Before we get into the action, here's some Leyenar bonding moments with the OG6. (Bruce and Clint are lumped together since I really don't have much to write on them. Still love them, though.)
The character of Zan Olsen is based on Zan Owlson from DuckTales, 2017.
"Tell Irah that I'm grateful when he wakes up. We've got a long road ahead of us, don't we?" said Leyenar, giddy in her new suit of armor. The Arc Shield folded itself neatly into a small disc that she slotted into her arm.
"Sure we do." said Carol, and that was when everyone noticed that she had brought a sword into the place.
Leyenar spotted the sword, and asked "What's it for?"
"You." said Carol as she offered the sword to the director. "Talos and Soren had told me a story once, back when the Kree and the Skrulls lived in harmony. A legendary hero named Dorrek Supreme was born during that era to a Kree father and a Skrull mother, and he forged his two ancestral swords into one mighty weapon called Excelsior, the Star Sword, with which he led many battles to victory. But with his death, it was lost forever...or so everyone thought, until I found it. It's right here, you're looking at it. And I figured that you needed a sword to go with your shield."
"Thanks, Mimi." said Leyenar as she took the Star Sword and carefully inspected the blade. It was like a thousand thousand flame-sprites of all colors were springing from the blade, creating a mesmerizing sight.
"It will certainly be useful in killing Thanos." Nebula said. "From what I heard, he's planning to keep things the way they are now, which means that he'll be ruling with an iron fist from this point forward."
"To prevent the worst, we've gotta salvage whatever we have left." Nat added.
"Oh, I know what we're gonna do." said Leyenar, then hooked the sword on her left, the suit quickly creating a strap to hold it in place.
Just then, Sigyn entered the hall and found Valkyrie. Their eyes met, and Sigyn gasped. "Brunnhilde?"
"Sigyn?" asked Valkyrie. "I thought...I thought you were..."
"But here I am, sister. Here I am." Sigyn said, and the two embraced.
And the following weeks were quite busy for the remaining heroes, with Leyenar having to balance between the training program FRIDAY had set for her and the recruiting missions for whatever reinforcements available.
HandClap-Fitz & The Tantrums
(Turn it up)
Somebody save your soul,
'Cause you've been sinning in this city, I know,
Too many troubles,
All these lovers got you losing control,
You're like a drug to me, a luxury, my sugar and gold,
I want the good life, every good night,
You're a hard one to hold,
'Cause you don't even know,
I can make your hands clap,
Said I can make your hands clap,
Leyenar deflected several flying drones with her Arc Shield and cleaved more of them in half with the Star Sword. Then another door opened, and a large-scale adversary entered the training hall. "Oh, shoot." muttered the director.
Somebody save your soul,
'Cause you've been sinning in this city, I know,
Too many troubles,
All these lovers got you losing control,
You're like a drug to me, a luxury, my sugar and gold,
I want your sex and your affection,
When they're holding you close, (ha, ha, ha)
'Cause you don't even know,
I can make your hands clap,
Said I can make your hands clap,
"But how is this even possible?" Thor asked, watching Leyenar casually speak to his older sister who he believed to be gone for good.
"Oh, brother," Hela smirked, "You should have known, you can't really kill death."
Every night when the stars come out,
Am I the only living soul around?
Need to believe you could hold me down,
'Cause I'm in need of something good right now,
Leyenar threw the Arc Shield across the training hall, hitting the large-scale adversary smack in the chest. She flicked her wrist and the shield came back to her, then a red uni-beam fired from the reactor in the middle, utterly frying the robot.
We could be screaming 'till the sun comes out,
And when we wake, we'd be the only sound,
Get on my knees and say a prayer, James Brown,
That I can make your hands clap!
That I can make your hands clap!
That I can make your hands clap!
"So, you said you want a part of the avenging, right?" Leyenar asked Valkyrie.
"As long as one Bruce Banner is involved." said the warrior woman.
"Don't worry, he most definitely is." Leyenar said. "But you'll be surprised when you know who else is involved."
"Oh, no. No, no, no." Valkyrie shook her head when she knew that they recruited Hela. "Never gonna happen."
"Yeah, I know, she killed your girlfriend, but she's a victim too. Please understand. Plus, you get the ultimate chance to confess what you feel for Big Green and his other self. Ain't I right?" asked the director.
"Okay, fine." Valkyrie agreed, trying desperately to hide her blush.
