Carly woke up on Christmas morning to the smell of French toast and eggs. She was pleasantly surprised to see that she didn't feel like throwing up at the smell of any of it. She hoped that her morning sickness had officially passed for now.
So she slipped out of Spencer's bed, and headed down the hall to where Sam and Spencer were waiting. She had been snuggled in her bathrobe that Spencer had left in the hook of his bedroom door. She smiled, feeling the warmth and softness as she had realized he had washed it for her.
"You're still here?" Carly wondered as she passed Sam.
"It's tradition at this point to spend Christmas with you guys. We exchange presents while my mom exchanges DNA with some dude at the bar."
Carly wrinkles her face, cringing with disgust. But nonetheless she was happy that Sam was here and joined her on the couch excitedly. She also noted the smell of sugar cookies in the oven and it was a mere seconds before she remembered her late night request that she had been too tired to fulfill.
"Morning kiddo! I trust you slept well?" Spencer shouted joyfully from the kitchen.
"Considering this is the first Christmas I wasn't woken by the smoke alarm at six a.m., I'd say we're off to a good start." She teased.
Spencer plopped a stack of French toast on a plate for Sam, sans the eggs, which she despised. She gratefully accepted them and hunkered down in the corner of the couch to eat them. Carly sat on the opposite end, fearful that her luck with little to no sickness anymore would be tested.
Spencer noticed her apprehension and smiled at her, ruffling her hair. She laughed, pulling away slightly as she tried to smooth it out.
"How about some dry toast, sugar cookies and a glass of water for the mom to be?" He put on his best faux waiter voice and Carly laughed.
"That'd be great; Thank you Spencer."
They all ate their breakfast, laughing and feeling safe in the spirit of Christmas. Sam could hardly get to seconds before Spencer excitedly shoved a present in Carly's hands.
"I made you a little something." He excitedly teased.
Carly unwrapped it, nervous as she remembered the events from the night before. Her mind flashed back to the moment she had realized that their baby had a name, a name she hadn't chosen. A surprise that had stolen the joy of giving that she had.
"Open it faster, Carls! Daylight is burning and Christmas only comes once a year!" Sam enthuses sarcastically.
Carly opens the box, smiling wide as she realizes what it was. What made her tear up though, was the fact that it had been a handmade replica of her own.
A gummy bear Mobile to go above the baby's crib.
It was whimsical and sentimental, but Carly laughed a bit. Spencer was the king of hazards, and though they were fire retardant and sealed, she thought it was funny that he was almost literally giving candy to a baby rather than taking. It made the saying almost better.
Spencer waited expectantly for her reaction but before Carly could speak she felt something that she hadn't before. She had butterflies in her stomach, but not in a queasy or nervous way. Or maybe it felt like popping, like a kernel turning to popcorn. She couldn't put words to describe what she thought she had felt, but apparently her mouth ran faster than her brain.
"Mmph." She groaned, slight discomfort in her voice.
Carly shifted, pulling her leg out from underneath her and stretching her body over her stomach. One hand rested on the couch cushion for support.
"What's wrong, Carls? Was this a bad idea?" Spencer jumped in, walking back to her side.
"I told you you can't give candy to a baby, even if it's just decoration." Sam smugly gave him an "I told you so" look.
Carly's other hand fell to where she thought she had felt the sensation, wondering if that was what Ruthie had experienced when she told Carly about something called "quickening". This time she was more certain than the times before because of how it had been noticeable enough to distract her from opening her presents.
Sam and Spencer nervously glanced at each other and then Carly, waiting for her to speak. When she finally did, they let out a sigh of relief.
"No, it's perfect. The baby has their first handmade sculpture from their Uncle Spencer. I love it."
Carly smiled, leaning over the arm of the chair and hugging her brother. She didn't mention the feeling that had bubbles from within. She felt slightly embarrassed though she didn't know why. She was blushing harder than the time she had thrown up in public, missing the trash can outside and having puke scatter on her shoes and Sam's.
Spencer threw on a few Christmas movies to pass the time while he cooked dinner for that night. He had invited over Mrs. Benson because she and Freddie were a package. They couldn't make the poor woman eat by herself no matter how irritating. Besides, her excitement for her grandchild was slowly revealing itself.
