"Tomorrow's the big day, isn't it?"
Ben Lydman glanced briefly from his notepad at his robe clad wife, sitting on the edge of their bed, a singular tear streaming down her cheek.
"Don't cry, Ameile." He smiled softly, putting down the pencil and paper and patting the spot next to him for her to sit. She wiped her face, and crawled across the bed sheepishly, placing her head over his heart, and listening to it like she had when they were first married.
"I promise you, Anti-Titan artillery has advanced rapidly over the last year, and there are at least two hundred ships in the harbor waiting. There's no way they'll get through us, no matter what."
"But you're still sending us away in the morning," Ameile sniffed, burying her seeping eyes in his chest, continuing her sobbing with a muffled voice. "I know it's for our protection, but I don't know how strong I can be for the boys without you by my side—"
Ben knew his resilient wife would move heaven and earth for their two sons, just like he would move heaven and earth for her tomorrow when he reported for duty at the harbor to stop the approaching Colossals.
She had always been so strong willed, that had been one of the reasons he'd chosen her as his wife. He needed a strong woman at his side to be his helpmate, and that was always what she'd done, and would continue to do as he went off to fight.
Patting her head, he began running his fingers through her hair, noticing a few greying strands pass through his fingers. His wife was still beautiful, at least as much as the day he married her, if not more so. Her weathered hands and smile lines had never bothered him, he considered them a treasure, a proof that she was real, and she was his.
He smiled sadly, hoping for a moment this wasn't the last time he would hold her in his arms, before he shook the thought away, willing his pessimism to subside.
"You will do wonderfully. I know you and the boys will be fine." He sighed, kissing her head lightly before continuing. "And you'll take a letter for my parents on the train with you, right?" He glanced at the notepad he had set beside him, reading a few of the scribbled phrases and desperately hoping his elderly mother would never have to read them. "I'm only writing it in case something happens. If all goes well, you won't even have to give it to her."
"If something happens why give them a letter?" Ameile lifted her grieved face up to look at her husband. "Why not enjoy a few hours of bliss before we die? The farm is only a hundred miles south of the port. It won't take long for Eren Yeager and his Rumbling to get to us as well."
"Because, if something were to happen, it would be because I sacrificed myself to stop that Eldian bastard, and I want to depart from this world with a farewell to those I care about the most." Ben tipped her chin in the direction of the nightstand beside their bed, where three other letters were neatly stacked next to his military uniform. "I wrote one for you as well, beloved. And also, one for both Neil and Ryck."
His wife sighed, pulling away from his embrace and closing her gold flecked eyes. "Neil talked about stowing away with you on the ship last night," she whispered, clenching her small fist at her side. "He wanted to fight with you."
"Neil is seventeen. If he chooses to be a soldier, his time will come around next year."
"He almost talked Ryck into going with him!" Ameile shook her head. "Both those boys are so reckless; I won't know how to keep them in line without—"
"They get it from us, my love." Ben interrupted, picking up the notepad once again and resuming his prospective eulogy. "All I ask is you go to the countryside for the week. I am sure that the fleet will take care of the Titans, and we can resume life as normal afterwards."
Setting his pencil down momentarily, he met his wife's eyes with a grave expression.
"You promise me you'll return once the week is over?"
The woman stood, throwing up her hands and crossing their bedroom in exasperation. "Why wouldn't I come back? I don't even want to leave—"
"Ameile, you remember twenty years ago when you always threatened that you just wouldn't be home one day when I got back?"
"Oh, please, that was just a silly joke for when you forgot to bring the laundry in or something!"
"Well, it always terrified me." Ben chuckled, returning to his letter with a boyish glint in his eyes. "I remember telling my Navy buddies that I was going to need to learn how to cook, because my wife might not be home when we came into port."
Slamming one of the drawers on her dresser shut, Ameile tossed one of her blouses into a suitcase before putting her hands on her hips and glaring at her husband. "You knew I always was going to be home when you got back though, right?"
"Not always," The soldier scoffed. "There were a few times I was sure I was going to be a single man at the end of my shift."
"Hmm." The woman turned to pilfer through the drawers on her vanity, checking her complexion a few times as she gathered her essential items for the journey. "Well, I stayed, old man, I hope you're still happy." She muttered as she stared at her reflection, touching the light wrinkles on her cheeks before continuing. "Because now all I want to do is stay!"
