Chapter 59

June 5th – 5th Day of Confinement

The days have dragged by…Kira still hasn't made a move and all I can do is sit here and watch them deteriorate. Ryuzaki has me on 'food and bathroom duty', no pun intended. So, I've been bringing everyone their food and escorting Misa to the bathroom. I've tried to talk to the Chief when I bring him his meals, but he just thanks me and eats silently. I always leave before I start crying.

Today's no different, everyone looks like hell, even Ryuk. He's been complaining that he needs an apple and that the symptoms have started which is probably why he's twisted his body…He never did tell me why he has this thing with apples, but maybe the symptoms are like a withdrawal from not having them…albeit exaggerated ones.

Ryuk sighs heavily and cranes his body back. "I can't take it anymore! I need an apple!" I feel sorta bad for him, he didn't ask for this and I'd give him an apple if I could but there's no way to tell him without blowing my cover. Imagine that, feeling pity for a God of Death…

"Just have to get through it, even if there's nothing to do…"

Is that Light's way of communicating with Ryuk? It would make sense…who else could he be talking to, thinking out loud maybe but to me that sounds like a response to Ryuk…

"Mr. Stalker…" I look up at Misa's monitor like I've done so many times before. "The video will be boring is all I'm doing is sitting here...if you bring me a change of clothes, I can do a lot of poses." I sigh and my eyes travel to the Chiefs monitor…he still won't talk to me.

"Chief Yagami," Ryuzaki's voice comes through the speaker and the Chief practically jumps up from his chair, startling me.

"What is it Ryuzaki?! What happened?! Is it good news?! Bad news?!"

Ryuzaki pauses a moment. "Um, no. I was going to tell you to try and relax…nothing will be accomplished by stressing yourself out. This could take a very long time, perhaps you should rest in a more comfortable place. We could move you into-"

The Chief jumps up at the camera, I jump back sending me and my chair rolling. "NO! Impossible! How could you even say that?! There's no place of Earth I could relax right now! No matter what happens, I'm not leaving here without my son!" He takes a breath and turns to sit back down, putting his head in his hands.

"I understand…" Ryuzaki sounds meek, like a scolded child.

"Oh my…" I shake my head as I pull myself back to the counter and for the next few hours, everyone's quiet.

. . .

Lunchtime finally rolls around and Watari brings the food cart in from the kitchen; which I have still yet to see. Today is curry and rice and Ryuzaki mentions that Misa will get to eat without her blindfold today. With three people in confinement it's been a bit of a chore to feed her blindfolded and give the others their food in a reasonable amount of time…that and now that Misa's memories of the Death Note are gone she's not really a threat…not that the other members of the task force know that yet…

I get up out of my rolley chair and stretch my arms above my head. Sitting in the chair all day kills my back. I sigh and snatch my earpiece off the counter. I hear Watari pour tea behind me as I put the earpiece in. I turn around and a yawn escapes me, Watari smiles and places a hand warmly on my shoulder as he passes by with his tea. I sigh again, not looking forward to seeing the Chief after his outburst earlier today. I can feel the awkwardness already…I guess though I'll just do his room last.

. . .

Light accepts his food graciously, remarking on how he always expects bread and water because he feels like a prisoner. I answer his small talk and attempts at sympathy with the least amount of words possible. I glance at Ryuk as I leave the room, feeling horrible for him that he can't quench his withdrawal with an apple, seeing as how he's twisted his body around and has begun to jump up and down a little.

Misa is ecstatic that she gets to eat without a blindfold and practically word vomits all over me. I guess I should have expected something like this seeing as how she's reverted to who she was before the Death Note, before she was a psycho murderer. She once again tells me how happy she is that I'm here, but how exhausted she is and how she wants a shower. It's nice to see her like this, but I'm not a fool, I know that behind the excitement and bravado the poor thing is now scared for life. I leave when she finally stops talking long enough to eat.

