Author's Note: Oh my gosh it's been a month, but I can explain! 1) I didn't know what the hell I was doing after the last chapter (and y'all are gonna hate me for this, but I still don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going at this point!) 2) I spent the end of August worry and obsessing over some things that I couldn't bring myself to write during that period of time :( 3) And since the end of August, I have been HELLA busy with life, believe me -_- You should be glad that I was even able to crank this chapter out today (I literally started and finished it today - it took me 5 hours, if my math is correct!) But I'm glad that I was able to update it within a month's time (tomorrow will have been 1 month since I posted chapter 11!) So anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter (hell, I know that you'll enjoy the chapter!)
WHY WAS IT THAT PROFESSORS waited so late to post the required texts and course syllabus, Itachi often wondered to himself. The past thirty or so days should've given them enough time to revise the course syllabus so that it matched the dates of the new semester and accommodated for spring holidays and closings such as Easter and spring break. How hard was that? The students should be the ones procrastinating, not the professors and because of that, Itachi found himself "hitting the books" as Shisui would say harder than he did during the previous semester.
He was currently absorbed in next week's management 204 course text when a soft spoken voice reached his ears. "Are you by chance related to Shisui Uchiha?"
Itachi glanced up at the person addressing him and frowned. "Yes." He answered and went back to reading his text.
"Brother?" The red haired engineering major asked him.
"Cousin." Itachi supplied.
Sasori nodded. "I see. Sorry to hear about what happened. What a tragedy."
Itachi nodded but did not provide a verbal response. He knew that his behavior could be construed as being rude, but he honestly didn't care for what Sasori had to say. He hurt Deidara in ways that were uncouth and on those grounds, Itachi had no desire to associate with him.
Sasori continued to stand by the edge of the table that Itachi was occupying and took a sip of the coffee he held in his hands before speaking again "You and Deidara still roommates?"
Why does he care? Itachi wondered. "Yeah."
"How's he doing?"
"Fine." Itachi answered, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Sasori moved to sit down in the chair across from him. "That's good to know." He said and sat his coffee cup on the table. "Listen, about homecoming. I don't know what Deidara told you, but it wasn't like that, I—"
Itachi held a hand up to silence him. "I'm sorry, but I don't care what actually happened at homecoming. All I know is that you led Deidara on just to make your girlfriend jealous—"
"That's not true! Sakura and I broke up like a month before that! We weren't together! We—"
"Save it." Itachi said and rose to a stand. "What happened happened and cannot be undone. And I don't know why you're trying to explain this to me three months after the fact. If this was something you knew you would regret, then maybe you should've thought that before you agreed to be Deidara's date." He said and stalked off in the direction of the exit. His class didn't start for another twenty eight minutes but at least he could study in the solitude of an empty classroom rather than a crowded cafeteria where he was liable to run into people he'd rather not talk to.
-8-8-8-
"How was class this morning?" He asked Deidara at lunch.
Deidara released a heavy sigh and threw his hair back over his shoulders as he sat down at their usual table. "BOR-ING!" He groaned. "I want to learn chemistry, yeah! I want to blow things up!"
Itachi smiled slightly and pushed around the lettuce in his salad bowl to mix it all up. "I'm sure you'll be able to take it eventually—"
"But I wanna take it now, yeah!" Deidara whined. "How was your class?"
"Boring." Itachi answered.
Deidara laughed. "I'd rather take general botany than an accounting class any day, yeah!"
"It's not that bad." Itachi explained. "It's just a bunch of numbers and figures. That's all. If you know what you're doing, it's really quite easy—"
"I don't want to hear it!" Deidara said and clamped his hands over his ears.
"It's really not that bad—"
"Don't wanna hear it!"
"Fine!" Itachi said in surrender and pierced a couple of lettuce leaves with his plastic fork. "I won't talk about it anymore."
