A/N - Don't hate me… That is all lol x
A deep, thunderous boom shook the bedroom window as the ominous black clouds rolled across the sky, unleashing a storm of biblical proportions. The raindrops hit the glass like shrapnel and the start of a new day had more of a resemblance to midnight. A flash of lightning lit up the space momentarily, and then disappeared as soon as it had arrived, plunging the room back into a colourless expanse of nothing.
Another clap of thunder rumbled outside, this time sounding slightly further away, but it was enough to disturb Henry from his deep sleep. His arms stretched out as he rolled over, reaching for Elizabeth so he could snuggle into her and drift back to sleep, but the sheets were cold and empty.
It was unusual for Elizabeth to be out of bed before him. They hadn't been together that long but the few times she had stayed over, she fidgeted like an octopus, all arms and legs, spreading out like a starfish. Usually dead to the world until she smelled coffee. It was one of the many things Henry loved about her. She was unique in all the right ways.
"Elizabeth baby — Come back to bed. My arms need to be wrapped around you for at least another hour before I let you go." His voice echoed around the room but was met with an eerie silence.
He prised himself out from under the duvet and pulled on his shorts. Elizabeth clearly had something on her mind. She'd tried telling him the night before but they had become somewhat distracted and she'd fallen asleep before he could ask her. He figured she was probably curled up on the couch under a blanket either fast asleep or deep in thought. Either way, he was determined to get her back into bed.
Henry peered around the bathroom door and finding it empty, he headed for the living room. The room was dark but he could see that she wasn't in there. A little wave of concern washed over him until visions of her face as he told her he loved her filled his mind and he let the worry go. They were together and happy. She had most likely popped out in search of pastries and would be back at any moment.
Henry padded through to the kitchen and absentmindedly poured the ground powder into the machine. He wasn't going to crawl back into bed without Elizabeth so he'd just make the coffee and wait for her to bring back food. After their conversation the previous evening, they were now both on the same page and they could focus on the future.
As the machine gurgled and spat and the aroma of Java filled the air, Henry ventured back into the lounge and clicked the tv on. He wasn't really all that interested in what was on the screen but a little background noise to drown out the sound of the rain pouring outside was welcome.
He reached for his glasses on the coffee table and that's when he saw it. The stark white envelope, propped up against a stack of books, Elizabeth's cursive writing adorning the front. His blood ran cold. He wasn't sure why he was having that reaction as he had no idea what the envelope contained. Yet, he had an ominous feeling that it wasn't going to be good.
He didn't want to open it. He wanted to remain in the blissful bubble they had created. She would be back any moment, with that gorgeous smile on her face and she would chastise him for being silly. The note was just to tell him that she'd popped out and would be back soon. Yes — That's all it was and if he just had his coffee and waited, she would be back.
Henry needed a distraction while he waited for her. He jumped in the shower and let the hot water cascade over his skin. The steam swirling around him soothing his mind. He had found the love of his life and he knew she loved him too, even if she wasn't ready to say it. He let his head fall back against the tiles and closed his eyes, visions of Elizabeth filling his head. The life they were going to create together. The children they would have. The home they would build. She had seeped into his very soul and he was going to cherish her for the rest of his life.
When the water started running cold, Henry stepped out and dried himself, pulling on the joggers that sat on top of the laundry basket. He searched around in the drawers for his old Guns n Roses t-shirt, but when he couldn't find it, he dragged a marine corp sweatshirt over his head instead.
Elizabeth still wasn't back and the longer he waited, the more he knew he was going to have to open that letter. The worst case scenario was that his declaration of love had spooked her and she needed some time to get her head around it. Once she realised that it was a good thing, she'd ring him or turn up at his door with some greasy Chinese food and they would fall into bed. Yep — It was all going to be just fine.
He paced the living room a few times, his eyes firmly fixed on the envelope. Her writing was taunting him. The way the letters swirled as they spelled his name and the memory of her writing her number on his palm made his stomach clench. Of course — Her number! Why hadn't he just called her to find out where she was? The storm had been a doozy and she was probably at her apartment getting some dry clothes.
He dialled the number quickly and the ringing filled his ears. "Come on Elizabeth — Pick up, pick up." He was expecting the answerphone to kick in but it just rang and rang and then eventually clicked and disconnected.
