A/N: Warning- this is totally NOT looked over carefully. I had half the chapter sitting on my drive for weeks before I finally thought, 'screw this, I just need to finish and post.' So please forgive the mistakes you come across. I'll look over this again tomorrow night and fix all the issues I find.

In the meantime, I looked over the reviews and whoa- THANK YOU to everyone who's dropped by and a double, triple, quadruple thank you to those of you who have left reviews. I know it's a time suck to leave a review so I do appreciate every single word of feedback I get. Long or short, I thank you.

And to Goldspleen and Gryfen- your extra-long reviews made me squeal. Seriously, I read both of yours on the bus and I'm sure people were wondering why I was smiling to myself.

Chapter 20

I can't wait to see you again, Arthur. Trust me when I say that. Only, may I offer a word of caution, from one old friend to another? Do you know about the gates of horn and ivory? One leads to true dreams and the other leads to false. What was it that Virgil wrote?

"Two gates the silent house of Sleep adorn/ Of polish'd ivory this, that of transparent horn."

Horn and ivory look awfully alike. You can even say that one is a reflection of the other and believe you me, it's so very difficult to tell one apart from the other. They seem identical, so close, that you could easily mistake one for the other.

Just a little something for you to consider.

###

Ana woke up with a startled cry and she sat up, ready for a fight.

"It's alright, you're okay," Arthur said in a low, soothing tone. He was holding his hands up in surrender, half-kneeling, half-standing on the edge of her bed. He looked down at her with wide eyes that would have been comical if not for the adrenaline rushing through her body. "It's just me."

She clasped her hand to her chest, feeling her heart pound at a dizzying beat and made a face.

"Did you have to shake me awake?" Ana said, gasping. She swallowed and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. "God, I thought it was an earthquake!"

"You're a heavy sleeper," Arthur said, raising his eyebrows. "It would take an earthquake to wake you up."

He lowered his hands and stood up, his mouth twisting wryly. "Eames just left to go pick up Yusuf. He should be back in an hour or so, unless they make a stop. I thought you'd want to be up before then."

"Thank you," she muttered sarcastically, and she rubbed her eyes before peering at him blearily. He was fully armored in dark slacks, a crisp white shirt, tie and gray waistcoat; she thought that it was the most formal she'd seen him…

And yet.

Ana catalogued the little details that gave him away. The faded traces of ink on the side of his hand and fingertips, the raw, pink skin of his cheeks and the fine spots of water on his collar that he missed while shaving this morning – if he had slept, he would have shaved and then gotten dressed but it was obvious that had come as an afterthought, and the stiff way he held himself on the left side. His hip was hurting him and it was obvious he hadn't done anything to alleviate the ache.

She narrowed her eyes. "Did you stay up all night?"

Arthur's expression didn't change but she could sense the subtle shift in his body, from relaxed to tense, and Ana kicked the blankets off, swinging her legs over the side as he stepped back.

"I can make breakfast," he said, not answering her question. "But in the meantime, we have pots of tea and coffee. You should eat before they get back."

"So that would be a yes," Ana said. She rubbed her arms and shivered slightly now that she was out from under the cozy warmth of her bed. Her skin prickled and she stood up, sliding her feet into her slippers.

Arthur took another step back and she could see the quick way he assessed her, gaze moving quickly up and down and then to the side. Except it wasn't purely objective; his cheeks turned a faint pink and Ana had to force herself not to smile. She wasn't wearing much, just a shirt and a small pair of shorts she'd scrounged up from Eames' wardrobe. Though it had been a careless choice, it was amusing to see Arthur affected.

"Well, sometimes the answers aren't what we want to hear," he said, turning towards the door. "I'm sure you want to get dressed. I'll meet you in the kitchen and then we can talk about–"

"Arthur."

He stopped and faced her again, looking oddly nervous and on edge. In the soft light of morning peeking through her curtains, his face looked stern but his eyes were bright and…

Hopeful.

"About last night…" she trailed off and then took a deep breath, trying to seem braver than she felt. "I haven't forgotten what happened. And I'm glad it happened."

