I may just need to give up on an exact update schedule. *sigh and facepalm* I'm sorry everyone.
Anyway, this was a difficult chapter for me to write. And I may have low-key given myself a panic attack trying to get into Izuku's head for it... So yeah. Mind the trigger warnings.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Panic attacks and canon-typical violence
"Oh my God…"
"Yeah. He wasn't in good shape."
"He… He was actually going to…?"
"Honestly, I don't know if he would've gone through with it or not. But at that point in time, I'm pretty sure he felt like he only had two choices: to give up and become everything All for One wanted him to be, or take himself out to prevent that from happening."
"Purrr…"
"…What stopped him? What made him decide to keep fighting?"
"Heh. Sheer dumb luck."
"I'm sorry?"
"Yup. Sheer dumb luck that Mido happened to be passing by the alley where my little brother had gotten into a heap of trouble…"
.oOo.
Izuku ran.
If anyone were to ask him in that moment, he didn't think he would be able to define what he was running from-or to, as the case may be-or even where he was. He was just running, his breath rattling in his throat, his footsteps pounding against concrete rooftops, the vibrations running up his legs, his sides aching as he struggled for breath, sweat sticking his hoodie to his back, staggering as he twisted his ankle and yet relishing the shot of pain from toe to knee.
Relishing any feeling that wasn't feelings.
He didn't know what to think anymore. Didn't know how to think with the turmoil of emotions ripping through his chest, the screams of monster and traitor and the insidious whispers in his brain telling him that they were right.
The voices urging him to give up.
Eventually, the lightness in his head and the colors bursting across Izuku's vision forced him to stop, choking for breath as he leaned heavily against some sort of chimney stack, trying not to think through the deafening cacophony in his head.
Traitor.
Monster.
Pathetic.
Is this what it's like to go insane?
Shut up.
Why don't you go take a swan dive off the roof?
Leave me alone, Kacchan.
Afraid of the truth, shitty Deku?
…Yes.
The voices in his head abruptly quieted, almost as though in surprise. And all at once, Izuku realized that they weren't just in his head.
"I said shut the kid up!"
"Oh please. He's practically mute; nobody's gonna hear us. Pathetic, right?"
"All it takes is one person, idiot! Now shut him up!"
"Fine, fine."
A sort of morbid curiosity pulled Izuku out of his stupor, leading him to peek cautiously over the edge of the rooftop to where one man was subduing a much more slender figure with ruthless efficiency, while a third person appeared to be keeping watch. Highlighted by the unsteady light of a lamp connected to the wall, the victim of the attack released a strangled, whimpering cry as his attacker got an arm around his neck, forcing his head back as he choked him out.
Just for an instant, gold eyes met emerald.
The next thing Izuku knew, he was crashing directly onto the shoulders of the man holding the golden-eyed boy. He tumbled to the ground immediately afterwards, wincing as he felt scrapes form across his palms, but judging by the big man's startled yelp, immediately followed by the sound of a crumpling body and ragged coughing, his primary goal had been achieved.
"What the-?! Who the hell are you supposed to be!?" the man by the mouth of the alley demanded as Izuku scrambled to his feet, instinctively grabbing the hood of his sweatshirt and tugging it up-belatedly, he would admit-to hide at least some of his face.
Why am I doing this?
"It's just a punk of a kid," the bigger man snarled, cracking his knuckles as he advanced. "Who the hell do you think you are, getting in our way? An underground hero? No, a hero wannabe?"
Pathetic.
Izuku's eyes darted around the alley, taking in his situation for the first time. There was only one exit, and both of the attackers were between him and it; he had no simple way out. There was all kinds of debris and refuse lying around too, making the footing treacherous to say the least. At least the kid was still conscious, and smart enough to stay down until he had an opening. If Izuku could keep the two men's attention, even for just a few minutes, then he had a chance of getting away.
Shifting his posture, Izuku took a rough fighting stance, turning his head towards the bigger man moving towards him and tilting it up in challenge. "How about you come find out?" he called, hoping his voice wasn't trembling as much as his knees were.
What the hell am I doing?
"Damn cocky little brat," the man growled, hands crackling as he rose to the bait.