I stand in front of the Chiefs door anxiously, I know I have to go in there, but I want a minute to prepare myself. With a sigh I slap on my 'okay face' and hide away all my feelings. All the anger, the hurt, the confusion, the feelings left over from him deciding to go into confinement instead of helping us. It's not only a waste of time, but the stress could literally kill him…he's already had one heart attack…

I open the door, food tray in hand and look up at the camera as I enter. Ryuzaki is always watching and while that may sound super creepy, I find it reassuring. The Chief is sitting in a metal folding chair in his cell facing the wall away from me, I can only see his profile. He knows I'm here and can see me in his peripheral but doesn't say anything. My heart clenches and I wish I could help him, but he doesn't want anything to do with me…or at least that's how it feels…like, because I believe his son is Kira, he won't talk to me. I sigh as I put the tray on the floor and slide it under the bars through the food slot as usual then turn to leave.

"Suzuki…" I turn back around slowly my heart pounding.

"Yeah, Chief?" His head hangs low, but he turns to look at me.

"About earlier…I want to apologize for my sudden outburst…I'm ashamed to say I let my anger get the better of me and I'm sorry you had to witness that…I can tell that it's bothering you…"

What? Did not see that coming…

I stand there, dumbfounded for a second. "Um…it's no big, Chief…to be honest you just startled me a bit." I laugh uneasily as I turn fully to face him, arms folding protectively across my body. "Didn't know you had it in ya to yell like that." Slowly a smile creeps onto his face. "I bet Light and Sayu made you yell like that once and then never did anything bad ever again, turned into perfect angels." He chuckles lightly and the tension in the room dissipates, along with some of my anxiety.

"The way Light behaves you'd think that, but Sayu still knows how to push our buttons." His smile turns genuine as he thinks about his kids, then fades to melancholy. "That's why I can't believe my son is capable of such heinous acts…" He trails off as if he can't find words for his reasoning.

I grab the other metal folding chair from the wall and bring it to sit in front of the cell bars as the Chief actually gets up to get his food. I sit as he picks it up and brings it to his chair, moving it slightly so he's facing me instead of the wall.

"Just imagine, Suzuki…you watch something you created grow for 17 years then all of a sudden someone comes along and tells you that thing is evil and a murderer and the consequences of such evil is death…You've seen what it's begun to do to me, but can you imagine Sachiko's reaction? Her own son, a monster…I admit that I'm not handling this very well, but I can promise you she'd handle it worse…and Sayu…if anyone found out that her brother was a murderer, her life would never be the same…so you can see why I'm fighting this so hard…If what you and Ryuzaki say is true…then my family…will break…" He sighs as he looks down at his food, his fork resting loosely in his hand. I feel terrible…

I'm sorry Chief, but if you could see what I see…you might believe us.

"Yeah…I understand…I wish there was some way I could help…" He takes a small bite and chews it thoughtfully. He looks back up at me after he swallows.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I only meant for you to understand where I'm coming from." I nod as I stand.

"Yeah I totally understand Chief…but I got some work to get back to…check on Misa and Light…so I'll leave you to your food." He nods.

"Thank you. Suzuki…" I stiffen in reflex of impending bad news.

"Yes?"

"The best way for you to help me is by continuing to do your job…whatever conclusion we come to I'll have to accept eventually so there's no use beating yourself up about it. You're an excellent agent and I wouldn't want anyone else on this case. So please…stop worrying and try to relax." He smiles like a proud parent and I push my hair behind my ear nervously.

How can I relax when you've stuck yourself in here and I know the outcome…your son is Kira…and it's only a matter of time before we prove it.

I put my 'okay' face back on and nod. "I'll try Sir." His smile gets wider.

"That's my girl, now go on and get back to it. I should eat this before it gets cold. Watari's cooking is amazing but I prefer it warm."

Heart heavy with worry I manage a small smile and leave the Chief to his food.