Trust the Force Harry!

by fvdv123

No! This is not a Cross-over! An old guy died and took Tom's place in Harry's scar. Now he has to struggle to let Harry survive. It starts at the end of the fifth year, and we don't know where it will end... I doubt this story will get a Harem, but we will try for it anyway. My mates Garry Stu and Mr. Cringe are here as well.

2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Did you know dying to be a Self Insert is hard? You can't die the boring way, nobody want's to read that, too much drama and gore scares them off too… Dying funny? How do you do that? Meh, I'll start my stories with it anyway, for free even.

Previous:

My name?

My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Stay safe young Padawan, may the Force be with you.

2 The train ride home…

Al morning Harry pondered on my questions, especially on the way I put the blame of all his hardships at the Dursleys on the headmaster.

The line: Dumbledore had Mrs. Figs watching you all those years, he knew about the cupboard and beatings you got. Why did he allow that? Kept spinning through his mind, why did Dumbledore allow that?

He recalled Dumbledore saying: "I explained it to your aunt with a letter I left with you on her doorstep." So he didn't even talk to his aunt, just a letter with hey, your sister the witch got killed, and here is her son.

Harry tried to imagine what he would do if he was in Dumbledore's place, would he drop a baby with a letter at someone's doorstep? Even when he knows they hate the baby's parents? Parents that are supposed to be in your Order of the Phoenix and died fighting your war?

He said Voldemort could not touch him there… Voldemort was a bloody ghost for more than ten years! The house was protected against Voldemort, but not against the rest of the country. He was not protected from his relatives… he knew he was going to be treated badly!

Xxxxx

I witnessed Harry getting his own conclusions, Dumbledore's actions? I blame J.K. Rowling for it. She wrote it as a children's story, so the boy had to be some kind of male Cinderella, instead of an evil stepmother he got an evil aunt.

The MC needs to be pitied and overcome hardships to be likable… I am in the bloody books right now? Is this Hell? You cheated on your wife! Ten years as Harry fucking Potter? Hey! I never cheated on my wife! Alright! I dreamed about it, fantasized about it, but that puts everyone's husband in Hell.

No ladies! No comments on that or did you forget Brad fucking Pit? I remembered my wife drooling when she watched one of his movies… agreed, Angela Jolie was a marvelous eye candy too. Who are the hotties today? Meh who cares, I kicked my bucket so no more drooling.

Focus on the boy ass hole… now I am cursing myself? This must be Hell after all.

Now Harry is wondering if he is going to tell his friends about his mysterious pen-pall.

WTF? He doesn't know who Obi-Wan-Kenobi is? Or what a Padawan is? Sacrilegious! He doesn't know about the Force!

I searched the boy's memory, fuck! He never went to see the movie, worse, he never saw a movie at all. When the Dursleys watched movies on TV, the moment it was about magic they changed the channel. Dudley had some games about Star Wars, but Harry wasn't allowed to play with them.

Crap, this sucks, I thought claiming to be a Jedi Ghost he will follow me like a lost puppy as he does with Dumbledore or his friends right now.

I just have the teach him the way of the Force, if the Jedi way does not work then I'll go full Sith on his ass… That did not sound ok, I better rephrase it: I will guide the new Padawan on his journey to the Force.

Yep, much better, even I would believe my bullshit.

Xxxxx

At breakfast, Harry still was undecided about telling his friends about Obi-Wan-Kenobi, my warnings about Hermione and Ron were still on his mind, he remembered Hermione rushing to McGonagall about his Firebolt, and Ron having a tantrum over Eternal Glory and 1000 galleons price money. The comment they are pawns too, lingered in his head, more so, who's pawns are they?

He looked at the Hufflepuff table and spotted Susan Bones talking to Hannah Abbot. Both pretty girls, they were members of the DA, Susan was more motivated than Hannah about it if he remembered it correctly.

I noticed the rack on Susan Bones… mighty impressive, and at sixteen years old, there was still room for growth. No Comments! I already told you I never cheated on my wife! I am in a bloody teenager's body, and those hormones are doing a number on me, I have yet to learn to disconnect from that. I am feeling every damn emotion of the boy, and those are all over the place.

No, I am not going to push the boy in any direction with my mind, that is all kinds of creepy, letters will do just fine.

Xxxxx

Hermione must have seen someone die in the Ministry, she gasped when she spotted the Testrals before the carriages. She glanced at Harry, he only shrugged: "Told you so."

Luna was behind them and asked Hermione: "Now you believe in Crumpled Horned snorkacks? Daddy and I are going to Sweden to look for them."

After they boarded the carriage Hermione whined: "Luna, there is no mention of them in any book. I searched for it."

