Chapter 43

We eventually made it upstairs to the bed and of course I was so relaxed that I was immediately asleep. Waking up was due to Ranger moving, something that hadn't happened before. Normally if I was asleep, he could untangle himself from me and leave me fast asleep. Not this morning.

"What's wrong?"

Because that was the only thing that would account for the vibes that I was getting.

I was sitting up as I felt Ranger's hand on my arm, stopping me from moving any further.

"We have another meeting this morning"

I didn't know what to say and from Ranger's expression was finding it hard to decipher his mood, but now I was curious about the meeting that Ranger had alluded to. When I came out of the bathroom Ranger had disappeared but laid on the bed was a set of clothes that I supposed he wanted me to wear, but I have to admit that the dress laid out had me wondering who this meeting would be with. It was a deep maroon color made from wool which on the hanger just seemed shapeless. Once on over the thick grey tights it looked better than I thought it would. It clung to my body and ended midthigh so with the maroon ankle boots I felt ready to face anybody.

Downstairs I found Ranger pouring me a coffee and looked him over before I accepted it. He was wearing a dark grey suit with a black shirt underneath and looked delectable as he stood there.

"There'll be breakfast at the meeting"

Ah, that accounted for the empty breakfast bar. Something was off because to me Ranger seemed a bit distant as though something was worrying him. I never got a chance to query him before Ranger was helping me into a long thick coat. Les and Hector were waiting for us down in the garage along with Ansgar. I was glad to have Ansgar come with us because it made me feel safe, daft when I was with three formidable men. The journey was short and although I knew that we were somewhere on the outskirts of Trenton I wasn't familiar with the area. Ranger parked the car in an underground garage of a large office building before he helped me down from the truck. Hector stayed in the garage but Les came with us as we walked over to the elevators.

I was feeling nervous with not knowing what we here for and was cursing myself for having never asked. Damn, why had my curiosity left me this morning, why hadn't I pushed Ranger on what was happening?

When we exited onto a corridor Les remaining outside so that it was just Ranger and me, and Ansgar, who walked through a door. I hadn't even been aware that he had a tight grip on my hand which was unusual for him and had me feeling very nervous of what we were walking into . As I looked up, I wasn't looking around me, instead I was seeing who was here. One face loomed in front of me, a face that had so much panic come through me that I felt the blood rushing through my head.

"Babe. I didn't know"

Know what, was the first thought that crossed my mind before the images of what I'd seen came flooding back. I was clinging to Ranger like a life line because he was all that was keeping me from drifting back into the darkness again. Opening my eyes, I was only too pleased to be seeing his face but from his expression, the tightness of his muscles in his jaw I could detect an anger from within him. His untamed beast was close to the surface, and I began to panic in case it was me who had somehow caused that.

"Babe. I am so sorry. The chief and Joe Juniak asked for us to be here, had I known then I would never have kept something like that from you"

"He's alive?"

Or was seeing Joe stood at that table a figment of my imagination? How could he be here when he was supposed to be dead, when everyone knew that he'd died?

"Apparently he needed to disappear. He's been moved into the WITSEC program so after today you'll never see him again"

I tried to calm my breathing as Ranger explained that to me and I was believing what he'd said to me. He wouldn't keep something like that from me, would he?

"Is he still here?"

"Yes. We need to listen to what's going to be said. Are you okay to do that?"

Was I? I closed my eyes and focused on slowing my breathing down. The buzzing in my head slowly receded as I tried to understand what was happening. Okay, I could do this, I had to do this because I wanted the answers that had plagued me ever since I came to my senses inside Joe's house.

"Yes, but please don't leave me"

"Never"

I felt the touch of his lips on my forehead and as he swept a curl behind my ear before I dared to open my eyes again. As Ranger helped me to sit up, I still didn't have the courage to look up, but knowing that Ranger's arm was around me gave me some strength to move my eyes until I was looking across the room again. I hadn't realized that Ansgar was with me, sat like a sentry guard next to me. With him and Ranger beside me I could do this.

Joe was sat at the round table looking down at some papers in his hands. To be honest he looked like shit with the start of a beard on his face and was even showing the start of grey hairs at the side of his face. He looked tired and gaunt, nothing like the man that I had known and because of that some of the apprehension lifted from me.

