Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Fanfiction is cheating on me, I tried my best to get over 40K words, and somehow I lost a hundred, 30 minutes of upload time for a new chapter sucks. Man, that sounds so whiny… fuck it, I do this for free.

Previous:

At one o'clock the doors closed. It was Serious Sirius time!

10 The Wills.

Harry looked at the ones present, the Malfoy's, Draco is looking a bit pale, Andromeda and Nymphadora, looking hot, the Wolf, looking like shit, flunkies from the Order, don't give a shit how they look, hey even Hermione with her parents and the jealous git, Hermione looks alright, she smiled shyly at Harry, with a bit of work she can get to a 9.2 on a scale of 10, Ron? Meh. Dumbles was the last one to make a dramatic entrance, looking like he just fucked a rainbow.

Rusty Blade came in and sat at a table on the stage, an elder with a stack of papers took the main seat.

He said: "This is the reading of the late Lord Black. Before he made that will he let Gringotts healers and curse breakers remove all spells and potions. This will can not and will not be disputed by anyone.

Because there was not a witness from the Wizard side, Branch Manager Ragnar V acted as an extra witness."

That must have been a special dude because even Dumbledore sagged his shoulder.

The Elder opened the will and started:

This is the last Will of Sirius Orion Black, dated 20 May 1996

Any previous' wills are nullified and void. Yes, Dumbledore, even the fake one you tried to slip in.

If I die before the first of July, I will bet you have a hand in it. Because from the moment Harry steps off that train I take him away.

Well, I am dead, so it is time to hand out the candy.

First, the rotten apples, from this day on, Bellatrix's marriage is annulled, by breach of the Marriage contract. Her Dowry is confiscated, all loans are called in, agreements and alliances she might have done are annulled. Finally, I cast her out of House Black and all Black Vaults she had confiscated. I am sorry Bellatrix, but you are a crazy murdering bitch.

Narcissa, you left me to rot in Askaban. After my grandfather died, I was the new Lord and you knew it. You did not only speak up for me, you even made an effort to get Fudge to have me kissed by a dementor. I hope that idiot husband does not kick you out to Narcissa No Name, yes, you left me to rot, you can do the same.

Draco Malfoy, I heard you are a copy of your father. I grant you 100 000 Galleons to you if you vow you are not branded by No Nose. Otherwise, get lost.

Dumbledore, I discovered your machinations for my Godson. A memory vial will go to the DMLE, expect a visit soon. One knut for you, you are not even worthy of thirty silvers, I doubt you even know what they mean.

Remus Lupin, my old friend, I am not certain about you, being already betrayed by Peter, I fear for you my friend. You can have the cottage at Sea, and 200 000 Galleons if you swear an oath that you had and always have Harry's best interest before Dumbledore's in mind.

Ron Weasley, another case of doubts, I grant you 10 000 Galleons

Hermione Granger, 10 000 Galleons, and 10 books from the Black Library given by the next Lord Black.

Andromeda Tonks, I am sorry Andi, I should have reinstated you and Ted in House Black a long time ago. Welcome to the family, you get your Dowry and 2 000 000 Galleons

Nymphadora Tonks. Welcome to House Black. 500 000 Galleons on the condition that you leave that Order of the Phoenix. If you don't 50 000 should be enough. Trust me, Dora, you are played for a fool by Dumbles. A vow is needed, Dora.

Finally, My Godson and blood-adopted son Harry James Potter, yes, I Blood adopted you a few months after you were born, the moment we could safely do so.

I hereby declare Harry James Potter emancipated and the new Lord of House Black with all its duties, the content of all its vaults, properties, and goods.

I hereby call in all outstanding loans to House Black.

If they can take a vow that they are not followers of Voldemort, the normal payments may continue.

As the legal magical Guardian of Harry Potter, I have granted him the right to take his Lordship of House Potter from the date this will is written.

I demand that the vows and Oaths are done before they leave the room, or they forfeit their share of the inheritance.

Have no doubt that Harry will enforce and execute my demands.

Xxxxx

Good Job old dog! I could have liked that mutt. Well, now that Bella is back on the market, she can suck up at the boss. Did he have a dingeling when he crawled out of the kettle? I searched Padawan's memory, I saw some vaguely small pinky-sized somethingy… no balls? Oh? They haven't dropped in yet? Crap! How do I get that out of my head?... Amelia's rack, Andromeda's fine-looking ass...it helps. What were we doing?… ah the dog.

