"Lord Black." Thoros intoned sizing up the man in front of him. Infuriatingly he smirked.

"Lord Nott, I'd say it was a pleasure but I'm not sure it will be."

"For fucks sake," Severus muttered. "Can you both behave?"

"We could but where's the fun?" Sirius grinned at him.

"She will not be pleased."

"Who, Kitten?"

"Kitten?" Thoros spluttered, "Tell me you do not call my daughter Kitten?"

"My daughter too." Sirius' face was momentarily serious. "I understand you'd never have given her up if you'd had a choice but what you need to understand is that I'm not going anywhere. That little witch saved my life, she's kept my godson safe for years and she is currently more mine than yours."

"She's not your daughter yet!" Thoros growled.

"Oh but she is. We completed the ritual before we came here. The paperwork is filed, she's all legal and official." Sirius taunted.

"What?" The colour drained out of Thoros' face so quickly that even Sirius felt sorry for him.

"Look, we needed to make sure she was protected from all angles, so the moment she agreed we ran with it. Severus completed the godparent ritual too. She's as well protected as we can make her for just now. I understand we'll need a story for Dumbledore and Voldemort, which I suggest we discuss now so we're all on the same page. As long as you aren't a danger to her I have no intention of stopping her from having a relationship with you." he gave a short bark of laughter, "I couldn't even if wanted to if she decided otherwise, stubborn little witch that she is."

"You know her well?"

"As I said, she saved my life. We've kept in touch since, she spent the summer and Christmas in my home, so yes, I'd say I know her pretty well."

Thoros blew out a breath. "I see. I...I do not like this. I wanted to meet you before the ritual. She is my daughter."

"And currently that puts her in an inordinate amount of danger. Let us not forget that the only reason you realised there was a possibility that she was yours was because you were fighting fucking children at the Ministry."

"Not by choice," Thoros said softly. Sirius arched an eyebrow questioningly in response making Thoros sigh, raking a hand down his face. "When the Dark Lord first began recruiting he promised political power, a return to traditions that are slowly being eroded as more and more muggleborns impose their own culture on ours. In Hogwarts, as you are aware, there is a muggle studies course, but there is no wizarding equivalent. I think there should be. He promised that he would campaign to keep us safe from muggles, he told stories of his own time within a muggle orphanage. It was…brutal and played on the barbarity of people we had had no contact with and given their numbers, every reason to fear."

"And that's changed how?"

"When the Dark Lord began torturing indiscriminately a lot of us began to question his methods. When he brought in muggles, they weren't the monsters he had described, they were frightened and confused. None of it made sense, it wasn't furthering our cause, it was mindless violence for the sake of it. Then he began openly torturing us, murdering entire magical families like the McKinnons and that made even less sense. Of course, the real turning point was when he began hunting a baby. He was not, is not, sane. He is ruthless, he has no conscience and there is no logic to his methods. That night at the Ministry, if I had refused him, he'd have killed me outright or he'd have tortured me until I begged for death. Either way, I have a son, I dread what will happen to him should I refuse to comply with orders. Regardless of my own feelings, I need Theo to be safe. Before the end of the first war, Severus approached Dumbledore, pleading my case. Pleading Lucius' case. He was refused. We were left with nowhere to go. There are some who agree with the way the Dark Lord is handling things, those like your dear, demented cousin and her husband, who have a taste for torture. But those of us who are not so sadistically inclined, are just trying to survive."

Sirius sat in silence for several beats before turning to Severus. "Albus really wouldn't consider helping them?"

"No. I asked again when he came back last year. His stance was the same. He had no need for more spies and he was not willing to entertain the idea of trusting them. However, I spoke with Minerva recently, she is going to see what she can do."

"Is she?" Thoros asked in surprise.

"Yes. I have no idea what she intends to do but she believes, and I agree, that weakening his army from the inside is worth trying. I imagine the precautions will be ironclad but it will be worth it if it works."

Thoros hummed, his face showing his relief. "That's…that's good."

"Indeed. While we are here, I should probably inform you of the happenings of the last day or so." Severus grimaced, the guilty feeling resurfacing as he realised just how much Thoros didn't know.

"Oh?"

"The Lestranges, Corban and Antonin were responsible for the binding of Hermione's magic. They added in two additional curses, one of which nearly killed her this morning. She is fine!" he interjected quickly at Thoros' sound of distress, "Saul caught it quickly. She was up and on the sofa when we left."

"But Miranda was meant to be her godmother! Why would he…."

"We don't know. Saul suggested we check the Hall of Prophecy."

Thoros winced, remembering vividly the last time he was there. "Fucking wonderful," he muttered.

"I'll take her over the summer." Severus offered. "We should know what we're dealing with as soon as possible. I can do it under the guise of discussing that Unspeakable apprenticeship Saul was asking for."

Both Thoros and Sirius nodded, before Sirius spoke, his face unusually serious, "Fine. Now, what's the plan? Let's start with Dumbledore."

"I have no idea." Severus sighed, "He's hardly stupid and we all know that people tend to go along with what he decides."

"Yes, but when it comes to Harry and Hermione I won't be. He can make all the decisions he likes, they're not of age so the final say is mine."

Thoros hummed, burying his instinctive snarl as the other man yet again laid claim to his daughter, "Still, he'll need to be told something."

"I propose a version of the truth." Sirius mused, "We tell him that you recognised her at the Ministry and Severus did some digging which brought Theo into the fold. We mention that Theo wants to get to know her and she him. We add in that I adopted her, as I had been considering since I met the witch, for her protection and that she is now a Black. We do not need to mention that she intends to meet you and I'd advise not mentioning Draco if that plan of action is decided on, Let him think it was a natural occurrence given that Draco is Theo's friend."

"She intends to meet me?" Thoros asked, his brain tuning everything else out.

"I don't honestly know." Sirius admitted, "However I'm going to advise her to consider it at least once."

"Why?"

