Author's Note: Behold! A completed chapter! TBLU is officially off its hiatus and I'd like to thank AbsoluteAnarchy for the uplifting review of my last..."update" if you will. You gave me renewed vigor to see this thing through til the end (plus I want to hit 100 reviews and join the 100,000 word count club *wink* *wink*). I can't say full steam ahead because my many jobs and school are still factors but I'm proud to say that I have a good chunk of early March through mid April planned out (this chapter takes place the first week of March 2016 and I plan to wrap things up at the end of the semester which is set to be early/mid May).
Also~ I plan to leave some conflicts unresolved so I think a sequel may be in the works~ ;) For now, let me just focus on cranking out the rest of this fic and we'll reassess when we reach the finish line!
Enjoy the COMPLETED chapter 16!
"THAT KID'S SOMETHING ELSE, I tell you…" Kisame finally spoke a few minutes later and wiped the corners of his eyes. "But I gotta give the kid some credit, he's sharper than most people I know."
Itachi blinked a few times. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well it's just…" Kisame started to say before chuckling some more, "a lot of people around here see two hundred and sixty-eight pounds of testosterone when they see me. You wouldn't believe how many girls attend our swim meets just to stare and get all giddy when I look their way. Or how many chicks ask me to be their date to homecoming and prom. That's all anybody ever thinks of when they see me. The muscle-y athlete who should have girls wrapped around his finger at all times."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm not gay if that's what you're thinking."
Itachi breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm bi." Kisame said with a shake of his head. "I know it's hard to believe that the guy who's six foot seven and can do the breaststroke in record time would be interested in his own gender. People don't usually think that about me. But I don't care if you have a dick or a clit. It doesn't matter to me. So long as your heart's in the right place…that's all that matters really. Life's too short, you know?"
Itachi's eyes burned from the few tears he let spill over as he squinted at the athlete sitting on the bed across from him. I'm not tired. So why can't I open my eyes any further?
"Your heart's in the right place, Itachi. It really is."
Itachi raised his eyebrows but still he couldn't fully open his eyes. Why won't they open? Even with his contact lenses in, Kisame was a blur in the center of his vision. I stopped crying. Did I take my contacts out? No…I would've remembered doing that. So why can't I open my eyes?
"You may not think so," Kisame continued, "but like I said before – grief makes us do weird things sometimes. But deep down, I know that your heart's in the right place." And with that, he quickly closed the gap between them as he brought their lips together in a chaste kiss.
A dry kiss that tasted like fabric.
Itachi opened his eyes to find himself lying face down against his pillow and blearily glanced up to check the time on his phone. 1:58 AM.
Great. No wonder I had such a hard time opening my eyes. He thought to himself and rolled over to lie on his back when a stark realization dawned on him. Did I just dream of Kisame kissing me? He blinked a few times as he tried to remember the details of his dream which were fleeing his memory like the sand in an hour glass. One minute they were sitting on Itachi's bed talking about Deidara and the next Kisame was saying something and then…he kissed him.
Itachi sighed and tossed back the covers. As tired as he was, his mind would no doubt pick up where it left off and quite frankly, Itachi didn't care to see where things went from that point on. Even if he tried convincing himself that it didn't mean anything and tried to fall back asleep, his quickening heartbeat would determine otherwise and in another hour Itachi would wake up in a cold sweat after witnessing part two.
It'd been three – scratch that – it'd been four days since Itachi had gone to Kisame's apartment to help him with his statistics homework. And everything had been going fine until Kisame insisted upon talking about Itachi's social life. Until then, Itachi thought that everything was fine. It had been nearly two months since Shisui died and with it, the gossip surrounding his death. And although Deidara was pursuing Sasori again, it was none of Itachi's concern. Everything was fine.
He was fine.
That is, until he found himself wiping the tears from his eyes on Kisame's bed where he would find out that the one person he trusted not to have feelings for him in any regard…was bisexual.
"I'm sorry…you're what?" Itachi had asked him.