"Steph, I hate that circumstances have involved you in something so dangerous, but if I had to choose who I would want it to be, then it would be you"

I looked to my right to see my Uncle Joe crouched down next to the couch that I was sat on. He was the last person that I expected to see but in some ways, I felt relieved at seeing him. Joe Juniak wasn't my uncle but my godfather and had been a close friend of my family. He'd started as a police officer and moved through the ranks and then made the decision to stand as Mayor of Trenton. I trusted him, so maybe that was why he was here.

"Explain it to me please"

Because I needed to know what the hell I'd gotten myself involved with. Uncle Joe brought a chair over and sat down so I kept my eyes on him wanting to ignore everyone else in the room.

"The chief became concerned when he discovered that certain criminals were dying before they got to court or after their court hearing if they were for some reason allowed to go free. He asked Detective Morelli to look into it, but not to let anyone know what he was doing. Morelli discovered a few patterns, but it was after one of his cases where he was sure the accused was guilty that he released that he had found an opening. He made it known how annoyed he was with the system and that a man like that shouldn't be allowed to be alive let alone walk free"

That must have been the case that he'd told me about, the one with the prostitutes and how annoyed he was.

"He was approached by another detective to vent his frustrations and was able to talk his way into being a confidant for this man. He even helped by looking at other cases to investigate if there were other people who had basically got away with murder"

So Joe was working undercover with a man that he'd seen as a respected policeman. No wonder his emotions were all over the place. I waited because I wanted to know why Joe had treated me as he had. Regardless of the stress he was under it would never excuse his behavior.

"After the robbery at the bank he was approached by that officer and told that you had in fact spoken with a judge who had died, and then you'd been in contact with a man who could divulge a lot of information. Morelli was already deep in his confidence, he'd even passed on some of their information to the detective's contact, so he was conflicted"

Could that have been the woman that I'd thought was Terry, the one I now suspected as being the assassin. I wondered if Joe knew that he was responsible for passing on a death sentence.

"He decided that by keeping you close to him that he'd be keeping you safe whilst using the excuse of knowing you well enough that he'd be able to get you to tell him what you knew"

And there it was, Joe's excuse for taking me from the hospital. He was using me as part of his job to get information from me, but he also used the situation to dupe me into getting back together with him. Keeping me safe, that was a joke because it was him that I needed to be kept safe from. So why was he here now and why had Ranger and I been asked to attend this meeting.

"Stephanie. Morelli's cover was blown, though he says he isn't too sure how. He was shot in his home, so we decided that under the circumstances it was prudent to remove him from Trenton for his own safety, considering what he'd come across. He's worried about you, which is why you're here. He feels that it would be safer for you if"

"No"

It was as if I knew what Uncle Joe was going to say and I had no doubt that Joe was behind it, pushing for me to hide out with him.

"Stephanie he's only thinking of you"

"I won't go anywhere with Joe Morelli so don't even go there. I've managed to stay safe with Ranger's help"

I was annoyed now and was finding it very hard to keep myself from shouting. Was that why I was here? So Joe could cart me off to some safehouse with him. Did he really think that I was so desperate that I wanted to be with him. I watched as Uncle Joe stood up and turned to Ranger. Ranger looked furious so I knew that Ranger understood me enough to stand up to any persuasive arguments thrown at him. As they left the room, I looked up to see who else was here. There were a couple of guys at the other end of the room in deep conversation and then there was Joe who was intent on watching me.

I wanted to be away from here, away from Joe, so was wondering where the hell Ranger had gone. Feeling antsy I stood up and walked over to the table that held a pot of coffee and cups. I had no appetite for the pastries set out so ignored those. After adding milk and sugar I turned around intending to return to the couch and came face to face with Joe.

"We need to talk Cupcake"

I ignored what he'd said and went to step past him, but he sidestepped blocking my way. I suppose it was inevitable that I'd end up having to talk to him so decided to make sure that Joe totally understood exactly what I thought of him.

