A/N: Their first day in the cabin. When we left our couple, they were climbing the "Stairway to Heaven", as it were. He's got nothing to worry about, right? What could go wrong?
Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck
Chapter 29
As he followed Sarah up the stairs, the butterflies in his stomach began to flutter. It was slowly sinking in that they were in the middle of nowhere, in a luxurious mountain retreat, completely alone. Unlike this morning, there would be nobody to interrupt things. That thought alone made his palms start to sweat. That morning, things had been spontaneous, no planning or forethought. No chance to second guess himself. But now, it was out there and he'd been thinking about it all day, a nagging little voice in his ear that was steadily getting louder the more he dwelled on it. Trying to push his nervousness aside, he finally made it to the top of the stairs, taking a deep breath to try and center himself.
The main upstairs hallway ran the length of the house. To the left, the hallway transitioned into an open walkway, hewed logs making up the railing on either side, allowing for a bird's eye view of the first floor. Beyond the walkway was a bunkhouse style loft, with three bunk beds and two dressers. Hung on one of the walls were the plush, cartoonish heads of several stuffed animals, mounted on plaques to make them appear like taxidermied big game animals. There was what looked to be an elk, a big horn ram, black bear, moose and a deer of some sort. The room was obviously geared towards children, but Chuck felt the beheaded stuffed animals might have been a little creepy. It was then that he realized that these were the only "stuffed" animals he'd seen in the house so far. He'd seen carved statues and knickknacks of animals, even a painting or two, but none of the sporting trophies one would typically associate with a cabin in the woods. Shrugging, he turned to the right to follow Sarah down the hall.
On the right side of the hall was a bathroom with a rather classic tub/shower, the decor matching the rest of the house. Directly across the hall was a modest bedroom with two full sized beds, the frames made of hewed logs, much like everything else in this house, it seemed. Further down the hall, they were flanked on both sides with additional bedrooms. They were roughly the same size as the other bedroom, but with queen sized beds in each. The style was a little less rustic, more like typical bedroom furniture, though still distressed to fit in with the surroundings. Chuck had watched Sarah peek in each of the rooms, seeing her taking in the small details, nodding her appreciation or wrinkling her nose at things that weren't her style.
Chuck had caught up with her, standing at the partially closed door at the end of the hallway. She glanced over her shoulder at him before hesitantly pushing open the heavy wooden door. Surprisingly, the door moved easily and silently, the two stepping into the room.
"Oh, Chuck. This is so beautiful," Sarah breathed out, gasping slightly. Chuck was blown away as well, letting out a low whistle. The room was warm and inviting, slightly more opulent than the rest of the house. The large king-sized bed featured a massive, heavy headboard that looked to be crafted from rough sawn barnwood, though the craftsmanship and attention to detail was evident. The deep reds, browns and olive colors of the bedding added to the warmth of the room and the fluffiness of the pillows and comforter beaconed them to lie down. At the foot of the bed was a large, padded bench with a neatly folded quilt placed on one side.
In one corner of the room was a stone fireplace, firewood already stacked neatly nearby. Next to the fireplace were French doors that led to a balcony of similar design as the deck below. The same breathtaking view of the mountain could be seen from this vantage point as well. Sarah stepped out onto the balcony, Chuck following, after setting down their bags.
Two chairs and a small table graced the balcony; plenty of room for two people to sit comfortably. "I can just imagine having my morning coffee as the sun rises over the mountain," Sarah mused, leaning on the railing as she took in the view.
"Or maybe a glass of wine as you watch the sunset reflect off of it," Chuck added as he stepped up beside her, mimicking her stance. She turned her head and gave him a brilliant smile. She held his gaze for a moment before leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.
"I like the way you think, Mr. Bartowski." Chuckling to herself, she gestured with a flick of her head back into the room, as she pushed off of the balcony railing and stepped into the bedroom. Chuck followed suit, closing the doors behind them. Making their way across the bedroom, Chuck looked out of the windows on the adjacent wall as they passed, marveling at the beauty of all the trees and the valley below. In the corner opposite the fireplace was a large dresser and an equally large TV sitting on top. Chuck knew that the Woodcombs were avid sports fans, so it wasn't surprising that they would have the appropriate technology to watch it in style.
On the opposite side of the bed was a short hallway with two doors. One led to a large walk-in closet, and, although there was some clothing hanging there, there was plenty of space for them to hang up their own things with room to spare. The other doorway opened to the master bathroom. Chuck heard Sarah's long, low gasp of awe as he stepped up behind her.
