A/N: Good morning to you all! (At least, it's morning in my country) I here have a chapter for you that I initially contained so much more, but I think it would've been a chapter of 10,000 words at the end and since my chapters are usually between 3,000-6,000 words, I thought I should divide it into two chapters. So here it is, the first 'Ba Sing Se' chapter; the beginning of the end, as I like to call it. From here on, it's going to be such an emotional ride. For me as well. I'm still having a hard time writing some days since I got a new job and all and I usually have these inspirational bursts when I'm at work and clearly can't write. Lastly, I'd like to thank SenSen-Chan for once again leaving a review that gives me so much motivation to pick up my laptop and type away the words that are stuck in my head. Enjoy this chapter loves and please review me so I can know your thoughts!
Chapter 20 – Ba Sing Se: The Ferry
It was a beautiful morning. The sun shone and birds were chirping happily, filling the world with sounds that could set anyone's mind with ease. A gentle breeze flew in the air, cooling down the skins of the three people that were travelling towards the capital of the Earth Kingdom, Ba Sing Se. The trees were brightly coloured and the woman walking in front of the ostrich horse trailing behind her was smiling appreciatively at the sight in front of her. They were almost there.
A scarred man and his uncle were sitting on top of the said ostrich horse, one scowling as usual and the other one wearing an all-knowing, secretive look in his eyes, also, as usual. The wise man watched the woman in front of them for a while, thinking back to the situation that had played out a week ago. It was rather peculiar.
Iroh had exited the backroom with important news on his lips, ready to inform his two companions. Both had been sitting on opposite sides of the room, having dosed off. After he shared what he had been told, they fled the Misty Palms Oasis after learning that the two thugs that were after them for gold were right behind them on their trail. And when eventually they were on the road again, it became clear to the retired General that something had happened during the alone time Zuko and Milah had in the flower shop.
They hadn't talked at all the past week. Zuko was beyond frustrated, a headache constantly present and not being able to look for more than a second to the woman in front of him. His mind was driving him absolutely crazy. All he could think about was why the hell had they stopped. What went wrong that made Milah hesitate and back down. He understood that things had heated up pretty significantly in the flower shop and that she probably needed to cool down. But she hadn't even looked at him. Not once. Instead of talking about her feelings, she had closed off again. And he didn't understand why – which wasn't a strange thing considering Zuko didn't actually understand women at all, but still, she could have tried to explain why she was acting the way she had been. But she didn't, so the frustration would continue.
Milah tried not to think about the event that happened last week. She tried to ignore the heartache that she got whenever she looked upon him. It had become clear to her that Zuko only saw her as someone that could solely satisfy his needs. After she had put on her clothes again, she had moved over to the other side of the room and ignored the man that had been looking at her with questioning eyes. She knew she had been giving mixed signals, but she had to protect herself. She could only let her heart be broken for a limited amount of time before it would become irreparable.
A range of mountains loomed in front of them. Iroh had insisted that a maze of caves was residing inside of them and that if they could find the right path – which could be done if only they knew where to look which, thankfully, Iroh did – they would find their way to a secret refugee camp where people could take a ferry to Ba Sing Se. And because they were still on the run from Zuko's evil sister, they were going to lay low in the capital for a while.
''Such a nice day,'' Iroh said mostly to himself, but also to break the silence that had been going on for almost the whole day.
''Yeah, it really is,'' Milah answered him, looking up at the sky for a moment to savour the sunshine. She could only hope that tonight would be as warm as the other nights from the past week. Luckily for her, the nights were warm enough for her to sleep on her own, without feeling the need to lay in Zuko's arms to get warm. However, she did want to lay in his arms just to soothe her aching heart. But she knew that if she did so, her heart would ultimately hurt more. So she refrained.
Upon hearing Milah's voice, Zuko startled. It was the first time she spoke today. Sometimes he wondered why she even stayed with them when she could be searching for her family. His uncle had been healed and he was no longer particularly looking for the Avatar now that Azula was on his heels to catch him. Or kill him. He didn't really care.