"Good." Deidara said and lowered his hands from his ears, all while suspiciously eying his lunch companion should he decide to continue. When he deemed that Itachi had dropped the subject, he picked up his slice of cheese pizza and took a bite out of it. "By da way," he said with a mouth full of cheese, "I shaw Shashori shish morning on my way to" he swallowed "biology yeah."
"Really?" Itachi asked without making eye contact. Deidara nodded and took another bite of his pizza. "Did he say anything to you?"
Deidara shook his head. "No." He said and swallowed. "Why?"
"I saw him this morning too." Itachi said with a shrug.
Deidara's eyes lit up a little. "Really? Did he say anything to you?" He asked.
"He said that he was sorry to hear what happened to Shisui."
"Does he know Shisui?"
Unlike his ill-mannered roommate, Itachi took a moment to finish chewing what was in his mouth before responding to Deidara's question. "You said he's a junior didn't you?" Deidara nodded. "That's what I thought. They were in the same grade level then. I don't know if they've ever interacted with each other before."
"Maybe they had a class together?" Deidara suggested.
"Maybe."
Deidara nodded and plucked a napkin from the dispenser situated in the middle of the table to wipe off his greasy hands. "Did he say anything besides that, yeah?"
Itachi hoped that Deidara wouldn't ask him that and although he could easily lie and say that Sasori hadn't, he thought it better to be upfront with Deidara instead and tell him the truth. "He tried to apologize for what happened at homecoming."
"He did?" Deidara asked. "What'd he say, yeah?"
"I don't know."
And just like that, the excitement that was previously giving color to Deidara's cheeks and illuminating his sky blue irises, it began to drain. "What do you mean you don't know, yeah? I thought you said—"
"I didn't want to hear it because the damage has already been done. There's nothing he can say or do to remedy the fact that he led you on in order to make his girlfriend jealous, Deidara."
"But if he apologized—"
Itachi sighed. "Don't be too naïve, Deidara. For all you know, he might have an ulterior motive like he did the last time."
"But—"
"I'm saying this because I don't want to see you get hurt again. What if he's only apologizing so that he can lead you on again to make his girlfriend or some other girl jealous? Then what?"
A dark cloud overtook Deidara's usually sunny disposition as he lowered his head. "I guess you're right, yeah."
Itachi extended his arm to let his hand rest on Deidara's shoulder. It wasn't his intention to upset the blonde, but he felt that he deserved to hear it nonetheless. "You'll find somebody better than him. You just have to wait for the right person to come along." He smiled.
Deidara lifted his head to reveal a small smile of his own. "Thanks, yeah."
"Am I interrupting something?" Kisame asked, suddenly appearing a few feet away from their table.
Itachi quickly retracted his hand from his roommate's shoulder and coolly responded "No, not at all."
"Mind if I sit? He asked.
"I don't mind." Itachi replied.
Kisame glanced around the crowded room, most likely in search of an empty seat. "Where's an empty seat…?" He said to himself.
"You can have my seat." Deidara offered. He tossed his used napkins onto his empty paper plate and folded it in on itself so that it could be thrown away before rising to his feet.
"Where will you sit?" Kisame asked. "I can find another one, it's no big deal—"
Deidara shook his head. "I was just leaving."
"Why so soon? The party's just getting started!"
Itachi shook his head. He hardly considered a conversation about tutoring to be equivalent to the fun of party, especially the type of parties that an upperclassmen like Kisame likely attended.
"I forgot that I needed to print something out for my English class this afternoon, yeah!" Deidara hurriedly explained whilst slinging his back pack over his shoulder. "See you later, Itachi!"
Itachi raised a hand. "See you later."
"Does he have a class soon?" Kisame asked as he took a seat at the table.
"I don't think so." Itachi responded. "I think his class doesn't' start for a few more hours at least."
"How long does it take that kid to print something out?"
"Not long. He said he likes to give himself extra time because he knows he'll get distracted on art websites and social media." Itachi shrugged.
"He's something else." Kisame mused before taking on a more serious air. "Hey, I heard what happened to your boyfriend and I just wanted to let you know that I'm really sorry.