My flesh is searching for your worst,
And best, don't ever deny,
I'm like a stranger, gimme danger,
All your wrong and your right,
Secrets on Broadway to the freeway,
You're a keeper of crimes,
Fear no conviction,
Grapes of wrath can only sweeten your wine, (ha, ha, ha)
But you don't even know,
I can make your hands clap,
Said I can make your hands clap,
Leyenar was dueling against a sword-wielding robot. It was no match for the Star Sword, so it quickly broke down. Instantly, a replacement was dispatched.
Every night when the stars come out,
Am I the only living soul around?
Need to believe you could hold me down,
'Cause I'm in need of something good right now,
We could be screaming 'till the sun comes out,
And when we wake, we'd be the only sound,
Get on my knees and say a prayer, James Brown,
"Ollo?" asked Leyenar as she knocked on the Runaways' door.
"Say no more." said Gert Yorkes as she opened the door for her.
That I can make your hands clap!
That I can make your hands clap!
That I can make your hands clap!
(Yeah-yeah, oh, oh)
That I can make your hands clap!
(Yeah-yeah, oh, oh)
So can I get a hand clap?
"So, new girl, everyone here is about that superhero life. And if you don't mind my asking, where the hell have you been all this time?" Rhodey was asking Carol.
Immediately, Daisy stepped in for her girlfriend. "She was tasked by the director herself to go get an army to help fight Thanos."
"No one else would volunteer, so I had no choice but to turn to some of my friends from outer space and open a dimensional portal to another universe to challenge the evil Danvers Khan and gain access to her army." said Carol.
"Wait, who was Danvers Khan again?" asked Daisy.
"She's an intergalactic conqueror from a parallel universe inhabited by...me. Everyone there's me, and their reproduction cycle was...bizarre, to say the least. They shaped Carol Danverses out of random materials they could find and then baked them in a giant oven. Only the strongest Carol Danvers there is would lead them all, and that was Danvers Khan." said Carol as she recalled the battle between her and her warlord counterpart down to every gruesome detail. "That was the second time we fought. Pound for pound, superpower for superpower, it was an especially hard battle to fight. But then I remembered everyone, and Daisy. Especially Daisy. That gave me the extra boost needed to absorb her life force and assume control of the Carol Corps." she finished.
"That's adorable!" Leyenar said.
"That's how much I actually love you." Carol told Daisy.
"Yeah, if I had to fight an evil alternate universe version of myself, the same would happen." said Daisy, then pulled Carol by the collar to give her a big fat kiss on the lips.
"Alright, get it, Daisy-poo!" Leyenar cheered, then smirked at the two ladies. "Welcome to Leyenarville, Final Girls." Then suddenly, she heard arguing from a corner. Knowing it to be Hela and Valkyrie, she said "Hey, Pointbreak, your sister's at it again. And Big Green, you've gotta keep your girl down."
Thor shrugged.
"Len, how many times do I have to tell you? Valkyrie's not my girl." said Bruce.
"Well, we've gotta figure that out, eh? I've seen the way you act around her." Leyenar countered, then sighed. "Looks like I'll once again have to take care of everything myself."
But just as she was about to get up, Sigyn stepped over to Valkyrie and Hela. She placed a hand on Valkyrie's shoulder, and said "Sister, I know how you feel. But right now, we need all hands on deck to defeat Thanos." she said.
"I guess you're right." said Valkyrie, as she sighed in defeat. She glared at Hela as she left with Sigyn.
After yet another tiring day, Leyenar finally went to sleep unbothered, and dreamed of herself floating in space.
"What the juice?" she asked.
"At long last, Ego, you have rejoined us..." muttered a voice.
"Excuse me? My name's Leyenar, not Ego. Ego was Star-Lord's father." said Leyenar, not at all fazed by the fact that it was a blue crystal she was speaking to.
"Well, he just so happened to share a name with our Seventh Sister who you are acting as a vessel for right now." said the blue crystal. "You will get to know in all due time. Welcome back, Ego, to the Heart of Infinity. The birthplace of the Stones. I am the real form of the Space Stone."
"Holy unanticipated occurrences." said Leyenar.
"The others will speak now."
5 other crystals lit up. Each a different color, green, red, purple, yellow, and orange.
"Welcome back, Seventh Sister." said the Reality Stone, red.
"What the heck is going on?" asked Leyenar, a bit puzzled.
"We need your help." said the Mind Stone, yellow.
"When Thanos used us, he didn't create balance, he created chaos in the entire universe." The Power Stone said.
"But, why did you allow him to use you?"
"It is against our rules to interfere in any shape or form on what the mortals do." The Time Stone said.
