Author's Note: *Saunters in with this smug-ass look on my face* Damn right I updated this story 2 days ago~
****To The Secret Sal: #thesmugbitchisback
Don't ask me how I managed to update this so quickly; I think that I too was curious to see how Itachi would react after the last chapter (and yes, I swear to God I am the author of this story (I may not be the owner of the characters - that's Masashi Kishimoto) but I'm the owner of the plot that you see before you) but to be honest, I am winging it at this point. I have a few ideas for the future, but no leads to tie anything together yet.
But out of anticipation for what happens next, I started this chapter - #luckythirteen or #unluckythirteen ? That's up to you to decide! At first, I started the first two paragraphs yesterday because for once, I had some free time, and then this evening I started writing the rest and couldn't stop! The words were pouring out of me and when I realized that I was coming to the end of [the chapter] and that I was close to my usual 4,000 words, I left it at that.
Hopefully this chapter satisfies your need to know what happens next!
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: I know you said to be gentle but...
ALTHOUGH ITACHI WASN'T VERY fond of romantic literature, he wasn't as ignorant to romantic terminology like melting into a kiss. But there was a difference between knowing it and feeling it and it wasn't until today what knew what melting in a kiss felt like.
The overhead lights in the room were still turned off as Itachi hadn't asked Deidara to turn them on when he returned to their room. On the edges of his vision there were tiny red blurs scattered all around but neither of those things were important. In a matter of seconds, warm lips had attached to his own dry ones and tasted of caramel – soft and sweet.
As delectable as caramel tastes, however, some ill-prepared caramels can leave behind a bitter aftertaste in one's mouth.
"I'm sorry that you lost such a great friend, yeah." Deidara whispered when he pulled away and glanced up to meet Itachi's perplexed look. "Too soon, yeah? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, not when you were in such a vulnerable state yeah."
Though the kiss went no further than his lips, they reeked of chocolate and as a result, Itachi only tasted chocolate. The very same chocolate the coated the inside of his mouth like sludge clings to a sink drain. "I'm not…" Itachi started. "I'm not homosexual, Deidara."
Deidara's eyes widened. "You're not?"
Itachi shook his head.
"But I was so sure that you were yeah!"
"Yeah, you were certain that Sasori was too." The words escaped Itachi's mouth faster than he could bite them back and by the time they had left, there was no taking them back.
"I admit it, I didn't really know Sasori very well, but—"
"Well it seems that you didn't know me very well either." Itachi said, quickly hopping off the bed before Deidara could make any other unwanted advances towards him and went to collect his things. Fu and Torune may be aggravating, but at least they wouldn't try to kiss him when he expressed his innermost thoughts and feelings – things he wasn't necessarily comfortable sharing with his own family. "What made you think that I was homosexual?" He asked before picking up his messenger bag.
By now, Deidara's face had flushed with embarrassment and his ears were quickly turning a furious shade of red. "I just—I don't know! You had a boyfriend, didn't you? Wasn't Shisui your boyfriend, yeah?"
This again? "No! Why does everybody think that Shisui was my boyfriend?" Itachi demanded and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.
"Really, yeah? But you guys always used to have lunch together, yeah! And I saw the way that you two would look at each other—I saw the way your eyes lit up whenever you saw him!" Deidara protested. "Can you blame me? He told you that he loved you the night of the homecoming dance and you said that you loved him back, yeah! Remember? I mean, yeah you guys broke up a few weeks later, but how can you honestly tell me that you weren't dating?"
At this, Itachi stood up from putting his shoes back on and replied. "For starters, Shisui was drunk when he said those things. Since when do you believe anything that an intoxicated person says?!"
"Some drunks are super honest, yeah!"
"And yes, I remember telling him that I loved him back. You know why? Because Shisui is my cousin, Deidara! You of all people should've known that!" Itachi seethed.
"You never told me that he was your cousin, yeah! How was I supposed to know?!" He cried, hopping off the bed as well.