"Holy Bathrooms, Batman! This place is huge!" Chuck exclaimed, peeking around Sarah to get a better look into the room. Stepping in, the two wandered around the large master bath in awe. The vaulted ceiling, while seemingly unnecessary in a bathroom, was impressive nonetheless. A large double-vanity, with additional cabinets for linens, graced one wall. Beside it was a spacious walk-in shower with tile from floor to ceiling. Through the clear glass shower door, they could see the showerheads both on the walls and in the ceiling. There was even a bench built into the shower, the possible uses of which Chuck was desperately trying not to think about.
Beyond the shower was the door to the water closet, offering the users plenty of privacy. Across from it was a giant soaking tub, set into a large alcove. The tub was easily large enough for two people, a fact that both of them filed away for later. Adjacent to the tub was a gas fireplace, adding to the ambience of the room. Above the tub were two large windows that faced the valley, providing an amazing view of nature while bathing.
"This bathroom is incredible. If there was a mini fridge in here, there'd be no reason to leave," Chuck commented, chuckling to himself as he looked around in awe.
"Well, I could think of a few things that might tempt me to leave," she replied with a wry smile, "but I certainly get your point. I can't wait to soak in this tub." Sarah caressed the edge of the tub as she admired it. "I love my tub at home but this is totally next level right here."
"Well, if you want, I could go down and whip up something for dinner while you take a bath? You know. Soak away all of the stress of the past few days. How does that sound?" Sarah looked like she could melt, letting a small whimper out as she looked at him adoringly.
"Really? You'd do that?" she asked, stepping up to him and sliding her arms over his shoulders. Sarah held his gaze, lovingly smiling up at him.
"Of course! Why wouldn't I? You deserve to relax. You just said how much you love soaking in the tub. Take an hour or so and I'll go make us dinner. I'll come up and get you when it's ready." Before he could say anything else, Sarah's lips were pressed against his, pulling him down into a soft kiss. The kissing went on for nearly a minute and spoke volumes of the love and appreciation she felt for this man. Humming in contentment, she slowly pulled away, a dreamy expression on her face. Chuck was equally dazed, if not a little bemused.
"I've told you I love you, right?" she asked, gently running her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. The smile on his face made his nose crinkle, a light dancing in his eyes.
"I… I mean, not in the past few hours, but I believe I've heard that somewhere before," Chuck teased, gliding his hands up and down her lower back. Chuckling at his remark, she reached up and gave him another quick kiss. "I love you. Now, I'll leave you to enjoy yourself while I go downstairs. I saw some towels in the cabinet beside the sinks. They might even have some bubble bath if you want. I can look around and see-" Sarah placed a finger on his lips, twisting her own to the side to keep from laughing.
"Thank you. I'll find it. You don't have to wait on me, you know?" Chuck gave her an incredulous look, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Have to? I want to. Whatever I can do to make you happy, to make your day a little brighter, you'd better believe I'm gonna do it. Not only is it my duty, but it's also my privilege. So... mmm". He finished his response with poise and maturity by sticking his tongue out at her. Sarah giggled at her boyfriend, lightly smacking him on the chest as she pushed him toward the door.
"Go make me dinner then, you goof." Sarah pushed him out of the bathroom and through the bedroom, both of them chuckling the whole way.
"As you wish," he called over his shoulder as he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Sarah leaned against the door, basking in the happiness she felt. She'd never smiled or laughed so much with anyone in her life and she recognized how monumental that was. It wasn't jet setting around the world, fancy parties or lavish gifts that made her happy, but these small moments with Chuck, just being with him, laughing with him, that made her feel so incredibly happy. Humming to herself she made her way to her bag to get a change of clothes.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chuck took stock of what they'd bought at the store and came up with a plan for dinner. He was still nervous about tonight but found some respite by focusing on preparing their meal. He scrubbed a couple of baking potatoes in the sink and then placed them in the oven to bake. When he started washing the asparagus, his phone began to ring. Fumbling to get it out of his pocket, he swiped to answer it without looking and wedged it between his ear and shoulder.
"This is Chuck."
"The tub…. has a heater," was all she said, not bothering to start with a greeting.
"So… does this mean you'll be taking your meal in the tub this evening, Ms. Walker? I could have room service deliver it if you'd like." His amusement was clear in his voice, but he tried to adhere to the roleplaying he'd started.
"Hmmmm. I dunno. It's very tempting. Although…" Sarah's voice took on a distinctly mischievous tone, causing Chuck to pause his work in the sink. "I wouldn't want room service to see me in this state. All alone… in this great big tub, completely naked with only these bubbles to cover me. I would feel so… vulnerable." A faint whimper escaped Chuck's throat before he was dragged back to reality by the sound of his phone bouncing off of the counter, tumbling between his legs and the cabinets before bouncing off of his shoe and clattering to the floor.
