Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. Hopefully, when I finish writing my goddamn book, I can sell the rights for a bundle. Then I don't have to write these disclaimers anymore.

Hey, a man can dream.

Chapter 14: The More You Know

All of that 'walk into the light' stuff when you have a near-death experience is untrue. It was for me at least. It was more like I just went to sleep, then woke up.

I hadn't been in the infirmary for a while, so when I woke up, I was less than pleased to see the room that I'd first woken up in when I'd originally arrived at Xavier's. There was a trend beginning here. One that I didn't particularly like.

"Fuck," Was the first waking word out of my mouth, "I'm thirsty."

"Ohhhhh, look who's not dead."

I turned my head to the side and saw Eddie sitting in a chair, messing around on a portable device. As my vision focused, I noticed that it was my PS Vita.

"Why do you have that? You'd have had to go into my room to get it," I asked, feeling selfish for a moment. The feeling quickly passed. If he was able to get it away from Saberwolf and keep all of his limbs, he could play it for a while.

Eddie looked up from the game I assumed he was playing to give me a smug look, "Well, you were out for a whole day. I just figured if you died, you'd want me to have something special to remember you by."

It was a joke. One he needed to tell and get my reaction from to establish if I was really okay.

"You're a real bro, Wing," I said sarcastically as I slowly started to sit up. I didn't feel any pain, or even a scar from my injury, "Remind me to thank Elixir later, or at least tell the New Mutants to."

"I thought you were out the whole time. How'd you know Josh patched you up?"

Under the covers, I pulled my hospital gown up to check myself out more closely, "I got my guts cut out, and none of the X-Men were home at the time," I said dryly, "I'm figuring someone dropped me in front of him before I flatlined for too long."

"Yup," Eddie set the Vita aside and sighed, taking a moment before addressing the obvious elephant in the room, "You seriously almost bit it this time, man. But Dr. McCoy said you would be okay after some sleep. Something about your powers and how you use your stored energy to regenerate or something. I was only able to make out so much about what he was saying."

He seemed really affected by my nearly dying. I just wanted to get out of the infirmary, "Cool. Let's get the hell out of here," I couldn't be bothered to care.

I'm kind of an asshole when it comes to how other people react to things. If I'm not emotionally affected, I can't empathize. I'll ignore it if I can get away with it. It's not a very… heroic trait to be that detached from the immediate world around me, I admit.

Eddie couldn't believe how I responded, "Dude, you almost died. Don't you care?"

What did he want from me? To wake up panting, patting at myself to make sure I was still in one piece? "No, because I'm not dead, and as far as I can tell, I'm fine now. What do you want from me?" He looked at me like I was some kind of alien creature. No, I'm pretty sure I fought the alien.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" Eddie asked.

That was offensive. I loved life. After all, it was just getting interesting for me, "No. I like living, and I get scared when stuff tries to kill me. Same as anyone else, really."

Kind of. Most people didn't have things actively trying to end their lives. That aside, I still had a pretty solid point, in my opinion. Eddie did not agree, "No, not really. Because when things like this happen, and it's over, you don't seem to dwell too much on it."

"Survive and advance," I said in what I thought was a smooth manner, "It happened, it was bad. Now it's over, I'm still alive, and I can look back and figure out how to keep from messing up that way, so it'll never happen again."

Eddie scoffed and turned his chair away grumpily, "Whatever. Be that way then," He said before a devious grin formed on his face, "Whatever I have to say couldn't possibly be any worse than what everybody else is gonna say when they get in here."

Oh no. Eddie being miffed at me was one thing. He was a guy, and that meant I could deal with him easily enough. The girls were another matter. Hisako was tough to handle when I hadn't done anything to set her off. Ruth got very touchy when I was careless about my own well-being.

…And I didn't even want to think about the kind of hell I was going to catch from Miss Pryde. Yeesh. No thank you on that front.

I looked around the room for a closet or some kind of place for my belongings to go, "Where are my clothes? I've got to get out of here now."

Eddie shook his head, reveling a bit too much in my displeasure, "Heh, no," He said, the jerk, "Not a chance. There's no way I'm letting you try to budge until the girls get here. Miss Pryde's got some choice words for you. Pretty sure Armor does too."

A chill went down my spine. Hell is other people, "Dude, come on. I will deal with this later. Not five minutes after waking up. Please," I tried to negotiate.

"No can do," He pointed at his own eyes and gestured his head to me, "You're in the red now too, so you can't even kick my ass and get away," He crowed victoriously.

I tried to channel some light energy to my hand and felt almost empty. Nothing some time out in the sun couldn't fix in a day or so, but far too low to go around playing with. He was right. Well, partially right at least.

"I don't need my powers to kick your ass," I declared, fully prepared to prove this point and slug my way out of the infirmary, "Want to see?"

He seemed a bit apprehensive at first, until he stopped and took a good loom at me, "No, because I don't need to see you running bare-assed through the Institute."

I was black, yes, but still light-skinned enough to where I could actually blush, "Eddie, where are my goddamn clothes!?"

"Don't tell him anything, Wing!" Hisako said as she walked into the room with a frowning Ruth, "That moron is staying right there until Dr. McCoy clears him."

Betrayal! Eddie shrugged carelessly when I went to bring this up to him, "Hey, I texted everybody back when you started moving around. Then you woke up."

Fair enough. All I could do now was deal with it. I put the biggest, stupidest grin on my face that I could and threw my hands up into the air, "Girls! Show me some love!"

Hisako stared at me like I was some strange tentacle monster, and yes that was a Japan joke, "What are you doing? Put your arms down," She said.

I was being an idiot on purpose to try and disarm whatever spiel she'd been set to go on, "I want a hug. Aren't you happy that I'm alright?"

Damn Hisako. Still so cold to me, "Too damn bad. You can't get one," Fortunately, Ruth disregarded her altogether and leaned herself over my bed and me to wrap her arms around me, "Blindfold, get off of him! He's supposed to be in trouble!"

I hammed it up with a big sigh, rocking side-to-side, rubbing Ruth's back, "This is why you're my favorite," I stage whispered, letting her give me a good extra squeeze before she let go.

