Five POV

'Daughter?'

'What were you doing down in Bali, Klaus?'

'Why didn't you tell us?'

'I ... I thought you were into guys?'

'Who's her mother?' I asked, chiming in to the parade of questions we bombarded Klaus with as we all made our way down to the basement table.

'Slow down, soldiers, you're going to give me a headache. And I'm fresh out of ibuprofen.', Klaus responded in a relaxed tone as he held the little girl by the hand and helped her sit down in one of the chairs.She looked frightened, overwhelmed by the flurry going on around her. Her small eyes fluttered back and forth, switching from Allison, to me, then to Vanya, resting on Luther and taking in his enormity.

'Who are you?', she said, pointing a finger at me with the same hand she gripped a stuffed monkey with. I grabbed Dolores' hand and took a seat at the table, looking at the little girl.

'Well, see, I'm trying to figure out the same thing about you.', I said to her. Allison stomped my foot from under the table, causing me to grit my teeth and Dolores to grip my hand tighter.

'Five, be nice, she's like four.', she scolded, tilting her head to the side and speaking slightly under her breath. 'Wait, Klaus, how old is she really?'

'I'm this many, see?', the girl answered confidently, raising a hand and holding up three sticky looking fingers.

'She said four a few minutes ago.', Diego said from the back.

'Well, Diego, numbers are hard sometimes.', Klaus shot back.

'But where did you come from, sweetie? Do you know the man who brought you here?', Allison questioned, placing a hand out near the girls as a gesture of comfort. Klaus propped his hands up on his hips, rolling his eyes and turning around, swinging his braid again.

'We ALREADY told you.', Klaus and the girl said in unison, which was honestly a little bit freaky. The way she held herself, the way she spoke, the way she used her facial expressions, it was all Klaus down to the very last detail. 'He's my daddy!'

'Like, biologically?', Luther asked, the confusion heightening. She looked and acted enough like him for me to know it was biological. But even so, that whole situation demanded an explanation just the same.

'No, I summoned her from hell and brought dad back to manufacture her a body.', Klaus said sarcastically, his hands still resting on the top edge of his grass skirt. 'Yes, biologically, what do you think I did, snatched her from a playground?'

'Not sure Klaus. Maybe you thought you could pawn her off for drug money.'

'Hey! I'm clean! I'm sober! Not a drug in this body. I'm done with that stuff. Poof, gone, bye. So long, drugs.'

'I find that difficult to believe.'

'If she's biological, then like Vanya said, who's the mother? I mean, how'd that even happen?'

'This is an interesting story, actually.'

God help us all. I could already anticipate this was going to be head-achingly ridiculous.

Klaus sat down on the end of the table Indian style, his grass skirt spreading around and making the view all too breezy.

'Klaus!', we all scolded in unison, averting our eyes.

'Oh lighten up, you bunch of modest nit-picking nuns!', he said, drawing a few more strands to the front to cover up the parts none of us wanted to see.

'Get on with it, Klaus.'

'Patience, DIEGO!'

'Ok, so, cute story actually. It all went down a few weeks after I arrived in Bali.'

Diego crossed his arms in front of his chest. Dolores sat still next to me, still gripping my hand, and instead of pushing the gesture away as I stubbornly/stupidly did back in the living room, I held her hand with the same tightness and ran my thumb lightly over the smooth skin.

'So get this. There's a group of college students vacationing in Bali, on break from the University of Munich, and they've thrown this raving beach party about a half mile down the way from my house. Really big party, tons of twenty-something year old German college students all high as kites and drunk as skunks, German pop blasting down the beach and there's like three huge bonfires.', he explained, making a motion with his hands to refer to the size of the bonfires, like a bomb exploding.

'Have mercy.', Allison said, rubbing her temples, already done with him.

'So of course seeing something so fantastic, I just had to join in. I mean, I couldn't resist.', he said, grinning from ear to ear.

Dolores laughed under her breath. 'I'm not sure I believe he's clean.', she whispered into my ear. I wish I could've agreed with her. 'No, this is just him. God forbid you ever see him high. It's ten times worse.', I whispered back.

'Hey! I heard that! And be quiet, I'm telling a story. It gets very interesting, actually.'

'Yeah, Five. Hush up, this is riveting already.', Luther retorted, laughing, causing my to slap him on his big hairy ape arm.

'Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I went down to the German beach party. After a few hours, well, I think it was a few hours, I was super high so I'm not actually sure, I met this set of boy girl twins named Friedrich and Brunhilda, and we started playing a game of crazy eights in the sand. Which was very confusing actually, because they were absolutely snockered as well, and they didn't speak a lick of English.'. He giggled after that last bit.

