Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to take out an add on TV and tell everyone that I've buried a million dollars somewhere in town, available for the first person that can find it. I will then give them a clue to where they can find another clue that will help lead them to it. Then I'll sit back and watch. I expect pure pandemonium.
I'll probably be arrested for inciting a riot, but who cares? I'll have money.
Chapter 6: Just Because You're Paranoid
My skills of persuasion weren't particularly my strong point. There were only a handful of people I figured I could convince on my best day that something was wrong. If I couldn't get them to realize that I was dead serious and wasn't crazy, I might as well pack it in and wait for the worst to happen.
My friends would never let me down. You can always count on your friends.
"I think you're nuts," Eddie said right to my face, "It's the Danger Room. It can't hurt us."
Oh, forget that count on your friends crap. To hell with everything. The only person you can count on is yourself. We live and die alone.
I looked around between the amassed members of the Paladins. We had all met up by the lake near the back of the school in between classes during a down period. I had wanted to talk. Now I was regretting it. Everyone was looking at me like I was stupid. Even Ruth, which was doubly impressive because she was wearing a blindfold and had precognitive abilities. Couldn't she look into the future and see I was right? God, I couldn't wait for her to learn how to control that. It would make a lot of things so much easier.
No benefit of the doubt, Ruthie? She was still drinking a slushie that I had bought her when we'd gone past the cafeteria.
"Why is it so hard for people to believe that their shit can malfunction?" I said with a tight grit to my teeth, "Your laptop can crash for no reason. Your smartphone can screw up out of the blue. Why can't the Danger Room?"
Skepticism was the word of the day. Eddie had it in spades, "Your laptop won't plot your murder."
"I'm pretty sure it would if it could," I said back, "I've seen your browser history. Deplorable," The middle finger was language that most of us were fluent in. Eddie proved it by using it right then against me.
"Bel... it's just... a scary thought," Hisako said, trying to reason with me to talk my mood down, "It's unbelievable. If that thing was really alive, it could make all of our worst nightmares come true whenever it wanted. I'm talking the worst stuff you can imagine. That thing has files on different planets and planes of existence... all kinds of villains and terrorist groups..."
Eddie tried to wrap his head around what I was saying. I could see it on his face. It was just something that he didn't want to consider as a possibility. I'm sure he wasn't the only one, "If the Danger Room was a thing that could make its own decisions, and it really was pissed at us-."
He didn't need to finish. It was a pretty scary thought to be trapped in that thing. I had a feeling that what it had made me go through was just it warming up.
Yeah. What I dealt with was nothing. It was just flexing its muscles on me, giving them a test. I was just one kid. If it could kill me on its own, I wouldn't have survived even what it had done to me. Iron Man could kill me by himself, probably.
"I'm gonna fucking smash it," I said out of the blue, getting everyone's undivided attention. Everyone reacted with a start. Poor Ruthie even got brain-freeze from drinking her slushie too fast, "I'm gonna find the central computer and blow it the fuck up."
Eddie jumped up and started pacing around, his steps steadily growing more frantic as he moved, "You... haha... that's such a bad idea," He said, stopping right in front of me to grab my shoulders, "The squad competitions are coming up. They're using the Danger Room for the most important parts of that. You'll automatically put yourself on the shit list for everyone in this school if you destroy it. Students, teachers, X-Men that just hang around. Everyone."
"-It's a fall you can't come back from," Hisako picked up where Eddie left off. She was much calmer about it, but I could see her fingertips drumming off of the outside of her crossed arms, "No one will want anything to do with you, ever again. You'll be a pariah, if you're lucky."
"-And that's if they don't kick you out." Eddie added.
"-Which would be bad," A look of appalled shock came over Hisako's face as she regarded me distastefully, "God help me, I've actually gotten used to having you around."
"Love you too, boo," I shot back lethargically, getting a snort from the girl. Now wasn't the time for the back and forth banter between us that I loved so much, "I know I'm right. I just can't prove it without someone getting killed. That someone not being me," Because it wouldn't pull the same shit on me twice.
Eventually, Ruth spoke up after being silent for most of my story and our conversation, "She believes you," She said quietly, "You are not lying. No, you are not. But... she cannot see anything that would help."
"Of course you believe him. You always take Bellamy's side," Eddie said, shooting a sideways glance at Ruth, who just shrugged in return, "Look, none of this matters. We have to go back in there. This is our chance," He was dead serious as he turned back to me, "With you on the team... we can actually move up; stop being near the bottom of the rankings. We can actually start moving toward being X-Men. Even if the Danger Room is on the fritz, if we're good enough, we can handle it, right? X-Men deal with this kind of stuff all of the time!"
I wanted to say that we aren't X-Men. We were just trainees.
But I wasn't bitch-made. I didn't want to run scared from a fucking room. Eddie wanted to be an X-Man more than I did. It was one of the only things he got gravely serious over, but that didn't mean I didn't want to prove myself. I had a lot of power. I knew that I did. I could feel when I was using it that there was so much more I could do, but what I was already doing could be so destructive by itself...
I wanted to learn how to use it the right way, and I wanted it to go to good use.
Here and now though, I didn't know what to do.
XxX
I hate running. I always thought it was the most worthless exercise. It only comes up when you're running for your life. Other than that, it's nice to have, but who gives a damn about how fast you are? If you don't run track or play football, whatever.
At the moment, I also hated myself, so I spent the night on the treadmill in the gym. The more I ran, the angrier I got. The angrier I got, the more I thought about the stupid Danger Room.
"Speed up," I barked at the voice-activated system. My eyes looked down at the display to see the pace of the machine increase. It read 150 mph.
I was fast. Faster than I thought I was. I didn't know I could go so fast. When I tried to speed up my body, I'd never felt like I'd topped out before. Once I got up to a certain speed, I was intimidated by the thought that I wouldn't be able to see and react.
Tonight, I didn't care. Also, I was on a treadmill. It wasn't like I needed to see everything all around me in case something would hit me from a blind spot out of nowhere. So I was turning it up to see what I could do. I was mad, and without any other outlets, so I wanted to work myself to try and get some of that stress out.
It wasn't working.
"Speed up."
Who in the world did this bullshit for fun? Anyone who runs for recreational purposes, know that we would not get along, just because of that one thing. It's a fundamental difference that we simply would not be able to overcome.
"Speed up!"
The steps I took were propelled forward by the same energy that powered my muscles with every motion. The more momentum I built and the faster I went, steps were more to guide me and keep me moving in the direction of my choice. I discovered this because even going past 300 miles per hour, my feet weren't moving any faster than they used to when I would run in gym class.
And I didn't care. Being fairly fast for a mutant wasn't going to solve my problem.
Yeah, this wasn't helping.
I brought things to an end by backflipping off of the treadmill. All that time spent busting my ass in the gym, and I didn't feel any better. During my cool down, I walked past the Danger Room and just stared at the closed door. I walked up to it, half expecting it to open, but knowing that it wouldn't. Not this time.