Quickly, Chuck snatched his phone off of the floor, fumbling it slightly as he tried to brush it off in a panic. As he began to raise the phone to his ear, he could hear the laughter coming from the phone, with a faint echo coming from upstairs. He took a breath to calm himself, both from the spike in blood pressure and the scare of nearly ruining his phone. Admittedly, he could see the humor in it, but it still felt a little unfair. She clearly knew the power she had over him. Well, he was sure she had this power over any man. He would just have to accept that power dynamic in their relationship, as there was no way he could have that sort of effect on someone like her.
Clearing his throat, he put the phone to his ear and waited for a lull in her uproarious laughter. He continued his work as he waited, which sounded like it might take some time. After a minute or so Sarah let out a sigh, followed by blowing out a breath to collect herself. "Chuck? Are you… are you OK?" she asked, her laughter now reduced to an occasional giggle. Chuck thought for a moment about how to respond, but opted to continue their little roleplay.
"Yes, Ms. Walker. My apologies. There seems to be a poor signal here, prone to … dropped calls," Chuck deadpanned, giving pause as Sarah spluttered with laughter again, though quickly regaining her composure.
"Well, will you please inform room service that I'll be dining downstairs this evening. Perhaps on the veranda?" She asked, slipping easily back into the role.
"Very good, Miss." Chuck grinned, glancing around the kitchen to find a clock. "Dinner will be served at 6:30. Would you like me to have one of our staff retrieve you?"
"No," she replied with a single note chuckle, enjoying the playful banter between them. "That'll be quite alright. I'll come down on my own."
"As you wish. We will have a table reserved for you. Until then."
Before he could end the call, he heard her break in. "Oh, uh, one more thing." Chuck hummed in acknowledgement, waiting to hear her request. "I love you," she confessed, her tone changing to one of sincerity, dropping the previous charade. It took him a little by surprise but he was able to recover.
"I love you too," he replied with just as much sincerity. "I'm pleased to inform you that here at the Charles Irving Resort and Spa, that is a complimentary service. No extra charge." The conversation went quiet and he'd feared that maybe he'd gone too far. He'd gotten a little swept up in the whole roleplaying thing and probably should have stopped while he was ahead.
"Could you please tell the chef that I'm in the mood for some… dessert this evening?" she asked, in a low sultry voice. "Something… off menu," she purred, causing a lump to form in his throat.
"V-very good, Miss. I'll uh … I'll be sure to … prepare him. I-I mean inform… inform him. G-goodbye," he eked out, the call ending, allowing him to let out the breath he was holding. Leaning against the counter, he took slow breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to calm his nerves.
"Dinner. Gotta make dinner. Focus, Chuck. You can do this," he whispered encouragingly to himself, returning to his ministrations with renewed fervor.
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Sarah had enjoyed her bath immensely, marveling at the notion of a heated tub. But the tub wasn't the only thing generating heat in that tub. The conversation she'd had on the phone, the simple call to remark on the tub had somehow morphed into a roleplay between them. She'd taken great delight in his reaction to her flirtations. Sarah could just picture him dropping the phone and then scrambling to pick it up. Just thinking about it brought a smile to her face still.
She expected the roleplay to stop there, her outburst of laughter likely having killed the mood. But Chuck pushed on, even going so far as to make a joke at his own expense. He never ceased to amaze her. The men she'd dated before, their egos were far too fragile to ever allow someone to laugh at their expense, even if it was in good fun. Admittedly, she was laughing at the situation and not at Chuck, but for those other men, it wouldn't have mattered. And for them to engage in playful roleplay with her, that was unheard of. If it wasn't detailed in a script, they were at a loss. They would never risk the embarrassment, always so concerned about appearances.
For Sarah, the risk made the reward that much sweeter. Tackling a challenging role in a movie or a daring stunt, pushing herself out of her comfort zone and putting herself out there, was a risk both emotionally and physically. But when she succeeded, the rush she felt was well worth it. Now she found that with Chuck, putting herself out there wasn't nearly as risky as she feared, and so far, the rewards had been beyond her wildest dreams. With Chuck, it was like he was her safety net, ready to catch her if she fell. She knew he would never judge her or think less of her if she failed at something. To think that they had been together for such a short time, yet he'd had such a profound effect on her, was insane.
Putting the finishing touches on her makeup and a light spritz of body spray, she looked approvingly at herself in the mirror and made her way out of the bathroom. She removed the extraneous pillows from the bed and turned down the covers, feeling a little nervous, but excited, about what she hoped the evening had in store for them. Making her way down stairs, she spotted Chuck wiping down the kitchen counter. When her heels clacked on the wood floor, Chuck's head snapped up to look at her. She was waiting with bated breath to see his reaction, hoping that he would approve of her outfit, even though it was fairly casual.
'Wooooow," he breathed out, his mouth agape as he took in the sight of her. Had he been a cartoon, she'd imagine his eyes popping out of his head. Mission accomplished. He stepped around the counter to greet her, unable to take his eyes off her.
