a/n: I apologize for any typos that might be in this chapter. STRAP IN!
SONG OF THE WEST
an Inuyasha fanfic
xxxiv.
Sesshōmaru's voice was full of honey.
This revelation would be odd if spoken aloud, but in Rin's mind, it made perfect sense. She found the way he spoke smooth and elegant, slightly unhurried and wholly comforting. Perhaps that was why she heard him in her dreams so much, his rich voice unbodied from his handsome form.
"Rin." Sesshōmaru's voice wafted from somewhere above her. The scent of mint followed closely behind.
This again! Rin thought to herself, rolling away from Sesshōmaru's voice. She refused to replicate the events of yesterday morning.
"Rin," Sesshōmaru's voice repeated, this time closer and louder. A large, warm hand reached to push wild pieces of hair from her forehead and cheeks.
Rin drowsily opened her eyes. Sesshōmaru's face was hovering above her. His glossy white hair hung down like leaves from a willow tree. She reached to tug gently on it, earning a blank look from Sesshōmaru in return.
"Is this another dream?" Rin asked, her hand still gripping his hair.
Sesshōmaru grasped her small hand with his. "No."
Rin's brows furrowed. "… It feels like one."
Sesshōmaru huffed in slight amusement.
"I'm going to the river," he announced, standing.
Rin sat up on her futon and rubbed her eyes. He had just been there yesterday. He had never returned so soon.
"Can I come with you?" she asked softly.
Sesshōmaru glanced at her as if the answer to her question was obvious.
Soon, the two were riding through the woods on their horses in utter silence. It was rather early in the morning. The dew was fresh on the ground, and the birds hadn't quite begun their morning song.
Rin was used to the silence. Whenever she wasn't singing or asking questions or commenting on the beauty of the scenery about them, the two often sat in a comfortable, easy silence that anyone else might have found boring. Rin did not find it boring. She merely enjoyed Sesshōmaru's presence, and he enjoyed hers, and the two were fine like that.
Now, she still enjoyed Sesshōmaru's presence, but she found the silence more disconcerting than anything else. She did not want him to feel as if she were avoiding him unnecessarily, but she felt that anything she said now might annoy him or make her sound stupid.
For example, when they had first set out, Rin had asked Sesshōmaru a simple question to make small talk.
"Lord Sesshōmaru," she started, "what did you do at the lake yesterday?"
There was a long pause.
"I took a bath," Sesshōmaru said monotonously, stating what should've been obvious. It was too cold for fishing or hunting now. And though it was technically too cold to bathe as well, it was just about the only other thing one could do at the lake.
"Oh!" Rin exclaimed, slightly embarrassed. Then she had remained silent, at least until they were closer to the lake, and Sesshōmaru asked her a question.
"When we return to the West," Sesshōmaru started, "what will you do?"
"I thought you said I would stay with you and Lord Tōga?" Rin asked.
"You will."
"Then I'll stay forever!" Rin said cheerfully. "Or at least until you both get tired of me."
Sesshōmaru huffed. That was unlikely to happen.
He tried another question. "What do you wish for in life?"
Rin paused. The question seemed sudden and random. At the festival in Yobetsu, she had wished for family, but she knew hers would never return to her. Other than that, she could not think of much. Perhaps she had grand dreams at one point, a long time ago. If she did, she had long forgotten them.
Then again, though she had abandoned her life as a village prostitute, between espionage and explosions and warfare, she hadn't exactly been granted the chance to be a normal young woman since she had met Lord Sesshōmaru and Lord Tōga. This was not the fault of her guardians, but she thought it might be nice in the future to simply exist as everyone else did.
"Peace, I guess," Rin said simply.
Peace. Sesshōmaru thought that was certainly something he could provide.
When they reached the river, the water was so still that Rin could see her reflection. The wispy fog was beginning to dissipate.
"I'm taking a bath!" she called out to her companion.
Sesshōmaru's brow rose. "The water is cold."
Rin's eyes gleamed puckishly. "The water was cold yesterday, too."
Sesshōmaru huffed and turned away, their horses trailing behind him.