Itachi blinked. "Excuse me, my what?"
"Your boyfriend. Shisui." Kisame elaborated. "The one that just died in a car accident over winter break. I meant to say something to you sooner, but it kept slipping my mind…" He said, his voice trailing off.
"You mean my cousin?"
"What?"
"My cousin." Itachi said. "Shisui's my cousin, not my boyfriend."
Kisame slumped back into his chair and chuckled nervously. "Wow, that's awkward. I thought he was your boyfriend. That would explain why you two look alike and share the same last name, I guess."
"Why would you think that Shisui's my boyfriend?" Itachi asked. It should've been clear as day to anyone who passed them by when they ate lunch together or ran into each other on campus that they looked alike. And if they read the e-mail, which, Kisame would've had to have done in order to know what something happened to Shisui, should've noted that in addition to their matching appearances, they also shared the same last name.
Kisame shrugged and folded into himself in such a way that he appeared to have an extra set of chins. "I don't know! I always see you guys together and just kinda though that you were together! I never thought that you two were related!" He cried. "Man that sucks."
"It's fine." Itachi dismissed.
"Well how are you holding up?" Kisame asked, leaning forward. "I know it's been a month, but you guys seemed really close." He chuckled again now that he knew the two were close not because they shared a romantic bond, but a familial one. "Sorry." He said by way of apology for his inappropriate laughter.
"It's fine." Itachi sighed. "It's been hard, no doubt, especially not seeing him around campus as often as I used to, but I'm trying to convince myself that he's just busy."
"You're in denial." Kisame said matter-of-factly.
"Perhaps." He said. "Right now, I'm just trying to concentrate on my studies instead of looking into it too much."
"Makes sense." Kisame agreed. "I wouldn't have expected anything less from a robot like you." He joked, referring back to a conversation they had the previous semester concerning Itachi's work ethic. "Well, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, Itachi." Kisame winked and rose to his feet. "I just came over here to offer my condolences. A couple of buddies from the team are waiting for me over there and probably wondering where I got lost to, so I should get back to them before they leave!"
"Okay."
"Keep your head up, okay? You may not be able to see it now, but there's always a silver lining!" Kisame called from over his shoulder.
Itachi smiled at his retreating back and whispered a quiet "thanks."
-8-8-8-
The beginning of the semester was always the best time to find a quiet spot in the library to study as none of the professors (or at least, none of the professors that Itachi knew of) were assigning much work this early in the term. His chances of being immersed in complete silence were even greater as it was Valentine's Day and most students were more concerned with taking their dates out to dinner and a movie rather than spending the day studying in the library.
Even the student librarian looked as though she wanted to be somewhere other than there, he noticed.
"I can't believe I have to spend the day in the library when I should be spending it with my girlfriend, man!" Itachi heard someone saying as he was getting ready to leave. "I mean, who gives fucking homework over Valentine's Day weekend?"
"I don't know dude." Another student was saying.
Maybe you should've completed your assignments ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute. Itachi thought bitterly.
From around the corner, two muscular students, athletes maybe, appeared. One of them had a square jaw, golden irises and short ginger hair pulled back into a pony tail with bangs that framed his face whereas the other had short dark brown hair and was wearing hipster glasses.
Itachi attempted to ignore them and walk past when the orange haired one side-stepped in front of him to block his path.
"Excuse me." Itachi muttered.
"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" He asked.
Itachi shook his head. He vaguely remembered seeing these two men before, but didn't care to remember where. He probably met them at one of the many campus events that Deidara talked him into attending last semester. "But I don't wanna go by myself, yeah!" Deidara would whine and Itachi would push his homework to the side only if it meant shutting him up.
"Oh yeah, that party!" The brunette answered.
The ginger haired man blinked a few times before his eyes lit up in realization. "Yeah, yeah, yeah! The homecoming party! You were with a blonde chick! Remember? You came to pick up Shisui?"