Carly decided to go upstairs and get showered in order to be ready for dinner. Fewer and fewer things fit over her stretching stomach and she cringed at the thought of jeans anyways. So she picked out soft flannel pajamas and threw them on her bed. She loved getting dolled up, but tonight was not the night as she expected to be stuffed.
She heard a knock on her door as she flipped right side up from wrapping her hair in a towel. Her head spun a bit from the sudden motion and her ears rang. It was vertigo but she was well aware when Freddie was standing in her doorway. Her face felt as though the blood had rushed out and down to her feet.
"Hey, I came upstairs to get away from the chaos. I've always felt so at peace when I'm with you."
He smiles sweetly, and she thought that was a bold entrance from someone who she had just fought with last night. Had he come to make it up to her? To apologize? Should she apologize? See, he made her crazy, sometimes in a good "I'm falling for you." Kind of way and other times his antics made her lose her mind.
"Can we talk?" He finally speaks again.
His voice seemingly boomed from the doorway behind her and she recoiled at the thought of his touch, not because she hated him but because she was embarrassed. She didn't want to see him yet, not until she had enough time to mentally rehearse her apology.
However, she had decided she had nothing to apologize for because her feelings were valid and her own. Bold of him to enter and the first thing out of his mouth not be an apology she thought. Was that entitled to say? Why was she always second guessing herself?
"I can see you're upset, and I understand. I was out of line yesterday and can see that I made you uncomfortable by overstepping. Any name tou decide on is yours to choose." He began to confirm and she turned around.
She walked to her bed, gesturing for him to sit. He sat across from her to give her space. She crossed her arms tentatively, willing to hear him out.
She cared about him, she did, but all of a sudden she was a little more cross with him now than she was in the middle of the night when she was worrying about him or how she reacted.
Carly sighed loudly, gathering the right words to speak. She wasn't angry. He seemed to gingerly accept her invitation to sit even though he had invited himself upstairs.
She was just hurt. Maybe a little cross, but she felt mostly sadness over the way she had reacted. But she wasn't the only one to blame. She had every right to be upset and even if she wasn't proud, she really hadn't done anything wrong. Freddie had been out of line when it could have been avoided over a conversation. They were young after all and had some work to do, but it could be okay.
Months ago she had wanted to quit, to throw it all away in fear. She wanted to push him away to protect herself and their friendship. But she was willing to do it now over a name? Their baby needed them to get along more than ever. They don't have to be dating for it to work but it sure would be helpful.
Freddie patiently waited for her to speak, seeing the gears turning in her mind. He wondered what she had to say. He too felt guilty . They were just two foolish teens after all. When Carly finally spoke he released a long held baited breath.
"Freddie, you're her father. Wanting to help name her isn't overstepping. I'm just upset that you went ahead and assumed that that was the name we were gonna go with without talking to me first. That's why I'm hurt and where you overstepped."
"I'm sorry." He repeats, hearing how shaky her breathing was as she tried not to blow up again.
Her hormones were wild, but that didn't invalidate her real feelings of feeling betrayed or annoyed or any of it and he knew that. He was truly sorry he caused her to get so upset, and he wishes he hadn't snapped back at her out of defensiveness.
"Me too. I should have communicated better."
"How? You've been including me in all the appointments and letting me know when I've made you uncomfortable. I was the one that just assumed you liked it and ran with it. I didn't mean it and shouldn't have attacked you about not being inclusive."
Carly sighs, picking at her nails to avoid eye contact. She was afraid she'd take one look in his brown eyes and start sobbing. These freaking hormones.
"No, I haven't. I just shut down and you take that as a hint to drop the subject. And then something serious like naming a human comes up and I get freaked out. If we can't communicate about these things and smaller fights, how are we gonna agree on how to raise our daughter?"
"I mean, we've already discussed the possibility of pursuing parenthood. That's one discussion and one huge decision together."
"We've got to learn to communicate and work through minor disagreements if we want this to work. That way when big things come out we will know how to navigate them."