Kisame chuckled. "I'm bi. I like chicks as much as I like dicks."
On any other given day, Itachi would've frowned at Kisame's vulgarity but in this moment he was so taken aback by Kisame's admission that he found he didn't know what to say.
"Shocking, I know, but that's just how I am. Dicks, tits, pussies, clits, pecs, I don't really give a damn either way. So long as the person's got a good head on their shoulders and a heart of gold to match." He smiled before adding "Looks play a part too. A small part, but a part nonetheless. Anywho, what were we talking about? Deidara?"
Itachi nodded although he was only half listening at this point.
"Um...that's right; you were saying how Deidara's got you pegged as a 'homosexual,' right? Like I said, the kid strikes me as a bit out there. I don't meant to be rude but he seems very opinionated. Don't let him get to you, though. If you're not gay, you're not gay. You're the only person who has the authority to determine that."
"I don't know." Itachi whispered. "I feel like I don't know anything anymore."
Kisame smiled and placed a large palm on Itachi's shoulder. "It's okay. You've been through a lot this semester so far and it's all catching up to you so of course you're overwhelmed. It happens to the best of us—"
"But I thought you were heterosexual."
"Well it's not like I got a big flashing sign on my head that says 'I'm bi! I'll take whatever life gives!' That's not how it works." He said.
When did it get so far out of hand? When did he become so emotional all of a sudden? When did he become so absorbed in everyone else's problems? He came here to get good grades so that he could get a well-paying job. Not so that he could find himself having a discussion about human sexuality on the bed of a bisexual athlete.
On the bed of a bisexual athlete...that is what his life has come to.
"Itachi, look at me." Kisame said, gaining Itachi's attention. "Don't let it get to you. Deidara made a mistake and he said he was sorry, right?"
Itachi nodded.
"There. He hasn't done anything to you since then, has he? Anything that has harmed your person at least?"
"No." Itachi answered in a small voice. And when did he lose all of his confidence? When did this happen?
When the world as he knew it came crashing down all around him.
When Shisui's life ended.
"See?" Kisame continued. "Deidara made a mistake and apologized for it. Life goes on. I'm bi. I was bi when I met you, I was bi yesterday, I was bi when I woke up this morning and I'm betting all the money in my wallet right now that I'll be bi tomorrow. I know it's shocking but that doesn't change a thing. Or at least, I hope it doesn't change anything because we've got a pretty good thing going here, don't you think?"
"What?"
"You and I. We've got a pretty good thing going here. You helping me with my statistics homework, me getting a good grade in my class...I hope that the fact that I'm bi doesn't change any of that because by the looks of it, this class is only going to get harder." He laughed.
"I should go." Itachi said abruptly.
"Wait, why?"
"I don't need this." He whispered to himself thinking that Kisame wouldn't hear this.
"Itachi." Kisame commanded. It was one word but Kisame said it in such a way that had Itachi frozen inches from the door. "What you need right now is a friend because you're trying to deal with everything by yourself and look what it's doing to you. Look at you. You need to talk to this to someone and I don't think you're leaving to schedule an appointment with the school counselor are you?" He said. "Okay, that might have been the wrong thing to say, but the point is, you've kept all of these things bottled up for God knows how long and look what it's doing to you. I'm not expecting you to open up to me completely and tell me your hopes and dreams or what your folks do for a living or anything like that. All I'm saying is that—"
Just then, Itachi's phone rang, effectively silencing Kisame mid-sentence. Itachi frowned when he looked at the caller ID. "I'm sorry, I have to take this." He explained and answered the phone. "Hello?...I'm good...How are you?...No, not at the moment why?...Next weekend...Spring break starts next weekend...Friday afternoon...Good…" He answered and moved the phone away from his face to talk to Kisame. "I should go. It's my mother." He said.
Kisame nodded. "Let me show you out."
"Okay." Itachi agreed and placed the phone to his ear again. "What was that?...I'm sorry I didn't catch that last part, can you repeat it again?" Itachi asked and followed to Kisame to the entrance of the apartment.
