Thanks for the brilliant lot of reviews for the last chapter, I'm so happy you all liked it! This is part 2 of it I suppose as it carries on right from where that one left off. The title of this chapter is taken from a song by Adele which I was listening to when I wrote it so if you get the chance, try and do the same when you're reading it as it really sets the tone for what happens in it. Enjoy reading and don't forget to review! :)
Allie sighed deeply as she adjusted her hands on the wheel, taking the turning towards Greenwich and clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth as Matt sat in the passenger seat of the Porsche drumming his fingers on the leather seat. Neither of them had really spoken since they'd gotten into the car, but then given how fast she was driving, Matt was probably just scared of talking in case it put her off.
"So what were you going to do exactly?" she broke the silence forcefully, seeing him turn to face her out of the corner of her eye.
"About what?" he frowned.
"About Shannon!" she cried. "What'd you think? I mean, were you just going to pretend you had no idea forever or would you have eventually put your hand up and admitted you were a fucking lair?"
"I'm protecting my sister," he snapped. "And if I have to lie to do that, then so be it,"
"Yeah, well your little white lie has the potential to destroy a man's life," she shot back. "Steve loves Shannon more than anything and losing her, not to mention Ben is probably enough to kill him right now,"
"Don't say that," Matt told her, shaking his head.
"Why?" she snorted. "Feeling guilty?"
Digging her phone out of her pocket, she threw it at him, noticing he just about caught it before it fell to the floor.
"Call her and tell her you need to see her," she ordered.
"Allie," he laughed. "Come on, this is ridiculous, I'm not going to sell out my sister,"
"But you'll screw the rest of us over, no questions asked?" she raised an eyebrow. "I'm not asking you, Matt." She shook her head. "Make the God damn call,"
Sighing and knowing when to accept defeat, he flipped the small phone open and dialled Shannon's number, waiting for it to ring and praying she didn't pick up.
"Hello?"
Closing his eyes and sighing deeply, he silently cursed whatever God was up there for blantantly ignoring his prayers like that.
"Shan, it's Matt," he told her reluctantly.
"Matt," she breathed, the relief in her voice making him feel even worse. "Are you ok? Where are you?"
"I'm, uh," he bit his lip. "I've decided I want to come with you after all," he told her. "So I figured if you told me where you were then…"
"Oh Matt, are you serious?" she asked excitedly. "This is so great, Dad's going to be so happy to have the three of us home. You, me and Ben, we're all gonna be fine,"
"Yeah." Matt told her, nodding and ignoring the sick feeling in his chest. "We are. Just tell me where you are,"
Scrawling it down on the notepad he found in Allie's glove box, Matt soon hung up the phone and stared at it.
"She's in the Hilton Hotel waiting for her flight," he muttered. "Room 837,"
Allie nodded and then cleared her throat slightly.
"What did you mean, 'after all'?" she asked him.
"What?" he frowned.
"You said to Shannon that you'd decided to go with her after all," she shrugged. "What did that mean?"
"She asked me to go back with her," Matt confessed. "To go back to Boston forget we were ever here and just get on with our lives, but I couldn't," he shrugged and looked out the window. "There's too much here for me now,"
Feeling guilty for subjecting him to all of his for the first time since they'd left, Allie reached out with her left hand and gently took his, squeezing it.
"I'm sorry, Matt," she told him, not even sure what it was she was saying sorry for.
He didn't say anything back to her anyway, instead he just kept staring out of the window and holding onto her hand like it was the only lifeline he had left.
"Fuck, it's still engaged!"
Dave and the boys watched helplessly as Steve slammed his phone down onto the kitchen counter and continued pacing the room; he'd become even paler since Matt and Allie had left an hour ago and granted none of the boys held a PhD, even they were certain that this wasn't doing him any good.
"Why isn't she picking up her phone?" he shouted at no one in particular.
"Steve, they only left what…" Dave turned and looked at the huge old fashioned clock on the wall. "50 minutes ago, they're probably still driving and Allie's not gonna pick up 'er phone if she's doing that, is she?"
Swill's phone started ringing and Steve's head snapped round to face him watching intently as the young man scrambled to pull it out of his pocket, staring down at the screen before casting a worried glance around the room.
"Its Bovver," he told them.
"What the fuck is he doin' ringing you, eh?" Steve snapped. "Hasn't he done enough damage?"