"She is happy that you survived," Ruth told me once she pulled away, and she honestly seemed overjoyed to say so, "Yes. She saw Ord before, but no, not for this. Something worse, yes."

Still sat off to the side, Eddie voiced his disbelief, "What? No way. Worse than Sol getting his guts cut out like a slaughterhouse pig?"

Ruth pulled away from me and gave Eddie the gravest look she could give with half of her facial features concealed, "Yes," Eddie pressed himself a bit farther into his chair, "Pardon, this was better. So much better. She is happy Bellamy is here with us. You should be too, Wing."

Wow. Ominous.

Whatever weirdness was brewing, I screwed it all up by throwing an arm around Ruth and pulling her to sit with me, "Well I'm happy I'm here. It's much better than being dead."

Ruth let out a sigh, as though we didn't understand what she was telling us, "No, she meant-… No, it doesn't matter. That future has changed, thank you."

Hisako walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Right. I'm not even mad anymore. It's just good to see you awake."

Aw. That was nice. I just smiled at her and nodded. I loved my team. Speaking of my team, two of them were missing. Namely our advisor and our newest member.

Since no one was going anywhere, we all got comfortable in my infirmary room, "Okay, I love you guys, but we're short a few Paladins here," I pointed out, "Where are Laura and Miss Pryde?"

"Well Laura was here. Not that long ago actually," Eddie told us, "She stood at the foot of your bed for a while, just looking at you. She was the one who buzzed me about you moving around, getting ready to wake up."

I didn't know whether to be happy that our socially challenged teammate had come to see me, or that she'd identified that I was waking up, then left, "And she just left without saying hi?" Eddie nodded, having been the only one present at the time, "Fine, okay. What about Miss Pryde then?"

This time Hisako answered me, "Oh. Her boyfriend came back," She said, as though such a thing wasn't surprising. It clearly showed on my face, "…We didn't know she had one either. She never told us about him."

None of this was helpful to me, or my all-important ego, "Okay, I'm confused. What makes that more important than this? And yes, I'm aware that makes me sound like an asshole. I don't care," Just to make things clear, in case my friends forgot who they were dealing with.

A soft knock came at my open door, alerting us all that Dr. McCoy had come to see me, "Because until last night, our dear friend Peter was believed to be dead," He said, having overheard us before greeting us, "Hello, children."

All of us looked at each other before Hisako said the first thing that came to mind, "…So is this one of those things that we can't know about?" It just so happened that her first thought was the one that I assumed Eddie was also thinking. I assumed as much because it was what I had been thinking.

Dr. McCoy shook his head and chuckled as he walked over to me, looking down at his clipboard, "Seeing as how the individual responsible for bringing him back from the dead attempted to kill your squad leader, I would say you should," He said before looking up at me with a gentle smile. Dr. McCoy was a cool guy, "Now, where to begin?"

I was eager to learn. Learn about the guy that turned me inside out, "You can start with telling me who that big mothertrucker who ran me over was, if you don't mind."

Dr. McCoy was always happy to explain things to someone who would listen. Now he had four someones, "Certainly. His name is Ord, a 'diplomat' of the Breakworld. He's not exactly the most pleasant fellow, is he? Arm, please," He asked, holding up a syringe.

I knew most that stuff already though. He had identified himself while he had been in the middle of trying to end my life. Also, he had been a dick while trying to end my life, "Okay, what kind of beef does he have with you? He wanted me to send the X-Men a message. Then he cut my guts out."

That statement, along with the added sight of Dr. McCoy drawing some of my blood made Hisako a tad queasy, "Do you have to put it that way?" She said. I hadn't asked, but at least one of my team members had to have seen what I'd looked like before Elixir put me back together, "Ugh, I don't want to think about that."

Maybe gore just didn't bother me so much when it was mine, "It's exactly what happened. There isn't exactly a way to sugarcoat getting eviscerated," I said, rubbing my arm where the needle had gone in, "What else can you tell us, Doctor?"

"A government agency worked with Ord to switch the body of a friend of ours who died saving the world. This was done as a bargain between the agency and Ord to keep Breakworld from declaring war on Earth. In exchange for peace, Ord would have the chance to use his body to come up with a way to cure mutants. If you've been watching the news, they've done it. Namely, Dr. Rao did."

Hisako started putting things together, "This guy is a diplomat, so he has immunity like the bad guy in Lethal Weapon 2, right? So if Bel was actually good enough to kill that guy-."

I took that moment to interject, "I wouldn't have killed him. I mean, I wouldn't have then. I might now," And I felt right in feeling that way.

Hisako lightly paintbrushed me over the head a few times to get me to be quiet. She didn't even look my way. It wound up starting a ten second slapfight, "-If Bel was good enough to kill that guy, he would have started an intergalactic war," Dr. McCoy gave a weird wiggle of his hand, as if to say that she was mostly on-base, "That is nuts. How do you get into these things?"

That was not the biggest thing Eddie took away from what we'd heard, "Fuck that! That guy is the reason that scientist lady came up with 'Hope'?" He asked, bewildered that things about the mutant cure could get even worse, "What if he attacks the mansion and uses that stuff on us?"

I held up my hand, still getting a very weak glow from the lack of juice flowing through my body. Still, there was enough to make a point, "Then I'll shoot him in the face. Did I not say this to you the other day?"

My braggadocio would have been a lot more effective on Eddie, had I not been running my mouth from a hospital bed, "Oh, yeah. Because that worked so well for you the first time. Right now, you're weaker than I've ever seen you. You're not fighting anybody like that."

His snark was not appreciated. Nor was his reminder of my near-fatal defeat.

Dr. McCoy stood between us before we could go head-to-head, "It won't take long for you to rebuild your energy," He said to me, "I need to look into your physiology more, but it seems that when you suffer serious, life-threatening injuries your body shuts down and uses whatever you have stored up to heal you."

I sat there and grumbled, "Well that sucks. So I have to sleep to get super-fast healing?" And I could only sleep for certain after getting the piss beaten out of me. Thanks, powers, "Forget that for now. What is this all about?"

