[A/N]: Oh my gosh it has been wayyyyyy too long and for that, I'm sorry. However, I have a life outside of fanfiction that is comprised mostly of work and very little free time. Yes, I do have time to update other stories, but the difference between this story and the others I've published on here is that each chapter of this story is roughly 4,000 words (a number I try to aim for when I sit down to write it) and there are at least three main characters doing their own thing which makes it very hard to plan/keep track of. That, and I had to figure out what to follow up the ending of the last chapter. And...it's finally happened: I have reached the end of my story foresight. I have very little idea where I'm going with this which makes it that much harder to update as often as I used to be able to :(
But now that I have a little bit of free time, I've pushed forward to update this chapter before I go on vacation and I hope you enjoy it!
IN THE DAYS SINCE THE ARGUMENT, Itachi shared very little interactions with his roommate, Deidara. When Itachi awoke in the mornings, Deidara was still asleep, and most often, when Itachi arrived back to the room, Deidara was nowhere to be found. And Itachi was okay with that. A small part of him kept nagging him to apologize for the words he had said to Deidara but he couldn't bring himself to do so. "You're right." Itachi conceded. "If you had asked me if I was seeing someone, I probably would have been reluctant to tell you because I would've felt uncomfortable. And you're right. I didn't want to tell you why Shisui and I were fighting because you knew why we were fighting! You knew that I tried to reach out to him on several occasions and he didn't reciprocate! It was clear as day, Deidara but you were probably too busy daydreaming like you always do!" Itachi spat. "Oh, and if you had asked me if I was homosexual or not, I would've been uncomfortable, but I would've told you the truth in order to avoid something like this occurring!" Sure, they weren't the nicest words to ever pass from his lips out into the open but nonetheless there was some truth in them. And how would he go about apologizing for that? I'm sorry for the tone I used the other night but my words still stand? If Deidara didn't already think of him as an emotionless ass, he definitely would after hearing that so Itachi decided to let it be.
When he lay awake at night trying to fall asleep, he could picture Deidara kissing him as if he were a silent observer, watching from his own bed. He could see himself glancing at the wall beside him as he tried to utter a simple "thank you" in response to Deidara's words of comfort. He could then picture Deidara's lopsided smile and eyes glazed over with what Itachi thought was comfort but in reality, had been lust and wanting, before leaning in to press his lips against Itachi's own. It would only be seconds as Deidara's long, blonde fringe would expose Itachi's face of pure horror while Deidara purred an apology.
What mindless idiot purrs an apology? Deidara, that's who. The blonde thought that Itachi was undeniably homosexual and had feelings for Deidara but just wasn't ready to make it official and thus apologized for his actions. What did he think would happen next? That Itachi would fiercely pull him back in a tenderer, deeper kiss that would inevitably lead to having sex on Deidara's bed? The mere thought repulsed Itachi so much that he vowed to stop letting his mind wander back to the events of that night. But the few times that Itachi did see Deidara in the room, he couldn't help but wonder if that's how the blond really imagined the night would end. It most definitely explained the low-lighting and the rose petals even if Deidara swore that they were for himself and for him alone.
"I just – I didn't – I just – I don't know, yeah! I'm sorry! I misread the entire situation! I misread you, yeah! I thought that you were gay! It was an honest mistake!" He remembered Deidara pleading with him. And as much as Itachi wanted to believe that it was an innocent mistake, he couldn't. It wasn't an innocent brushing of their hands, no. It was a calculated and very intentional kiss on the lips. And that was something that Itachi could not – would not – accept. While Deidara had apologized profusely in the days immediately following the incident, he had said some other troubling things as well that raised red flags in Itachi's mind.
"I've always had feelings for you, yeah. Ever since the first week of school."
What if, based on that statement alone, such a thing were to happen again? If Deidara had had feelings for him since the beginning of the school year and had the audacity to kiss him without first knowing if Itachi was homosexual or not, it stood to reason that those feelings wouldn't go away overnight.
