"Rebelling?"
Karma swished the lime curtain behind her. "Visiting," she said. "Thought you could use some company." Levi was smirking beneath the bandages.
"I won't say no to company. It's pretty drab here. I prefered your place."
The bay was clean and cramped—just a twin sized bed and a medicine cabinet with a rolling tray table. The thin green curtain provided privacy but did nothing to veil the groans of wounded soldiers around them, so Karma couldn't pretend she had Levi all to herself.
An IV line dripped from a hanger.
"You smell better," Karma said. Levi scoffed a laugh.
"I've sobered up."
"How's your scarring?" Karma hadn't changed his bandages or checked his wounds before they left for HQ that morning. Levi waking up from the dead threw a hefty socket wrench in her usual care routine—a wonderful socket wrench that tightened the weakening bolts holding her life together.
"Haven't had the heart to look," he said.
"Mind if I do?"
"Knock yourself out." Levi fingered for the end of the bandages then unwound his arms and chest. No infection. Some raised keloids, but Karma was pleased to see that most of the lightning bolt stitches she'd left in had closed completely. He wouldn't need the bandages soon.
"Can I see your face?"
Levi peeled off his head wrapping. His hair was unkempt and in need of a wash. But his face was almost perfect. She had left these stitches in longer than necessary, hoping to minimize the scarring. Most of them were ready to be removed, including the one that cinched his right eye closed. She traced her thumb over the lid.
"Captain, if you want, I can take these stitches out."
"I would like to see you with both of my eyes."
A pair of angled scissors were in a drawer. She slid the blade under a stitch in his forehead, then hesitated. "Your eye looked pretty bad when you got to me. I don't know if it'll work right. I'm sorry if—"
"Don't apologize. Just cut the stitches."
With needlepoint precision, Karma nicked the train tracks of fabric and plucked out the loose strings. When she was finished, all that was left was a flat pink line streaking from his forehead to his chin. Eventually, it would turn white.
Karma traced the smooth mark, content with the result of her impromptu handiwork. From the tip of his chin, she rolled a finger across his jaw and up his cheek. But now that he was conscious she couldn't get too carried away exploring these familiar planes. She dropped her hand.
"Okay. You can open your eyes."
Levi's good eye snapped open, but the lid on the other was sticky. Karma wetted a washcloth and rubbed it along his lash line. Then Levi blinked both eyes as though expelling an eyelash. He looked at Karma, who bit her lip at the sight. The iris was pale and off-color.
"Shit." Levi rubbed his bad eye and blinked again.
"I'm so sorry—"
"Stop apologizing, Karma."
"Is it…completely blind?"
"No, but it's like looking through a beer bottle."
"I'm—" Karma stopped herself from apologizing. "That sucks," she said instead.
"Yeah." Levi clenched his half-fist. "Aren't you on duty? You should go."
"No, I requested standby—Jean sort of guilt-tripped me and this was the best compromise I could think of. The Scouts will only send me out when they need backup, and in the meantime, I can…volunteer here."
"That's ridiculous—the Scouts always need backup."
"Not right now they don't."
"Well there's plenty else to do. Don't waste your time off with some cripple."
"You really want me to go?"
Levi slumped back on his pillow, wrist against his forehead. His chest deflated in a heavy sigh. "No. Please stay."
Karma sat at the edge of his bed and clasped his hand. Her thumb dipped between the groves of his knuckles. "I never left."
The pressure of her fingers. The whisper of her breaths. The weight of her head on the edge of the mattress. Her presence infiltrated his mind like steam seeping beneath the crack of a door until his dreams melted into a series of colorful memories. The edges were fuzzy like smeared pencil lead, but in the moment he was convinced that it was real.
There was a cloying metallic scent and something like dried mud caked his eyes and cheeks. His shoes clinked against shingles.
Voices were shouting and crying, Armin's name mingled in the glob of thick cries. Karma was thrashing against Jean. Eren screamed as Floch held him back. Mikasa was limp in Hange's arms.
By Levi's feet were Erwin and a boyish body blackened to charcoal.
He heard his own voice. "Get out of here! I'm gonna have Erwin eat Bertholdt!"
"No, Captain, Please!" It was Karma. A gleam made her golden irises appear to warble. She deflated until Jean was hoisting her weight. He whispered something into her hair and she hugged his arms with a tearful nod. Then Jean launched a cable and reeled them out of sight.
Levi watched until they disappeared in the patchwork of buildings. I have to. I'm sorry, he wanted to say, but the words didn't come.
Another steel wire reeled, pulling Eren's cry with it. Mikasa shoved herself free from Hange and unsheathed her blades. Levi prepped for another ambush, but Mikasa didn't strike. Instead, she swung with words.
"What if it wasn't Armin?" she said. Levi's eyes sharpened.
"Who else would it be? What are you getting at?"