"Sarah, you look… wow. You look breathtaking! I mean, of course you do. You always look amazing, but … you look especially lovely tonight." Sarah looked down at her clothes, pushing her hair behind her ear, feeling gratified that the extra work she'd done hadn't gone unnoticed. The dark jeans and sleeveless, white, silk blouse with small white pearlescent buttons, clung in all the right places without being too suggestive. The burgundy, suede, chunky-heeled sandals added a bit of color and brought her a little closer in height to her boyfriend, which would undoubtedly make kissing him easier.
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it. Do I meet the resort's dress code for dinner?" she asked, giving him a wry smile.
"Yes. You're perfect. Err- It's perfect. Your outfit, that is," Chuck stammered out, averting his gaze, blushing slightly. He looked himself over, furrowing his brow as he brushed at his clothing. "I'm sorry. I… I look a mess. I've been cooking and I didn't get a chance to-"
"Shhh," she whispered, placing a finger to his lips. He met her gaze as she closed the distance between them. Removing her finger from his lips, she gently ran the fingers on her left hand through his hair, admiring the feel of it. "Nobody has ever made me dinner before," she confessed, shifting her gaze from his hair to his hazel eyes. "Ordered dinner, sure, but no man has ever offered to make me dinner. Especially with your unique...flare." She bounced her eyebrows, leaning in even closer so their faces were mere inches apart. "I find that incredibly sexy. In fact, … I'm even considering having my … dessert … first," she breathed out, her bottom lip brushing his.
Chuck closed his eyes, fighting with every fiber of his being not to collapse into a heap on the floor. Despite his efforts, he wasn't able to hold back the shiver and ragged breath that escaped. Trying to regain his composure, he swallowed thickly and opened his eyes, but needed to avoid her eyes, settling on her lips instead. "I-I'm s-sorry Miss Walker, but your … d-dessert isn't uh…. isn't quite ready yet. But um… perhaps I could … escort you to your table?" he asked, panning up to meet her eyes. They were a darker Aegean blue in the fading afternoon sunlight, but they still danced with amusement.
"Only if you'll join me. I hate to eat alone," she admitted, giving him a faux pout. Chuck felt his nervousness diminish, a return to their playful banter setting him at ease.
"As you wish," he declared. "If you'll follow me." Stepping apart, Chuck offered her his arm, which she gladly took, squeezing it tight against her. Leading her through the dining area and out onto the deck, he presented her the table he'd set up for their meal with a flourish of his free arm.
"Dinner is served." Sarah gasped at the sight, staring in awe. Chuck pulled out her chair and assisted with pushing it in when she was seated, acting like the perfect gentleman. Moving to sit down at the setting opposite her, he looked at her expectantly, biting his bottom lip. "Is… is it OK?" he asked sheepishly.
"Oh, God, Chuck. It's… it's so much better than I pictured it," she confessed, looking a bit misty-eyed. "You've got the flowers we picked out at the store, candles, the incredible view … and this food looks so amazing, Chuck. Thank you. And don't just brush me off, like you tend to do," she scolded playfully, pointing a finger at him. "I mean it. Thank you. This is one of the nicest things that anyone has ever done for me."
Chuck gave her a warm smile, nodding his understanding. "You haven't tasted the food, so don't thank me just yet, but you're very welcome. It was really my pleasure. Now, let me tell you about what the chef has prepared for you this evening," he proceeded. "We have a locally purchased ribeye, aged for fifteen minutes before being grilled to perfection -or so we hope. Accompanying it, we have grilled asparagus with vinaigrette and a baked potato, which I am assured was recently imported from Idaho." Sarah giggled at his antics but tried to stay in character, twisting her lips to the side. "Our wine selection for this evening is a lovely 2014 Pine Ridge Cabernet Sauvignon, produced in our state's own Valley of Napa," Chuck concluded in a posh accent, brandishing the bottle before pouring them both a glass.
"Wow, that's… wonderful. Idaho, you say? I love how you got the skin on the baked potato to get all crispy but not dry. And this steak… if nothing else, I give the chef an A-plus for perfect grill marks," she praised him, placing the cloth napkin in her lap and picking up her silverware. The two began to eat in silence, Sarah cutting up her baked potato to add butter and sour cream. Chuck did likewise, and while the butter melted Sarah cut into her steak.
"I hope I cooked it the way you like. Medium rare?" he asked hesitantly, watching as she sliced off a piece. She brandished it on her fork, showing him his handiwork.
"Mmmmm. Perfect. Red and juicy." Taking the bite in her mouth, she moaned as she chewed, her eyes closing as she savored it. Her euphoria was interrupted by a scraping sound on the plate followed by an "Oops". Opening her eyes in surprise, she saw that Chuck had some sort of mishap, his steak partial cut but several pieces of asparagus had gotten knocked on the table. Chuck rushed to clean it up, his cheeks and ears turning red. It didn't take much to figure out what had happened, especially given their conversation about her cheeseburger earlier in the day.
