Today marked one week since that wheelbarrow arrived at her doorstep, and Karma knew Levi wouldn't last another. He might not even last the night.

Her gut felt like a strangled stress toy.

Jean's presence only made matters worse. His confession the day before, which they'd silently agreed to ignore, was like a neon sign hanging between them. Sometimes their hands brushed and Jean muttered an apology. Sometimes they made quick eye contact.

They'd been peeling off Levi's old bandages when Jean spoke for the first time in hours. "The hell is this clear stuff?" He held up a slimy strip of fabric. Karma was bent over, snipping the stitches of the closed wounds on Levi's chest.

"I don't know."

"It's not blood, so that's gotta be good right?"

Karma just bobbed her shoulders.

"Probably just whiskey." When Karma didn't respond, Jean probed on. "It still stinks in here. We could try burning some incense."

"Sure."

"I read somewhere that sage can cleanse bad vibes and all that voodoo—I'm sure the tension in here isn't helping his healing."

"Mhmm."

"Karma, are you even listening? Are we just gonna avoid talking about what happened forever?"

"Yes, Jean. We are."

"Well, I don't want to."

"Fine. Talk all you want, but I'm not contributing."

"Will you at least listen?"

Karma shoved a sigh from her lungs and flicked her gaze up at him.

"Good," he said. "Look, I can forgive the fact that 'Levi' is just 'Evil' rearranged, but I can't forgive what this bastard is doing to you. You're a wreck, Karma. You've got this worried look glued to your face and I swear I've seen gray hairs. I'm not asking you to love me back—I'm just asking you to protect your heart. Take care of yourself. If he dies, I refuse to lose you too."

Karma kept her head bent.

"We're done now. You can go home," she said, voice thick. Tears dripped onto crumpled bandages.

"What? We still have to wrap his legs. Don't you want help—"

"Please, Jean. Just go."

"Will you want me back tomorrow?"

"I don't know."

"Okay." And he left. But he wasn't gone long.

Jean peeked through the guest room door when the yellow-curtained windows were black with speckled lights. Karma was slumped over the edge of Levi's bed, asleep in her folded arms. She was a much more active sleeper than Levi—she snored softly and her head lolled from cheek to cheek.

"Karma." Jean shook her elbow. She flipped cheeks and muttered something. Jean rolled his shoulders. "Alright, we'll do this the hard way."

He scooped Karma up, her knees and neck flopped over his forearms. He nudged the creaky door open with his hip. Her eyes blinked halfway open.

"Jean, what are you doing?"

"I figured you wouldn't listen to me, and someone's gotta take care of you."

"I can take care of me."

"And when was the last time you slept in your actual bed?"

"Point taken."

The bedroom door opened with a similar creak. A twin with a patchy quilt was nestled between an overflowing bookshelf and a nightstand. Jean laid Karma down and settled her under the covers.

"I was fine in my chair." Karma yawned. "What if Levi wakes up?"

"Don't worry about that." Jean rifled through her dresser and gathered what he hoped was a clean pair of cotton slacks and a pink, drawstring blouse. He felt a little weird pulling out a bra and underwear. He folded the clothes at the foot of the bed. "I'll keep watch tonight."

"Psh, you'll just smother him in his sleep."

"Whatever, just go to bed. And don't even think about coming anywhere near me and Levi until you've had a nice hot shower—got it?"

"Yes, mom."

His tone softened. "And whatever happens tomorrow…just promise me you'll stay strong, okay? We still have a lot of fighting ahead."

He caught a broken, "Okay."

Jean left and returned with a glass of tap-water, but Karma was already crashed asleep. He eased the cup on the nightstand without a sound.

Before he closed the door, he studied her slow breathing. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. Her features were relaxed and beautiful. He could picture himself counting her breaths, losing track of time.

Maybe this is why she refused to leave Levi's side.

For the first time in a week, Karma felt refreshed.

She stretched her arms over her head and rolled her ankles. She sudsed her body with a bar of lavender soap and let the hot water melt down her back. She even treated herself to a sugar scrub and razor shave. Then, twisting her wet hair into its typical side-braid, Karma admired how surprisingly decent and comfortable Jean's outfit choice was.

He was right—she needed this.

She walked to the guest room door and paused. Did Levi survive the night? Would she enter only to find his still and stiff body beneath the crinkled cream sheets?

She clenched the doorknob. No matter what was waiting beyond that door, Jean had made her promise to stay strong.

Karma fought to dam the torrent of dread as she poked her head inside. The boulder in her stomach lifted—Levi was still breathing. He'd lasted the night. She pried her fingers off the knob, imagining her vise had dented the brass like a soda can.

Sunlight was spilling across the floor to the opposite wall. It had to be well-past noon.

"Good morning, sunshine." Jean was in her seat, thumb pinched halfway through a coffee-stained novel.

