CHAPTER 15: IN WHICH EVERYTHING HAS GONE WRONG
Levi Ackerman
"At least I can finally scratch this off my bucket list." Levi mumbled, examining the walls of their cell.
Historia's glare might have made him take back his statement, if only he weren't feeling so damn lightheaded. "Who the hell puts jail on their bucket list?" She crossed her arms.
He shrugged, slumping against the bars. Talking was...difficult, like he had a mouth full of cotton. He honestly just wanted to pass out again.
"Why are you so upset? It's clean. Warm."
"It's a jail cell."
"Yeah but...it's…" He frowned. "...safe..?"
Historia laughed, a dark bitter laugh, and he hated how it sounded coming from her. It was like a patch of ice, refusing to melt in the heat of the sun.
"How exactly are we safe?" She hissed. "I screwed up, got us and those kids captured, and you shot! Pardon me, but this feels like the furthest fucking thing from safe that we could posibly be!"
He winced, re-positioning his injured leg.
She was mostly right, of course. But as Levi glanced around the tiny cell, the Military Police flag that hung on the back of the door to the room, the torches lighting the space, he couldn't help but feel a measure of relief.
"At least we aren't being...chased anymore…" He closed his eyes, cheek pressing into the cool metal bars of the cell.
His whole body felt heavy, like he'd jumped in and out of a river with a full set of winter gear on. Even his thoughts felt sluggish, though not like before.
Everything was clear now...just...slow. Levi didn't know if the drugs Patrik had given him were causing it or blood loss.
"How are you feeling?" Historia's voice was softer now, the hostility from before gone.
"I'm good." He grunted.
He was not good.
"Never felt better."
He felt terrible.
The truth was, his fever burned in the background, like the coals of a dying flame. Able to flare up at a moment's notice. Though muted, he wondered how long the medicine would keep it at bay. How long before the dam burst and he succumbed to it again?
It felt like days had passed in the fog of his memories, not being able to tell what was reality and what was fake. Whispers pressed at him, haunting him, pacing around in the shadows and corners of his sight. The fever made them into a fiery blockade against rational thought and reason.
Quite simply, Levi the soldier, the one who thought he was past all this, the man who commanded squads and became a living legend had disappeared. Levi the thief, a scoundrel, a man who chased away fear by hiding in cold denial replaced him.
And it had terrified him.
It's who you are. The voice reminded him. You could never live up to the man you pretended to be on the surface. Give up on Captain Levi. Your "friends" will forget you. You never mattered to them.
He thought of Hanji. She didn't know he was down here. No one knew, except Armin. But Hanji would be angry.
He thought of Erwin. Of his current squad of teenagers who looked up to him so much. Of Mike.
Forget about them. Run away from it all…it's what you do. It's what Ackerman's do.
He heaved a sigh, not wanting to believe the voice, but not having much else to listen to.
"You aren't looking much better."
"Thanks?" He said, opening his eyes. Of course, he was met with Historia's ever present concerned frown. He almost laughed at himself for not predicting it.
"How's your leg?"
He glanced at his thigh again, feeling the pain lance through him. A steady, dull throb morphed around the injury, seeping into his muscles and tissue. The bullet had gone straight through, tearing through the muscle of his right thigh and exiting several centimeters above his kneecap. It hadn't hit any arteries or bone, thankfully, but left behind a hole roughly the size of a small coin.
Wrapped around it all was Historia's cloak. The tattered cloak of a queen. Bloodied and torn, used as a bandage for a useless soldier like himself.
Leave it to the underground to fuck you over three times and leave you to die, he thought bitterly.
"It's shit." He grimaced at last.
"I'm sorry." She said, "That's all I had. You—you were bleeding so much when they threw us in here and I didn't want you to die so I did what I could to stop it, but...I'm sorry I don't have anything else to help."
"Historia—"
She looked at him, eyes watery.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered.
"For what?" He scoffed. "You didn't shoot me."
"But it's my fault. All of it is. Getting caught. You getting hurt. Coming here in the first place and dragging you with me. It's all my fault. And I'm sorry. You have every right to hate me and I don't blame you if you do."
