Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., As usual, you have it all. Me? I am having nothing but fun. Although... sometimes I wish it was the other way around.

Previous:

Soon, Dobby came back: "Master Harry is invited for breakfast in Abbot Manor, the Floo address is Abbot's rule. Madam Bones and Mistress Susi be there too."

Harry went back to his room and made two permanent copies of Obi-Wan's letters.

7 Watch the movies!

Harry Floosereded into Abbot's home, cursing his lack of elegance leaving the fireplace, it dropped him face down in front of his Chaperon.

Peggy could not help but tease him: "You don't have to kiss my feet to gain my sister's favor Lord Potter, you already have that."

Harry turned on his back and looked up… Peggy was way too close for comfort, Harry was looking up her skirt. Unconsciously he muttered: "Pink?"

Peggy noticed her position and the direction Harry was looking at, she came to her senses and jumped back, angry she asked: "Did you do this on purpose Harry? I thought you were an honorable guy! I have to inform Hannah of this."

Way to go Padawan! Using the fireplaces like that never crossed my mind! Peggy is at fault too, she could have spelled her skirt against peeping To… Harry's.

Blushing, Harry got on his feet, stammering an apology at Peggy: "Heiress Abbot, I did not mean to disrespect you and apologize for my indiscretion. Traveling through the Floo is hard for me, the fireplace always ejects me and I land several yards into the room. Please forgive me."

Padawan has read the right books, that was a decent apology. Nice panty too.

Peggy closed her eyes to calm down, in a way she was responsible too, she could just have stepped back instead of mocking the clumsy landing. And she definitively forgot to spell her skirt.

"You are forgiven… for now Lord Potter, I must confess I forgot to use the spell against perverts like you, so the blame is partially mine too."

Smooth, Peggy forgives him and simultaneously slapped the label 'Pervert' on my Padawan's ass.

Harry was already glad he did not get hexed or worse and accepted the loss. Curiously he asked: "Thank you for your kindness Heiress Abbot. What spell did you forget if I may ask?"

"At Hogwarts, all females are taught at the end of the first year how to spell skirts and dresses to prevent perverts to see our underwear. I did not expect someone doing that at home."

Peggy is a professional at giving vocal barbs at my poor Padawan, the boy just has to bow his head and take the damage.

"Nevertheless, I will avoid doing that in the future Heiress Abbot."

A male voice at the door said: "I certainly hope so Lord Potter, there are some boundaries that can not be crossed. We will regard this as an isolated mishap."

"Thank you, Lord Abbot. And thank you for your invitation."

Geesh! All that fuss for spotting a panty, take them to the beach next time Padawan, I don't know about Britain, but in France, they show their tits on the beach. That will cause a meltdown with the prudes, or compel Susan to show her assets too.

Xxxxx

Harry finally made it to the breakfast table in one piece, Hannah and Susan claimed the seats beside him. Hannah softly asked: "Harry? What happened at the Floo?"

Harry whispered: "Ask Peggy, it is best if she tells you."

Great excuse Padawan! 'I spotted your sister's panty' is not the thing to say to your girlfriends, especially if he did not even see their panties yet.

After breakfast, Madam Bones and the Abbot's parents took Harry to the office.

Lord Abbot asked: "Your letter showed some distress, Harry, can you tell us what is troubling you?"

Good, caring in-laws, a rare breed indeed.

Harry presented a stack of my letters to Madam Bones and Lord Abbot: "After the fight at the Ministry, I received a letter each morning. It helped me get away from Dumbledore and claim my Lordships. The bottom one is the first letter, the top one is from this morning. Please read them."

The three adults started on the letters, astonished with the information it revealed, some hiccups with my comments on the girls, but generally, the information I provided was worth a fortune.

The information about the spells got them excited and horrified when they read the last letters. Madam Bones was worried about the prediction of being attacked by Voldemort and suddenly understood why Harry sent the memory of the manipulation of his elves.

She studied the spell and Arithmancy of the spell to reveal the dark mark and said: "Too bad it needs a Parselmouth, one with a Master at Runes and Arithmancy. It clearly shows the intelligence of your protector Harry. None of the letters indicate any bad intentions toward you. His last letter however gives away knowledge about the wizarding world in general; Voldemort's, Dumbledore's, and your personal lives.

It also pictures him as a very powerful man. Getting rid of a Horcrux that latched in your scar overnight without you noticing it, is something even Goblins can't achieve."

