"Honey," she choked out, "that was Kagami. Shisui is dead."
-8-8-8-
MIKOTO'S VOICE WAS LIKE A SCALE, and every syllable that dropped from her tongue was a weight, and every word a package of weights. Of the words Itachi's brain processed, "honey" was the lightest weight; "Kagami" heavier than that. Some scales, however, can only handle so much weight. It would be illogical to weigh an elephant using a kitchen scale, as it would be crushed under the pressure.
Just like Itachi's heart when his mother uttered one of the heaviest words in the English language, "dead."
"What?" Itachi asked. Shock coursed through his veins like a bloodhound hot on the trail of a rabbit. Shisui is dead.
Tears spilled over from the rims of his mother's eyes. She nodded, the only response she could muster to his question.
Shisui is dead. "No. He…he can't be." Itachi whispered. He was drunk.
"Kagami just called from the hospital after he and Megumi ID'd Shisui's body." She sniffled. "He's gone, honey."
Itachi shook his head. "No, he can't be." He told me not to worry. He promised that everything would be fine.
Mikoto forced a small smile and leaned against the doorframe to his bedroom.
Shisui is dead. He was definitely drunk. "How."
"I'm sorry?"
"How?" He reiterated. Alcohol poisoning. Fatal bar fight. Vehicular manslaughter. Driving under the influence. The list was endless and Itachi wanted to know which one was responsible for the death of his cousin.
Mikoto blinked a few times before realizing what Itachi meant by that. "He was killed in a car accident, sweetheart."
"Was he drunk?"
"I don't think so." Mikoto shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes with the heel of her palm. "What makes you think that?"
His eyes burned with the promise of tears, and his throat constricted with the threat of suffocation. "He said that he was going to a party." He spoke and took a deep breath to steady his breathing. "Tonight. He said that there would be alcohol and that he would be drinking."
"What's this about drinking?" Fugaku asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway of the bedroom.
Mikoto turned to face her husband. "Did Kagami say anything else?" She asked.
Fugaku averted his gaze and pursed his lips, a gesture that indicated that he was uncomfortable discussing the topic at hand. "He was involved in a two car collision on the highway and was pronounced dead at the scene." He said. "And what's this nonsense about drinking?"
This time, Mikoto averted her gaze. "Oh. Itachi had asked if Shisui was drinking. Apparently he was planning to go to some sort of party, I—"
"Party? What party?"
This time it was Itachi's turn to speak. "The other day he mentioned that he was planning to attend a party tonight where there would be alcoholic beverages."
Fugaku grunted. "Well if that's the case, he didn't make it very far."
"What do you mean?" Mikoto asked.
"When the first responders found Shisui's car, he was heading northbound and was killed by a car that veered off into the median and into the other lane, colliding head on with Shisui and killing him instantly. In other words, Shisui wasn't drunk at the time of his death."
-8-8-8-
In the time since the start of winter break, Deidara had probably started and finished at least a hundred art projects by now; twenty since the start of the new year. Itachi could only begin to imagine the sorts of crazy ideas the artist had embarked on in that span of time – drawings, paintings, sketches, miniature sculptures, ornaments carved with detailed pictures illuminated by tiny lights inside. The possibilities were endless, infinite.
Kisame was maybe swimming perhaps? But in the dead of winter? Seeing as he was an athlete, he probably found an indoor facility with an Olympic sized swimming pool where he practiced his form.
And that guy that Deidara had a thing for last year had probably posted at least a dozen pictures of himself making out with other men by now for his jealous girlfriend to see.
Meanwhile, Itachi had quarantined himself to the comfort of his bedroom, effectively exiling himself from the rest of his family.
Just then, a knock at the door came, rousing him from his thoughts.
"Sweetheart?" His mother's sweet voice asked from behind the door. "Are you in there?"
Scratch that—ineffectively exiling himself from the rest of his family. After a moment of internal debate, Itachi decided not to answer and pretend that he wasn't present, hoping that that would send his mother away and leave him alone with his thoughts.
Apparently, that method only worked with Sasuke when he was younger as Mikoto allowed herself to come in anyways. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "You are in here! Didn't you hear me ask if you were or not?"
Itachi didn't move. Perhaps if he stayed completely still, she would get the message then.
"You didn't come down for breakfast." She said, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. "I made zucchini frittatas. I made Sasuke leave some for you in case you wanted any later." She took a strand of her son's long hair and pushed it behind his ear and proceeded to stroke his long, soot colored locks.