Well that was unexpected.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I just—" She started, swallowing and glancing to the ceiling. "If we—if we hadn't come here, none of this would have happened. The kids, you, Nile. It would all be the same as before." A single tear slipped down her cheek.
Oh no.
"It's not your fault." He said immediately, but the words felt flat, even to him.
"Oh really?" She laughed, but the sound was bitter, like the tinkling of shattered glass. "And how exactly is it not my fault? Did I not beg and plead with the council to let this happen? Did I not insist you and Nile come with?"
"That's not what I—"
"Oh then what did you mean? Because this all really feels like a shit ton of 'my fault' and I don't know how you can justify it any other way. I chose to do this. I made you and Nile come with. Burns used my poor judgement to his advantage."
God, she was really digging herself in.
"I meant it's not something you should beat yourself up for." He muttered, feeling dizzy.
"And why the hell not?" She was full on crying now, ugly tears sliding down dirty cheeks.
His leg flared with pain and he winced, sliding further down the cell bars. He grasped the wound, willing the pain to subside as he gathered his thoughts.
"You can't always blame yourself for everything that goes wrong." He gritted out. "It's a shitty thing to do."
Historia wiped at her tears. "It feels like I should though." She wailed.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know."
She froze mid-wipe, staring at him like he'd just proclaimed himself queen.
"You do?"
"Yeah." He frowned, peeling the cloak back from his leg to get a better look at his injury. It was a clean wound, but oh how it throbbed! Even looking at it seemed to increase the intensity, pulses of lighting shooting through him.
But it was easier to look at than Historia while he talked.
"Things happen. Good or bad." He explained. "You don't have control over nature anymore than I do. Titans could invade the walls tomorrow and humanity would cease to exist. You can't change that."
He heard her shift against the wall, listening to him intently
"You also can't control what others do. Believe me, I've tried." He continued.
She huffed in agreement.
"But most of all," He glanced at her still glistening eyes. "You have to remember you only control yourself. Whatever you choose to do, whatever is going on around you, you can't go back on the choice you made. So choose to move forward."
Now he looked her full in the eye. Her face swam with a storm of emotion. Fear, regret, guilt, shame, pain. It all hid behind eyes as bright as the sun. Levi knew how well that light could hide the darkness.
"Our situation is less than ideal." He frowned at the room. "But crying over what has been or what could have happened won't change anything. You made your choice, and yeah, it had some shitty consequences. But you can't regret the choice you made. You don't have the luxury. You don't have the time, especially in the world we live in. Especially in the underground."
"So…" She looked confused. "Are you saying we should just give up?"
Levi groaned, wishing Hanji was there for the millionth time. "No, I mean you have to keep going. Keep fighting. Crying is useless and will cloud your judgement."
She was still frowning at him.
"You're strong, and you have a lot of potential in front of you, but if you give up here you're wasting an entire future. Don't let your mistakes define you, let them give you strength to make better choices in the future."
Realization dawned on her face and she nodded.
"Yeah, that makes sense." She agreed.
"Good." He said, satisfied. "Now as for—"
He cut off as a clang echoed in from the hallway. Both of them drew silent, holding their breath.
Was it Burns? A guard?
Multiple sets of footsteps shuffled quietly, the sound growing like an angry swarm of bees.
A voice, commanding and harsh, sounded right outside their cell.
And then
*SLAM*
The door burst inward revealing two stout military police officers, both bearing rifles and snarls.
"On yer feet!" The one in front barked at them. His gapped teeth were nothing compared to his filthy hair. Levi loathed the way it stuck with a vengeance to the man's sweaty, balding head. And the stench that wormed its way over to them! Holy hell!
"I said GET UP!"
Historia helped and jumped to her feet.
"Where did you take the two children?" She demanded, standing strong.
The men glanced at each other before chuckling.
"Oh they're fine. Real fine. Now UP!"
"What did you do to them-"
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." The man slammed his hand into the bars. "Now do I have to make you get up or are you gonna do it yourself small fry?"
Levi tried to stand, but as soon as he put weight on his injured leg, he swayed. He let out a grunt of pain as his body fell slack, sending him toppling over to the ground.