"He's sorry, Steve," Ike shook his head. "I know he was a cunt but he didn't…."
"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence," Steve laughed bitterly. "How could he not 'ave meant it, Ike? He went out of his way to fuck this Firm over, why can't you see that? All of this started with him and it could 'ave buried us all,"
The boys sat there in silence, partly because they knew he was right and partly because they knew there was absolutely nothing they could say to him right now that wouldn't piss him off even more.
Muttering something along the lines of 'fuck this' under his breath, the older Dunham brother shoved himself up from the counter and strolled out into the large foyer of the house, coming to a stop by one of the small windows either side of the front door. Staring out at the rapidly darkening sky, the threat of a storm still hanging in the air, he sighed and leant his head against the coolness of the glass pulling back when he heard the door to Pete's bedroom crack open and a worried looking blonde flew out of it, diving towards the bag at his feet.
"Can I 'elp you?" Steve frowned down at her.
"Oh, sorry," she shook her head. "I'm Gemma Deacon, I'm Pete's physiotherapist." She cocked her head and looked at him closely. "I'm guessing you're Steve?"
"Yeah," he stuck his hand out, figuring he should at least try and act polite. "Sorry for being…" he shook his head. "So how's he getting on?"
Casting a glance back to the door and wincing slightly, Gemma pushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes and sighed.
"He's struggling if I'm honest," she smiled sadly. "You're his brother, you probably know better than anyone how good he can be at pretending everything's fine,"
Steve nodded in agreement even though he wasn't all that sure; in the past few years since Shannon and then Ben had come into his life he'd lost contact with his brother. Sure, they still saw each other every other day but the real closeness they had once shared was long gone.
"How long is he looking at?" Steve asked her, clearing his throat which had begun to sting; he noticed her eyes darting towards the scar, but she didn't say anything. "Y'know, recovery wise?"
"He's determined to be walking by next month," she laughed. "I've told him its possible but it'll require a lot of work on his part,"
"He not doing what he's supposed to or something?" Steve smirked.
"No, completely the opposite," Gemma smiled. "Half the time he's already three steps ahead of me, I'm just worried about the pain factor. I've upped his dosage even though he's adamant he doesn't need it, just in case,"
Bending down, she pulled a rolled up matt out of her bag and tucked it under her arm, her deep brown eyes meeting his.
"He's lucky y'know?" she nodded. "I've looked through his file, it's a miracle he survived at all but he could have easily lost his leg the state it was in,"
"Fuck," Steve whispered, shaking his head and staring out of the window once again. Jesus, how did they all get this fucked up?
"He'll be ok," she told him, placing an uncertain hand on his shoulder. "He's got enough people around him to help out, so he'll get there," she shrugged. "Its just gonna take time,"
Steve nodded silently and let out a deep sigh.
"Right," Gemma raised her eyebrows. "I should get back in there before he gets restless and tries to go for a jog or something,"
Steve's mouth lifted slightly at the corner but he couldn't force himself into a full out smile. He watched as she looked at him one last time almost as though checking he was ok before jogging back towards the room with her matt and letting the door close behind her, distancing him from his brother that little bit more.
"Hey, hey, hey," Shannon bent down to Ben's level where he was sat in his buggy and picked up his hand, shushing him. "What's all this for, huh, buddy?" she wiped his eyes gently. "It'll be ok, we're just waiting for Uncle Matt and then we can get on our plane, ok?"
He didn't answer her, just kicked his podgy legs and cried harder, the harsh sound echoing through the hotel room and making it seem smaller. Perching on the edge of the bed whilst still holding her sons hand, Shannon glanced down at the bare skin where her wedding bang used to be and felt her throat tighten.
You're doing the right thing, she told herself firmly.
Using the heel of her palm to try and keep the tears inside, she jumped when there was a knock on the door and knew it must be Matt.
"Who's this then?" She asked Ben with a watery smile, standing up, she quickly crossed the room to the large mirror and fixed her make up, taking a deep breath and moving over to the door.
"God, I'm so glad you're…" Pulled the door open and trailed off, her eyes widening as she met the green eyes she knew so well. Feeling the sweat pooling in her palms as she gripped the door as hard as she could looking back and forth between her brother and Allie.
"You bastard," she whispered harshly, looking directly at her brother.
"Shannon, please," Matt begged, slamming his hand against the door when she tried to shut it. "It's not how it looks,"
"I can't believe you did this to me," she shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Can we come in?" Allie asked her evenly.