Sugarcoating our potential demise was not something Dr. McCoy was in the business of. He'd been through it enough that it was kind of passe for him, "A mutant will destroy Breakworld. It's been predetermined, allegedly. Only, no one knows who it will be, so Ord, ambitious individual as he is, decided he would wipe out all of mutantkind just to be safe."

Oh. Well alright then. All of us just looked at each other, without saying a word. No one really knew how to respond to that, and the good doctor recognized that.

"Yes, everyone reacts that way the first time they're involved in something like this," Dr. McCoy nonchalantly said. He set his clipboard aside and started unhook me from some of the machines I was on, "Regardless, you should be fine to return to the student dormitories. I'll run bloodwork for you to make sure there are no anomalies, but other than that, I'm releasing you from my care. Go forth, brave young Solaris!" He concluded with theateresque pomp.

"Cool!" I almost went to jump out of the bed until I remembered my hospital gown problem, "Okay, someone get me some pants!"

Just as long as I could put all of that crap behind me. Almost dying once was the limit for me in any given situation. I had done my due superhero-trainee diligence.

XxX

It took a few hours, but I finally got enough energy back to start safely throwing around again. Not that I did, mind you. It was just nice to have the knowledge in the back of my mind that if a brawl duked off, I could let loose with some delicious light.

Everything that happened, I just chalked it up as another thing that I wouldn't be telling my parents about once the summer rolled around. I wouldn't even know how to begin explaining any of it to keep them from getting heart attacks. For once, I decided to do something active outdoors to try and gather as much sunlight as I could, the purest light source available. Fortunately, I was able to find some people willing to let me join in on some of their festivities.

"So you're really better now?" Gold-skinned Josh Foley asked me as he smashed the baseball in his hand into his glove, "Man, when Pixie dropped you in front of me, I thought you were a goner for sure."

I stood a ways away warming up my arms to swing the bat in my hands. David stood behind me, ready to catch, "I should have been. You basically had to shove my guts back into me. I owe you one. Just say the word," I said, digging my heels into the grass, ready to hit.

Josh got the message and set himself up to pitch, "Nah, we owed you one in my book. If you want to call it even though, I'm cool with that."

"Good. That means I don't have to feel bad about this," I said just as he let loose with his throw. With a shift of my hips and a swing of my arms, the little white ball never had a chance of getting by me. The crack of wooden bat split the air, "Love that sound," As the ball soared through the air, the New Mutants' resident flyer Jay Guthrie caught it before I could bask in the glory of my hit, "Hey! Come on, Jay! Let my homerun breathe a bit!"

I was excited, which was weird because I hated baseball with a passion. But I loved winning... mostly as a side-effect of being competitive and hating losing.

"Nah! That ball wouldn't have even seen the track, bud!" Jay yelled back from the air, throwing the ball back down to Josh, "Light 'im up, Elixir!"

Josh didn't need the motivation, but he accepted it regardless, "Yeah, I've got something special for you this time, Bellamy," He stopped and turned to the side where three of his other teammates were sitting, making sure he got the attention of the blonde one, Wallflower, "Hey, Laurie! Watch this! Three strikes, coming right up! First one down the middle!"

She cheered back, because they were into each other, "You can do it, Josh!"

Good for them. It wasn't going to help him strike me out. My hand-eye coordination was that of a gamer, mixed with an athlete and a trained fighter. And that was before factoring in the superpowers, "Hey, don't bring other people into this. I didn't even bring my crew," I said.

From the sidelines, Noriko chimed in, "Isn't part of that because Hisako hates you?" She would know, seeing as how they actually hung out sometimes, "I don't think she'd cheer for you even if she was here."

I waved my hand to play it off, "It's not hate. She just doesn't always have the highest opinion of the way I carry myself. Which sucks, because I could really use some goddamn team spirit here!" I griped aloud.

Everyone was against me, even David, who usually went under the radar, "What's the matter, Bel? Can't take the pressure?" He said, still standing in place as the catcher.

"Not you too," I said to him, getting back into position to hit once again, "I don't know if you've noticed or not, but my best work comes when the lights are on me and shining bright. Now throw the ball, Midas," I finished with a taunt to Josh, trying to get a mental edge before I hit his pitch off of damn campus.

With Josh good and riled, we were all set to go. Just as he made the motion for the pitch, David stood up behind me and pointed elsewhere, "Pixie."

A sufficient distraction, at the worst possible time, "What?" I stood straight up and looked over only to take a hard-ass baseball to the arm, "Ah! Fuck!"

There was a quite unhealthy 'thwack' sound as it bounced off of me. Everybody winced at the same time while I hopped around holding where I was hit. It was the most reserved reaction I could muster. I wanted to drop to the ground, but that wasn't cool.

David, being the closest, walked over to try and see if I was alright while I kept pacing around like a wounded animal, "Ooh. You alright?"

I grit my teeth and tried to suck it up. I'd been beaten to a pulp and cut open before. Why did a baseball thrown by a teenager hurt so much? "It was in the bicep," Better than in the elbow. If I'd gotten a broken bone just after getting over what had already happened to me, I'd have been upset, "Come on, Elixir. You just fixed me, and I just got out of the infirmary."

Josh dismissed himself from blame, and granted, it wasn't really his fault, "Don't blame me. You stood up on the plate. I told you it was coming right down the middle. My fastball's as gold as I am," He paused and felt the need to specify something else, "That doesn't count as a walk, by the way. You left the box."

"Shut up," I said, with no real heat. Even if I had been mad, there were more important matters to attend to at the moment, "Hey, I've got to go handle something. I'll see you guys around."

That 'something' was the pink-haired girl that had wandered over to talk to Noriko, Laurie, and Sofia. We had made eye contact for a split-second before I'd been belted with Josh's pitch, then she'd tried to slip away.

Not today she wasn't. She figured as much too, looking back when I called out to her, "Megan! Hey!" I finally got her to stop neat the boathouse by the lake, "Why'd you leave? You could have said hi."