The need to catch the Avatar was still high, yes, but it had been decreasing ever since he met the woman who held his heart. He still wanted to please his father and return home, but not without her. Not without the little Waterbender with her captivating blue eyes. Eyes that hunted his day- and nightdreams. And when they weren't looking for the Avatar, she didn't have any chance of reuniting with her siblings on the way. But now, it became clear to him that despite his initial thoughts of her staying with him had anything to do with that, it now became clear that maybe she actually did want to stay with him. Hope blossomed in his heart for a moment.
Iroh eventually offered to walk, saying he wanted to get some exercise to ease the ache in his lower back and also so he could manoeuvre them through the maze of caves himself. He didn't trust either of them to accomplish that feat successfully.
Zuko made sure that Milah took place behind him on the horse. He knew what would happen when she would sit in front of him and took measures to prevent that moment from happening. He still found his skin burning where he could feel her breasts brushing against his back every once in a while, her hands touching his lower back from where she held them clasped in her lap. A shudder went through him.
When they finally entered the little port that had been made inside the giant cave, Milah reluctantly dismounted the ostrich horse. This is where they would have to part their ways with the beast, a feeling of sadness suddenly washing over her. She had known for days that it was inevitable, but she hadn't thought that it would fall so hard upon her. The horse had been a loyal companion of the party for months and it would be missed dearly. Milah had refrained from naming it as well, knowing that it would be so much harder to say goodbye if she had done that. And with their way of life, the time of goodbye was certainly inevitable.
She stroked the beast one last time before handing it over to one of the traders there. Zuko took the money that the man offered them for the beast and together, all three of them walked away. Milah wrapped her arms around herself, a chill going through her body by the sight of all the refugees that were desperately seeking shelter in the capital. Running from the danger of the Fire Nation. It suddenly dawned upon herself that she was travelling with the Crown Prince and his uncle and prayed that none of the people here knew what they looked like. Although Iroh had been pretty certain about coming here and assured them that no one in the capital knew what they looked like. How that came to be, she didn't know.
''All line up here for the ferry ride to Ba Sing Se!'' someone shouted, pointing towards several rows that led up to a desk where the general ticket and passport checks were held.
''I hope you know what you're doing, uncle,'' Zuko mumbled and walked to one of the queues. Milah gave Iroh a look that said it all while he just shrugged. He had been in a foul mood all week, so his behaviour wasn't surprising her, although somewhat disappointing.
While they waited for their turn, she got a good look around her. All sorts of people walked around her, from elderly to children, from families to loners and from traders to travellers. It made her sad to see so many children clinging to their mom's legs or being held in their father's arms, comforted by soothing words and gentle shushing.
Zuko saw the sad look in Milah's eyes and followed her gaze to a little family of four. A young mother – he guessed her around the age of 25 – was soothing her daughter, her pregnant belly making it difficult for her to crouch down. The father was grasping his son's shoulders, eyeing the crowd around him warily. He couldn't blame the man.
The sight of the family caused him to move closer to Milah, his fingers finding their way to her forearm before gliding down and settling upon grasping her hand. The Waterbender didn't even seem to notice, only holding onto him tighter when the little girl gave out one final cry before her father stepped in and swooped her up, cradling her in his arms.
Milah tore her gaze away and moved to stare at her feet, not letting go of the hand that was being her only lifeline at the moment. A warm feeling spread through her heart.
''Next, please!'' a deep, masculine voice suddenly announced, making Milah tear away her hand at last. They moved to the front of the line and behind the desk sat a young man, around Zuko's age, with a handsome face and a friendly smile.
When Zuko saw the man eyeing Milah up and down, an appreciative look appearing in his green eyes, he felt hot anger spark from his insides. His hand suddenly felt cold and lonely without Milah's touch, so when she surprisingly let him take her hand once more he almost let out a relieved sigh.
Milah gave the man before her a kind smile in return. He seemed nice, although judging by the familiar hand that was grasping hers desperately, she could tell that Zuko didn't particularly think so. The smile slowly turned into a little smirk, thinking she could get some fun out of this.