"That rule can only be broken if the situation has no other choice, like this one." The Soul Stone said.
"The Space Stone was the first that decided that the rule must be broken, Mind, Soul, and I soon agreed after seeing what was happening, then Power and Reality agreed." said Time.
"Yeah, I guess, but why did you call me?" said the director.
"Because Thanos is the only one to use all six of us, and you, Ego, our missing compartment, is the only one who we see fit to lead the charge against him." Space said.
"What a coincidence!" said Leyenar. "I wasn't necessarily planning to lead them, but I do have that vendetta against Thanos, so."
The Soul Stone made a crystal-tingling sound, then began to sing in a soft voice.
Where the North wind meets the sky,
There's a river full of memory,
Sleep, my darling, safe and sound,
For in this river, all is found.
In His waters, deep and true,
Lie the answers and a path for you,
Dive down deep into His sound,
But not too far or you'll be drowned,
Yes, He will sing to those who'll hear,
And in His song, all power flows,
But can you brave what you most fear?
Can you face what the river knows?
Where the North wind meets the sky,
There's an artist full of memory,
Come, my darling, homeward bound,
When all is lost, then all is found.
Leyenar looked at her hands, and found her entire body glowing a bright white, with rainbow sparks disappearing and reappearing every now and then.
"Seventh Sister, before you depart, I will give you a warning." said Reality. "The Black Order isn't entirely wiped out, their strongest general Supergiant is still alive, and she will provide quite the challenge. Keep an eye out for her."
"You betcha." Leyenar grinned, and woke up with a smile on her face. There was still so many unanswered questions, but she would later learn them all. Grinning nonchalantly, she went on about her daily routine.
She put on her new suit and took to the streets for daily patrol, and one of the first person in distress she found was a teenage girl being harassed by some older men in a back alley. Rage overtook her, and when she came to her senses again, there was blood on the Star Sword and the men were nothing more than butchered corpses. "You OK?" she asked, shaking at her first real killing.
"Who are you?" asked the girl, shivering.
"I'm the Civil Warrior." Leyenar said, voice cracking.
"T...thank you...Civil Warrior..." the girl wheezed out, then turned and high-tailed out of Leyenar's sight.
Better be used to this, Len, this could be your life, Leyenar thought.
"Have you checked out what else this suit has got for you?" asked Ultron, and with that, wings shot out of her back, made of red, solid energy compartments attached to metal bases.
"Sweet!" she exclaimed. "I think I'll call them Transcendent Wings."
"You and your naming conventions..." said the AI.
"What can I say? I'm just like that, Murderbot." she snarked as she flew off in search of more people who needed help. Through the entire city, she could see people trying to cope with the Snap™ in various ways, and she had to pluck some people from suicide. How devastating the news and papers would be, she didn't even want to think about it. But she'd watch it anyway, to remind the Avengers of their mission.
"Director," Ultron then told her, "Did I tell you about the sentries I saved for you?"
Leyenar only giggled in response. The AI—her AI—proceeded to disclose the location of the sentries, for her ears only. Him being confined to the suit she now wore and still holding power over the bots was impressive, to say the least.
Just then, she got a voice message from FRIDAY. "Director, Boss is awake. He wants you to meet a very special someone."
So Leyenar decided to test out her new hyper-warp capabilities—she was miles away from the current Stark Industries HQ. "Ultron, gimme that location." she ordered.
"Right away, sir." replied Ultron, and put the target location in. In no time at all, she was inside the meeting place for the CEO and the board of directors, except there were only two people present—Tony and a new face.
"Oh, Irah, I'm so, so, so glad you're back up and running! Thank you for this snazzy suit, by the way." she said.
"Keep the thanks, Len. By the way, I'd like you to meet Zan Olsen." said Tony as the new face, a nice, dark-skinned woman in a pant-suit, stepped up. "The new CEO of Stark Industries. Since Pepper's been disqualified and Ultron's unavailable, it only left her and she's shown herself to be more than capable."
"I don't think I'm really CEO material, either." Ultron said.
"Nice to meet you, Movie Director Leyenar." said Zan.
"Ollo, Ms. Olsen." Leyenar replied as she willed her helmet away. She then turned to Tony and said "Did Pooper have any problems about you and your board of directors replacing her with a black lady?"
"Oh, she outgrew that, thankfully." said Tony. "She'll come around. Guess giving her her own suit had its effects."
Leyenar smiled. "You are impossible." she chuckled, and asked Zan "Can I borrow Mr. Stark for a moment?"
"Sure thing." Zan said.