"Take care." Kisame mouthed as Itachi walked into the hallway.
They didn't kiss.
So had Itachi dreamt that they had? He pushed through the swinging door of the communal bathrooms down the hall with more force than what was necessary and padded over to the large mirror that lined the wall. The creases under his eyes liked longer than usual, more pronounced and the capillaries in his corneas were swollen from just waking up. He wasn't homosexual. He didn't have feelings for Kisame. That much was for certain.
Then why was he dreaming that they had kissed?
Sure, his view of Kisame had changed from his their first real conversation back in October. Although Kisame was still an athlete who mainly cared about getting good grades so that he could stay on the team and keep his scholarship, he was also very sympathetic to the feelings of those around him. Itachi wasn't related to him. He wasn't Kisame's roommate. He wasn't what you'd call "close friends" with Kisame either. They weren't even in the same year of college.
Itachi was Kisame's tutor.
And yet, Kisame cared for him as if Itachi were his younger brother.
Just as Shisui would've done if he were still alive.
-8-8-8-
"Club sandwich and a medium drink?"
Itachi offered the lunch lady a short nod and handed her his student ID card. While she processed the transaction he stuffed the plastic wrapped sandwich into the cook of his elbow and picked up his drink.
"Have a nice day and take care." She smiled, returning his card to him.
"Thanks, you too." He replied back. Ever since his fight with Deidara, he'd been eating anywhere but the cafeteria. If he sat in the cafeteria, he would be asking for drama. He'd never forget the near screaming match he had with Shisui in the cafeteria the semester before and didn't want a repeat with Deidara this semester. Pretty soon, the other students would begin to catch on to this trend and keep their distance. Itachi would be happy with that if it weren't for the negative stigma that came attached.
"Hey! Itachi!"
What now? He wondered and quickly stuffed his ID into his wallet.
"To your left!" The voice called out.
Itachi looked left to the bulletin board advertising the Student Government Association.
"Sorry! Other left!"
This was more work than it was worth. Did he really want to know who was trying to gain his attention? Sitting at a table to his right was none other than the upperclassman he was tutoring, another individual whom Itachi was trying to avoid at the moment. He considered ignoring Kisame's invitation to join him for lunch but he'd already made eye contact so what other excuse was there? "How are you?" He asked plainly and approached the table. If he kept his questions short and formal, hopefully Kisame would follow suit.
"I'm doing well. What about you?"
So far so good. "Same."
"Are you sure?" Kisame pressed. "Because last time I saw you you were really upset."
Why can't anything in my life be simple for once? "I'm fine, thank you for asking."
"Are you sure?" He pressed again and patted the spot across from him. "Have a seat! You don't have class soon do you?"
Itachi considered his answer. If he said yes, it offered him an easy way out of this current conversation but was that too convenient? Would Kisame see through his lie and call him out for it later? Conversely, if he sat down with this man, he would be willingly subjecting himself to a barrage of personal questions that he'd rather not answer. "No." He relented and sunk into the seat he'd been offered. As much as he wanted to avoid the topic, he'd waited too long to give Kisame an answer and saw no way out of the situation now.
"You seemed pretty upset the other day when we were studying in my apartment. I just wanted to know if you were okay and all…" Kisame said.
Itachi unwrapped his club sandwich, hoping that doing so would give him something to focus on other than Kisame's penetrating gaze. "I was tired and unjustly took out my frustrations with Deidara on you. I apologize for that."
Kisame waved a dismissive hand in his direction. "Oh no, you're fine. But you shouldn't have to shoulder everything you're dealing with on you own. You can talk to people about that kind of thing, you know?"
Itachi looked up to meet the older student's eyes and answered "I know." I know but there is nothing for me to gain from doing so. He imagined talking to his mother about everything that had been taking place in his life lately and envisioned it sound something along the lines of "Oh honey, why didn't you tell me that you were dealing with so much? You never mentioned any of that on the phone whenever you called…" She'd say in regards to Shisui's drinking. He didn't dare consider what she would say in response to his shared kiss with his roommate on Valentine's Day. The roommate that he still shared a room with.