Rin placed one bare foot in the water before jolting it out again. Sesshōmaru was right: the water was freezing. Yet the weather was the same as yesterday. Rin couldn't imagine how he had borne the water's chill the day before. Then again, he could have simply lied to her about taking a bath, just as she had attempted to lie to him about Kagura. But Sesshōmaru wouldn't really lie to her, would he?
Rin felt her heart fall slightly, as if weighed down by guilt. What if she had lost Sesshōmaru's trust for good? And what of Kagura? Though it seemed like Sesshōmaru had made no moves regarding that matter, he was bound to eventually.
Rin shook her head and stripped away the haori Sesshōmaru had given her, along with her shitagi and kobakama and sarashi, until nothing remained but the golden whistle about her neck and she was completely exposed to the winter chill. The still water pricked at her like needles as she eased herself lake.
She supposed she had changed some. Her legs and arms were far less bony, and the sallowness of her skin had disappeared. But some things, such as the scarring on her body or horrific memories, remained the same.
There were some fresh scars, too, like the one from the Northern tribesman's arrow at her ankle. That had healed better than expected, all thanks to Sesshōmaru's careful attention. Though she had found being confined to that hut all day annoying, Rin recalled with fondness the gentle manner with which Sesshōmaru's skillful fingers had handled her foot each time he changed her bandages or applied more medication…
Rin frowned and covered her eyes with her cold hands. She needed to think about something else, something that wasn't Sesshōmaru. When she was young and accompanied her father on his boat, there was a song the fishermen would sing to pass the time.
"Soran, soran, soran," Rin whispered to herself.
"When we hear the jabbering of the seagulls on the high seas,
We know we can't give up our fishing lives on the ocean."
She remembered more than she thought she would. The song happily distracted her through the rest of her bath, into her re-donning her clothing, and her short walk to back to Sesshōmaru and the horses.
"Soran, soran.
A flighty seagull twitters in excitement
As it sees my bare skin, glistening with ocean surf."
As she sang this last verse, she could see Sesshōmaru sitting on one of the smooth boulders near the riverbank, sharpening his tantō. Unlike the day prior, he was dry and fully clothed. Rin pursed her lips. There she was poring over every small touch or act of kindness he had given her, while he remained as imperturbable as a porcelain effigy.
Rin climbed upon the boulder to sit behind him. Despite not immediately acknowledging her, he doubtless knew she was there. Now that she was close, she could see that there was still some slight tension lingering in his muscular form.
The first time he had brought her there, they had spoken to each other and caught oysters, and she had braided his hair, and he had caressed her face. For whatever reason, Sesshōmaru had been fond of doing that.
Things had been so clear back then, felt so easy. But somehow, things had changed. It was as if there was now some invisible barrier that had closed them off from each other. She could not recall when it started, nor could she recall the last time she had so much as given him an embrace.
Rin squeezed her eyes shut and allowed her lithe arms to wrap about Sesshōmaru's broad shoulders and chest. He stiffened in her grasp.
"You are freezing," Sesshōmaru said, laying one large hand where her smaller ones met in front of his chest.
"Are you angry at me, my Lord?" Rin asked softly.
Sesshōmaru paused. "Rin—"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the woman in the woods," Rin continued. "And I'm sorry I tried to lie to you about it."
"Rin," Sesshōmaru repeated himself more firmly to get her attention. "I was never angry at you."
Rin opened her eyes and frowned. "Then why do things feel so different?"
More silence. Rin could hear the gentle call of a bird in the distance.
"'Different'?" The young Lord repeated.
Rin swallowed hard. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest.
Sesshōmaru removed himself from her grasp and turned to face her. Instinctually, Rin cast her gaze downwards to avoid meeting his eye.
"Rin," Sesshōmaru called out. Though he was still close to her, he somehow sounded as if he were far away.
All this time, he had hunted for her, cooked for her, cleaned up after her, and with each day that went by, she had allowed herself to depend on him more and more. But how long would that last?
Rin gasped as she felt herself being pulled off the boulder. Lost in her own thoughts, she failed to notice that Sesshōmaru had stood. At his full height, he towered over her. She had never felt so small in her life.