Well, he would have hit the ground if Historia hadn't caught him.
"Thanks." He rasped, struggling to see through the fog of pain.
"Now's not really the time." She muttered under her breath.
The guard at the bars rolled his eyes at their sorry state. Him barely standing and Historia supporting his weight. Pathetic.
Levi blushed, but a wave of anger took over. Or maybe that was just his fever coming back. Regardless, red hot energy swept through him, and he bared his teeth at the guards as they approached the cell.
"A'right, here's the deal." The guard spoke up again. He had been at Patrik's house. Hadn't he? Taller and lanky, with an unkempt beard? Levi couldn't remember. "You move. I shoot you. You yell, I shoot you. You try and untie yourself, I shoot you. Ya got it?"
The man didn't look like he cared either way. He would simply be glad to do his work, whatever it may be, so he can go home and be fed at the end of the day.
Levi found it harder than expected to blame the man for threatening them.
"I said, 'ave ya got it?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow at them.
"We get it." Historia said, and Levi caught a slight eye roll coming off her.
Nice. He thought slyly.
"First you." The bearded man said, pointing to Historia. He brandished a set of keys from his belt, inserting one to the lock, and opening the door with a clank. He pulled a pistol from a holster, aiming it directly into the cell. Right at Historia. Levi gulped.
Historia gently bent down and helped him rest against the stone before slinking out of the cell. The man trained his gun on her the whole time. The first guard, the heavyset one, pulled a length of cord from his pocket, grinning at Historia like she was a prize pig. Levi's stomach rolled.
He watched, helpless, as the guard turned the small girl around and, none too gently, bound her wrists behind her back with the cord. Though she said nothing, Levi could tell by the pain in her eyes that the man tightened the cords too much against her tiny wrists.
His skin burned.
"Ok, you next."
It took Levi a moment to realize they were talking to him.
They had to be kidding.
"I can't walk." He said bluntly.
"Course ya can't." The guard with the gun said. "That's cuz Theo fed ya a bullet. Would ya like another one?"
Without warning, he cocked his trigger and fired a round into the ceiling. Everyone recoiled from the impact sound ringing in their ears.
"UP!"
Levi growled, but, staring the man down, pushed himself to his feet. Well, foot more like. He leaned heavily against the bars, his crutch. The only support near him.
Then, without breaking eye contact, he let go of the bars, letting his weight shift to his bad leg.
Pain lanced through him, and he almost buckled beneath it. He sagged under the force, but stayed upright, walking on his other foot. He repeated the process, limping past the guard, not blinking once.
If the man was intimidated, he didn't show it.
"Great. Yer a good little prisoner." He sneered. "Tie him up." He gestured to the other guard. Training his gun back to Historia, he muttered "And if you even think about trying anything heroic…"
Historia sighed. "You'll shoot me."
The guard laughed. "Exactly! God, it's a shame we 'ave to though!" He grabbed a piece of Historia's hair, giving it a sniff.
She flinched and tried to recoil away, but he grabbed at her hair. "Don't try and play now. You'll regret it." His face was inches from hers, and Levi resisted the urge to drag the man up through the underground and kick him off of Wall Shina.
Instead, the heavyset man shuffled behind Levi, grabbing his arms in the process. His wrists stung as the rough cord suffocated them, strangling the blood flow. He refused to let his discomfort show, choosing to bite down on the inside of his cheek to let his mind focus elsewhere.
The taller guard released his finger off the trigger, apparently satisfied at their bound state. He walked up to Levi, towering over him like an ugly knotted tree, and sniffed his dissatisfaction.
"This the bullet hole?" He said, gesturing to Levi's bad leg with his gun.
"...yes." Levi grit out.
The man nodded, thoughtful. He tucked his gun back into its holster, examining the leg. Then, he suddenly reared his own leg back and
*SMACK*
Levi crumpled to the ground on the impact, screaming at the onslaught of pain. Bound hands couldn't clutch against the wound. Couldn't touch it. Blackness drowned his vision.