"I have nothing more to say to you Joe. I told you weeks ago that we were finished but you just wouldn't back off. I hate you for what you did to me"

"Me, what the hell did I do? You're the one who fucked everything up"

I couldn't believe what he was saying and to be honest if he wanted to blame me for the demise of our relationship then he could go to hell.

"Me? I told you I'd had enough, that I didn't want a relationship with you. If that's me fucking things up then fine, you believe what you want"

I thought that was the end of the conversation but Joe backing me into the corner told me otherwise and it seemed that I was going to have to listen to him some more.

"I know that we're meant to be together. Looking after you like I did, it made me appreciate you. Why the hell did you run away. You ruined everything by disappearing and then turning up with Manoso. Do you know how that made me look? They thought that I was betraying them"

Well shit, so he was blaming me for him getting shot. Even in death he had caused me so much trouble.

"Maybe you being truthful might have helped instead of molesting me and letting everyone think that we were back together. You are responsible for the mess you got yourself into, not me and if I want to be with Ranger or work at Rangeman that's my decision"

I couldn't believe that Joe was trying to make me out to be the one at fault.

"Christ, Cupcake. You handed him everything on a silver plate. The man who's probably the assassin"

What the hell, did Joe really believe that? Ranger may have killed people, but he wasn't a cold blooded killer that an assassin was.

"I knew that you hated Ranger, but saying that is ridiculous and you know it"

"Is it? What about Abruzzi? Do you really think that he committed suicide? Ask him about Solanas or Dunst, see what excuses he gives you for their deaths"

"Go to hell Joe. As far as I'm concerned and anyone else, you're dead"

I'd had enough of the slander from Joe. Saying what he had only emphasized how much I hated him, in fact I despised him and wanted him away from me. I pushed against his chest putting distance between us aware that Ansgar took advantage and stepped between us.

"Cupcake, you lost me that information. I hope you're happy about that. I'd still take you back, keep you safe, so why not do the right thing"

Ansgar growling had Joe taking another step back away from me, which gave me the opportunity to move past him. I was by the door, so quickly opened it, intending to get as far away from Joe as possible.

"Guard"

I ordered Ansgar as I closed the door behind me, knowing that he'd stop Joe from following me. I'd expected to be on the hallway where we'd first come in and hoped to find Ranger there, but looking around, I was surprised to find myself in a large reception area. Shit, there must have been another entrance into that room that I was unaware of. I wasn't going to go back into that room so made my way over to the glass doors that looked to lead out into a large corridor. Elevators were to my right, so I went over to them and pushed the button, wanting to go down to the garage. I knew that Hector would still be there watching the car.

Being alone inside the elevator gave me time to think, probably not a good thing. Seeing Joe there had been a shock for me and hearing Uncle Joe's explanation for what had happened to him was unsettling. I suppose that I'd toyed with the idea that Joe might have wanted information from me because of the work that he was doing. Knowing that now didn't make me feel any better because Joe had totally taken advantage of the situation to suit himself. He didn't have to molest me or have my mother and everyone in the Burg believe that we were back together. He didn't have to alienate me from my friends. Hell, at the time I didn't even know anything so what would have happened to me had I not run away.

The elevator opened into an enormous area that I didn't recognize and had an exit out onto the street. I had no clue how to get back to the garage and took out my phone with the intention of calling Hector for help. Well, that was the idea but as I stepped outside some of the words that Joe had said came back to me. I ended up walking down the street wandering aimlessly and looking in the windows of the shops.

I wanted some time to myself, to think through everything that had happened to me and what had been said, and for that I meant away from everyone. I was back to feeling as though I had no control over my life. Everyone seemed focused on getting that information from Sullivan and I was like a deer caught between in the sights of a pack of tigers. Seeing a charity shop gave me an idea so I quickly walked inside and started to go through the racks of clothing. Ten minutes later I walked out wearing jeans, boots, a hoodie and a thick jacket. I'd turned off my phone and left it in my bag that was now sat on a shelf in the shop and hung up that beautiful dress and coat on the rails. The only thing that I left with that was with me when I went inside was some cash that I found inside my wallet. I knew that I'd have trackers on me, and time alone meant losing them.