Later, Tony and Leyenar were out on the balcony, feeling the cool breeze. "Thanos is preparing for hostile takeover, y'know. And everyone's calling you the Earth's Best Defender, so. I figured your brain would REALLY be of help, besides everyone knows you're a meaningful and valued member..."
"I get it, I get it." said Tony. "We've sure come a long way, haven't we?"
"We sure have." Leyenar replied. "Remember when I first phased into the MCU? I fell asleep in my outside world bed, excited to see Age Of Ultron the next day, then the next morning, I woke up in your bed. To see your surprised face was one thing, and..."
"And everyone was riled up about it." Tony giggled. "Everyone was all "Tony, why do you have a little girl in your bed?" "Tony, I had no idea you'd sink that low!", and I had no idea how to explain until I saw you were just as surprised as me."
"Then Pointbreak stepped up and said "So this is the new director we've been assigned! Although why she's in your bed beats me, Friend Tony...", and you all were surprised another time." Leyenar said, laughter creeping into her voice as well. Thor was always on a whole new level, that was a fact both could agree on. "Trust me, I was just as confused. I had no idea what this "director" stuff was all about until Cap explained it to me, and I realized that I really was in the same room as the Avengers. And then you, Irah, you took me out shopping to get me some new clothes. You giving me this damn suit reminded me of that day."
"And I remember you shooting down my comment about prima nocta. Y'know, back when we had a big Avengers party, the one where we first met Ultron? You really showed no mercy that moment." said Tony.
"Don't ever say anything like that again." Leyenar snarked.
"I won't." Tony promised. "By the way, King Shuri and I are working on this joint project to do something about your glasses factor since you despise contacts."
"Thanks. When the suit bonded with me, it found a way to work around my glasses but that's very thoughtful of you." Leyenar grinned.
"I just felt like I had to." Tony said. "When you left, I realized how far we all had fallen. I mean, you're the sticky gooey stuff that keeps the team together, you may have not been part of our first big battle, but the Avengers would be incomplete without you. So I figured, if your biggest wish would be granted, then you'd be back to lead us. Just as when I finished gathering all the parts for your new suit, Pepper came back into my life and...and...and I just fell into her arms."
"I don't blame you, one has only to be at the darkest hour of their life to do something like that. Just tell me you'll reconcile with Cap." said the director.
"Len!" Tony said, blushing furiously.
Leyenar moved to sit on the sill. "Now, you may resume your duty. I'm off to check on that support group Cap said he was starting. I'll be looking forward to seeing you on our next gathering, and I'll make sure to bring a cheeseburger with me in case you ever go hungry. I am forever in your debt." she said, before putting her helmet back on and tipping herself off in a direction that would be hazardous for any fictional character but she was a real person, while she was in the fictional omniverse, she was nigh invulnerable. It was impossible to harm her by any means. And as if that wasn't enough, she could fly now.
Tony watched her sail away on a pair of red wings, then vanish out of sight in a mere second. He would have to remind her not to pull crazy stunts like that sometime after Thanos was dealt with.
Leyenar met Steve with a little group of people. One of them, a man named Bobby, looked particularly glum. "So I, uh...Went on a date the other day. I'm sitting there at dinner...I didn't even know what to talk about. I know the Avengers are putting their asses into taking down the source of all my grief, but...doing that won't bring my fiance back, so I went on a date." he said.
"What did you talk about?" asked Steve.
"Same old crap, you know? How things have changed, and...my job, his job...How much we miss the Mets. And then things get quiet... He cried as they were serving the salads." said Bobby.
"What about you?" Leyenar asked.
"I cried... just before dessert. But I'm seeing him again tomorrow, so..." said Bobby.
"That's great. You did the hardest part. You took the jump, you didn't know where you were gonna come down. And that's it. That's those little brave baby steps we gotta take. To try and become whole again, try and find purpose. I went in the ice in '45 right after I met the love of my life. Woke up 70 years later. Found new love, and that time, I thought it was forever. He created an AI to keep us together—which Director Leyenar here is keeping in her suit right now, by the way, anyhoo, I believed he and I would last. Silly me. I shouldn't have made assumptions. We...disagreed, we had a falling out, which escalated into a full-blown civil war with everybody taking sides. Hell, I should have listened to him a bit more, but I didn't. And...I lost him. I lost him, and he moved on. I don't really blame him. You gotta move on. Gotta move on. The world is in our hands. It's left to us Avengers, and we got to do something with it. Otherwise... Thanos should have killed all of us." Steve told him.
Leyenar simply nodded.