Hesitantly, Rin glanced upward to meet his gaze again. His eyes were as bright as usual, and simple to get lost within. But something was different this time. In his golden eyes, Rin thought she spotted the unmistakable glint of longing. Not an animalistic lust like the men of her old village, but something gentler. She almost did not recognize it.
Rin shivered, but she could not tell if it was from fear or some strange excitement. She did not understand this. Could someone be simultaneously frightened and excited?
"You need warmth," Sesshōmaru said, his voice a low whisper. "We'll leave."
Rin nodded wordlessly. Yes. Perhaps that was for the best.
They rode back to the camp in utter silence.
Sesshōmaru knew this was a bad sign. He had no grand plan for their outing today, which was simply a way for her to visit a favored spot one last time before the water became too cold and the snow fell. He certainly hadn't expected her needless apology.
Nor did he expect her to seem so mournful or frightened towards the end. Something had changed between them over the past few months, a change he knew was more on his end than hers. He thought he hid this well; however, judging by the way she now lagged rather than ride beside him and strived to avoid looking at him, she had figured something out.
He needed to speak with her. If he could only discover what she knew, and explain himself, perhaps that would make things better.
The camp was much more awake when they arrived. A soldier approached to retrieve their horses. As soon as Rin dismounted, she flitted inside their tent. Sesshōmaru followed her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing's wrong, my Lord!" Rin answered with an affected cheerfulness. She stood with her back facing him as she removed the haori he had given her. "I'm just a bit tired."
Sesshōmaru crossed the room so that he could stand close to her. Her hair smelled of freshwater. When he reached out to touch it, she turned and took half a step away from him.
"I should probably get my hair cut again soon," she said, attempting to change the subject.
Sesshōmaru frowned. He could see that she was carefully trying to avoid looking at his face.
He placed one hand under her chin to tilt her face upwards towards his. Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly.
"Rin—"
"The commander wishes to see you at honjin, general!" A courier's voice declared from outside.
Rin released a stunted breath. Sesshōmaru's' expression changed to one of visible annoyance.
"Tell him to wait," Sesshōmaru said rudely.
The courier hesitated. "The commander said it's urgent, general."
His father's poor timing was the one thing that constantly amazed him.
"Bring my horse," Sesshōmaru said, allowing his hand to fall from Rin's chin. Then, turning his attention back to her, he simply said: "Rest."
Rin nodded and flitted behind the dressing screen like a little bird.
The commander's tent was slightly larger than the commander's tent, outfitted to hold a greater number of officials in the event of an emergency meeting. It was white with rich blue vertical stripes on its inner and outer walls. On the inside was the usual—a writing desk, a lacquered yoroi hitsu for his armor, and a karabitsu for clothing and other belongings. There was a futon too, multiple in fact, enough for Lord Tōga and his many couriers.
Lord Tōga was alone inside this tent skinning a dead animal when Sesshōmaru arrived. The air smelled heavily of iron.
"Well," Tōga started, his eyes on the animal carcass on his desk. "You're moving slower than usual."
"What do you want?" Sesshōmaru asked, annoyed.
Tōga looked up. "Where are your manners? I at least expect a greeting before you saddle me with one of your moods."
Sesshōmaru said nothing. After wiping the blood from his hands and arms, Tōga held up the light brown animal pelt.
"Does this look like one of those fancy shawls the merchants sell?"
"No," Sesshōmaru replied truthfully. "Why?"
Tōga clicked his tongue. "I'm sending this to Shiraoi for Rin. Something extra to keep her warm for the winter."
Sesshōmaru did not doubt that Rin's friend Shizu would receive it and pen a letter of gratitude in Rin's stead.
"Surely you didn't summon me here to discuss your craftsmanship," Sesshōmaru said.
Tōga sighed. "Is it such a bother to you to ride your horse a few kilometers?"
"Why did you call for me?"
"Ungai pens me every other day," Tōga admitted. "I'd like it to scoff."
Sesshōmaru's eyes narrowed. That stubborn old man had been a thorn in his side since his arrival.
"Ungai will continue to write no matter what I do," Sesshōmaru said. "I have no sway with him."