"I promise to go to you first about things if you will. No more bottling up our feelings."
"Agreed."
She nods, looking up to see him holding his pinky finger out to her. Carly laughs, the juvenile gesture warming her heart a little bit. They were about to be parents and still little things like pinky promises meant the world to him.
After a few beats of silence she shifted, scooting across the bed to him. He smiled, wrapping his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder.
"You're gonna be a great dad."
"I hope so." He dismissed and she frowned.
Had her suspicions been correct? Was there something more than just feeling I fit because they were young? More than just nerves? Could some of his self doubt be from what his father had shattered? The trust, the doubt? She should let him speak first, she thought.
"No, I mean it, Freddie. You haven't left my side since I got pregnant, what is gonna change that?" She tried to comfort him.
"My dad left when things got hard, and it ruined me. I've wanted nothing more since then than to be better."
She could her the hurt in his voice, and it pained her that he believed the worst in himself. He had never been like his dad.
He was patient and caring. He endured years of teasing from Sam and he had yet to hurt her. She had even exposed him on the Internet for never kissing anyone. And still, he never left.
"Sure it'll be hard, but if we continue to communicate and work together we will find a way to get through it. We both have a lot of growing to do, but don't let what your dad did define you or scare you out of this."
She heard him sniffle and it broke her heart. This was the first time in a long time she had heard him cry. He was a sensitive boy, but as long as Sam was around he would never let her see it to use it against him.
Carly was thoughtful for a while, rubbing circles on his back. She knew the truth, that this one fight wasn't gonna end it all. But it would help them come to an understanding to hear him out. After silence for a while Carly finally spoke again.
"You're not like your dad, Freddie. You're not just gonna leave us when things get tough. I know you better than that and trust you. So if that's what you're worried about-"
"Nah, I'm just worried about letting you both down."
"Parenting is a team effort. You aren't in this alone. And as long as we do this and are willing to listen, we can work through anything. Betrayal of trust is a let down, and you have yet to do that. That's the only thing I could think of, and I know you won't as long as I love you."
Freddie felt his heart flutter. He couldn't remember the last time he had heard her confess her love, let alone say "I love you". Usually it was a text with hearts or just a quick "love y'a!" On the way out.
Up until that moment he hadn't realized how in love with her he actually was. She was having his baby, and he'd forever be grateful even though it was unplanned. She was the kindest, bravest soul with so many emotions.
"I love you too." He blushed.
He stared into her big round saucers for eyes, noting the kindest in them. They had a warmth to them, almost inviting. Inviting him to kiss her, to embrace her with his lips and to let her know how loved she was and he did.
Their lips met, dancing in sync with each other and for a moment, none of this bad stuff mattered. When they separated, they nervously laughed. Carly took his hand, intertwining their fingers and resting her head back on his shoulder.
"So obviously this is kind of an important discussion, but I think we should come to an agreement on a name sooner than later. Let's get through this disagreement." Freddie laughed.
"Well, a name is an important detail in getting to know our daughter. Why did you choose that one to put on the ornament?"
"Her name would mean star. And she would be the brightest star in our world. She comes from a mom who was an Internet star of her time. And since I have some Spanish roots and speak Spanish because of the chip in my brain, I figured I'd give her something from me too."
"Your roots seem much more humble than a self proclaimed Internet star." Carly laughed.
"The viewers and Jimmy Fallon would disagree. She's gonna grow up a star, maybe not on the Internet but she'll still have a whole community of people who care about her."
"Well it's settled then? We can add her name to the list of consideration?" Freddie implied hopefully.
"I think you made it easy to narrow the list down to one name. I love it, Freddie. This name means a lot to you and it means a lot to me how much you care for your daughter already that you want to put so much meaning into her name."
Carly smiles, thinking of the sweet sentiment. They weren't so famous or shallow they could name their kid whatever and no one would bat an eye but at least they could still give her a name that was cool to them. And Freddie smiled too, excited that she loved the name. It was decided then.
"You know what else is pretty cool? I have a whole family that is excited. That's the important thing. It's cool to have a fan base and all, but I've got one right here and home. iCarly ending doesn't mean the support did." Carly smiles.
