The oak flooring creaked beneath Elizabeth's bare feet as she padded from one room to another and back again. The apartment wasn't particularly spacious so the view was becoming a little monotonous, but that didn't stop her pacing. The tatty old cardigan slung loosely across her shoulders had seen better days and her plaid pyjama bottoms dragged across the floor with every step. The light from the freezer supplied brief illumination as Elizabeth retrieved the half empty carton of butter pecan ice cream and grabbed a fork from the drawer, before returning to the arduous task of trying to make a decision.

Elizabeth didn't like making decisions. As an analyst, she could think on her feet and get things done at the snap of her fingers. But personal choices, well that was a whole different ball game. The simple truth was, most of the major occurrences in her life had been thrust upon her rather than brought about by conscious choice. Things tended to happen to her rather than her actually choosing them. She was a product of circumstance.

Her parents accident and subsequent death was solely at the hands of a drunk driver. She wasn't even there at the time but her whole life changed in an instant.

Boarding school had been Aunt Joan's decision. Having two teenage kids dumped upon her can't have been easy, Elizabeth hadn't seen it that way at the time, but now she was older and a little wiser, she knew Joan had done what was best for her and Will and was actually grateful for the opportunities it had presented.

University was more of a calling than anything else. UVA was where her parents had met and fallen in love, Where the story that had culminated in her existence had begun and it was a perfect way to honour them, It was almost pre determined. Written in the stars if you believed in that sort of thing.

Her career had pretty much fallen into her lap when Conrad Dalton had approached her and recruited her for the CIA before she even really knew what was happening. She got pulled along in a deep current of excitement and expectation and by the time she really thought about what she was doing, she was already ensconced in the company.

And as for her relationship with Simon, well that seemed to be a monumental disaster from the beginning. She let him take the lead and it had been comfortable. But even the end of that had been his decision. He had chosen to cheat. He had asked her to move out and that was it.

Elizabeth had been perfectly happy just going with the flow. Letting her life evolve as it wished without much real input needed from her. So, now that she was faced with, what felt like an impossible decision, she felt completely unprepared.

The ice cream was abandoned on the coffee table as she flopped down onto the couch, the cushions folding in around her to provide some much needed comfort. Andrew's words had been running on a loop in her head for well over a week -

"Once you know where he stands, you can work out where you need to be."

The problem was, Elizabeth was scared of where exactly Henry may be standing. She wasn't sure she was ready for him to want something serious. Yet she was pretty sure she'd be devastated if he didn't. She wanted the job but she wanted him too — At least, she thought she did.

And then came Simons words "You're so closed off and emotionally unavailable that anyone who even tries to get close to you will end up completely broken"

If she turned down the promotion and chose Henry, what would that do to both of them? She clearly wasn't good at making relationships work and she thought too much of Henry to risk hurting him. She could end up with nothing by trying to have everything and she couldn't do it again. She could not go back to being that scared and broken 15 year old girl who wanted to die. She had come too far and worked too hard to be consumed by that darkness again. And she sure as hell didn't want to inflict that on Henry.

Conrad needed an answer. She couldn't procrastinate any longer. A decision was expected and it was time to make it — She just had to do one last thing.

Picking up the phone, she dialled the number slowly, almost trying to give herself time to bail, but within a few rings — She heard Henry's voice.

"Hello."

"Hey Henry, it's me — Umm, Elizabeth."

"Hey — It's good to hear from you. Are you okay?"

She wanted to tell him how conflicted she was. How not seeing him or speaking to him for over a week had been torture, but she couldn't, not now — not over the phone.

"I'm fine — I was wondering, are you free tomorrow night? I'd really like to see you." Her tone was nonchalant even though inside she felt like screaming.

"Absolutely! What would you like to do? I can book somewhere or I can cook for you here? I don't care what we do as long as I get to see you."

Why did he have to be so damn sweet. It was making things a million times harder. "I'll come to you if that's ok? We really need to talk."

There was a long pause and then Henry sighed "Are you sure everything's okay? We can talk now if you want to?" The slight worry in his voice was clear.

"Honestly, everything's fine Henry. I'll see you tomorrow around eight."