He grabbed the letter and stared at it for a second. Whatever was in it, he was going to fix it. She would be back and they were going to ease her worries and be happy. If he just kept telling himself that, it had to be true.
He perched on the edge of the couch and gently slid the paper out. With his glasses perched on the end of his nose he began reading.
Dear Henry.
How do I even begin to write this? What can I say that will ever make this any easier. I so wish I was as eloquent as the saints you hold so dear. They would know what to say far better than I do, but I will have to try my best.
We have just made love and you're fast asleep, that little piece of hair falling across your face, moving with every breath you take. I didn't want to leave the comfort of your arms Henry, I could honestly have stayed there forever. But here I am, sitting on your floor, writing a letter that I don't want to write as the rain pours outside and my heart is breaking. Not just for me, but for what I know this will do to you.
The thing is, an opportunity has arisen at work, a promotion of sorts, that will allow me to further my career and make a real difference. I have a chance to implement my ideas in a way that will change things for the better. Well, at least that is the aim. It is something I have been working hard for and It's something I really want and quite honestly, it's something I really need. I have been drifting for a long time and I need to find my place in this world. It's just a rather cruel twist of fate that in order to do this, I have to go overseas and leave you behind.
I have been battling with this for over a week and genuinely, up until last night I still didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about this Henry, I swear I did. But I didn't have the courage. I know you would have asked me to stay and I would have. I would have stayed because I want to be with you but I know that would have been immensely selfish of me so I have to do the right thing for both of us.
You see, anyone who loves me ends up getting hurt. I am emotionally unavailable and closed off. I'm not even sure I'm capable of love anymore. I don't want to be this way, but I refuse to ruin your life while trying to improve mine. I know you are hurting right now Henry but believe me when I say it would be so much worse if I stayed. You would end up despising me and I couldn't bear that. Relationships and all the beauty that goes with them just aren't meant for me.
You are the most incredible person I have ever been blessed enough to meet and I will miss you with every part of my being. You brought me to life Henry. You made me feel things I've never felt before and you allowed me to dream of happiness, even if just for a short while.
I hope that one day you can forgive my choices and know that I never meant to hurt you. This is just something I have to do.
Thank you for loving me Henry.
Elizabeth xx
Henry's whole body sagged into the cushions as his eyes trailed across the page. The words falling around him like shattered glass. He read it again and again, desperately trying to find some glimpse of hope that this wasn't happening. Why hadn't he made her speak to him? Why had he slept so deeply as to not hear her leave. And why had he just lost another person from his life.
"No! No no no no — Fuuuuccckkkk — Elizabeth NO." His pained cries filled the apartment and the rain mirrored his feelings of devastation. He racked his brain trying to think of where she might be but then it dawned on him. She had never taken him back to her apartment so he had no idea where she lived. She had been somewhat vague to say the least about where she actually worked so that was a dead end. He didn't know her friends and she had never spoken about her family. He had to face it — She was gone and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.
Elizabeth stood at the cafe door and tapped on the glass. She had no idea what time it was. Her clothes were soaked through and her hair fell on her shoulders in bedraggled waves. She had driven home in a daze after leaving Henry's and when she couldn't think straight, she had gone out for a walk. She had no idea where she'd been, she just wandered around in the rain trying to make sense of everything and when she didn't know where else to go, she ended up at the cafe.
Greg looked up when he heard the knock and hurried to the door, unlocking the bolts and pulling Elizabeth inside.
"What in god's name are you doing out in that storm honey? You'll catch your death." He pulled out a chair and ushered her to sit "It's 5am, why are you out at this time Bess. Are you alright?" Greg was a nurturer. He liked to fuss and there was no stopping him "Andrew — We're going to need some coffee over here, and a towel — Bess is dripping on the floor."
Andrew was busy in the kitchen, preparing for the day. The ovens were on and he couldn't quite hear Greg above the wurr. "You know, I swear you just said Bess is dripping on the floor —" He stuck his head round the door and his jaw dropped "Oh my — It appears I heard you correctly."
He grabbed the pot and poured the steaming liquid into a cup "Here you go honey, drink that and I'll see if I can't find you something dry to put on." Andrew moved away from the table and ushered Greg to follow him. "Is she alright?"