LATER...
After the support group meeting ended, Leyenar and Steve decided to take a break at a nearby Panda Express. Leyenar had taken off the suit; she got herself a large helping of orange chicken, while Steve decided to try a bowl of shrimp. The director took a big slurp out of her cup of strawberry Fanta, then said "I heard you started on Star Trek."
"I'm actually on my second binge of Deep Space Nine. What about you?" Steve asked.
"I'm learning Klingon." said Leyenar. "That, and organizing raids to strike at Thanos and his cronies and those religious fanatics who think Thanos is an avenging angel or something. Avenging is our jam." (For context, those "fanatics" I speak of are religious groups like a vast majority of fundamentalist Christians, the ISIL, the Taliban, and a great deal of Haredim.)
"Holy bagumba, Leyenar, what a flippin' savage." Steve remarked. "But to be fair, I think you could be right. Those fanatics thought the same of the Chitauri invasion of 2012, calling it judgement from their God, not caring a bit that it was led by who they would call a false god and a demon, just like how they condemned Thor."
"I'm more impressed at how you remained unfazed at the backlash when you and Irah went public with your relationship." said Leyenar.
"What can I say? In fact, I wanted Jadzia to marry Nerys instead of Worf—" Steve began, only to be cut off.
"I bet you're disappointed that Jadzia didn't run into Nerys's arms when Sirella said "That's it! No Klingon wedding for you!"." Leyenar said. "Anyhoo, after Thanos is dealt with, you have to help me organize another raid on Paramount Pictures so I can have my canon Spirk."
"I would if you were not more than capable of pulling it off. Also, me helping you would just garner more "Team Iron Man" people." Steve replied. "And that would make you upset."
"Fair point." Leyenar replied.
They ate in silence for the next fifteen minutes, and eventually, the time came for them to part ways.
"See ya around, Cap." said Leyenar, as she and Steve shook hands. "Cheese!" she said, and the suit formed around her. She activated her Transcendent Wings and flew off into the distance, back to the Avengers Mansion.
"Yeah." said Steve. "See ya around..."
Later that night, Leyenar stayed around to see if Steve and Tony would patch things up. She did hear them talking, but it wasn't about their issues, it was about her. "...so precious, acting all brave..." Tony was saying, the protectiveness evident in his voice.
"...fragile...what would she do without...if it wasn't for..." Steve was also saying.
Now Leyenar was mad. It's not fair! she thought, I'm just as tough and strong and mean as everyone else, but they just don't believe me. They all treat me like a baby, and I'm 15! Flippin' 15! I'll show them. I'll prove that I can be...hardcore!
She rushed to the training room, already in her full battle dress, Star Sword in one hand, Arc Shield in the other. "FRIDAY, how high was the danger level when I trained?" she asked.
"2." replied the AI.
"Turn it up, then!" Leyenar yelled. "To the highest level!"
"Yes, Director." replied FRIDAY, and began adjusting the danger level, all the way up to 11. In no time at all, the training room had transformed into a hellscape with adversaries at every turn.
Leyenar was knocked by an unseen assailant and sent flying. When she opened her eyes, she found herself facing five adversaries at once:a pterodactyl, an octopus, a creature with one horn and arms ending in pincers, a scaly giant with a single eye in its chest, and a large pink monster with bug eyes and octopus tentacles. She zigzagged near the ground, avoiding fists, feet, and claws, and activated her Transcendent Wings, before flying straight toward the mouth of the last beast. She wedged herself in its teeth and tried to hold the mouth open, everyone else's words echoing in her head.
Ain't she cute? Tony.
Everyone knows you're the scarediest. Clint.
Not ready for the higher levels… Thor.
Leave the hall light on. Steve.
The monster's jaws snapped shut, and it smiled, only for that haughty smile to soon morph into a panicked gasp when a gigantic uni-beam exploded from behind its teeth, a red, white and blue blur zipped out of the hole it left behind, and did a screaming U-turn to attack it. Leyenar dispatched her adversary in short order, finally knocking it back into the skyline behind her; a mushroom cloud rising when it landed. A laser blast then caught her by surprise, but it didn't make a scratch on neither her person nor the patented Civil Warrior armor—Leyenar turned to see the other four monsters. The pterodactyl, the one that fired the shot, screeched in triumph.
