Howdy Rowdy's. :) Someone amongst you should understand...So this is a bit of a leap forward. This covers what happened after the fight as eveything I wanted to put into those chapters was already there. This takes place after the chapter in which Allie finds out she's pregnant so about a week before Pete wakes up. This is a two part chaper so the next one should be up by the end of the week. I hope you like this, I worked hard on it so be kind. :) Enjoy and as always feel free to review. x

Allie stumbled downstairs still clutching her stomach which was protesting at any movement whatsoever. She'd been up for the past two hours vomiting and it had swiftly taken its toll on her abdomen muscles as well as her throat which felt like fire. Rubbing the back of her neck tiredly, she turned to go into the kitchen, stopping when she heard voices.

"I'm really worried about her, mate," she heard Harry saying. "You didn't see her that day at the hospital; I've never seen anyone look so scared in my life, this isn't like Allie, you know? She's all about the getting up and keeping going, but I'm having trouble getting her out of bed in the mornings, she's not eating well…"

"Dad should be here," Allie blinked at the sound of Richard's voice. Her older brother had never really been that family orientated, his career always came first and then he married Jules who had taken an instant dislike to all of them which meant they only ever really saw him at special occasions like Christmas or birthdays.

"We're her brothers, Rich," Harry snapped. "We can handle this. I just wish she'd talk to me…" he paused. "Maybe you could try,"

"It'd be pointless, when have you ever known Alyssa to open up to me?" Richard replied.

"Never, but that's mainly due to the fact that the last time you actually sat down and spoke to her was at Mum's funeral for fuck sake!" Harry shouted, making Allie jump behind the door.

"Would you keep your damn voice down?" Richard snapped. "She's still asleep and if she looks half as bad as you claim she does then we should try and keep it that way for her sake."

Casting a quick glance at herself in the mirror, Allie knew there was no way she could be insulted by that. She did look like shit at the moment, her eyes were heavy, her skin was pale and she looked like she hadn't eaten anything in a month. Gently resting a hand on her stomach she bit her lip; the only person who knew about the baby was Lara who had flat out sworn not to tell anyone unless Allie wanted her to. But how could she? Pete was on death's door still and the doctors were getting less enthusiastic about his condition by the day which meant she wasn't exactly in the mood to break open the non alcoholic champagne and have a baby shower.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and the chattering inside the kitchen stopped as both men turned to look at her, their expressions similar to that of a deer caught in headlights.

"Morning, Alyssa," Richard nodded, pasting his own special version of a smile on his face. "You look well,"

At that little comment, Allie actually found herself chuckling quietly; had she not known her brother well enough to know he lacked any sense of humour whatsoever, she could have sworn he was being sarcastic.

"Yeah, the black bags under the eyes look really works for you, sis," Harry chimed in earning a stern look from their brother.

"How is that helpful?" he asked, shaking his head before turning back to Allie. "I, uh, I though I might make some lunch if you were hungry?"

"Lunch?" Allie's head snapped up and she panicked.

"Yeah, it's just gone 1, kiddo," Harry nodded, glancing at his watch just to be sure.

"Shit," she hissed. "I've got an appointment at half past,"

Turning on her heel, she ran back up the stairs past Lara who had also just woken up by the looks of it.

"Shit," she shook her head, her red hair falling out of the plaits either side of her face and into her eyes. "I'm sorry hun, I had no idea how late it was,"

"Its fine," Allie breathed. "I'm just up as well."

"Do you still want me to come with you?" Lara asked her, reaching out and taking her hand.

"Do you mind?" Allie whispered back. She knew that this morning would be near impossible to survive on her own.

"Go on," Lara pushed her gently towards the bathroom. "Go make yourself look pretty and I'll be ready when you get out, ok?"

Nodding and quickly kissing her cheek in gratitude, Allie made her way back into her bedroom and started yanking clothes out of her wardrobe; not that she even cared what she was wearing, all she cared about was getting this morning over and done with so she could get back to Pete.

Unconsciously, her eyes drifted over to one of the many photos of the two of them she had strewn about her room. It was taken at the surprise engagement party Lara had thrown for them here a few weeks back, taken without either of them knowing it, it showed her stood on the last few steps of the staircase looking down at him as he held out his hand, laughing at something she was saying to him. Feeling her eyes start to sting, Allie shook her head and forced her mind back to the task at hand: finding something to wear. Deciding quickly on a pair of jeans and flowing pale blue vest top, she shoved her feet into her silver ballet pumps and grabbed her bag, yanking the front door open, gasping when she came face to face with Richard.