"I may have been wrong about Sasori, yeah. But I know I'm not wrong about you, yeah. You told me not to rush into love, and I didn't. I waited until I was certain that you were gay. Yeah, I was wrong about you and Shisui, but in all my time as your roommate, I've been looking for signs, yeah. You never pay any attention to girls, yeah. Never."
It was these words that kept Itachi up late at night
I know I'm not wrong about you, yeah.
And it was those words that made Itachi's heart race and made his mind wonder during class. Why should Itachi apologize if Deidara was adamant about being in a relationship with Itachi, whether he was homosexual or not? (And most certainly was not!) But those very words still troubled Itachi. What if Deidara made advances towards him in the middle of the night when he was sleeping? What if Deidara spied on him while he was taking a shower or getting dressed in the public bathrooms down the hall of their dormitory? To anyone else, his fears were far-fetched. You're just being paranoid, cuz'! He could hear Shisui saying. The kiss was only the beginning, however, and Itachi wanted to put an end to all this so that he could focus on his studies like he came here to do instead of worrying about his homosexual roommate's motives.
"Hi, can I help you?" The man behind the campus residence life desk asked Itachi.
"I know it's past the deadline to switch rooms this semester, but my roommate and I haven't been seeing eye to eye recently and it's making it hard for me to focus on my studies." Itachi said without missing a beat. He'd been rehearsing what he would say all morning so that he wouldn't stumble over his words.
The man pursed his lips together and leaned forward in his chair. "Did you try to work things out with your roommate?"
I waited until I was certain that you were gay. Yeah, I was wrong about you and Shisui, but in all my time as your roommate, I've been looking for signs, yeah. "Yes." He lied.
"And you weren't able to resolve it with him?"
Itachi shook his head. "No sir, I wasn't."
"Did you talk to your RA about it?"
Itachi shook his head. "No sir, I didn't."
The man nodded and leaned back in his chair. "Talk to your RA about it. They're there to help resolve problems between roommates and help them to reach a mutual agreement without taking things to extremes." He said. "What year are you?"
"Freshman." Itachi answered.
The man nodded. "If you're having problems studying, there are all kinds of on-campus resources for you to use. Every dormitory has a lounge on each floor where you can study if your roommate is being too loud for you to concentrate. You could also go to the library or, if there aren't any events being held, study in the community center. Lots of students find quiet places to study there!" He smiled.
Noise isn't the issue. Itachi wanted to say. My roommate thinks that I am homosexual and is waiting to jump me if I should allow him to do so and it's affecting my studying. Itachi wasn't stupid. He may not have been here for long, but he knew that there were places for him to study if he needed peace and quiet. There weren't, however, places to sleep if you were worried about your roommate making sexual advances towards you in the middle of the night.
"Does that help?" The man asked.
Itachi nodded.
The man smiled. "Glad to hear it! Talk to your resident advisor if things don't clear up between you and your roommate or you resident director. If you have any problems reaching out to either of the two, my name is Yamato." He said and extended a hand for a hand shake.
Itachi reached out to clasp the man's hand to reciprocate the greeting. "Thanks. Have a nice day." Itachi muttered and turned on his heel to leave.
"Take care!" Yamato called behind him.
That was pointless, Itachi thought on his way back to his room. But what was he expecting to come out of it when he didn't divulge the details of his dilemma? If he had, the man probably would've made a call to security for sexual harassment which would probably remain on Deidara's record all throughout his college career and maybe even bleed into his post college career. And when you were an aspiring high school teacher, the words sexual harassment did not bode well for you at all. And as much as Itachi wanted to escape living with Deidara, he didn't want to ruin the blond's life.