I walked and thought not taking any notice of where I was going. The start of flakes of snow falling had me remembering that day that I'd run away from Joe's. Yeah, I really wish that I could conjure up a safe place like Narnia right now. To be honest I welcomed the snow and the way it fell around me bringing an ethereal silence with it. Nothing to disturb my flow of thoughts as I walked.

Seeing Joe Morelli this morning had been like a punch to the stomach. All those fears had totally swamped me to the point that I knew that I'd fainted. So why had the meeting been set up? If Joe's story was to be believed, then why break the protocol of being in the WITSEC program. Was it Joe who had demanded the meeting so that my uncle could give me his story. It didn't explain Joe's behavior or in any way excuse it. Whatever story was given to me I could never forgive him for how he had treated me. He'd used me and hurt me to meet his own selfish needs. The thing was that I couldn't quite believe what was said. Okay, maybe Joe had been asked to go undercover but either he'd got in too deep or he'd changed allegiance and lost sight of what he was supposed to be doing.

Why say that? Well, him meeting up with that woman. From what I'd seen it was far more than an exchange of information and knowing Joe he was probably flirting with her and maybe he'd already slept with her. Then there was the memory of his name being mentioned by that man in the basement. Tank had said that they were mercenaries so how did they know Joe? Then there was Sorenson and Michaels. Was Michaels the one who was targeting victims? Sorenson, now he just didn't quite fit in. First I was told that he had a warrant for my arrest and then he was dragging me from the bonds office and taking me to Sinclair.

Sinclair, there was a man who was more mysterious than Ranger and probably a hell of a lot more dangerous. As Ranger had said, him turning up just seemed too much of a coincidence, so was he intent on finishing the job that he'd taken on by trying to get to me? I didn't like or trust the man but then sighed as I thought of Kinley. Had I been so wrong about her as well?

Then there was Ranger. I trusted him with my life and would do anything for him. I hated that Joe had tried to plant a seed of doubt in my mind. Okay, so maybe I'd had doubts about Abruzzi's death, but I'd never allowed myself to think that someone had murdered him. Could Ranger have done it, maybe, but he'd have done it for me. Those other two names? I had no idea who they were. No, I would never doubt Ranger and of the people surrounding me now, he was the only one who I trusted implicitly. So why was I walking in the snow when I knew that he would be worried as to where I was? Space, time to think. Possibly, but I felt hemmed in with what was going on around me and I needed the freedom to follow my instincts. To get my head together with everything that had happened, yeah to find that elusive control that was slowly slipping away, again. I just hoped that he'd understand and forgive me.

It's amazing where you end up when you just keep walking. There hadn't been any traffic or people to distract me and as I looked around, I was surprised that there was only the white of the snow to see. I was beginning to feel cold and bit wet seeing as the clothes that I'd changed into were on the thin side so knew that I needed to find some shelter. Seeing a large house in the distance I decided to see if there was someone there who could help me.

Imagine my surprise when I found myself stood in front of a bright red door that I was sure I'd seen before. That it was open surprised me, so I stepped inside into that small empty reception area. No busty woman to greet me and seeing the door at the side open I walked through it. In my head I was seeing the couples dancing, hearing the sound of the music but in reality the place was dark and empty. Chairs and tables were scattered around the floor, so I dodged around them toward the bar. Empty bottles and dirty glasses littered the bar but what surprised me was that there was no evidence of any damage being done and there didn't seem to be anyone here.

I wondered what had happened to Latisha and the people who had worked here but to be honest that no one was here was enough for me. I walked behind the bar spotting some unopened bottles right at the back of one of the shelves. Yeah, I needed something to take off the edge, to make me forget that this day had ever happened, to clear my mind of any thoughts at all.

My head, it had little men with jack hammers inside of it. Even thinking hurt so I definitely wasn't going to open my eyes or even move. Yuk, my mouth felt like sandpaper, but it was the growing feeling in my stomach that worried me now. Instinctively I rolled over which was a hell of mistake because not only was my stomach rolling so was my head. The retching just happened which made me feel worse and just so that you know how ill I felt I didn't care where I was throwing up on.

Coolness on my neck felt wonderful as I rested my forehead onto the edge of wherever I was. That had me thinking because I had no idea where I was.