"Because if she doesn't she'll always wonder. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what to think of you, despite your pretty words about not supporting the cause, you are still a Death Eater. Whether you want to admit it or not, you are a danger to that little witch and I don't like it. However, she is technically yours and I believe your regret at not having her in your life is genuine. More than that though, she cannot abide not knowing, it'll drive her insane if she always has to wonder what you're like. This is war, nothing is guaranteed, I would hate for her to not take the chance while she has it."

Thoros sobered at the thought of dying without getting to know his daughter while accepting that Sirius was right. Nothing was guaranteed, especially with a Dark Lord fluctuating in and out of sanity and constantly changing the rules. "I see," he murmured. "What about the Dark Lord?"

"I suggest you tell him sooner rather than later," Severus admitted. "Perhaps I shall come with you. I need to tell him I am now her godfather, I cannot imagine he will be pleased. I am hoping that we can convince him that I'm persuading her to trust me. Her acceptance of Theo will work in her favour, if we can secure a date for her meeting with Thoros sooner rather than later, I believe that will also help. If we get Lucius onside to broach the idea of Draco pursuing her, then perhaps he will go for it. If nothing else I imagine I can convince him that her trusting me will mean I have more information about Potter. He is aware that Albus is selective in what he tells me but we both know he will underestimate a mere girl and assume she'll slip up or think things are inconsequential and therefore share them."

"A lot of that is nothing more than hope and ifs," Sirius mused.

"That's all we've got. No two days are the same. He is rarely sane."

"Wonderful." he muttered, "What are we doing if he doesn't buy it?"

"I have no idea," Severus admitted. "Thoros could not be seen to be meeting her, and neither could Theo. I would be allowed at school while teaching but nothing more than that. He would seek to eliminate her as soon as possible."

Sirius paled, "Let's hope he goes for it then."

"Indeed. We will need to speak with both Hermione and Draco soon ," he admitted. "If we withhold this much longer he is less likely to react well."

"Tonight then? I want to be there." Sirius asked.

"Yes. Tonight. I suggest bringing Lucius too."

"Family reunion." Sirius quipped. "Delightful. It's been years since I've seen darling Lucy."

"This is going to be a fucking disaster," Severus muttered. "Perhaps I'll wait to invite Lucius until after we're spoken to the children.

His rooms were suspiciously quiet when he returned. Theo and Hermione were huddled together on his sofa, talking quietly. No one else was left.

"Potter and Weasley are gone?" he queried.

"Oh. Yes. I'm still rather tired. It's not like they won't be back tomorrow. In fact, I was wondering if a few people could come. Theo was going to bring a couple too, we thought it might be quite nice to meet each other's friends."

Severus was immediately suspicious. Her expression was guileless but Theo was determinedly not looking at him. "Is that so? And who exactly were you considering?"

"Oh, I don't know exactly, the Weasleys, Neville. Theo, you mentioned Malfoy and Parkinson, didn't you? Who else was it?"

"Y-yes." he stuttered, "Draco and Pansy and maybe Daphne and Blaise."

Severus frowned, not detecting a lie exactly, but he was definitely missing something. "Very well. When? I have no urge to witness such a meeting. I will hold you both personally responsible if it results in bloodshed."

"Thanks, Uncle Severus." she smiled. Fucking hell he really was missing something.

"Along those lines, Kitten," Sirius cut in, "We thought it might be time to speak with my delightful cousin now."

"Oh. Why?"

"The longer we delay speaking with the Dark Lord the worse it will be," Severus admitted. She blanched. "Right," she muttered. "Chat with Malfoy tonight then."

"I'll go and get him." Severus' eyes raked over her face, "We do not have to do this, my girl."

"I still think it's insane." she admitted, "Malfoy is not that good of an actor but I guess we need to at least discuss it. I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me though."

"Very well. I shall be back momentarily."

Hermione waited until the door shut behind him. "Any chance you could come up with a reason to keep him busy tomorrow?"

Sirius froze, looking at her shrewdly." And why would I do that, Kitten?"

"Because not only do you love me, it's Gryffindors end of year party. He won't let me leave here so we relocated."

Sirius choked before he let out a barking laugh. "Good Gods Kitten, are you insane?"

"Perhaps." she allowed, "I'm not missing it though and if I snuck out we both know he'd find me and there would never be another party again! If it's here we can pretend it's a one-off if we're caught."

"I'll see what I can do, Kitten," he promised, looking amused. "Life with you is never going to be dull, is it? Poor old Snape isn't going to know what to do with you."

Hermione snorted, "You're the second person to say something along those lines to me today, Pads. I'm beginning to take offence."

"Nonsense!" he scoffed, "Who wants to be boring?"

"Draco. A word." Draco's head snapped up at the sound of Severus' voice, confusion mingled with fear flitting across it before his mask came down.

"Of course, Sir."

"This way, Draco. We do not wish to be disturbed."

He nodded, following his professor out of the portrait hole.

"Professor Snape….where are we going?"

"My office," Severus replied shortly, mindful of portraits that might be listening. He led Draco into his office before taking him through the door that led to his private quarters.

"Theo! What the hell is going on?" Draco exclaimed, his eyes scanning the room.

"Sit down, Draco."

"Hello, Cousin. I don't believe we've been formally introduced." Draco startled as his eyes settled on the amused face of Sirius Black.

"Cousin." he greeted, tilting his head.

"May I present my daughter, Hermione Black," Sirius asked with a smirk and an arched brow.

"Miss Black." Draco sighed, wondering what the fuck he had just walked into.

"Malfoy."

"Kitten. Play nice." Sirius chided.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "How delightful to see you again, Mr Malfoy," she replied with exaggerated politeness.

"For fucks sake," Severus muttered. "You promised to behave, my girl."

"My wand is on the table, I am behaving, Uncle Severus." He glowered at her in response.

"You know very well what you are doing, now behave."

"Yes, Uncle Severus." she sighed, slumping into Theo who squeezed her hand in commiseration, feeling her unease, despite her bravado.

"I never realised you were such a brat, Granger," Malfoy smirked as Theo winced.

