Klaus POV

Here you go. I packed you a peanut butter and jelly, crusts cut off.'

'Shaped like a triangle?'

'Obviously. Triangles are the best shapes.'

I handed Annie her lunchbox, which was adorned with a brightly smiling monkey wielding a banana in each hand.

I took in a deep breath, crouching down and patting her on the shoulders.

'Are you ready for your first day of preschool, diva cup?'

'Why do I have to go?'

'Because the government will put me in prison if I don't send you.', I said, smiling brightly, and she laughed.

It's honestly surprising that they hadn't already. The preschool she was going to had started in August, and I'd completely forgotten about it until late December. If Allison hadn't pulled the flyer we'd gotten in the mail out from under a couch cushion two days ago, she still wouldn't be going.

'Okay, and what did I tell you a few minutes ago? What's super important?'

'Don't touch anybody!', she said, looking very proud of herself.

'Yes! Good job! But actually, it was 'don't touch anyone with ill intent'. Just so you don't kill any friends, alright?'

'Mhm!'

At that, Allison came into the room, her eyes growing wide as she looked down at Annie.

'Klaus, what on earth is your poor daughter wearing?', she asked, crouching down to Annie and pointing at her shirt.

I'd dressed her in an old t-shirt of mine, an AC/DC shirt. I'd cut it off with scissors, making it short enough for her to wear, sort of like a crop top. Underneath that, she wore a pair of purple leggings, and bright red rain boots on her feet. And to top it all off, a flower crown I made from the flowers on my grass skirt I brought home from Bali. She looked fabulous. I liked the outfit, she liked the outfit, we were vibing. And now Allison came to knit-pick.

'It's called fashion, aunt Ali.', Annie answered her, placing her hands on her hips.

'Yeah, Allison, it's called fashion, look it up.', I said, trying to stifle a laugh.

'Huh. Well. I must've missed the boat this season. I'm utterly out of style, apparently.', Allison said, motioning towards her outfit, making Annie giggle.

She picked Annie up in her arms, looking her in the face.

'C'mon girly, let's go change you into something cute.'

'No!', Annie protested, squirming. 'I like this.'

Allison sighed. 'Alright, if you say so. You guys do need to get going.'

I gave Annie a high five as her feet hit the floor. 'Yes, girl! Confidence.'

'I'm a QuEeN, dad.'

'You're a LEGEND. Let's go.'

'Klaus. This car seat is installed so wrong. This is sooo dangerous.', Allison knit-picked again.

'I tried, Allison!'

We looked at the toddler car seat, which I'd installed myself, facing the seats, and Allison took it out, turning it around the 'right' way. She'd rode in it several times now and it was fine. I didn't see what the big deal was.

'OKAY. I fixed it. Be thankful you didn't get in a car accident while it was still like that.'

Annie hopped in, and Allison strapped her in as I got in the driver's seat of the car, watching the hula dancer on the dash stand still as it was overcast and dreadfully cold. I tapped her by the waist, and she danced a couple of reps, and then stopped.

Allison got in the seat beside me, clicking her seatbelt.

'Alright. Let's go.'

'Drive the car!', Annie screamed, loudly.

'Someone's feeling very assertive this morning!', I said, eyeing her in the mirror.

'Are you ready to go and play with the other kids?', Allison asked her, smiling brightly.

'They can't handle me.', Annie said, sass in her voice.

'Well then.'

'Yes! That's my diva cup! They can't handle her. She's like a stampeding warthog, uncontrollable, fierce, dangerous. Sassy.'

Allison closed her eyes and chuckled a bit.

We drove through town, past roads that had been cleared of snow, piled up on the sidewalks. It wasn't a super long drive to the preschool.

'Where's the preschool again?'

'Three blocks south of Griddy's, then you take a right, then a left.'

'Yeah, pretty close, we're almost there.'

'Can I get out of the car now?', Annie asked, impatiently.

'No, not yet sweetie. But almost. We need some music. You have to make an entrance.', I answered, knowing exactly what song she would pick.

'Oh, yeah, play my song.', she said back.

I clicked the radio, and the car was filled with the sound of our favorite song as we pulled up to the drop off line, getting weird stares from the chaperoning teachers, from other parents passing by, and from the preschoolers themselves.

watch?v=scBn8el6Eoc

We opened the door, and she unbuckled herself, hopping out of her seat and strutting over to her teachers, her footsteps perfectly on beat. And I had a proud father moment, seeing her right then. Allison and I sat and made sure she got in, bobbing our heads to the music, it still blaring out our open windows.

Annie's teacher came speed walking to the window, her face annoyed.

'Um, yes.', she said, poking her head near the opening of the window. 'I'm going to need you to turn that music off or leave, you're causing a disturbance, sir.'

'I'll show you a disturbance!', Annie yelled from behind her, making Allison double over in laughter, rendering me the only one able to talk to this Karen.

The teacher's mouth gaped open and turned to Annie.

'Annie, honey, no sweetie, disturbances are for home only.', I projected my voice at her.

The teacher smiled fakely at me, and I did the same back, tilting my head, us staring at each other through the glorious sound of Nicki Minaj and Dora the Explorer.

'Sir, you need to leave the premises, please.'

'Okay, I'll leave.', I said, with fake kindness. 'Annie, honey?'

'Yeah daddy?'

