Five POV

'Sir? You have two plane tickets. There's only one of you.'

'Sir?'

'Oh, sorry.', I said, the security worker's voice bringing me out of deep thought.

'So? Where's the other passenger?'

I looked back to the Starbucks, where Dory had gone.

'Oh, she's getting coffee. Actually, she's taking a while. Must be a line.'

The man looked exasperated by my answer.

'Sir, we can't hold up the line to wait for her. You're going to have to step out and come back.'

I gave an extremely fake smile (making sure he knew it was dripping with sarcastic flare), and stepped out of line, heading towards the Starbucks. I didn't have time to fight this guy, he wasn't worth it either.

As I approached, I smelled that typical Starbucks smell; strong coffee and something sugary. There wasn't a line, not even a short one.

I looked around for Dolores. And she wasn't there. The only people inside the place where two baristas behind the counter and a middle aged man tapping on a laptop in the corner. I approached the counter.

'Excuse me, miss, have you taken an order for a Dolores in the last little bit?', I asked one of the baristas, investigating.

She shook her head. 'No, I don't think we have. I would've remembered that name.', she answered me. 'Brittany? Did you take an order from someone named Dolores?'

'No, can't say that I have.', the other girl shouted from the back, making a drink.

'Have you seen a girl with brown curly hair, glasses, wearing a jean jacket and standing about yea high?', I said, motioning with my hand.

'Oh, yeah! She came in and stood in line for a bit, then a woman approached her and she followed her. They left together. I saw them scurry out the doors.'

Crap. I need to teach Dolores about not following strangers if I'm not with her.

'And you're certain of this?', I asked, getting closer to the barista.

'I watched it all go down, so yeah, I'm fairly certain of it.'

I nodded, scanning the Starbucks once more. No sign of her. But at the far edge of the room, laying in the floor, there was a plain white envelope.

I went over to investigate.

Written on the front of the envelope. My name. 'Mr. Five.'

Can I seriously not catch a break and have an uncomplicated, peaceful life that isn't constantly filled with people plotting against me? Is it too much to ask?

I grabbed the envelope, ripping it open carefully. Inside, there was a plain white sheet of paper folded up, and in the center, a concise message scrawled in a blue ink.

'We have her. Want her back? Come to the back of the warehouse on 56th street. If you don't bring your whole family here within three hours, the girl is dead. - F & B'

Crap. F & B? The commission, no doubt. But I'd never heard of an F & B.

I picked up my phone, dialed a number, and put it up to my ear.

'Hello?'

'Yeah, Diego. Gonna need you to round the family up. We're in a deep load of crap.'

Diego POV

Finally. Fricking finally. Some action.

I ended the call with Five, crumpling up the last of my Taco Bell wrappers.

'Hey y'all, we've got places to be. Five needs our help with something. Says we're in deep crap.'

'Deep crap?', Luther asked, his mouth full of a bite of his sixth bean burrito.

'Apparently. Must be something important. Five doesn't exaggerate.'

Luther swallowed his food.

'Do you think we've caused another apocalypse somehow?'

'Nah, he wasn't using that same stressed old man voice. He sounded legitimately worried, like it personally affected him.'

'Personally affected? Since when does Five ever get personally affected?', Luther asked, unwrapping another burrito.

'It has to be something to do with Dolores. There's nothing else.', Allison put in, rounding up some of the trash. She looked worried. 'I haven't ever seen him so caring with somebody before, it's like he's a completely different person when she's with him.'

'It's honestly absurd.', I put in, the thought making me really confused. What kind of spell had she cast on him?

'But anyway, get driving, Allison, he wants us all rounded up at the house in ten minutes.'

'Geez!'

She pulled the car out of the Taco Bell parking lot. We'd been sitting there eating and talking for an hour now. I'd squeezed in at least two more jokes about Luther's hospital socks.

'Thank God for some action, finally.'

Five POV

'Klaus, Vanya, Annie, get in here!'

I raced into the foyer of the manor. We didn't have a whole lot of time.

Klaus came stomping quietly down the stairs, shushing me, holding a finger to his mouth.

'Annie is napping, be quiet, Doctor Who.'

I shook my head in exasperation and bit my lip. Vanya came in from the left, holding her 1920s violin. It was starting to look quite nice, but that didn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is Dolores, and her safety.

'What's going on Five?', she asked, her voice low and calm as usual.

'I took Annie to the airport. She got kidnapped by some unidentified idiots, and now they're holding her for ransom. We have three hours for all of us to get to her, or she's dead.', I said, using an ever harsher tone than I had when I explained how we needed to stop the apocalypse. I almost felt worse about this than the destruction of the entire human race. Frick. I fell in love.

Klaus' mouth dropped open.

'I'll go get Annie.', Vanya said, starting up the stairs. 'Wait, do we need her too?'