"That's a bit rich coming from you, Malfoy." she replied pointedly before mimicking his snootiest tone, "My Father will hear about this. Going to tell him I was mean to you?"

"For the love of….ENOUGH!" Severus roared, his patience already frayed. "Might I remind you that you agreed to this discussion, my girl?"

"It's not like we have many options." she muttered petulantly, "And it was your idea."

"Indeed it was. Now, are you going to behave like the supposedly mature, bright individual you are meant to be or am I going to have to send you to bed like a misbehaving toddler?"

Hermione glared back at him. "I'd like to see you try."

"Do not tempt me, Hermione."

"Fine. I'm listening."

"And not speaking?"

"And not speaking." she sighed.

"They'll have murdered each other within the first week." Sirius grinned, looking far too entertained. "Sure this is wise?"

"No," Severus replied succinctly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Why exactly am I here?" Draco asked his eyes on his Professor.

"What has Theo told you?"

"About?"

"Miss Black."

"Oh. I ah, that she's his twin."

"Indeed. We need a cover story for the Dark Lord."

"Ok." Draco drew the word out slowly.

"There has never been a match between the House of Nott and the House of Malfoy." Severus continued conversationally.

Draco frowned, "Well no. Both Houses favour boys."

"Indeed. We think that perhaps it would behove you to get to know Miss Black. She is, after all, the twin of one of your closest friends. The Dark Lord is likely to find the idea….intriguing. After all her power is well known, and yours is not far behind. Your children would be impressive."

"Children?" Draco spluttered as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"What my Uncle is trying to say is that they believe that Voldemort would be open to the idea of not murdering me outright if he thought someone was attempting to persuade me to your side, or at the very least gleaning facts about Harry from me. He seems to think it'll be more believable if you were seen to be seducing me."

Dracos jaw dropped as he let out a strangled, "What?"

"You are not stupid, Draco, despite some of your choices. You understood what Hermione said perfectly." Severus replied pointedly.

"I really don't think I did," he muttered, his heart racing. Could he do this? Pretend to seduce her when he wanted desperately for it to be real? He froze, could he make it real? He'd have to spend time with her, lots of time, to make the act believable. Could he convince her he wasn't the arse she thought he was? Gods it was worth trying wasn't it?

"Draco," Severus growled.

"To be fair Sir, it's not every day that you're asked to seduce someone to prevent them from getting murdered. I just…need a minute."

"Look, it's alright if you say no. It's not like we actually like each other."

"Speak for yourself, Granger. I find this side of you….intriguing."

"Don't be an arse."

"I'm being deadly serious." he grinned at her, "I had no idea you weren't always an uptight swot."

"For fucks sake," Severus mumbled.

"Where are his threats of being sent to bed?" Hermione asked indignantly.

"Planning on getting me into bed already Granger?" he smiled cockily at her.

She glowered for a moment before she seemed to change her mind, a slow smile spreading over her face, "Like you'd have any idea what to do with me when you got there, Malfoy. Tell me, how well do you take direction?" she purred suggestively.

Draco stilled not entirely sure he hadn't swallowed his own tongue. Theo's words now made perfect sense, she was nothing like he had expected. How had she hidden this side of her? He had watched her, more than was healthy if he was honest with himself and he'd seen nothing like this. He felt irrational jealousy at the thought that the occupants of Gryffindor tower were probably intimately familiar with the real Hermione in the way the rest of the school was not. Chancing a glance at his friend he realised that Theo looked both horrified and nauseated at her words as Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Kitten, you can't kill him off with questions like that. It's unsporting."

"Unsporting?" Severus spluttered before he rounded on her, "Where did you learn to speak like that?"

"Most of my friends are boys, Uncle Severus," she replied pointedly.

"And what are you doing with them?" he howled.

She hesitated before she scrunched up her nose. "Ew. Nothing. They're my friends." Severus relaxed at her words, not noticing the flash of understanding that crossed Sirius' face.

"What…what does this plan actually entail?" Draco asked, attempting to gain control of himself.

"Nothing strenuous. You meet Hermione with Theo. Spend some time together, pretend to get along, although actually getting along would be better. From there perhaps hints of a romance. Not a real one of course, but enough to satisfy the Dark Lord that you are seriously considering the witch. She's from an old family, you are aware of the courting rituals, so there would be no need for…."

"Kissing, touching, sex or the pretence thereof." Sirius cut in with a smirk when it became clear that Severus had no idea how to finish that sentence. "It would be all proper and boring."

"And if this drags on? Isn't he going to expect something formal?" Hermione asked.

"Perhaps, Kitten but you have two years of school left, Severus can say I'm stalling until you've sat your NEWTS. Hopefully, by then it won't be an issue."

"And if it is?"

"Then we drag out the betrothal negotiations, put a clause in that makes it breakable, drag out an engagement. My daughter must have the best you know and that takes time."

Hermione blanched. "That…you do know this is insane?"

"Yes. But we're sort of winging it, Kitten. We're not sure what he'll accept."

"Splendid." She replied sarcastically, "So we're hoping he's sane-ish on the day you're presenting this idea?"

"That would be our preference," Severus admitted with complete sincerity.

"I don't like it."

"Neither do we, particularly," Severus admitted. "But Draco does not want the Mark and you, presumably, do not want to be dead."

"You don't want the Mark?" Hermione asked, her head tilted.

"No." Draco admitted softly, "Did you miss the bit about him not being sane?"

"Sadly not," she muttered.

"Right, we need you both to think about this but realistically we need an answer as soon as possible."

"I'll do it," Draco replied quickly. "You're right I don't want the Mark and who knows what he'll decide over the summer. And she is my best friend's twin. I probably should get to know her, regardless of anything else."

"Hermione?"

"Fine." she sighed, "I suppose it makes sense given that he's Theo's friend."

"Thank the gods," Severus muttered. "Now, I will walk you two back to your common room. No, Theodore. No arguing, you can come back and see your sister in the morning." Ignoring his complaining nephew as he pushed him out of the door, Severus breathed a rather large sigh of relief that that particular conversation was over.