She let go of his hand, stepping forward to the man that still kept up his kind smile. ''Good day, Bohai.'' She read the name tag on his uniform.
''To you as well, kind lady,'' he replied, giving her a little wink. ''How can I help you?''
Next to her, Zuko started to fume.
''We have tickets for the ferry ride to Ba Sing Se.''
''We already bought them,'' Iroh added, fishing the pieces of paper on the table. Bohai took them and read them over carefully.
''Well, this seems to be looking good. Did you bring your passports?'' He ignored Zuko.
Milah had to do her best to break the tight grip on her hand, afraid that he might break her fingers but succeeded eventually. Meanwhile, Iroh grabbed their fake identifications and gave them to Bohai.
''Ah, I see,'' he started and gave them all a good look. ''It's nice to meet you, Kya.''
Milah tried her best to keep a straight face when he said that and Iroh cleared his throat inconspicuously. Zuko had become a tomato.
''And you as well, of course, Lee and… Mushi,'' he added with a tiny blush, embarrassed that he forgot the other two. Milah had to bite back a laugh.
''I hope to see you soon in Ba Sing Se,'' Milah told him as a goodbye, Iroh agreeing with her out loud.
''Maybe we will,'' he said, giving her one last wink. She waved at him for the last time before walking after an angry-looking Zuko. His eyes had gone from their usual burning embers to a complete raging fire, making her wonder where exactly the anger had come from. She guessed it had to do with her shameless flirting with Bohai, but still. It made her wonder about dangerous thoughts and hopes in her head.
''He seemed nice,'' Iroh started once they had settled themselves on a sheltered place on deck, should it begin raining. ''Maybe he can show you around Ba Sing Se sometime.''
Milah smiled at him. ''Maybe.''
''If all people are as nice as him, then I think we'll be alright,'' Iroh added, amused by Zuko's face that became redder with every word that his uncle spoke.
''He was extremely nice, wasn't he-''
''I think we all get it now,'' Zuko almost but shouted at the two, standing up harshly. ''He was nice, handsome, funny and a great guy. No need to rub that in anyone's face!'' And with that, he walked off.
Iroh and Milah took one look at each other before bursting into an amount of silent laughter.
Later that day, after Zuko had somewhat cooled off and returned to the two long before that, the ferry had gone off, leaving behind the cave and finally setting course for a new part of their lives. Someone had given out food that looked like it could give you food poisoning, but seeing as this was the only option of getting some nourishment, it would have to do.
Together, they stood by the railing of the ferry, gazing over the massive lake. Milah sniffed the bowl of the brown looking substance with little bits floating in it and almost vomited right then and there.
''I'm not usually picky,'' she said to the two men looking at her funnily. ''But this is where I draw the line. I'm not eating this.'' Iroh let out a burst of laughter.
''It's not that bad,'' he commented and put his finished bowl on the ground. A moment of silence ensued, Iroh looking like he was deep in his thoughts.
''What's on your mind?'' Milah asked him after realising Zuko wasn't going to show any interest in his uncle's wellbeing.
''Who would have thought after all these years, I'd return to the scene of my greatest military disgrace…'' he wandered off, before continuing, ''as a tourist!'' And with that, he somehow, miraculously, grabbed a floral hat out of thin air and put it on his head. A big smile covered his face.
Zuko huffed. ''Look around. We're not tourists, we're refugees,'' he said with much chagrin. He had been like that ever since they boarded and when he took a sip of his food, at last, it only worsened; he spat it out in the lake. ''Ugh! I'm sick of eating rotten food, sleeping in the dirt. I'm tired of living like this!''
Milah looked away from him for a moment. It hurt her heart whenever he would act like this. She would be reminded of their time on the ship – even more so when they were now actually on a ship – and his hostility towards her at times. It wasn't like she had already been in love with him then, although she had been feeling something for him surprisingly early then.
Zuko noticed how Milah cast his eyes down, a feeling of regret washing over him, but before he could do something to show his sorry, an unknown voice intruded on their moment.