"I'm not saying you have to tell everyone on campus what's going on in your life but don't try to keep it all in."
"I'm fine, Kisame. Really." Was he really fine? Obviously not if Kisame had taken it upon himself to play the part of the school counselor. In the middle of the cafeteria of all places. "Why are you so invested in my well-being? What is there for you to gain?" Itachi ventured, unable to bite his tongue any longer.
Kisame pried open a small bag of potato chips and glanced up to meet Itachi's eyes. "I saw a side of you the other day that I didn't know you had." He began to explain. "Don't take this the wrong way but you're like a forty-eight year old man stuck in the body of an eighteen year old."
Interesting comparison.
"But the other day you were like any other eighteen year old. Until last week I pegged you as that bookworm that does homework in the library all day. I had no idea you were dealing with so much drama. Usually you're so calm and quiet but last week it was clear that you were frustrated and overwhelmed and angry and that's a side of you I thought I'd never see."
Itachi could say the same about Kisame. If anyone had said that he and Kisame would be having a heartfelt conversation about Itachi's mental and emotional health in the midst of a college cafeteria in the beginning of the year Itachi would have laughed out loud. At the time, every athlete attending college was the same in Itachi's mind. They were the kind of people who ate in groups, laughed loudly, catcalled pretty blonde girls in short skirts who passed by and held contests to see who could belch the loudest.
But before him sat someone who cared enough call him over and ask how he was doing instead of offering his condolences and pretending that he and Shisui were friends. Unlike everyone else, Kisame took the time to listen to what Itachi had to say. He seemed to be genuinely interested in Itachi's well-being and made sure to follow up with him after their last encounter.
"What does your textbook say?" Itachi asked, completely rerouting the direction of the conversation.
Kisame retracted his forearm from the book he was using as an armrest. "Applied Anatomy and Physiology for Manual Therapists."
Itachi stretched out his arms and opened his palms. "May I take a look?"
"Sure!" Kisame smiled and handed him the thick text. "What? Do you think I carry around big heavy textbooks just to impress you? Statistics isn't my only class, just so you know."
"What class is this for?"
"Body Systems and Applied Anatomy one."
How was it that a science major struggled so much with introduction to statistics? "Are you pursuing a career in the medical field?" Itachi couldn't picture Kisame donning the school's purple scrub attire and couldn't recall a time when he had ever seen the man wearing such garb.
"No, no, no, no, no. I'm a Health and Phys. Ed. major." He answered.
That made more sense. Regardless, Itachi flipped through the physiology textbook, taking in the flicker of diagrams detailing the different body systems and their functions. "I never knew what you were studying before now." Itachi admitted and slid the book across the table back to Kisame.
"That's because it never came up until now." He smiled. "My turn. Let me guess, you're majoring in…philosophy!"
Itachi shook his head. "Accounting."
Kisame snapped his fingers and plunged his hand into the bag of chips. "Well that explains why you're so good at math then. But I wouldn't be surprised if you were studying to become a philosopher because you aced philosophy last semester."
Itachi picked at the strands of lettuce hanging from his long forgotten sandwich. "Thanks. So why Health and Phys. Ed?" He asked and mentally kicked himself. He needed only to look at Kisame's build to find his answer. "I mean, when did you decide that you wanted to become a gym teacher?"
Kisame crossed his arms and finished chewing the handful of chips he'd shoved in his mouth prior to Itachi asking the question. "Last year."
"Last year?"
Kisame nodded. "I was a Marine Bio student 'til the end of my sophomore year."
"Why'd you switch majors?"
"General Chemistry II." Kisame answered. "I barely passed the first general chemistry course I took so I don't know why I thought the second one would be any different." He laughed. "And I failed Calculus for the Life Sciences which was probably a sign to wake up and switch majors!"