Harry was amused and teased Hermione: "Yet, Hermione, there is no mention in any book Yet. The moment those Snorkacks are discovered, they will appear in books. For example, the animals in the American continents before Columbus sailed over there. As a matter of fact, there is still a lot of wildlife that is undocumented there in the Jungles of South America."

Luna's eyes shined: "South America you say, Harry? I have to tell Daddy about it."

Ron put his five knuts in the conversation and said: "I heard the wizards from there are nasty, Castelobruxo is known for its nature spells and poisons."

Neville and Ginny were both following the conversation with a smile on their face, they felt it was almost back to normal.

Xxxxx

In the train compartment Harry took a piece of parchment and wrote a few lines on it, he let Hedwig out of her cage and gave the letter to her: "To Olivander, Hedwig, stay in Diagon Alley until I am in London."

Puzzled, Hermione asked: "Why are you sending a letter to Olivander Harry? Is there something wrong with your wand?"

Harry answered: "No not with my wand, but these last days I have been thinking. Voldemort wanted to know about the prophecy, to hear the exact words. Now that prophecy is destroyed, he will look for answers somewhere else. At the graveyard, our wands connected, and my wand overpowered his wand.

Olivander is the man that created both wands, so Voldemort will surely pay him a visit, maybe even abduct him."

Ron nodded: "That is possible, You-know-who is notorious for being a bad loser and getting revenge in every possible way."

Neville softly said: "Then the six of us have big targets on us, the events in the Ministry thwarted a lot of his plans I guess."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and made a decision: "These last days I have been in the Room of Requirement and found a lot of useful spells. First of all the detection spells, here let me demonstrate it on myself."

Harry cast the spells, and he lit up with all kinds of colors, he removed the brown ones, transferred it to a coursebook, and put a silencing spell on it.

"The brown-colored spells are listening charms, so someone was listening to everything I say. Let me cast it on you all too."

Only Hermione got a listening spell on her, Neville commented: "We are examined at home Harry, it is not unusual for students to put prank spells or mild hexes on others. If Gran found a listening spell on me she would go directly to the DMLE to record the magic signature on that Spell."

Ginny said: "That is the only time Dad is strict with us. When we come home he is checking us for spells and hexes. The last time the Twins got paddled was when Dad noticed they put a permanent hex on me."

Hermione asked: "I have to tell the DMLE?"

Neville shook his head: "No, Harry, you better remove it permanently. Hermione, as a muggleborn you have very few rights in our community, some of those purebloods will say that you should be glad someone is even willing to put a listening spell on you."

"Done it, Neville, well everyone, as you have seen it, the brown are listening spells, red ones are tracking spells, yellow are mind-altering spells. For potions, pink are love potions, green is nutrition potions; from yellow to red are all harmful potions, brown to black are deadly poisons.

That brings me to seven trackers, two listening spells, two mind-altering spells, I suspect an obliviate or spells that make me more obedient. I had a loyalty potion on me two days ago but it is gone now, I had a flushing potion to get rid of it and the rest. You still have yours, Hermione, it is still strong on you. I have more flushing potions because Winky said it is important to have them in stock. Take it at home, close to a toilet."

Ah! Harry mentioned Winky in front of Hermione, where is my pop-corn?

"Winky? Harry James Potter! Did you enslave Winky? Set her free immediately! How could you!"

Dobby popped in and shouted: "No! Evil Grangy needs to leave my Winky alone! Why does evil Grangy wants to kill House Elves? Master Harry Sir, save my Winky from the Evil one."

Harry sighed: "Hermione, I bonded Dobby and Winky to House Potter. Winky was dying, without a bond, they wither away and slowly die. Setting them free is a death sentence for them."

Neville added: "Don't compare them with slaves Hermione, they need the magic from wizards to stay alive. I am surprised you did not read a book about them."

Five minutes later Dobby popped away after Hermione apologized to him and Winky. I am still cursing at my lack of popcorn while watching the show.

Harry addressed the next topic: "Luna? Your dad has a printing press, can I hire its use to print some fliers? I want to expose Voldemort as a son of a squib and a muggle, even tell them he killed his own family."

Luna looked at Harry dreamily: "Sure Harry, dad does that sometimes, but you have to hurry, next week we leave for Sweden… or South America, we did not include it in our search, I wonder what new creatures we will discover, maybe a subspecies of the Blubbering Humdinger, or a new kind of Heliopath."

It is fun to see Hermione twitch her eyebrows and clamp her hands to keep her comments inside. Maybe the flushing potion will do some good. She helped Harry with the text, while Ginny fetched Collin Creepy to take the picture of the anagram, a few spells later Luna had the text and picture for the flier.