"I'm sure I told you sometime within the past four months that I've been living with you and if you've ever seen Shisui and I together, you should've made the connection that we look alike." He let out a short chuckle. "You read the e-mail that was sent out, I know you did, because I was with you when you read it! 'Shisui Uchiha, a junior criminology student, has been killed in a tragic car accident on the night of December 31st.' If I was homosexual, don't you think it'd be a little odd that I'd be dating somebody who shares the same last name as I do?"
Deidara shrugged helplessly. "I didn't know, okay! I'm sorry, Itachi! I really am! I'm sorry! I didn't know, yeah! I mean it!"
But Itachi wasn't listening anymore. In one fluid movement, he swung his book bag over his shoulder, grabbed his keys, cell phone, and wallet from his desk and exited the room without another word, ignoring Deidara's pleas all the while.
-8-8-8-
It wasn't until 10:33pm that Itachi returned back to his room that night. He'd spent a record setting five hours in the library, leaving only once to find something to eat at a nearby restaurant. Upon making sure to sit in the most remote area he could find in order to elude Fu, Torune, Deidara, and any other person who felt the need to mess with his life even more if that was humanly possible. In that time, he completed every homework assignment he possibly could in all of his classes for the next three weeks and finished a paper that wasn't due for another month. His professor hadn't even explained the grading criteria for it yet or how to effectively utilize the necessary library resources to write it but he didn't care. He'd gladly redo it if it meant having something to do that would get him out of his room and away from his roommate.
But he couldn't keep this up for long. Eventually, he'd run out of assignments to complete and books to read and even he became bored with repetition which was bound to happen if he continued to complete assignments that hadn't even been discussed in class yet. Sure, he could get a part-time job, but that was taking things to the extremes. He needed something short-term that could distract him from the day's events and distance him from Deidara. If given the appropriate amount of time, he could come up with a solution that would do just that.
Never again would he be so foolish as to befriend someone of Deidara's sexual orientation.
Never again.
-8-8-8-
"Did you see the note I left on your desk, yeah?" Deidara asked late Monday night.
"Yeah." Itachi answered simply and gathered up his night clothes for bed.
There was a brief pause before Deidara's small voice permeated the silence. "What did you think of it?"
"I didn't read it."
"Why not?"
Itachi turned to face him. "Because there is nothing that you can say or do to change what happened yesterday, Deidara. You completely misunderstood the situation and made unwanted advances toward me that will be hard to put in the past."
"I'm sorry, yeah! I'm really, really, sorry, Itachi!" Deidara whined. "Can you just hear me out, yeah? Please?" He said, purposefully standing in Itachi's way.
Itachi set his clothes down on the bed with a sigh. "Fine."
Deidara interlocked his fingers together and took a deep breath before he spoke. "I've always had feelings for you, yeah. Ever since the first week of school."
And Itachi agreed to hear him out because?
"I mean, who could blame me? You're smart, studious, handsome, I mean, look at you!" He said and gestured to Itachi's current outfit which consisted of a blue V-neck sweater and casual khaki-colored slacks. It wasn't the smartest outfit he owned, but it was far from careless. "Who wouldn't fall in love with someone like you! You dress nicely and your hair is always so neat and tidy! I can barely drag myself up out of bed most mornings, much less take a shower before class but you do it every day! Even on the weekends you're up at the crack of dawn!" He said and quickly got back to his point when he noticed the overwhelmed look on Itachi's face. "Anyways, I've always had feelings for you, but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, yeah."
Too late for that.
"So I pushed my feelings aside. And after Sasori dumped me on homecoming, you were the one who comforted me, yeah. You told me not to blindly rush into love and wait until the time is right and at that moment, I fell for you. Hard, yeah. I wanted to kiss you so badly that day, yeah. And my feelings only intensified when I saw the way you dropped everything you were working on to pick up Shisui that night when he called you. And you were so calm the whole time! You were calm when I was a wreck, when Shisui called! Even at the party you were calm! And you kept it together when Shisui puked all over your shoes while I was screaming loud enough to wake up the whole building, yeah!"
Itachi remembered those shoes. They were one of his favorite pairs too and they were not cheap.