"Sounds perfect — Oh and Elizabeth…"

"Yes."

"I've really missed you."

Her chest felt heavy and she had to quickly swallow down the lump in her throat "I've missed you too. Goodnight Henry."

She threw the phone onto the couch and prised herself from the cushions. The floorboards felt cool under her feet as she traipsed through to the bedroom. Just one more day and her future would be far more clear — Well that was the plan anyway.

Across town, Henry sat motionless, phone still in hand as he tried to digest her words. Whenever anyone said they wanted to talk, it usually didn't have a good outcome. It's exactly what he had said to Stacey before breaking up with her so this couldn't be good.

He didn't know what to think. His mind was completely empty. Ok, it wasn't empty at all. It was so full of Elizabeth there was no room for anything else. She filled every waking moment and most of his dreams. She was everywhere around him but nowhere all at the same time.

Henry honestly believed that Elizabeth was slowly letting her guard down as she'd opened up to him about her ex. The walls she'd built around herself were crumbling brick by brick and he could finally see who she truly was, and god was she beautiful inside and out.

After the perfect date in the park came the night that followed. Henry had never experienced anything like it in his life before. Elizabeth had trusted him to the point of letting herself go completely as she gave in to her deepest desires and it was magical. Henry had always believed that he was extremely well read on religion and the plethora of saints he'd studied — But that night was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get and every quote written about beauty or love must have been written just for Elizabeth. He was certain of it because she was the very definition of both.

That had been over a week ago and he hadn't set eyes on her since. She had breezed out of his apartment looking like a summer's day, leaving him with the most sinful of kisses and a promise on her lips of a repeat performance the following evening and then — Nothing.

How could she have gone from being so present and vulnerable with him to ghosting him. It didn't make any sense to him at all. Surely she couldn't have let herself go like that if she were just playing him —Could she? That's not who she was. He knew it wasn't and whatever was going on with her, he couldn't — No, he wouldn't entertain the notion that she would hurt him for fun.

The more he tried to rationalise, the more confused he became. He needed to see her so he could look into those piercing blue eyes and understand what was going on. He had missed her terribly and just hearing her voice for a few moments had set his heart racing. She was coming to see him. She wanted to talk so it was the perfect opportunity to let her know exactly how he felt. He just had to do that before she had a chance to end things.

His faith had taken a knock in the aftermath of his mother's death, but as he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge, he cast his eyes upwards and muttered "Please don't take her away from me too."

The flame belonging to the strategically placed candle in the middle of the table flickered as the air in the room felt thin and cold. Elizabeth moved her green beans around the plate with her fork, taking a small bite every once in a while to show willing, Her stomach was in knots and each mouthful only exacerbated the issue.

Henry was watching her, unable to force his gaze away. She was clearly working up to something bad, as she had barely managed two words since she arrived, yet she still looked as gorgeous as ever. And if she was about to break up with him, he was going to make damn sure he spent every last second taking her in.

From the moment they met in Calico's that Friday evening, there had been an ease between them that felt so natural. There hadn't been any awkward silences or forced conversations during their time together no matter what they did, it always seemed — right. So why did it now feel as if there was a huge chasm between them. A thick fog of unspoken words dragging them into confusion.

Henry pushed his chair back and busied himself clearing the dishes. They weren't eating what he'd cooked and sitting there in silence wasn't doing either of them any good. Elizabeth had come to talk, and that's what they were going to do — Regardless of the impending outcome.

Elizabeth moved to the couch and bundled herself into the corner, knees held to her chest as if attempting to create a barrier between herself and Henry. She was scared of her feelings but it was his that concerned her more.

When Henry sat at the opposite end and looked at her expectantly, she took and breath and the words tumbled out of her mouth

"This thing that we're doing — Me and you — What is it exactly?" Her words were tentative, testing the waters before diving in "I mean — Is there even an us?"

Henry stared at her, needing to buy some time while he attempted to collate his thoughts into some kind of order. Did he go with the truth? Or did he play down his feelings so as not to spook her. Why was she so impossibly difficult to read.

He offered her a wry smile "Ohhhh there's definitely an us."

She released the grip on her knees slightly and decided to just dive in "But what does that mean exactly Henry? Are we just fooling around and letting our physical desires lead this or is there more to it? I kinda need to know."