I pressed my head to the metal surface and closed my eyes, "I know you can hear me. Every word that's coming out of my mouth right now," I said.
No response. Now was the time that it wanted to shut the hell up, when there was actual heat on it. Of course it could be patient. It was a machine.
That was fine with me though. If it wasn't going to talk, it was sure going to listen. "I know you probably think it's hilarious that nobody believes me. Do you even have a sense of humor? Anyway, you're not going to say another word, because you don't know who's keeping an eye on you," If the people in charge of this place weren't completely incompetent, they would at least heed my warning enough to do that much, "That's fine. I'm going to prove what you're up to. I'm not going to let you hurt anyone... more than you usually do during regular training."
I couldn't hold that against the Danger Room. That was what it was made for, after all. Everything else though...
"I'm not going to lay down and roll over," I said before I started to walk away.
I left it at that. I had said my piece. It knew, if it hadn't already. It wouldn't surprise me if the thing somehow had eyes and ears all over the Institute.
XxX
For a few days, things went without any sort of noticeable incident. I left well enough alone for the moment, but it never left my mind. However, there was a time and a place for everything. I had faith in myself that I would know it when it saw it.
Funnily enough, it happened in a class.
It was during one of Miss Pryde's technology engineering lectures, so I was paying full attention. If I was slacking off, she would know and bring it up later, which was never a fun conversation.
"-it's an important thing to consider. After all, for those of you with hopes of being an X-Man eventually, you never know when the success or failure of your mission will depend on you understanding the equipment you're using. Even if it's not ours, if you can identify what the other guy has, it'll definitely help improve your chances."
I was listening, but I wasn't taking notes on this. There was a very clear line in that class of what she intended you to maintain. Only the technical stuff ever went on quizzes. When Miss Pryde went on tangents like that, it was just because she was personally interested in something she'd taught us and got sidetracked.
It was amusing a lot of the time how into it she got, she seemed to enjoy it – always willing to share her mind with us, and it gave a lot of weary hands a break from writing. Whenever we could, everyone would try to keep it going for as long as possible.
"The kind of things we'll be going over later this year, and beyond if you feel like taking the advanced courses past this one, will be going over all sorts of complex machinery. We deal with more than our fair share of advanced technology, if you hadn't noticed."
A portion of the class laughed at that. I wasn't one, because she put a thought into my head. Hopefully this would work without being too obvious.
I raised my hand. Miss Pryde caught sight of it and pointed to me, "Yes, Bellamy?"
"Where do we get most of our tech from?" I asked inconspicuously enough. There was a lot of crap around campus that most of us hadn't seen anywhere else before, "Is there someone here who comes up with this stuff and builds it? Someone who programs it? What?"
She looked depressed for a moment. I hadn't been looking to sour her mood bringing up bad times. The X-Men had been through a lot of crap over the years.
"There was. One retired though. The other…" She told me, and credit to her, she perked back up quickly. I always did have her pegged to be one of the tougher staff members, "Honestly, a lot of the things we use are designed by staff from the school, things like Cerebro. But a lot of our equipment and technology we've also gotten from elsewhere, some of it repurposed in some way to fit what we need."
"The Blackbird?" I asked/led her on to explain. I remembered that thing. Fun fact: Despite having never seen it with my own eyes, I had apparently been on it twice, both times while unconscious.
"It's originally something we got from S.H.I.E.L.D., but we've modified it and upgraded it so many times, it might as well be our own design at this point," She said with a shrug.
"Upgraded with what?" One of the other kids in my class chimed in with a query of his own. I was about to ask the same thing.
"That mutant I told you about before? His name is Forge. A tech genius. Whenever something new turned up that we could use, he was asked to find a way to repurpose it for us,"
I didn't even have to say anything else. Other students were continuing my train of thought for me. Anything to keep from getting back to the regularly scheduled lecture and put off the quiz at the end of class, "So you would just find stuff and add it on to what you already had?"
Miss Pryde regarded that question with a frown but did chuckle, "That's a crude way of putting it, but it's not entirely wrong," She said, "There's technology that's extremely advanced. Things from advanced alien civilizations, most notably like the Shi'ar Empire. That's where a lot of our more unbelievable stuff originates from, like the Danger Room's-," She finished her sentence and stopped. It was only for a second, but I saw the look she gave me. I hoped my poker face was as dull and taciturn as it felt, because I really wanted to smile.
Sorry teach. But if you aren't going to tell me something I want to know, I'll find a way to get to it myself. I'm not dumb. Sometimes all I need is a little something to point me in the right direction. And if I know enough about you, I'll get it from you if I need to.
XxX
Technology from the Shi'ar Empire, she said. Fortunately, this wasn't restricted information, and our library was awesome.
Man, aliens were scary. There were a few species that I was sucked into checking out as clickbait. The Shi'ar in comparison to some of them weren't so scary, just badass.
These guys were apparently the big dogs in the universe, to say the least. They had countless planets under their domain and a whole galaxy named after them.
Boy, if that didn't make you feel small...
I pulled back away from the computer screen and rubbed my eyes. I had been there since class had let out, an hour by that point.
Miss Pryde appeared and rolled a seat next to me to sit down. She didn't say anything at first, she just checked on what I was reading on the screen and scanning my notes.
I didn't care. It wasn't like I was watching porn.
She slid my notes aside and sighed, "Bellamy, you have to stop."
I gave her a look to let her know that reasoning wasn't going to fly, "I have to? Why?" That was a hard stance to take for only what could be technically considered me studying ahead, "I'm literally not doing anything but research. I'm not running around with a pitchfork and a torch trying to burn the Danger Room."
"Okay, bad wording," My teacher added in exasperation. She couldn't be mad at me for the sort of initiative that was normally supposed to be commended, even if she didn't agree with why, "We checked everything that we could. I know you know that. If there's a problem, we would have found it."
Once again, that was a nice thought. It wasn't a good enough reason for me, "Fine. If I'm wrong, nothing bad's going to happen, so who cares if I try and read up on this stuff?" I asked, flipping through a few papers I'd written on, "If you're wrong, some really nasty shit is going to happen. Sorry about the language."
"If you keep talking about it, you might freak some kids out. You're freaking yourself out."
"No one believes me anyway," I grumbled, still sore on that point, even though I had accepted it by then, "And I don't know if you've noticed, but my people skills could use some work. So I wouldn't exactly have an army of paranoid students behind me, even if I could convince someone."
I had no idea what good that would do anyway. Apparently this school had something of a student uprising before. It had not gone well for anyone involved.
If the staff thought something like that was happening again, and that I was behind it - which would not have been by design, they would smash me.
I'm not exaggerating. They would have torn my ass to pieces if they thought I was trying to start a riot with a bunch of superpowered kids.
I shook that thought off when Miss Pryde put a hand put a hand on my arm. There was a worried look on her face, "Do you think we can't protect you? I know what happened with the Reavers was a… major screw-up."