'Keep this lady occupied today, will ya?'

The teacher's mouth gaped open at me this time, and I drove off.

'I'm leaving the premises!'

And Allison and I drove off, both out of breath with laughter.

'I can't find coconut milk. Why is coconut milk on the list?', Allison asked, both of us standing in the grocery store aisle. Luther usually came to help her get the groceries for the house, but since we were already out, I was helping her today.

'Oh. Annie likes to bathe in it once a week. And also, I drink it, because it helps me when I get constipated.'

There was no response to that, she only turned around and pushed the cart down the aisle, ignoring me.

She grabbed various boxes of cereal, four of Luther's favorite, and that should last him through the week.

'Considering that coconut milk is now a major no-go, we've only got a couple things left on the list. Will you go and get the eggs?'

'That's all the way across the store though!'

'And?', she questioned me, confused.

'What if I like, got kidnapped again? Or if I got lost?'

'You aren't going to get kidnapped inside of Walmart.'

'I really don't want to split up.'

'Fine. Let's go get eggs together then, and waste three extra minutes.'

'Awesome, team work!'

She shook her head.

My phone started to jingle in my pocket, I was getting a phone call. I picked it up.

'Schmello?'

It was the preschool.

'Who is it?', Allison mouthed to me.

'The preschool.', I mouthed back.

'Yes. Excuse me sir, I'm going to need you to come and escort your daughter off the premises, she's done something inexcusable and we would no longer like to offer our services to your family.'

'Oh, wow, I mean, I guess that's fair. I'll be there in a few.'

I hung up the phone.

'Looks like Annie got kicked out of preschool on her first day.'

'What?!"

'Yeah, they just called me, told me to come pick her up immediately.'

Allison looked shocked.

'You don't think she-'

'I hope by all that is holy that she didn't'

Third Person POV

The children were all gathered in a circle, listening to the teacher.

'Okay. Now that we learned about circles, we get to have play time!'

All the little preschoolers cheered, and Annie had a smirk on her face, planning what she was going to do. And all of them hopped up, congregating in little groups together, digging out buckets of blocks and plastic animals, the room becoming louder by the minute.

But Annie. Oh, Annie. She wasn't concerned with toys, or pretend, or playing dolls with the other girls. She had her sights set across the room. In a cage, sitting on top of a cabinet drawer, was the class pet. A guinea pig named Mr. Shrek.

She looked at her teacher, who was now at her desk tapping on a laptop. She wasn't watching. So Annie pulled up a chair to reach, opened the cage, and took the brown fluffy rodent in her hands, the poor thing hanging on for dear life.

'Guys, look what I can do!', Annie said, bringing the animal to a congregated circle of children playing with blocks. She plopped the animal down on the ground.

'Mr. Shrek!', one kid squealed, sending the other kids into a joyous uproar.

The teacher caught wind of this situation, and started to get up from her seat to stop whatever mischief this was.

'Watch!', Annie said, placing her left palm on the animal, grinning down at it while the other kids watched in awe.

And Mr. Shrek let out a great shriek, and fell over dead, his body becoming stiff. The teacher ran over to the situation as the children started screaming, one started crying, and Annie laid in the floor knocked out and as peaceful as a statue.

Klaus POV

'Would you care to explain how and why your daughter killed our class guinea pig?'

Allison, Annie, and I sat in the teacher's office, in three chairs in front of her desk.

'She's a strong little girl.', I said, shrugging.

The teacher folded her hands.

'You don't have a better explanation than that?'

Allison cleared her throat, and began to speak.

'Ma'am, I'm quite certain it was only an accident. Annie, did you mean to kill Mr. Shrek?'

Annie looked up at her. 'Um. I think so.'

'See? It was a malicious act. On purpose.', the teacher said, now tapping her pen against the table.

'Can we not negotiate some terms? Does she really have to be kicked out?

'I'm afraid we can no longer provide our services for you. This was deliberate destruction of property. I'm going to have to ask all three of you to leave campus.'

Allison looked mad. She opened her mouth, and then stopped.

'Allison, no.', I said. She wouldn't do it, would she?

'I heard a rumor.'

'Excuse me?

'I heard a rumor, that you forgot about this whole situation.'

The teacher's eyes went white, and after a moment, her demeanor became amiable and she smiled at us.

'So, what are we meeting today for?', she asked, smiling at us.

'Oh, you invited us here to discuss how good Annie's behavior has been lately!', I said quickly, thinking fast. I smiled at the teacher, and she smiled back, then I looked over at Allison. She looked guilty, but pleased.

'I'm hungry.', Annie exclaimed, tapping her red booted feet on the carpet.

'Well, since you've been so good, why don't you just have your dad take you out to eat somewhere? I'll let you out early. It'll be our little secret.', she said to Annie, taking on a whole different mood than she had thirty seconds ago.

'Wow, you got nicer.', Annie said confidently.

'Annie!'

'Alright diva cup, let's get outta' here and get you some food.', I said, hopping up and grabbing her hand.

'Sir, sorry if this is nosey, but did you really nickname your daughter after a menstrual cup?'

We were already turned out into the hall, but I popped my head back into the office.

'Yes. Yes I did.'

And I swung back down the hall, grabbing Annie's hand, Allison grabbing the other as we walked.

'Can we go to McDonald's?'

'You better bet your butter buns we can, chickabiddy.'