Freddie agrees, smiling at Carly as she puts her hand where her big bump would be in a few short months. She looked like she was content, grazing her hand softly back and forth in comfort. Freddie had seen pregnant women do that and he wondered if it was a comfort thing or if she had finally felt something.
She saw him staring and she took his hand, sandwiching it between hers and her stomach. The baby wasn't moving right now, and she was certain he wouldn't feel her anyways. But she enjoyed his warm touch. She hadn't always been like this, but she wanted him to know he was wanted.
"We'll always be here for you, Carls. And I'd like to think it's pretty cool that we get to tell our daughter we were in Fallon one day and that if she wanted to do a show, she'd probably have support from people she hasn't even met."
"Yeah, Jimmy really came through in saving us the first time we almost canceled iCarly."
Carly paused, staring off into space a bit. She was silently calculating her thoughts, trying to decide if her idea would work. A light bulb literally switched in her brain and she grew hopefully. She just worried it would be stupid.
"Freddie, grab my laptop and follow me downstairs!" She demanded excitedly.
"What's going on?" He was worried.
He grabbed her laptop and put it in tow under his arm, following a hurried Carly out the door and down the steps.
Sam and Spencer looked up from their board game to see Carly racing down the stairs and nearly losing her footing and losing her balance. Their hearts stopped for a fraction of a second as she started to tumble backwards but luckily she had caught herself on the railing. They both scrambled to their feet, planning to race to her side as it had happened.
Freddie was right behind her, helping push her up as it had happened. Luckily he was there to catch her despite her instinct to reach the railing. They all let out a collective sigh of relief even though anxiety had rushed over them.
Freddie had dropped the laptop in the process of trying to catch Carly and the sound of it hitting the stairs and tumbling had startled them too. However, it remained unharmed. They were just relieved that Carly was okay; The laptop could always be replaced, but she couldn't.
"Okay, what in the fresh chiz is going on?"
Sam demanded an explanation for her antics, and walked over to help brush her off. She handed Freddie his computer back and wrapped an arm around Carly, aiding her to the couch closest to the seat by her brother to sit.
"We need to FaceTime Jimmy Fallon but I need his info off of the desktop computer! He can help us with Nevel!"
"You almost took a spill on the stairs for that?!" Spencer screeched.
"Carls," Sam half laughed, "Do you think Fallon is just sitting around waiting for us to call him to rescue again. It's Christmas, ya crazy kid."
Carly sighed in frustration, wanting her to hear her out before mocking her. She knew how to execute this plan, she was confondent in this. Sam and Spencer sat there, their hearts racing from watching Carly nearly take a spill on the steps and the blood had rushed from their faces.
Spencer had a plate of sugar cookies sitting on the table by the couch, the aroma inviting Carly over but she wouldn't let it distract her from her mission. They were all concerned with her spaciness lately and her ability to only focus on Ruthie when she had bigger issues at hand. Focusing on the needs of herself and unborn child.
"Carly, I think it's wonderful that you have such a big heart for helping kiddo, but I'm concerned."
Spencer finally spoke, standing up and inviting Carly to the couch to sit. Freddie followed, wrapping her from behind with a blanket before sitting beside her.
"You don't understand just because you're not pregnant and you're not being threatened by your evil cousin who thinks he can control everything with his weird big brain." Carly grew defensive.
"I think it's wonderful you care so much but sometimes you have to accept that things aren't always in your control. The only thing you can control is your own self and how you handle your situation." Spencer reiterated.
"This isn't fair! You can't just not help someone that came to you for help! I can't give up on Ruthie!"
Carly felt her hormones surge, her face growing red with frustration and tears building in her eyes. She stood up, feeling Freddie grab her hand and squeeze. He tried to ground her, to help her calm down.
"Carly, we're not saying you can't help her. But I do think you need to take time to prioritize yourself. It's not healthy. Seriously, how much thought have you put into your own situation?" Spencer connotes.
"What is this, a Christmas intervention?" She hysterically remarks.
"Besides, Freddie and I made up. First problem solved."