She could stop right there. I didn't blame anyone for that. Crazy, racist terrorists were going to do what crazy, racist terrorists were going to do. Unless she was omnipotent, she was never going to be able to anticipate that happening.
"I don't hold that against this place. Nobody was around for that," I said. I didn't even know she felt guilty about that. I came out fine… mostly, "If any of you were there, I'm sure it wouldn't have gone down like that. But in there? With a machine that can literally make anything appear right in front of you?" Miss Pryde nodded, knowing what I was getting at. Either she had seen the worst that could be made, or knew what was possible, "It's a scary enough idea when someone's behind the controls. But we trust all of you, so no one ever thinks about what could happen if someone who didn't have our best interests was able to work that thing."
Or if it started to work itself. I left that part unsaid. I had beaten that dead horse down to the skeleton.
"What can I do to convince you that everything is okay?"
Wow. You were really going to hand me a blank check like that, huh? Alright then, "…Replace the central computer in the Danger Room," I ventured to ask.
A less violent, less satisfying version of my original plan. I had a feeling that asking her to let me blow the goddamn thing up wouldn't go over so smoothly.
Lo and behold, Miss Pryde actually looked like she was thinking it over! I didn't want to get my hopes up, but even if she gave me a no, it wouldn't be as hard a no as I'd expected, which left room for future improvement.
She worked her mouth around for the longest time without opening it, as though she were reediting what she wanted to say just before she could speak, "It's… doable. It's a complete pain in the ass, but it's doable," My jaw dropped. Had that really worked? "We would have to have all of the holograms and setting combinations uploaded into the new one, which would take forever, once I find out how to do it. Then we would have to get into the hardware and replace it without damaging anything-."
She was going to do it herself? Was she really that good with computer stuff? Yeah, yeah, anything that needed to be done then. It didn't matter if I had to learn how to trap part of a star with my bare hands for whatever reason. I was in, "Whatever. I don't care. I'll help if you'll let me. I'll do it myself if someone can tell me how. No one else even needs to get involved."
I sounded too eager, talking way too fast. It was not a good look. Oh well. I didn't have to try and be cool in front of a teacher, even if she was only 5 or 6 years older than me.
…Yes I did. I'm not even going to try and lie about that.
My enthusiasm was clear and evident for Miss Pryde to see. If she needed any more of a push to go ahead with what I was asking, that was it, "You know, it's going to be really hard, and you're not getting extra credit for helping."
"Extra credit is for scrubs," I blurted out distastefully. That was almost insulting if I didn't know she meant it as a joke. I didn't need a hand-out assignment to keep my grades up. I was doing great so far this year.
"Fine, I'll see what I can do," She put her hand out for me to shake. When I went to do so, she held it up in a stalling gesture, "I'll just have you know now, I want something in exchange for this, because I'm going to have to jump through some hoops, but I'll talk to you about it later."
"Done," I said without hesitation. This time, she let me seal the deal and shake her hand.
Yes! Problem solving in a positive manner, without violence and chicanery! It's a thing, kids! Your voice can make a difference! Just as long as you know how to subtly strong-arm an adult with actual influence into hearing you out.
…I never said all positive problem-solving is morally upstanding.
XxX
Computer programming was absolutely not my jam. Not in any way, shape, or form. I only learned the basics of it because of class, and I'd never had to use it before to do anything else. I had never wanted to. It was tedious and unfulfilling. In this case, I had to in order to help Miss Pryde redo everything for the Danger Room.
I don't know how she got permission from Cyclops, because I know full well she didn't go anywhere near Miss Frost. The moment she asked that woman for something, I was going to find a way to go buy a lottery ticket, because anything was possible.
In the meantime, people were still using the Danger Room, myself included. I rested with the confidence that the computer controlling it all wouldn't pull anything until it had its ducks in a row to make its strike count.
After classes and anything else I had planned in my official schedule, like hand-to-hand training, or squad practice, I met up with Miss Pryde to help her with what needed to be done.
My weekdays were full-up, at least in the daytime. And my weekends had a purpose to them for a little while. It was good for me, because it left me less time to slack off, making it easier to entertain myself at night when I couldn't sleep.
On one Friday afternoon, I was free and clear of regular activities and killing time before I headed off to help Miss Pryde again. I spent my time hanging out under a tree, leaning against Saberwolf.
Apparently he did that kind of thing all the time. Why an A.I. enjoyed lazing around like a dog, I didn't know.
"You're really not comfortable, Wolf," I told him out of the blue. His metal frame was against the back of my head as I surfed the web on my phone.
"My exoskeleton was designed for durability in combat. Not for relaxation," Wolf replied, "Are you not busy today?"
"I will be," I told him, turning my head toward him and elbowing him on the side, "What? You miss me when I'm gone or something?"
"You are the only person that I know well enough to be around without frightening them," He explained.
It was a fair point. Eddie was clearly wary of him. Hisako, not as much, but it was still there. He still got looks from others around the school as well. Just wait until they got q load of the weapons.
"You know you can go hang out with Ruthie, right?" I told him, trying to help with a fix, "She likes you as much as I do."
Wolf's head lifted off of the grass as though it had just occurred to him, "That... is an acceptable solution."
I basked in the superior glow of my teenage problem solving skills, "I'm here to help. Just be patient with her it'll take some time to figure out what she's talking about."
"How long?"
"I'm not sure," I grumbled, turning mu attention back to my phone, "I'll let you know when I figure her out myself."
A green glow surrounded my phone and I immediately lifted my hand to take aim. There was only one person I knew with telekinesis, and I was pointed in the right direction too. Bonus points for me.
My phone hovered in the air where I had been holding it. I wasn't even looking at it. I was staring at Julian Keller, walking with at least two members of his team, Santo and the red-haired girl with silver skin, another kid covered from nearly head-to-toe in clearly synthetic clothes, and another kid with lizard-like traits. If he was going to fuck with me, he could at least be smart enough to do it from the center of his crew where I couldn't pick him off at will.
"If you wouldn't mind, could you give that back, please," I asked pleasantly. 'Or I'll shoot you in the face again,' was the unsaid threat that came with the glowing skin of my fist, "I wasn't done with it."
Just like I wasn't done with my apple. Never forget the apple. I hadn't had another one that had tasted as good ever since.
Julian slowly put his hands down and the phone dropped into my waiting hand, safe and sound, "Just thought I'd grace you with my presence."
"I'm so blessed," I deadpanned before nodding to the rest of his team, "What's up, people who hate me by association?"
That wasn't fair. Not everyone on the Hellions were jerks. Just… half of them. Yeah. Half was a good number.
The lizard kid raised his hand, "I'm not on his team, so I don't hate you. I think you blasting him is Hi-Larious."
Julian turned and looked at him in offense, "Vic! I thought we were friends!"
