A/N: As much as I hate to say it, the time has come: I think 'Idiot's Guide' deserves a few (several?) more solid chapters and a good, strong ending. How should it all end? Hmm…

Thanks for reading this far!

Chapter 13

Calleigh woke up the next morning to an empty bed. However, the mystery behind Eric's absence was quickly solved: her keen ears picked up on the clanking of dishes coming from the kitchen. Mmmm, man that smells good. The scent of pancakes and bacon and percolating coffee wafted through the door to Eric's bedroom, and Calleigh was content to just languish in bed for a while and breathe in the aroma.

A quick glance to the clock told her it was still early; she had time. So, burrowing further underneath Eric's covers, Cal happily closed her eyes for another twenty minutes, until the dwindling sounds from the kitchen told her she should probably get up.

Eric looked up just in time to see a beautiful morning version of his favorite person padding barefoot into his kitchen. I could get used to that sight, he thought with a grin as Calleigh yawned and rubbed the sleepies from her eyes. She climbed gracefully onto a bar stool and set her elbows on top of the island.

"Whatcha cookin'?" she asked by way of greeting.

Eric's grin grew wider. "Well, I don't have much," he admitted, indicating the eggs and bacon on the stove, "but it'll do. Fried or over medium?"

Those were Calleigh's two favorite ways to eat her eggs, and he did well to ask which one she was currently in the mood for: it changed frequently. "Hmmm. Over medium. Wait—yeah, over medium."

"Your wish is my command," Eric chuckled quietly. He turned his back to his best friend to finish the last touches of their breakfast.

A few minutes later, he and Calleigh were seated silently at his dining room table, staring at what had turned out to be a rather large breakfast spread of grapefruit, pancakes, grits, bacon, eggs, and toast, topped off with fresh juice and coffee.

They said nothing to each other as the food slowly vanished, only alternating quiet, curious glances between them. Eric was dying to ask Calleigh why, and she was dying to know why he hadn't asked her yet. She could see the concern in his eyes, though, and she knew the answer. He'd pressed her so hard before she walked out, he needed to know that she was there because she wanted to be, not because of some misplaced sense of guilt for hurting him. When their eyes locked again, Calleigh reached over and placed a gentle hand on top of Eric's. She gave it a quick squeeze, then pulled away.

Eric set down his fork and reached for his coffee, considering her actions as he took a long sip. Replacing his mug on the table, he said slowly, "Cal, when you're ready to talk about it…I'd really like to know what you're thinking."

Calleigh's lips turned up in a soft smile, and she ducked her head thoughtfully. "Right now…I'm thinking I could use some more juice," she said and held out her cup imperiously.

Eric rolled his eyes. "Of course, your highness." They both grinned as he took her glass and obediently headed for the pitcher of juice chilling in the refrigerator. Both of them let out breaths they didn't know they'd been holding, because the laughter was finally back in their lives, laughter which had been absent for two weeks, and that they never wanted to lose again.

"Thank you," Calleigh said happily when Eric returned with her juice. She leaned both her elbows on the table and sipped it silently, thinking carefully about the road they were walking. The destination, the pace, even the conditions of their journey—Eric had selflessly placed it all in her hands.

"How 'bout we make a deal?" she offered at length.

Eric set down his fork a second time and swallowed his bite of eggs. "Okay…"

Calleigh's eyes never left Eric's as she laid out the terms of their agreement. "We finish breakfast, get cleaned up, then we go find some neutral territory."

Eric nodded, and Cal saw that he understood what she was trying to say. They'd made love in this place, and having a heavy, life-altering discussion here would be difficult, at best. They needed to find a place where the memories and the ghosts were absent, where they could think freely without influence from the past.

"Then, we'll talk. Really talk, this time. Okay?" Eric noticed a change in her demeanor, almost like…like she was giving in. Not in the sense of surrender and defeat that comes from battle, but in that unique way that compromise has of bolstering your spirit—give a little, gain a lot. Calleigh was nervous, but she was determined to meet him half-way.

"That sounds fair." Eric held her eyes for a few seconds longer before breaking their contact. He wanted to add, 'I'm really glad you're here, Calleigh,' but he bit his tongue; she was in his home, proffering an olive branch, but she still needed space, both physically and emotionally. He settled for a meaningful look and three words he hoped could convey how glad he was to see her.

An hour later, Calleigh appeared in Eric's living room fresh-faced and wearing some of the extra clothes she kept upstairs in the spare room. With the exception of that…one night…she usually stayed in the guest room, and a lot of her things had somehow collected there over time.

"You ready to go?" she asked quietly.

Eric set down the magazine he was reading and pulled himself up off the couch. "Yep." He walked over to the kitchen island and added a few last-minute items to the cooler on the counter. "I figured we can go to North Shore, take lunch with us."

"Sounds good to me," Calleigh replied. Her nervousness was growing exponentially the closer they came to talking, and the fearful part of her was now wondering why she'd ever come back in the first place. She was at least grateful that Eric picked such a busy place for them to go. North Shore Open Space Park was a popular destination for joggers and families and gangs of young professionals playing Ultimate Frisbee on the weekends.