She turned around to face me, and the first thing I noticed was that she didn't seem happy that I was alright, "I didn't come to see you. You were just there, actually walking around in one piece."

Her tone was frosty. She couldn't have been upset that I was out doing things instead of wasting away in the infirmary to heal, "You're not gonna asked me why I'm out of bed or something, are you?" I asked.

"I already knew. People have been talking about it all morning," She said, not getting any more cordial with me as our talk progressed, "People kinda pay attention when you almost die."

Ah, there we go. Now we were at the heart of the matter, "You're angry about the whole Ord thing."

She turned to look at me. From how she did it, angry didn't even begin to describe the range of emotions she had felt, "You said you were going to die," She said, bringing me back to what I said to her when Ord was bearing down on us, "You told me not to do anything. I wanted to save your life. You were bleeding to death in my arms."

Maybe, but I didn't want her to get hurt the way I did, "I thought he would hurt you the way he hurt me. Maybe worse," I said, but it did nothing to pacify her. I didn't back down, "…I'm not apologizing, Megan."

She turned red, and not out of embarrassment. It was my last warning that she was about to blow her top, "I'm training to be part of the X-Men too! If you could fight back while that big jerk tried to take your head off, why can't I?" She asked heatedly, "I don't need you to protect me! I don't want to see anymore of my friends die while I'm standing right there and can do something about it! I thought you understood that!"

Oh. Hisako was right. I am a moron.

We all lived through the Danger Room kerfuffle. Things from that little event didn't stick with only me. We all got a piece of it. It screwed all of us up in a way. It wasn't even that long ago. And here I went running off, pushing Megan out of the way and making her see the same thing all over again. This time was worse! She actually had to watch me almost get killed instead of just coming across my body later.

All of it just proved what I thought before the date what I already knew. Megan was too good of a girl for me, "I do understand. I'm not sorry for what I did. But I get why you're pissed. If what I do doesn't actively screw over anyone, I don't think about how it could hurt them," I told her. I thought she was great, but I wasn't empathetic enough to be with someone like her and make her feel good, "I don't think you should hang out with me. I'm kind of an asshole."

Megan didn't seem very impressed with my self-aware admission, "Duh. I knew that already," Though as a plus, her expression softened, "I said you're a good person. Not that you're a nice person," She reached out and put a hand on my shoulder, "I… still want to get to know you."

I felt a few butterflies in my stomach. She saved my life, and still liked me enough to want to maybe go out again. As far as getting ripped open went, this was the best possible outcome from it I could ask for.

Megan leaned against the wall of the boathouse and held her arms, "God, Bel, there was so much blood. It just wouldn't stop. I don't know how I made it back to school with you. That was the scariest thing I've ever seen," She told me with a shiver, "Even when Josh put you back together... you still looked so bad. I thought we were too late."

I winced at how I'd probably made her feel. I really needed to work on being less of a son of a bitch, "But you weren't. You got me help. I'm okay now. Thank you."

Megan nodded, as though she barely heard me. More important than my gratitude was her getting to the bottom of my attitude toward myself, "Do you, like, hate yourself?" She asked bluntly.

"What? No! I'm awesome," I exclaimed, before remembering what Hisako had said about my ego being too much sometimes, "I mean-... yeah, no. I'm awesome. I'm not sugarcoating that. I'm the best."

There was the ego. I had missed it. Not talking myself up was like holding back a sneeze. I could do it, but it hurt to. I couldn't even try to hide it anymore. I didn't want to. I was who I was. She said she wanted to get to know me. If we got any closer, I didn't want to trick her into thinking she was dating someone that she wasn't. Bellamy Marcher was a full experience, not something that could be taken halfway.

...That was not a sex joke. I was being dead serious.

I eased in next to her against the wall, "Look, Megan. I feel like I can do anything, even when I can't, I guess. And I don't know I can't do something until I try it and fail."

Even though I knew I was in over my head from the very beginning of the confrontation with Ord, the thought that I would lose or that either of us would get hurt as long as I was taking action never crossed my mind. In my mind, there was always a way to win. There was always a way to come out in one piece.

Settling was for losers. Go for broke. You couldn't reach the stars if you kept your feet on the ground. And if you shot for the stars, but missed, there was still a chance you'd wind up high in the sky somewhere.

"I didn't just come here to learn to control my powers, and I didn't come here thinking this place was safe. I came here because the idea of being a superhero excited me," I told her, "It's been hard, and dangerous, and scary, but I knew it would be when I signed up."

"I just thought we would all be older before this all started being our problem," Megan said, eyes cast to the ground, "I dunno. I thought we'd just ease into fighting villains and stuff."

I wished we could have eased into it. At this point after everything that had happened, I no longer had any illusions of that happening, "I felt the same way, right up until the Danger Room turned a trick on us. The X-Men can't protect all of us all the time, I guess."

Megan drew her eyebrows together and leaned herself more against me than the wall, putting her head on my shoulder. She smelled really good; sweet even. If were low enough on energy to fall asleep again, I probably would have. She definitely did.

I didn't bother waking her up. She was fine just where she was.

XxX

We were not alone.

When I arrived for our next team training session, there was someone else who wasn't our instructor there waiting with us.

He wore a dominantly red-colored version of the X-Men uniform, only without the legs. To be fair, the guy pulled it off, as he looked like a brick-shithouse if I ever saw one. His arms were the size of my head. He had short square-cut black hair and had one of the strongest-looking jawlines I had ever seen.

"Hi," I greeted uncertainly as I approached everyone on the field, "You must be an X-Man I've never met before. Well, I'm Bellamy. You can call me Solaris, I guess."

Nothing wrong with at least trying to be pleasant. He wasn't trying to kill us yet, which put him a notch about a good number of people that I tended to meet these days.

He didn't smile, even though it seemed like he had been trying to, "I am Peter," He said, extending his hand for me to shake. I did, and unsurprisingly he was friggin strong, "And you are the leader of Katya's squad. She told me she had students under her care."