For a moment, Arthur looked surprised and then he smiled, relief blooming over his features. He seemed to lose some of the edge then and his entire demeanor relaxed.

"Me too," he said. For a moment, he stood there and she could sense the indecision in him, the way he almost took a step towards her, but was stopped by some internal debate.

Oh, Arthur.

It was a fond thought and Ana felt all of the panic from waking dissipate like fog in the sun.

Taking pity on him, she laughed and said, "I want oatmeal and toast, since you so kindly offered to feed me. And jam. Now get out, I need to take a shower. Not everyone can look as good as you first thing in the morning."

Arthur grinned at her. "Yes, ma'am," he said, in mock seriousness and to her delight he saluted sharply, before gracefully turning on his heel and making his way out of her room.

For a moment, the sight of him lingered in her mind. The straight line of his narrow shoulders, the way he turned from his waist without wincing, the way he ducked his head whenever he was about smile but fighting it.

Feeling warmer than she had a moment ago, Ana started to get ready for the day.

###

Ana had hoped for some time alone with Arthur before Eames and Yusuf arrived, but they returned within the hour. Arthur and Eames had gone back to the studio, leaving Ana alone with Yusuf in the kitchen to finish her breakfast.

He'd set up what looked to be a mini chemistry set; a small hot plate and various containers littered Eames' counter and he seemed intent on watching different colored liquids in a few beakers. It was clear he knew what he was doing. He moved with the quick, confident motions of someone accustomed to working with chemicals. He seemed almost careless but his fingers were steady and his eyes were clear and intent.

She sat quiet and still on her stool a few feet away, studying him as he worked, cataloging the stretched cuffs of his sweater and the linen pants he wore. His hair was a riot of soft-looking curls but neat and kept away from his eyes.

Lives in a warmer climate, she thought as she absentmindedly stirred her oatmeal, but works in cool conditions. Pushes his sweater up a lot. Probably takes it off completely when he leaves his lab.

A makeshift lab though, otherwise he wouldn't have holes in his shirt or discolored shoes.

Owns two cats.

Smart. Clever. Educated.

Ana thought back to when they'd been introduced and thought–

Spent some time in the same region as Eames. The same roll to the "r" and elongated vowel sounds.

Not just chemistry, he studied...

"I think if you look at me any harder, you'll burn a hole through my skull."

Ana was jolted out of her thoughts but she managed not to spill any of her breakfast. She looked at Yusuf calmly. He was staring back at her with a half smile, a real smile, but with a sharp gaze. She realized then that he'd been watching her as closely as she'd been watching him.

"I'm sorry," she said. Yusuf raised an eyebrow and she smiled back at him. "Would you rather I not apologize?"

"Eames told me a bit about you," he said. "I suppose I'm just curious as to whether or not what he said was true."

We've never met. But that was obvious from the beginning. He hadn't greeted her with the cautious familiarity of an old friend or enemy, but it was nice to have confirmation.

"What did Eames say about me?"

Yusuf stared at her for a beat longer before shrugging and turning back to his work. "That you were frighteningly observant."

"I'm sure that's all he said," she said evenly as Yusuf stirred something in a glass container. "Are you going to take my blood now or did you want to go through more small talk?"

At that, Yusuf looked up again. "He didn't mention you were a mind reader. Now that is a handy talent to have. How in the world did you–"

"You've been eyeing my arm and then looking at the syringe in your packet over there," Ana said, putting her bowl down. "It's not hard to track that chain of thought. Arthur trusts you though so I'm going to act in good faith here. I'm assuming this has something to do with the drugs you're planning to give me?"

Yusuf looked amused and reached out for his tools, laying them out on the counter in front of her before motioning for Ana to roll up her sleeves.

"I want to make sure that the blend we'll be using today won't have any adverse affects on you," he said. "It shouldn't. I checked back in Paris, but I like to be thorough. What you allowed into your system was an experimental formula, very risky. You were either brave or–"

"Or stupid," Ana finished for him. She pushed her sleeve up and held her arm out to him. "I've heard it said already."