"And you were just so calm like you always are, yeah! Even when the shit hits the fan, you stay calm and that's what I love about you! When you said you were going to drop me off at our dorm before you drove Shisui back to his, I wanted to stay with you the entire night so that you wouldn't be alone, yeah but I wanted to give you guys some space. And after Thanksgiving break, when you told me that you family was getting on your nerves all weekend, I asked if you wanted to visit me over winter break because I wanted to see you be happy, yeah! I wanted to show you a good time, and not like that! Not like that! Like, I wanted to show you where I come from and see you smile for once! You hardly ever smile anymore, and I know that's partially my fault, but ever since your fight with Shisui after homecoming, I hardly ever saw you smile, Itachi! And believe me, after I said that, I wanted to kick myself for being a dumbass like 'Idiot! What did you say that for!? Now he's definitely going to think that you're a freak!" like I wasn't thinking that day, yeah! But when you called me on winter break, I wanted to go outside and run laps around my house I was that happy, yeah!" Deidara enthused and sighed contentedly. "I saw you smiling at the movie theatre yeah. You were smiling at the screen as if you didn't have a care in the world, yeah. As if all of your problems had just melted away, like magic or something. And I smiled because you were smiling and because I was the one who brought the smile to your face. Sure, the movie was funny at times, but if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gone out to the movies in the first place and had such a good time. I don't even remember what the damn movie was about; I was too busy thinking about how I just wanted to hold your hand, yeah."
Itachi wasn't sure how he felt about all of this. When he first met Deidara, he instantly knew that Deidara was homosexual but didn't say anything about it for two reasons – one, he didn't believe in making snap-judgments about people based on their appearances, and two, what did it matter that his roommate was sexually attracted to men instead of women? Yeah, it would be awkward sharing a room with someone who would potentially find him attractive and make a move on him, but Deidara, like Itachi and everybody else in the world was a human being and deserved to be treated like such instead of being like whatever label other people gave him?
Despite this standpoint, Itachi had his concerns. Not a day went by that he didn't overanalyze Deidara's words and actions, trying to decipher if the blonde was insinuating something more or just being overly friendly. He had been so careful to keep his distance, but what was he supposed to do when Deidara was visibly upset? Just sit there and watch? That wasn't who Itachi Uchiha was or who Itachi wanted to be. He didn't care about their close proximity on Deidara's bed. The only thing he cared about was being a good roommate and supportive friend.
But it was clear to Itachi that he had slipped sometime after that night. He let his emotions get the better of him and agreed to things that he normally wouldn't have like going over to the blonde's house over winter break when his family wouldn't leave him alone about Shisui's death. And just yesterday when he sat on his bed on Valentine's Day for crying out loud! How stupid could he be? Sharing chocolates – chocolate, a known aphrodisiac – on his homosexual roommate's bed on Valentine's Day? In dim lighting and with rose petals scattered all around the room?
He'd grown complacent. Plain and simple. Itachi had grown complacent.
And he was experiencing the consequences of his actions.
"And yesterday – scratch that – ever since Shisui's death, you haven't been yourself. You've been withdrawn and I can't stand seeing you that way, yeah! And yesterday, you just seemed so broken…I wanted to do something. I wanted to take your mind off of everything. And when you opened up to me about how you felt, I – something happened, yeah, I don't really know how to explain it. I felt a spark go off between us, or at least, I thought I did, yeah, and I don't really know how to describe what happened next – my body moved on its own and it just happened, yeah, I swear!"
Itachi turned his head away and picked up his night clothes once more. "It didn't seem like an accident; it seemed intentional."
Behind him, Deidara was stuttering, searching for the right words to say in his defense. "I just – I didn't – I just – I don't know, yeah! I'm sorry! I misread the entire situation! I misread you, yeah! I thought that you were gay! It was an honest mistake!"
"How can you honestly say that kissing someone of the same gender without knowing that they definitely share the same beliefs as you do, Deidara? How? Explain that to me!" Itachi demanded. "You say it was a mistake but given your track record, I have a hard time believing it."
"What do you mean 'based on my track record' yeah?" Deidara asked. "I asked Sasori out to homecoming and he said yes! He agreed to be my homecoming date and then dumped me for somebody else yeah!" Deidara said with watery eyes.