I mouthed the name 'Katya'. My mind had quickly perceived this as a way to refer to Miss Pryde, but it took a moment to wrap my head around. Also, I had no idea who this gigantic guy was. Hisako leaned in and quickly informed me – Miss Pryde's apparent boyfriend, Piotr Rasputin, Colossus, back from the dead, "Oh! Ooh, tough luck, Wing."

"Shut up, Sol," Eddie shot back. Whether it was because I alluded to his crush on Miss Pryde out loud, or because I was rubbing in the fact that whatever nonexistent window he had to win her over was now shut, I didn't know, "We can't all have a chick fall into our laps like some people."

Now that wasn't fair. It wasn't like I did nothing. My sheer animal magnetism apparently appealed to some people, "Don't be that way, bud. Statistically, there should be someone here at this school for everyone, even you. And if not, there's a wide world out there," I offered as good-natured, backhanded advice, setting a hand on his shoulder, "Also, Megan and I ain't dating... yet, at least. I think she's still kind of pissed at me."

Hisako peeled my hand off of the guy that was actually her closest friend at the school and came to his defense, "For getting ripped open like a pinata by that Ord guy?" Peter's jaw clenched tight at the mention of Ord, but he didn't say anything. He must have been just as much of a fan as I was. No one noticed though, feeling more up to busting my chops, "Should we start calling you Señor Piñata? The guy busted you open like he was at a Mexican birthday party."

Let it be noted that Hisako was much better at trash-talking me than Eddie. But nothing was worse than when she got him going and the two of them synched up, "Nah, more like Señor Porkbelly. You got sliced open like a hog."

"Go ahead and change his codename to the Cadaver Kid. He got opened up like a corpse on an episode of CSI."

"Could've used ol' Sol here as one of those anatomically correct dummies in biology. Just put some plastic organs in him to replace the ones he woulda lost."

Only my team could make jokes about me nearly getting murdered by a genocidal alien two whole days after it had happened, "I hate you guys. I just want you to know that. If we have to spar today, I'm wearing one of the two of you out," I said before turning my attention to the quieter of our team members, "Not Ruthie though. She still loves me. And maybe Laura, because she can actually beat me one-on-one clean."

Eddie wiggled his hand in a hot-cold kind of motion, "Eh, I wouldn't call it clean, because she straight-up did you dirty."

"It was a competitive fight!" I yelled back at him, in defense of my ever-growing martial arts ability. However, just for confirmation's sake, I turned to Laura to get it straight from the source herself, "Hey, it was competitive, right?"

She shrugged, not committing to answer either way. Damn. Still no dice. Oh well. At least she was still coming to practices. I'd get her to open up one of these days. It was fun when everybody felt good about speaking their minds around each other, even if that meant that half of them spent a lot of the time cracking jokes on me.

Instead of speaking to us, Laura inquisitively turned her attention to Peter, "Mister Rasputin, do you know where Shadowcat is?" She asked, "Normally she is the very first person at our team meeting points. It is nearly time for the training session to begin."

True enough. Miss Pryde was always there before any of us, no matter how fast I changed after my last class and showed up. Once she mentioned it, we all noticed that it was weird that she wasn't around. She hadn't been injured during her last mission. I'd seen her in the tech class I had that she taught, and she'd been fine.

Peter nodded and walked up closer to us, "Katya sent me here to relay a message," He held up a little device that projected a hologram of the Institute's known layout, "She is hiding somewhere on the school grounds and you are going to find her and contain her. She will not stay in one place, though. At 4 o'clock you begin. You will have two hours before the exercise is called off."

"And I'm guessing Sol can't just shoot her when we find her."

Ruth turned her head toward me, the best she could do to 'look' at me, and shook her head, "No, pardon. She would not recommend it. Detention and after school work would, yes, definitely make Bellamy more vulnerable."

Okay, so I was sure Ruth meant that if I got detention, and-or had to do something after school to clean up whatever mess came with me using my powers, I would probably almost die again. Good to know, "I'm pretty sure I wouldn't hit her anyway," I commented, "...But, the school could use a few more gaping holes in the walls though. I think it'd really let the place breathe, you know?"

Eddie chuckled and threw a friendly arm around my shoulder, pointing off at the main school building, "Put one in the hall. West wing, third floor. I'd enjoy the view since I have to go that way three times every day," He said, making his pitch for anarchy, "We can probably lure Miss Pryde there so you have an excuse to take the shot," He offered up the 'too sweet'.

"Don't you dare," Hisako warned, seeing my hand start to make the reciprocating gesture, "We don't have long before this starts. I'd like to have a plan together before the clock actually starts running,"

Eddie lowered his hand from the 'too sweet' to stroke his chin in thought, "Well it's a big game of hide-and-seek against someone who can move through walls," He observed, "Isn't that kind of unfair against us?"

I rolled my eyes a pointed at the two invaluable resources we had in-house – Ruth and Laura, "We have a telepath and Wolverine's clone with all of his powers. I think we'll be fine," We'd do well enough to put up a fuss, and as long as we could do that, there was no reason we couldn't pass, "Besides, I have an idea."

XxX

I split the squad up as part of my approach. Eddie was our eye in the sky. If Miss Pryde made it outside somewhere, it was up to him to keep tabs on where she was going from above. Ruth would try to keep track of her through her thoughts and convey it to the rest of it. Hisako, Laura, and I would serve as the sweepers who would actually go after her.

Hopefully, we would only have to pounce on her once, because every other time we would go after her from that point onward wouldn't be as organized. That was just the nature of things like this. We would use it as a general template for a strategy for how we would attack.

I slipped into the room next to the one Miss Pryde was situated in. Laura took the one on the other side. Hisako would approach through the front door and do what she could from there. If/when Miss Pryde made a break for it, it was up to either of us to cut her off.

We were so not ready. I had already dealt with Danger Room Miss Pryde, kind of, so I should have had a better idea of what we were getting ourselves into.

I heard a ruckus coming from next door and backed off from the wall to stand at the ready, just in case she came my way. She did, of course, very quickly. She went right past me and through the wall on the other side of the room, so I took off down the hall after her, "My way! She went my way!" I yelled, trying to get everyone heading the right way.