Praise me, Amelia Bones! I am powerful indeed! Bow to me! Grovel on the floor! No... she is a fine-looking Milf. Lay in my bed! Much better. If Susan's grows the same size as Amelia's then Harry will have no trouble doing a titty fuck with Susan. Very impressive. Hmm? What were we doing? Ah, letters.

Lady Abbot smiled: "He is the cause for the courtship too. Did you notice the book list? All the things a future Lord needs to know, he even named the chapters that are relevant."

Lord Abbot commented: "What worries me is that he knows exactly what is happening to Harry, he even knew I was teasing Harry and the girls when we made the contract up. Your office is warded against listening spells and outside interference, Amelia, that makes me wonder how he knows all that?"

"Throat Slicer asked me the same, he had curse breakers examine me, they even did several rituals to detect foreign magic. They found nothing but spell residue from Dumbledore and evidence of my life at the Dursleys. I allowed them to do rituals to correct all of those too. Throat Slicer will send you a report, I asked him to do so."

Lord Potter is growing in his role! This Jedi approves…? Am I trying to convince myself that I am a fucking Jedi?… Maybe I am a Force Ghost after all. The Milf said I am powerful, so it must be true.

Lord Abbot chuckled: "Amelia, Harry played us too, he is Lord Black already, Obi-Wan was right to keep it still, we will too Harry. Which means we have to wait until next week after the will has been read if we want to bring some extra people in."

Lady Abbot spoke up: "We should focus on the reason Harry showed the letters. I guess claiming House Slytherin, and the consequences are what triggered Harry to come to us. Am I right Harry?"

"You are right mam, I am courting two girls, House Black demands a separate wife, and no doubt House Slytherin does too. Obi-Wan advised against merging the Houses because it risks losing ancient alliances with other Houses. I know Miss Susan needs to keep her name to revive her house, which means two more girls I have to court. Miss Susan and Miss Hannah are close friends, what will happen when two others join the family?

Yesterday, I noticed I still have a lot to learn about the Wizarding world, the Nobility, and most of all, about girls. It is getting too much, to be honest. Obi-Wan is steering me in the right direction, I know that, but he is also forcing me to take decisions that are way above my abilities and knowledge."

Though shit Padawan, try to die and end up in a kid's head. It is a blast, I can tell you that.

Lady Abbot thought about it and answered: "The Lord of the House must consider the future of his Houses, keeping the peace between the wives should be a Primary concern. Cat fights between two wives can go over to their children, causing fights, feuds, or worse. It would be wise to look for the two other wives in their circle of friends. That can make it complicated too, a lot of them are Heiresses Primary or have the same agreement as Susan and Hannah. Most of them are already paired up. You can end up with four, five, or even six wives Harry. The good part is that you have time to come to a decision."

Madam Bones shook her head: "No he doesn't have time, it is new for all of them now, selecting two more girls now will set them on equal footing. Waiting a few months will disturb the balance and cause friction."

Go Padawan! A lot of names come to mind, the Slytherins, Pansy, and Milly… No the other two, they are prettier, the Patils, Lav-Lav, and Parv-Parv? Cho and Marietta? No Marietta has a pimple problem, courtesy of Hermione. Hmm? Hermione and Gin-Gin? Why not, it can work. The Carrow twins… they have a lot of emotional baggage.

Hmm? Why am I girl-shopping? I can't even do anything with them! Padawan can bloody pick them himself. I better prepare a nice room in my mindscape. I feel I am going to need it soon.

Lord Abbot touched on the next topic: "That brings us to the Wizengamot. Harry, Obi-wan is right. Tomorrow is the emergency Wizengamot, the trials are three days after. I was planning to endorse Amelia, but knowing she can be attacked made me hesitate to do so. Although Amelia? Being the Head of the DMLE will trigger an attack too. What do you suggest?"

Madam Bones looked Harry in the eyes and answered: "We will read it in tomorrow's letter."

WTF? Did I just get involved into their politics? Why don't I do a column in the Quibbler? Obi-Wan's Wise Words! Donate a lot, I need a new airplane every two years to take care of my female flock… that is a thought to keep in mind.

The meeting went on for two more hours, all my letters were analyzed in detail, all of them were wondering what in Merlin's name is the Force.