"I'm sorry if I'm distracting you. It's just a really good steak. I didn't do it on purpose… at least not this time," she smirked, giving him a wink. He chuckled at her teasing, shaking his head at himself.
"It's alright. I have a feeling that I'm never going to get over that, and I think I'm OK with it," he replied, taking a sip of wine before getting back to his meal. The two continued to eat, enjoying the food and light conversation. As the sun sank lower in the west, the reflection off of the snowy peak of the mountain and the halo of clouds gave it a pink and orange glow. They sat and casually finished the bottle of wine, just enjoying the sounds of nature and good company.
As the breeze became cool, they cleared the table and placed their dishes in the dishwasher, Chuck having already taken care of everything else. As Chuck placed the dish towel on the handle of the oven to dry, Sarah stepped up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a soft kiss. After a long moment, she broke the kiss but didn't let go. She just held him, enjoying his large hands on her sides as she stared into his eyes.
"Dinner was wonderful. Thank you again. It'll be difficult to top that."
"Well, I hate to break it to ya, but I'm kind of a one trick pony. I don't know how to cook a lot of things, and that's probably the best I can do. Except breakfast maybe. I make a mean pancake, if I do say so myself," he boasted playfully, chuckling at himself.
"Mmmm. So, is that an invitation to breakfast?" she asked, her tone dripping with innuendo. Chuck's eyes grew wide, his breath hitching. Taking pity on him, she just chuckled and pulled away, taking his hand and leading him toward the stairs.
"Where uh… where are we going?" Chuck asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.
"We're going upstairs to change into something more… comfortable," she declared, not bothering to turn around. He was thankful for that fact, so she couldn't see the fear on his face. By the time they had arrived upstairs, he had gotten better control of himself, so when she did glance back at him, he was able to offer her a smile that he hoped didn't look petrified. When they got into the bedroom, Sarah closed the door behind them, running a hand up and down his arm as she moved past him, walking to the other side of the room.
Chuck noticed that the bed had already been turned down, and his nervousness began a resurgence. He needed to buy himself some time. "I uh… I need to hop in the shower before I get into my clean PJs. Is that alright?" He asked, realizing how abruptly he'd spit that out.
"Of course. I've already had my bath. Just let me go brush my teeth and then I can change in here while you shower." He let out a sigh of relief, thankfully not loud enough that she caught it. Chuck went into the walk-in closet and pulled out a set of clothes to sleep in, spending a moment contemplating which ones might look less… 'him'. Coming to the realization that they were all just various combinations of shorts and t-shirts, it didn't make much difference. Settling on a set and grabbing his small toiletry bag, he finished just as Sarah was coming out of the bathroom.
"All yours," she beamed, giving him a kiss on the cheek as they passed one another. Chuck gave a small wave as he closed the bathroom door, rolling his eyes at himself in exasperation behind the closed door.
"You have got to pull yourself together, man," he whispered as he berated himself. He tried a hot shower at first, hoping to relax him, then a cool shower, as that seemed to be the thing people did in movies when they needed to calm their desires. Neither seemed to work, so he quickly washed up, shaved in the shower and toweled off. With the towel wrapped around his waist, he leaned his palms on the vanity, staring at himself in the mirror.
"Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe … maybe we'll just watch some TV and go to bed... But what if she doesn't want to watch TV?" He closed his eyes, blowing out a breath, trying to find his calm center. Having already been in the bathroom long enough, he quickly brushed his teeth and got dressed, hanging up his towel to dry. Double-checking himself in the mirror one last time, feeling just as disappointed as he had all the times before, he took one last cleansing breath before turning off the light and stepping into the bedroom. He averted his gaze from the bedroom, ducking into the closet to drop off his dirty clothes and giving himself one more moment to collect himself.
Stepping out into the room, all of the curtains had been drawn and the lights were out, except for the light on Sarah's nightstand. She had claimed the side closest to the bathroom, which meant that he had to walk around the room to get in on the other side. Sarah was typing something on her phone, a small smile on her face. Chuck could see that she was wearing a tank top, but the rest of her was under the covers, hiding whatever was, or wasn't, underneath. He tried not to dwell on that, as he slid under the covers on his side of the bed.
The large TV was turned on, but it was currently connected to the Chromecast, displaying a slideshow of images of things and places from around the world. Sarah mumbled something to herself and placed her phone on the nightstand, clicking off her light. She turned to look at Chuck, seeing the large amount of real estate between them.
"Hey over there. Think you could come a little closer so we're at least in the same zip code?" Chuckling at her joke, he scooted closer to her and she in turn scooted to meet him in the middle. Pressed against him, she intertwined her feet with his and leaned on her elbow, resting her head in her hand as she looked down at him. "Hi you," she whispered, giving him a warm smile.