I was faster. Every time I passed a doorway, I saw Miss Pryde running past as well from the inside of the room. I sped up a bit more and turned into the last room at the end of the hall, set to cut her off at the pass. As she sprinted through the wall in front of me, I saw the surprise in her eyes right before she ran clear through me.

What a weird feeling. I didn't like it at all. Not just because of how it felt, but because of what it meant.

"Fuck!" I shouted, turning around to see her jump through a wall leading outside. I ran to the window and threw it open to take a few shots as she retreated. None of them hit, of course. Intangibility and all that. Laura and Hisako made it into the room right afterward, and I gave out immediately, "How are we supposed to corner her? She can run through the corners!"

Hisako was slightly out of breath from sprinting all out for about a minute, but it wasn't anything that a 30 second breather couldn't fix, "There has to be a way we can stop her. We have to catch her off-guard or something."

This was a full-blown superhero that had been dealing with ambushes and other surprise attacks for a good chunk of her life. Something told me it wasn't going to be that simple, "Yeah, good luck with that. Stealth isn't exactly any of our strong suits here," At that point, Laura edged her way into the conversation. I was beginning to pick up on her nuances, as to what she said and didn't say, "What, you? You're telling me you can sneak up on her?"

Laura was difficult, but if you watched her closely enough you could figure a few things out. She wanted our attention in regards to the subject we were talking about, but if we didn't ask her directly she wouldn't say it out loud, as though we would take it as her speaking out of turn. It happened a lot, I had noticed, in the short time she had been on our team.

She wasn't exactly talkative, but our girl definitely wasn't a mute. She picked her spots, and when she chimed in, it meant something, "I think so. If she does not phase herself for another reason, I believe I can."

"Okay..." I said, licking my dry lips as I tried to come up with a new approach. We only had so much time to find her again and come up with a good plan, "We'll go with that. I'll make sure you get an opening. If that doesn't work this time, we should start wearing her out."

Hisako liked the idea of a sub-strategy, "Sounds good to me. How?"

Everyone had a weakness, even if it was a hard one to exploit, "She has to hold her breath to go through solid objects," I said, "You think she can keep that up longer than we can keep coming at her?"

Breathing during high-intensity activities was difficult. It was a key to stamina, being able to keep from sucking wind and slowing down. Tiring her out was definitely a strategy that we could use, especially if she was just going to run from us and not try to take us out.

"Let's walk and talk, guys," I said, leading everyone out of the building, thinking with as much intent as I could to project to my dear telepath, 'Blindfold, Wing? You guys got a location for us?'

XxX

One of the first things someone needs to understand when it comes to leading is delegation. Even if you are the leader, you aren't going to be well-equipped for everything. That's not what a leader is. A leader is meant to figure out who's best for what job and put them in the best position possible to succeed.

For instance, in practical application, I had next to nothing for Miss Pryde. There. I said it. I couldn't hit her, because I wasn't wily enough at the time to come up with a way to do it, so I was basically impotent against her. That's a word I hope I'll never use again.

I couldn't hit her, but there was someone on my team who assured me that she could. I would have been a fool to ignore that. A kind of arrogant that went beyond the ego trips that I routinely enjoyed.

So I pulled back. I never did that. It was strange having an extra frontline specialist. It had always been me and Hisako, and we weren't as good in direct combat as Laura was.

I learned something that day. I never wanted to fight her for real.

The way she moved in a fight, she might have been Mister Logan's clone, but she didn't fight anything like him. It was like a chainsaw versus a wood chipper. Mister Logan was more measured in his attacks. He wouldn't overextend, but he would keep coming at you until he found an opening.

Laura didn't need to worry about that. Whatever side she came at you on, the girl would cut you up from all over. She was so nimble that one missed blow could turn into another just like that, and she was so flexible, that blow could come from anywhere if you were too close to keep sight of all of her.

Fighting against her was one thing. It gave you a certain perspective of what she was like. Watching it was another experience entirely. Eddie managed to track Miss Pryde to the hangar underneath the mansion. Laura hadn't exactly managed to get the drop on her, but she caught her off-guard and she never let up.

Eddie had the best view of any of us once the fighting had started, so I asked Ruth to project what he was seeing to Hisako and I. It was quite the sight, and I had to imagine if it was anything close to what they saw when Laura had fought me.

Eddie's thoughts filtered through the open link we were all sharing, "Sol, I think you need to be grateful that she couldn't use her claws in that spar with you."

Oh, I was. Even with her claws, including claws that came out of her FEET, she still attacked with the intent to make contact with that limb. That way, even if she missed, unless you were a foot away, you were going to get slashed.

"Just remember, everything you mess up or destroy, you have to clean up or fix later!" Miss Pryde chimed in from the hangar floor as she weaved herself around Laura's onslaught. I say onslaught because that was what it was. It reminded me of those Karate Fighters toys from the 90s.

It was during this time that I noticed something very interesting, and very important, "...I think I can take a shot," I thought aloud out of the blue. My friends thought I was nuts.

"What?" Eddie's response summed up in one word.

Hisako was wordier in her rebuke of my spur of the moment idea, "You've missed every shot you've ever taken at Miss Pryde. What makes you think this time will be any different?" She asked, and not without good reason. Armor had a point. Anytime she had done these little practical exercises, we never made any sort of contact with her, "She's in a fight right now. She's gonna phase through it whether she sees it or not."

Normally, I would have been right there with her. But my gut was telling me there was a chance."No she won't. Blindfold?"

"Yes, Solaris?" Ruth's pleasant, calming voice rang out in my head.

"Tell me when she's solid, exactly when she does it," I told her, setting up in hiding behind a stack of supply crates. I stuck my arm between them, taking aim with my fist. I had a pretty good view. It was important that I didn't move, otherwise my target would know I was there and everything would be The moment would come.

I laid in wait... and waited. Miss Pryde and Laura kept fighting, and I waited. Time ticked down... and I waited.

"Now, please."