Normally, Itachi found the gesture comforting, but at this very moment, he found it to be very annoying and lifted his hand to dislodge her fingers from his hair. "I'm not hungry."
He could practically hear his mother frowning. "At least come downstairs, honey. I know these past few weeks have been hard on you, but you're not alone. Your father and brother are downstairs if you need them, and if you want, I'll always be willing to lend you a listening ear." She said. When Itachi didn't grace her with a response, she continued. "Will you please come downstairs? Spring semester starts in a couple of weeks, and we've barely seen you since Christmas."
"Fine." Itachi murmured and pushed himself up and out of his bed using first his forearms, and then his hands. If it'll keep you from pestering me about this any longer…
"That's the spirit!" Mikoto praised and engulfed him in a tight embrace.
Fugaku Uchiha commonly sat in the kitchen when he wasn't working and was present when Itachi appeared in the doorway in search of his mother's leftover frittata. "I was wondering when you would come down." He said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Your mother saved you some breakfast from this morning."
"I know." Itachi answered. There was no sign of frittata on the countertop which meant that his mother had placed it in the fridge for later.
Fugaku closed his eyes and nodded. "Right. She probably told you that when she was upstairs." He muttered to himself.
As he thought, the dish sat on the top shelf and was covered in saran wrap. Itachi carefully pulled it out and closed the refrigerator door with his elbow.
"School's starting back up soon." Fugaku said. "Are you prepared for the second semester?"
"I've already cleaned out all of my folders, ordered my books, and downloaded a copy of my class schedule." He replied.
"Good." He imagined his father nodding in approval as he skimmed over the morning paper. "You've always been physically well-prepared for things like this, but my concern is if you're emotionally prepared for the challenges of returning back to school."
Itachi froze and pursed his lips. He remained silent for a few moments before pressing the "START" button on the microwave and sighed. "Yes, dad. I'm prepared."
"You know they sent out an e-mail, right?"
How long did it take for a university to publically announce the death of a student? Itachi remembered wondering a few days after the evening of the homecoming dance. It took a couple of weeks, Itachi learned. The school would publically announce the death of a student with the consent of the family, which could take anywhere from a few days to a month, or never if the family wanted. In Shisui's case, it took a little over a week for him to receive an e-mail message over his phone one afternoon stating the university's remorse following the death of a fellow student, Shisui Uchiha, who died in a car accident late on New Year's Eve. "I saw it."
"Will you be able to handle the entire school knowing about it and potentially asking you questions about what happened to him?"
"By then, it will have been over a month since Shisui's passing. I'm sure they'll forget by then. Most people probably don't even know that we're related."
"Your professors might. Or that roommate of yours."
"Then I'll tell them the truth."
"The truth being…?" Fugaku prodded, glancing at him from over the edge of his reading glasses.
Itachi pushed the button to open the microwave and grabbed his breakfast. "That he died in a car accident." He answered breezily.
Just then, Sasuke appeared at the doorway and took a step back when he saw Itachi standing by the counter. "I see you decided to rejoin the realm of the living."
Slamming the drawer that contained the silverware in it, Itachi stalked past his father and brother, his frittata long forgotten.
"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" Mikoto asked him on the stairs. She was holding a basket of laundry in her hands.
"I'm going out." Itachi muttered through gritted teeth.
"Where?" She asked, turning around as he passed her. "Did something happen?"
But Itachi didn't answer her and kept walking, intent on getting in his car and driving away from here. Away from his family, away from his problems, and away from everything.
'I'm sorry!' Sasuke's text message read. Itachi sighed and put it away when he heard the door before him being unlocked from inside to reveal a familiar face.
-8-8-8-
"I can't believe that you actually showed up, yeah!" Deidara grinned when he opened the door. "I didn't think you were going to even consider it! Come in!" He said, gesturing for his roommate to follow him inside.
"Are you sure your cousin's alright with inviting me over? I know it's short notice and I don't want to intrude." Itachi mumbled, burrowing his hands in the pockets of his jacket in an effort to warm them up.
Deidara dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand and replied "Nah, Kurotsuchi loves it when I bring friends over. It lets her know that I lead a healthy social life."
Itachi smiled.
"Plus, she'll probably be too busy with Akatsuchi the whole time."
"Who's Akatsuchi?" Itachi asked.
"Her boyfriend."