"No," she snapped. "I don't need this right now, ok?"
"Sorry," Allie shrugged. "I'd offer to come back later but we both know you'll be half way across the Atlantic by then, won't you?"
"You know something?" Shannon cried. "Of all people, I expected you to understand this, Allie."
"Me?" the blonde scoffed.
"You were there the night Steve got stabbed," she explained, her words falling over one another. "You've lived through this with Pete…I mean are you that naïve that you think this is the end of it? You might be able to put up with this bullshit, but I can't."
"What bullshit?" Allie laughed bitterly. "You mean your marriage? Shannon, you can't just walk away from him for no good reason,"
"No good reason?" Shannon shouted. "He promised me that all this was behind him and then he threw it back in my face."
"Have you stopped even just for a second and thought about this from Steve's point of view?" she narrowed her eyes. "If he hadn't been there that night, your brother and my boyfriend would be dead," she spat. "Does that mean nothing to you? Are you that fucking self-centred that all you can think about is how it affects you?"
"You know what, Allie?" the older woman laughed and shook her head. "I really don't need to hear this right now,"
"Yes, you do!" she shouted back. "Look at what you're doing for fuck sake! Your husbands just got out of hospital and where are you? In a hotel with your son who you're apparently more than willing to let grow up without knowing his father, ready to catch a flight to somewhere half way across the world! That's not normal, Shannon."
"Normal," the American repeated. "How does any of this constitute as normal? Pete and Steve can fuck their lives up all they want, but they are not taking me, my son and my brother down with them,"
"You really are a piece of work, d'you know that?" Allie laughed. "You're talking about your own family,"
"Why are you making excuses for them?" Shannon asked. "Is Pete really worth all of this? Have you become that fucking co-dependant on him that you're willing to put up with this for the rest of your life just so you don't have to worry about going out and meeting someone else?"
"There is no one else," Allie snarled at her. "Not that I'd expect you to understand what its like to actually love someone, you heartless bitch,"
Matt actually jumped behind her, having never heard Allie talk like that to someone before.
"Love?" Shannon raised an eyebrow and snorted at her. "Oh grow the fuck up, Allie. What are you going to tell me next? That love is all I need and the rest doesn't matter?"
"No," the blonde shook her head. "Contrary to what you think I'm not that much of a mug. All I'm trying to say to you is that if you had once ounce of decency in you, if you cared even the tiniest bit about your son, then you wouldn't be getting on that plane."
"It's because I care about Ben that he's coming with me," she screamed. "You think I want to leave him here with the likes of Pete?"
"What is your problem with him?" Allie narrowed her eyes. "Why do you place the blame on him for everything that goes wrong? In case you hadn't noticed, he almost died trying to-…"
"Trying to go after the man who hurt Steve like some pathetic child in a playground," Shannon finished for her, looking her up and down. "I actually feel sorry for you," she told her. "Because one day, probably not to far from now when you're sat at home with your own child wondering where Pete is and if he's going to get home alive, you'll look back on this and realise that the biggest fucking mistake of your life wasn't letting me go," she smiled. "It was not begging to come with me,"
Turning back to Ben, she picked up him and started rocking him to stop him fussing. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, she saw that it was only an hour now until her flight.
"I have to get moving," she told them, picking up one of Ben's beakers from the bed and chucking it into his baby bag.
"No, you don't," Allie begged her. "Shannon just give it a little longer, ok? Just talk to Steve and-…"
"I've made my decision," she interrupted firmly. "I haven't spoken to a lawyer yet but if that's the road Steve wants to take then give him this number," she held out her attorney's business card and Allie just stared at it so she sighed and placed it on the bed.
"You're not really coming, are you?"
Matt looked up at his sister, clearing his throat and preparing to talk to her for the first time since she'd opened the door.
"No," he told her simply. "I'm sorry, Shan."
"For what?" she laughed lightly. "Letting me down or screwing me over?"
He hung his head, staring down at his muddy trainers and getting lost in the dark blue carpet underneath them.
"He didn't do anything wrong," Allie shook her head.
"No one's innocent here, Allie," Shannon told her. "Not me, not you, not Matt and certainly not Pete and Steve," she slung her bag over her shoulder and bent down, placing Ben back in his buggy. "They made this mess and I'm not willing to stay here and watch them dig themselves deeper,"
"But you love him," Allie told her. "Doesn't that mean anything?"