Yusuf shook his head, putting on a pair of rubber gloves. She was surprised at how gentle his hands were; he turned her arm over so that the underside of her forearm faced up.

"I wasn't going to say stupid," he said, examining her skin. He tapped the inside of her elbow a few times before nodding to himself. "You are clearly far from stupid. If Arthur and Eames worked with you, then it's a given that you were careful, not given to rash or thoughtless behavior. I meant desperate."

"That's quite an assumption," Ana said, staring at his face intently. She didn't think he meant it as a slight, just as a given fact, but she still bristled inside.

Yusuf frowned, sensing her mood and looked up. He seemed on the verge of saying something, perhaps to apologize, but instead he closed his mouth and tied a tourniquet a few inches from her antecubital fossa, before tapping her arm again. He quickly swabbed down her skin and within minutes was filling a small vial from her vein. Ana watched the tube and drew in a breath, feeling on edge at the sight of her blood.

"Won't my breakfast affect the results?" she asked. She forced herself to look back at Yusuf's face.

"Not for my tests," he said. "It's not as if I have a baseline to compare against and I'm not testing for blood sugar or cholesterol levels. What I'm looking for is a reaction to the formula you and Eames will be using."

"Why is Arthur using something else?"

Yusuf untied the tourniquet from her arm with one hand and quickly but gently removed the needle, pushing down a clean piece of gauze over the puncture site. After putting a plaster over the gauze, he capped the syringe and tilted his head to the side, looking back at her shrewdly.

"Arthur will be using a version with a strong sedative," he said. He looked up and raised an eyebrow at her. "You do understand the risk associated with this undertaking."

And she did, she really did. Arthur and Eames had explained it to her but for some reason the reality of the situation was suddenly more apparent knowing that Arthur was going to put something different in his veins. On top of whatever else could go wrong in her mind, he would be set apart from them even more.

He's doing all of this for me, she thought and it made her stomach churn. She regretted eating breakfast.

"He'll be fine," Yusuf said, watching her face closely. "He's used more volatile Somnacin knock offs in the past. My formulas will work as they're designed to and I've already tested the blend with Arthur."

"But the deeper the sedative, the more risk, right?" she asked. "Limbo is as deep as you can go."

Yusuf nodded and then took a step back towards his makeshift work area. "I'll make sure he gets down there safely. How he gets out is up to him."

Or me.

"How much is he paying you for this?" Ana asked. Yusuf looked back at her questioningly. She lifted her chin and stared hard at him. "Your equipment is expensive. The quality of the glass alone probably cost a small fortune, but you've had that shirt for years and your shoes are worn down to the sole. You're not a poor man, Yusuf, but you use your money in very specific ways."

Yusuf leaned against the counter and motioned for her to continue. Instead of looking offended, he looked intrigued.

"You're very good at what you do, otherwise you wouldn't be here. He trusts you to put us under but you charge premium rates so you can buy better gear. You know he doesn't like you but you still came."

Ana narrowed her eyes. "You still came," she said softly, "because you knew you could ask for any price. And you knew that Arthur would pay it."

"Money is a very strong motivator," Yusuf said lightly. "But it's not my only–"

"Oh, and you're curious," she said before he could finish. "You have a degree in Pharmacology. People alone don't interest you. Neither do chemicals, really. No, too simple, right? But you like watching the way they interact. This is a challenge for you. A puzzle suited perfectly for your interests."

"Those are all very true things," he said. He went back to his set up and began to work again. "And Eames was too right about you – except he did also say that you tended to miss the forest for the trees."

"If it's all true then what did I get wrong?"

"If Arthur had been the one to ask me here, I would have charged him the moon," Yusuf said simply. He paused, looking up from his work. His face was serious now and his mouth was tilted down in a slight frown. "But he isn't paying me for my services here today."

As Yusuf stared at her, she realized the point he was making and she looked away, feeling uncomfortable and overexposed. She'd given herself away, too caught up in picking at Yusuf and gauging his reactions to see the truth of the matter. She approached it all with Arthur in mind and that had been a mistake. She'd forgotten: Arthur had called Cobb and–

Eames called Yusuf.