If Itachi didn't feel intrusive on the drive here, he certainly felt intrusive now. "Deidara, if I'm intruding, don't hesitate to ask me to leave." Itachi said.
"You're?" A feminine voice asked from a doorway down the hall. "But you just got here!"
So this is the cousin Deidara speaks so fondly of. Itachi thought. Kurotsuchi was tall and slim with large brown eyes and short black hair that cupped her jaw. Behind her, appeared the man Itachi assumed to be Akatsuchi, who was at least three times Kurotsuchi's size and could act as one of those oversized beanbags if he wanted to. Everything was huge from his thighs to his feet, to his forearms to his hands. The only feature that wasn't proportioned to the rest of his body were his eyes, which were accented by his large nose.
"Akatsuchi, this is Dei's roommate…" Kurotsuchi started and snapped her fingers in an effort to remember his name.
"Itachi."
"Yes!" She exclaimed, pointing her finger in the air in a genuine eureka moment. "This is Dei's roommate, Itachi."
Akatsuki raised his hand. "Hi." He said.
"Nice to meet the both of you." Itachi said, returning the gesture with a small wave of his own.
"It must be hard living with Dei, isn't it? It's sort of become my second full-time job if you know what I mean!"
"Oh shut up Kurotsuchi!" Deidara playfully snapped. "You're embarrassing me!"
Kurotsuchi offered Deidara a slanted smile. "Whatever, DeiDei."
Deidara groaned and gestured to the staircase behind him. "Wanna go somewhere more private?" He asked.
More private? To do what? "Sure. If that's okay."
"Did you hear that, Akatsuchi? He asked if it was okay to go upstairs! He is such a gentlemen! Deidara, you are lucky to have this young man as a roommate!" Kurotsuchi gushed, holding onto Akatsuchi's thick bicep. "Our home is your home! Don't hesitate to make yourself comfy and don't do anything I wouldn't do up there, you hear me?"
By then, Deidara was already halfway up the stairs. "Loud and clear, cuz." Deidara answered back. "Cousins are just as embarrassing as parents are sometimes!" He laughed.
Itachi only just realized that he had only once heard Deidara mention anything about his parents, and that was on the day they moved in to their shared dorm room. Every other time, it was his cousin he mentioned. "Deidara?"
"Yeah?"
"If you don't mind me asking, do you live here or with your parents?"
Deidara paused at the top of the stairs, leading Itachi to think he had said something wrong and nodded in the direction of the door on his right. "I don't mind at all, but it's kinda a long story, yeah. I'll tell you inside."
"If it's something that you're uncomfortable with, you don't have to tell me." Itachi said once
Deidara shook his head and opened the door. "It's fine."
The first thing Itachi registered about Deidara's room was that there was little to no visible carpet under the blanket of clothing. Upon closer examination, there were pens, notebooks, sketchbooks, and books of all shapes, sizes and genres scattered among the discarded clothing.
"Sorry about the mess, yeah. I didn't really have time to clean up before you got here." Deidara said.
"How do you even manage to move around without stepping on something?" He asked, looking for some sort of foothold.
"Tread carefully." Deidara said and skillfully tiptoed from the door to the bed where he sat down with such force that his legs flew upwards from the impact. "Don't be shy, yeah. If you step on something, you step on something. No big deal."
When they were young, Sasuke's favorite game was one where he and Itachi would hop from pillow to pillow scattered around the living room, the goal being not to fall into the "lava" beneath them and brought a small smile to Itachi's face as he engaged in a more intricate form of the game almost a decade later.
"The reason I don't live with my parents is because they kicked me out last year when I came out that I was gay, yeah." Deidara said in response to Itachi's earlier question.
Itachi, who had just made it to where Deidara was sitting on the bed, looked at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to say or do in the face of such a heavy admission. In the end, "Why?" was the only question he could think to ask as he felt around for the top of the bed, unable to take his eyes away from Deidara.
"Why did they kick me out? Or why did I tell them?" Deidara asked. When Itachi faltered for an answer, he smiled and bowed his head. "That's okay they kinda go hand in hand, yeah." He said. ""Well, long short, I was tired of the fact that I was hiding who I really was from them and didn't want to live like that any longer. I knew my parents were sorta homophobic, and for that reason, I kept it a secret once I realized that I was gay but after a while I thought 'They're my parents; they'll still love me whether I'm straight, gay, bi, trans, right, yeah?'" He sighed. "Yeah, well, they freaked out. My mom started crying and my dad started yelling 'this is not how we raised you!' and told me that I had a day to pack my bags and leave, yeah." He said with a bitter smile.