The lizard kid took it in stride, letting Julian's indignation slide off like water, "We are. And as your friend, I've wanted to slug you more than a few times myself," He pointed his thumb over at me, "I'm pretty sure this guy hadn't built up as much of a tolerance for your certain kind of personality yet."
"He was hopped up on light juice, apparently," The silver girl recalled sternly, though I know I saw a hint of a smile appear on her face for a split-second, "You are an acquired taste though, Julian."
I waved off the callback to what I told her when I first met most of the Hellions, "I've given more terrible excuses that had less truth to them for worse things," I said, "Can we get past that, please? I didn't even get your name last time because I was so sure you all wanted to strangle me."
She tried to keep up a serious image, but eventually relented with a sigh, "Alright. Fair enough. I'm Cessily," She pointed to the emo-looking kid and then to the green lizard dude, "These two are Kevin and Victor."
Saberwolf had perked up and taken notice while we had all been talking and let his presence finally be known, "Bellamy, I still have relatively little communication experience with humans. My ability to read social situation not explicitly expressed by speech is lacking, but I understand that group positioning and body language are also telling indicators. Are these people hostile to you?"
I gave Wolf an odd look. The last thing I needed was for him to go into combat mode, or whatever the fuck he called whenever his eye panels glowed red and he started fighting, "No," I paused and looked at Julian and Santo, "…Err, maybe one or two. We'll see. Just, don't worry about it."
Julian let out a laugh and walked towards us, turning his nose up at us, "Teaching your dog tricks? That's adorable."
Wolf let out an annoyed robotic growl that only I was close enough to hear, "Yeah. He's got a few pretty good ones," I asked, getting off of him to let him stand up, "Wolf, why don't you show him how you shake?"
He lifted his front paw as Julian smirked and reached out a hand. As he got closer, Wolf let his retractable blade claws jut out. Julian jumped back with an added telekinetic boost, smacking into Santo's gigantic, rocky form, "What the hell?"
Santo found it hilarious, "Dude, you're scared of the metal puppy? You flew like, twenty feet back!"
Julian turned around and shoved Santo, not even managing to budge the big mutant's arm, "We're not all made of rock, Santo! That thing pulled razorblades out of its feet! What is it?"
"I am IF Unit 5a-8re. Model W0-11f," Wolf explained, his tail waving in the air, "And I am no one's pet," He seemed almost pleased by scaring the daylights out of Julian. Good for him.
"Just call him Saberwolf. He's not so bad. Just don't say he belongs to anyone, or he'll get pissy," I casually warned them, "I mean, I don't really care if he gets mad at any of you, but then he usually gets mad at me too, because everyone just assumes that he's mine," I turned to Wolf purposefully, "Another reason you should spent more time with Ruthie."
"Point taken," Wolf acknowledged amicably.
Julian stood off to the side and grumbled at how his misfortune was being glossed over, "So we're just ignoring the walking weapon?"
"Yeah. It's worked out well so far for me," I said, getting up and slinging my bag over my neck and shoulder, "So you guys didn't want something, did you? I've got somewhere to be in a few minutes."
"No, we just saw you and thought we'd make your day by coming over," Santo said with a big, wide grin.
"Honestly, you looked bored," Cessily said, walking over to Wolf to look him over. He was much nicer to her because she'd approached him with some measure of respect, seeing as how he was obviously sentient. She offered her hand for a shake, which he actually gave.
Jackass. It had to have been because she was a girl. Apparently he had been let on the principles of chivalry at some point. If I had tried that, even then, he'd have just looked at me and said something smart, or did what he did to scare Julian. Maybe worse, since he knew I knew about the chainsaw.
Anyway, she had a point. When someone was right, they were right. Wolf was fine with the monotony for the most part, but I couldn't quite say the same. This little run-in was the most action I'd gotten all day. When there wasn't training to be done, my adrenaline fix was never quite satisfied.
By now Julian had regained his usual proud demeanor, "You do seem to be short on friends, Marcher. Maybe that's why everyone sees you spending so much time with your advisor."
"Actually, there might be something to that," I started, grinning when he clearly seemed thrown off by that admission, "I'm sitting outside by myself with an A.I. wolf. My list of living, breathing friends is kind of low."
"You sure it's not just because you're looking for some kind of edge in squad competitions?" Santo suggested with some cheek intended, "It's the only way you'll have even a snowball's chance in hell of beating the Hellions," He said, high-fiving Julian.
"Quality, not quantity, suckers," I shot back.
XxX
Honestly, computer programming wasn't the hardest thing in the world. After you got the gist of it, it was just a matter of being thorough and precise.
At least, my part wasn't that hard. I wasn't building any virtual worlds or anything. All I was doing was punching up the source code for the programs that Miss Pryde was doing the real work on.
I leaned back in my chair and cracked my knuckles. My fingers and wrists were worn from diligently typing for hours.
Miss Pryde's office wasn't very big, as she was a junior staff member, but it was well-kept. She had music going quietly to try and offset the mind-numbing monotony of the work we were doing.
"Whew!" She exclaimed, leaning back and stretching in her chair. She took off a pair of glasses she'd been wearing and rubbed her eyes, "So, are you ready to fall asleep yet?"
"Not yet," I replied, keeping my eyes on the window I was copying my info from, "Mostly because I can't. I know you know that."
"Well that explains why you've gotten grumpier since we first met."
No. Ask my family. Ask anyone who ever talks to me. I couldn't blame that on not getting any sleep. That was all me. Even my attempts at being nice were always awkward or came with some teeth. I was always sort of a surly S.O.B.
"No, it just means I like you enough to not fake it anymore," I said told her, "You're an X-Man, and my teacher. That gives you two times the authority over me, Miss Pryde. "
That, and the fact that you were cool as hell.
She raised an eyebrow from behind her glasses, "We're not in class or doing any team training right now, Bel. I told you, you can call me Kitty."
I tested the name in my mouth and shook my head in distaste. The look on my face must have been expressive, because she started laughing at me. I couldn't help it. Calling her by her name like that was weird. We were not equals.
"Seriously. If you keep calling me 'Miss'… I'm telling you, it's getting old fast," Miss Pryde told me, "I have enough reminders that I've been around here way longer than the rest of you."
Fair enough. She really wasn't old enough to have someone like me address her as 'Miss' all the time. Being called 'Mister' by teenagers when I was in my early to mid-twenties would have worked my nerves too.
"I'll try. No promises," I turned her way and leaned back in my chair to look at her under the brim of my hat, "I told you, it feels… off. Just like all of this," I said, alluding to the work we were doing, "I'm never going to enjoy this."
I wasn't a numbers and processes kind of guy. Plugging in formulas and whatnot and hoping for a good finished product wasn't my style. I liked to see my results as I was making headway.
Miss Pryde waved me off, "Well, it's not really fair for you to expect to get any of this. You're still new to regular programming. It's kind of not meant for Earthlings to understand in the first place. It had to be translated to a programming language that people and computers on this plant could have a chance at understanding."