It was also located almost exactly three miles south of Calleigh's house in Bal Harbour, and from Eric's place in North Miami, they could be there in less than fifteen minutes. That was one of the many things she liked about living so close to her best friend—they were both familiar with the same parts of town, and they never had to fight about restaurants or movie theaters. Or which park to pick for a monumental and potentially heart-shattering discussion about their future…

"Calleigh, Calleigh!" Eric called. Her head snapped up and a faint blush fanned across her cheeks as she realized Eric had been trying to get her attention. Now, his eyes were scrutinizing her closely. Taking a step toward her, he said gently, "I'd tell you we don't have to do this, Calleigh, but you and I both know that's not true. Sooner or later…sooner or later we need to talk. If you need more time, I'll understand."

Calleigh's eyes filled with tears at the compassion in Eric's voice. She shook her head and gave a watery laugh. "I've made you wait long enough, Eric. It's fine."

Eric took another step forward and reached out a hand to rest on Calleigh's forearm. "It's not fine, not if you're not ready. Cal, I'm okay with waiting, really, as long as I know you're not just going to run away. Sorry…" He bit his lip, realizing how that might sound to her.

"No, you're only being honest. And that's what I want, Eric," Calleigh insisted. "Just…not here."

Eric grinned. "I agree." He grabbed the cooler and motioned for her to lead the way. "So, let's go."

Together, the pair made their way out the door to Eric's car, where Calleigh climbed in the passenger seat while Eric loaded the cooler in the back. A minute later, they were on their way.

"You still have this CD?" Cal queried in amusement halfway into the drive. She hit 'eject' and the CD slid smoothly out of the player. Before she could remove it, Eric slapped her hand away.

"Nah-ah-ah," he scolded. "Hands off." He carefully pushed the disc back into the player, cueing it to his favorite track.

"That thing's ancient, Eric. What happened to the new mix I made you?" Calleigh asked, opening the glove compartment to search through his CDs.

"I like this one, and your mix is in my stereo back home. C'mon, Cal," Eric complained, reaching across the car to shut the glove box. "We're almost there, anyway."

Calleigh smiled at the easy way their banter had crept into the car and dispelled all the tension, almost without either of them noticing. They were almost to the park by now, and she felt much more at ease. "Fine. But when we get back in, I'm picking the music."

"Fine. Next time we ride in your car, I'm DJ," Eric countered stubbornly.

"Deal."

A song and a half later, and Eric and Calleigh were pulling into the North Shore parking lot. The far side of the park ran into the ocean, but the rest of it was full of green fields, playgrounds, and picnic tables. Spying an ideal spot, Eric led them to a table under a shade tree where they could overlook almost the entire park, including the beach. The calling gulls, laughing kids, and crashing waves offered the perfect amount of background noise: enough to concentrate on while they talked, but not enough to distract.

"This one?" he asked.

"Perfect. Do you have any water in there?"

Eric removed the lid to the cooler and shifted a few of the items around to find what he was looking for. His hand reappeared bearing two bottles of water. He set them on the table and moved the cooler to the ground and out of sight. Then, he took a seat facing Calleigh.

"Thanks for being patient with me, Eric," she said as soon as he was settled. Her eyes darted to her fingers, playing with the label on her bottle. "I know it hasn't been easy."

Eric nodded thoughtfully and looked down at his own water bottle. "This isn't just about me. I understood why you needed time."

"Yeah, but I at least could have called you," Calleigh said, peering repentantly across the table at Eric.

"Yeah," he smiled. "A phone call would have been good. But you're here now. That's worth something."

"It is," she agreed. "Hear me out for a minute?"

Eric nodded again.

Calleigh took a deep breath and steeled her nerves. "You have to understand that—that two weeks ago I had a boyfriend, and Speedle was buried, and I thought the past was in the past. And suddenly, the whole world flipped upside down. Jake's gone. Tim came back, sort of…"

"I know what you mean."

"Yeah, and then there's, there's you. I'm sorry for the way I handled things. And don't tell me I had a right to react that way," Calleigh added quickly when Eric tried to interrupt her. "Some of the things I said to you…they weren't just said in anger, Eric."

"They weren't true."

Calleigh shook her head with regret and a little embarrassment. "No. Not all of them," she sighed. "I just, I need you to understand why I ran—it's because I've spent three years running. We never talked, Eric, not about Tim, or about being together. We stopped talking altogether. I didn't come to you about my dad or Hagen until it was too late. I didn't talk to you about resigning from firearms…"

"…I started screwing around, you had to find out from Horatio that Marisol was sick…"

"Exactly," she concluded sadly. "As terrible as it sounds, your shooting was the best thing to happen to us in a long time. I almost lost my best friend, and I realized for the first time just how much that would hurt."

"Calleigh—"

"I'm in love with you, Eric."

Calleigh's blunt confession knocked the wind clear out of Eric's chest. At first he couldn't speak it all, only stare ahead at the woman of his dreams. "You're—you're what?" he asked in shock.