"Jesus," she breathed, placing a hand against her chest where she could feel her heart beating wildly.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't mean to startle you,"

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Allie adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder, looking at him expectantly. She loved Richard but he was easily born about 50 years too late because, really, who actually used the word 'startle' these days?

"It's ok," she smiled tightly.

"I just thought I would come and make sure you were alright after last night," he looked awkward, referring to how after finally being coaxed away from Pete's bedside for a night she had more or less fallen apart once she'd got home, panic attacks keeping her awake most of the night as she thought about what could be happening to him without her there.

"I'm fine," she told him with a small nod.

"Oh," Richard blinked; he wasn't particularly used to dealing with all this emotional stuff…Jules was always so reserved, they rarely fought or anything like that so he had no experience in talking to someone who was this…vulnerable. "I thought I might go home for a bit, just to make sure Jules is ok and then I'll be back here for dinner," he paused. "Is there anything you'd like me to make? I know you used to love lasagne,"

"That was Harry," Allie told him quietly.

"Really?" he frowned.

"Yeah," Allie nodded. "Remember how mum used to call his Garfield all the time as a joke?"

At the mention of their mother, Richard got a far off look in his eyes and nodded mutely.

"Listen, Rich, I have to run, ok?" she smiled apologetically.

"Are you going to the hospital?" he frowned. "I thought we agreed that a day away from that place would do you good?"

Allie glared at him, her fists clenching.

"Yeah, well that place happens to be where the man I'm marrying is lying in a bed fighting for his God damn life so pardon me for wanting to spend some time with him," she hissed.

"Alyssa, you know that's not what I meant," Richard told her.

"I don't care what you meant," she snapped, storming down the hallway to where Lara was waiting with a confused look on her face as she watched the sibling's row. "And my name is Allie," she shot back over her shoulder, not giving him a chance to reply as she jogged down the curved staircase with Lara close behind her.

"So you've been abandoned too, huh?"

Allie looked up from where she was staring nervously at the 'Baby Care Tips' display on the wall in front of her and looked at the thirty something beside her. As she sat in the waiting room of the OB/GYN office, waiting nervously to be called; having gone through more than a dozen pregnancy tests since that night in the bathroom and seeing the P word come up on every one of them, she had decided that it was time to go and make sure everything was ok.

"I'm sorry?" she frowned.

"You look lost," the older blonde smiled. "Same way I did when I first came in here with this one," she nodded to the gurgling infant who was bouncing on her lap. "Where's your husband?" she asked, gesturing to her engagement ring.

"My husband…" Allie trailed off and then looked the woman dead in the eye. Fuck it; she was too tired to lie just to make some random woman feel less awkward around her. "He's in a coma right now,"

"Oh yeah?" the woman laughed. "Mine too. I swear to God, what is it with them and rugby? They can't be away from the TV for more than-…"

"No, I mean an actual coma," Allie interrupted.

"Oh my God," the woman pressed her fingers to her lips. "I'm so, so sorry,"

"It's ok," Allie shrugged. "It means I get single parents discount at Starbucks,"

"Allie Harding?"

Lara looked up at the nurse gratefully and pulled her friend up, out of her chair and away from the horrified woman next to them.

"You keep talking to people like that and you're going to end up in an asylum," she hissed.

"Oh so what?" Allie rolled her eyes. "My future husband who may or may not have knocked me up is in a coma, I've been through the wallowing stage, I've done the panic attacks and now I have reached the oddly calming stage of terrifyingly dark humour,"

"The key word there would be terrifying," Lara reminded her as they followed the nurse into the examination room.

"You'll need to put this on," she handed Allie a green hospital gown. "The doctor will be in soon,"

"Jeez," Lara smirked as Allie began undressing. "How did we not cop on to the whole pregnancy theory before? Look at your hips…they're-…"

"If you value your internal organs, the next words out of your mouth will be 'slender and toned'." Allie told her, pulling the gown on over her underwear. Hoping onto the table, she caught the smile on her best friends face before the room fell into comfortable silence. Allie looked down at the ring on her finger and tried to imagine what Pete would be doing it he were here with her. Panicking most likely, she thought with a smile, not to mention she'd have had to have dragged him away from the Lego sets the kids were playing with. Tears stung her eyes and she leant her head back as though trying to keep them in.