And as the days went on, Itachi wondered why he had even thought about switching rooms. Deidara was harmless. He may have mistakenly assumed that Itachi was homosexual and set out to prove it, but since the day of their argument, Deidara kept his distance from Itachi. He didn't say much of anything except for the occasional "excuse me" when passing Itachi by to get from one part of the room the other and was seeming to avoid having any physical contact with Itachi altogether. If anything, Deidara seemed to return to his usual, bubbly, absent-minded self in a week's time, making Itachi question if he'd been able to move on that quickly or had simply forgotten all of the things that Itachi had said to him the other week.
And Itachi was okay with that.
-8-8-8-
Itachi had always loved libraries – quiet sanctuaries where would could escape the noises of the world around them – or in Itachi's case, the raucous chatter permeating his bedroom from a bevy of students passing by, laughing and carrying on as if they didn't have a care in the world. But in the library, things were different. Groups converged to work on projects at small tables, talking quietly amongst themselves as to who had what information and who would take responsibility of what part, as students' fingers clicked away at their laptop keyboards and printers whirred to life every thirty seconds in the background.
This, Itachi thought, is what college should sound like. To him, there was no greater sight than seeing his peers working diligently on assignments that would earn them a degree and hopefully catapult them into the job market after graduation. But as peaceful as the library was, he couldn't spend the night there. He could, but he didn't dislike being in his room so much that he had to resort to sleeping at a desk in the library. So when he finished revising an essay he had written way ahead of his due date only to find out that he had done it incorrectly when the professor explained the assignment in class earlier that day, he headed back to his room.
He had only made it ten feet past the library entrance when he heard somebody call out to him. "Hey! Itachi! Wait up! Is that you?"
Itachi turned in the direction of the familiar voice speaking to him from behind. "Kisame?"
Kisame smiled and raised his right hand by way of greeting. "I hoped that was you or else I'd look like a complete dumbass!" He laughed. "How's it going? I feel like I never see you anymore these days!"
Itachi shrugged. "Fine."
"Hitting the books like usual?" Kisame asked.
Wasn't that the point of college, Itachi wanted to say but nodded nonetheless.
"I'd expect nothing less!" Kisame said. "Where are you going?"
Itachi tilted his head in the direction of the freshman quad. "Back to my room. Why?"
"Because I was going to get something to eat and wanted to know if you wanted to tag along." He shrugged.
Itachi shook his head. "No thank you. I just ate not too long ago."
Kisame frowned. "Do you wanna tag along anyways? I'm not used to not seeing you every other day for tutoring."
Itachi had two options: go back to his room to skim chapter five of his communications text and chapter thirteen of his accounting text or accompany this man to eat a second dinner.
"You don't have to get anything to eat. We can just sit and talk."
Itachi didn't particularly enjoy just sitting and talking though. He preferred to simply sit in his room alone with his text books with no outside noises to bother him. But since Kisame insisted on catching up on the times, Itachi agreed to accompany him for dinner, albeit reluctantly.
During the short walk to the burger place where Kisame chose to eat, Itachi noted that he was wearing a track suit and carried a large duffle bag slung over one shoulder. "Are you just coming back from swim practice?"
Kisame nodded. "Hm-hm! I have class until 4:20pm and swim practice from 5 – 7pm before getting dinner and then heading back to my apartment to study."
As soon as the words left Kisame's mouth, Itachi wondered why he would opt to eat dinner so late instead of picking up something quick after his last class. Then it dawned on him that you had to wait several minutes after eating before going swimming, much less swimming for sport. "You live in an apartment?" He asked. In the time that he'd known Kisame, the upperclassmen had yet to say where he lived apart from a very vague hand gesture in the distance.
Kisame nodded. "On campus, but yeah I live in an apartment."
Itachi nodded and opened the door to the burger establishment so that Kisame could easily squeeze himself and his duffle bag through. "Do you like living in an apartment?"
"Thanks," Kisame said, passing through the door with ease, "and yeah! It's great! I love having a living room to play video games in with the guys on occasion, and I love having a room to myself. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like having other people around but sometimes I just need a space that's entirely my own, you know?"