"Well, if you promise to come back, then we'll be even," He conceded, wiping a smudge of graphite from the paper with one of his sea-calloused fingers. "Because I've never wanted you to leave, especially now."
"You're such a charmer." She whined, running a comb through her hair before putting it in a pouch with all her other cosmetics. "It makes me sick sometimes."
"Glad I could help, my lovely." He smiled. "Now, promise me you'll be here when I return, like you were all those other times."
Ameile shook her head once again clutching the pouch to her chest. "You know I will, Ben." She furrowed her brows, moving to sit on the edge of their bed, she reached to put her hand on his leg, eyes pleading. "But only if you deal with this Eren Yaeger once and for all, so we never have to worry about this ever again."
"I'm a soldier, always have been." He said, stoically gazing into her beautiful face, his jaw setting as he made his vow. "I know war, and that's what Eren's asked for. I promise I'll make that devil pay for what he's done to us, and I'll put your mind at ease."
"You mean it?"
"Of course, I promise, this is the last you will ever have to worry about the accursed Paradis Island!"
"Good." Ameile nodded, her mind at rest. "Then I can go in peace, and I will tell the boys their father is a hero of Marley."
Ben's heart swelled as his wife turned, packing her suitcase once again.
For a moment, he thought about disposing of his letters. He'd made a promise, one that he intended to keep, that he would give his life his very breath to make sure that this Yaeger devil wouldn't harm his family. He shouldn't need these farewells if he truly was going to keep his promise to his wife.
Ben looked at the candle at his bedside, imagining the letters to his wife, his sons, going up in clouds of smoke.
But he had to be realistic. If the Navy had taught him anything, it had taught him that victory never with the strongest of whims, but the soundest of minds. As angry as it made him, Ben would acknowledge the Eldian as the formidable opponent that he was and would take the precautions he considered necessary, even if that meant preparing to say goodbye.
He cursed the man under his breath, adding the final touches to his parent's letter and signing his name.
'Eren Yaeger,' The Marleyan soldier grit his teeth. 'You'll pay for attacking my home and my family.'
"Finished?" Ameile cocked an eyebrow at her husband, folding one of her favorite skirts and placing it on her dresser for the train ride in the morning.
"Yes," Ben said, folding the parchment and stacking it with the other letters on the night table.
"You won't need it anyways; I still don't know why you wasted the time to write those silly things."
"You have always been as right as you have been beautiful," he smiled, as his wife blushed, still as girlish and bashful as she had been when they were newlyweds.
"You watch yourself, Benjamin. If that backfires on you, you're in trouble in more ways than one."
He blew out the candle, bathing their bedroom in darkness as he got in his last word before kissing his wife.
"I fear your wrath more than I fear any Eldian."
Dearest Ameile,
I hope you know my heart has always been with you, and now, my spirit goes with you as well. You are the light of my life, the mother of my children, and the partner of my soul. I could have never dreamed of a more perfect woman to have spent my life with.
On my first tour of duty after we got married. As the bullets whizzed past my face for the first real time, meeting their end in the flesh of some of my comrades, I remember the terror I felt. This fear was not because I was scared of death, I would have never chosen to serve my country if I worried about dying. I have always worried about leaving you behind more than anything, and in that moment, I remember shutting my eyes, turning my fear into passion, a drive to fight with every fiber of my being, to return to you, and to give you the life that you deserved, with me in it.
Unfortunately, if you are reading this, I will no longer share in the life that we've had together for so long, but I am writing this with the best intention that I have sacrificed for a purpose, and have not suffered in vain, because I refuse to do anything else, my love.
I ask that you remain strong, as you always have, for yourself, and for our sons. I ask that you provide for them, as you always have, and as I wish I could continue doing. I ask that you enable the both of them to discover the joy that we have had together, with partners of their own. I trust that you will do a good job of that. I will be watching you every step of the way.
I promise you, Ameile, that my life was given for a purpose. I promise that I died for the sake of our sons, for the sake of your safety, and for the honor of our great Empire of Marley, whom I have always served with the dignity and pride that every soldier carries within their hearts.
I promise you will not be blotted from this earth by the likes of a devil or be trampled by one of Ymir's puppet monsters.
In the end, love, it was your face I saw, and I will be waiting for you a moment longer, in the clouds, until you join me in our blissful eternity.
With the Greatest Affection,
Your Husband, Benjamin Lydman