Garrus sat numbly in the CO's cabin aboard the Normandy as he absently cleaned his pistol. His arms worked on autopilot as he remained trapped inside his memories. Happy times; remembering her smile, her eyes, her laugh. They seemed to keep playing on in his mind in an endless waltz of self inflicted torture.

He didn't remember much of what happened after the Normandy had extracted him and the others. He tried to follow after her as her hand left his cheek but Ashley held him close and dragged him back to the medical bay.

He immediately tried to surge forward as she set him down, but she slammed him back down just as swiftly. He tried again to move, his adrenaline was in high gear and he had to be at her side because damn it who else was going to watch her?

That's when he felt the Normandy twitch and go into FTL mode.

'No!'

His brain was screaming at him, even though his body was so badly banged up, it complied to move.

'Get up! I said get up damn you!'

His mind was a little foggy on who, or what happened next so he'd differed to the security feed of med bay. It felt as though he was watching some violent animal thrashing about trying to get loose as the oddball mix of the Normandy crew tried to lay him back on the med table.

No matter how many times he'd watched and reviewed this feed, the next part was always crystal clear, and forever seared into his mind; Dr. Chakwas had very nimbly maneuvered an injector and slammed it right into his artery as the Normandy fully engaged FTL and made space tracks away from the Crucible.

Here he was confused. In his mind, he remembered clearly falling asleep and whispering her name while reaching out for her, while in the feed it showed him yell at the top of his voice for the whole ship to hear above the encroaching roar of the Crucible firing, just as the injector made purchase.

"JANE!"

When he'd woken up, restrained to the table no less, Karin sealed the door with her own private code, poured three glasses of Serrice Ice Brandy, and told him everything.

Jane Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy and those who lived in it several times over, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz, the first human Spectre in all the Milky Way Galaxy, a Paragon of duty, his heart and soul, was gone to the stars.

Karin knocked back her glass, while the best Garrus could do was nurse his and clink Jane's.

'See you at the bar.'

Garrus looked down at his pistol all clean, all assembled, and all armed.

He felt his talon ghost over the finish softly as her smile and voice came ringing so clearly in his ears he thought she was right there with him.
He wasn't even aware he'd raised the pistol up under his mouth until he caught a flash from her terminal.

It was then that he caught his reflection, and slowly lowered the sidearm, feeling his arm shake as he dropped it harmlessly on the bedding beside him.

She'd made him promise and here he was about to FAIL that promise to her.

Garrus felt a myriad of emotions swirling around in his gut; anger, pain, guilt. Oh so much guilt. He would've bellowed out again for the entire ship to hear if he didn't see the flash from the terminal again.

Controlling his breathing he got up and walked over to her terminal before tapping it on and entering the password they had both shared after the Collector assault.

He froze mid keystroke as what was now a horribly bittersweet dream echo in the hollow canyon of his mind.

He breathed in deep again as the image of Jane spinning the tiny Turian girl in her arms made him pause for just a moment, before he calmly pushed it aside for later and finished entering the password.

"Hello Garrus."

The voice surprised him at first, until the video came into focus and there she was again. Right in front of him. He actually reached out before he mentally pinched himself and pulled away as the recording continued.

"I know that if you're seeing this I didn't make it."

She took in a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair before looking up again.

"I have so much I want to say, but I hardly know the words or if there are any that'll tell you how I feel about those dreams we had."

He actually narrowed his eyes at the recording. He hadn't told her about his dream, so did that mean?

"Oh don't you dare sit there and tell me you didn't picture what life would be like after this hell was over."

She glanced down before returning her attention to him again, almost embarrassed and shy.

"You would make a good Daddy, Garrus. I'd have been the most privileged woman in the galaxy to know that my child's Dad was you."

This time he DID reach out and trace her cheek as he murmured softly.

"No, I'd be the privileged one Jane. Me and our children."

She seemed to smile up in a shy, wobbly fashion as the first tears trailed down her cheeks.

"It's not fair Garrus. IT'S NOT FAIR!"

She pounded the desk hard and he could hear her sobs even as she tried to smother them by hunching over the desk.

"Oh Jane."

He cooed softly as he made to stroke her hair like before.

As though reacting to the touch, she immediately ceased and became silent, before peeking up over her arms.

"Is it selfish of me to say that I liked the idea of moving away to somewhere warm and seeing if biology might work just once for us?"

She sat up and looked down again, before shaking her head softly. Then she laughed and leaned back, giving him a perfect image of her body in the same tank top as the Collector run. Ah the memories he'd come to associate with that piece of fabric.

He had to admit, whatever human had made it more than earned their credits making it in his opinion. After all the times he'd almost torn it off her and it was still able to be used for wear, he'd have given that person a raise even as he cursed their name.

He paused for a moment at the unwanted light fluttering in his stomach.

At first he wanted to angrily shove it aside, but he stopped and focused on Jane, and like a seed in rich earth that light took root.

He almost missed what she said next.

"-wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl?"

He felt his heart stop and shakily reversed the recording just after her face filled the screen again, her face framing a loving smile.

"Of course I should say; see if biology will work AGAIN. Can't let our little one be all alone out here."

Her smile broadened as she rubbed her still flat stomach before looking up to him with wide wondering eyes.

"I wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl? Maybe twins?"

She bit her lip as she resumed rubbing her stomach.

"I'm sorry Garrus, I wanted to tell you, but the timing just wasn't right."

Garrus was on his feet staring down in shock.

Jane was pregnant? With his child?

He was about to say something to the recording when it cut him off.

"Garrus. It was my choice. Every night when we were out gathering our allies for the final fight, I kept wanting to take you and the Normandy and just let the Reapers have the galaxy. But I couldn't. Not with the nightmares."

She gripped her stomach fiercely as she leveled furious eyes to him.

"Every night I dreamt our child would be taken. Ripped from my arms with you dying at my feet and Husks swarming around us. I was not going to subject others to that and you know it Garrus Vakarian!"

Garrus actually fell back beside the toppled chair in shock as the recording glared at him with enough heat that he felt it on his scales. Damn! What a woman! He smiled weakly, that's how they were. She was his calm, and he was hers when she exploded in fury that would make Wrex proud.

Garrus set up the chair and sat down again as the recording drew to a close.

"I'm going to make you promise me something Vakarian. If this all does end, and I'm not there to tell you this news then live. Please Garrus, promise me that. You have so much more than you realize. Please my love, live."

She set a gentle hand on her stomach as she reached out to touch the screen with her other.

"For all three of us, please, live."

Garrus's hand slowly reached up and pressed against hers.

"I will."

He promised quietly, as the thick atmosphere that had been in the cabin dissipated, and a cleaner fresher one took its place.