Electromagnetic energy release. Possibility of light produced in some way by the increased metabolic processes required for a strength quirk, but the sound would imply an electric discharge. Therefore a taser quirk. Why wouldn't he have used that on the victim instead of choking him out? Either it's too weak to render an opponent unconscious, or he enjoys physical aggression.
"Damn it, we're taking too long here!" the lookout growled, moving in as well. "The second brat obviously has fight in him; just knock him out and we'll take them both with us!"
Kidnappers. At least that means they want us alive.
"Oh come on, you're not gonna deny me my fun! I'll take my time if I wanna take my time!"
So he enjoys physical aggression and has a quick knock-out quirk. Great. Best to avoid close quarters either way.
… But how do I do that?
"I told you, we've wasted too much time! Shelter's expecting us back any minute now!"
Izuku's heart skipped a beat and for a moment he couldn't breathe.
He shot another quick glance towards the boy on the ground, rapidly taking in details of his appearance.
Approximately ten years old. About one hundred thirty-eight centimeters. Dark hair. Gold eyes. Wears long sleeved turtleneck even in summer. Suggests a dislike for physical contact. Additional commentary from his attackers imply past trauma resulting in at least partial muteness. All suggests a passive contact-based quirk that causes the user some form of pain, be it physical or mental.
Oh God.
It was all Izuku could do not to throw up as recognition flooded over him like a tidal wave. It was the boy he'd analyzed that very afternoon. The child he'd sold out to a ring of quirk-traffickers.
Quirk Analysis No. 15.
Monster.
Traitor.
"Haahh!"
Coward.
Izuku didn't quite manage to react in time to the punch thrown towards his cheek. He staggered, losing his stance, but at least the pain had the effect of dragging him back from the edge of another panic attack.
"Keep quiet ! My quirk doesn't cover up sounds, remember!?"
"Yeah, yeah, just make sure nobody notices the alley, alright?"
So probably an illusion quirk to hide the attack and buy time. Would explain why he's the lookout. Pretty effective team for the strategy they're employing.
But it doesn't cover up sound.
"HELP!" Izuku bellowed.
Society abandoned you.
"Shit-!
"SOMEONE HELP!" he yelled again, quickly stepping back to put some distance between himself and his attacker as the man glanced around in an instinctive panic, looking for the person that was supposedly coming.
No-one cares about you, worthless Deku.
"Knock him out now!"
Izuku barely managed to dodge the next strike, a strange sort of numbness racing across his arm as the crackling energy of the taser quirk got too close to him.
No-one's coming to help you.
"You little shit!"
That doesn't matter, he thought as he jumped back again, dodging another punch and stumbling on an aluminum can. As long as I can buy time until someone comes for that boy, it doesn't matter what happens to me. So someone…
"HELP!"
Someone please…
"Get out of the way; I'll deal with him!"
Save him!
Izuku staggered as his world seemed to lurch, the walls twisting and the street bucking underneath him. Damn, an illusion! I can't see him!
"HEL- agh!" Izuku choked as a punch landed solidly in his gut, knocking him against a decidedly not-shaking wall. Before he could regain his bearings, a huge hand grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground. He managed to catch himself before his face hit the concrete, but in the process sliced his hand open on a piece of broken glass.
"Why didn't you use your quirk you idiot!?"
"Stupid kid made me burn it out with all his running away. But don't worry; there's more than one way to skin a cat."
Izuku twisted to face his attackers, cringing as he scrambled back and his bloodied hand scraped across the alley floor. The big man was advancing on him, grinning in anticipation as he reached for something in his jacket. The other man appeared to be standing guard again, glancing back towards the mouth of the alley.
"Shit! The other brat is gone!"
"What!?"
Something in Izuku's chest seemed to settle then, and a small smile curled his lips. I won. "Lose something?" he called softly. He had to give the kid time to put some distance between them. I finally won, Kacchan.
"You little-!"
"Back off or I'll send you both to hell!"
Time seemed to freeze in place as the new voice cut through the darkness. Confused, Izuku twisted in place to see the entrance of the small alley, where a tall young man with dark hair stood, eyes glittering by the light of blue flames dancing around his extended hand.
And standing just behind the newcomer, almost pressed against his back, was the dark-haired boy with gold eyes.