It made sense to Itachi why Kisame would change majors. Science courses weren't for everyone. Even Deidara, who was fairly competent with formulas and computations struggled to keep up with the course load of his own major every now and again. Itachi was certain that he himself could manage in such a specialty but he never favored a hands-on learning approach which was a necessity when conducting experiments in a laboratory setting. Although Health and Physical Education dealt with aspects of science, the main focus would be in the kinesthetic or physical aspects of the discipline.
"Let's just say," Kisame continued, "that I'm more of a National Geographic Channel kind of guy, not a Organic Chemistry kind of guy, you know what I mean?"
"I understand." Itachi said and looked at his watch. "I should probably get going."
"Get going? You barely touched your sandwich!" Kisame lightly protested. "Is your class starting soon?"
He shrugged and went to work rewrapping his long forgotten sandwich. "In forty five minutes or so but I like to look over the material before the start of every class and I can't concentrate in here."
Kisame smiled and ran a hand through his dark spiky locks. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I should probably be studying for a quiz I have this afternoon but as you can see I haven't gotten very far." He said, gesturing to the text books he had since resumed using as an armrest.
Itachi smiled at that and rose to his feet. "Good luck with that."
"Thanks! See you sometime next week?"
Itachi shook his head. "Next week's spring break."
"Oh that's right I forgot about that. Damn."
Itachi leaned over to pick up his messenger bag up from the floor. "Don't worry; I'll help you with your statistics homework when we get back."
Kisame's eyes lit up. "Thank God! What would I do without you?" He asked.
It was clear to Itachi that Kisame probably wasn't planning to do any sort of homework over the break. Luckily Itachi had the foresight to know that Kisame would put off a homework assignment or major project until the day before it was due and come begging Itachi to help him out with it. It was so commonplace that Itachi was unbothered by it. "For starters, you would locate your textbook?" Itachi smirked.
And as expected, Kisame's jaw dropped. "I see what you did there and for your information I know where my textbook is!"
The underclassman nodded and turned on his heel to leave with his sandwich in hand. "See you in two weeks, Kisame."
Kisame sent a short nod in Itachi's direction. "Take care, Itachi. And hey! Don't party too hard you hear me?"
He raised his hand and waved off the comment. "I could say the same to you, Kisame."
He called over his shoulder and turned to exit the cafeteria.
It wasn't until he was outside that he realized that he was still smiling.
For once Itachi shared an uncomplicated, undramatic, simple lunch with someone who made him smile. What more can you ask for in a chapter?
Tell me what you thought! I know it might not have been the most exciting nor thrilling chapter in the world but I think it's a necessary one!
SHOUT-OUTS:
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: You were the only person to review my little "Announcement" which I have since deleted but alas, your review for "chapter 16" is still there. If you'd like, you can post a review as a "guest" and just give your name as "AbsoluteAnarchy" if you want (I'd appreciate that) or send me your thoughts in an e-mail/private message (much love! ~M. R.)
****To Nanaki Lioness: I think Itachi is slowly starting to come around, don't'cha think? (I'm still trying to get around to that wonderfully long private message by the way! I'm trying! TT^TT)
****To Kandybell: Thank you for the review! It means so much to me to hear from the people who read it and it especially means a lot to hear from new people! So thank you! And I think things are starting to look up for Itachi, don't'cha think? And on the subject of the story's main pairing...I will not give you a concrete answer because I think it would be more fun to see the story unfold, don't you think? (telling you the main pairing would kinda ruin the story's spontaneity! But I do have an idea as to who will end up with who if anything.)
****To Dragon77: Was Itachi's reaction anything like what you were expecting? :3
****To JigokuShoujosRevenge: I'd say Itachi's mood is improving! Wouldn't you? ;)
Until next time! (which will probably be end of November/end of December/January in general*sigh*)
~Sasori33-001
P.S. I have a tumblr account now: Sasori33-001. I'll be posting what I'm working on or plan to work on (fingers crossed - this update kinda came out of the blue!), snippets of chapters (pre-update/post-update), and the occasional drawing for any one of my stories or random drawings in general :/ Check it out!