"Alright. You wanna go? You want some argy-bargy? OK, here I come!" declared the director, brandishing her weapons, smirking behind her helmet, she then let out a war cry before lunging at all four monsters at once, showing no mercy whatsoever. She threw her Arc Shield at the pterodactyl, the sharp edges of the weapon slicing through its throat clean, possibly in payback for the cheap shot it pulled on her while she was distracted. Eyes and appendages got torn loose, knocked off, blasted to smithereens or sliced into ribbons in rapid succession. She landed, panting hard, the monsters falling in a row behind her, battered, bruised, bloody, and beaten.
Suddenly, she heard loud whistling and clapping behind her as the simulated wasteland was lifted, and turned to see Natasha. "What the...were you here this whole time?" she asked.
"Impressive." said the spy. "No Avenger, not even Thor or the Hulk, ever made it out of Level 11. You proved yourself true when you did."
"Thanks." said Leyenar. "I just wish they'll let me lead the charge when we go head-on against Thanos."
"They will." Natasha replied. "You're the one in charge, after all. You always were, even when you didn't have that suit."
"I used to have nothing. And then I got this. This job...this family. And I was...I was better because of it." Leyenar smiled. "If it means staying with them, with you lot, I'd do most anything. What do you wanna do when this is all over? I wanna throw a victory party and eat shawarma. Sing, dance, and laugh. Go back to the simpler days when it was just the seven of us and everyday cases that I dispatched y'all on."
"I think I'll adopt that dog I've been keeping my eyes on." Natasha smiled too.
"Just keep it away from me. I'm allergic to fur." said Leyenar.
"Sir, yes, sir." replied Natasha, saluting.
"Are you quite finished?" FRIDAY asked from the systems.
"Yes, we are." said Leyenar.
"I recorded everything. Mind if I share them with your peers?" asked the AI.
"You most definitely can." Leyenar nodded.
"OK, now let's get you to bed. Aren't you tired from all that asskicking?" asked Natasha, and earned a yawn in reply.
If FRIDAY had a face, she'd be smiling right now. She watched as the two women exited the training room, to Leyenar's room.
Next day, Leyenar was watching Bruce train with Valkyrie, who was trying various methods to get the Hulk to "snap out of it". The tension was so tight between them that the director could cut it with a knife, but she had a smile on her face.
"Hey," Clint said as he entered with bottles of Figgy Fizz in his hands, decked out in a new costume.
Like a spring uncoiling, Leyenar stood up and snatched a bottle from his hand. "Thanks." she said. "Do you think she'll bring out the Hulk?"
"I don't know." answered the archer. "By the way, I'm thinking of burying Hawkeye for a while. Until Thanos is dealt with, I will be known as Ronin."
"So that's what your new ninja suit is for!" said Leyenar. "Going stealthy, for old times' sake, amirite? Have you and Blackie agreed on being partnered up again? Should I ask her again?"
Just then, Bruce and Valkyrie disengaged from their training. "I tried everything but he just won't come out." said the warrior woman.
"Take it easy. You know ol' Brucie Bear hates being weaponized, and being forced to go green." Leyenar told her.
"No, no, you don't really have to go all protective fangirl over me and the other guy." said Bruce. "With Betty, everything was so difficult. With Nat, there was always this undercurrent of uneasiness between us. But Brunnhilde...she's different. She likes me when I'm myself, but she also likes me when I'm green. I've never met anyone like her before." he said, then took Valkyrie's hands and began singing.
Yeah, ooh,
Yeah,
I've never met nobody like you,
Had friends, and I've had buddies, it's true,
But they don't turn my tummy the way you do,
I've never met nobody like you,
Oh, yeah,
Yeah,
You're never not on my mind, oh my, oh my,
I'm never not by your side, your side, your side,
I'm never gon' let you cry, oh, cry, don't cry,
I'll never not be your ride or die, alright...
"Oookay?" said Valkyrie, as she parted their joined hands.
Leyenar, never missing the opportunity, began teasing the two. "Big Green and Valky, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
"OK, Len, cut it out, will ya?" said Clint. "I swear, someday, your obsession with pairing your people up will definitely get you in some serious trouble. I remember you asking if Steve and Tony got to share a room when I invited the team to my house..."
"Yeah." said Bruce. "I like her alright, but not in that way." But even as he was saying this, his eyes were fixated on Valkyrie's backside as she exited the training room.
"By the way, Banner, remember when this fearless warrior before us was the only thing tying us together?" Clint asked.
"Yeah. She was so little back then." Bruce replied.
The statement made Leyenar nostalgic. "Even after y'all discovered I could not be hurt or killed due to me being a real person, y'all never stopped protecting me."