When the Elder waited for the oaths, Draco stood up and left the room without a word, followed by Narcissa. I guess the naffer got branded before the news came out.

Remus Lupin walked in front of the stage, raised his wand, lowered it and left ashamed.

Harry expected it but felt hurt all the same. Exit one mangy mutt, and good riddance.

Tonks saw Lupin leave without the oath, she turned to Dumbledore: "I quit." Tonks approached the stage and did her oath. She went to Andromeda and buried her face in Andy's chest. Another heartbroken girl.

I hope she isn't going to make Padawan a rebound guy… I hope the wolf hasn't done more than sniff the goods. Fine goods by the way, I could see the ass came from mum's side of the family.

Hermione came to me: "Harry? Can you tell me what is going on?"

Harry smiled sadly: "You read the books, Hermione, it even goes far beyond that, Dumbledore is as Dark as Voldemort. Hermione, you always cared for me, let me care for you this once, call your parents please."

They were already in hearing distance and came closer: "Lord Black? Or is it Potter? Why do you have to take care of Hermione? And what does that care contains?"

"Harry Potter or Harry is just fine for me Mr. Granger. The care is that she and her family are put under House Potter and House Black protection. For five years Hermione stood by my side through all the problems. Now that Voldemort is in the open, Hermione is the prime target because of our friendship.

House Potter protection gives her the same rights as a member of our House. It means Dumbledore can't manipulate them anymore or used them against me.

As a muggle-born Hermione has almost no rights, and Dumbledore as her magical guardian at school can abuse that right, for example, write a marriage contr… maybe he already did write a marriage contract between Ron and you Hermione. Molly sends me one for Ginny with a compulsion charm to sign it. Hermione, did you receive such a letter?"

Hermione shook her head: "No I did not. Dumbledore wouldn't do that."

Harry showed the contract Molly sent to him: "Read it, Hermione, you too Mr. and Mrs. Granger. Clause 5,6, and 9."

A minute later tears flowed from Granger's eyes: "I can't believe it, allowing love potions, using fertility potions, 10% of your fortune to Dumbledore and 40% to the Weasleys?"

"Arthur's offer was decent, this was Molly on orders of Dumbledore. Hermione, I hereby offer you and your parents the protection of House Potter and House Black, do you accept?"

"I am sorry Mr. and Mrs. Granger, this is a Magic vow and only a magical can accept it. But I am certain Hermione will not accept if you refuse the offer."

Good move Padawan, always include the parents for stuff like that.

Hermione had a small discussion with her parents and asked: "I am free to do what I want? No strings attached? No marriage or other contracts?"

"Nope, you may marry who you want, no strings, only the vow that you will not deliberately harm House Potter or Black. I will make a vow that I won't deliberately harm you or your family. Is that acceptable?"

Hermione looked at her parents who nodded: "Then I will accept your offer, Harry."

Harry smiled: "Follow me to the stage, let me introduce you to House Black Account manager Warrior Rusty Blade, and House Potter Account Manager Warrior Throat Slicer. Warriors, I want to take my best friend Hermione Granger in House Potter and Black Protection, and open a vault in her name."

Go Padawan, those books helped a lot, by the looks of Dumbledore just in time. The use of love potions is allowed is a nasty clause. One that will make Hermione head over heels in love with Ronnie.

Before the vows were made, Harry asked permission to dispel any magic that was on Hermione. Tracking, listening, compulsions... Dumbledore knew she turned Dark and left.

A few vows later, Hermione was a Protegee of House Potter and Black.

Harry turned to face Ron… the naffer left the moment he heard me talk about love potions. He smiled at Hermione: "Now the good stuff Hermione. Here are eight wardstones, four for your home, and four for your parent's practice. Place them in a square and activate them by spelling your full name. A person carrying the Dark Mark will feel pain like a crucio inside that square, it needs to be on your property though, you can't ward the whole town. Careful they are heavy."

Yes, I gave the info on how to do so. First, it was to secure the homes of Susan and Hannah. Padawan, the all-time protector, prepared them for all his friends. He spends a whole day carving the stones with a high-quality carving set. Granite is bloody hard. Ron was supposed to take theirs home, I think he will drop them off at the twins.