That was probably how his own parents would react if Itachi told them something like that but to kick out their underage child on that basis seemed completely irrational and unnecessary.
Deidara took a deep breath and continued. "I was furious with them, but also upset at the same time and locked myself away in my room for the rest of the night thinking that tomorrow morning, things would be back to the way they used to be and we'd all pretend that nothing ever happened, yeah."
His verbal tic was more pronounced, Itachi noticed, a sign that Deidara was uncomfortable talking about the matter but Itachi didn't say anything and simply listened to him continue.
"But they were adamant like, 'This is not the way we raised you so if you want to pursue a sexually deviant lifestyle, do it under somebody else's roof, not mine!' he yelled, and I told him 'fine! I'll leave!' and he was like 'good luck finding somebody who will take you in!' and I was like 'I'm going to move in with Kurotsuchi!' yeah. Kurotsuchi was the only person I could think to call because she knew that I was gay and she was okay with it, yeah. She had just landed her dream job and wasn't very thrilled when I called to tell her that I wanted to move in with her because her house was small and she wasn't making very much money yet, but when she heard the reason why I wanted to move in, she welcomed me with open arms, yeah."
"Deidara, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that." Itachi said, suddenly feeling ashamed that he had fled from his parent's house not too long ago because they were trying his patience and pushing an issue that he wasn't ready, nor willing, to talk about just yet. His problems were petty in comparison to the things that Deidara had been through. "I didn't know that you've had to endure so much."
"Don't be, yeah. I'm much happier living with her than I was when I was living under my parent's roof and I'm finally free to be able to express who I am now." He smiled, but Itachi could tell that the subject still pained Deidara to think about as a shadow came over his features.
"Are you ready for the upcoming semester?" Itachi asked, quickly changing the subject to save them from several minutes of awkward silence.
Deidara nodded. "I think so, yeah. Have any of the professors posted what books we need for our classes yet?"
"Deidara," Itachi said, "that information has been posted for almost a month now."
"Really?!" Deidara shrieked and reached underneath his bed for where his Mac was plugged in. "Shit!"
Suddenly, Itachi was very grateful for how had Deidara worked to keep their dorm room as clean as it was. Granted, Deidara's side was messy and often cluttered with books and art supplies, but after seeing his bedroom, Itachi vowed to never complain aloud about his mess ever again after today.
"Did you look at your books already?" Deidara asked, frantically searching for the school store tab on the university website.
Itachi pointed it out to him in the upper right hand corner. "Yeah. I ordered them a couple of weeks ago."
"Shit! Why didn't you text me, yeah?"
Because I was busy attending my cousin's funeral maybe? "I thought you would've checked." Itachi answered.
Deidara groaned. "I forget how to even do it, how do I know which books I need?"
Itachi sighed and leaned over so that he could instruct Deidara on what to do. "First, you need to know what classes you're taking; it's best to pull up your class schedule so you know what the name of the class is and what section you're scheduled to take."
Deidara complied and navigated to the page where one found their class schedule for the upcoming semester. "It says that I need to confirm my attendance before I can view/print my schedule, yeah."
"You didn't do that yet?" Itachi asked him, stunned by how unprepared Deidara was when the spring semester started in a little over a week. "You should've been sent an e-mail telling you to do so."
"Really? How can they expect us to check our school e-mail when school isn't even in session, yeah!" He protested.
Because mature adults are expected to check e-mails, even over holiday breaks. "Never mind, just click the drop-down arrow under 'courses.' There should be a link that says 'confirm attendance'." He instructed, but Deidara wasn't paying attention and was instead thumbing through the various e-mails he had neglected to check since the start of the holiday break.
"When did they send that, yeah?"
"The e-mail is just a reminder; you actually confirm your attendance online." Itachi pointed out.
"'Sad News'?" Deidara read. "What the heck do they mean by that? Did the university burn to the ground or something over Christmas break, yeah? If so, the e-mail should say 'hallelujah' instead!"
Itachi drew back from the blonde, painfully aware of the content in the e-mail that Deidara was about to read.