That's right. Itachi remembered now. He'd met these party-obsessed drunken wanabees on the night of the homecoming dance when he went to pick up Shisui. He sighed as that was not an experience he wanted to relieve. Especially now.
"Man, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to Shisui." The ginger said. What was his name again?
"Yeah, me too, man, me too." The brunette added, nodding his head.
"How did you guys know each other? Are you related?" The ginger asked.
"He's my cousin."
The ginger nodded at the brunette with an obnoxious smirk adoring his features. "See man, I told you so!"
"Shut up Fu!" The brunette said and slapped him on the shoulder.
"Fuck! That fucking hurt, Torune! God, man!"
Fu and Torune, that's what their names were. Itachi remembered now.
"But yeah, that's terrible man, we're really sorry." Fu reiterated. "What happened to him? Did he die in a car accident?"
"Yeah." Itachi answered.
"Was he drunk?" Torune asked. "Shisui was never really good at holding down his liquor." He mused.
Itachi clenched his hands in annoyance. "He wasn't drunk." He growled.
"Wait, he wasn't? Then how'd he get into a car accident? He was going to a party, wasn't he? It was like, New Year's Eve or something, wasn't it? Wasn't it, Torune?" Fu asked his comrade.
"Not all car accidents are related to driving under the influence." Itachi said in a low voice and walked in the direction of the exit. Behind him, Fu and Torune were beckoning him to come back and explained what exactly happened to Shisui, but he didn't so much as spare a second glance. The night of homecoming was in the past and so was Shisui's car accident. And Itachi preferred to leave them that way.
At least when he returned back to his dorm room, he could collapse on the bed and read a book or something to help clear his mind of the events that had transpired over the past few weeks. "Will you be able to handle the entire school knowing about it and potentially asking you questions about what happened to him?" He remembered his father asking him a few weeks before the start of the second semester.
"By then, it will have been over a month since Shisui's passing. I'm sure they'll forget by then. Most people probably don't even know that we're related." Was his response.
Deidara was the first of his peers to notice when Itachi instructed him to check his e-mail for a confirmation code from the university book store and happened upon it by coincidence. Itachi knew that his own roommate would learn of the news of Shisui's death fairly quickly. Sure, he was taken aback when he found out that Deidara hardly ever checked his school e-mail account, but nonetheless, Deidara was the first to outwardly say anything about it to him.
The second was Kisame, who mistakenly thought that Shisui was Itachi's boyfriend but offered his condolences the first week of school.
It had been a month and a half since Shisui's death and by then Itachi was starting to believe he was right when he told his father that nobody would know that they were related and that most people would forget by then. He didn't count on running into Shisui's old "friends" and for reasons he couldn't quite explain, their ignorant comments were eating away at him.
"Keep your head up, okay?" He remembered Kisame saying to him the first week of the spring semester when he reached his dorm room and pushed the key into the lock. And Kisame was right. Fu and Torune's comments wouldn't matter to him twenty or thirty years down the road. And for the time being, he just needed to take out some time for himself and relax, even if that meant spending the rest of the afternoon in bed reading a book until it was time to eat dinner.
It did not include walking into a dim lit room littered with scattered rose petals, though.
"What is this?" Itachi asked.
Deidara, who had been drawing on top of his bed, looked up in surprise before glancing around the room. "Shit!" He swore and quickly scrambled to his feet.
"Are you expecting somebody? Because if so, I can leave." Itachi said, gesturing to the hallway behind him.
"No, no, no! It's not what you think, yeah! I swear! It's not what you think!"
If it wasn't for the fact that Fu and Torune were probably studying in the library right now, Itachi would've taken two steps backwards and headed back to the normalcy that was the school library. But because he didn't feel like explaining the specifics behind his cousin's death to a pair of morons like Fu and Torune, he closed the door behind him and set down his bag by the desk. "You've got thirty seconds to explain." Itachi said.
"Okay!" Deidara said and took a breath. "So for the people in the world who have a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, it's Valentine's Day, but for people like you and me who don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend to spend the day with, it's Single's Day!" He explained with a wide, albeit nervous smile.