"Eames is a friend," Yusuf said. "But you mentioned Arthur didn't like me. I wonder how much of our history he's told you about."

Ana let out a huff. "Nothing. He didn't tell me anything about you, aside from the fact you were a chemist. Neither did Eames."

Yusuf's brow wrinkled in thought. "It's obvious you're not at all worried about me but I am curious as to why you're at ease knowing that Arthur doesn't like me."

"Because, like I said earlier, he trusts you," Ana said, getting to her feet. She could see Yusuf's confusion deepen.

"I may be skilled," Yusuf said, "but he could have found chemists that were closer and cheaper. Why do you think he trusts me?"

"You can't see the trees for the forest, Yusuf," she said. She walked towards the door, wanting to see how Arthur and Eames were doing and feeling anxious to get started already. "It's obvious, isn't it?

"I know he trusts you because he left me here alone with you."

###

Afterwards, things moved so quickly it was almost a blur.

Eames and Arthur had been cagey, to say the least. It seemed she was no longer allowed into the studio and the brief glimpse inside she'd been afforded before she had been gently but firmly ushered out again revealed diagrams posted up all over the walls.

Ana thought that she'd have more time to herself then, more time to contemplate the task at hand, more time to go through her belongings again but it only took half an hour or so before everything was ready.

They were set up in the living room, one of the few rooms she hadn't been to and she tried to concentrate, to focus on the rich colors of the furniture, the pattern of the rug on the floor–

He doesn't use this room much because the floor is cherry wood and it isn't scuffed up or marked.

–and the chandelier with the fired bronze arms and crystal beads. At first glance, it was an elegant room, the most ornate that Ana had seen so far but it lacked personality. The oil paintings were bland though old and expensive.

That Inness has to be a reproduction but it looks authentic.

While everything gave off a sense of old money, it gave Ana the sense of a stage setting. An artfully crafted illusion.

This is where Eames keeps people he doesn't like, if he has to bring them here, she thought, this has nothing of him, it feels fake, it feels...

"Okay there, Ana?"

Ana nearly jumped out of her seat and she gritted her teeth, angry at how jumpy she was being. She took in a deep breath and looked up at Eames, who was kneeling beside her on the loveseat.

He looked at her curiously as she rubbed her forehead, feeling a cold sweat begin to break out all over her body.

"You're scared," he said after a moment.

Ana glanced at the open silver case that lay on the center table. She'd been trying to avoid the sight since they came into the room but now, with Arthur and Yusuf talking quietly just outside the hallway and only Eames to distract her, she could no longer escape it.

"Yeah," she said, looking back at Eames. His face was cast in shadows in the dim light of the room, all the curtains had been closed, ostensibly to keep them safe from curious neighbors. "It's just… Now that it's time, I'm-"

Unsure.

Terrified.

She felt Eames' fingers curl around hers and she looked down at their joined hands on her lap. His hand was tan, made even more so against the white bandage that wrapped around her palm.

"It's only natural," he said soothingly. "But we've come this far, pet. There's just one last step to take."

"What if this is the wrong thing to do?" she asked, raising her eyes. The loveseat was low enough so that they were nearly at eye level, even though he was on his knees. "What if… What if this really is a trap that I set? What if Arthur was right and I've done this terrible thing and–"

"Then we go into it together," Eames said simply. "Eyes wide open."

This close, he looked as tired as Arthur. Unlike the other man, he hadn't shaved and she could see the stubble on his cheeks. It reminded her of the first time she saw his face, that cultivated look of an eccentric ex-pat. But now she knew him, now she knew who he was to her.

Now I know how important the both of you are to me.

Dread layered on top of fear made her pull her hand away and sit back. She glanced up at the door where she could see the shadows cast by Yusuf and Arthur against the far wall.