Well that was certainly a piece of news I could have used before I took a look at the original code and felt like a complete rube. No wonder the notes I'd brought with me from class for the first few evenings I'd been helping her had been useless, "So you don't understand all of it?"
Miss Pryde shook her head, "I'm not some super-genius. I get by, but if you ever asked me to come up with original programming using the Shi'ar method, I'd be as lost as you. It's hard to understand for another reason. because Shi'ar technology is adaptable, the code we put in can change over time."
"As in… it evolves," I said, trying to be completely calm so as not to throw the pleasant conversation off of the tracks... even though I had just heard some more damning evidence that led more credence to my theory.
What the fuck did she think that was supposed to mean to me, it evolved. Was that supposed to be something to put me at ease? Because it definitely didn't. It was likely that she was back in lecture mode though, and didn't even consider it because I had been being good about Danger Room paranoia lately.
Okay. Perhaps I was being a bit too hasty. Maybe it wasn't so bad.
"Mmm. More like upgrades. It's basically the same thing, but for computers and the like," Miss Pryde told me. I screamed inside of my own head. Loud. On the outside, I just smiled and nodded. That's the secret, kids. Just smile and nod, "It's amazing. The technology can find out what it needs to better adhere to its purpose and make the adjustments itself."
None of that would have bothered me had the damn room not tried to actively kill me. Apparently, an active intellect was needed for some reason. There was probably some logical reason for it. It would likely make for a more comprehensive program with a more flexible simulation, but still...
If anyone believed me, this would have made them think the same way. I know it.
Whatever. I was solving the problem. It was being handled. There was no need to stress. Once we finished, we could swap the damn central computer out and repeat the cycle a few years later. Hopefully, then it wouldn't be my problem.
XxX
All of the training squads were assembled on the main lawn, all decked out in their uniforms for a schoolwide meeting. All of the school's students were there, even the ones that weren't old enough to be assigned to any teams.
Everyone was excited about it. It was easy to see why. It wasn't like we had any sports teams that could compete with other schools, or even among other teams on campus. This was the closest thing to organized sports anyone was going to see at this school.
Standing with my team, I tried to take a headcount of the students involved. I stopped once I got to 45, because there were more than I could see to add to the total without fudging the numbers.
I was also eyeing all of the girls on the other teams. Whoever's idea it was to put a bunch of fine teenage girls in tight bodysuits, the thought was much appreciated.
Don't judge me. I got enough of that from my own teammate.
Hisako smacked me on the arm while I was getting a look at some of the other X-Men trainees, "Would you quit it and pay attention?" She hissed at me in a whisper, "Even Eddie's taking this more seriously than you are."
Eddie was scared out of his mind. He was taking this too seriously and throwing himself off. Fundamentally changing who you were under pressure was the easiest way to psyche yourself out.
I was trying to stay loose, which wasn't hard. This was all basically a giant field exercise. It was every student being asked, 'What did you learn?' about dealing with danger. I could deal with that. I had also arrived after the Paladins' rough patch in the last series of tests, so I wasn't triggered by the idea of competing with the others.
"I will when the assembly actually starts. No one's talking yet. In the meantime," I pointed at my blue-green eyes to mark how much light I was taking in. "I'm solar-powered, and we're standing out in the middle of the sun. I'm getting antsy. I need to occupy my mind."
Hisako rolled her eyes at what I called 'occupying my mind', "You can stop sizing up the other girls."
Well just make the day even more boring for me, why don't you? "Fair enough. I can start looking at you if you want me to," What else was I supposed to do to pass the time?
And aside from that, the only reason I hadn't before was so I didn't screw up the team dynamic. Hisako and I got into it with each other routinely enough to begin with. We had a bit of a rivalry going. We always tried to outdo each other in the field, even when we were working together. I think it was because we both thought we were good and we were competitive with each other. Had that not been a thing, I would have absolutely ogled her more. The girl was pretty cute.
"You're an ass, Bel," Well, when we weren't at each other's throats, at least. That shit wasn't cute.
"What? How am I being an ass? What's the problem here?" I said, "I'm not whistling, making comments, or hitting on anybody. I'm just looking. I wish somebody was looking at me."
That seemed to amuse her, which, okay. Laughing at my expense was a few positive notches above any form of anger, "Really now?"
"Yes. I for one, can only hope that I look as good to some of these girls as all of them look to me."
"Good luck with that."
"I know you don't mean that, but thank you."
The two of us shut up as all of the squad instructors took the stage and stood in a line. Miss Pryde was able to see us from where she was and gave us all a supportive smile as the Headmaster Cyclops and Headmistress Frost stood ahead of them by the microphone.
"Attention, everyone," Cyclops said, getting an immediate dead silence from all of the students, "Good morning. Now, as I'm sure most of you are aware, in one week, we'll begin the second of the three scheduled Field Day events we have this year. To reiterate, the squad that has the best average score for all three Field Day events will be declared the winners."
He quickly started droning on with some speech about doing our best and using these exercises to prepare ourselves for the responsibility that some of us will face one day as X-Men. Yawn. I started whispering to my friends, "What was our score during the first Field Day?" I asked, "Actually, better question. Where did we place?"
Eddie spoke up, his eyes still cast on the stage in front of us as Cyclops continued to blather on to fill time. Just because you were a leader didn't mean you had to talk to fill time and make things feel important. All of the squad advisers up there with him even looked bored to tears, "Out of the nineteen squads, we were twelfth," He said, talking about it like a reprehensible memory.
"That's not so bad," I said. When they said we had sucked, I had been thinking that it had been some insurmountable ranking, somewhere closer to dead-last, "We can totally make a push closer to the top this time."
"When you see our scores compared to the top five squads, you won't be saying that," Hisako told me, "The Hellions, the Corsairs, the New Mutants, the Paragons, and Alpha Squadron. We didn't even get close."
"The lowest scoring team out of those five still had at so many points over us," Eddie followed up, punching into his own palm, "If we want to catch up, we'll have to be nearly perfect."
Despite the name, Field Day was split up into multiple days, with the big time team events happening on one day that the event was given the title for. The rules were based on multiple averages. We would all be scored individually in various categories, then as a team, and then during practical exercises. The average individual scores would be averaged together with the team and practical exercise scores.
Everyone would know how everyone did. Not just the kids competing. Everyone around the school. So you had to be good, because if you weren't there wasn't a person at the Institute who wouldn't be aware of it.
"Well, last time, you didn't have me," I can admit it, I was preening like a peacock as I said that. Eyes lighting up and everything, "I'm a bad loser, and I guess I need to spread that mentality around to the rest of you. Because I might not be the person that gets you to the promised land, but goddamn it, I can get you pissed off enough that we aren't getting there to make you pull us the rest of the way off of sheer rage."
Hisako and Eddie looked at each other before the former spoke up, "...I'm perfectly fine with that."