''Aren't we all?'' a boy slightly younger than themselves stepped forward with two even younger companions. ''My name's Jet and these are my Freedom Fighters, Smellerbee and Longshot.'' Jet pointed to his friends.
''Hey,'' Smellerbee greeted them while Longshot gave them a nod in acknowledgement.
''Hello,'' Zuko addressed them and turned back to the railing. Iroh and Milah gave each other a look before settling upon the two boys and girl, – although one looked like a boy – not knowing what to do with the situation. They couldn't fight their way out of this, not when they needed to get within the safety of the city.
When Jet eyed Iroh and Milah back, a look of surprise took over on his face upon seeing her, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he continued where he left off with the conversation. ''Here's the deal. I hear the captain's eating like a king while the refugees have to feed off his scraps. Doesn't seem fair, does it?''
''What sort of king is he eating like?'' Iroh asked him, a hungry look evident in his eyes.
''The fat, happy kind,'' Jet told him and Iroh started to drool. Who could blame him? They hadn't had a proper meal in weeks now. ''You want to help us "liberate" some food?''
Zuko seemed to consider for a moment but eventually agreed. ''I'm in.'' And with that, he tossed his bowl in the lake, turning around to face the freedom fighters once more.
Jet merely smirked and gestured for him to follow them and without giving Milah as much as a look, he left.
After he was gone, the Waterbender gave out a sigh, putting her hands in her face. Although she didn't approve of him stealing, she knew how the world worked. It wasn't like the captain wouldn't get a new lavish meal tomorrow or that he cared enough about their wellbeing to ensure that they at least had something edible to digest.
That evening, Zuko returned to them only to retrieve his dual broadswords from his bag. Iroh and Milah had spent the whole day pondering about what they would do once they got into the city and they had only just now engaged in a long-overdue conversation, according to the old man.
''May I ask you something?'' Iroh suddenly asked her after they had sat in a moment of silence.
''Of course,'' she answered, startled.
''But before I ask you, you must promise me to answer with honesty.''
Milah only replied with a nod, her curiosity awakened together with a hint of fear.
''What happened between you two in the Misty Palms Oasis?''
She knew this was coming but still she wasn't prepared for it. Her hands became clammy, heartache suddenly forming in her chest. ''I, uh, we…'' she started, but strayed off. Iroh nudged her to continue and it was only because of the understanding in his wise eyes that she dared to continue.
''Zuko sort of… kissed me,'' she whispered to him, averting her face to gaze to the people around her, assuring herself no one heard her.
''Ah,'' Iroh began, ''I thought something like that had happened. But seeing the foul mood you both have been in the past week, I reckon it ended badly?''
''Yeah, it did. Do you remember the night he left us? I took up on your advice and told him I loved him. He said he didn't love me back. It didn't seem wise for me to act up on my feelings in that flower shop because I knew that he-'' she almost choked up, ''he doesn't love me.''
Iroh took pity on the girl. In his eyes, it couldn't be more obvious that Zuko definitely loved her. But if she told him her true feelings, then why would he deny them to her?
''Milah, I'm sorry that he has treated you this way,'' he started, but Milah shook her head to disagree. ''But I can assure you, if maybe you could find the courage to tell him your feelings once more, he will tell you he lo-'' but he cut himself off just as he saw that the man in question was making his way towards them.
''He what, Iroh?'' she urged him on, but now saw the reason why the old man had stopped talking. A determined look was in his eyes.
''Tonight, we'll eat like kings,'' he merely told him before making a move to disappear again. But worry had been gnawing at Milah's insides all day and before she knew it, she had stood up and taken his hand in one of her own.
''Be careful,'' she simply told him. Zuko got lost in her eyes for a moment, savouring the feeling of her cold, soft skin against his, before giving her a nod, suppressing the need to kiss her plump and inviting lips, and walking off to a waiting Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot.