Itachi wasn't buying it. "I don't understand…"
"It's Single's Day, yeah! It's the one day of the year that people without significant others celebrate not being tied down in a relationship and being free to do whatever they want so instead of spending all this money spoiling my non-existent boyfriend—"
"You spent all this money to spoil me instead?" Itachi asked. "I'm sorry, but I'm still confused, I'm not—"
"No, no, no, no, no! It's not like that! All of this is for me, yeah! I'm spoiling myself! I bought the rose petals for me and because they're artistic and I might use them for an art project later this month, and I even bought a box of chocolates to eat by myself but if you wanted some, I would share them with you too because as far as I know, you're single too, and I wanted you to feel included, but I didn't mean to freak you out, yeah! I swear! And I'm sorry, yeah! I'm sorry!"
Itachi held up his hands and advanced towards his frantic roommate to calm him down. "It's okay, Deidara! I get it now. I think! It's fine!"
"Really, yeah?"
"Yes. Really. It's fine."
Deidara nodded slowly and reached behind him to produce a box of chocolates. "Do you like chocolates, yeah?"
Itachi thought about this for a moment before answering "What kind do you have?"
"Well as Forrest Gump once said 'Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get!'" Deidara quoted and patted the spot beside him on the high bed.
Although Itachi was content to grab a chocolate and retreat to his own bed, he had a feeling that he would be coming back for more and more chocolates after consuming the first one and a few moments later, found himself cautiously mounting his roommate's bed.
"What kind is your favorite, yeah?" Deidara asked, handing him the box.
"I actually like the ones with the cherry filling inside them." Itachi answered.
Deidara's face cringed in disgust. "Oh God, those are nasty, yeah!" He said and stuck his tongue out.
"Which ones are your favorites?" Itachi asked, and plucked a round, unsuspecting chocolate he assumed to contain cherry filling in it and bit halfway in.
"I like the ones with coconut in them yeah."
Itachi considered this for a moment and shrugged. "Coconut's not bad. Not my favorite, but not my least favorite."
"Really? Deidara asked in astonishment. "You're one of the first people I've met who actually like coconut flavored chocolates, yeah!"
"I don't know why everyone hates them so much. I think the crunchiness of the coconut mixes well with the smooth chocolatey exterior."
"Right? Spoken like a true chocolatier!"
For the next ten minutes or so, the two sat on Deidara's bed discussing which chocolates they liked, which ones they didn't and on a few occasions, lifted the box in an attempt to decipher which pictures pertained to which box and what "amaretto's" meant.
"According to my internet dictionary, 'amaretto is a type of sweet, almond-flavored liqueur.' Itachi said and put down his phone.
"Really? I would've never guessed, yeah!" Deidara said and offered him the half-finished box of chocolates.
Itachi shook his head. "No thanks. I've eaten way too many already. I'll be lucky to leave the dentist with only one cavity after my next appointment!" He joked.
"Right!" Deidara laughed and placed the box of chocolates on his pillow. "Hey, you seemed kinda upset earlier when you walked in earlier. Was it because of the mess? If it was, I promise to have it picked up by the end of the night, I swear!"
"No, it's not that. I ran into some of Shisui's 'friends'" Itachi said, using air quotes, "at the library today."
"Which ones? Do I know them?"
"The ones we met at the party on homecoming." Itachi explained.
Deidara exhaled in realization and nodded in understanding. "I remember, yeah." He said.
Itachi pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah, well, I ran into them earlier and they said some really ignorant things."
"Like what, yeah?"
"Like 'Shisui could never hold down his liquor' and whatnot as if Shisui was drunk when he got into the accident. They don't know the whole story. He wasn't drunk. What irritates me the most is that they don't seem to care that their 'friend' is dead. They think it's a joke. Like Shisui was less of a man for not being able to drink as much as the rest of them could without feeling the effects of the alcohol." He said and released a shaky sigh.