"Hey beautiful. You uh… you all ready for bed? Or uh... you wanna watch something on TV?" he asked, the kaleidoscope of butterflies taking flight in his stomach. Her smile turned devilish as she raised an eyebrow.
"I was thinking that maybe…" she paused, running the fingers of her left hand lightly down his chest, "we could have some… dessert," she purred. She leaned her head closer to his ear, her warm breath ghosting across his neck and ear. "Would you like some… dessert, Chuck?" The way she accentuated the "K" caused a rush of hot air that sent a shiver through him, forcing him to take in a ragged breath.
"I-I um…. that uh… that…" he trailed off, desperately trying to swallow the lump in his throat, but he had a hard time mustering up the moisture in his mouth to do it. Her smile dimmed a bit, her brow furrowing slightly as she considered him.
"Is there something wrong, Chuck? You've been acting … odd tonight. Nervous. And more nervous than usual. Are you… is it… is it me? Is it something about me?" she asked, looking herself over. Chuck's eyes went wide with mortification.
'What?! No! There's… there's nothing wrong with you. You're… you're perfect," he rushed out, turning to face her.
"Then what is it? Do you… do you not want to… you know… be with me?" She averted her gaze, looking down at the covers, playing with one of the wrinkles in the fabric.
"It's not… it's not that I don't want to, it's just ... gah," he breathed out in frustration, running a hand through his hair.
"Is it something I said or did? Please. Talk to me," she pleaded, gripping the bottom of his t-shirt in her hand and tugging on it, looking him in the face again.
"I'm… I'm just really nervous and… and scared…" he trailed off, unable to look her in the eye.
"A-about what? Please, tell me." The desperation in her voice, it nearly undid him. He hated that he had caused it and it made him even more ashamed.
"I'm… I'm afraid that I… that I won't… stack up, as it were." From the confused look on her face as he glanced to see her reaction, he could tell that he needed to stop dancing around the topic. "Ok. Here goes… I've seen all your movies. In the ones where you've had…. love scenes," Chuck choked out, having a hard time saying the words, "you were with these incredibly handsome, virile, leading men. Now, I get it, that was just a movie, but with some of them, you had … relationships with them. I'm-I'm not judging you for that. It's certainly none of my business. It's just that…. it's hard enough to get past the fact that you are … who you are. I mean the notion that I could … be enough for someone like you… seems ludicrous. And then to have to compete with … I'm just afraid that … that after all we've been through so far… that I'll disappoint you, and myself." Chuck hung his head, feeling ashamed.
Sarah just stared at him, blinking, as if trying to process his rambling. Finally, he could hear her swallow, which didn't sound like the beginning of a good response. "Ok… um… Where do I uh… start?" she asked rhetorically. "Let me address these one at a time," she continued, her tone calm, though there was a slight edge to her voice. Chuck was even more afraid that he'd blown it, but he just listened intently.
"The term 'love scene' is a misnomer. Sure, between the characters, it's supposed to be this romantic, intimate exchange. But that's just it. It's only between the characters, not the actors. There was no 'love' in any of those scenes for me. We played a part and tried to make it look believable. What you don't see are the twenty people off camera that are watching you, telling you how to move and where to put your hand. It's awkward and tedious and the furthest thing from intimate or romantic that you can get. Chuck, the character you saw on that screen may love someone else, but this woman, right here with you," she emphasized, poking herself in the chest, "she loves you very much. I love you." She brushed the back of her fingers across his cheek, causing him to close his eyes as he leaned into the touch.
"To the next point… You're right. I was in a relationship with some of those men. I'm not going to discuss the nature of my relationship with them, because neither of us want to go through that. I can't take back what happened, no matter how desperately I wish I could. Just like you can't take back your prior relationships. In the end, the choices I've made, good and bad, have led me right here to you. I don't know what I can say to set your mind at ease, but know that there are a lot of reasons why I'm not with those men anymore. The things you mentioned; their looks, their… 'virility'," she scoffed, "those things don't mean shit. Pretty people are a dime a dozen in this business, and oftentimes that's all they have going for them," she chuckled, knowing all too well how true that statement was. "So please, don't ever compare yourself to them, because as far as I'm concerned, they will never compare to you. I know you may find that hard to believe, but I need you to trust me on this one. Will you do that for me, please?" Chuck searched her eyes for a moment, then quietly nodded his acquiescence.