The wait was long and Milah could do nothing except for staring at the stars and the first quarter of the moon. Iroh had decided to give her some space, having taken it upon himself to make a little chat with a family that had taken up residence next to them. Milah didn't join him, appreciating him for leaving her alone for a while. She had to sort out her thoughts, preferably before they would arrive in Ba Sing Se. Because once she was there, what would happen? Would she stay there until Zuko decided he would go up and running again? Would she create a life for herself there? Would she ever see her family again?
Her train of questions was broken off suddenly by a looming presence at her side who she identified as Zuko.
''Zuko,'' she whispered and couldn't help but give him a tight hug, relieved that everything seemed to have gone right. His scent and the feel of his familiar body calmed her like nothing else did these days.
''It went well,'' he answered her unspoken question, dropping the stuff he had been holding and returning her hug. He refrained from dropping a kiss on the crown of her head, breathing in her rose and jasmine essence instead.
''Lee,'' Jet called him out then, waving him over. The two of them let go of each other rather quickly, a blush covering Milah's face. Gold met with blue one last time before he walked off, giving out food to everyone.
When all of them sat in a circle, the stolen food in front of them, Zuko had taken it upon himself to place his pillow next to Milah's. Jet had been looking funnily at her all evening and he didn't know what to make of it.
''So, Smellerbee, that's an unusual name for a young man,'' Iroh started and Milah made it quick work to give him a small nudge with her arm, shaking her head slightly at him.
''Maybe it's because I'm not a man… I'm a girl!'' she told him harshly, standing up doing so. Iroh looked panicked.
''Oh, now I see. It's a beautiful name for a lovely girl!'' he tried to make it up to her, but it was in vain. She had walked off in anger. Iroh turned towards Milah then, rubbing his ankle while shrugging.
''From what I heard, people eat like this every night in Ba Sing Se. I can't wait to set my eyes on that giant wall,'' Jet suddenly announced and sat down at their little circle, starting a conversation with Iroh. Milah wasn't listening, concentrating on eating the delicious noodles instead.
After a few moments and a sip of her jasmine tea later, she noticed the group staring at her. Smellerbee and Longshot had returned to their seats as well without her noticing.
''Kya?'' Zuko asked her, his brow raising on his forehead. It was strange hearing her mother's name coming from his mouth.
''Huh?'' she said stupidly, glancing between everyone. ''I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention.''
Jet simply raised the corners of his mouth. Whether it was a friendly smile or something else, she didn't know. ''I asked you if we've met before. You somehow look… familiar.''
''Uh…'' she started, giving Zuko a questioning look as if to ask what to do. ''Can't say that I've seen you before, no. Sorry.''
''Strange,'' he simply answered, still giving her the look he had had all day.
''Why do you think I look familiar?'' It came out before she knew it and regretted it instantly. If there was anything that they should avoid, it was the questions about their background story of all things.
''I don't know,'' he replied honestly. ''Never mind.'' Jet didn't need anyone prying in his past either. Not if he wanted to have a new life in Ba Sing Se with his friends. Besides, he didn't particularly care about any relative of Sokka and Katara, so who was he to ask questions that he didn't need the answer to?
Later that evening, the freedom fighters had left the party of three for their own sleeping places. Luckily, they had been able to purchase two pairs of sleeping bags for the amount of money that they had gotten for their ostrich horse.
''Here, uncle,'' Zuko gave one to Iroh who was gazing out over the lake, stroking his beard in thought.
''Thank you and goodnight,'' he bid to the two of them, leaving for a moment to give them some space. This should be interesting, he thought, two people who are secretly in love with each other and only one sleeping bag… An all-knowing smile appeared on his lips.
''Here,'' Zuko said to the woman next to him. Her blue eyes shone in the moonlight like the lake had done that day. He handed her the second sleeping bag, knowing she needed it more than he did, especially with the blowing wind all around them.
''Thanks,'' she whispered, taking it from him. He laid down afterwards, turning his back to her and looking uncomfortable enough that the guilt that had already appeared in her chest grew even more. ''You know, we can share it. It's not like we haven't before.''
Zuko let out a little puff of laughter with her words, so delicate coming from her mouth yet stirring his mind into forbidden thoughts and feelings. ''It's okay, Milah, I'll manage. You should get some sleep.''