"And now you can hold your own." said Clint. "I saw the training video FRIDAY recorded. We all did. That suit Tony gave you is crazy powerful alright, but you're the one who wears it, and you really showed us your worst."
"Even when the Hulk was at his angriest, he never did manage to beat Level 11. But you did." Bruce said.
Leyenar took a big swig out of her bottle of Figgy Fizz, and exclaimed "Hoo-yah!"
"Hey, wanna go grab a bite?" Rocket asked as he walked in.
All three Avengers were quick to say yes.
It was the 30th day of the first month since the Snap™, and Leyenar was torn from her work by the ruckus Valkyrie had caused. "By Odin's beard, my sisters, I WILL avenge your deaths!" she was yelling, an enormous bottle of beer in her hands. "Hela, goddess of death, murderer of my comrades...I challenge you to a drinking contest!"
Sigyn, her only surviving sister-in-arm, sighed. "She's always like that. If she wanted, she'd commit murder alright but since we need all hands on deck and since it's common knowledge that Hela just won't die, that was the best she could do."
The drinking contest went on for hours on end, and poor Wong was tasked with refilling the shots. "Pointbreak, aren't you tired of having to deal with your siblings' antics?" Leyenar asked as Thor came in.
"Well, actually, I..." Thor began, but was cut short as Carol stormed in.
"Fellas, I received a report from Carol Corps Legionnaire #44159." said the captain as she pulled up a video screen.
A woman that looked exactly like Carol popped up on the screen, a fierce battle raging behind her. "This is Legionnaire #44159 calling the Avengers. I caught wind of a galactic resistance against Thanos, and I had the honor of fighting side-by-side with their strongest asset (for now), General Jarnsaxa, also known as the Mighty Thor."
Upon hearing his name slapped on another person, Thor went stiff. "Um, Pointbreak, what's the matter?" asked Leyenar.
"He's jealous." said Korg, who was lounging in a corner with Miek.
"Looks like we have to check for ourselves." said Leyenar, then exclaimed "Blathering blatherskite!"
Immediately, the Civil Warrior armor formed around her. "Wait, Len, wasn't the password "cheese"?" asked Rhodey.
"It's my voice that this baby responds to, amirite? So I took cues from a certain duck." said Leyenar, then snatched Thor's hand. "Mimi...um...I mean, Legionnaire #44159, where you at?"
"I am currently at the Loel cluster." said the Carol doppelganger.
"Grab your axe, Pointbreak, we're going on a little road trip." said Leyenar, and Thor summoned Stormbreaker just as she took his hand and let her wings out. "Ultron, engage hyper-warp!"
And in a flash, Leyenar and Thor were gone.
LATER...
"Over here." said Carol Corps Legionnaire #44159 as she led the two Avengers into the heat of battle. Fighter jets and motherships of all shapes and sizes were locked in combat with a Chitauri fleet. The two forces seemed to be evenly matched...save for one very familiar hammer, taking down leviathans and Chitauri fighters like flies. And Thor recognized that hammer all-too-well. "Mjol...Mjolnir? Mjolnir!" he called out.
And indeed, it was Mjolnir. She had cracks everywhere, but the Thunder God cound recognize her anywhere. "It's me, Thor!" he cried, then whistled for his trusty hammer. "Over here, girl! Mjolnir?"
As if she had heard her former owner, the hammer seemed to fly straight into his hand. "You're back!" Thor exclaimed, almost joyful.
...But then, Mjolnir stopped and flew in the opposite direction, ignoring her former owner's calling, into the hand of a blonde woman on an autopiloted chariot. The woman threw the hammer again, and this time, it split into maybe several dozen tiny pieces, taking down multiple Chitauri aircraft.
Dumbfounded, Thor let Leyenar guide him to the woman. "General Jarnsaxa, I presume?" he asked. "That's my hammer you got there. And that's my look. From what #44159 here told me, I heard you parade yourself around, as...the Mighty Thor. See, whoever you are, you've got some fancy explaining to do. Why don't you take off that mask and reveal yourself?"
The woman smiled, and willed her helmet away, to reveal a very familiar face. "Hi." she said.
"JANE?!" Thor asked incredulously.
Jarnsaxa, or rather, one Dr. Jane Foster, ignored her ex and went straight to Leyenar. "Leyenar Oh, right? Fancy seeing you here." she said.
"I'm getting rid of Oh soon, don't get too attached to it." said Leyenar, and the two shook hands.
Soon, the battle was over and the three were led to the main hall of the galactic resistance's headquarters. "Oh, General Jarnsaxa, you have returned. And pray tell, who are these people you brought with you?" said one sinister-looking man on a throne.