Harry said: "Hermione stated it comes from a movie picture. I never saw a movie in a theater, only when they are released on TV… a TV is like a wireless but with moving pictures… yes live pictures too when they broadcast the Daily News… no they have more channels, even channels where you have to pay more and you can decide what movie or show you want to see… I don't know if the wireless can do that too… Hmm… I suggest asking some muggleborns Lord Abbot, remember? Ten years in a cupboard and five years in the boonies in North Scotland doesn't make me a specialist about it."

Padawan is using irony? Or is it sarcasm? Meh, who cares. Go see the fucking movies!

Xxxxx

They must have heard me, chaperon Peggy was tasked to escort us to London and see the movies… Harry tried to stop them: "Ehm, those movies are already old, it is best to watch them on video, you can rent the movies, even rent the video player, the thing is, we don't have a TV. It is Sunday and most of the shops are closed. Do any of you know a muggleborn? Hermione has one, but I don't have her address."

That, and knocking on her door with three girls in tow: "Hey Hermione, can we see Star Wars here with you? They want to know about the Force." Dumbledore probably will have her house monitored too.

Even when they can rent a TV, there is no bloody electricity in the Manor. I never imagined watching movies could be so complicated.

The force was put on the shelves for later.

Xxxxx

When the meeting ended, the adults left to do some networking, Harry was put on the grill by Hannah and Susan and questioned about a certain panty.

Harry decided to come clean and confess it all: "The Floo always spit me out into the room, I landed on my belly in front of Peggy, when she was making fun of me, I rolled on my back and looked up her skirt. I apologized for it, but it was not intentional."

Peggy came in and said: "They know Harry, but it is a girlfriend's duty to make a fuss about it, so for the next half hour you are in the doghouse. After that? Maybe they flash you with theirs to get your mind off my panty."

"PEGGY!"

"What? Look at him! He is already picturing them in his mind. Come on, at least let the boy dream."

Hannah grumbled: "You are supposed to keep us in line, not encourage us to expose our bodies to Harry after one date."

"So? You were snogging his tonsils clean last night when I left. Admit it, sis, I can recognize when one has their first snog, and the both of you had them."

Susan did damage control: "Yes, Peggy, we did. But flashing our knickers to Harry is going too far."

Harry groaned: "And talking about it in my presence is going too far too. I have no idea what to say or do right now."

Peggy felt sorry for him: "The best solution is to change the subject, for example, what your meeting was about."

Harry lowered his head: "That is even more embarrassing, in a nutshell, I let them see where I get my information from. I have to keep most of it a secret for now."

At the word 'secret', all the girl's eyes brightened, Susan to the right, Hannah to the left, Harry got ambushed: "Harry? You know that Susan and I can be trusted with your secrets do you? Even Peggy can keep them. Pleaaaaase? Pretty Please?"

Harry sighed: "I don't think you are going to like my secret Hannah."

Susan whispered in Harry's ear, her lips almost touching: "Why don't you try us, Harry? You might be surprised."

Padawan is losing the battle. The blood left his brain and went to Little Harry. In Japan, the blood only goes to the nose for some reason, but with Caucasians, it goes right to the pecker. And peckers only think about one thing, drilling holes.

Harry blushed and blurted out: "I am told I can claim House Slytherin!"

Peggy asked confused: "So why don't you?"

"Because I have to find a wife for it to keep the Houses separated. Like the deal with Susan and Hannah. I probably end up with House Black too, that is another one. Well, Susan? Do you like my secret?"

"To be clear Harry, you are going to be having more wives other than Hanna and me? How is that going to work?"

"That was what the meeting was all about Susan, and we came up blank."

Peggy asked: "Just don't claim it then? You are not forced to claim that House don't you?"

"Peggy, as Lord Slytherin I control Voldemort's reputation. What will happen when I kick Voldemort out of House Slytherin? He did a ritual using my blood to get a new body, if I disown him, won't a piece of Magic leave him? It could end these war weeks or even months sooner, how many innocent lives will get lost if I don't claim it?"

Harry continued: "But then again Susan and Hannah, is it fair for you both? House Black needs one, and House Slytherin comes along adding another. What will the rest of our lives look like? With four wives? My brain can hardly cope with the thought about two wives, let alone four."

Suddenly a small voice at the door proclaimed: "I am going to marry twenty girls!"