Sirius pinned Hermione with a look the moment the door closed. "Right then Kitten, I think it's time we had a chat." She looked back at him warily. "I have no urge to be a grandfather quite just yet, you know."

Hermione blanched, "I'm not an idiot." she muttered.

Sirius scoffed, "Who are you sleeping with Kitten?"

"Gods this is mortifying. Do we have to do this?"

"Yes!" he insisted.

"But why! We're being safe. It's legal!"

"Because you're my daughter and I bloody well want to know!"

"Fred." She sighed, slumping, serious Sirius was too hard to argue with, there was zero point in delaying the inevitable.

"Weasley?" Sirius checked, attempting to hide his surprise.

"Yes. It's…look I was curious. Viktor was sweet and he didn't push, especially given that I was only fifteen….fuck. Actually, I would have been fourteen. Gods. That's…I think the less I think about that, the better."

Sirius grimaced. "Well, this conversation isn't fun from the other side. I suddenly have a whole lot more respect for Charlus. He had two of us." He hesitated, "Are you and Fred…?"

"Gods no! I wanted to understand what all the fuss was about. We get on well, he's lovely but…not the one for me. He was really sweet and didn't make fun of me and he agreed to teach me what I wanted to know. We…it just sort of happens every now and then now."

"Who knows?"

"George. And probably Lee. But that's it. Can you imagine Ron if he knew?"

Sirius inclined his head, acknowledging her point. "You're being safe?"

"Yes, Pads. We're being safe."

"You know it can't continue? It would put everything at risk. It would be different if it was serious and you intended to be with him but seeing as you're saying you're not…."

"It wasn't going to," Hermione reassured him. "We both knew that once he left school that it'd stop."

"Good. Well, that was sufficiently horrifying for one night. Let's never do this again, Kitten." Hermione snorted, "You were the one who insisted."
"I just wanted to be sure you were being sensible! And that by tying you into whatever this is with Malfoy we weren't stepping on anyone's toes." he protested, "Anyway, it's time you were in bed. I'm relatively certain you do not want to be here when your Uncle calls Lucius."

Hermione screwed up her face. "No. Definitely not….Sirius?"

"Yes, Kitten?"

"Do…do you expect me to call you something different now?"

"Not if you don't want to," Sirius replied with a shrug. "If it's alright with you I'll keep describing you as my daughter, because that's what you are, but I don't expect you to change what you call me."

"Oh." she looked pensive. "I seem to have an awful lot of parents." she mused making him laugh. "You don't strike me as a father, to be honest, and I have a Dad."

"I've always been partial to Papa." he mused, suddenly realising that actually, he very much wanted her to stop calling him Sirius.

She frowned, moving to hug him. "I…Maybe I could manage that. Goodnight….Papa. Yeah, still strange."

He snorted, propelling her towards the bedroom door, "Goodnight, Kitten."

"You demanded my presence?" Lucius looked around the room, his face twisting into a sneer at the sight of Sirius.

"Sit down Lucius. Where's Narcissa?" Severus sighed.

"She'll be through momentarily." Lucius replied warily, "What is going on? Since when could you stand to be in the same room as Black?"

"Since he adopted my goddaughter." Sirius drawled, looking at Lucius mockingly.

"Your….Hermione? He adopted Hermione and Thoros allowed it?"

"Sit. We'll explain once Narcissa gets here." Severus commanded, wondering how many more times he was going to be forced into conversations he didn't want to have.

"Severus, what is the meaning of this?" Narcissa barked, her eyes glued to Sirius from where she had stopped just outside the floo.

"Sit down and we will explain."

Narcissa complied, warily. Between them, Sirius and Severus began to explain what had been happening since the Ministry break in.

"My sister?" Narcissa gasped, "My sister caused this?"

"So it would seem. We are unsure why." Severus admitted.

"I don't understand why we are here," Lucius complained. "You intimated that it was imperative we had this talk tonight."

"It is. We spoke to Hermione and Draco tonight."

"Draco? Why?" Narcissa questioned sharply.

"We discussed whether the Dark Lord could be convinced that Draco was interested in getting to know Hermione."

Narcissa got there quicker than Lucius. "As in a formal courtship?"

"Perhaps eventually." Severus allowed.

Lucius groaned. "He's always been fascinated with the witch. Do you think he'll go for it?"

"Draco? He and Hermione agreed tonight."

"No, the Dark Lord."

"I think we need it as a backup plan. He is not going to be pleased."

"But Draco agreed?"

"Yes."

"Very well. I'd recommend getting the Dark Lord to believe it was his idea." Lucius advised softly.

"Of course." Severus allowed.

"When will you go to him?"

"Now." Severus replied, "If we delay any longer it is going to be worse for us. I just didn't want to bring it up without speaking to you."

"I'll wait here." Sirius voiced, "I don't want to leave Hermione on her own."

Severus nodded, sending his Patronus to Thoros. "Very well. I have no idea how long we'll be. Lucius, Narcissa, I'll let you know what he decides, although perhaps be ready for him to summon you." They nodded, their faces tense as they disappeared through the floo. "Gods let him be reasonable," Severus muttered as he followed them.

"Sseveruss, Thoross" The Dark Lord's hissing voice always set Severus' teeth on edge. Drawing up his mental walls he bowed to his Master, watching dispassionately as Thoros followed suit. "It iss late."

"Yes, my Lord." Severus acknowledged, "We felt that this information could wait no longer."

"Oh?"

"My daughter, my Lord. It would appear that she is alive." Thoros stated quietly, his eyes trained on the Dark Lord's wand.

The Dark Lord froze in his seat, "Iss she indeed? And how did you discover this Thoross?"

"I…I asked Severus to check after I saw a girl who looked too like Asteria for me to ignore."

"Who is she?"

"Hermione Granger." Instinctively Severus braced himself, slamming up his occlumency shields in preparation, not sure how long he'd be allowed to remain standing. He was almost more worried when no curse came.