"I admit it, that was insensitive of him, but you're not free of blame, either Deidara. You asked out somebody you barely knew apart from one class to be your homecoming date! How can you place the blame entirely on Sasori when this whole thing wouldn't have happened if you had some common sense!"
"But—"
"And the same goes for my relationship with Shisui. If you would think before you act or speak instead of doing whatever feels good at the time, maybe you would've known that Shisui and I were related! Maybe instead of putting all of your energy into trying to make me feel better, you could've asked me what my relationship with Shisui was! Is that so hard, Deidara? All you had to do was ask! You could've asked me if I was seeing someone, you could have asked me how I knew Shisui, you could've asked me why Shisui and I were fighting, and you could've asked me if I was attracted to men or not!"
Deidara was crying at this point as he went to reply to Itachi's remarks. "First of all, I didn't ask you what your relationship with Shisui was after he died because you were still upset after his death, yeah! And I didn't ask about your love life because I didn't want you to freak you out, yeah!"
"Oh, and kissing me was the safer bet?"
"No! But I already told you that I wasn't thinking, yeah! And I don't ask you any personal questions because it's clear that you don't want to talk about your personal life yeah! You wouldn't have wanted to tell me if you were seeing somebody or not, you wouldn't have wanted to tell me why you and Shisui were fighting because you told me that you didn't want to talk about it yeah!"
"You're right." Itachi conceded. "If you had asked me if I was seeing someone, I probably would have been reluctant to tell you because I would've felt uncomfortable. And you're right. I didn't want to tell you why Shisui and I were fighting because you knew why we were fighting! You knew that I tried to reach out to him on several occasions and he didn't reciprocate! It was clear as day, Deidara but you were probably too busy daydreaming like you always do!" Itachi spat. "Oh, and if you had asked me if I was homosexual or not, I would've been uncomfortable, but I would've told you the truth in order to avoid something like this occurring!"
Deidara's face were as pink as his puffy eyes as he frowned in the face of Itachi's objections. With a heavy sigh, he clenched his hands into tight fists and said evenly. "I may have been wrong about Sasori, yeah. But I know I'm not wrong about you, yeah. You told me not to rush into love, and I didn't. I waited until I was certain that you were gay. Yeah, I was wrong about you and Shisui, but in all my time as your roommate, I've been looking for signs, yeah. You never pay any attention to girls, yeah. Never."
Itachi threw his hands up into the air and glared at the blonde. "Unlike you, Deidara, I didn't come here to make long-lasting relationships. I came here to further my education and get a degree so that I can get a well-paying job."
"That may be, but even the most studious of men's eyes stray when they see a pretty girl walk by. You don't even flinch; you just keep reading."
Itachi shook his head and grabbed his night clothes. Forget sleeping in his own bed. He would sleep in the lounge on one of the couches if it meant being away from Deidara and his ridiculous ideas of his.
"And I see the way you look into space when you talk about Kisame."
"What?" Itachi asked and whipped around so fast that his pony-tail fell over his left shoulder and over his chest. "What does Kisame have to do with anything?"
"You never look me in the eye when you talk about him, yeah. You always look at the ground, or at the table, or off into the distance but never at me, yeah. You don't know it, but there's a twinkle in your eye when you talk about how annoying he is or how he tried your patience when you were tutoring him and I don't blame you. He's hot as hell, what with those sculpted muscles and tanned skin and that white smile that could be used on a billboard advertising toothpaste, yeah. I get it, you like athletic types and I'm not an athlete. I understand, yeah."
"I don't know what gave you the idea that I was remotely interested in Kisame besides helping him get a good grade in our shared introduction to philosophy class last semester but you couldn't be more wrong! Kisame is just a guy I used to tutor. He's nothing more, and nothing less."
"Then why does he always wave to you at lunch, yeah?" Deidara asked and folded his arms.
"Because I helped him pass philosophy!" Itachi cried. "You are reading into this too much, you know that?"
"You know something? You put up this homophobic front and act like you're okay with gay people and anybody who's not straight like you think you are, but you said it yourself: gay people make you uncomfortable."
"I did not say that!"