Itachi nodded and followed behind as Kisame made his way up to the counter. After being accepted to the university his senior year of high school, Itachi dabbled around the school website soaking in all of the things his future college had to offer. And although he, as a freshman wouldn't get the chance to live in an apartment until he was an upperclassman of some sort, that didn't stop him from looking. And with everything that was going on in his life lately, he could use a space all his own.
"How're things going with you?" Kisame suddenly asked.
Itachi blinked a few times, snapping out of his daydream. Kisame had a burger in hand and had picked a tall table with equally tall bar stools to sit at. How had he been so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't remember Kisame ordering anything, much less picking out a table to sit at? "Good."
Kisame smiled. "How're things going with that firecracker roommate of yours? Have you snapped yet?"
How did he know? He couldn't know. That's impossible. There is no way that Kisame would know what's been going on between Deidara and myself. Unless Deidara told him.
"You two just seem like polar opposites to me," Kisame continued, "you're quiet and reserved whereas he strikes me as being the loud and obnoxious type."
He doesn't seem to know anything. Itachi concluded and exhaled to calm his racing heart. "Yeah. I'm not sure how I ended up with a roommate like him."
Kisame shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich. "He is your roommate still, right?" He asked, covering his mouth with his hand as he spoke. "Because I never see you guys together anymore. Like, I used to see you two eat lunch together all the time last semester. Did something happen?"
Itachi shook his head. "Our schedules don't really coincide this semester."
"Hm." Kisame hummed in understanding. "I was wondering because I see you all the time, but you're always either too far away, in a hurry, or studying and I never get the chance to catch up with you. And then I see blondie, what's his name again?"
"Deidara."
"Yes! I see blondie occasionally too but with his new friend of his—"
New friend? Itachi wondered.
He didn't realize he had uttered his thoughts aloud until Kisame nodded and said "Yeah, well I mean, I guess he's his friend. I always see them together." He said.
Deidara did seem to be happier lately, something Itachi had originally attributed to moving past their argument and continuing on with his life. "Do you know who it is?" He asked. In all the time they lived together, Itachi had met various people who either shared a class with Deidara, or a random stranger he had started a conversation with in the quad and befriended the same day. But Itachi didn't know of anybody that Deidara had recently befriended.
Kisame nodded. "It's this arrogant red-headed bastard who lives down the hall from me."
"Is his hair naturally red or dyed red?" Itachi asked, hoping that it was a type of naturally occurring type of red hair.
Kisame nodded. "Oh he dyes it blood-red. You've probably seen him around campus before, he's hard to miss. Tall, skinny, looks bored as hell all the time, used to date this girl with pink hair…what was his name? Satsujin…Satosu…Sasoi…"
"Sasori?" Itachi supplied.
Immediately Kisame's eyes lit up. "Yeah! That's it! Sasori!" He grinned. "Have you seen him before?"
"A few times, yes." He answered, gingerly stepping down from his stool. "I should get back to my room. I some things I need to do for tomorrow."
"Like reread your text book for the third time this semester?" Kisame joked but didn't push the issue any further. "I'm just kidding! Do what you need to do! But before you go—"
"Yes?" He asked and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder.
"I was wondering if you could help me out with my statistics homework? I know it's early in the semester, but today's lecture completely flew over my head and I want to get a handle on it before my grade plummets, you know?"
"When is it due?" Itachi sighed. Knowing Kisame, it was probably due the next day by class time.
"Don't worry; it's not due for another week yet." Kisame must have noticed the shock on Itachi's face and elaborated. "I made a New Year's Resolution to budget my time more effectively this semester so that I don't feel overwhelmed like last semester."
"Good." Itachi nodded and he truly meant what he said.
"When do you want to meet up to help me work on it? I mean, if you're too busy, I'm sure there are a thousand statistics tutors who would be able to help me it's just that you helped me pass Philo101 last semester and I didn't want to break the awesome dynamic that you and I had together."
At that, Deidara's words floated into Itachi's head. "Kisame's gay and you're not threatened by him."