"Well, whatever it is you're doing wrong, change it," Tōga said, scoffing.
"What's there to fix? Ungai is an imbecile."
Tōga laughed and set the animal skin back on the desk. "How mature! You are a grown man, for heaven's sake. There is no reason your inspector should alert me about your misdeeds every other day."
"Ignore the letters," Sesshōmaru said, turning to face the exit.
"I cannot afford to ignore things with the ease you seem to. Would it kill you to interact with your men?"
"I have received no complaints thus far."
"You have. Ungai, remember?"
Sesshōmaru scowled.
"You seem to get along well with whichever courier was brave enough to sleep in your tent," Tōga said. "Follow the same steps with others."
Sesshōmaru paused and faced his father again. "What?"
Tōga's brow rose. "Ungai mentioned in his last complaint a courier you seem to favor. It's too bad—if I knew this courier's name, I might promote him to scout as a reward."
Ungai had not mentioned a name in his letter; his father still did not know Rin was in the army. Sesshōmaru eased some.
"Message, commander!" a courier called from outside of the tent.
"Enter!" Tōga's voice boomed.
The courier, some young boy with a freckle-spattered face who could not be over fourteen, entered the tent and handed Lord Tōga a letter.
"Disregard Ungai's messages. I'll be rid of him by the end of the week," Sesshōmaru said.
"I eagerly await the day!" Tōga said. "Is there anything of import I might have missed while you two were having your spat?"
Sesshōmaru's mind drifted to the woman Rin had been meeting in the woods.
"There has been a camp follower loitering about the woods. She's possibly a spy."
"Do you know what she looks like?" Tōga asked.
Sesshōmaru frowned. Rin had revealed little to him.
"No, but she is heavily perfumed and has a smoking habit," Sesshōmaru responded.
Tōga blinked in surprise. "A high-class camp follower, then. Let us hope none of the generals have found themselves swayed by a pretty face. Though I cannot say it doesn't happen to the best of us."
Sesshōmaru's mind drifted back to Rin. He recalled the one-sided conversations he had with his father in his youth regarding the esoteric nature of young women—a dreamy smile, a sparkling eye, and a soft touch. He always thought that was his father's bad attempt at poetry. Then came Rin.
She was likely still resting in the tent. Perhaps it was time to reveal his true intentions to her.
"I'll take my leave," Sesshōmaru announced.
Tōga nodded. "Remember what you said. I expect the next letter I receive from Ungai to be his exit report."
Without another word to spare, Sesshōmaru exited the tent and called for his horse again.
Rin knew very little of love.
The word had not been in her lexicon for a very long time. The acts she had committed in the village did not require love, only hunger and desperation. Nor did those acts make her an object of love. She had been hated by the villagers, including many of the men who sought her services. After a while, she had simply grown accustomed to hatred.
Then came Lord Tōga, who had inexplicably taken her under his wing and treated her as though she were his daughter. And, though it had taken him some time to accept her presence, Lord Sesshōmaru's initial animosity had turned into amity.
…or so she had thought.
Rin knew Sesshōmaru was not an expressive man. He always bore the same impenetrable look on his face, save for when he was annoyed or angry. One could somewhat glean his thoughts through his eyes, but people often missed this on account of their own fear and his intense gaze.
She had been avoiding his eyes for a while on account of her own sudden shyness, but she still knew that that morning, the way he looked had her felt…odd. Different. His gaze wasn't filled with hate and unkindness—she doubted she would ever see such emotions directed towards her from Sesshōmaru ever again. No; somehow, Rin thought she had seen what looked like love in Sesshōmaru's eyes.
It was just her luck. Her attempt at communication had done nothing but reveal something that she thought she would have been better off not knowing.
She would be remiss if she said she felt nothing for Sesshōmaru. But her emotions were hard to pinpoint and define. She luxuriated in his company; she felt moved by his care; she delighted in the way the sunlight fell upon his features at different parts of the day, illuminating his cool expression.
Despite their friendship and proximity, Lord Sesshōmaru still felt unreal to her, forever out of reach like a high branch on a tall tree. Suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach.