"Wow, I didn't know you could read."

"You're hilarious. I kept your seat warm for you."

"Anything happen while I was gone?"

"Nope. He's just been doing a lot of this." He waved a hand over Levi.

The relief of Levi's breathing had settled her heavy stomach, but ice crystals of dread were crackling in the boulder's place. She wasn't blind to his declining condition. How could she be? Despite the week of rest and nursing, he'd looked better crumpled in the wheelbarrow. His eyes were sunken and purple. His cheeks hollow.

Jean studied his shoelaces as he voiced the unspoken conclusion she'd reached, "But, uh…today might be the day."

Karma nodded and clamped her quivering lip. Jean couldn't stomach watching her fall apart for the millionth time, so he grasped at a new subject. "I did, however, find this interesting book on your nightstand. Smuttier than I expected."

The distraction worked—Karma's face snapped to horror at the speed of a mousetrap.

"What? Give me that." She snatched the book out of his hands. She fanned through the pages with darting eyes. "Whatever. This one's totally clean."

"So you are hiding smut somewhere."

"Oh, please."

"That wasn't a 'no.'"

"If I were hiding it, you'd never find it."

"That won't stop me from looking."

"Do your worst, horseface."

The insult rebounded—Jean looked smug. "Keep calling me that and I'm reviving shortcake."

"Shortcake?" When the hazy memory of that night in the dining hall defogged, Karma's eyes widened. "Wow, I feel old. How'd that start, again?"

"You supposedly didn't have a name."

"Ah, I probably thought you were hitting on me."

"Oh, I was definitely hitting on you."

"Good on past Karma for shutting you down then."

"Hate to say it, but it kinda just made me like you more."

The reminder of his feelings was a fingernail digging into a healing wound. Karma's face flattened.

"Hey, don't get all mopey. It's not your fault that I like you," Jean said, leaning over his knees.

"But you don't just like me."

Jean slumped back. He toed at the bed skirt. "Yeah." He stretched his neck. "I get it though. Levi's a pretty great guy."

"So are you, Jean."

"Good, that's what I was hoping you'd say."

Karma kicked the leg of his chair, making Jean half-smile.

But when his eyes fell back on Levi, he puffed his cheeks. "Bastard doesn't know how lucky he is."

"He's got a catheter and like two hundred stitches," Karma said.

"Small price to pay for your heart, shortcake." Jean pushed off his knees to stand and gestured to the seat. "He's all yours. Probably outta say your goodbyes while you can."

But Karma didn't sit. She grabbed Jean's sleeve as he passed, tethering him in place. "You'd trade places with him? Is that what you're saying?"

"Come on, Karma. Just sit down. I'll get us some breakfast."

"No. Tell me right now."

"It's impossible anyway—"

"Jean."

"I mean, yeah. I think I would."

"'Today might be the day.' 'Say your goodbyes'—you'd be alright with dying?"

"God, Karma, can we just drop this?"

"Why? I thought this was the only thing that mattered at the end of the world?"

"Just yesterday you said this topic was off limits."

"I'm allowed to change my mind."

"You're right. I wish you would."

"It's not that easy, Jean."

"Oh, I know. You think I want to be in love with someone who doesn't love me back?"

Karma dropped his sleeve. "I never said I didn't love you back." She watched his feet, but they didn't move.

The wall clock ticked above their heads, stretching the silent seconds. Karma could sense the sun crawling across the floor like a looming presence over her shoulder. Her breathing seemed loud.

"Do you?" Jean finally said. Karma scratched her wrist.

"I might."

He grasped her cheeks and kissed her.

Karma told herself to pull away—she wouldn't be caught dead kissing Jean—but his kiss was like life-saving mouth-to-mouth. Breathing him in soothed her starving lungs. Clinging to his collar kept her from drifting out to sea. Moving her lips with his cast a silent SOS.

Her cheeks were wet. The kiss tasted like saltwater.

She needed him. He couldn't pull away—she wouldn't let him. She clung tighter and kissed harder, but he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her off her tiptoes.

"Karma." Jean dried her cheeks with the cuff of his sleeve. "Whatever love you might have for me, I swear I won't waste it."

Karma's saliva was too salty and thick to respond.

"Sit down. I'll get us some breakfast." He guided her into the chair. After a week of bedside tending, it had molded into her shape like a well-worn pair of shoes. She heard the door creak to a close.

Then it was just her and Levi.

Even with the sponge baths and fresh bandages, the reek of whisky was sharp in her nose. A quip touched her tongue: When you wake up, Captain, you need a proper bath. She tried to say it, but the words died in a thick sob. She knew there was no longer a "when" because Jean was right. Today was the day.

Maybe if she never said goodbye, he'd stay asleep forever, waiting for her final words.

But she'd learned better than to hope.