That broke the heavy mood, Peggy chuckled: "Sure Damon, but wait until you are at Hogwarts to select the best ones. But remember, the very best ones are in Hufflepuff!"

Harry protested: "Hey! Griffindor has some pretty ones too!"

The moment he said that he knew he was in the doghouse again. From the left: "Who exactly Harry?" from the right: "Are they going to be three and four Harry?"

Harry felt chills running up and down his spine. All his instincts screamed DANGER! Swallowing he answered: "The best ones are in Hufflepuff, Hannah, and Susan, but I have to promote my House to Damon."

Hannah whispered in his ear: "Nice save hubby, we talk about it later."

Katcha! Padawan gets whipped! My imaginary Popcorn is in my hands again.

The rest of the time they entertained Damon, Harry demonstrated his flying skills on a Comet 260, his improved body added to his skills, especially his corrected eyesight.

Lunch was in a cozy family atmosphere, with Damon asking all kinds of questions about Hogwarts from a male kind of view: "They only explain the girly stuff to me, I want to know what the men have to do."

Harry grinned: "Well, in my first year I fought a Troll, in my second year I killed a basilisk, the year after, I chased Dementors away, in my fourth year I won the Tri-wizard tournament, and this year I fought a dozen death eaters in the Ministry."

Damon huffed: "Like I believe that! You have to come up with something better."

Harry tilted his head: "Hmm, a tough one, how is this; in my first year I killed the Dada teacher, in my second year I walked into an acromantula Colony, talked to the patriarch, and escaped alive. Third year, I rode a Hippogriff and helped a criminal escape with it, in my fourth year I outflew a Dragon with my broom. Last year I was the leader of an illegal fighting club. What do you think of that?"

Damon shook his head: "That is almost worse, are classes so boring that you have to make stuff up?"

Harry protested: "But I have to! I am the Boy Who Lived! I have to do crazy Hero stuff! Would you believe that the Boy Who Lived got bored at Hogwarts? I have to do all of that or they think I am a fake!"

Damon: "Nope, try again."

Harry complained: "Hey! I almost used all my good stuff! Well, first year, I helped a Half-Giant hatch an illegal dragon egg, and when the Norwegian Ridgeback was four weeks old, we moved her to a dragon preserve. Hmm, Second year, instead of riding the train I flew to Hogwarts with a flying Car. Third year… a werewolf almost bit me. Fourth year… A Sphinx asked me a riddle, if I answered it wrong she would kill me. Last year? I flew from Hogwarts to London on invisible flying horses."

Damon whistled: "You are so full of it! Do people actually believe all of that? Do you have more? It is kind of fun to hear all those lies."

Harry grumbled: "I have a tough audience here. Here we go: First year, the deputy headmistress sent me and three other students into the forbidden forest to hunt a poacher that was killing Unicorns. Second year, we forced the Dada professor at wand point into a tunnel and caused him to obliviate himself. Third year, I went back in time and liberated my Godfather, Fourth year, I saved two people, one of them an eight-year-old Veela, from a mermaid village at the bottom of the Black Lake. Fifth year… Ah, we lured our Dada professor into the Forbidden Forest and handed her over to the Centaur herd."

Damon looked at me and asked: "You don't like your Dada professors, do you? You keep on killing them."

Harry sagely nodded: "Yeah, they don't last long with me, I think it is a curse."

Damon grinned: "Do you have more? Eventually, you have to run out of that over-the-top stuff."

Harry protested: "Hey! that is good stuff, I think of writing books about it as Lockhart did! Here goes another one: first year the headmaster created an obstacle course on the third floor, we had to pass a three-headed dog, a killing plant, open a door with flying keys, play on a giant chessboard, pass by a Troll and find a potion between several vials of poisons, and last, I had to retrieve a priceless artifact from a mirror that showed me my deepest desires. I won.

Second year, a rogue House elf tried to stop me from going to Hogwarts, he did magic at my house, closed the portal at the train station, and at the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, he send a bludger after me to knock me off my broom. At the end of the year, I managed to let his Lord give him clothes.

Third year… hmm, at the quidditch match against the Hufflepuffs, I got attacked by a swarm of Dementors, I fell off my broom from a hundred feet high and almost died.

Fourth year, I exposed a fake Dada Professor, he was teaching the whole year and had the real one stashed away in his own trunk.

Fifth year… the Dada professor tortured me with a blood quill, she forced me to write lines with my own blood for hours. Done! What do you think about that?"