"Yeah, me too," Eddie said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "Sounds good."
I had a week to find out the rest of what made us all tick as individuals and how to mash that together for maximum effectiveness. For the most part, I knew where I stood as a person, but there were still a few blank spots with the others. If we were going to make a real splash during this Field Day, we needed every edge we could get.
In the grand scheme of things, when we were all on the same page, the Paladins had the potential to be a well-oiled machine. And the fuel that we would be driven by would be frustration, high expectations, and lots of sarcasm.
"Team meeting after the assembly?" I asked, getting nods from everyone, "Ruth, I'm going to need to ask you for a big favor."
XxX
We didn't call team meetings. Ever. If we weren't scheduled to meet up and do things, we really didn't hang out much at all. I did with Ruth and Hisako did with Eddie, but we rarely comingled aside from that.
I idly noted that the last two times we had all met up outside of official Paladin business, I had been the one to make the summons.
I wanted to think that we all just had different schedules throughout the day and whatnot, but those were just excuses. The fact was, we were not as close as we could have been or should have been. I had been with them long enough for that to be worked on, but we never did for one reason or another.
There was a distance that wasn't being shortened. I didn't expect one little powwow to fix it immediately, but any progress was to be lauded in this case. It was overdue.
"So what's up, Bel?" Eddie asked after we had found a place to sit and get comfortable. We had all changed back into our regular clothes and gathered at some of the tables outside of the cafeteria.
"I thought of something back at the assembly," I said to everyone with me, "I think we have a few blocks keeping us from being as good as we can be."
"And you have a solution?" Hisako asked. I nodded confidently, "I'm so sure."
"Feel free to be as sarcastic as you want after you hear me out!" I chirped back positively.
Eddie leaned over and tried to quietly urge her on, "Come on, Hisako. It's Bel."
"I know," She said. I put on my most pathetic face. It was as far as I was willing to go. I wasn't going to beg. Thankfully, it worked, "...Fine. Make it count. I'm all ears."
Whoo! Foot in the door! I'll take that inch and the mile behind it, thank you.
I threw an arm around Ruth's shoulders to try and comfort her. If she hadn't known what I had planned when I called for the meeting, she likely knew now. She was nervous, "I know you've read all of our minds," She shrunk into herself at what she saw as an accusation, "It's okay with me. I don't think it's on purpose, and even if it is... well, I don't really have anything to hide. But if you've done that, I need you to tell me some stuff about all of us. Myself included."
Everyone made to say something, but I held a hand up and waited for Ruth to speak first. Her hands balled up tightly at the bottom of her blouse as her head was held down, "She wants to help. Whatever Bellamy wants to know, she can tell you," She admitted quietly before shaking her head, "But... she won't say anything. Not if it gets the others angry with her."
Hisako took the opportunity to let her feelings be felt, "I don't know what you're getting at with all of this, Bel," She said, staring at me across the table, "But I definitely don't like the idea of my personal stuff getting out there to the rest of you."
I didn't think it would be easy to get them all to go along with it, but I was prepared to make concessions, "I think this will help bring us closer together, work together better. If it doesn't work, and we still stink up the joint, after Field Day, I'll let you kick me in the nuts," I said, looking her dead in the eyes.
"Deal."
No hesitation whatsoever. I didn't know how to feel about that. I mean, I got what I wanted, but she was way too willing to go along with it. In any event, it moved things along, "Eddie?"
"Do I get the same deal?" He asked, looking incredible wary at the thought of spilling his brains to the rest of us, even in a secondhand manner, "I don't want to do this for nothing."
"It won't be for nothing, but two of you aren't kicking me in the balls," I told him. Hisako looked too smug for her own good at that, "That's a one-person deal. What else can I do?"
He hesitated at first, but eventually he leaned across the table so he could whisper something to me that he didn't want anyone else to hear. What he told me was pretty surprising, but in the end, it wasn't something that was impossible. Just unlikely. I would have to put in some work to make that happen, but if things went well, I wouldn't have to do anything at all.
This was going to work.
In the end, I agreed, "I think I can do that. I'll give it my best shot if it comes down to it," He seemed mollified by that and nodded his consent. Good, "Alright. For the sake of complete transparency, let's start with me. Ruthie, when you've looked into my head, what do you see? Who am I?"
"Bellamy wants to be important. He came to the Institute because he saw it as a chance to be more than just a normal person. A chance for people to look at him and think he has worth. Bellamy wants people to like him, but doesn't know how. No. It makes him angry that he doesn't know how to approach others to make a good first impression, so he believes impressing them with what he can do will bring more people to him. He wants to be a leader. He wants people to look up to him."
I let what she said sink in before launching straight into the next question, "And what am I afraid of, more than anything else?" This was my bright idea, after all. I had better have been game for it.
"That you are not worth it. That if you get people to believe in you, you will let them all down. That if you are put into a situation where others are depending on you, you will get them hurt," She paused and swallowed before she finished, "...Like you think you let me get hurt."
I should have been better. I would be better. That was what flashed through my mind as quick as a bolt of lightning. But that wasn't what was important at the moment.
"It's okay," I told her. Just a little positive reinforcement went a long way when it came to Ruth using her powers. Information was powerful, I needed her to know that, "Lastly, what do I think of everyone on the team?"
"Bellamy thinks we are the best, or that we can be," Ruth said aloud. Her demeanor brightened up considerably, "He is very proud of the Paladins. Even me," I gave her a sharp nudge, pulling a confused hum out of her, "Pardon?"
"Don't do that," I told her. That kind of crap wasn't going to help her, especially if it built up for too long. I saw it too much, and it was a thing. It needed to not be, as soon as possible, "If you can't see in yourself what I see in you, I'll just have to keep working on you until you do," I looked around at everyone else, "That's kind of how I feel about all of you. If you all have to be stuck with me, I want to make it worthwhile for you."
Everyone was quiet until I shrugged at the end of what I had to say. Everyone visibly loosened up and relaxed. I didn't think they'd take what I had to say that seriously.
"That's all I've got," I said before looking around at the others, "Anyone else want to volunteer to go next, or what?"
My eyes rested on Hisako. If she thought there was some kind of conspiracy, she didn't say so. Still, no matter how she acted, she wasn't comfortable with this.
"Fine. Do me next. I don't care," Hisako said, trying to play it cooler than she actually felt. Her body language wasn't quite appropriate for someone who didn't care, "Go for it."
With permission given, Ruth cleared her throat and started in on Hisako, "Family is very important to Hisako. She misses her own back home in Japan, very much, yes, but she wants to believe that she can find something like it in us."
I looked over at the girl in question. She seemed embarrassed at that being revealed, but didn't deny any of it.
"But-," Ruth continued before I could get too far ahead of myself, "-She does not think that we can all support each other when things get bad. Some things have given her hope, but she was not there for the event that did so, so that hope is very small."
"You want people to believe in you? I want to believe in you," Hisako said to me, "Give me a reason."