'So basically, Friedrich was amazing at crazy eights. Absolutely incredible. We both figured he was cheating, but that's beside the point.'

'Hurry this up Klaus.'

'So basically,-'

'STOP saying 'so basically'.'

'FURTHERMORE,'

'Things went south, obviously, I ended up with Brunhilda in a beach shack, which is odd because neither of the twins were my type, really. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Not my thing. But of course, I was high as the empire this party was absolutely insane. They had coconut punch!'

I took in a deep breath, not surprised, but annoyed with all the unnecessary details he was wasting time on.

'So the next morning, I wake up, and they're both gone! Poof. No where to be found. I crawled out of the shack, looked around the beach, realized I was wearing only a coconut bra, and I gave up and walked back to my house.'

'Klaus. Tell me you got dressed first.', Allison cringed.

'No. I left my clothes in the shack. The Indonesian folk needed it more than I did, obviously. I was a multi-millionaire at the time.'

We all cringed in unison at the thought of this scene.

'So, I never saw Brunhilda or Friedrich ever again. I'm pretty sure they wen't back to Munich. Likely graduated by now. I'm so proud!'

Luther just shook his head, and Vanya sat smiling slightly. Out of everyone in the room, she was enjoying this the most. Dolores just looked absolutely bewildered.

'In short, two years later I get a knock on my front door, and I come out wrapped in my sarong, expecting it to be my bulk delivery of pina colada mix, and it turns out to be a little kid. Standing on my stoop, all alone, holding a letter in her hand.'

'Oh my word! How horrible.'

'So I'm obviously slightly freaked out. So I close the door, and I recollect my thoughts inside for a moment, and drink the last of my daquiri.'

'Nice, Klaus. Real nice.'

'Don't worry, after a couple minutes inside I open the door back up, and she's still standing there, just staring at the door. So I take her inside, make her a daquiri too. Virgin, obviously.'

'Klaus, I swear.'

'Hold your horses! I'm getting to the good part.'

It got better than this?

'Continue.', I said, hopping up to put on a pot of coffee. 'Anybody else want coffee?'

'Yup.', all of my siblings said in unison, bringing a laugh out of Dolores.

'I think we might need something stronger.'

'I think Diego might be right.', Vanya chimed in.

'Nah. I wanna keep a level head. Can't miss any of these juicy details.', Allison put in.

'So how did you get from sharing daquiris with a kid on your door to thinking she's your daughter?'

'That's where the letter comes in, dragonfly.'

'After we finished the daquiris, or more like I finished my second one and she kinda slobbered it around her face and made a mess, I opened up the letter. It was completely in German so I was obviously like, 'Crap! How am I going to find a German translator in Bali?'

'You know, there's a real convenient thing called the internet that can help you with that issue.'

'Someone's about to get their hug privileges revoked. Ahem. Diego.'

'I'll survive.'

'So anyway, I go into the city, and I find an eighty year old fortune teller named Sun Hai, who also taught German at the University of Alaska for a time.'

'How do you just randomly find people like that?'

'I have a gift.'

'You're certainly touched, alright.'

'Sun Hai translates the letter for me. And in short, After they got back to Munich, Brunhilda found out she was pregnant, and she hadn't been with anyone else. But a year after the kid was born, she was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor, had surgery to remove it, and died from complications of the operation. So Freidrich was like 'I can't raise my sister's child! I should go back to Bali, track down her father, and drop her off with a letter explaining myself.' So yeah. That's basically how it happened. And after that, I got into contact with Freidrich who mailed me her birth certificate and such. Brunhilda was kind enough to put my name as the father. So I've had no trouble with the law. She gave her a name, but it was lame. So I got that changed. Annie Gloria Gaynor Hargreeves. And I've just had her for the past two years. Oh, and here's the kicker. She got my powers! Isn't that neat?!'

We all remained speechless. Dolores smirked with her eyebrows raised. I stopped and rested my arms on the counter as I scooped grounds into the coffee pot. Diego sat with his hand propped up under his chin. Luther looked utterly lost. Vanya had her hands folded in front of her mouth. And Allison just looked at Annie, trying to process.

Klaus clapped and smiled.

'YAAAY? Right? You're all aunts and uncles now! And we have a little kid who can summon demons!'

'I like summoning demons!', Annie rejoiced.

'Yaaayyyy!', and they clapped together. The rest of them looked around at each other, unsure what to say.

Dolores got up from her seat and stood by me at the coffee pot.

'I love your family.'

'What a saint you are, Dolores.'