Before they left, Harry spoke softly to Hermione: "If you want to visit my home, call on Dobby or Winky. Remember Hermione, as Protegees you and your parents are free to visit anytime. Winky will prepare a room for your parents and you on the second floor."

Xxxxx

Harry sat together with Rusty Blade and Throat Slicer going over the finances of the Black accounts. Narcissa was helping herself royally with a few loans to her hubby, too bad, Repo Harry is in town. Bella's Vault was loaded, Harry suspected they did more than torturing, raping, and killing, robbing was like a side job.

The books about management proved their worth, that, and the advice of both Goblins did the trick.

A half hour before the Potter Will was scheduled, all finances were done.

Harry made a decision: "Rusty Blade, Throat Slicer, I decided to Claim House Slytherin, what do I have to do to get it?"

Oh Padawan, In the normal world I would say get a big bag of blue pills. Now? Pepper Up Potions probably, an extra wife?

Throat Slicer answered: "Try the ring on, claim the House with a vow, and if the ring heats up, take it off as fast as you can. Are you sure you have a claim?"

Harry nodded: "I kicked his ass three times and had two draws, Tom used my blood to resurrect himself, so I can say my blood runs in the Slytherin line. If not then I'll be fast."

Harry continued: "I will use it to get another Horcrux, one I want you to take care of with your curse breakers. I want the Gaunt Ring undamaged though."

Rusty blade asked: "It will be done Lord Black, if I may ask for the reason you are claiming it? Surely not for an extra wife."

Harry shook his head: "Definitively not, this war is costing lives each day, if I can shorten the war even by one day, then I have saved a life or two. After my parents will is read I will stake my claim."

Xxxxx

Soon people came in, or back in, Andromeda and Nymphadora Tonks, Remus dared to show his snout, Aunty Bones, I don't know her, that must be Veronica rivers, AKA Mrs. Greengras, now I know where Daffy got her good looks from, fine specimen indeed.

Peter could not come, I think Dumbles saw Amelia come in and sent his cat, no, I can't use that line, that would be McGonagall.

At three o'clock the doors closed.

The same Elder came in, sat down, and said: "This will is only read to point out the beneficiaries.

Last will of Lord and Lady Potter / Evans 27 October 1980

All previous wills are hereby forfeited.

Well if hearing this will read, we are both dead, probably killed by Voldemort.

To set things straight, we are going into hiding under a fidelius charm, our secret keeper will be Peter Pettigrew, and we will use Sirius Black as a decoy, under protest of my wife that is.

To our friends we leave:

To Sirius Black 200 000 galleons and 10 000 annually to take care of Harry as sworn Godfather. Keep him safe Sirius, let Alice help if it's too much.

To Alice Longbottom nee Brown 200 000 and 10 000 annually, if Sirius is not able to as sworn Godmother, let Harry and Nevvy be best of friends.

To Remus Lupin 50 000 and our cottage in Kent, you know where it is.

To Peter Pettigrew 50 000 and the apartment you are renting in London, Dumbledore recommended you, and we trust you too. If it is proved you betrayed us, everything is void.

To Andromeda Tonks nee Black 20 000 my favorite niece.

To Nymphadora Tonks, Harry's favorite babysitter 10 000 at the age of 17 or marriage. She can have Lily's apartment in London when she becomes of age.

To Amelia Bones 10 000 we heard of the attack, take care of little Susan, I hope she can be friends with Harry.

To Veronica Greengrass nee Rivers 10 000 I hope Harry and little Daphne can be friends to

The list goes on with friends and shopkeepers, but there was 1 other that stood out:

To Albus Dumbledore 50 000 and 5 000 annually for the order, for casting the Fidelius and keeping us safe.

Now it is official, Padawan can pick the old man's carcass clean. He is even going to demand Sirius's knut back.

For Harry's magical guardian, we have in descending order:

Sirius Black, Godfather by ritual.

Alice Longbottom nee Brown Godmother by ritual.

Andromeda Tonks nee Black.

Veronica Greengrass nee Rivers.

Amelia Bones.

If nobody above is able or willing to take care of Harry, he may be adopted into a magical family, only if they swear a magical oath, not to belong or follow their doctrine of Voldemort and his death eaters.

If none is found or willing, a magical or muggle orphanage is acceptable.

Harry is never, ever to be placed with my sister, she and her husband hate Magic, and all things about Magic.