Please don't pass out, please don't pass out…
He moaned, molten sludge burning through him. His mind, a lake of fire.
...don't pass out, please…
Seconds? Minutes?
His vision cleared, after how long he didn't know.
He saw Historia, body ridged against her bindings, shouting at the two rogue soldiers.
His ears rang, but he could vaguely hear her chastisement.
A blur of color and he was jerked upright. He moaned again. Embarrassing. His body was useless, an empty husk, refusing to comply with his will.
The pungent smell of the soldier invaded his nostrils. Body odor, excrement, drugs. He coughed against it, finding his face barely inches from the fake officer's.
"That's for back talking." He spat, disgusting droplets of it hitting Levi's face. "We gonna have any more problems with that?"
"..." Levi breathed against the man's grip, tightly clutching his soiled shirt.
"What was that?" The man growled, shaking him.
"...n—no…" He gasped.
The man eyed him for a second longer, then his whole demeanor changed, and he set Levi down against the wall.
"Excellent." He exclaimed, clasping his hands together. He gleefully drew his gun back out. "Let's get a move on then. I'd hate for boss to get there before us."
"Get where?" Historia glared at the man.
The man smiled. "We call it the slaughterhouse."
The "slaughterhouse" turned out to be a meat cellar.
Levi was shoved unceremoniously inside, cursing as his leg gave out underneath him and he fell to the ice cold cement floor. He gasped against the bloodstains there, shivering even as his skin steamed with white hot fire.
Glancing up, he saw hooks, clearly meant to hold meat, hanging down from a gate-like ceiling every few centimeters apart. Though, he noticed, the ceiling was lower than a normal one. Just taller than himself.
Historia also swore as she was shoved inside, though she managed to stay on her feet. The guards moved in after her, tall and lanky keeping his gun trained on them the whole time.
The heavier one grabbed Historia's bindings and loosed them.
"Not a breath out of line princess." He puffed into her ear. She cringed against him.
He quickly set to work re-tying her hands in front of her body. When he finished, he reached up towards one of the hooks. To his horror, Levi watched him grab one of them and lift Historia's arms to it. She cried out as her arms wretched upwards, the bindings catching on the hook. She half dangled, half struggled against the hold. Her toes could reach the ground, but only just.
"You next rat." Levi heard the man approach and knew he was in for the same treatment.
Sure enough, he was yanked off the ground, held in place as his arms were jerked around, tied and re-tied, and lifted towards the ceiling.
He dangled, pathetically. Head lolling. Barely feeling anymore. The cold from the floor numbed him from his fingertips to his toes.
The man gave him another jab, though thankfully he spared Levi's leg any more trauma.
The guard with the gun again holstered his weapon. He watched with satisfaction as the two of them hung like a couple of pigs, ready to be beaten to death.
"Ohhh ho!" He chuckled. "Boss is sure gonna be happy when he sees this! Don't you think Mack?" He gave a joking elbow to the heavy man who grunted. "We're basically handing him the throne ourselves! Ha! And with flair."
Levi breathed in a shuddering breath. It was absolutely freezing in this cellar! It seemed to pound away at him, breaking his will with every jab and insult that echoed around the small brick room.
...just give up…
...give up and die...
"Why, I don't think Burns himself could have packaged these two up any better than this! And just think, when he comes to kill them no one will think twice about there being blood in a meat stor—"
*THUD*
The tall man's face went completely slack. His eyes rolled up in their sockets and he fell, face first, to the ground.
Mack, the second man, whipped his head around in confusion.
Then—
*THWACK*
He too was sent sprawling to the ground, jaw hanging.
A third man waltzed into the room, sporting a brick in one hand and a pistol in the other. His hair was wild, almost as wild as the look in his lively gray eyes, and his facial hair was an unforgiving mess of last year's fashion.
But Levi had never seen a sight more beautiful.
Because Nile had found them.
AN:
hahaha, i'm not really sure if anyone is reading this story on Fanfiction, but if you are I will keep updating it. It's much easier to interact and talk to people on AO3, so I probably won't be leaving author's notes here as often.
Hit me up on AO3 tho! Same username and stories on there! I'm always happy to chat :D