"There's no use in thinking about this forever," Rin said sadly to herself. If Sesshōmaru returned while she was still moping under her blanket, she would never survive the embarrassment. Quietly, she dried her eyes, slipped back into the warm haori given to her by Sesshōmaru, and stepped out into the bright winter sun.
Camp business proceeded as usual, save for the man standing not too far off into the distance. He wore a black kimono and brown kataginu remarkably similar to Inspector Ungai's that let Rin know he was one of the warrior monks. But what was he doing in Sesshōmaru's sonae?
The man met Rin's gaze and bowed.
"Master Ungai would like to see you in his tent," the monk said tonelessly.
Rin paused. Whenever Ungai had a message to deliver, he would typically seek a courier himself, not send whoever this was.
"Did he say why?" Rin asked.
The monk ignored her query and turned to lead her to Ungai.
Rin frowned and tightened her fists. Ungai was mean and overcritical. It was impossible to know what miniscule thing she might have done to offend his sensibilities this time.
Ungai's tent was bare, save for the necessities: a futon, a desk, and a small wooden trunk for his belongings. When she entered, the air was hazy with incense smoke. Ungai was seated at his desk with his back facing her, shuffling through a pile of parchment.
"You wished to see me, Inspector?" Rin greeted politely.
"You've slept in two days in a row," Ungai pointed out, still gazing at the parchment.
Rin frowned. It was a matter of punctuality, then.
"I'm sorry," Rin said. "I'll be more careful next—"
Ungai held up his hand to stop her. Still, he did not spare her a glance. "I have ordered a physical examination for you. Nobuo shall be here soon."
Rin felt her heart skip a beat. "…A physical examination," she repeated, brows furrowed.
Rin took a deep breath to keep from panicking. A physical examination would ruin everything.
"The other couriers have slept in before and they've never had an examination," Rin said, her voice raised slightly.
"The other couriers have stronger constitutions," Ungai stated. "Is there something you feel you must hide?"
Rin frowned. "No. I'm simply not comfortable with—"
"I must ensure you are still suitable for service," Ungai said nonchalantly. "Becoming a burden to the sonae would be dishonorable."
"Inspector," Rin said firmly. "I think we should wait for the general to return, at least!"
Ungai stopped shuffling the parchment. When he finally turned to look at her, his expression seemed dark.
"Men!" he called out.
Two soldiers—the warrior monk from earlier, and another she had not seen prior—entered the tent.
Rin's eyes widened slightly. This wasn't a normal request for a physical examination.
"Inspector Ungai—"
"Grab her arms," Ungai instructed.
Rin's mouth gaped.
The men also seemed slightly wary of offending Lord Sesshōmaru's favored courier.
"Shouldn't we wait for the general, Master Ungai?" one asked.
"Contrary to what you might've heard about this camp, the metsuke serves as second-in-command," Ungai said. "Since the general is occupied, I am in charge. Now, bind her arms."
Rin and the two soldiers glanced at each other. A tense moment of silence passed before Rin made a sudden break for the exit. Her lithe body would have slipped right between the soldiers and out of the tent if not for Ungai, who grasped her arm with surprising strength and speed for an old man.
"Let go of me!" Rin yelled, thrashing against him.
"Hold her down!" Ungai told the men again.
This time, the men obeyed. Rin grunted as she was unceremoniously tossed to the earth and pinned down on her stomach.
Her shitagi lifted slightly. Rin felt her blood run cold as Ungai's blade cut through the layers of fabric, baring her back.
Ungai hummed. "As I suspected."
He wouldn't have to cut away anymore clothing, at least. The strip of sarashi around her chest told the story simple and well.
The tent flapped open.
"Is someone hurt?" Rin heard Nobuo ask. He must've heard the commotion.
"You took some time to arrive," Ungai clicked his tongue. "No matter. There is no need for a physical now."
The sound of Nobuo's footsteps grew closer until she could see his boots in her line of vision. Nobuo choked as he realized who Ungai's victim was.
"Don't you think this is a bit much?" Nobuo said. "Whatever Rin may have done, it would've been best to wait for the general–"
"The general is fully aware of her condition, I'm sure," Ungai said. "The commander should arrive soon. I've already sent a message."