He… came back? To help… me?
Monster.
"Shit," the lookout hissed under his breath, taking a nervous step back.
"Bastard," the big man growled, teeth set in anger. In an abrupt surge of movement, he grabbed for Izuku, obviously intending to use him as a hostage, only for a shot of blue to flash between them. Izuku could only watch, wide-eyed in amazement and horror, as the man staggered back with a cry of pain, clutching at his burned hand and then ripping off his smoking jacket and tossing it aside in an attempt to avoid further injury.
"I warned you," the fire-user growled, advancing into the alley, the golden-eyed boy sticking close to his side. "Now back off, or the next shot will be aimed at your head." He grinned, a truly demonic sight when illuminated by that eerie, blue glow-especially once Izuku caught sight of the vicious burn scars covering the left half of the man's face. "Trust me, it's not a pleasant sensation."
"Come on," the man with the illusion quirk hissed, gripping his partner's shoulder. Still gasping with pain and simmering with rage, the taser-man allowed himself to be tugged away, the two of them cautiously walking past the on-guard fire-user.
It wasn't until the two of them had exited the alley that the golden-eyed boy left the fire-user's side, hurrying instead to where Izuku still lay, trying to process what precisely had just happened.
"You okay?"
"H-Huh?" Izuku flushed, wide eyes darting between the boy as he knelt beside him and the tall young man as he glanced him over with concerned eyes before zeroing in on his right hand.
"Shit," he hissed under his breath, crouching down as well and taking hold of Izuku's bloody wrist and raising it towards the dim light. "We're going to need to clean this or it will get infected. At least it doesn't look like anything's stuck in the wound."
"I-I… Y-You… Y-You shouldn't- D-Don't-" Izuku fumbled, his wrist tugging free of the young man's grip as he flailed in a panic.
You must cut all ties with that world.
No-one there can help you.
No-one can save you but me.
"Hey, it's really no trouble," the fire-user shrugged. "You saved my little brother's life. Cleaning a cut is the least we can do."
Traitor.
"B-But I-I-"
"If you're worried about the whole 'vigilante' thing, don't be. Like hell would we ever call the police on you after what you did. 'Sides, I'd be just as guilty. Just come on. It'll just be a few minutes, and then if you insist, you can walk away and you'll never have to see us again, alright?"
Izuku stared between the two brothers in a flustered daze.
Why?
"Come on," the older brother rolled his eyes, taking him by the wrist and elbow and hauling him to his feet, then tugging him towards the entrance of the alley.
After everything I've done…?
"My name's Touya, by the way."
If they knew, they wouldn't want to help me.
"And that's my brother Daigo."
Coward.
The soft crunching of glass underfoot from somewhere in front of them caused Izuku's head to snap up. He couldn't see anything, and yet-
'My quirk doesn't cover up sounds, remember?'
"Watch out!" Izuku cried, shoving the fire-user out of the way, raising his arm to ward off the imminent danger. In the same instant, it was as though something in his soul clicked into place. He… felt something, something that he'd never felt before. A sort of… warmth, almost. Like a blanket or a cushion extending from his very skin.
Then all at once, the sensation shattered, and pain unlike anything he'd ever felt exploded behind Izuku's eyes. The pain drowned everything else out: sights, sounds, sensations; everything was lost under a wash of agony that pulsed through his entire body and ripped at his stomach.
A sudden lance of pain in his leg dropped Izuku to his knees.
He felt the impact through his entire body.
His world went white.
Then black.
.oOo.
Izuku awoke with a start and instantly regretted it, groaning as pain stabbed through him. He forced himself to relax, instead cracking his eyes open in an effort to assess his situation. He managed to take in a white ceiling with a simple LED light fixture before pain pierced his head once again and he was forced to snap his eyes closed.
Sensitivity to light… So maybe a migraine? Never had one before…
Where am I?
The thought struck without warning, a product of an amalgamation of subconscious observations. Whatever he was lying on, it was too soft, too cushioned to be his futon. There was a thick blanket tucked around him, and a general scent of food rather than a bar. Not to mention, everything seemed too… warm. Too bright. Maybe that was the migraine talking, but there was just a different air around him.
This didn't feel like a villain's hideaway. It felt… It felt like-
"Hey. You awake?"