And for a split second, Itachi allowed his eyes to search for signs that Kisame could be homosexual. His hair, usually neatly styled to a fine point was messier than usual, but that might have been due to the fact that Kisame had just spent the last couple of hours wearing a swim cap on his head. His eyes were a shade of chestnut so warm, compared with that friendly smile always donning his face that it was hard to deny him. And although he was wearing a full body track suit, Itachi had seen how thick his forearms and calves were from vigorous exercise. Homosexuals didn't work out like that, did they? Itachi found himself wondering.
Why was he thinking of those things? Why did he care? "…I didn't want to break the awesome dynamic that you and I had." Why did he assume that those words implied that Kisame liked him? For all Itachi knew, that was Kisame's usual way of speaking. What's more, his voice didn't contain that feminine lilt that Deidara's had – a telltale marker, in Itachi's mind, for determining a male's sexual orientation. "You said its' not due for a week?"
Kisame nodded. "Yeah, it's not due until next Tuesday."
"Can I get back to you on that then? I promise I won't keep you waiting until the last minute."
"This weekend maybe?"
"Maybe." Itachi answered and pushed open the doors to the establishment. While he originally wanted to skim over his text books in preparation for tomorrow and Thursday's classes, there was something that he needed to discuss with Deidara first.
-8-8-8-
When Itachi returned back to the room, Deidara wasn't there. While Itachi may have been purposefully avoiding his roommate for the past week and a half, he knew that Deidara's latest class let out no later than five o'clock.
It was a quarter to eight when Itachi returned to the room.
After placing his messenger bag by the side of his desk, Itachi sat down in his chair and opened up his accounting text book until Deidara returned. But after three hours of rereading material he'd already covered either by himself or in class, Itachi gave up waiting for Deidara to return and didn't panic about it. Deidara usually stayed up late and given the circumstances of late, most likely stayed out even later to avoid being in the same room with Itachi.
There's always tomorrow, Itachi reasoned and gathered up his tooth brush and night clothes for the evening.
As fate would have it, Itachi didn't get the chance to talk to Deidara three days later on Friday afternoon.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Itachi asked when Deidara returned back to the room at 1:45pm.
Deidara flinched slightly and set his bag down on the bed. Without turning to face him, he replied "Sure, yeah, but I don't have much time. I have somewhere I need to be in a few minutes."
In that case, Itachi wouldn't waste any time beating around the bush. "Kisame told me that you've been spending more and more time with Sasori lately."
Deidara, who was busy replacing textbooks with art books, note books with sketch books and mechanical pencils with charcoal sticks, halted in his movements briefly before continuing what he was doing. "Yeah?"
"Yeah?" Just "yeah"? "Do you share any classes with him?"
Deidara shook his head. "Not this semester, yeah. We started hanging out about a week ago after art club, yeah. We don't have a lot in common, but you know what they say, opposites attract."
Itachi didn't understand. How could he talk about the man who broke his heart and manipulated his feelings for his own personal gain so breezily as if nothing had happened between them? "You're not…" how did he want to say this?
"No, yeah." Deidara answered before he could even formulate the question. "We're not dating."
"So you're just friends?" Itachi asked.
Deidara nodded.
"I'm sorry, but how can you be friends with someone who purposefully manipulated you so that he could make his girlfriend jealous?"
"He and Sakura broke up." He answered nonchalantly and bent over to dig around in his cluttered desk for something.
"That doesn't excuse the way he treated you last semester during homecoming."
"That's the thing. He broke up with Sakura before I asked him to be my date to the homecoming dance, but she didn't think that he meant it which is why she was furious to see him and me together at the dance, yeah."
"And do you honestly believe that?"
Again, Deidara nodded. "I do. Yeah he got back together with her that night but he dumped her during Christmas break because she complained too much and was too needy." Deidara explained. "He realized, after they had broken up that he felt something for me the night of the dance but tried to ignore it because of how adamant Sakura was about getting back together, yeah. And after they broke up, he finally acknowledged the spark he felt when we were dancing that night, apologized to me a few weeks ago and asked if I'd like to give him – give us – a second chance, yeah."