"Interesting. You come to bring me news of your disgrace, Thoross?"

"I…she knows no better, my Lord. Whoever took her left her with Muggles."

"I see. And what would you have me do?"

"We had perhaps wondered if it would be possible to convince her to trust us," Severus admitted. "She is already open to a relationship with Theo and through that, perhaps she will consider one with me. She is the brains Harry Potter is lacking, without her, he will fail. And even if I cannot break cover, she is young and desperate for approval. I imagine if I gave some she would talk, more so if she continues to believe I am on Potter's side."

"I see." The Dark Lord looked amused, which was quite frankly nightmare-inducing. "And how would you persuade her to talk?"

Ignoring the instantaneous feeling of nausea at what the Dark Lord was implying, Severus replied, "I am her Godfather. She has had a limited family and has believed herself to be the only child of only children. When she trusts, she trusts completely, you only have to watch her with Potter and Weasley to see it. I would seek to build a relationship with her as my goddaughter, Theo and I are already close, it would not be strange."

"I see." He looked thoughtful and they were still standing which was nothing short of miraculous. "And you Thoros, what relationship would you have with your daughter?"

"I do not know, my Lord." Thoros admitted, "The Black Blood Traitor adopted her as soon as he was able."

"Did he now?" it scared Severus more than he cared to admit that he had no idea how the Dark Lord had taken that news. "Meet her. Find out if she will be useful. Be warned, if she is not, I will eliminate her." Thoros gulped but nodded. "Perhaps…perhaps there is another angle."

"My Lord?" Severus queried.

"She is a young witch." he mused, "If Draco is to be believed, a plain, bookish one. Perhaps the attentions of an acceptable young wizard would sway her more than her godfather. She is, after all, despite her unfortunate upbringing, a pureblood, a powerful one at that. Who do we have at Hogwarts?"

"I…Cassius Warrington, Adrian Pucey, Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle…." Severus began.

"Yes, yes. And if I was to command one of them to show the witch some attention, who is she likely to accept?"

"I... I do not know, my Lord. Crabbe and Goyle would not last five minutes with her, Cassius perhaps, Adrian maybe, although I wonder if she'd find them too…immature. She appears to be a serious creature."

"I see. And the young Malfoy?"

"They have a contentious relationship. However he is Theo's best friend, their…acquaintance could be seen to be built more naturally than the others, therefore dulling any suspicion from others."

The Dark Lord nodded, calling "Blipsy." he sneered at the elf when it arrived. "Bring me Lucius Malfoy. Now."

Lucius appeared looking unruffled as if he had not just been kidnapped by one of his own elves.

"My Lord." he bowed.

"Lucius. We were discussing the newest member of the elite."

"My Lord?"

"It would seem as if the Nott daughter has miraculously been found alive."

"I see, my Lord." Lucius murmured.

"Do you indeed?" He looked amused again, as sane as he appeared tonight, it was unnerving for everyone else in the room. "I want Draco to seduce her. Get her to join us. She would be a boon. Of course, if he fails, his life, along with hers, will be forfeit. Do not let him fail me, Lucius."

Lucius paled. "Of course, my Lord."

"I want a betrothal by the end of the next school year. Let Harry Potter know without any doubt what side his friend has chosen. Once they are married, she'll fall in line as every woman of good breeding must. I expect Draco will be able to enforce the rules if necessary."

"Of course, my Lord."

"Good. Now leave me."

All of them escaped, breathing matching sighs of relief. "The timescale is not what we had hoped," Lucius murmured.

"No. but we will work with what we have."

"Do not make me regret agreeing to this Severus. He is my only child."

"I know," Severus murmured, praying to whatever god might be listening that they had not just made a major miscalculation.

"Well?" Sirius barked when Severus stepped out of the floo.

"We have a year. He wants a betrothal agreement by then. I…we will need to work out what information to pass to him. He outright told Thoros that he will have her murdered if she does not provide something. And he ordered Thoros to meet her. It was…not exactly what we had hoped for but it could have been worse."

"She's not going to be happy."

Severus snorted, "No. But Draco can be charming when he chooses, I imagine he'll work it out."

Sirius sighed,"Let's hope you're right. I'm staying here tonight, it doesn't feel right to leave just yet.."

Severus arched a brow, "Where?" Sirius grinned in response, shifting into Padfoot and padding through to the bedroom, leaving him to sort the sofa.

"Severus, Sirius! I must admit I am surprised to see you both here together." Albus smiled genially over the rim of his glasses.

"I imagine you are." Sirius agreed neutrally, "However we have news that we felt needed to be shared by both of us."
"Oh?"
"I adopted Hermione Granger yesterday." Sirius spoke slowly, "She is now, to all intents and purposes, a Black."
Albus paused, having clearly not expected that. "Why?"
"Were you aware that Miss Black was previously adopted?" Severus asked, his eyes scanning the Headmaster's face.

"I was."

"Hmmm. She was born Florence Nott."

Albus' eyes widened. "Was she?"

"Yes. Thoros noticed her similarity to Asteria during the MInistry break in and asked me to check."
"He is aware of who she is?" Albus asked sharply.

"Yes. She will meet him during the summer."
"Is that wise, Severus?"
Severus shrugged, "It was deemed the best course of action."
"By whom?"
"Me." Sirius replied, his tone brokering no argument.

"I see. And young Mr Nott?"
"Is unlikely to leave her side at any point soon. I believe he is already formulating an argument for his father to ensure he gets to spend a significant part of the summer with her."

"I see. Is Tom aware?"

"Yes. He…was not entirely pleased however is withholding judgement for just now."
"Why?" Albus asked, knowing there was more they weren't saying.

"Because he believes that she can either be persuaded to his side through Theo and myself or that she will say things she doesn't understand the importance of because she trusts us. He'll allow her to live as long as she is useful to him."
"And why would she trust you?"
"I am her godfather." he replied mildly. Albus paled.