Milah couldn't help but feel slightly hurt upon his refusal. Didn't he want to share the bedroll? Why not? They used to sleep together all the time. What had changed in his mind?
It was the kiss, her subconscious whispered devilishly, it reminded him of why he didn't want to kiss you the last time you came onto him. Of the night where you expressed your feelings and he turned you down.
Unwanted memories and hurt came rushing back in an instant, causing a shiver to cast down her back despite her having crawled inside the sleeping bag. ''Stop it,'' she whispered quietly to herself, shutting her eyes to try and prevent the film from playing in her head once more. But no matter how much she tried to close her eyes and get to sleep, it wouldn't grab her.
Suddenly, after a while, she felt something tugging slightly at her hair. It felt like someone was slowly trading their fingers through it, tingling her spine. The movement was done over and over again and after a while, her curiosity became too big. She already thought it was Zuko, but she wanted to see his reaction upon her not being asleep, as he clearly thought she was.
Zuko had not been able to sleep. It was too hard for him, knowing that Milah had offered him to sleep with her in the bedroll. It had taken all of him to decline the offer; he wanted nothing more than to climb into the bag with her and tug her firmly against him, to feel the familiarity of her body against his, all of her curves pressed up against-
He quickly stopped where his thoughts were leading him. The agony of seeing the woman he loved every day all day but not being able to show her how deep his love actually went had been a struggle for months on end. It was only in little moments like this, where he thought she was asleep or not paying attention to his actions, that he dared to make a small move to soothe his own heartache. He had turned around to face her and his fingers had moved on their own accord, desperately needing to feel the softness of her hair on his skin. He loved her hair just as much as he loved her blue eyes.
After some minutes, he could feel himself finally drifting off, relaxed under the faint smell of her being. But before sleep took him, the woman in question turned around, wide awake. He quickly retracted his hand, tucking it under his head as if nothing happened. But he could see in her face she had felt what he was doing.
A moment passed between the two of them. And another. And another, until Milah softly reached her hand towards his face, cupping the scarred side of his face that was facing the sky. His eyes closed upon feeling the gentleness of her touch, imprinting the moment into his heart forever.
Tell her! his heart screamed at his mind. Tell her you idiot! But his mind didn't listen, stubborn as always. He feared rejection and the idea of losing her once he expressed his true feelings towards her. He didn't trust his own senses enough to convince himself that she was clearly in love with him too, no matter the words she had spoken to him.
''Zuko,'' she whispered out of the blue, breaking him from his trance. Her eyes shone with hope. ''Come. Please.'' When he felt her pulling her hand from his face, he cupped her hand with his own, setting it with her own.
Finally, he moved towards her. He had let go of her hand until he thought it had finally left a mark on his deformed face. She held open the bedroll for him, making it easy for him to slip in next to her. It was small, made to hold only one person, but they managed. Their legs entangled with each other and their noses almost touched.
Zuko already had his eyes closed, his hand resting firmly on her back and the other serving as a pillow for her to lay on. She studied his face for a while, reading the curve of his lips and touching his soft hair. Her fingers moved from his hair to his crumpled ear, and on to his burned eye, the tip of his nose and finally resting on his bottom lip. Her heart stuttered and almost stood still when she could feel him holding his breath for a moment. And before she knew it or thought things through, she had leaned in and pressed a small and soft kiss to his lips. His hand tightened on her back, keeping her in place while she remained there for a second, her fingers once more resting on his scar.
Zuko was stunned for a second, not believing that Milah had started kissing him on her own. He had been the one to make the move before, she had never engaged. But now that she kissed him, he was rendered immobile. And before he knew it, she had already pulled away, her breath coming out in short puffs. A smile took over his face, happiness filling his core for the first time in forever.
''Goodnight, Zuko,'' she whispered finally, tucking her head under his chin.
''Goodnight, Milah,'' he whispered back, giving her one last kiss on the top of her head before falling into a deep sleep.
His smile never left his face.