Well wasn't that nice? The scamp. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like I wanted to hug a tapir and puke rainbows.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked. That time, I didn't look at Ruth, expecting her to tell us. I looked right at Hisako. She didn't turn away. She faced me down directly, defiantly.
Sometimes it felt like Hisako resented me for some reason. I hoped we would get down to why it seemed like that.
She bit her lip, glared me down, and spoke her mind, "I'm afraid that all of this is too big. We're kids. And one day, we're going to have to go out and fight for our lives. Maybe save the world. Can we do that? What kind of training could possibly get you ready to handle something like that? I feel like we're going to get killed, and in the end, we won't make any sort of difference."
There was a graveyard on the Institute grounds. I had never been there personally. It was there for a reason. Not because people got sick and died. There weren't just one or two graves there in case something happened. They were there because something bad happening and lives being claimed on our side was an inevitability.
I thought of Miss Pryde, and when I'd inadvertently brought up other X-Men who... weren't with us anymore. More than likely, at least one of the two people she had told me about were dead. That made me feel like an asshole, and gave more credence to what Hisako was saying.
How many times had the X-Men come up short when it had really counted, and how many people, humans and mutants, suffered as a result? How many of their own had suffered?
We could have been sitting there all day trying to break that down without someone telling us.
"What does Hisako think of the team?" I asked, trying to move things forward.
"Eddie is her favorite," Ruth said, getting a 'hell yeah, I am' out of the person in question, "He was the first other member of the team. Before Bellamy showed up, he was the only person she felt like she could talk to. Because of this, Hisako still doesn't trust Bellamy yet."
I had figured I would get a few surprises, but hearing that Hisako didn't trust me never figured into those ideas, "What? Really?" I couldn't think of what I'd done to make that happen.
Hisako Ichiki had no problems sharing.
"I think you're a loudmouth," She said bluntly. Her eyes were locked on mine as though she were daring me to dispute any of it. No doubt, there were plenty of examples, "You're good. You're really good. But even with some of the dumb, cocksure stuff that comes out of your mouth, I think it's just talk. I think you don't even know how good you are," Well, at least there was some positive in this, "If you waited and listened sometimes instead of thinking that you have all of the answers somewhere inside that head of yours, I think we would get along better. But you always think you're right, and when you are, you're a complete ass about it."
I didn't expect anyone to come forward with what they were thinking willingly, or that extensively. And yet here we sat, and I don't think Hisako pulled any punches. The fact that Ruth wasn't saying anything else led me to believe that she was about to say something similar, likely in a much nicer way, even if it would have been just as direct.
For once, I didn't immediately have a response to something that she said. That was new.
...Maybe she had a point if that was my first thought?
"I...huh..." I fumbled around for a few moments before I decided not to go for something snappy.
There was a time and a place for everything. This wasn't it. We all needed something honest and straightforward.
Measured, well-thought out words were what would keep the ship upright, "...Okay. I can see that. If you think I run my mouth all of the time, it's kind of a matter of, well, you guys," Hisako raised an eyebrow skeptically, "I've never been in a position where I was responsible for anyone else before. I've never been on any teams. Never played sports. I don't know how to calm people down or make them believe things are okay in any other way than to convince myself that everything is under control, out loud."
Eddie's jaw was slacked open for a few seconds before he said what was on his mind, "Bro, that 'you're not crazy' thing that you were trying to convince Miss Frost about? I'm thinking there might actually be something to that."
I could deal with being called crazy, as long as it didn't affect whether people thought I was telling the truth.
"Maybe," I partially admitted, "But my mindset is, who in the hell is going to believe in you if you don't even believe in yourself?" I told them before turning directly to Hisako, "I won't change everything. I don't even think I can. But I can work on some of it. The bad parts of it. Just... instead of fighting with me on things, could you call me out on it more? That'd probably help."
"Oh I will. You don't even need to worry about that," Hisako said. Fair enough. If I had to get a telepath poking around in her head to get that out of her in the first place, I'd better damn well believe she was going to be reminding me of it whenever it came up.
I reached forward across the table with my hand extended. She regarded it for a moment before grabbing onto it and giving it a shake. The implication went unsaid, but it didn't need to be talked about. She was telling me to be better, I was telling her to hold me accountable.
That left Eddie up next. He didn't seem excited at all. Watching Hisako and I go did nothing to make him feel any better about it. We knew he would eventually, though. There was no rush. We had all day. He drummed his fingers on the table irritably before shooting his eyes over to Ruth who looked uncomfortable at the attention.
Whatever she was about to say, no matter how much he didn't like it, he had better not blame her. Blame me. I told her to do this, "Alright... go ahead."
Good man.
My blind friend took a deep breath and launched into our resident high-flyer's psychological breakdown, "Eddie wants to be an X-Man more than anything. He believes he can be the best there ever was. When he flies, he feels invincible."
"None of you would understand, man," Eddie said, leaning back in his chair, more relaxed than he'd been since we'd met up that morning for the assembly, "That control in the air. I swear, the first time I ever took off, it felt more natural than walking. I picked it up so fast. The only reason I don't fly everywhere is because the rest of you can't. It's freedom that I can't even explain. It's... the best. It's everything to me."
I understood. My powers made me feel strong, like I could handle anything, just so long as I had enough juice to make some sort of move. It wasn't hard to think that others felt something similar to that about their own. It wasn't the end-all though. Not for me.
But this was what I wanted. I wanted everyone to talk about what they were thinking and feeling without keeping hush-hush about it until it was forced out. The easier we found it to go to each other about these kinds of things, the better everything would be when we worked together. More trust. Better fields of communication. More of a desire to make things work for the people next to you. At least, that was my idea.
The first step was opening ourselves up, making ourselves vulnerable, and showing that we wouldn't drive a stake into each other at the first show of weakness or undesirable traits.
I gave Ruth a little pat on the back of her hand to let her know it was okay to keep going, following the same train of questioning that we had been using so far, "Eddie is afraid of losing his powers. The thought of having them taken away, of not being able to be here and do what he does with us anymore frightens him more than anything. Yes," She deliberately explained.
"What does he think of us?" I asked.
"I can answer that for myself," Eddie volunteered, raising his hand before speaking to all of us, "Hisako, you're my best friend. Period. But you knew that already," The Japanese girl grinned and nodded, getting a matching grin out of Eddie as well before he turned to me, "I like Bellamy too. You're a little intense and fuck if I know how the wiring in your head works. Sometimes I think you've got brain stew sloshing around up there."
I couldn't dispute that. Nor did I necessarily want to. I didn't see that as a bad thing, "Eh. It's worked so far," I said with a shrug.
"Right. It works. As a team, we get along, and we have fun, right?" It was then that the good vibes disappeared. He sighed deeply and looked over at our little telepath, Ruth. I could tell right then, this wouldn't be great, "And for you. I know you're nice. I think you're weird though. And you seeing the future scares the crap out of me, because you never see anything good. Like, 'oh, Eddie's going to find $10,000 tomorrow,' or, 'Bel's going to get laid in six months.' Never anything like that. It's always fire and brimstone."
