Five POV

Klaus.

Impeccable timing, really.

Dolores looked at me, her face confused as she swallowed a bite of her Christmas cookie. I pursed my lips and smiled. So far, everything had gone great. The siblings she'd met seemed to like her just fine. But here came Klaus, quite possibly the most erratic person on the planet, and I hoped and prayed he wouldn't say something stupid to her. But he probably would.

Vanya got up from her seat, letting her vintage violin rest on the couch where she had sat. Luther and Allison followed suit, leaving Dolores and I the only ones sitting down. Diego stood with his arm propped up on the fireplace, still munching on his cookie, waiting for crap to go down. I grabbed Dolores' hand lightly and stood to my feet, my hand signalling her to get up with me. She ran a finger over one of my knuckles, and I tucked my hand into the pocket of my pants.

'Klaus, I thought you weren't getting back until later tonight!', Vanya said, quickening her pace and moving into the foyer to meet up with him.

And there the dope stood, wearing grass skirt, high top converse, and under his baggy black v-neck, I could've sworn he was wearing a coconut bra. Lord have mercy.

'Well you knoooow, flights, planes, aerodynamics and all that good stuff.', he answered her, pulling her into a hug as he sat down his sticker covered suitcase. 'Timing is an art, not a science, ma' dear Vanny.'

Dolores tapped my shoulder slyly. 'Holy. Heck.', she whispered. 'Is that your brother?'

'Unfortunately.', I whispered back, leaning back on the heels of my feet.

'Well, I'm just glad you're back.', Vanya said as she tried to release herself from the hug, but Klaus still hung on tight.

'C'mon sis, I haven't seen you in four years, show me some love.', Klaus whined, and Vanya relaxed back into the hug for a moment, laughing.

Allison entered into the foyer and met the two of them.

'Interesting fashion choices, as always, Klaus.', she commented, giving him a short hug once Vanya's finished up.

'Merci, Allison.', he said, swaying his hips around and making the long strands of grass float around. I grimaced as his leg slid out and nearly revealed half a butt cheek. 'I got it from a delightful Indonesian woman named Wulandari. She made a delicious gado-gado. '

'Is that a ... coconut bra?', Dolores chimed in, hopping into the conversation like she'd known them for years.

'Yes, actually!', Klaus said, gripping the half coconuts on his chest. 'But I'm very self-conscious about it. I'm only an a-cup.', he continued, making a shy face and causing me to roll my eyes at him. He fiddled with the beaded straps that poked out of the neck of his shirt.

'Wait a second, who are you, missy?', he asked, placing his hands on his hips.

'Dolores, I'm Fives friend.', she said, sticking out her hand to him. Klaus ignored that gesture.

'Oh, c'mon, I don't shake hands, give me a hug, chickabiddy. It's therapeutic for the soul.'

He pulled her into a hug, startling her slightly, and then she went for it after a moment. Klaus turned his head to look at me while he hugged her.

'Do-lo-res?', he mouthed to me silently, raising his eyebrows high as a kite.

'I'll - kill - you.' , I mouthed back, as seriously as I could.

'How sweet. A little friend for our little psycho.', Klaus commented as he pulled away from the hug, folding his hands in front of his mouth. 'You smell like doughnuts and smoke.'

'Yeah, Five took me to Griddy's after we finished our exam.'

I couldn't handle this dysfunctional small talk anymore.

'So, Klaus, where's this big surprise you have for us, huh?', I asked, with a tone of impatience.

Vanya let out a chuckle and started pacing around with her fingers linked together behind her back, seemingly trying to choke back laughter.

'What surpise?', Luther said, his face looking confused, as Allison's did. Diego finally came in from the den and propped himself up against one of the stair railings.

'Twenty bucks he shacked up with the tribal chief.', he whispered, snickering. I looked back and smiled. 'You're on.'

'Oh, yes! The surprise! Now Vanya, how many of them did you tell?'

'None of them. It was just too good. Wanted to wait and see their first reactions.'

'Even better! C'mon guys, surprise is in the car.'

We all followed Klaus out the doors and off the stoop down to his car, seeing a the worn out maroon thing covered in stickers just as his suitcase was. Strapped to the top rack were several floral bags, a cardboard box marked 'gifts', and a ukulele.

'Where is he?', Diego asked mockingly. Klaus turned and hissed at him, his long brown braid down his back flopping in the wind.

'Patience is a virtue, knife boy.'

Klaus skipped down to the back right car door, opening it, and bending down placing his hands on his knees. We heard him say some words, apparently having a conversation with something.

'You can come out now.', we heard him say to whatever was in the car. Maybe it was a dog. No, knowing Klaus, it had to be something more exotic than that. Maybe he'd brought home a baby hippo.

'No freaking way.', I heard Allison say, as I watched her cover her mouth. She had a clearer field of view into the car than me. From my angle, I only saw Klaus.

'What on earth...'

'Do we need to call the authorities?'

I couldn't take it anymore. Walking over to where Allison stood, I was stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the contents of the back seat of the car.

Emerging from the car was a small child, standing about three feet tall, clutching on to a stuffed animal and a bag of pretzels. She had light brown wavy hair cut above her shoulders, and was dressed in a t shirt that was too big for her and a sloppy pair of sandals. Her light brown eyes looked tired, and she rubbed them with her free hand as she stepped down from the car.

'Oh, so is that what you're into now, Klaus? KIDNAPPING?', I shouted, not able to process why on earth he'd brought back a living human child. 'I liked the drug habit better.'

'Same.'

I looked at Dolores, who was cringe-laughing, watching all of our faces. She must have found this so very awkward and amusing, meeting all of them for the first time and having Klaus pull a debacle like this.

'Oh, not even close! The drug habit is long gone. I'm into meditation now.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Care to explain why you've got a toddler in your car?', Diego questioned. Another hysterical giggle burst out of Vanya, who started walking back into the house with her hands up, not being able to handle it.

'Yeah, Klaus, where'd you get her? Poor thing isn't even dressed well.', Allison chimed in. Her voice, like everyone else's, bled with shock.

'Ah, yes. This is-', Klaus opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a small yet confident voice.

'My name is Annie Gloria Gaynor Hargreeves and this is my daddy and we like to talk to the ghosts together.'

'Holy. Heck. Indeed.', Dolores whispered to me.

I opened my mouth to respond to her, but nothing would come out.