"Thank you. Now, the last bit. I… I know that people tend to put me on some sort of pedestal. The movies and magazines make celebrities seem so much larger than life, so utterly different and removed from 'regular' people. I get it. I felt the same way about celebrities well before I became one. Just remember, I wasn't always a celebrity. And even still, when I'm not in front of the camera, I'm just… I'm just Sarah. I'm just a regular woman who … who likes to lounge on the couch in her sweatpants, eating ice cream and watching old movies. A woman who loves a man. This man," she stated, patting him on his chest. "And I want to be able to show him just how much." After her confession, she held his gaze for a long moment, hoping to see some sign that she had been able to ease his worries. His expression was indecipherable, but he still held her gaze. Swallowing thickly, she averted her gaze to his chest, where her hand still rested.
"I have to be honest that I've been kinda nervous about this… us… t-tonight," she stammered, gesturing between them and around the bed. She caught Chuck's reaction of shocked disbelief, but kept on with her admission. "It's true. I've tried to hide it by flirting and whatnot, but… I was - am- nervous. You talked about me being "who I am". Well, people tend to have these… larger than life expectations. I was worried that I might not live up to your expectations of me. That reality would be disappointing compared to the… the fantasy. Plus, being our first time together, it's kind of a big deal. At least to me it is, and I wanted it to be special… for both of us. To really be able to express what you mean to me." Sarah looked up and held his gaze, trying to glean what he was thinking, but the low light made it difficult to discern.
Slowly she leaned forward, gently capturing his lips with hers, only pulling back far enough to be able to look into his eyes again. "Chuck?" she asked with some shakiness in her voice. "Will you …" she paused to kiss him, "let me…" again she kissed him, sucking on his bottom lip slightly, "show you?" she whispered, her lips brushing against his, enticing him. There was a long pause as they held that position, almost kissing but not quite, the tension between them mounting as the seconds passed. She was beginning to worry that perhaps he still wasn't quite ready, and as disappointing as that might be, she would follow his lead.
Silently, Chuck shook his head, but didn't pull away, still maintaining their closeness. Feeling some sadness mixed with that disappointment, she just nodded minutely, closing her eyes to stave off the tears she felt burning her eyes. Then she felt his hand on her hip, slowly sliding its way up her side. Her eyes flew open, searching his face. She was surprised to see that the nervousness and anxiety were gone. In their place was love and…desire. His intense gaze bore into her, causing her to take in a ragged breath.
"Me first," was all he said before he dove into her, kissing her with a white-hot passion that Sarah had never felt before, eliciting a muffled squeal of surprise. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into him as they got lost in one another.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Who…. who are you?" she asked between gulping breaths. The man beside her, whose arm she was laying on, chuckled through his own panting.
'What?" he asked in confusion.
"I… I thought you were this… this mild-mannered… shy… reserved guy," she huffed out, her panting still heavy. "What… what the hell was that?" she questioned, giggling through her heavy breathing. Chuck just laughed, pausing to try and catch his breath.
"Holy…. Holy shit!" she exclaimed, placing her hands on her head with a thud. "I think … I think you broke me," she chuckled, sighing breathlessly. "I lit-" she paused to swallow," literally can't move."
"Is… is that in the good … or b-bad column?" he asked, still trying to get his own breathing under control. She began to laugh, sounding almost maniacal as she let out a long whimpering sigh.
"It's good… very… very good. I can say… beyond a shadow of a doubt… that was a first for me. Ok… a lot of firsts…" she corrected, giggling, her breathing starting to return to normal.
Chuck's head flopped to the side to face her, a look of bewilderment on his face. "I'm sorry. I don't follow," he conceded, sounding almost drunk from exhaustion. Sarah turned her head to look at him, a tired, dreamy expression on her face.
"Well… first, that thing ...you know… when you kissed … everywhere?" Chuck nodded, his grin growing as he recalled the event. "That… that was a first," she admitted, looking a bit sheepish.
"Seriously? Nobody ever…" he trailed off, not wanting to sound indelicate. Sarah shook her head.
"The thing about those…'handsome' guys," she said, trying to emphasize with air quotes, but her movements were slow and labored, making it look somewhat comical, "they tend to be more interested in themselves."
"Wow. That's a shame. Ok… not... not really. At least not for me. That's one of my favorite things. Err, new favorite things. Especially when you squeaked like that. That… that was interesting," he teased, earning him a lazy smack across the chest.
"Shut uuuup. Don't make fun of me. I couldn't help it. It just came out of nowhere and my body tensed up and the only sound that could come out was a squeak," she blushed, covering her face with her hands.
"I have to say, you're definitely good for my ego," he mused, turning his head to stare at the ceiling. "I'm sorry about… you know… I just… it's been over ... five years and… well..." he trailed off. Sarah seemed to find a hidden energy reserve, allowing her to flip on her side to face him, her mouth agape.