The commander. No. Lord Tōga couldn't know she was there.
Rin's heart sank. "Inspector—!"
Ungai held up his hand to silence her. "Silence her. There's no need for her to speak until the commander arrives."
Sesshōmaru was halfway to his sonae when the growing thunder of horse hooves at a gallop disturbed the forest's quietude. He turned to see Lord Tōga approaching on Sai Hu, and slowed his own horse to a trot, though he could not possibly guess what was so urgent that his father would follow him instead of sending a courier.
To Sesshōmaru's surprise, without so much as a glance or a few passing words, the Great Lord of the West galloped right past him toward his sonae.
Sesshōmaru glanced over his shoulder again. This time, Seiten was bestride his horse a few meters off into the distance, trying his best to catch up with the great Lord. When Seiten's brown eyes met Sesshōmaru's gold ones, his expression changed to one of discomfort.
Something was amiss. And if Lord Tōga was in such a hurry to get to Sesshōmaru's sonae, forgoing a simple note or a verbal message by courier, that could only mean…
Sesshōmaru cursed and spurred his horse to a gallop.
When he arrived at the sonae and dismounted, Tōga was already walking towards Inspector Ungai's tent. Soldiers paused their activities to watch his angry march.
"Commander," Sesshōmaru called, following him.
"I hope for your sake this is all some elaborate joke," Tōga said, continuing his march.
Ungai's tent flapped open, and the old inspector stepped out. Sesshōmaru gave him a fierce glare that he might have withered under if not for Tōga's reassuring presence.
"Good morning, commander," Ungai greeted easily.
"Where is she?" Tōga asked.
Ungai gestured towards the tent's entrance.
Neither Sesshōmaru nor Tōga knew what to expect when they entered Ungai's tent. A woman's presence in the army was expressly forbidden because of practicality—at best, their supposedly weaker constitutions made them liabilities on and off the battlefield; at worst, their supposedly deceitful natures made them likely to exchange sexual favors for military secrets. Or, at least, that was how the reasoning went.
So perhaps they should've expected what they did see: Rin with her hands and feet bound, neatly fastened to a tent stake with a rather large piece of cloth shoved into her mouth. Her clothing was loose and practically falling from her shoulders; Ungai at least had the decency to give her a blanket for modesty.
Rin released a muffled sound of protest and struggled against her bindings at the sight of Sesshōmaru and Lord Tōga.
Sesshōmaru's body moved before his mind could, and soon he was crouched down by her side, cutting away at the ropes.
Lord Tōga's eyes narrowed. "Ungai. What is this?"
"This woman is unharmed," Ungai explained. "She was, however, rather skittish. We had to prevent her from escaping."
Rin let out a slight wail when Sesshōmaru removed the cloth from her mouth, and with the rope gone, she threw her arms around Sesshōmaru and buried her face in his chest.
His arms were around her again. A slight wave of calm settled upon her. She was safe.
"Rin."
Rin's blood ran cold. She glanced over Sesshōmaru's shoulder. The expression on Lord Tōga's face was unreadable.
"My Lord," she whimpered. "I—"
"Get up." His voice was stern. "Now."
He had never spoken to her like that before. Rin hesitated.
"You dare disobey the commander?" Ungai asked, stepping forward.
There was a flash of light. Sesshōmaru's short blade was drawn and pointed directly at Ungai.
Wisely, Ungai took a step backward.
"Sesshōmaru!" Tōga said. "Don't make a scene!"
"Too late," Sesshōmaru bit out.
He was right. Ungai's two warrior monks had returned and were now standing with their swords slightly drawn. Who knew what the other soldiers outside thought of this sudden gathering?
An uneasy feeling welled up in the pit of Rin's stomach. This was all her fault. If she had not begged for Sesshōmaru to bring her there, everyone would not be prepared to maim each other.
Rin gripped Sesshōmaru's sleeve. He gave her a sidelong glance before returning his attention to the others.
Don't embarrass Lord Sesshōmaru.
It was over. They had been caught; their secret was no more. She couldn't get Sesshōmaru into more trouble than she was already in.