Karma grasped his hand, thumbing the now-familiar gaps of his first two fingers. She found her voice amongst the hiccuping sobs and managed to say, "I love you, Captain." She wiped her nose with her sleeve and blinked the last of her tears.

She could do this. She could be strong. "But…I'm ready to say goodbye."

His breathing shifted. She'd heard about the 'death rattle.' She pressed her lips, dimpling her chin, waiting for his chest to still. She could feel the weak pulse on his wrist suddenly quicken, the heart's dying effort to stay alive.

How fortunate that he would wait for her final goodbye before passing on. Maybe he had some say in the timing.

She watched his last, deep breath and waited for the slow exhale. But it came as a series of weak coughs. His eyelids rolled. His lashes fluttered.

"Fuck." Captain Levi tried to balance on a weak elbow, but fell back against the pillows with a groan.

Karma stared, mouth dangling like a hypnosis chain, body stiff like she was miming a statue. Then panic and adrenaline snapped her system into action. She sprinted to the nearest cabinet and snatched a strange assortment of medicines and herbs.

Then she was clinking a spoon madly in a glass, stirring a reeking concoction.

"Drink." She held the sickly brown-yellow drink to Levi's lips once she'd helped him sit up. His nostrils recoiled.

"The hell is this?"

"Shut up and drink it."

She plugged Levi's nose and tilted the rim against his mouth. It was chunky and putrid. After two swallows, he choked back up a slimy mouthful. He wiped a bandaged wrist against his mouth. It fell back to his side, stained brown.

"Karma, this is shit."

"Too bad. You're drinking all of it."

A few wet coughs and profanities later and she'd shoved the rest down his throat until all that was left was a watery brown ring at the bottom of the glass. She closed his fists around a stack of crackers and a glass of tepid water.

"Eat slowly or else your stomach will reject it," she said.

"Didn't stop you from force-feeding me vomit. The hell was in that?" Levi snapped a cracker in half.

"Whiskey for pain, sage and garlic for infection, and black tea for flavor."

"You forgot the black tea."

Karma scoffed, but smiled. She watched him sip and chew, but the mundane task was as miraculous as snow in the desert. Today was the day—she'd said her final goodbyes. And yet, here he was, breathing and bickering with her as though nothing had happened.

"How are things on the outside?" His voice was sandy and dry but still carried that familiar cadence of authority and boredom.

"Last I checked, Eren is still actively ending the world and our plan to stop him involves a flying boat. Not great odds. But I haven't left the house all week, so I don't know much."

"I was out for a full week?"

"Eight days, technically."

"Dammit." Levi's left eye narrowed. He held up his three-fingered hand, staring at the middle nub of knuckle. "Great. My favorite finger."

The door creaked again. Jean was holding a tray with a platter of pancakes and eggs and a glass of orange juice. His brows arched.

"Oh, Cap. You're awake." Jean's gaze flicked to Karma then down to the tray. "I'll leave this here then." He dropped it at the foot of the bed. Before Karma could decide whether to stop him, the door had closed.

"So Jean's voice wasn't in my head," Levi said. Karma whipped toward him.

"You could hear?!"

"Yeah. Not sure how much of it I was making up, though."

"What did you hear?"

"Mostly just grumbling and whining from Jean."

"Naturally."

"And he called me a 'damn bastard' on multiple occasions."
"Yeah, that was real."

Levi took another sip and finished his third cracker. "You said some interesting things."

"Really? I don't remember saying a whole lot." Karma's foot was jumping.

"Then I must have a colorful imagination," he said. Karma avoided his smirking eyes.

"Probably."

"So you don't love me?"

"Alright, I did say that. But to be fair, I thought you were about to die. I'd say anything to ease your passing, Captain."

Levi held his gut as he chuckled. He winced. "When's that whisky supposed to kick in?"

"Any minute. Does it hurt?"

"Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"I thought it was funny."

Levi's left eye shot to the ceiling, which Karma assumed to be an eyeroll. "Well there's no reason to lose three Scouts. Commander Hange'll reinstate you and Jean to active duty. Report to HQ," he said.

"What?"

"I'm useless, but you two are still perfectly capable soldiers."

"But you still need medical attention."

"Karma, this isn't a suggestion."

"Neither is medical attention."

"I'll be fine. The Scouts need you more than I do now."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving."

"Dammit, Karma. What do I have to do? Drag you to HQ?"

"Try it."

"Stubborn as always," Levi said with another glance to the ceiling, but Karma could almost swear he was smiling. "You're right—I can't."

She tilted her chin. "That's what I thought."

"But Jean can."

Her chin dropped. "Fine. I'll go willingly, but you're coming too. And you'll have to walk because the only horse I have is Jean."

"Fine."

Levi scooted to the edge of the bed and settled his feet on the floor. His toes rippled and his ankles rolled as he psyched himself to stand. But Karma should've known this would be a terrible idea. The moment he lurched forward and tried to straighten, his weak legs gave out. Karma caught him around the waist mid-fall and eased him back onto the bed.