I'll make a deal with you, her brain told her evenly, if you can go 30 seconds without thinking about Pete, I'll have words with your gut and see if I can't get you some time off throwing up tonight.

"Deal," she whispered. Glancing around the room, she stared at the row of leaflets entitled 'Sex and Pregnancy'. Sex. Sex with Pete which had resulted in the baby which he didn't even know existed.

Shit!

Glancing down at her watch she established that she'd probably gone all of four seconds without thinking of Pete. That had to be a record.

"Oh my God, would you stop that?"

Allie looked up at Lara from where she was sat on the edge of the cold, leather bed.

"Stop what?" Allie frowned unsure of what the red head's outburst had been about.

"You keep doing that clicky thing with your tongue," she shook her head. "You always do it when you're nervous,"

"Sorry." She murmured, smoothing the over starched gown they had given her to wear in preparation for her exam.

Seeing the sadness of her friend's face, Lara instantly flooded with guilt and took a deep breath, preparing to say something comforting when the door opened and a man no older than 30 popped his head around the door.

"Miss Harding?" he raised an eyebrow at the two women.

"That'd be me," Allie lifted her hand meekly and waved at him.

"Really?" he asked, looking her up and down and tapping the sleeve of her hospital gown with his pen. "And here I was thinking that this was just the fashion you crazy kids are into these days,"

Both Allie and Lara stared at him as though he was mad, not sure what to do or say.

"It's called breaking the ice," he explained. "My uh, my attending is a bit of a joker," he nodded. "Of course we all really know he's just a raging alcoholic but the point is I'm here and he's not so let's get this show on the road, shall we?" he blew a strand of light brown hair out of his warm blue eyes and stuck out his hand. "I know I'm not your usual consultant but Dr. Kane is away for the week at a conference in Bristol so I'm afraid you're going to have to put up with me. I'm Dr. Norton, but you can feel free to call me Jeremy,"

"Hi," Allie smiled at him. "So, breaking the ice, huh?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Unbelievably good at it, aren't I? I like to think of myself as the 007 of St. Marks,"

Lara chuckled and mouthed 'I love him' behind his back, making Allie giggle along with her. She almost felt guilty, after 2 weeks of nothing but crying, the sensation felt almost foreign to her.

"Right so," he raised his eyebrows, pulling up a tall stool so that he was sat opposite Allie and picked up her chart. "You're pregnant,"

"Yes," she nodded and then frowned. "Well actually, I don't know. I think I am but then I read that pregnancy tests can be really…off so I thought I'd…"

"How many tests did you take?" Jeremy asked her.

"Somewhere in the realms of ten and twelve," she answered.

"All of them positive?" he pursed his lips when she nodded and smiled. "Right well, I'd say that's pretty unlikely all of them were wrong but it never hurts to check, right?" pushing a few buttons on the scary looking machine next to him, he smiled at Allie and gently patted her hand. "Relax, its simple, just like any other exam you've had before."

He gestured for her to lie back and she did, taking a deep breath as he pulled the rough, paper sheet up around her waist, creating a kind of screen.

"I take it you're ok with your partner being here?" he gestured to Lara and this time Allie laughed out loud.

"She's not…" she shook her head. "We're not together,"

"Only in her dreams," Lara answered playfully, making the doctor laugh.

"And mine," he grinned, then shook his head. "Christ, I really have to start paying attention to my out loud rule," he took out the ultrasound stick and squirted something onto it, making Allie winced apprehensively. "I had this new years resolution to think more before I speak out loud,"

"How's that going?" Allie asked him.

"Well, I just made a lesbian joke about my possibly pregnant patient and her friend," he raised his eyebrows. "How would you say it's going?"

"Sounds pretty reasonable to me," Allie laughed. "What's the point in being a gynaecologist if you can't crack out the odd lesbian joke, right?"

"You're my kinda patient," he smirked. "Ok, now this might be a little uncomfortable at first but it won't be for long, ok?"

Allie nodded and then winced as the coldness swept through her body, instinctively her hand shot out and she felt tears sting her eyes realising that the one person who should be there to hold it, wasn't. Instead, Lara stepped forward and grasped her hand, rubbing her thumb back and forth along the knuckles soothingly.

Jeremy stared at the screen, his brow furrowed as he focused hard on the fuzzy images flickering across the small screen; suddenly, he smiled broadly and pressed a button, making the image freeze.