"You did something," Eames said. She turned back to him and he reached up and touched the side of her face, near her temple. "Up here, in your mind. Things that happen in dreams can't be fixed outside of them. You locked a door deep down inside yourself – there's nothing we can do out here to unlock it. So this is the only way. It's alright, being scared, but remember what we told you. What I told you."

Ana nodded, thinking back to the day before. "When Yusuf presses the button, I'll go to sleep. It won't hurt. It won't feel like anything. And when I open my eyes. I need to–"

"Think about me," Eames said, with a crooked grin and lowered his arm.

Ana let out a surprised laugh.

"I think the instructions were to relax and let my feet guide me to you or Arthur," Ana said. Eames chuckled and shook his head. "That I'll know instinctively where to find you because my mind will automatically seek out the–"

"No, sod those instructions," Eames said. "Think of me and you'll find me. Just like that, you'll know exactly where to find me if you aren't already by my side when we open our eyes. Remember, location isn't just a place in dreams, it can also be–"

"A person," Ana said. She smiled back at him, feeling a little more settled. It might have all been garbage but somehow, she felt better.

"That's right," Eames said firmly. "Just keep using your clever brain, no matter what happens, and you'll be fine. I promise, you'll be fine. We'll find you. You'll find us."

Ana swallowed and nodded. She heard a shuffle and looked up as Arthur and Yusuf entered the room.

Arthur met her eyes and smiled slightly, but she could see the way his gaze flickered down at Eames.

"It's time," he said. He bent down and began to roll out an IV from the PASIV as Yusuf checked the vials. "Eames, we'll set you up first so that Ana knows what to expect. I'll take care of Ana and then Yusuf will plug me in. We have should have enough time in the first level to find the code."

Ana knew time was different in a dream. Even a few hours could last weeks, depending on the strength of the formula or the number of levels.

Eternity could take place in a heart beat, in a breath, in the blink of an eye.

Ana felt her stomach roil.

Arthur will be down in Limbo.

What if he...

Ana watched quietly as Arthur knelt by Eames' side and deftly inserted the IV into his arm. When he was done, he stood up and walked towards Ana with another IV.

"You don't have to do this," Arthur said softly. His face was serious, almost grim. "We can stop right now. No one is forcing you to do this."

Ana felt her heart speed up and the calm from only a moment ago shattered.

"I…" she trailed off, feeling a rising panic bubble up in her chest and surge up towards her throat… But then she looked over at Eames who lay on the couch beside her.

He nodded at her with a wry smile. He said, "Remember. Sod the instructions, love,"

And just like that, Ana felt in control of herself again.

There's no other way.

I can do this.

Because there's no other way.

She sat up and twisted around so that she was on the loveseat lengthwise and angled her arm so that Arthur had easy access.

Without a word, Arthur knelt down and carefully prepped her arm for the IV. She stared up at the chandelier, at the odd little patterns of light they cast over the room, as he worked and she bit down on her bottom lip when she felt the needle pierce her skin.

She looked up at Arthur's face when she felt him brush her hair back from her brow.

"It'll be okay, Arthur," she said, trying to infuse confidence that she didn't feel in her voice. "You and Eames are experts. We have to try just this once, right?"

Arthur said nothing for a while as he stroked her hair.

"Arthur?" she said finally. She heard a tremble in her voice but she ignored it because Arthur's face was…

He looked as if…

He's scared too.

"Everything will be fine, Ana," he said, drawing back. He brushed his fingertips against her cheek and smiled slightly before standing up. "We'll be fine."

Ana nodded and then leaned back again, staring up once more. She heard Arthur and Yusuf moving around, and then Yusuf was standing over the PASIV, a blur in her periphery.

"Get ready," he said.

The hiss of the button being depressed was loud and almost shocking in the still quiet of the room and then she felt something cold run through her veins.

For a moment, for less time than it took to take a breath, Ana wanted to sit up and pull the IV out of her arm. She wanted to tell Yusuf to stop, to tell Eames she wasn't brave or clever or whatever he thought she was. She wanted to tell Arthur he didn't have to take the risk, that she'd be fine not knowing, never knowing–

But then, against her will, Ana closed her eyes.

###

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