Henry studied her for a second. She was more nervous than he'd ever seen her and having been so adamant that she wasn't ready for anything serious, why was she suddenly needing confirmation of what they were — And then he had a realisation.

"Hang on! Elizabeth — Are you pregnant? Is that why you needed to talk tonight?"

She narrowed her eyes and glared at him "Oh for god sake — No I'm not pregnant Henry. But as you're the second person who's asked me that in the past week, maybe I need to cut down on the carbs or do more cardio."

The rolling of her eyes made Henry chuckle "I can help with the cardio."

She nodded and pushed herself up from the couch "So this is just about sex then. It's clearly physical, not emotional. Good to know." She crossed the room and grabbed her bag "Thanks for dinner."

"Hey — I never said that. And where are you going? Don't just walk out again. You wanted to talk, so let's talk."

Elizabeth sheepishly looked at the floor. "How do you feel about us Henry? About me? I'm so confused and It's just — There's something I need to tell you —"

Henry approached her and placed his finger under her chin, moving her head up so he could look at her properly. "I think you are the most challenging, opinionated, passionate individual I have ever met and I just can't work you out."

Elizabeth braced herself for the impending let down "Henry — "

His thumb traced her cheek bone and he could see the flashes of midnight in her eyes. "You are also ridiculously intelligent, kind, loving and so far beyond beautiful you literally take my breath away. The truth is Elizabeth — I think I'm a tiny little bit in love with you."

Her eyes widened and she let out a shakey breath "Excuse me?"

"Yeah — And I may actually have played that down a smidge. I'm quite deeply In love with you it seems."

"No you're not." Elizabeth shook her head "Don't say that."

"I'm sorry, it's true! But don't worry - It's nothing that a little aversion therapy can't fix. I'll be right as rain in a decade or two." His charming smile and use of humour did nothing to calm the storm inside her.

"I wasn't expecting — I wanted us to be something but — Fuck I think I need to sit down."

Henry pulled her close "I'm not expecting you to say it back. I don't need any promises or unrealistic expectations but this is how I feel and I'm not going to hide it. I just need to know that you feel something for me?"

"I feel a lot of somethings Henry." Their lips met in a searing kiss, the tension between them melting away as it deepened. Nothing else needed to be said. Nothing else mattered but them in that moment. Everything else could go to hell as long as they were together.

Henry pulled back and quirked his head "What did you need to tell me?"

Elizabeth shook her head "It doesn't matter right now. Just do one thing for me Henry… please?"

"Anything."

"Make love to me tonight like you really mean it. As if there will be no tomorrow. That's all I need from you."

Henry took her hand and led her to the bedroom. That he could definitely do.

Elizabeth was sprawled against Henry's chest, her body still sensitive and breathing just starting to return to some normality.. She had asked him to make love to her, to really mean it and he hadn't let her down. It was perfect and emotional and everything she could have wished for. It's what she now knew love felt like.

Henry was lazily rubbing the top of her shoulder, his fingertips tracing invisible patterns as he moved up and down her arm and then back to her shoulder. It was soothing and Elizabeth could feel her eyes getting heavy. But she couldn't sleep, not yet.

"Henry, did you mean what you said before? Out there, you know— Before we came in here and—"" She didn't move, too content in his arms.

Henry squeezed her that little big tighter. "Of course I meant it. I've fallen in love with you Elizabeth."

"Bad things happen to people who love me Henry."

Henry rolled his body and towered over her, "Hey — That's not true at all. Why would you think that?"

She hesitated, should she tell him about her parents. Or what Simon had said. Should she warn him to keep his heart away from her before she broke it. She had so many thoughts swirling around in her head that she felt dizzy. But those thoughts were for tomorrow. The darkness of the room was her escape, and Henry's arms were her protection and the morning was still far enough away.

"You know Henry — I don't want to think." Her eyes sparkled and a grin appeared on her lips "If there is no tomorrow and all we have is right now, we should really make the most of it."

"Did you have something specific in mind?" Henry's grin matched hers

Elizabeth cupped his face in her palm and pushed all thoughts away "Just love me Henry."