"'We are deeply saddened to inform you that one of our very own students, Shisui Uchiha,' yeah? 'a junior criminal justice student, has been killed in a tragic car accident on the night of December 31st? Plans regarding a memorial service are currently being discussed with Shisui's family and we will be sure to notify you of the date. The university encourages all of you to send your prayers and condolences to the Uchiha family during this painful time as we reflect upon the life he lived and the accomplishments he left behind during his time in this world'..." Deidara gaped and looked at Itachi who had hung his head in an attempt to block the piercing words that came from Deidara's mouth. "Oh my God, Itachi," he breathed, "I'm so sorry, yeah!" He said and quickly pulled Itachi in for a tight hug.
As if the lump in the back of Itachi's throat wasn't already making it difficult for him to breathe, Deidara's crushing hug was worsening it as Itachi pried his roommate off of him. "It's fine." He said, plucking strands of Deidara's hair from his shoulder and bangs.
Deidara violently shook his head, sending his golden tresses in all different directions by doing so. "No, it's not yeah, you and Shisui were together all the time almost!" He cried and pulled Itachi into yet another tight hug. "I'm so sorry, yeah. Are you okay?"
Itachi pulled away from the hug and averted his eyes to the mess of clothes on the floor beneath his feet. "It's been hard, no doubt, and to be honest with you, all I want to do is forget about the whole thing and move on with my life as if nothing happened for the moment." Itachi sighed. "Unfortunately, my parents seem to think that I'm hurting myself by bottling up my feelings and won't leave me alone."
Deidara nodded. "Is that why you wanted to come over today?" He asked.
Itachi sighed. "I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't. I'm sorry." He said, and rose to a stand.
"Wait, where are you going, yeah?"
Itachi shrugged. "It was a mistake to come here to run away from my problems. I'm sorry."
He managed to tip toe halfway to the door when Deidara grabbed his wrist. "Don't be. Remember how I told you after Thanksgiving break that if you ever needed an escape from your home-life that you were more than welcome to come visit me? I meant what I said, yeah. I really did. And if you don't want to talk about Shisui's death, then we won't talk about it."
A small smile played at the corner of Itachi's lips in response to Deidara's words. "Thank you." He whispered.
"Any time, yeah." Deidara smiled. "And I mean it, Itachi, if you ever need an escape from your family, give me a call and we'll work something out, okay?"
Itachi nodded, too overwhelmed with so many emotions that he couldn't count them all on ten fingers to properly respond.
"Hey, I got an idea!" Deidara chirped. "Let's go watch a movie together, yeah!
This took Itachi aback a bit. "You want to go watch a movie?"
Deidara nodded enthusiastically. "You said you didn't want to talk about…'stuff'…so I thought that watching a movie would take your mind off of things for a while, yeah!"
Itachi hardly ever watched movies unless it was with the company of his brother, he found himself slowly coming around to the idea and checked the time on his phone. "What time is it?" He asked, justifying his delayed response to Deidara's question. On the lock screen, he noticed that he had received two missed calls from home, and a text from his brother and mother. "Hold on a second." Itachi said and held up a finger so he could check his messages in case it was anything important. The last thing he wanted was to be informed that another family member died.
"im sorry! i didn't mean it i swear!" Sasuke's text read.
"Did you get your brother's text saying that he was sorry for what he said to you this morning?" His mother's text read. "Be safe out there and let me know if you'll be home in time for dinner this evening. Love, mom xoxo."
"Is everything alright, yeah?" Deidara asked.
"Yeah." Itachi nodded and quickly stuffed his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. "So, are there any good movies playing?"
Deidara offered him a playful smile. "I'll guess we'll find out, won't we?" He asked and in a matter of minutes, the pair was out the door and traveling to the local movie theatre in Deidara's electric blue car, school books forgotten.
[A/N]: So I updated the chapter faster than I was planning to because I was tired of not being able to talk about Shisui's death to my loyal reviewerssssss ;) All I can say is poor Itachi and Deidara!
I am proud to say that I did some extensive planning for the next chapter last night (it was meant to be the end of this chapter, but I decided that this chapter had enough material to stand on its own and I wrote a lot of notes for next chapter...and I mean, a lot. That's not to say that the next chapter is going to be thrilling and action packed and longer than any other chapter, I just put so much work into it that making it the ending of this chapter would've been too much.
The next chapter will probably be a shorter chapter, but hopefully it won't be a let-down!
Until next time~
Sasori33-001
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: I know that a lot of people call Deidara "DeiDei" but my usage of it here was a nod to you ;)
****To Hikiri: I know you're busy, but this train is moving fast, so you gotta keep up! (How else can I give you a shout-out if you have yet to read/review the previous chapter(s)? :(