Harry said: "Luna, those fliers cant be traced to your Family, or Voldemort will come after you."

Luna smiled: "Daddy has his ways Harry, don't worry about it. This information is almost as important as the rotfang conspiracy of the ministry."

"Thank you, Luna, send me the bill when it is done. Neville? Can you ask your Gran some questions? The day after Voldemort killed my parents Dumbledore dropped me off at my aunt's. Why did your mum not take me in? She is my Godmother and your family was attacked four or five days later. And can you ask if my family has allies? Why wasn't I told of my family? I found out I am the Heir Primary to House Potter, but nobody taught me one thing for it."

Ron choffed: "You are rich, isn't that enough?"

Harry sighed: "No Ron, it is not enough, don't you care about what is happening in your family? I care about mine, and everyone is keeping it from me."

Harry took the book Duties of the Heir Primaryby Willyburt Dagworth-Granger, handed it to Hermione, and said: "Chapter 17. A whole chapter about orphans from wizarding families. Page 236 clearly states the laws about the Primary Heir if he is orphaned and how he must be raised and educated to take his position when he is emancipated. Well, I spend years with my relatives without one visit from my magical guardian or the Lords of my Allies, if I have Allies at all."

Ron got uncomfortable, mumbled something about visiting his classmates, and left. Ginny left too, when the compartment got too silent, Hermione reading the rules, and Neville sitting next to her pointing out the important parts of the rules. Luna just hummed, fantasizing about South America.

Harry handed Hermione the other books I mentioned, Clearing The Mind and Protecting It; and Arresting procedures, Interrogating, and Preparing Suspects for trial. To point the crimes of Snape and Dumbledore out to Hermione.

An hour later Hermione and Neville were fuming, Hermione could not believe the treason of her hero: "He could have just said a few lines instead of sending us both back in time! Two years to get Sirius a trial! He could even do it at the ICW! Why?"

Harry shrugged: "I can only think of one thing, to keep me at the Dursleys, that is not all Hermione, look at my next spell."

Harry cast the spell and explained: "I found a rare book, this is my magic, blocked for 50%, this indicates a Blood binding, to the Privet drive, leeching on my Magic, and this is a Mail Block, it redirects my mail to somewhere else. Dumbledore said he set those wards at my relatives, I suspect he did the two others as well. I even have the spells to remove them."

Neville paled: "Harry? Can you cast that spell on me too?"

Behold! Neville the almost squib is at 50% too. Luna was fine, so was Hermione. Harry offered: "I can remove that block if you want Neville, I know the spell for it. I need to keep mine to prove it to the Goblins."

Suspicious, Hermione asked: "How did you find this all out, Harry? How did you know how and where to look?"

Harry shrugged: "I got letters from a friend Hermione, those letters told me what to look for and who is responsible for the bad things in my life. So far he is 100% correct. The letters suggested some other things I should do on the train, but I am not certain about that."

"Let me read those letters, Harry! They can be used to trick you!"

"That is the point, Hermione, he suggested that I let you read those, but left the decision to do so to me. You, on the other hand, did not ask but demanded to read them, no Harry can I read those please? Or what did those letters say? I can tell you what it wrote about you and Ron. You both are complete opposites, Ron is lazy and is following his own agenda, and you are a zealot about rules and regulations, and trust the professors blindly.

I can tell you his name though, he is called Obi-Wan-Kenobi, do you know what the Force is?"

Stupid brat! Why are you spilling my secrets? Now she will question the letters even more.

Yep, she exploded: "Obi-Wan? The Force? Are you telling me a dead Jedi is writing to you? It is even not real! It comes from the Star Wars Trilogy, Obi-Wan-Kenobi is a character from the first movie."

Luna asked: "They have Wars in the Stars? I have to tell daddy. What is the name of that movie Hermione?"

Still glaring at Harry Hermione answered: "Star Wars, Episode four A New Hope."

Luna glanced at Hermione: "No silly, I asked the name of the first movie, not the fourth, and doesn't a Trilogy only have three of those episodes?"

Hermione closed her eyes: "The first movie starts with episode four. That movie was a very big success millions of people have watched it, I am surprised Harry did not hear of it."

Neville asked confused: "What happened with the first episodes? Did nobody want to read those?"

Hermione felt a headache coming up: "Movies are plays, stories they show in theaters on a big screen. You can compare it with a big painting that shows a story for two hours. I don't exactly know why the story starts at the fourth episode, last I heard they are planning to create the first episode."