For the Guardian on the muggle side, we select Theodore Tonks, he is our lawyer from the firm Howey – Dewey - Screwam and assigns 4 000 Annually to handle the legal stuff

At the end

Witness:

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Griphook

The Elder spoke up: "The head of Griphook is already decorating a wall, and Gringotts recompensed House Potter for this breach in our security, although Lord Potter recognized part of it was due to his parent's naivety.

As of this moment the Galleons granted to you are put in your vault, we offer to make one available if you need one. Any deeds of properties are handed to you today."

Padawan… brace yourself! 3 Milfs are heading your way!... No, stay! See the perfection! All three are above 9.3 on a scale of 10, the three major colors are represented, Red, Black, and Platinum Blond!

Amelia is winning the bust competition, Andromeda is winning the ass and legs component, and Veronica has the pretty face. Win, win, win! Ah shut it, Padawan can drool over their offspring for all I care, this is perfection for me.

Amelia smiled: "Harry, can I introduce you to Veronica Greengrass nee Rivers, Veronica, this is the much talked about Harry James Potter Lord of House Potter and House Black."

Harry brushed the hand: "Nice to meet you, Lady Greengrass, I read a few of mother's journals, she was quite fond of you. I am sorry for not contacting you sooner, but I have a lot of catching up to do."

Mrs. Greengrass answered: "I was planning to contact you before Lord Potter, my daughter advised me against it due to your animosity at all things Slytherin."

Harry sighed: "That was true, induced with mind-altering spells, compulsion charms, and a variety of potions Lady Greengrass, and please, all of you can call me Harry. At the moment I am neutral to all Houses, after all, those are just some places we sleep for seven years, and they can not define who or what we are."

Amelia nodded: "Wise words Harry, may I introduce Andromeda Tonks nee Black? Andi, meet your newly minted Lord Black."

Harry brushed Andromeda's hand: "Please to meet you, Mrs. Tonks, although you are a cousin, can I call you aunt Andromeda?"

Andromeda pulled Harry into a hug: "Just aunt Andi is fine Harry. We tried to find you for years, but Dumbledore refused us to visit you."

Chicken! Padawan! Cop a feel on that ass! Bummer, he is not into Milfs. A missed opportunity if you ask me.

Harry finally hugged her back: "I am done hiding now, it is time Dumbledore pays for his crimes. We have information about him that will shake Wizarding Britain. And welcome back into House Black Aunt Andi."

"Mum? Why are Lord Black's hands on your bum?"

Harry jumped back as if he was stung: "I did not have my hands there!… Hey! Don't accuse me like that! It is in my Contract that I am not allowed liberties with other females. A breach of contract can cost me a lot."

Amelia chuckled: "You have me for a witness that you didn't Harry. Auror Tonks, that was not a nice way to greet your new Lord."

Andi added: "We will have words about proper etiquette at home Nymphadora. Harry? You are already under a contract?"

Harry pointed at aunt Amelia: "Yes, with Aunt Amelia's niece Heiress Primary Susan Bones, and Heiress Hannah Abbot. Both for House Potter. Currently, they are looking through courting and marriage offers that came with the mail."

Harry took revenge on Tonks and grinned: "You are in the positive pile Nymphadora. Aren't you glad?"

Padawan, that was mean. I love it! See the color of her hair shifting, ah between Pink and red.

Tonks was puzzled: "What in Morgana's name are you talking about Harry?"

Harry smiled innocently: "Why, your courting offer of course. Susan and Hannah are seriously considering you as a candidate."

"Mum? What did you do?"

Andi shrugged: "It is the proper thing to do, and he is an acceptable marriage candidate so I proposed a courting contract for you. If things don't work out you can always end it. At least then you have tried."

Wow! Now she is flipping! Tonks's hair shifted all through the spectrum, it got stuck as a rainbow… I hope it isn't the one Dumbles fucked though. My Imaginary Popcorn got a refill, this is better than those reality shows.

Those shows are fake, I mean nobody behaves naturally when a camera is pointed at them. Go Padawan! I would cheer, but I don't have pom poms and have hairy legs.

Throat slicer and Rusty Blade interrupted my show, Rusty Blade: "Lord Black-Potter, it is time for your claim on House Slytherin, Madam Bones, can you act as a Ministry witness?"

Amelia nodded: "Lady Greengrass and Mrs. Tonks too, please. My niece is in a courtship contract with Lord Potter, so extra witnesses are needed."