"Absolutely not!"
"It is done." Severus snarled, "It is how it was always meant to be."
"How can you possibly protect the girl and keep up with your other duties?"
"My other duties can go hang, Albus!"

"This…we need to minimise the damage. Young Harry will need protected as her loyalties will now need to be split. Perhaps…"
"No." Sirius' tone brokered no argument, causing Albus' head to snap up in surprise.

"Sirius, we have an opportunity…."
"No! My daughter is not an opportunity! She is a bloody teenage girl who I refuse to let have anything to do with your scheming. And before you consider going over my head, Harry knows who her family is, she knows to refuse you and I've already informed Kingsley and Remus what's happening, they will have gotten word to the rest of the Order by now."
Albus stared back at him, shaken. "I see." he replied faintly, already wondering how he could work this to his advantage, the plans he had crafted previously lying in ruins before him.

"Hermione, you know this is madness?" Theo looked at his sister as she wrangled her hair into something she deemed acceptable.

"Where's your sense of adventure, Theodore?" she asked with a grin.

"I don't have any! It would appear you got it all while I got all the sense of self-preservation!" he shot back.

She laughed at him. "Theo you do not need to come."

He glared down at her. "I've seen what you're wearing, sister mine. I absolutely do."

"You'll be uninvited if you start with that nonsense. What I'm wearing is perfectly acceptable."

"Hermione!" He groaned, "Your top doesn't reach your trousers! And it's missing most of its back! And don't even get me started on those things…what did you call them?"

"Jeans, Theo."

"Right those! Why are they so tight at the top yet so big at the bottom? I don't understand! And I don't like it! Pureblood girls don't dress like that!"

Hermione snorted, "Well maybe they should!"

"Hermione, none of their parents would let them out like that! Father would have a bloody fit if he could see you!"

"That's sad." She dismissed. "Luckily for me, I've never met him and he has no idea. Pass me that roll on please."

Theo handed it to her exasperatedly. "You're making my job very difficult Hermione!" he whined before he paused, "What the fuck is that stuff?"

"Body glitter. And Theo, your job is to be my brother, not my bodyguard." She grinned as Ginny Weasley appeared in the room.

"Ooh! I love it! I came to steal some of that glitter."

Theo's eyes almost fell out of his head. The Weaslette was wearing something similar to his twin. Were all the bloody girls going to be half sodding naked tonight?

"Do you want a choker?" Ginny asked, holding out two black plastic necklaces.

"Yes please!" Hermione grinned. "Shall we get the decorating sorted?"

"It's mostly done, Dobby and Winky couldn't contain themselves. They've dropped off the food and the drinks. Dobby was muttering about helping Dean and Lee bring down the speakers and stuff. I think we might be good to go."

Hermione grinned, "Protection charms then?"

Ginny nodded, calling for Winky. "Winky, can you ward Professor Snape's things please with the usual wards so nothing gets damaged? Actually, maybe make them a bit stronger than normal, I'd like not to be murdered over a party."

"And the doors, Winky! The last thing we need is someone deciding Professor Snape's bed is the best place to make the next Hogwarts generation." Hermione cut in.

"Winky cans bes doing that."

"Thanks, Winky."

Winky nodded, muttering under her breath for several minutes while Theo watched in shock. He jumped with the arrival of Lee Jordan and Dean Thomas who ignored him and moved to set up a plethora of equipment in the corner.

The twins appeared not long after dumping something into a bowl of punch and setting another one next to it. It appeared to be smoking, which was beyond alarming. He felt more than a little out of his depth. Why couldn't his sister have been the demure little goody-two-shoes everyone thought she was? He could cope with that. He had no fucking idea what to do with this girl, he'd never encountered anything like it.

"Alright, mate, you ready for this?" George…he thought, slapped him on the shoulder, grinning maniacally.

"No," he replied shortly. Whatever twin it was laughed like he was joking. Theo looked around desperately, spotting the other one standing far too fucking close to his sister, his hand touching her waist.

"I'm just…."

"Going to give them five minutes peace." Whatever twin it was responded, pulling him over to the sofa. "Sit. I'll bring you punch."

Whatever Theo wanted to say was cut off dramatically by the arrival of what felt like every Gryffindor in the castle. How the fuck had they got down here without being caught? He felt momentary relief at the sight of his friends hovering wide-eyed at the door for a moment before they were shoved in by a gaggle of what he thought were Hufflepuffs.

"This is…" Adrian started.

"Not what you expected?" Theo finished.

"No."

"Theo…what the fuck is your sister wearing?" Draco's voice interrupted, a scowl clear on his face.

"She informed me that it was perfectly acceptable." he sighed.

"If someone pulled those fucking ties she'll not be wearing a top!"

"Yes, thank you I am unfortunately aware but she's Hermione bloody Granger… Black… whatever. She's the most stubborn person I have ever met! Do you want to try and convince her?"

"Before or after we remove her redheaded accessory?" Adrian grinned.

Draco growled. "Why the fuck is he standing so goddamned close? What is in that drink?"

"I believe that's Finnegan's famous punch," Theo sighed, "As for the Weasley, I don't know."

"Fuck this," Draco muttered, standing abruptly.

"Oh, this ought to be good." Cassius grinned.

"What's going on? Why does Draco care?" Pansy asked with a frown.

Theo shrugged awkwardly. "House Nott and House Malfoy have never had a match. It's been…discussed."

Their jaws dropped. "What!" Pansy screeched.

"Look, nothing's set in stone but it would be a….smart match."

Cassius and Adrian looked at each other and laughed, "Fuck she'll eat him alive. Look at them!"

"Shit! Hermione put your wand down!" Theo ran, ignoring the increased volume of his friend's laughter behind him. "Hermione. You cannot hex him." Deciding that she probably wouldn't hurt him, he pressed down on her wand arm.

"Oh? Even when he calls me a whore, Theo?"

"You did what?" Theo barked, turning to Draco who paled.

"That's not what I said, Granger…Black…"

"Did you or did you not just tell me that only women of a certain profession would dare to show so much skin in public?"