"Miss Harding," he turned to face her with a warm smile. "That right there is your baby,"

Allie stopped breathing for a moment, unsure of how to feel. She felt Lara squeeze her hand and whisper 'Oh my God' but was unable to make any noise herself.

"Now judging from the size," Jeremy looked back at the screen. "I'd say you're around the four week mark," he smiled and removed his gloves. "Congratulations, mummy,"

Allie stared at the screen, unable to make any sense of it at all but knowing that her baby was in there was enough. She was having a baby…shaking her head, she jumped when she felt Lara wiping the tears off of her face. She hadn't even realised she'd been crying.

"Hey, don't worry," Jeremy shook his head, looking at her in concern. "It'll get bigger, I promise,"

Allie laughed and accepted the tissue he offered her.

"I can give you a copy if you want," he gestured down to her engagement ring. "I'll bet your husband's gutted he missed this,"

Following his gaze, Allie stared at the ring for a long time and then looked back up into his light blue eyes, only a shade or two lighter than Pete's.

"It's ok," she told him with a watery smile as her hand tightened on Lara's. "He'll be here for the next one,"

"Fuck me," Dave shook his head. "That's a sorry sight, ain't it?"

The five men stared up at what used to be their sanctuary, their pub; now all that was left of it lay in the crumbled brick and ash at their feet.

"Anyone heard from Terry?" Swill asked, turning over what used to be a windowsill with his boot and coughing when a cloud of dust burst out of it.

"Yeah," Ike nodded. "He's staying with my mate Ross, you know the one who works at the brewery? Apparently he's up to his tits in all the insurance shit but he doesn't reckon he'll be up and running anytime within in the next year,"

"There must be something we can do," Matt frowned.

"What'd you 'ave in mind?" Dave snorted. "We all strip down to our tighty whitey's and have a good ol' fashioned car wash to raise funds? Maybe me and Swill can put on some tartan skirts and sell biscuits to the OAPS down at the home?"

"Christ, I was just saying," Matt mumbled, trying not to look as embarrassed as he felt. Even though he knew he had done himself a lot of favours by turning up for the fight a few weeks back, the boys attitude to him was still that little bit frosty. But with Pete still in the state he was and Bovver missing for a third week running, it's not like being in anyone's good books was his main priority.

"I'm heading down the hospital later," Ned piped up, drawing their attention away from the blackened building for a moment.

"That's probably not the wisest of idea's, Ned," Swill shook his head.

"Why the fuck not?" the shorter man protested. "Pete's our mate, we've got every right to see him,"

"Yeah and what about the old bill, eh?" Dave snapped. "You reckon they're not hanging about waiting for the likes of us to be stupid enough to stick our fucking noses through the door with a get well card and a bunch of flowers?"

"Who called the old bill?" Ike frowned.

Dave didn't answer, he just shook his head and cast a glance at Matt but Swill caught it and his jaw dropped open.

"It was you?" he spat. "You stupid little cunt, what the 'ell were you playing at?"

"Tommy almost killed Pete and he's still out there, what the hell was I supposed to do, just sit there and wait for him to come back for the rest of us?" he shouted.

"Fucking hell," Swill rubbed his temples and pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "You fucking yanks, you're all so noble, aren't ya?"

"What as opposed to you guys?" he snarled. "You almost let your best friend die and you weren't even going to try and get the guy who's responsible for it," he shook his head. "How fucking noble does that make you?"

"What'd you say to me?" Swill chucked his cigarette to the ground and turned on Matt, his dark eyes glittering dangerously.

"Alright, enough," Dave shouted, stepping in between them and placing a firm hand on Swill's chest. "We don't need this bollocks right now, ok? So either calm the fuck down or go home, because if it's gonna be like this all day, then you can both fuck off and I mean now."

Matt shoved his hands into his pockets and backed up a slightly, knowing that if it did come down to him versus them, he didn't have a hope in hell anyway.

"What about Allie?" Ike spoke quietly, the wind kicking up the dust at their feet causing him to cough lightly as the soot filled his lungs. "Has anyone heard anything?"

"I've tried calling her at least twice a day," Dave shrugged. "She's not having any of it." he cast a reluctant glance at Matt. "Has Shannon mentioned anything?"

"Not to me," he shrugged. "And I haven't seen Allie since that first day at the hospital, I called Lara a couple of times but she said that Allie's not ready to see any of us yet,"

"Great," Dave laughed. "Fucking perfect, our best mate's in a coma, his girlfriend won't give us the time of day and…" he frowned. "Where the fuck are Bovver and Keith?"