"They sound like total douchebags." Deidara commented. "A true friend wouldn't have acted like that. Did they at least say that they were sorry that it happened, yeah?"
"They did, but they didn't seem to mean it which upsets me the most." Itachi and glanced up at the ceiling. "My father warned me that this would happen. He asked if I was 'emotionally prepared' to deal with people asking me questions about Shisui's death and it's been a month and a half since it's happened. I thought that I'd be fine by now. I thought that nobody would remember it anymore."
Deidara extended his arm and wrapped it around his roommate's shoulder and brought him close in an act of comfort. "It's okay, yeah. They're just ignorant pricks who were never really Shisui's friends to begin with. It's sad, but the only thing that matters now is that he had a friend like you when he was still alive, yeah."
Itachi exhaled and turned to face Deidara with soft eyes. For the past month and a half since his cousin's passing, he'd been struggling with his loss and looking for a certain kind of comfort; comfort that he couldn't seem to find. While his mother constantly showered him with love and affection in the time since Shisui's death, Itachi found himself suffocating under all of the attention rather than being comforted by it. On the opposite end of the spectrum, his father acted as if nothing had happened and expected Itachi to feel the same way and move on with his life. And Sasuke, well, he wasn't sure how Sasuke was approaching Shisui's death, but his manner of comfort was slightly unorthodox to say the least.
But here in front of him, Deidara managed to unintentionally take his mind off of the things that were bothering him when he entered the room and brought it up once Itachi was feeling well enough to talk about what happened.
That was the kind of comfort he had been longing for and it touched him so deeply that he had to exert all of his willpower not to lose his composure completely and cry in front of Deidara like this.
He opened his mouth to say "thank you" but no sound escaped. Out of embarrassment, he pulled away and tried to compose himself before trying again when a set of lips pressed against his own in a delicate kiss.
First of all - cliff-hanger~~~! (Sorry! I had to do it!)
Second, why did I pick today of all days to write this chapter (not that there's anything wrong with today, it's just that it's been a month and this is sort of out of the blue...) I had a creative writing assignment to write 6 pages of anything I wanted and I chose to write a new chapter of this fic! I sat down and compared the length of every chapter I've written for this story thus far and only 3 chapters have been less than 6 pages (hell, this one ended up being a little over eight as well as the last two! Things are heating up~~~ ;)
With that being said - I think that the first half of this chapter is really wordy - too much dialogue and not enough description. The reason for that is because before I actually wrote the chapter, I made an outline, and I basically just wrote out the dialogue and meant to add description to it. And while I did just that, it's still a little wordy I think compared to the second half of the chapter where I said "to hell with the outline, I know exactly what I'm doing and the outline takes too much damn time to write! X(((" so I just winged it and got more description and retrospect (or maybe that's just how the chapter was meant to be - a wordy conversation with Deidara and Kisame at lunch and time for retrospection at the library a few weeks later (which reminds me, the first half of the story takes place during the last week of January - around the 27th - and the part where Itachi goes to the library takes place in the middle of February - to be exact, February 14th, Valentine's Day - so there is a bit of a time gap that wasn't very apparent and I apologize for that! :( ) and if the ending feels a little rushed, that's because I need this to get done for an assignment and don't have time to put it off and I needed to get ready for work :((( So sorry!
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: As I said in a recent PM, I didn't intend to describe their time at the "cinema" (movies) but you can imagine that it went relatively well. It got Itachi's mind off his family's awkward coping mechanisms and Shisui's death, so all is good. But other than that, did you enjoy the chapter?
****To The Secret Sal: I know what you're thinking 1. "Why did you have to end it there dammit! X(" and 2. "Deidara loves him some Itachi lmao!" so my response to that is sorry not sorry? *shrug* ;P
****To Hikiri: Hi-kiri~ where are youuuuuuuu?
Until next time! (which, for all of our sakes, is soon! Though I seriously don't know where to go next! :(((
~Sasori33-001