"It's alright, Lord Sesshōmaru," she said sadly.
Sesshōmaru turned to face her, brows furrowed. For once, he appeared confused.
With remorse, Rin allowed her arms to fall away from Sesshōmaru to hold the blanket that now protected her modesty fast around her. Fully conscious that every eye in the room was now on her, she stood and slowly walked over to Lord Tōga.
"Seiten," Tōga called out.
"Yes, commander?" Seiten responded. Rin had not even realized he was present.
"Collect her belongings and return to honjin."
Rin frowned. "Commander—"
"Go. Now." Tōga ordered.
Rin gripped the blanket tighter and exited the tent with her eyes downcast. Seiten followed her.
Tōga took a deep breath to suppress his anger. "Now," he said, looking directly at his son. "Anyone care to explain what is happening?"
Sesshōmaru sheathed his tantō again and replied coolly: "What is there to explain?"
Tōga's jaw tightened visibly.
"You have received my letters regarding the general's favoritism, commander," Ungai proceeded. "And while we are both aware that it is normal for generals to have preferred couriers, I found the general's attachment to Rin rather odd, considering his Grace's demonstrably antisocial behavior. What's more, Rin seemed to spend much of his—or, rather, her—free time with the general, opting to join him on hunting and bathing trips in lieu of the other soldiers—"
"Is it a crime to desire privacy?" Sesshōmaru deadpanned.
"It is not," Ungai huffed. "It is certainly a crime to deceive the emperor and your superiors by impersonating a soldier. Though, I have plenty of evidence that you alone were not deceived, your Grace."
"And neither of you realized Rin was a woman prior to last night?" Tōga asked, addressing Ungai before Sesshōmaru could respond. "Are you blind?"
"There are several young boys employed in this army, many of them as slight in frame as Rin," Ungai explained. "It appears she avoided the suspicions of the previous inspector as well."
Sesshōmaru held his tongue as Tōga gave him another scowl.
As if on cue, the tent's entrance flapped open to reveal the inspector in question. Before anyone could say another word, Jaken threw himself on the ground before Lord Tōga's boots in deep reverence.
"Great Lord Commander!" Jaken exclaimed. "I—"
"Save it," Tōga snapped. "Did you or did you not know about Rin's identity?"
"Jaken knew nothing," Sesshōmaru lied.
Sesshōmaru doubted he would be punished too severely. Nor would Rin, considering his father's affection for her. Jaken, however, had been barely tolerated by Lord Tōga since he had entered Sesshōmaru's service so many years ago. If anyone could be punished, it was him.
Tōga let out a wry laugh. "Somehow I don't believe that."
"Commander, if I may speak?" Nobuo, who had been sitting uncomfortably in the corner the entire time, spoke up.
Tōga's brows furrowed. "Who are you?"
"Nobuo is the camp medic, commander," Ungai explained.
"Though Rin is a woman," Nobuo started. "I would not say she was 'impersonating a soldier.' She always carried her weight around the camp, whether it was helping me take inventory or delivering messages to other camps. If anything, Rin consistently took more initiative than the other soldiers in the camp."
Ungai frowned. "Nobuo—"
"Nobuo is right, your Excellency!" Jaken interjected from the floor. "Rin was such a diligent and prompt courier that no one even noticed she was truly a woman!"
Tōga released a long sigh.
"Perhaps she was extraordinary for someone of her sex," Ungai said. "But there is no need to act as if she is some sort of prodigy because she can deliver a letter."
Sesshōmaru scoffed. "Rin is the best rider of the couriers."
"Yes, general; I'm sure you would know that best," Ungai rejoined.
And just like that, Sesshōmaru felt the last modicum of his restraint slip away like a wisp of smoke in the breeze. His body jerked forward, one arm outstretched to grasp Ungai's neck and sever the old man's head from his body. The firm hand of another grasped at his sleeve. Instinctually, Sesshōmaru threw his other elbow back. He felt a dull crack as it collided with its target; still, the hand held firm.
Meanwhile, Jaken had finally pulled himself off the ground and was swinging his staff at Ungai, who was forced to defend himself with his staff. The two warrior monks entered the tent again to defend their master.