"Emperor Suran, this is Leyenar, the Director, and Thor Odinson, the original God Of Thunder." said Jane as she introduced the two warriors.
"I see." said Suran. "You may go now."
"So, what's the deal with that guy?" Thor asked.
"He's the leader of the resistance, and unfortunately, my boss." Jane grumped. "This I found out the third day, he's not fighting Thanos for the greater good, but because of petty jealousy. And you'll be appalled if you ever caught a glimpse of what he's doing to one-up that damn grape, with me being only the tip of the iceberg. My title of General? It's pretty much meaningless. He only got me into his army because I had this darn hammer."
"Another question, what brought you here? Why are you a Thor? And why the hell is Mjolnir all back in tip-top shape?" Leyenar asked.
"OK, so I was visiting New Asgard to take care of a...personal problem, and found Mjolnir. Erm, her pieces. But then, when I reached them, she...she came back to life. As if she was waiting for someone to wield her again. Thor, you never did come back for her after Ragnarok, did you?" Jane asked.
Thor swallowed. She was right—he did not have the time to get back to New Asgard and get his hammer back post-Ragnarok, and even then, he had thought she was done for.
The doctor-turned-general continued her story. "And when I opened my eyes again, I found myself looking like this. And since I turned out like this, I figured I'd lend a hand in fighting Thanos, so I just blasted off into space without much thought. That's when I met Suran's army, and I've spent many a week here since then."
"Wow." Leyenar exclaimed.
"Come along, I'll show you what's really going on here." Jane said as she led Thor and Leyenar into a dark corridor, stopping in front of a gigantic, tightly locked door. She muttered an override code, and the heavy door rumbled open. "Perks of being a four-star in a decadent court."
The walls beyond the door were lined with cells, each of them containing some kind of unholy human experiment, all of them snarling and growling at the three heroes. Thor tightened his grip on Stormbreaker, and Leyenar's heart began beating rapidly from rising fear.
At the end of the seemingly endless containment cells, there was a machine, an instrument of war. Hooked up to it was a little girl who was barely five. "The Designate." said Jane. "The being whose original destiny was to help evolve sentient beings to the next level of existence, but then Thanos came along and ruined everything. The destruction of her home planet led to her being taken in by Suran, and becoming nothing more than a battery. Phenomenal cosmic powers...shitty living condition."
The little girl slowly opened her eyes, and uttered a single word:"M̵̜̘̑̿͆̕ọ̶̡̫̼̐̑̒͝͠m̴͖̠̆̉͌̆̊?̷̙̬̝̰̄̿͆͠"
"Wait, she called you mom?" Thor asked.
"I'm the closest thing to a mother she'll ever have. I promised her that I'll take her out of this place someday, but right now, it seems unlikely. After learning of us, Suran blackmailed me into staying here, or else she'd be hurt more." Jane replied.
"Mom, who're they?" asked the girl.
"Oh, it's OK, they're friends." said Jane.
"Good thing I'm not being blackmailed by that nut job back in the throne room, because that means I can do this!" Leyenar exclaimed, and tried to unhook the girl from the machine, only to be hit with a barrage of memories. Memories that belonged to the girl. Fire, destruction, and so much pain.
CHA-SHNOOK!
"What?" Leyenar asked. A mechanical tentacle had shot out of the Civil Warrior armor's backside, partially damaging the weapon, and now everyone was staring at her.
"You...you experienced it too?" Jane asked.
"Yeah, it wasn't a pretty sight. Y'know, this armor I'm wearing, it's one-of-a-kind. It's the fictional invention to end all fictional inventions, crafted from all the best tech in the whole entire MARVEL multiverse and beyond, courtesy of the great Tony Stark and his lab partner, Shuri of Wakanda. Mr. Stark, that guy, he ran higgledy-piggledy all over Fandom Central, visiting every fictional universe imaginable to gather all the tech used in this suit, and a bit of Spiral Power from my favorite TV show." declared the director, and drew a variety of tools from her left hand. It took about three minutes to free the girl, and even less to free all of Suran's abominations. "Leave the door open, let that old bastard get a taste of his own medicine. Pointbreak, Janey, you're both coming with me."
With the girl in her arms, and two Thors holding on to her, Leyenar warped back to the Avengers Mansion.
In case anyone was wondering who that Bobby guy from the Steve segment was, he's Gay Joe Russo. Bobby is his canonical name.
The Natasha segment was partially based on the Powerpuff Girls episode "Bubblevicious".