Shannon stood back up and looked at the young blonde, meeting her shimmering green eyes head on and smiling sympathetically at her.
"No," she told her simply. "Right now, it doesn't mean anything,"
Grabbing the last of her belongings, Shannon noticed that both of them were staring at her pleadingly. Stepping around them she stopped by her brother for a second and looked up into his watery eyes, giving him the coldest look she could muster and then carrying on out of the room, letting the door slam behind her. Allie winced as the noise echoed around her, standing there in silence for a moment before she saw Matt cross the room and sit down on the edge of the bed, letting his head fall into his hands as he started sobbing. Feeling slightly numb, she walked over and sat beside him, placing a comforting hand on his back as she stared at the door, waiting for Shannon to walk back through it, realising that this wasn't what she wanted after all.
She didn't.
Pete hissed loudly, removing the pillow from under his leg as Gemma went about packing up all her stuff and shoving it into the gym bag shed brought with her.
"Hey," she jerked her head towards him. "You ok there?"
"Yeah," he nodded, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Sweet as a fucking nut,"
"Liar," she smiled, walking back over to the bed and shoving his hands out of the way, doing it for him. He lay back with a grateful smile on his face and watched her work, her long fingers gently tightening the bandage. "So I met you're brother,"
"Yeah?" Pete raised an eyebrow. "Sorry about that,"
"Shut up," she waved him off, laughing. "He's a little quiet isn't he?"
"Nah," Pete shook his head. "Steve's usually a lot more…chatty," he shrugged. "He's just got a lot of shit going on at the moment,"
"Oh," Gemma nodded. That would explain the practically arctic atmosphere in the usually warm and inviting house. "Right, well, we're done for today," she smiled and patted the bed. "Don't forget, the new pain killers you're on are a much higher dosage so only take one ok? Even if the pain is beyond human imagination, you do not take more than one, are we clear?"
"Crystal?" Pete smirked, lifting the small bottle and shaking it. "So they're that good, eh?"
"Trust me," she pointed at him. "One of those and someone could take a sledgehammer to that knee without you feeling it,"
"Fuck, don't let the lads hear you say that, they'll take it as a challenge," he told her, making her laugh again.
"Ok, so same time tomorrow," she nodded at him. "Tell Allie I said bye," she stopped suddenly, frowning and dropping her back pack down. "That reminds me," she muttered, digging through it. "Ah-ha!" she cried, standing up and blowing a wisp of hair out of her face as she brandished a small white box at him. Handing it to him, she watched as he frowned.
"It's camomile tea," she told him. "My older sister used to get really bad morning sickness until she started drinking this," she tapped the box. "She swears by it, so I thought Allie might appreciate it,"
"You've heard about it, too?" Pete laughed.
"Heard about it?" Gemma snorted. "The other morning I had the pleasure of seeing it. Your girlfriend sure can puke,"
"I trained her well," Pete smiled, shaking the box. "Cheers for this though, she'll love it,"
"You're welcome," Gemma winked. "I actually am leaving this time," she rolled her eyes. "My next appointment is in 20 minutes but he's not half as much fun as you are,"
"Bet he's not as fit either," Pete grinned.
"Usually I'd come up with something scathing but given he's a 76 year old with a hip replacement, I'll let you have that one," she grinned when he laughed. "See ya later, Pete,"
"Bye, mate!" he called, opening the box of tea and smelling it warily. "Fuck me," he whispered, grimacing.
"Camomile?" Steve asked him, strolling into the room and sitting down on the chair next to the bureau.
"Yeah," Pete nodded, partly wondering why his brother was suddenly so willing to talk to him after a week of silence.
"Shannon used it with Ben," he nodded. "It smells like piss but it works a treat,"
"I'm sure if I sell it to Allie like that I'll 'ave no worries getting her drink it everyday," he snorted.
"Are you worried about it?" Steve asked him, leaning his elbows on his knees.
"About…" Pete shook his head.
"Being a dad," he clarified.
Pete sat in silence for a moment; was he worried about being a dad? About having this little thing to care for, to love and protect. Yeah, he was fucking petrified, but that didn't make it any less exciting or amazing.
"Given out childhood, you mean?" Pete snorted. "Nah, I'm really looking forward to it, plus we'll probably 'ave more so it doesn't matter if I fuck up the first one, does it?"