Luna asked: "What is the point of that? Everyone knows the outcome when they saw the first movie painting, that is the fourth episode. It is like reading a book from the end to the beginning, it takes all the fun away. Will people want to see those episode One movie paintings?"

Neville sighed: "I don't understand the muggle habits, they are so strange."

Hermione was speechless, muggles are strange? That is coming from wizards that dress like a friar from three centuries ago, using fireplaces to travel, and communicate by using owls to send letters!

Harry scarped his throat: "We are getting sidetracked people, just accept that the man who made those movies has a strange sense of humor. I am talking about the next actions the letter suggested. It advised me to contact Susan Bones and go to her home. Her aunt is Madam Bones, I met her at my hearing last year, she is the head of the DMLE. Obi-Wan-Kenobi said to give her my statement of what happened to me."

Neville nodded: "That is actually a good idea, now that it is proved Dumbledore is abusing his position and repressing you, she is powerful enough to go against him. How do you plan on asking her?"

Harry blushed: "I don't know, Obi-Wan-Kenobi suggested pretending to ask her out, but I never did that, Cho somehow happened, and Parvati at the Yule ball… I don't know, all I know both were complete disasters."

Hermione rolled her eyes: "The letter said to pretend to ask her out, instead asking to speak with your aunt. Just ask her to speak with her privately."

Hmm, Hermione Granger, the Looove Doctor MD, she is a specialist with… one date? But, I agree, she landed Krum at the dance, and she was rewarded with a dip in the Black Lake for it.

Luna commented: "Go ask her Harry, maybe she will let you have sex with her at home."

"LUNA! A lady doesn't say things like that!"

"But Hermione, I am not a Lady yet, I am only the Heiress Primary of House Lovegood, and daddy told me that when a boy enters my room they want to have sex with me. Harry? Do you want to come into my room and have sex?"

"Hmm… Hmm… I think it doesn't work that way, Luna. Neville?"

Neville got the deer in the headlight look: "What do I know about that Harry? Gran won't let girls sleepover at our home. What do muggles do in that situation?"

"Honestly? I don't know, aunt Petunia barely endures my presence, she would throw a tantrum if a girl sleeps… no, I can't even imagine the rest. Hermione? Would your parents allow a boy in your room?"

Luna added: "And have sex with him?"

"LUNA! Stop saying SEX! It is not a proper thing to say."

Oh! Hermione, that is asking for it, I saw Luna's eyes sparkle.

"OK, then I call it Shagging, or do you prefer Fucking? Boning? Oh, Harry are you going to bone Susan Bones? You are right Hermione, this is so much better."

"Luna! Where did you hear all those expressions?"

On the seventh floor in the North Corridor, at the painting of Derrick the Dirty and Shameless Sandra, you have to say the passphrase *Show the facts of life*. I found it in mum's notebook. They did a show and tell."

I could tell Luna was having fun with Hermione, although Harry and Neville wanted to be somewhere else right now too.

Hermione gave up and looked at Harry: "It is a good idea to ask Susan to meet with her aunt, how you do that is up to you Harry."

Harry sighed: "Alright, see you later."

Xxxxx

Harry looked for Susan, in passing he saw Ginny sitting on Dean Thomas's lap, in another compartment he heard Ron boasting how he saved Harry Potter from a hundred death eaters to some second years. Shaking his head he passed compartments until he saw Susan Bones in a compartment with Hannah Abbot and the Patil sisters, goody, Lav-Lav is in here too.

Harry gathered his Griffindor courage and knocked on the door. Hannah opened the door: "Harry? Please come in."

Harry swallowed: "Hi Hannah, I was wondering if I could speak with Susan in private?"

Hah! In front of the two worst gossipers of his year! Very smooth Padawan!

Blushing red hot, Susan stood up and went outside, she looked around and noticed all the curious faces: "Let's go find an empty compartment, Harry."

"Oh, good idea, I passed one three doors back."

When the doors were locked and privacy spells were up, Harry even closed the blinds of the hallway windows, making Susan imagine several scenarios, including some R18 ones.

Harry turned to Susan and said: "Susan, I need your help with something."

Susan nervously looked at Harry's crotch and said: "I never did something like that Harry, I wouldn't know how to start."

Puzzled Harry said: "I haven't asked you yet. What are you talking about?"

Susan recuperated: "Oh, what do you want to ask?"

Harry blurted out: "Can I stay at your place for a few days?"

Smooth, very smooth, I am out of imaginary popcorn, but conjured a new imaginary bag of it. This is great stuff.

Susan blew a fuse: "I am not that kind of woman Potter! The first man that will stay in my room will be my bloody husband!"