'Wait wait wait, we're taking my three year old daughter to a hostage situation? I don't really think so.'

'The note they left said the entire family needed to show or she's dead. And the kid is a valuable asset.' Vanya shrugged to Klaus and continued up the stairs to get her.

Diego, Luther, and Allison busted through the door. Luther was wearing two hospital gowns, one for the front, one for the back, and a pair of baby blue socks. It was quite ironic, considering his super masculine appearance.

'Y'all ready to bust some skulls?', Diego asked as he stepped in. The scene was like something from a movie. A very, very, dysfunctional movie.

Klaus stepped down the stairs, down to the floor.

'Heck yeah, Avengers assemble, beaches.'

Allison grabbed Luther's hand in hers.

'Uh, Luther, you might wanna change into something more... covering.', I commented, as the drafts in the house made his thin gowns float around in the wind.

'Oh, yeah.', he said, pulling the gown down. 'Help me, Allison?'

'Of course.'

She helped him walk up the stairs to his room to change.

'Where are we headed to?', Diego asked, preparing for a new mission. He was probably enjoying this far too much.

'The old warehouse on 56th street. They're holding her there.'

'That place is real sketchy. Perfect place to store a hostage.'

'Yeah, well I don't plan on her being there for very long.', I shot back, more aggressive than I should have. Every second that ticked by took me further and further from Dolores. I was agitated as agitated gets.

Vanya came down the stairs holding Annie, and Allison helped Luther step down them, now wearing some more appropriate clothes.

'I found something, guys.', Allison said, holding a bundle of something in her hand.

'Our old domino masks?', Klaus asked, taken back.

'You want us to wear those?', I muttered, put out with the stupidity of how long it was taking to leave.

'For old time's sake. Please.', she said, handing them out. We all took our mask, putting it on our face. Mine fit fairly well. Everyone else's was slightly too small.

'Well, I don't have one.', Vanya said, looking down at the ground.

'Heck, you don't need one. They're dead before they even see your face, sis.', Allison said, patting her on the back. Vanya smiled at that.

'We ready?'

'Heck yeah. Let's go.'

We all ran out of the house, piling into Klaus' car.

Klaus, squished in the middle, looked thrilled.

'Avengers frickin' assemble!'

'Klaus. We're the Umbrella Academy.'

'Yeah. I like the Avengers more. I'm Iron Man.'

'No, Klaus, I'm Iron Man, you're like Captain America or something.', Luther insisted.

'No way, Luther. I'm Iron Man, Diego is Thor, and you're the Hulk.'

'Is that a comment about my body?'

'Well, if the shoe fits, bud!'

'No, no, no. Klaus is Spiderman, I'm Iron Man, and Luther is Thor.', Diego put in.

'Black Widow!', Annie yelled, a random comment amidst the boy's talk.

'Does that make Five Doctor Strange?', Allison asked.

'Yeah, I think that works.'

'Would all of you SHUT UP?' I yelled, done with all their crap. 'The love of my life is being held hostage and you fools are in here arguing about which Avengers character you are. Idiots!'

They all went silent for a bit. Allison sat in the driver's seat across from me.

'Love of your life?', she asked in a low tone.

'Shut up and drive, rumor lady.'

Klaus POV

'This place is raunchy looking.'

We pulled up in my car to a broken down old warehouse, where Dolores was, Five had said.

'I think I bought a few grams of Molly here, once.', I put in, recognizing the building.

The car collectively sighed at my comment. I had thought it might lighten the mood. But apparently not.

'C'mon. We don't have time to waste.', Five said, spatial jumping out of the car and to the entrance of the back of the warehouse. Eager.

We all ran to him, needing a bit to catch up.

'Wait up, Five! Not all of us can hack the space-time continuum.', I said as we ran. 'The last time I ran was to get away from Annie when she had a knife and wouldn't put it down.', I said as we caught up, out of breath.

'I like knives.', Annie commented, bouncing around in Vanya's arms.

'Me too, kid.', Diego told her.

'Klaus, stop whining.', Five scolded me. 'Let me give you a little thought experiment here.'

'Alright?'

'Imagine. If Dave were taken hostage by a group of Vietnamese soldiers, and you had three hours to get him back or there would be a bullet put through his brain, wouldn't you do anything you could to get to him?'

Dang. Really makes you think.

'I ... I'd bring the armies of hell against them if I had to.'

'Precisely.'

He lifted up the door to the warehouse, revealing a terrible musty scent.

'We're gonna get her back, Five.', Allison comforted. He nodded quickly.

'Y'all ready?', Diego asked, facing the door.

'Let's go get our sister.'

And we all stood there, masked up like old times, about to take down whoever stood in between us and Five's love.

'Come out, Ben.', I conjured. 'Time to rip some heads off.'