"I'm in love with you." She gave Eric time to digest what she'd said, but when he still didn't respond, she continued. "I'm scared to death right now, Eric. I needed time to get my head on straight. We were blindsided, you know? But…ten days was too long."

Eric finally found his tongue. "Is that why you came back?"

Calleigh's cheeks blushed pink, and her eyes darted away from Eric's for a second before she answered quietly, "I missed you." Seeing hope spring to life in the man's gaze, she sought quickly to make sure he knew exactly what she was putting on the table. "Eric, I'm not promising you anything, but I at least want to talk about it. Okay? I'm not ready to go through the same heartache as before."

Eric sighed and reached across the table to take Calleigh's hands in his. "I'm not either." He played with her fingers for a moment, thinking. "I never meant to hurt you, Cal."

She ran her thumbs over the back of his knuckles. "And I never wanted to hurt you. We just…did."

"So, you think we still have a shot?" Eric asked hopefully.

Calleigh grinned. "Grandma Adelaide used to say: 'First the stalk then the roots.' Desire—that's easy. Needing someone is easy, and it always comes first."

Eric laughed and pulled his hands back from Calleigh's, his fingers tingling from the contact. "Mmm, well, we've got that one down pat." His laughter trickled to a smile. "I get what you mean, though. We know we…need…each other," he said, looking to Cal for confirmation. She nodded, and he added, "But needs have to be met."

"In a healthy way. Wanting each other isn't enough."

"Love needs support…So, what else did Grandma Adelaide have to say?" he asked curiously.

Calleigh tilted her head to look at Eric thoughtfully. "Every dog should have a few fleas," she answered, smiling. "We're not perfect. We're not supposed to be. But if we love each other…"

"…the fleas don't itch so bad?"

Cal burst into laughter. "Something like that. I think…"

Calleigh's laughter was music to Eric's ears. As he looked at her across the table, the mood shifted suddenly between them. 'I'm in love with you, Eric.' He couldn't forget how those words sounded coming from her lips, and he knew he had to lay it all on the line.

"Tell me what I have to do to make this work, Calleigh. Tell me it's not too late."

Fire was clawing its way up Calleigh's throat, but she fought it off with a ladylike cough and a small sniffle. The moisture in her eyes, however, wasn't as easy to dispel.

"It's not too late," she whispered. "Eric, listen to me. We've gone with our feelings for so long—I just want to sit and talk this out. I need, I need to know what you want. I need to see the big picture before we just leap into something blind."

Eric leaned forward and placed his elbows confidently on the table. "Okay, then. Let's talk."

Again, Calleigh smiled. "Okay, then. First rule: you stay over there and I stay over here."

They'd unconsciously kept their distance from one another across the picnic table, with the exception of the brief contact of their hands. For the same reasons they needed neutral territory away from Eric's condo, they needed to maintain reasonable boundaries now. Eric certainly understood why Calleigh would make that their first rule—any kind of proximity to her usually influenced his ability to think rationally.

"Okay," he said, outlining an invisible box between them. "Space is good. Second rule?"

Calleigh thought about it for a second. "Don't leave anything out. If you're thinking it, share it."

Eric nodded in approval. "Brutal honesty, got it."

"And third…listen. I promise I'll try to understand what you're telling me, if you promise to do the same."

Eric paused guiltily. "We haven't been doing much of that the last few years, have we?"

"No, not really. Eric, when I said I missed you, I—I wasn't just talking about the last ten days. I miss my best friend. I miss who we used to be before the world went sideways. Seeing all of Tim's pictures…"

"We were happy, weren't we?"

"Yeah," Cal sighed. "We were. Really happy. I miss the way it feels to be happy like that." A lone tear snaked slowly down her cheek from the corner of her eye. "I can't even remember anymore."

The corner of Eric's mouth slanted up into a grin. "I can. And I bet you can, too, Cal. It wasn't that long ago."

She sniffed and wiped away another tear. "I guess you're right."

"Yes, I am," he said, very sure of himself. "So, about this talk…I just need to know one thing."

"Hmm."

"Do you want lunch now, or after? Because I'm getting pretty hungry."

Calleigh saw the smirk on Eric's face and rolled her eyes. "You just ate."

"Cal, look at your watch," he laughed.

She did, and gasped at the time. Had they really eaten breakfast that long ago? "Now that you mention it, lunch does sound pretty good…"

They unloaded the contents of the cooler and dug in to a healthy lunch, just enjoying the breeze and the sound of the ocean for a while. Eric really was hungry, but he also knew that they needed some kind of emotional reprieve before they dove into the craziness that was 'them.' Later that afternoon, he'd look back on his decision gratefully; by the time Calleigh and Eric would leave North Shore, they'd be exhausted and exhilarated, in every sense of both words.

Just so Grandma Adelaide doesn't steal all the thunder:

"First the stalk—then the roots. First the need—then the means to satisfy that need. First the nucleus— then the elements needed for its growth."

Robert Collier