"Isn't there anyone you care about? What if it was them?"
"I would put humanity first."
"I don't believe that."
"Your beliefs won't change a thing, Mikasa. Now go."
Her lip quivered. She gave Hange a subtle nod and they left.
Levi stared at the two bodies by his feet. The syringe was cold in his hand.
What if it wasn't Armin?
Maybe it was an impulse decision. Maybe it was Mikasa's words. But he saved Armin.
Tear stained shoulders and tight hugs. Joyful sobs. Eren and Mikasa held Armin's hands while Karma dappled his cheeks in wet kisses. A scoff ruffled behind Levi.
"Wish she was that happy to see me," Jean said, arms crossed as he watched the tearful reunion. "What changed your mind, Cap?"
"Erwin deserves to rest," Levi said.
But he watched Karma and her tear-clumped eyelashes and smiling kisses, thinking he might, for once, agree with Jean.
The image blurred. Karma's and Armin's golden hair blended together and dimmed to candlelight. Mikasa and Eren melted away into a circle of onlookers. The brick and shingles were now the canvas flaps of a lively tent. Clapping hands percussed to a folky tune.
In the center of the circle were skirts that billowed and feet that shuffled to the rhythm. Connie was dressed in an olive suit coat over a white button-up, spinning in circles with Karma. Her braid swished against her back. Her peach skirts flared. She and Connie were tipsy and giggling. Then a sleek haired Jean swept her away and dipped her by the waist, swinging one of her bare feet into the air. The air shimmered with her bubbling laughter.
Captain Levi watched the festivities from the back corner, ankles crossed. The tea cup in his hand had long since grown cold.
"Hey."
He glanced over and saw Mikasa. She was wearing a white hat with a green ribbon.
"What?" he said, returning his glare to the dance floor.
"You should go dance." Mikasa nudged him with an encouraging smile.
"No thanks. I try not to make a fool of myself."
"She wouldn't think you're a fool."
Levi's eyes shot back to Mikasa. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, please." She swirled the wine in her glass. "Just ask her for a dance. I promise she'll say yes."
"There isn't enough alcohol in all of Marley."
"Guess there's always next time." Mikasa's cream skirts glided as she returned to Eren's side and tugged his sleeve, handing him the glass.
Dammit, how was she so perceptive? Levi's exhale was nearly a groan as he put his tea cup down and pushed through the crowd.
He was close enough to feel the wind of her twirling skirts. A clod of nerves constricted his throat, but he swallowed it down.
"Wanna dance?" He almost wished she hadn't heard. Then it wouldn't be too late to retreat. But she turned to him with wide eyes.
"Me?" Karma's cheeks matched her skirt. Levi stared past her ear.
"Yeah. Why not?"
"Um, alright."
For someone so well-versed in battle and agility, Levi didn't know where to begin. He held his arms up, waiting for Karma to show him what to do with them.
"Okay, hold my hands—yep, just like that. And now we spin."
"Sure you won't throw up?"
"Don't worry, I'll aim for Connie."
Levi half-smiled.
They spun until their arms tangled together. Karma just laughed and held out her hands, an invitation to try again.
He swirled into a mist of her perfume. The edge of her braid grazed his arm. Her giggles lured out his hard-to-reach smiles and soft chuckles. He found himself dizzy and intoxicated in the music and laughter. The feel of her hands closed in his. The sheen on her neck and bosom.
Before she could be snatched up by someone else, Levi asked her for another dance. Then another. They danced until their shoes felt too small. Until all of their energy dissipated into the vibrant colors and sounds around them.
Now they were dazed on the dance floor, Karma's cheek against his chest. His arms held her upright as they side-stepped back and forth. He dropped his chin on her crown. He could smell her hair. He could feel her vibrate when she laughed at their missteps.
This was a moment he would freeze. But reliving it in a blurry-edged dream was close enough.
The music dampened. Karma slipped away like an armful of sand. His eyes fluttered open.
She was still beside him. Her snores quiet and constant. Her fingers limply curled in his. If only his damn legs would work right, he could recreate that perfect memory again. But it was more than his legs holding him back. And it was more than a dance that he wanted.
The green curtain rustled. Jean stepped in, glowering at Levi. But his face softened when he turned to Karma and bent to whisper in her ear. Her dizzy head floated up and her eyes blinked until she found Jean. She gave him a dreamy smile and grabbed his hand, letting him lead her out.
She didn't even look back or say goodbye. The curtain swished shut behind her and Levi was left alone, lips parted.
What was that smile? He'd never seen it before. It was pure infatuation. A hot coal settled in his stomach. Why had she looked at Jean that way?
The room evaporated. Levi's eyes opened again. This time, the right half of the world was distorted and warped. The left was clear.
Sunlight from an unseen window projected an angled rectangle on the curtain. His head rolled to where Karma had been sleeping. Her chair was empty.