Things were getting a little too heavy, even for what I wanted, "I take offense to the 'six months' thing," I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. That was usually Eddie's job though. I wasn't as good at it, "I'm pretty sure I could make it happen sooner than that if I wanted to. Maybe."
Hisako sent me a grateful look for trying. I wasn't sure how well it actually worked, though, because it didn't change the content of what Eddie was saying.
Credit to him, he didn't shy away from what he was saying, or try to sugarcoat it. This really wasn't the time or the place for that, "I feel like if I hang out around you for long enough, you'll see something that'll happen to me. Something really bad. And I don't want to know. That's why I stay away from you."
Because Ruthie's premonitions always came true. Always. She saw a clear enough picture for the most part to get what was going on, but she never saw enough to let anyone know how to stop it. I still had yet to find a way to make that work for her.
And speaking of whom, it was her turn.
"Alright, that's everyone except for one," I said. Ruth moved away from me and shifted around in her seat. Come on. I needed her to talk to us, "We needed you to do the honors last because you were the one who had to read the rest of us. So I'll just say, we won't really be able to tell if you're not telling the truth. This is going to take a little trust from us, here."
Hearing everyone else go first was supposed to soften her up enough to make it easier for her. None of us had any way of verifying if what she was saying was the truth, so I hoped all of us getting our business put out there would show her that everything would be fine.
Ruthie was braver than I gave her credit for. It didn't take much coaxing at all for her to start in on herself.
"Pardon, she has no reason to lie to you," Our blind, oftentimes confusing teammate said, "She... has never felt useful. Not now. Not before she came to the Institute either, no. She does not take pride in her powers the way the rest of you do, because they never help."
She wasn't dumb, and she wasn't deaf. She had ears. As did I. People didn't just avoid Ruth because they were afraid they would be the subjects of one of her visions, some of them were of the mindset that being around her would cause the awful things she foresaw to happen to them, as though she were bad luck.
If she had eyes, I knew that they would be watering. I could hear it in her voice, "Yes, she is afraid that no one likes her. That her only friends spend time with her just because they have to. Sorry," Her head was down to hide the fact that her lip was quivering. I felt terrible, "She feels like she is letting everyone down during missions and making them hate her even more."
Hisako was over beside her before I could even say anything, "We don't hate you," She said, gathering Ruth up into a hug, "Why would you say that? I know you didn't read that off of anyone here."
Eddie rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. Girls crying, even if you couldn't necessarily see tears from Ruth, always made it awkward for guys who didn't know how to respond. I was right there with him, "No. I mean, yeah, I think you're weird and you freak me out a lot, but I don't hate you. Are you kidding?"
My reaction was a bit more reserved.
I stayed where I was, sat off to the side, pulling my hat down over my head, "If you need me to tell you that I like you at this point, I need more work on my people skills than I thought I did." I told her.
Honestly, it irritated me that I had to say it more than anything else. We had to find a way to fix all of that negative shit she had going on. That was another story for another time though.
…Good lord, was it ever.
That aside, this was what I wanted for the most part. I wanted everyone to see that we didn't have any plots and schemes. We didn't want anything at the expense of someone else.
I clapped my hands together to get everyone's attention, "I want us to be as awesome as I know we are," I said, "It doesn't matter that there are just four of us. I don't think we can be the best, I know we can be. Do you?"
I looked at Eddie as I said that. He seemed offended at the thought that he would accept being a loser, "Of course."
He wanted it, probably more than I did.
"This is going to be a lot of work," I said, getting up and starting to walk around the table, "We're all different. Really different, if you haven't realized that until now. But there isn't any reason we can't make this work. I want to," Stopping behind Ruth, I set my hands on her shoulders, "I like who we have and what we have going for us. Do you?"
Hisako looked over at me from where she was now sitting next to Ruth, "I never had any problems with anyone else, and I just told you that I thought you were good. Does that answer the question?"
"It does," I gave her what I hoped was a smile that showed how comfortable I was with everyone, "Now… who's up for embarrassing all of the other teams? Do we all get gaudy-ass trophies for winning?"
"Oh yeah," Hisako confirmed with a laugh.
"No one else gets any bullshit 'you did your best' participation trophies?" I asked as a follow-up question.
"Nope," Eddie said, popping the 'p' sound, "Plus, the winners are plastered all over the yearbook at the end of the school year."
The smile on my face pulled at my lips so hard, I'm sure it looked like some kind of expression of diabolical glee, "Well if I wasn't sold on this whole thing before, I definitely am now," The only thing better than winning was when it lingered, and other people couldn't get away from the fact that you had won, "Alright, now that we're all on the same page, we need to come up with some cool team shit to show we're cohesive."
If Hisako had been onboard before, she had fallen off of the wagon right there, "What, winning isn't enough?" Clearly, someone was too cool for squad bonding.
I scoffed as though it were obvious. Eddie backed me up by rolling his eyes and answering for me, "Of course not. They need to realize that we're an unstoppable force. We need a catchphrase like 'Paladin up', or something that's not lame. Ooh! Bel! Some kind of long, elaborate team handshake. What do you got?"
I stared at Eddie flatly for a few seconds before responding, "Alright, I'm going to assume that you wanted me to come up with a handshake because this was my idea, and not because I'm black."
That notion was quickly shot down by the air-capable redhead, "No, it's definitely because you're black," He said, completely casually.
Well, at least he was honest about it, "…I'm not even offended, because I do have ideas," I said, jumping over to him to start practicing, "Here. It's front-back-front-front-rotate-slide-."
He held his hands up to stop me before I had even gotten into it, "Wait-wait-wait, slow down. It's front-back what?"
"I'm showing you. Watch what I'm doing. All of that stuff was just the start of it." "Like I said, it's front-back-front-front-rotate-slide…"
I was pumped. I was psyched up and ready to go. Dare I say, I was excited to be a part of Field Day.
Team chemistry was a work in progress that I felt was coming along. We had all sat down and had a much needed talk, of which I figured this would not be the last.
I was getting my ducks in a row in every way that I could see.
So why the hell did I have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I was brushing off something important?
Surprise, motherfuckers! Didn't expect two updates, did you? Neither did I, honestly.
We're moving along with this arc. I hope you enjoyed. I'll have more for you all soon enough.
Also, before I forget. Fandom Flux Podcast on Youtube. I'm on there talking all kinds of shit about the media we all love. Anime, video games, movies, TV... and whatever the hell else catches my fancy.
Oh, and also there are other people on it too, other fanfic authors like Flux Casey, KingofZeroX, Slicerness, and serpentguy. They do stuff too... I guess.
We also do let's play, reviews, and other things. Check it out.
There, Casey. I pimped it again. You're welcome.
Kenchi out.