"Right well…I stand by that. You…you're missing the back of your top!"

"I am not! It is meant to look like this!"

"Why?" he whined.

"Because it's fashion! Just because the Wizarding world is stuck in the Victorian era does not mean we all have to be!"

"But…but it's not…proper!"

"It's perfectly proper. Everything that needs to be covered is. Remove the stick from your arse Malfoy, go drink some punch. I'm going to dance."

"Allow me, Miss Black." Adrian grinned at her.

She looked at him entirely unimpressed."You are?"

"Adrian Pucey. Unlike these two I have…no issues with your attire this evening."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm sure you don't." she replied dryly. "Come along then Mr Pucey, let's see your moves."

Draco's jaw dropped as Hermione disappeared into the middle of a group of people who were all dancing to music neither of them recognised in ways that made him decidedly uncomfortable. Were they meant to be moving like that?

"What the fuck just happened?

"I'm going to murder Pucey," Theo muttered, "After you, of course."

"Me!" he yelped. "What did I do!

"You called my sister a whore!"

"I did not! I was merely pointing out her need to be…more appropriately attired."

"Draco" Theo growled.

"You can't say you disagree!"

"Draco…you know what. I'm not going to have to murder you, my sister will do it for me." he sighed, stomping back to his friends.

Several hours later, his head was thumping, the numbers had dwindled down to a more manageable level as Seamus' punch had weeded out the weak. Or that was his explanation. His friends were still looking as if they had no idea how they'd got there, his bloody sister was sitting on Neville Longbottom's lap and someone had brought up truth or dare. Draco had been blessedly quiet, even if he was attempting to eviscerate Longbottom with his eyes. Theo was just grateful that he hadn't seen the way Hermione danced. Were all non-Slytherins this…easygoing?

"Right, I'll start." Susan Bones piped up. "Circle or spin the bottle?"

"Bottle!" Finnegan crowed, holding up a half empty bottle of what Theo thought was mead. Susan merely nodded, summoning an empty butterbeer bottle.

"Dobby," Harry called quietly. "Can you vanish the mess? If Snape comes back and sees this he'll murder us. Maybe…maybe get rid of everything actually. We'll use this bottle."

Dobby nodded, sending the Professor's room back to rights. The Slytherins blinked.

"How often do you do this!" Blaise asked.

"Monthly," Harry admitted. "We learned to get rid of the evidence and keep the stuff that's hideable. Now…truth or dare, we use these bottles, add in the veritaserum and we're good to go."

"You cannot truly believe we're going to let you dose us with veritaserum?" Draco sneered.

"Do feel free to go back to your little den Malfoy. But if you're staying, you're playing and you're getting dosed."

Draco scowled, his eyes drifting over to where Hermione was whispering something to Neville. Something that made the boy give a shriek of laughter and tighten the arm that was draped around her waist. "I'm staying where I am, thanks." He muttered.

Harry grinned, "Great. Who has the veritaserum?"

"Oh. me!" Hermione raised her wand, summoning it before moving off Neville's lap and pouring in what looked like a random amount. "We're good. It only lasts one question. Remember the rules. No unwanted sexual contact, no targeting one person, play nicely." she glanced pointedly at Ron, saluted her.

Susan grinned, spinning the bottle.

It would go down in history as one of the strangest nights the Slytherins had ever experienced. None of them had been prepared for the brutal honesty of the other houses or the sheer idiocy of the Gryffindors. Thankfully they appeared to have taken it rather easy on them, although both Theo and Draco privately thought they could have done without the heartstopping moment where it had looked like Hermione was seriously considering kissing Hannah Abbott before she took the shot instead, revealing that she had in fact, never kissed another girl. And they could definitely have done without seeing Seamus starkers and running around the quidditch pitch. They also weren't sure what they were going to do when the Professors realised that all of Trelawanys crystal balls had been transfigured into shot glasses, complete with a wrapped bottle of muggle sherry that they absolutely did not want to know the origins of. Or how they were going to look Blaise in the eye after he had flown after Seamus, equally as naked, apparently loving every minute. Theo thought he could also have done without knowing that Draco had apparently received his first blow job from Pansy…he could definitely have done without knowing it had been on his bed. He was seriously fucking glad that he had gotten away with just a dare to jump into the Black Lake. Ron had suggested skinny dipping but Hermione had thankfully put an end to that stating clearly that she had no urge to see her brother naked thank you very much. Weasley's argument had gotten lost in Finnegan's teasing that she hadn't objected to his nakedness but for once Theo decided to let it go if it meant he kept his clothes on. Unfortunately, after that, he'd been lured into a false sense of security and was therefore scarred for life at the sight of a pair of triumphant Weasley's pulling McGonagall's knickers behind them like a grotesque kite. He did not want to know how they'd managed to steal them but he was absolutely sure that he would never forget it.

All in all though it had gone much better than expected, they had mainly stuck to truths, and the Gryffindors, while embarrassing them, had not gone for outright humiliation. Which could only be considered a win. Until the door slammed open.

In a move that could only be called practised, the glasses and firewhiskey bottles disappeared. Severus' eyes swept the room, narrowing on his goddaughter where she was now perched on Susan Bone's lap. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he drawled.

"Ah…second last night in the castle. We thought we'd make the most of it." Hermione explained trying her damnedest to sound sober.

"Is that so?" Severus replied softly. Behind him, Sirius looked amused.

"Did you have a good night, Uncle Severus?"

"Perhaps not as good as you."

"Oh?" she squeaked.

"Stand up, all of you!" he roared.

The Gryffindors managed to stand reasonably straight, as did the Hufflepuff stragglers. Tiny Luna Lovegood, the last Ravenclaw standing, managed to look only slightly spacier than normal. The swaying could realistically be attributed to her usual oddness if one didn't look too closely. The Slytherins however, knew the moment that they attempted to stand that it was a bad idea. Nothing appeared to be staying still. Including them.