I took my shot. One shot. It hit her, she fell. Laura pounced, Miss Pryde phased after being covered. I rolled my eyes, "You know, that would have been a head shot if you weren't my advisor!" I yelled from my hiding place.

Seriously, if what had just happened didn't count as subduing her, there was no way we were passing this test.

Miss Pryde sighed and stood up properly, safely away from Laura, "Alright, alright. That's it then. Good job. You finished with-," She stopped to check her watch, "-Wow. Twenty-eight minutes left. Way to go."

The rest of the team made their way inside of the hangar while Miss Pryde gathered herself. She was more than tired, and I knew it. It was the reason all of this had happened to begin with.

"Yeah~!" Eddie nearly danced as he landed and shuffled over to everyone else, "I've gotta say, after watching you guys botch the first try, I wasn't really sure we could pull this off!"

Hisako leaned on Ruth and spared Eddie the dullest look she could muster, "Wow. Thanks for believing in us so much."

Maybe my stealth abilities were better than I thought, because I was able to get behind Laura and pick her up in a gigantic hug, "You! Are! Pure! Money!" I said, bouncing her once with every word, right up until she elbowed me in the gut, "Oof!"

"Too close, Bel," Hisako said, grinning as I stepped back, doubled over, "Don't think you can get all touchy and feely with her. The only girl on this team with any kind of soft spot for you is Ruth."

Fair enough. I got a little too excited and had to celebrate with someone. I had clearly picked the wrong someone, "That's cool. Lesson learned," I wheezed, taking a seat on an empty fuel barrel to get my wind back, "Never make the same mistake twice."

Laura at least apologized, "I'm sorry, Solaris. I do not like being touched," She didn't have to. I was being presumptuous. It happened sometimes, with varying results. That came with the territory.

Miss Pryde peered over at Laura, more specifically, her hands which housed deadly-deadly Adamantium claws within, "Damned metal. Which one of you knew?" Everyone looked confused except for me. I probably looked like a smug asshole, because Miss Pryde noticed, "How'd you know?"

I got my wind back and got on my explanation horse, "I didn't think of it until Laura attacked you and you went through her claws. You kept solid on purpose and just kept running away whenever you could," There was a lot more movement from her that would have been unnecessary if she had just been going intangible, "Every time you phased through her, it seemed like you were getting worse."

"-And like a good little sniper, you laid in wait," Miss Pryde finished, knowing how the rest of the tale would go, "Not bad. And I don't think you ruined that much trying to get to me either."

There was plenty of time for pride. Why not? We'd pulled it off, "I have an awesome team," I crowed with no shame whatsoever, picking Ruth up piggyback. She was much more receptive than the last person I'd tried contact with, "Laura kept you off your game, and Ruthie cued me exactly when to take the shot. If I'm a sniper, she was my spotter," I didn't see it, but I could swear she made finger guns from my back. I loved that girl.

Miss Pryde laughed and gave us a few claps for all of our trouble, "Well done for the first team exercise since getting a new member. It looks like with some more time, Laura will fit in with the Paladins just fine."

XxX

I didn't know where Laura stayed, or what she did for fun. But I did know that eventually, she would need to eat, especially after working out as hard as we all did during our squad training.

I staked out in the cafeteria until I saw her slink in, go through the line and pick up everything she'd planned on eating before sitting down by herself near the back wall. As I started walking over I saw her look at her tray in confusion before growling in annoyance.

She had neglected to get something while going through the line and having to interact with several people, moving amongst so many others, and she didn't look forward to having to do it again.

Fortunately, I picked up that thing she had forgotten and brought it over. She noticed me before I got very close. Her eyes got so wide that someone was approaching her out of the blue that it was almost funny.

I threw my head upwards in greeting, "Hey. Forget your drink?" I tossed over a bottle of juice for Laura to catch. She stared down at it like a foreign object. As she did, I took a seat next to her. She scooted away a bit. I acted like I didn't notice, "You are really hard to find. I just wanted to say, you were outstanding today."

It could not be stressed enough. I had a goddamn ringer on my side. But for as comfortable as she seemed in a fight, she was uncomfortable with everything else that came with being at school.

"Thank you," Laura mumbled, rolling the bottle back and forth in her hands, "You appeared to be in good condition during the exercise. I was worried that you had not recovered, but your performance didn't seem to show any lingering injuries."

I patted the spot on my belly that had been sliced open not too long ago, "Apparently, as long as I have enough energy, I heal really fast when I get hurt bad enough and black out. It ain't as good as yours probably is, but it helped save my butt this time."

"That is good. I would not make a habit of relying on such an ability if I were you," I could only imagine how many times she'd had to use her healing ability in her life to survive things that would have easily killed or permanently handicapped anyone else.

No kidding. I could do without the unwanted part of that whole setup, "I've had to use it three times so far. I don't really like losing a whole day just because I took a beatdown," That was enough about that though. My recovery progress wasn't important, "Hey, this isn't about me. It's about you. Did you think about what I said the other day?"

I didn't want to put her on the spot. I just wanted to have a conversation. Get her to loosen up a bit. It was one thing to be quiet. It was another thing altogether to be so defensive and timid, like she was afraid of herself. It was such a stressful way to live.

Lo and behold, she actually did have something to say to me, "Why does Logan call you 'Glowstick'?" She asked.

I was confused, "Huh?" What did that have to do with anything?

Laura nodded, "'Glowstick'. Every time he references you in any way, that is what he calls you. Even when you are not there."

I raised an eyebrow, "He talks about me when I'm not there?" I didn't think he gave that much of a care about me. I was just the kid he took some time to beat up when he was bored and there was no beer around, "I thought he thought I was annoying."

Laura shrugged and started to dig into her meal a bit, not letting me know if I was right or wrong, "You came up because I talked to him about the things you spoke to me about," Ah. She must have trusted him much more than me. Fair enough. I was some guy she got saddled with working alongside. At least they had the whole shared DNA thing going on, "He said many things about you personally."

"Really? Like what?"

Laura finished chewing before she bluntly began to list every trait Logan gave her about me that she could remember, "He said that you were cocky, competitive, loudmouthed-."