"Well, she's wandering around in a thunderstorm at 5am without a jacket. My guess would be probably not."
"There's no need to be flippant Gregory.I'll get her a towel and I think I have a sweatshirt around here somewhere. You go and — Nurture."
"I'm sorry I keep coming here. I was just walking and I didn't know where else to go." Elizabeth offered Greg an apologetic shrug "I can go."
"You're not going anywhere honey. I'm glad you know you can come here. We've got you. Now what's happened? Did you make a decision?"
"Yep — And now I feel like the worst person in the world. I'm such a coward." Elizabeth wiped her cheek and Greg wasn't sure if it was merely remnants of the rain or if she was actually crying. "I've hurt him and I never meant it to happen."
"You listen to me Bess, you are no such thing. Whatever decision you've made, it's one that you feel is right. I know it may not feel like it, but you have a good heart my lovely."
She looked up at Greg and tilted her head in confusion "Why are you always so nice to me?"
"Because you make it so damn easy." Greg's smile was warm and comforting. Far more than she deserved.
Andrew appeared with an oversized sweatshirt and handed it to Elizabeth who quirked a brow "Seattle Mariners — Really?"
"Bedraggled beggars can't be choosers young lady. And I'll have you know I'm very proud of where I come from. Now go into the back and get that wet top off. There's a towel hanging on the coat hook." He nodded towards the storeroom "I'll get you something to eat."
When she was out of earshot, Andrew turned to Greg "I guess this means she's leaving?"
"Yeah — It looks that way. It's not gonna be the same without her, is it?"
"No, it really isn't. But — She has to follow her own path and she'll be back. She can't resist my apple muffins."
Greg sniggered "I'm sorry. That just sounded so full of innuendo."
Andrew rolled his eyes and headed towards the kitchen "You are such a child Gregory. It's a damn good job I love you in spite of it."
Elizabeth ate her blueberry pancakes in relative silence. She was still attempting to process and she could feel both Greg and Andrews eyes upon her.
She looked up and placed her fork down on the plate "I've decided to take the job. I'm leaving tomorrow."
The guys looked at each other and then back at her "That's — Really Soon."
"If I don't go now, I might not go at all. I've made the decision and there's no point in sticking around here any longer."
"Gee — Thanks." Greg frowned at her
"I didn't mean it like that. You know I love you both dearly. But the longer I'm close to where Henry is, the harder it is for me to leave. If I saw him, I'd stay and I just can't."
"Well — You never know. Life has a habit of throwing us a curveball every once in a while. You don't know what's around the corner. Love may just find you." Andrew took hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze "Things will work out the way they're supposed to."
"I'm going to be working and I don't want anyone else. I think the single life is the only option for me. When I get back, i'll just get a bunch of cats and a decent vibrator and I'm all set."
Greg couldn't help but laugh, spraying most of his coffee across the table "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting that." He threw down some napkins and looked at Elizabeth. "I'm going to miss you honey — So much."
"As will I. You make sure you get back to us safe and sound, you hear me? Now that we've decided to move forwards with adoption, we need the godmother to be here with us all in one piece." Andrew smiled "No heroics, got it."
Elizabeth's mouth dropped open "Oh my god — You guys I'm so happy for you. You're going to make amazing parents. I'm speechless. You want me as godmother? Seriously?"
"We sure do." Greg had a mischievous grin "Unless — You want to have one for us. My god can you imagine how gorgeous that little tucker would be. Those eyes of yours are to die for and you clearly have an excellent metabolism. I've seen how much you eat and you never put on an ounce."
"Gregory! I swear to all that is holy if you utter another word —" The glare from Andrew was enough to make Elizabeth laugh.
"I think I'm going to be a tad busy with this job and all. But I promise I'll be back. Someone has to show your little one all the naughty stuff. That's what Auntie Bess is for."
"We can change our minds you know missy."
Elizabeth pulled them both into a hug and had to force herself not to cry. "I'll see you both real soon okay. And Andrew, I'll give your sweatshirt to Isabelle and she can drop it in for you."
"Nah — You keep it honey. Take it with you and it can be a hug when you need one."
Elizabeth took one last look around and shrugged "Best cafe I ever walked into. I love you both. It's not goodbye. It's — Catch ya later."