Throat Slicer came to the point: "Follow us to the stage, and you can claim it here, Lord Potter-Black."

In passing, Tonks whispered: "This is not over squirt, we are going to have words about it."

Harry just grinned, is Padawan going to be a player? Not a month ago he was a timed little kid. I claim Credit!

Harry went up the stage, donned the ring, and raised his wand upwards: "I Harry James Potter, Lord of House Potter and House Black, Claim House Slytherin and Gaunt, by right of Conquest, Magic, and blood. So. Mote. it. Be!"

Hmm? Did padawan add some extras? Ah, it makes sense, Tom is from the Gaunt line with a little claim on Slytherin. I hope he can keep his finger intact, if the ring refuses him he will lose a finger.

A full minute later the ring gave a bright flash, and Lord Slytherin could go on his quest to find him a wife or two… three.

As if summoned… it was summoned, the Gaunt ring appeared on Harry's finger. Swearing, he removed the ring, the withering curse was activated already!

Shit! I slammed the counter curse in Harry's brain, and to my relief, he cast it immediately. I am getting slack for that, I am sure of it.

Harry presented the ring to Throat Slicer: "I think I saved you a trip to Little Hangleton. As I said, I need the ring in one piece please."

Carefully Throat Slicer accepted the ring: "That was some fast reaction Lord Potter-Black, we can offer you a career as a curse breaker if this is an indication of your talent."

Amelia protested: "The Auror department needs men like him more!"

Tonks tried to be funny: "With that many wives he will be too exhausted to do anything."

Harry glared at her, not being able to come up with a proper comeback, he just stared.

Lady Greengrass commented: "May I suggest my daughter Daphne and her friend Tracy Davis for House Slytherin? You have a similar agreement for House Potter."

Go Padawan! Two girls for a House! That gets the tally on eight! Tonks might be right, the poor boy will be too exhausted to do anything.

A quick visit to the Vaults got Harry some books, the previous Lords were cheapskates, the name might be impressive, but the contents of the Vaults are not. Harry even had to pay to reactivate the vaults and some back rent.

Xxxxx

Totally spent, Harry came home, crashed on his favorite couch, and groaned when he saw two curious girls looking at him.

Susan: "Tell us harry."

"There is not much to tell Susan, Draco refused to swear he did not carry the mark, I fear he got branded. Lupin however could not swear that he put my interests above Dumbledore's, that hurt a lot.

Sirius was on to the schemes of Dumbledore and wanted to take me home from the train.

Bellatrix and Narcissa are kicked out of House Black and Andromeda Tonks nee Black was invited back in.

Ron and Hermione each received 10 000, and Hermione can have ten books from the Library. I put Hermione and her parents under House Potter and Black protection and gave her the wardstones. I think Ron expected more, he left before I could give them to him. Can you select a single and a double room for Hermione and her parents and get them ready, in case of an emergency?"

Susan nodded: "Tomorrow we will select them with Winky."

Harry continued his report: "My parents will reading went fine, Lupin got a cottage and 50 000 Galleons, that is all he ever is going to receive from House Potter, I assure you.

I claimed Slytherin and as you suggested Gaunt although I have no clue why. It triggered Lady Greengrass to recommend Daphne and Tracey for House Slytherin.

I also might have teased Don't-Call-Me-Nymphadora Tonks that she has a courting offer to me. She did not know her mum did that."

Hannah hugged my side: "It was the easiest way to get the ring Harry, you told us it was behind powerful wards."

Harry sighed: "It was easy Hannah, the withering curse on the ring wasn't, I was glad the counter curse popped in front of my mind, or I could lose a hand or my life."

Both girls gasped, they did not expect a deadly curse on a Lord's ring, usually, they are only for protection and accepting the new Lord.

Susan hugged Harry's other side: "We are so sorry to put you in danger Harry, we should have explained our reasons for it yesterday."

Yeah, you should have, also, you should have said that without snogging Padawan's brains out. I could have warned him about the curse in my letter.

Harry sighed: "It is alright Susan and Hannah, in a way I am glad, now I know that Obi-Wan isn't peeking at us when we are kissing."

Hey! I have standards! Not a lot, but I have some. Alright! One or two.

Hannah pecked his lips: "Dinner is waiting for you My Lord. Peggy expects us home by ten. We are going to make it up to you."