"Tell me…tell me that you are not drunk," Severus demanded, already feeling the headache brewing. He knew he shouldn't have taken the mutt up on his offer to work on being civil for Hermione's sake at the Three Broomsticks.

"I…Well, I'm not drunk." Hermione responded, looking him dead in the eye.

"And them?"

"Ah, they might be…a wee bit merry."

"A wee bit merry?" he repeated incredulously. "What the bloody hell were you thinking!"

"That we needed a little bit of help so we didn't murder one another," Hermione responded bluntly. "It was working so well."

"That's because they're so pissed they can't stand up straight!"

"Right well…perhaps we overdone it slightly."

"Slightly! How the hell did you even get alcohol into school! You are not of age! Christ, you're barely sixteen and look at you all!"

"Come on now, Severus." Sirius interjected, "Did you never have a drink at school?"

"Not like this! A firewhiskey at the weekends once you hit fifth year, that was it!"

"What, really? Gods how dull. In that case, I'll tell you how we're going to deal with this." Harry and Hermione shot each other a panicked look. "We're going to send them off to bed. And in the morning, we'll summon them back here for their lecture….and probably some caldron scrubbing, ooh or some potions ingredient preparation. It'll feel wonderful with that hangover that's coming."

"You're meant to be on our side!" Harry gasped.

"I am on your side, Pup. The pair of you forgot the first rule."

They both groaned, much to the Slytherin's confusion. "Don't get caught." they intoned in unison.

"Exactly. Now. Off to bed. Can you all make it on your own?" he frowned, taking in the unsteady students swaying in front of him, "Perhaps someone needs to walk your snakes home."

"I'll take them. The rest of you to bed. I expect you here directly after breakfast…" Severus paused. "Hermione, where are the rest of your clothes?"

"That's what we wanted to know." Draco slurred, "Said she could wear what she wants. Got quite cross."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll deal with you later. Go to bed!"

"Good night, kitten?" Sirius asked cheerfully, dropping down to sit on her bed once Severus was gone and she was safely under the covers.

"I think we might have irrevocably broken the Slytherins," she admitted with a smirk. "But even Ron managed to behave. Mainly by staying far away from them, but still."

He snorted, "Wonderful. You have your hangover potion?"

"Of course I do! Do you think I'm an amateur?"

He laughed at her, "That's my girl. Do they have one?"

"The Slytherins? They didn't ask," she replied angelically.

"Theo is not going to be pleased," he warned.

She shrugged, "Then he shouldn't have let Malfoy call me a whore."

"He did what?"

"Draco took exception to my outfit. Apparently, only ladies of a certain profession would dare to go out so uncovered. "

"And he's still alive, Kitten?"

"I took his friend off to dance with," she replied with a smirk. "And then I sat on Neville's knee. We do it all the time, he's far more interested in Theo than me, but Draco doesn't need to know that."

He let out a bark of laughter, "Kitten are you trying to kill them?"

"Of course not, just shake things up a little"

"You're certainly doing that," he muttered. "Now, sleep before your uncle comes back in lecture mode. I'm heading home tonight. I've had Bill Weasley looking over Black Hall, did I tell you?"

She shook her head, her eyelids already drooping. "Tell me in the morning. Night, Papa."
He smiled, running a hand over her head. "Night Kitten."

All of the Slytherins looked distinctly green as they trudged down to breakfast. In contrast, everyone else looked fine.

Turning his head slowly Draco hissed. "How in the name of Merlin do they not look like death? I feel like death!"

Theo had a sneaking suspicion he knew the answer to that but decided not to voice it out loud in the hopes he was right and could convince his sister to take pity on him. Slowly, an idea came to him.

"I think I might go and eat with Hermione, seeing as Uncle Severus has apparently decided she's allowed at breakfast today," he muttered, gracelessly clambering off the bench trying not to jolt his head too much. Ignoring the whispers he slunk into the seat next to her.

"Have I told you lately you're my favourite sister?" he asked slightly piteously.

Hermione stifled a laugh. "Oh?"

"Hermione," he whined. "It hurts and you have potions!"

"Ah, how do you know I just didn't drink as much as you?" He pinned her with as much of a glare he could manage until she snorted. "You're actually pathetic. It's a good job I think I might like you enough to keep you. Here." She slid a small potions vial into his hand. He could have cried with relief as he tried to drink it as discreetly as possible. If Severus caught wind of it their punishment would be ten times harsher.

The relief was almost instant. "Oh thank the gods," he muttered.

Across the table, Harry and Ron laughed at him. "Feeling better?"

"Much," he sighed, not even bothering to hide his relief as he began to contemplate breakfast.

"You know the whole hall is staring right?" Neville muttered into Hermione's ear.

Hermione shrugged, "It won't be the first time, will it?"

He huffed out a laugh, "No. I guess it won't."

"Do I even want to know what's going on here?" Theo asked, waving his knife between Hermione and Neville in a way his father would have hexed him for.

Hermione let out a loud peal of laughter as Neville turned so red Theo wasn't sure he wouldn't explode. "Shall we tell him, darling?" Hermione purred, stroking a hand down his face once she recovered sufficiently enough to talk.

Neville stuttered for a moment before he smirked, "You'd get a bloody big fright if I said yes."

Arching her brow she grinned, "Shall we try it, Neville?"

His eyes blew wide as he realised what she was suggesting. "How about no?" he ventured before turning to Theo. "We're just friends. Good friends, absolutely nothing more. Your sister is just an incorrigible flirt."

Theo frowned knowing he was missing something but nodded as Hermione laughed, "Oh but it's so fun to watch their reactions. No one expects it from a bookworm."

"I have no idea why," Ginny mused from next to Neville. "An international quidditch star took you to the bloody Yule Ball. And it wasn't because he was interested in your Rune lectures."

"People see what they want to," she replied with a shrug as Theo's head spun with that horrifying thought.

Small disclaimer- the legal drinking age in the Uk is 18. And regardless of whether they should or shouldn't it ins't uncommon for teens to drink before hand so please don't shout at me!