Damon shook his head in pity: "Nope, I am not buying it, nobody would believe that Boy Who Lived, admit that school is boring and be done with it."

Harry sighed: "Alright, school is boring, History of magic is taught by a ghost that can put you asleep in ten minutes, the Dada professors are idiots or criminals, they teach us to fly on firewood, the potion professor runs a death eater camp in Slytherin, Muggle studies are more than a century behind, the care for magical creatures professor thinks that dragons are just misunderstood because they want to eat us. Divination is taught by a woman looking through the bottom of her sherry bottle. Is that better Damon?"

Damon sighed: "Can't you be serious for a minute? I am going there in two years and I need information."

Harry nodded: "Fair enough, the prettiest girls are in Hufflepuff, Susan and Hannah here are prime examples, good kissers too, Slytherin's are a bit dull, the truly ambitious and cunning ones sort into other Houses. Gryffindors… some are courageous, but most are just loudmouths. Ravenclaws are smart but cold and uncaring to those that not fit their definition of what is proper. My advice? Go Puff."

Harry clapped his hands and said: "Enough about that boring school! What else do you do here for fun?"

Damon led us outside, In passing, Peggy took my hand and read the scars from the Blood quill, softly she asked: "Did you even lie once just now?"

Harry shook his head: "Nope, all true stories, amazing isn't it?"

"You have one hour, I'll keep Damon busy, keep it decent Harry."

Padawan! Go for it! I'll hide in my landscape, I take my imaginary Popcorn with me though.

Xxxxx

Two hours later I emerged, yep teenagers always take more than they are given, it is natural. The boy is happy though, a good snog with some wandering hands made his day complete. The girls are looking happy so I guess he did something right too.

Ah, teenage love… a living nightmare. Why do you ask? You grow up, your balls drop in at eleven or twelve, all kinds of chemicals are raging through your body, then, if you are lucky you grew up with girls, so at least you have a clue. If not, then you are a fumbling mess until you are twenty. Me? I was the fumbling mess.

Harry got a chaste kiss goodbye when he Floosered home under the watchful gaze of his Dad-in-Law.

He spend a few hours meditating and planning for the next day and went to bed with a smile. This day was the second-best day.

Good for my Padawan, two almost perfect days in a row, pigs do fly after all.

Xxxxx

Young Padawan,

You asked advice from your elders, a smart thing to do, it was your choice to do so.

Let me first get Madam Bones' questions answered: yes, no matter what job you have, you are a prime target for Voldemort because you are not corrupt. Voldemort will eliminate the most honest members f the Wizengamot, the rest will retreat into their burrows and wait until someone else does their job.

First fix the floo connections. Post guards at the floo office. A lot of murders happen when people can't escape through the Floo.

In the extra letter is the rune sequence for small portable wardstones. Carved correctly, it dispels the Imperio curse in a two yards radius. It drains your Magic a bit when a curse is dispelled, but a few strategically placed Aurors can keep your ministry Imperio free.

Clean your DMLE from death eaters and phoenix dum-dums. A Magic contract or Magic vow will do the trick.

If you are into child labor, in the second letter is a spell in Parseltongue, when Harry put his hand on the mark and cast the spell, every death eater will feel extreme pain, and their mark will become visible, no matter what spells they use to mask it. I am close to putting them on wardstones.

Create an escape route in your mansion. For example a tunnel to outside the wards. I am certain there are other ways. Like explaining the limits to your elves can take action in.

For the trials, get rid of Dumbledore ASAP! Harry's memories are enough proof to keep him from regaining his positions. For the captured death eaters, let them follow Sirius Black, or get them kissed. Askaban is a vacation resort, and Voldemort has total control over the Dementors. For getting the mark you have to torture and kill someone in front of Tom Marvolo Riddle. That mark is a slave brand and creates a link to his soul, it means he has total control over his slaves. The best solution is to put them out of their misery.

For my Padawan, I am glad you enjoyed your day. It was very entertaining. Don't worry about the Force, there always will be a balance.

I am sorry I can and will not help you with your love life Padawan, the decisions are yours to make. Know you have to live with them for a very long time.

May the force be with you Padawan,

Obi-Wan Kenobi

I think that is enough bullshit, most I got from fanfiction, they have solutions for everything, so if I provide enough options one of them could do the trick.

Meh, my Padawan will save the day.