None of these seemed good at all, "Oh," I said, dejected. And here I thought Mister Logan might have actually liked me.

She had more to say, however. The next part, not so bad, "-He also told me to trust you, and to give all of this a chance," She wrapped her arms around herself and frowned, "He said that you would do your best not to let me down. I do not know what that means."

I looked out at the open space of the cafeteria before I tried to interpret what the gruff old bastard had been trying to convey to her, "I think he wants you to lean on me a bit. Not literally," I specified when I saw her face twist in more confusion, "I mean, this place is a little much to take all by yourself. You tried once before right? Didn't like it?" Laura weakly said 'yes', "Why?"

"For many, many reasons," She said, and that was all she planned on giving me, not that I didn't know the gist of her previous hang-ups in the first place.

I didn't have to know how to read her to figure out what one of the bigger issues had been, "I'm guessing one of those reasons was that it never really felt comfortable to be here. No one was really around to help you with getting used to everything."

Humans were social creatures... and mutants were too. It was amazing the kind of situations that you could adjust to, as long as you had people around willing to go through it with you and make the process easier.

I felt bad thinking about it. I wasn't at the school for long at all before Ruth's little know-it-all self wound up coming to me. There wasn't much of an awkward period with me fumbling around, getting my bearings because I'd met my core friends almost right off the bat. Even if I hadn't, I probably would have made something happen myself eventually.

Laura on the other hand, she came in with no support system other than Mister Logan, who wasn't always around. He was busy with his own stuff. Between work with the Avengers, X-Men stuff, and his own personal crap, he had his hands full to begin with. That aside, he definitely wasn't someone that could help her get situated to begin with. She was basically by herself, which would have been hard enough even if she hadn't been socially stunted.

The poor thing never had a chance. I was going to make sure that never happened again, and everyone on the Paladins would be more than willing to help. They already liked her. I was trying to work on being less of an asshole. This sort of thing seemed like it would be a decent start.

Laura's green eyes looked down as she fidgeted with her hands, "I am... used to being told what to do. I have taken orders for all of my life. I feel that, left to my own devices, I am prone to making bad decisions."

What kind of bad decisions did she mean? She sounded so grave.

"Welcome to being a teenager, or so I'm told," I joked to try and lighten the mood a bit. I didn't get so much as a smile. I don't think I'd seen her smile once by that point, "The fact that you're worried about that means you have judgment which is good. You're clearly smart, which is also good. Because I'm going to say and do some asinine things from time-to-time, and if you had any sense at all, you would check me on it."

"I will keep that in mind, Bellamy."

"Good!" I said brightly, leaning back in my chair as I watched her eat, "If I'm messing up, or if I'm doing something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. I want everyone on my team to love being on my team. I want all of you to enjoy being here, okay?"

"Okay."

And so I just started talking to her, telling her things about the school that I knew and the particular students and teachers that I figured she may or may not run into. I told her things about our team, so she would know them a bit better before she saw them again, and maybe want to find out more about them on her own.

It didn't strike me that I might have been talking too much until I started asking her things about how she was doing. She would give me one or two word answers, and I would go off on a tangent of some sort. I eventually caught myself.

"Oops. Sorry," I said, getting her to look directly at me for the first time in almost five minutes. Before then, it seemed like she was periodically sizing up everyone in the room and where they were situated, "I've been talking your ear off this whole time you've been eating."

"I do not mind," She assured me, "When there is silence I feel... paranoia. As if everyone is watching me. I am not used to company, and I am not much for conversation, but I find it calming listening to others talk."

"Just not to you?" I drawled jokingly. Laura looked down at her tray self-consciously, and I waved the whole thing off, "It's cool. I have a different problem. When I'm nervous or mad about something, I can't shut up."

"Is this the sort of thing you need help working on?" Laura asked me. Was that an olive branch being extended, or just an observational query?

I shook my head, "No, I don't mind it that much, even if others do," It wasn't as if I disliked that part about myself. I liked it, even if others didn't, "If I'm still talking, that means I'm still alive. And if I'm still alive, then things can't be that bad, can they?"

Everyone had their quirks and everyone had their coping mechanisms. This was mine, and I was glad I found it so early, because things had not been easy since I'd started at Xavier's. Things probably weren't going to get any easier, but for now, it was nice.

Eventually, she finished up and noticed that I hadn't had a bite since I'd sat down with her and started talking. Meanwhile, she'd had her dinner while I'd just sat back and taken a few sips of drink, "Are you not hungry?"

I shrugged and pointed to the clock on the wall, "I already ate. You really don't know how long I was waiting here for you. But I've bothered you for long enough. I'll get out of your hair now."

"I will see you tomorrow."

"Hey, before I go, give me your hand real quick," I started to reach for her, before I remembered the last time I grabbed for her without getting her permission first and stopped. Last time I caught a well-placed elbow, "...Uh, if that's okay with you, that is."

Laura put her hand in mine and watched patiently as I put up her pinky and index finger and curved the rest of her fingers together, "What is this?"

I would never get tired of giving the explanation behind it, "This is the Paladins' team thing. If you're close enough when one of us does this, you do it too and you touch 'em together. Hisako thinks it's dumb. I still get her to do it," In order to shut me up, but the point remained that she still did it.

Laura stared at her own hand and practiced making the symbol a few times before letting her hand drop back in her lap. For someone so dangerous, she really wasn't so scary. Unless you were fighting her. Then she was absolutely terrifying.

"I have one request," She said, stopping me as I got up to leave, "Please, be patient with me. I am... not good with people."

I looked around suspiciously before leaning in and whispering to her, "I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm not really either. We'll both work on it."

"Okay," Laura said, and she sounded like she meant it.

I grinned like a moron, "I know I said it before, but I'm really happy you're on the Paladins. Now 'too sweet' me," I asked, lifting up the hand sign. She hesitated for a moment before reciprocating, "There we go."

A journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

Ahhhhh... I don't think I have anything to update anyone on today, so I'll just let you all go without reading too much of my mental ramblings. I hope you all enjoyed.

Kenchi out.