Harry raised his hands and tried to save the furniture before Susan burned it down: "No no, that came out wrong, I am sorry Susan, but I need to speak with your aunt without interference from the headmaster."

Susan felt like a bucket of cold water was dropped on her: "You called me out, dragged me into an empty compartment, even closed the blinds just to ask to meet my aunt? You could have asked me that in front of the others, they are part of the DA too, and can keep secrets."

Harry looked at Susan: "Lavender and Parvati can keep secrets? Since when?"

"You have a point. Why do you want to speak to my aunt Harry? Is it about the events in Ministry?"

"Not only that Susan, but it is also about my whole life, did you know I have a mail block on me? I never received one letter before the Hogwarts letter. Someone pointed out to me that people that have sent me letters consider me a snob or something like a Malfoy. There are several other things wrong with me, things Madam Bones need to know."

Susan sat down, partly disappointed, partly relieved: "So you want to talk to aunty in secret, and you need me to smuggle you in?"

"Yes please, you can ask me any favor you want."

"I have to think about that favor Harry, what do I tell the girls when I get back? After all, they saw us enter an empty compartment and close the blinds. They will never believe it was to talk about aunts, we better synchronize our story."

"I haven't a clue Susan, I have no experience of this, you can ask Parvati about the Yule Dance. Can you think of something?"

Susan was in a dilemma, Hannah knew about the crush she developed on Harry during the DA sessions, telling her nothing happened or worse, telling her he asked about her aunt instead of her… Susan took a chance: "Can we tell them you asked me on a date this summer? Say next week?"

Relieved, Harry sighed, that was the thing Obi-Wan-Kenobi suggested: "That is fine with me Susan, next weekend? Saturday at 10?"

"That is perfect Harry, although you can't stay overnight at my place, it is not proper, I will talk to my aunt and send you a letter."

"Susan, my mail is monitored, can you call my house elf Winky? And maybe let her take me there?"

"That is fine, now, you have to escort me back and sit at least a half hour with me before you leave. And when you leave, you have to give me a kiss on my cheek."

Harry stammered: "Kiss… you?"

Susan blushed but said firmly: "You asked me for a date in a closed compartment, those girls will think we did a lot more than kissing, so when you leave, one kiss on my cheek."

Go, girl! What do you know, the Puff has more courage than the Lion. Maybe the kid gets some this summer… Bloody fuck no! I have to find a way to disconnect myself from his senses. I am not in the mood to witness clumsy teenagers stumbling through the facts of life. Preferably before his date.

Harry opened the blinds, spotting Susan's friends rush back inside their compartment, with a sigh he turned to Susan: "This is not going to be easy is it?"

Susan giggled: "You faced death eaters Harry, handling us girls should be a piece of cake."

She took his hand and dragged him along. Susan put Harry between Hannah and her, still holding his hand. Proudly she announced: "We have a date next Saturday."

Hannah sheered: "I won the bet! I won the bet!"

Xxxxx

A half-hour later Harry got back in his compartment, Neville grinned: "Congratulations are in order Harry? You spend two hours with Susan Bones in a closed compartment, and an hour sitting next to her with her friends."

Luna commented dryly: "He must have used a time-turner because he left only an hour ago. Did you bone Bones Harry? Was it as good for her as it was for you?"

"LUNA!"

"Yes, Hermione? Are you curious too? Derrick the Dirty and Shameless Sandra did some strange things in their painting, I am not certain it is possible in real life."

Neville interrupted the comedy show: "Stop teasing Hermione, Luna, you are driving her crazy."

Luna smiled dreamily: "The world needs more crazy, Heir Longbottom, Hermione, you really need to take that flushing potion, I think it is preventing you from having fun."

Harry reported: "I can't stay at Susan's place, but I have another place in mind, sorry Hermione, until you learned Occlumency I can't tell you where. I need you to divert the attention at the station for a minute."

Hermione nodded: "We will, Harry, stay in touch."

Xxxxx

At the station, Harry closed the blinds, and called: "Dobby, Winky, Kreacher! Come here."

Dobby and Winky popped in right away, Kreacher after half a minute muttering "Kreacher will not listen" over and over.

Harry gathered his thoughts and started his orders: "Kreacher, meet Dobby and Winky. Take my luggage along with Winky to Grimmauld place, and close all access to the house except for yourself, me, Dobby, and Winky. You are forbidden to speak, contact, or in any way communicate with others than me and my other elves. Is that understood?"

Kreacher fought my order for seconds before he caved in: "Kreacher must obey filthy half-blood traitor… for now."

"Winky? Keep an eye on Kreacher, can you give me the key to my vault, please? Dobby, take me to Gringotts."