A/N: A friend of mine on here convinced me to post this in case anyone might laugh from it, so if you don't like it, blame her XD.

Chapter 1

"Have a good hunt, Tanya?" Irina called from Kate's lap as the coven leader strode through the front door.

"Yes, I certainly did." Tanya hung up her coat, something she always wore just in case there might be a required human interaction. She took off her shoes, placing them lightly on the shoe rack before heading towards where her coven had been relaxing in the living room. The house had been newly renovated and cleaned, and despite being able to clean or fix anything that possibly could happen in the house, Tanya still wanted to be incredibly careful and not ruin the "newness" of the house. While Kate teased her constantly for it, even she knew not to try and push her luck; which was why the entire coven didn't wear shoes in the house until Tanya relaxed her obsessive behavior.

"Did anything happen while I was away?" All of Tanya's coven appeared to be in a happy mood, but there was this thoughtful look to them, as if they were all trying to figure something out.

"Actually, yes. The Cullens called." Eleazar started, his brow furrowing. "As you know, they moved to Forks in recent years, and—"

Suddenly, a strange sound reached all of their ears, but for some strange reason, it seemed to be coming from everywhere yet nowhere, even to the vampires' heightened senses. Everyone froze, on alert, trying to prepare for whatever was coming as they searched for the source.

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—"

Tanya looked up just as the skylight above them all broke, sending shattered glass raining down on the. She had only a second to register something coming at her at near vampire speeds. Something somewhat human like, something covered in orange, red, blue, and was that...feathers? And glitter?

"—UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—"

The sound, it was certainly coming from the thing coming down on Tanya. In another second, the thing would be upon her.

"—UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—"

Her floors, her house...her brand new, renovated, spotless house. Tanya had to do something, but what? How could she get rid of the clear mess coming at her, the mess that was already in her home?

"—UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—"

No choice. She had to protect her home as best as she could. Despite her expensive clothes, Tanya readied herself, opening her arms as she prepared to catch the ball of chaos that had broken into her home.

"—UCK!" Whatever was coming out of the thing's mouth ended with a grunt as it landed in Tanya's arms with such force, the floor under Tanya cracked and gave way. Liquid splattered everywhere; on the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor, on Tanya. On the entire coven, really. No one escaped unscathed, and no one seemed able to react to what exactly had just happened in their own home. All they could do was stare at Tanya and whatever she had caught, now in a crater at least three feet deep right in the center of the living room.

As feathers and glitter continued to float to the ground, someone finally managed to speak.

"What the hell just happened?" Kate managed to blurt out, torn between wanting to protect her coven, wanting to laugh, and wanting to run from the inevitable explosion of their coven leader.

Tanya, still horrified, couldn't answer. She could only stare down at the thing in her arms, analyzing it with both eyes and nose. The thing in her arms was actually a girl, dressed in the strangest way possible; it appeared she was dressed in a vampire costume, with a cape and plastic fangs, as well as one of those now broken disguise glasses with the fake big nose and bushy eyebrows and mustache. Between her eyes and nose, Tanya could tell the girl was covered not just in blue, green, and brown paint, but curry. So much curry. The smell of human food made her want to gag, and now it was all over the living room. Worst of all was the feathers and glitter, both multi colored, the kind that would be found at a cheap and gaudy party. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of it all over the girl...and now, of course, the cursed things were all over the living room and the coven. The feathers were one thing, but even as a vampire, Tanya knew glitter would be appearing for months, if not years, around the house, regardless of what Tanya did to try and clean it.

Tanya soon found herself shaking. Despite having just hunted, her eyes turned completely black with fury, and she wanted nothing more to tear into the girl in her arms simply for destroying her home.

The girl in her arms groaned then, eyes fluttering, and then they opened. Dark brown eyes met black, at first clouded with confusion, and then widening in fear. Immediately, the girl jumped out of Tanya's arms, causing another cloud of glitter, paint, curry, and feathers to dust the room. Sensing how much danger she was in, the girl immediately held up her hands in surrender, flicking even more liquid all over the house, and hitting Tanya right on the forehead.

"I can explain," the girl claimed.

Tanya lunged anyways.