Izuku twitched, his head turning instinctively towards the voice even though he grimaced at the twinge of pain the movement sent through his skull.
"That's a yes. You don't need to open your eyes; I know you have a headache."
Izuku forced his eyes back open anyway, just long enough to take in a scarred face with dark hair and an exasperated expression.
He closed them again.
"Jeez, I just told you you didn't have to open your eyes. Idiot."
There was a rustle of movement as the young man rose to his feet and walked towards the other side of the room, then a soft click and some of the general brightness in the area faded. Izuku carefully cracked his eyes open again, and this time the throbbing in his head was considerably less piercing than before. It gave him the chance to identify a small bedroom, with neutral-toned walls and a curtain covering the only window. Judging by the amount of light in the room, it was probably either very early morning, or mid-evening.
And it definitely wasn't the bar.
"Better?"
Izuku twisted a little bit once again towards the scarred young man stepping into his line of sight, watching him with steady, blue eyes.
As blue as flames.
"Y-Yeah," Izuku managed to croak, then fell into a fit of coughing that exacerbated his headache and caused his leg to throb so badly that he felt sick. Unfortunately, the only thing that he managed to dry-cough up was a prickle of bile that burned the back of his throat.
God, why does everything hurt so much?
"Hey, take it easy," the young man scolded, helping him to sit upright to ease the coughing. "You're still in rough shape. Here."
Izuku accepted the open water bottle without protest, shakily lifting it to his lips and easily spilling just as much down his chest as he managed to get in his mouth.
"Drink slowly. You don't want to make yourself even more sick."
Izuku grimaced and drew the water bottle away. His leg felt like it was on fire and his head wouldn't stop throbbing, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. "What… Wh-What-?"
"What happened?" the young man-Touya, was it?-suggested dryly, sitting in a low chair next to the bed. "What happened is that you saved me and my brother's lives."
Izuku blinked, staring, bewildered, into a steady, blue-eyed gaze.
"I-I…?"
Worthless Deku.
"N-No, I c-can't've-"
"And yet, you did," Touya interrupted, his expression softening.
Traitor.
"No! Y-You don't understand; I-"
"If it weren't for you, Daigo would be dead or worse-"
Coward.
"-and I would've taken a knife-"
"I put him in danger!"
His head was spinning with the force of his shout. The silence was suffocating. Paralyzing, even. Constricting Izuku's chest, choking off each breath, or maybe that was the tears welling up in his eyes, but no! he couldn't let them fall, couldn't let them hear, but God he was just so tired; so sick of fighting, so sick of burying it all, just sick; his stomach was churning and he instinctively scrambled for a wastebasket that wasn't there.
"Whoa, whoa, hey! Stop that; you're going to tear your stitches!" a voice ordered surprisingly close to his ear. There were hands around his upper arms, supporting him as he leaned off the side of the bed, dry-heaving.
Dammit, not again.
"It's alright, just let it come up," Touya murmured, shifting positions to sit beside him on the bed, letting Izuku lean into him and relieving some of the pressure on Izuku's left leg. He carefully wrapped an arm around the greenette, shifting into a comfortable slouch with Izuku leaning against his shoulder.
He… He smells like coffee and ash.
Like Dad.
How… How long had it been since he had allowed himself to think of his father? His mother? Since he had wondered what his disappearance must have done to them?
Since he had wondered what they would think of him if they knew?
"Kid, I know you don't want to cry, but if it's a choice between not crying and breathing, you need to focus on the latter," the fire-user soothed, his hand running gently across Izuku's shoulders. "Come on, I'll help you. I'm going to count a rhythm for you, one you can breathe in and out to, alright? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. One. Two. Three…"
Izuku struggled to follow the rhythm. More often than not, he was only able to breathe in for two or three seconds at a time before something in his chest or stomach hitched and he was choking for air all over again. But the counting didn't stop. It remained a constant, steady presence, something that Izuku could cling to, something that grounded him in reality instead of his frantic thoughts.
But one thought refused to stay silent.
"Why d-don't you hat-te m-me?" Izuku whispered, his voice breaking in a million places.
The counting paused.
Izuku held his breath.
"I guess it's because… you remind me of myself."