"I know how to read between the lines, yeah. Contrary to what you think of me, I'm not an idiot, yeah."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Itachi demanded, quickly losing the remaining strands of his patience.
"Kisame's gay and you're not threatened by him."
"What?! Kisame is not gay! Who told you that?!"
Deidara shrugged. "Nobody. I can just tell yeah."
Itachi's mind was going a million miles a minute as he tried to process everything leaving the blonde's disproportionately large mouth. "Really? You can tell?" He asked sarcastically.
His roommate nodded.
"Do you even know Kisame apart from what he looks like? Have you even sat down and had a conversation with him because when he sat down at the lunch table with us a few weeks ago, you got up pretty quickly because admit it; you were jealous that you weren't the center of my attention anymore."
Deidara's lip quivered as if he were about to cry some more, but he took a deep breath to stave it off. "You're right. I was jealous because since your fight with Shisui before Thanksgiving break, I thought you were single and was planning to ask you out sometime, but wanted to wait until the right moment like you said, yeah. And then the star of the school swim team swoops in and all of a sudden, you're spending all of your time hanging out with him instead of me, so yeah, I was jealous! Especially knowing that he's gay and that he's hella attractive yeah!"
"I was spending all my time tutoring him! Tu-tor-ing him!" Itachi enunciated to make his point and sighed out of frustration. "You're wrong about Kisame. In fact, you're wrong about everything because you are too busy living in some sort of deluded fantasy to see the big picture, Deidara and I'm sick of it! I'm done!" Itachi yelled and angrily stalked to the door with his night clothes, cell phone, keys and wallet.
"Think what you want, Itachi, but I know I'm right about this. I'm right about Kisame, and I'm right about you, yeah. Just you wait."
He'd sleep in his car, he decided, and turned around to grab his blanket from the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Somewhere other than here." Itachi answered and with his comforter in hand, forcefully slamming the door to leave Deidara, the part of him that had lost sight of his values, the evening of the homecoming dance, the last semester, and his friendship with Deidara behind him as he carved a new path for himself. One that had an undefined ending. And he hoped that things would be better moving forward.
Whoo-ee that chapter was a doozy! I think I need a drink after typing all of that *fans self* lawd have mercy that was intense! THE SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN, GUYS, THE SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN!
****To Shinan7: You now have your answer. Itachi freaked out ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT!
****To JigokuShoujosRevenge (God your username trips me up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. but I'm not mad): So tell me? Was it awkward? ;)
****To Dragon77: If you thought that Itachi was opening up last chapter, then he must have bared his feelings for all to see in this one!
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: I mentioned the movie visit! I mentioned it! *sticks tongue out whist pointing to the screen and excitedly looking back and forth for witnesses as I make a complete idiot of myself* Did ya like it?! And yes, Itachi wasn't all that gentle with Deidara, but you gotta admit, Deidara got. him. back. with that bit about Kisame at the end there~2 words: HAVE. MERCY!
And last, but certainly not least~
****To The Secret Sal: I actually don't know what to say to you! But I know you probably have a lot to say to me! #theshithitthefan #itachitoldhim #deidaracameinlikeawreckingball #thatendingtho #youwerehereforit #kisaitaforthewin
*inhales* I don't know when I'm going to update the next chapter. As I've admitted over and over again, I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I have a vague idea, but I have some complicated plans for the future (think of it this way: Writing this story is like fishing. My plans for the future are like a record sized cat-fish, right? To get my cat-fish (to my plans for the future) I need some skill and a fishing pole (I have the skill, but I need ideas to tie it all together) In short, I don't have a fishing pole (I got no idea where to go next).
Oh, and by the way! If my math is correct, we've hit 50,000 words! Yay! *whoot* *whoot* I think that's grounds for a nice refreshing drink! A toast to the first 50,000 words of Things Better Left Unsaid and here's to another (?) 50,000 in the future as we embark on Itachi's adventure to "discover" himself! dun-dun-dun!
And one more thing! I'm thinking of naming the chapters of this story and have done so for the first 12. Be sure to tell me what you think of the story as well as the new chapter names! *cheers!*
Until next time~
Sasori33-001