Steve laughed for the first time in what felt like weeks and it caused his neck to twinge slightly but it was worth it. Looking at his brother, he focused his eyes on the damaged knee and winced at how sore it looked.
"Good thing you've got a nine month wait, eh?" he nodded. "Otherwise good luck looking after a kid in that state."
Pete chuckled and saw from the clock that it was time for him to take his next pill, pulling one out of the bottle, he blinked at the size of it and then chucked it back, gulping down his bottle of water with it.
"Why'd you do it, Pete?" Steve asked him quietly.
"Do what?" he winced, swallowing the last of the water and tossing the now empty bottle onto the bed next to him.
"Go after Hatcher," Steve shrugged. "Risk your life?"
"Because you're my brother," he told him as though it was the simplest fact in the world. "And he hurt you,"
"You almost died, mate," he stressed. "Look at the state of you now, if something 'ad 'appened to you, it would 'ave been my fucking fault," he shook his head and stood up, lacing his hands behind his head. "I never should 'ave gotten you involved in this shit in the first place,"
"Oh come on, Steve," Pete shook his head. "I was hardly a fucking toddler when I took this on, was I? I knew what I was doing,"
"No, you didn't!" Steve laughed. "You 'ad no fucking idea what it meant to lead a firm and I left you like a fucking lamb to the slaughter to figure it out on your own,"
"I didn't do too badly, did I?" Pete shrugged. "The GSE is-…"
"The GSE is bullshit!" Steve snapped. "It means nothing! Not at times like this anyway…not when I've lost my family, not when you're lying there unable to fucking move, not when I had to watch Mum cry her fucking eyes out over what had 'appened to you and me,"
"Steve, calm down, alright?" Pete shook his head. "We're fine now, ain't that the main thing?"
"We're not fine, Pete," Steve frowned. "I'm not fine,"
"Then fucking talk to me, bruv," Pete laughed. "But I can't do shit if you don't tell me what's wrong, I get that your worried about Shannon-…"
"It's not just about her, Pete," Steve shook his head. "It's about you."
"Me?" he snorted. "Mate, I told you, I'm fine,"
"No you're not," he shot back. "You never were and I just…"
Stalking around the room, his hands still laced behind his head, the older Dunham tried hard to get his breathing under control, but he couldn't, his lungs felt like they were made of paper as they fought to take in as much air as they could without tearing.
"I used to see dad beating the absolute shit out of you and I wouldn't say a word," he gulped, noticing the darkness in Pete's eyes. "I'd watch you out of the corner of my eye when you'd stumble upstairs, blood all over you, trying not to cry. Then when you were at Uni, a part of me hated you for it, even though you'd worked hard and you'd done it all yourself, a part of me…a really sick part of me wanted you to fail. Because all I was ever good for in our family was looking like the big man and making sure everyone watched while I cleared up your messes," he laughed bitterly. "But suddenly, you 'ad your head screwed on and you didn't need me anymore. See I always knew you were smart as fuck and its because I knew that that I should 'ave stopped you taking on the GSE when I stepped down,"
"That don't mean nothing," Pete shook his head, ignoring the tears stinging his eyes. "It's all in the past, mate,"
"I'm your big brother," he shook his head. "I should 'ave protected you from all of that. I should 'ave been there for you and I wasn't," he looked up at Pete, feeling tears stream down his face. "Mate, I'm so sorry,"
Sitting down on the window seat which overlooked the pool, Steve cried silently trying to figure out how the hell his life had gotten this fucked up. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he missed the sound of Pete's crutches clanking on the floor until he was right there next to him, his bright blue eyes boring down into him.
"Budge up you bastard," he laughed. "Or are ya gonna keep a cripple waiting?"
Frowning, Steve shuffled along the small, cushioned bench and allowed him to sit down, his eyes widening when as soon as he did, Pete pulled him into a tight, brotherly hug.
"It's not your fault, mate," he shook his head as Steve cried into his shoulder. "I don't blame you for none of it because it's not your fault."
They stayed like that for a long time, both of them holding on for dear life, wanting to feel that everything was going to be alright, even if it was just for a second.
Clapping his brother on the back, Pete stared out of the large bay window at the hammock he and Allie had been sitting in only a few hours ago, not caring about anything. It swayed gently in the wind and then a clap of thunder rolled menacingly through the blackening heavens.
He'd warned her that a storm was coming.
So, there it is...love it? Hate it? Let me know... :)