It took all of the willpower that Itachi had not to roll his eyes during Deidara's little anecdote regarding Sasori. He remembered Sasori approaching him in the beginning of the semester, seemingly trying to repair the bond between Deidara and himself but Itachi wouldn't listen. He only remembered Sasori emphasizing the words "Sakura and I broke up!" but Itachi held up a hand before he could say anymore. He wasn't dumb enough to fall for a lame excuse like that but he feared that Deidara would fall for something like that. Or worse, he'd fall for Sasori again. "Deidara, do you remember how you felt the night of the homecoming dance? You were crying." Itachi said. When Deidara didn't say anything in response, he continued. "Do you honestly want to go through something like that again?"
"I don't care, yeah. He already apologized."
"Just because he apologized doesn't mean that he's changed since October, Deidara! For all you know, he could be manipulating you again to satisfy some other ulterior motive of his, he could be—"
"Listen, yeah." Deidara said, turning to face Itachi head on. "A month ago, you told me that the tried to apologize for what happened at homecoming. A few weeks ago, he came to me himself and apologized and he swore that he and Sakura broke up for good this time, yeah."
Itachi exhaled in frustration, unable to bite his tongue on the matter any longer. "I guarantee that Sasori is just toying with you, Deidara! How can you be so blind not to see beneath the surface? And don't tell me it's because he apologized. A person's actions are what define them, not their words."
Deidara's eyes narrowed as he picked up his bag. "Some apologies can be genuine, yeah. And I'd hate myself for not giving him another chance after he sincerely apologized to me, yeah."
"Sincerely? Deidara, how can you be so sure that he doesn't have some kind of underlying ulterior motive behind his apology?!" Itachi cried.
Deidara shrugged and turned the handle to open the door. "I don't. But unlike you, Itachi, I know how to give people a second chance."
All I can say in response to that last sentence is DAYUM! Deidara just TOLD him how it was! Whew-ee! Goodness gracious! Can't wait for the next chapter (which I have ideas for, but like I mentioned up top, I am going on vacation soon and with Christmas coming up at the same time, I'm very, very, very busy trying to get shit done -_- If I had to guess when you'll see chapter 15, I'd say sometime in January but I'm not positive.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check my profile page if you're curious about a story status of mine. At the top of my profile page, I will tell you my own personal status (which should say how busy I am), and under the heading "STORY STATUSES" you'll see what I plan to work on next, in what order, and how far into writing the next chapter I am (percentage-wise). Sometimes I don't get around to updating that as much as I should but I update it AT LEAST once a month which will give you a pretty good idea where I'm at in my writing processes.
****To Dragon77: Whelp! Deidara definitely got him back...
****To The Secret Sal: Deidara IS everything and while I didn't beat my 48hr update record this time (far from it, actually), I hope that the return of Smug Bitch Deidara was worth the wait~ ;)))
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: *opens mouth to speak and promptly closes it*
****To everyone else who reviewed chapter 14 and didn't get a specific shout-out this time: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful reviews! They make my heart continue to beat, they really do! (God, I forgot how many reviews I got last chapter, have mercy! Goodness gracious!) But anyways, I love, love, love the reviews I get from you and be on the look-out for shout-outs in the (hopefully near) future!
Until next time~
Sasori33-001
Fun Fact: I carefully selected the names Kisame supplied when trying to remember Sasori's name. Using a Japanese dictionary, I looked for Japanese words that could be used to describe Sasori's character (well, for 2 out of 3 of them at least!) and came up with the following:
1. Satsujin = A murderer (this one was for laughs, I swear!)
2. Satosu = To warn/advise (as when Itachi warns Deidara that Sasori may have ulterior motives up his sleeve~)
3. Sasoi = Invitation/Enticement (as when Sasori invited Deidara to the homecoming dance)