"Five years! Are you shitting me?" she asked incredulously. Chuck shook his head, looking a bit embarrassed. "Good lord. I'm almost afraid of what it'll be like in a few days after you're warmed up. Well… almost," she corrected, burying her face in his chest and barking out a laugh. She snuggled into Chuck's side, draping her leg over his and her arm across his stomach as she nuzzled her head under his chin. They lay there in comfortable silence, just enjoying the closeness. Eventually Chuck spoke up, clearing his throat, as if giving advanced warning.
"Lots of firsts?" he asked, his fingers drawing lazy circles up and down Sarah's back.
"Hmmm?" she hummed, tilting her head to look up at him in question.
"You said you had lots of firsts. Aside from … 'that', what are the other firsts?"
"Oh... Well, in the past, let's just say… if they finished first, the game was over." Chuck pondered that for a second and then he seemed to understand.
"Oh. OH… Wow. I'm sorry," he apologized, giving her a kiss on the head.
"You certainly have nothing to apologize for. I've never…. 'finished' so many times in my life. After the second one, I lost track and they all started to blend together, so I couldn't tell when one stopped and another started. Hence the whole 'you broke me' thing," she chuckled, placing a kiss on his chest. She grew quiet for a moment before she lifted her head to look at him.
"There was one other first. A very important one," she began.
"More important than me going-" she smacked his chest before he finished the sentence, earning a laugh.
"Yes, more important than that. Although… that's a close second," she giggled. "I was going to say… that it's the first time I've ever made love to someone. And let me tell you, it's so much better than I could have imagined," she confessed, laying her head down and sighing into his chest, nuzzling him more.
"That was a first for me too. I mean… I thought I had before. You know… back with…" he trailed off. "Anyway… I realized, after things with her ended, that I'd been fooling myself. I wanted it to be true, but you can't make love with someone if you don't really love one another. And while I don't have a lot to compare it to, you're right. It's so much better than anything I've ever experienced." He placed a kiss on top of her head, followed by another. "I love you, Sarah Walker," he whispered into her hair. He could feel her smile against his chest, making his own smile broaden.
A moment passed as he continued to hold her, when he felt a warm, wetness followed by a sniffle from the woman in his arms. He tried to turn his head to see her face, but he couldn't crane his neck far enough. "Baby? Are you ok? What's the matter?"
Sarah let out a wet chuckle, shaking her head but not looking up at him. "Nothing. Nothing's the matter," she reassured him, but the clear evidence of her crying told otherwise.
"I kind of expected there to be crying afterward, but I figured it would be me," he joked (mostly), trying to use humor to get her to open up to him. She let out a "tsk" and smacked him on the stomach, giggling through her sniffles. Lifting her head up, she then raised herself up on her elbow to look down at him.
"I'm not sad. Just the opposite. It's just the … the magnitude of it all hit me. It's a little emotionally overwhelming is all. It's so crazy. Looking at it from the outside, it's insane, right? We've known each other for all of what, two weeks maybe? And only four days ago we went on our first date. And yet here I am, basking in the blinding afterglow of the most amazing sex I've ever had, with a man that I love, and who loves me in return. 'Sarah' two weeks ago would've laughed at you if you'd told her this story. If she could've only known then how incredibly happy one 'Chuck Bartowski' would make her, she'd have dragged you out of that garden and taken you home right then and there; show be damned." They both chuckled at the thought, Chuck easily envisioning that scenario.
"You want to talk about insane? Quite literally, the woman of my dreams is lying here with me, naked," he smirked, stealing a glance at her body before coming back to meet her gaze, "looking down at me with her intoxicating, blue eyes, telling me how much she loves me. Even in my wildest fantasy, I wouldn't have believed it. But best of all, the woman of my dreams," he paused, caressing her cheek with his thumb, wiping away a stray tear, "she's even more amazing than I thought possible. As if your beauty wasn't enough, you're also brilliant, kind, funny and passionate. The more I learn about you, the deeper in love with you I fall. God, I love you," he whispered, lifting up to press his lips to hers.
Humming in contentment, they kissed softly for a long moment before Sarah pushed him back down on the bed, swinging her leg over him to straddle his hips. Chuck's eyes grew wide in surprise as Sarah laid down on top of him, their faces mere inches apart.
"You know, you're pretty amazing yourself. And that was before you cooked me dinner. Oh, and that other thing too," she grinned devilishly, rubbing her nose against his. "You can feel free to show me that again, any time you want. But…" she trailed off, kissing him lightly, "I think it's my turn to show you some things, Mr. Bartowski." Rocking her hips against him, Chuck let out a ragged breath, his eyes rolled back into his head and his mouth hung slightly agape. Sarah slowly peppered kisses along his jawline toward his ear and down his neck, causing him to let out a strangled groan in pleasure. Sarah hummed in amusement as she continued her exploration.
A/N2: Oh, my! Let's leave the happy couple to their own devices for the time being. We'll come back when they're decent. From the sounds of things, that may be while.
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Joe