"Keith's working non stop at the moment," Ike shrugged. "Mate, since the fight, he's been…I don't know, different. Its like he just doesn't give a shit anymore,"

"So Keith's packed it in and Bovver's gone AWOL," Dave shook his head. "How the fuck did we end up 'ere?"

"What?" Swill frowned. "At the Abbey?"

"No, you twat," Ned spoke for the first time in minutes. "He means in this mess,"

"Fuck knows," Swill shrugged. "Its how we get out of it that I'm worried about; there were enough people at the Warf that day to point the finger at any of us, what if we get fucking done for it?"

"There was easily 50-odd people there," Ike narrowed his eyes. "All of 'em saw Tommy beat the shit out of Pete, why would they point the finger at us,"

"Because they're Millwall," Dave answered him. "And those cunts would bury us with their last breath if they had the chance,"

"So you think that's what's going to happen?" Matt asked, watching as the early afternoon sky clouded over, threatening the ashes on the floor with rain.

"I don't have a clue, Matt," Dave shook his head. "All I know is, that if anything happens to Pete, if we can't find Bovver, if Allie never speaks to us again, what does any of that shit matter?" he shrugged and Matt could have sworn he actually saw tears in the older man's eyes. "What's the point in Tommy coming after us if we've already lost everything we care about anyway?"

The five men descended back into a stony silence as the air around them grew cold and the first drops of rain fell from the heavens, mixing with the ashes at their feet and blending with the tears that none of them would ever admit to having shed.

"Mr. Bovverington, this is James Meade from GEM Marketing, I've got a memo from your section manager Mark Regis in front of me and he's notified me that you haven't actually been into work for over a fortnight now and we've still yet to hear from you. I'm sorry Mr. Bovverington but with the up coming merger we need all staff on board and as you've shown no dedication or commitment to this company, I'm afraid that we're letting you go. If you could come by the office in the next three days to pick up you belongings, we also have your P45 and other documents you may need when seeking employment elsewhere. I hope everything is ok…I really am sorry, Stuart, I did everything I could."

The line went dead and the dingy apartment fell into eerie silence once more. The liquor bottles littering the floor cast strange shadows against the wall as the moonlight poured through the glass and the sirens from up the road drifted through the thin glass of the window.

Bovver lay on the sofa, staring up at the water marked ceiling idly, not paying attention to anything really. His phone began vibrating on the coffee table and glancing down past his worn shirt which still had flecks of dried vomit on it, he squinted and saw Dave's name on the screen. Letting his head drop back down, he didn't bother answering it because after all, they'd ring again in another hour just like they always did. Not that he'd bothered speaking to any of them since the fight, he had needed the last few weeks to escape, to lie low.

"Doesn't get much fucking lower than this," he muttered, poking one of the empty vodka bottles which lay next to the sofa.

Suddenly his alarm rang, the half broken radio emitting nothing other than irritating static into the small living room. Reaching over, Bovver slammed his fist against it, ceasing the noise and welcoming the quiet once more. It was too quiet though, it was too much…

Standing up, he switched the radio back on, deciding that static was better than no noise at all.

Lacing his fingers together, he rested his head against them and felt the first tear run down his face. Taking a deep breath and then using every ounce of strength he had left in his body, Bovver threw everything that was on the counter onto the floor. He screamed so hard that he swore he could taste blood. He threw everything that he was able to pick up, feeling himself coming apart, like he was no longer in his own body. The grief, the anger, the hatred poured out of Bovver in waves, destroying everything in their path. The noise and the chaos of the room was oddly comforting, destroying the guilty silence which had haunted him for weeks.

When it was over, Bovver lay on the kitchen floor surrounded by shards of glass, torn paper and his own blood. The ceiling seemed too close and he reached out a shaking, bloodied hand to touch it, frowning when he was unable to do so. It felt weird being so far away, so isolated, almost as though no one would ever find him here. Picking up a piece of the glass he turned it over and over in his hand, before squeezing it and watching in amazement as the blood oozed out of his fist.

Why didn't it hurt?

Dropping the glass and staring at the deep wound in his palm, Bovver knew he was ok. He was alive. There was a time when that thought would have been enough to comfort me and grant him another night of peaceful sleep, but now, it seemed shallow and pointless. He was ok. But that wasn't enough. Not this time.

To be continued, pretty darn soon...now review, my pretties...Review!