"Shit. Just send for a carriage when you get to HQ," Levi said, lip furrowed in obvious frustration. Karma scoffed through her nose.

"I'm not leaving you unattended in my house."

"Of course not. I'm a notorious trouble maker."

"We'll just have to carry you then."

Karma found Jean at the dining table. There was an empty plate with dots of eggs and a fork sinking in a puddle of syrup. He looked up.

"Hey." Jean's expression bordered between hopeful and hesitant.

"Hey. Can you help me with Levi? I promise it's the last time I'll need your horsepower."

She'd expected a scoff at the very least, but he didn't react. "Alright."

Back in the guest room, Jean helped Karma hoist Levi to his feet. She knew the whisky had kicked in because Levi didn't so much as swear when his sloppy legs took the weight of his body. He was semi-lucid but limp, an arm slung around each of their shoulders.

"What's wrong with him?" Jean said. Levi's head flopped and he muttered something that sounded like sleep-talk.

"The whisky finally kicked in," Karma said. Jean cackled as though he'd won a jackpot.

"He's drunk?!"

"It's to help with the pain. Can you imagine how shitty he must feel?"

"You weren't trying to take advantage of him?" Jean flashed a teasing grin over his shoulder. Karma gave him an unimpressed face.

"Grow up, Jean. God." But inside, Karma was glad he was acting like his usual, obnoxious self. She'd worried that kiss would ruin things between them.

"So where are we taking bandaids here?" Jean said.

"Captain wants us to report to HQ."

"Are we off babysitting duty then?"

"You are."

"Huh?"

"I'm requesting to be stationed in the hospital wing."

"Why? Karma, he'll be fine—he's past the worst of it. If anything, he just needs to be left alone."

"I can't leave him alone. He can't even walk."

"There'll be a whole staff of people there for him. You're a good soldier, shortcake. I think Levi's right to send you back into action," Jean said as they lumbered over the threshold and out of the house.

Karma responded by closing the front door with her foot and ignoring his expectant glances.

Just minutes into the journey and Levi was starting to wear on Karma's shoulder like a backpack of rocks. But she suspected Jean was shouldering most of the burden.

They plowed ahead with nothing in the air but birdsongs and crickets wings. A bee carrying yellow globs zipped past. Stippled shadows from rustling branches brushed their shoulders. The pleasant breeze parachuted Karma's cotton slacks at the ankles.

"Can I be honest with you?" Jean said, punctuating the peace.

They'd reached a pebbly road tufted with weeds. The path was lined with full pines. Dried needles littered the ground, mocking autumn leaves.

"Is it about the kiss?" Karma said. Beside her, Levi chuckled and slurred, "Alrighty, don't mind if I do…"

"Kinda. It's just that I…really liked having you all to myself," Jean said, scratching his stubbled neck with his free hand.

"Well I apologize on Levi's behalf for surviving."

"No, it's not like that. I never wanted him to die or anything, but the longer he slept, the longer it was just me and you. And I don't want that to end just because the bastard had the nerve to wake up. If you're busy at the hospital wing, then I won't get to see you."

Pebbles crunched under their shoes like egg shells until they left the rural outskirts of Trost. The main city was paved with cobblestone that clicked under their heels.

Karma blew away a loose strand of hair tickling her nose. "Of course you'll see me. We still have meal time and team training," she said.

"So…you're choosing him then?"

"I'm not choosing anyone. I don't even feel old enough to worry about that," she said.

"It's not like we have much time left."

"So the world is ending and you're still holding out for me? Wouldn't it be easier to find someone a little less complicated?"

"Of course it'd be easier, but I don't want someone else."

They reached the looming brick and regal arches of HQ. Uniform-clad sentries rushed to relieve them of Captain Levi. Cold relief washed Karma's arm, but pressure pulsed like he was still leaning on her.

She could've sworn Levi mumbled her name as they dragged him inside. She imagined them dumping him like a heap of dirty laundry on a springy hospital mattress crusted with urine stains. Would they check his scars? Change his bandages? Stay by his bedside?

The double doors clang to a close, leaving her alone with Jean on the entryway stairs. While Jean rolled out a knot in his shoulder, Karma climbed two steps so that they were eye level.

"Look, I liked working with you too, Jean. I liked being with you. I swear you won't lose me for good—can't that be enough for right now?" Jean climbed a step closer, and Karma had to raise her chin to keep eye contact.

"What about that kiss? Did you feel anything?"

"Yes." A complete understatement.

Jean nodded, contemplating. "I guess that'll have to be enough for now." With a hand on the golden door handle, he paused. "Just…don't worry so much about him, alright? It's a waste of your talents. He's not the only one who needs you."

Then it was just her on the stairs.