Carly lets out a shaky breath, fighting the tears that were fighting to make their way out. She felt embarrassed by her outburst, but she truly was worried about Ruthie. All the while, her family was worried about her. She had been so invested in Ruthie she hadn't been putting thought into much of her own situation.
"Do you think you're investing time in Ruthie not only because you care but so you can avoid your own problems?"
Carly sheepishly wrings her hands together. She knew that she had been avoiding a lot of responsibilities lately. She had been so invested in someone else's life to the point of an obsession but it was only because she cared. And she didn't like feeling like she was being gaslit into feeling like a crazy person even if that wasn't their intent.
"I mean, I've thought about the baby and Freddie and I have decided we're going to keep them." Carly informs him.
"That's not enough kiddo. Have you put thought into how much a kid costs? About getting jobs? How much are diapers and clothes and the bills are going to cost?"
Carly knew he was right. She hadn't given that part much thought. She always thought that dad would take care of those things. He had always taken care of Carly and Spencer.
"I guess I hoped dad would help." She admits.
"Carls, he's always gonna be supportive, but do you think that's really his responsibility? You have a responsibility to provide too kiddo, this is your baby. We are going to do everything we can to support you but you're gonna have to take some responsibility and grow up a little bit."
Carly was quiet and slightly pouty. It was more stubbornness because she knew he was right and she hated to admit it. She was embarrassed by her actions at the same time she was going through a boat load of changes. But she wasn't in it alone, and Spencer would make sure she knew that.
"Despite this all, you're just a kid yourself. You're not completely on your own, we're gonna help take care of you too and do whatever we possibly can to help you both. Just because you're having a kid doesn't mean you don't need help too or have to figure it out on your own. You may have to grow up a little faster than most, but that doesn't mean that you don't still need someone to help you with the opportunity to grow and navigate things."
"Yeah Carls, you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. Even grownups need guidance sometimes. We weren't meant to do this human thing on our own." Freddie agreed.
Carly felt bad. She didn't mean to come off entitled, and Spencer knew that. She was still just a child herself, and she had a teenage mindset. She was going to learn as she goes, and she would have their support no matter what.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out."
"It's okay Kiddo. You're going through so much, and we know your heart is always in the right place. You have some growing up to do, but that doesn't make you immature for having that, it makes you a teenager. You're still a kid yourself, you just have to grow up a little faster than your other peers."
Carly sat back down, feeling Freddie put his arm around her shoulder and rubbing her arm. She leaned her head in him and he grabbed a tissue from the table with his free hand, wiping her face.
"I love you guys. Thank you." She finally smiles.
"We love you too." Sam smiles and Spencer agrees.
"You're not in this alone." Freddie reiterates.
"Unless you're Freddie, and you think you can handle solo baby naming." Sam throws in facetiously and Freddie scowls.
Carly laughs despite the timing, it may be a little soon to open that wound. It wasn't funny but the timing of the joke was. She could always count on Sam to make her laugh even if it was a little inappropriate sometimes. Despite all the stress, she felt okay with laughing because they had come to a conclusion. She and Freddie had agreed on a name.
"We can still help Ruthie after the holidays though, right? I promise to focus on myself but I'm gonna need your help because this has been so overwhelming. Deciding on a baby name felt like such a daunting task, I couldn't imagine doing this on my own."
"Of course we will Kiddo. I promise we will message Mr. Fallon after Christmas." He responds, slightly teasing.
"Okay, I know you're being slightly sarcastic." Carly teased back, rolling her eyes playfully.
Spencer hugs her and she smiles, feeling the warmth of the season. It was about family and giving. Not necessarily presents but the gift of being a friend or family.
"So do you have a baby name for my god son or daughter?" Sam pried.
"I'm betting on a girl given the context clues and all the times you played off your slip ups." Spencer implies.
"I'm not telling you until the baby is born." Carly responded flatly and Sam groaned.
Carly and Freddie smirked at each other, enjoying being the ones to tease Sam in a playful way. No one else knew the name, it was their secret. It was kind of intimate to celebrate the baby. They may have suspicions on the sex but no intel the name. For now, it would be their sweet little secret.