"Everybody, out!" Sesshōmaru heard his father say. Nobuo, who could merely watch in awe the sudden fray that had developed before him, was the first to exit, followed by Ungai and Jaken, who had to be forced out of the tent by the young warrior monks.
Sesshōmaru felt a harsh shove from behind. When he turned to face this new opponent, he was greeted by a sudden blow to his right eye. Some of his better sense returned; when he looked up again, he and his father were alone in the tent, save for the now-disheveled furniture.
"Ow," Sesshōmaru said caustically, placing one hand over his eye.
Tōga's hand was gripping his nose now. Blood-red specks dotted the floor where he stood.
"You've really done it," Tōga said. "You've gone mad."
Sesshōmaru scowled. "You certainly kept up your ruse. How long did you plan to let Ungai speak ill of her?"
"You are certainly one to talk!" Lord Tōga retorted. "Tell me this, Sesshōmaru: when were you planning on telling me the truth? Never?"
Sesshōmaru might've rolled his eyes if one of them wasn't throbbed.
"I didn't realize you two were such fast friends to where you kept secrets from me," his father said bitterly.
"I recall you telling me to 'treat her as I would a sister,'" Sesshōmaru accused.
Tōga was unamused. "I hope you would be wiser than to bring a sister to a battlefield."
"She wished to help," Sesshōmaru said coolly. "I cannot command her to do anything."
His father stared at him in disbelief before letting out a laugh. "How curious! You can be borderline tyrannical in anyone else, but telling her to stay put is where you draw the line."
"She is not a child," Sesshōmaru pointed out.
"Let's not argue over semantics," Tōga retorted. "Look what has happened. Ungai wrote in his letter that he believes you two have been intimate—"
"We have not."
"After being lied to about Rin's whereabouts for months, I'm honestly not too inclined to believe that. Nor will the men in this and the other sonae that this hearsay has most likely spread to by now. Your reputation will remain unscathed by virtue of your class and gender, but what of Rin's?"
"I mentioned this when she first began traveling with us," Sesshōmaru said, recalling when he expressed a similar concern prior to their arrival at Asano castle. "What has changed?"
"The voices of chattering men dramatically outweigh the gossip of a few courtiers' wives," Lord Tōga said. "I've forbidden the soldiers from accepting the services of camp followers, yet my son hides a woman in his tent as if she is his whore. It makes my word as good as nothing."
Sesshōmaru rolled his eyes. "Do whores and couriers share the same duties now?"
"This is not the time for jests," Tōga sighed. "You placed Rin in a precarious situation. If an enemy had attacked her on her routes and discovered her identity, what was to stop them? Or, even worse, a fellow soldier?"
Sesshōmaru's eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. "I would not have let that happen."
"Are you a deity? Can you be everywhere at once, keeping her safe while handling your duties as general?" Tōga asked. "Once everything settles, she is going to Bokusenō's manor."
The young Lord huffed. "She is happier here."
"Are you in love with her?" Tōga asked suddenly.
Sesshōmaru was taken aback by this sudden question. "Excuse me?"
"How else can I possibly say it?" Tōga snapped. "Do you love Rin? Yes, or no?"
For the first time during their long conversation, Sesshōmaru hesitated. Perhaps he could lie to his father, but to deny his love for Rin out loud, even if he did not truly mean it, felt as if it would be akin to denying a goddess.
"I will give you advice from experience then," Tōga started again, his voice softening some. "Do not mix love with war. It becomes too deadly a hassle."
"Are we done?" Sesshōmaru said, exasperated.
"Oh, this is only the beginning," Tōga said, starting towards the exit. "I'm returning to honjin. Once I'm finished with Rin, I am bringing the scourge here."
Sesshōmaru growled. "You will not flog her."
Tōga wiped his nose with his sleeve. Some of the blood smeared onto his top lip and his cheek. "You're right! I am going to flog you. I suggest you take this time to gather any medicine you might need; I don't suppose you'll be able to stand straight for the next few days."
With those last words, the Great Lord Tokudaiji exited the tent, leaving Lord Sesshōmaru with overturned furniture and the sound of his own silent fury.