"Here you need to drink this"

I felt a bottle being pushed into my hand and ended up just looking at it. Did I recognize the voice, did this person know me or? No, it wasn't Ranger. I blinked a lot in order to get my eyes open finding myself on the edge of something with a bucket of puke below me. The smell nearly had me throwing up again, but I gagged it back down and tried to move.

"Okay, let's get you laid down again"

Hands that were gentle held me by my shoulders and pushed me over. That sliver of fear of who it was came over me, but I was too weak to resist. Looking now at who was with me confused me because I was seeing a young kid and I had no idea who he was.

"I found you passed out behind the bar so brought you in here. Why the hell did you drnk that bottle of tequila? You could have done yourself some real damage"

And that lecture was coming from a teenage boy. I had no answer that I was prepared to talk about, well not until my head had cleared a bit. The last thing that I remembered was being in that house where we'd taken Latisha from.

"Why are you here?"

I asked surprised that someone his age would be here on his own.

"I, err, my pa, I couldn't take the beatings anymore, so I ran away"

My heart went out to him when I realized that he'd been abused by his own father. I wondered if maybe the father was a drunk and that was why he seemed so stern with me when he knew that I'd been drinking. I didn't say anything because I needed my head to clear in case I said something stupid.

Sleep has always been the best way for me to shake off a hangover, okay so fries and soda was the most effective, but I knew that I wouldn't have access to those. When I finally woke up my head felt easier, and my stomach was more settled. I was curious as to where exactly I was now, so looked around the room. It had to be day time judging from the light coming in through the window but I had no idea how long I'd been here for. I was on a bed in the middle of the room with a white sheet covering me. A quick look under the sheet had me releasing my breath at seeing the jeans and T-shirt from the charity shop. That was all that was in the room, a room that was predominantly pink from the walls to the floor covering. I hated to think what had taken place in this bed so was determined to move out of it.

I knew where I was when I stepped through the door and into the hallway. Turning around I saw the glass pane that I'd looked through all of those weeks ago. I followed the corridor back to where I thought the main room was but found it empty when I got there. That had me wondering if the boy was still around or had left. From there I went through another door and found myself in an enormous kitchen.

"Good to see you in the land of the living. You want a coffee?"

I spied the kid working at a counter at the end of the kitchen so walked over to where he was.

"What's your name?"

He seemed to hesitate before he answered me.

"Ben, just Ben. What about you?"

"Steph"

I saw no reason to lie to him besides I wanted him to trust me, to know that I wouldn't divulge his whereabouts to anyone. I watched as he poured hot water from a kettle into the mugs and gratefully took the mug when he passed it to me.

"No milk, sorry. Sugars on the table. There's only canned food left but it's okay for what I need"

I added some sugar to my coffee before looking around. Every cupboard door was open showing Ben's canned food and pots and pans. Again, the place was relatively tidy.

"Where did everyone go?"

Because it looked as though whoever had been here just up and left.

"I was over on the other side of the field hiding out under a tree when I saw them leaving. There were police cars parked up so maybe they'd been told that they had to leave. After a day with the weather being so cold, I decided to come look around"

I suppose it made sense and I was pretty sure no one would be coming to check on the place. As far as I remembered the property had been empty for years. The problem that I was having was what I was going to do now. I'd driven myself crazy thinking about Joe, Ranger and everything that had happened to me since the robbery at the bank. I think, if I remember correctly before the alcohol turned my brain to mush that I had one option. That was to try and find out the truth myself.

"Do we have electric here?"

"Generator out back, but I haven't used it. There are enough candles in here to light the place for a year"

I looked at the old range style cooker and raised my eyebrows because that sure as hell didn't work on candles.

"Oil, tanks half full"

So how was I going to find anything out without a laptop?

"What you thinking? You know you haven't told me why you're here. You aint gonna turn me in are you?"

"No, of course not. I want to help you. I know you don't want to go back to your father, but you deserve a chance to make something of your life"

No sooner had I said that then an idea came to me.

Fortunately Ben had a phone so after assuring him that my plan would be safe for him I was pleased that he seemed keen with my idea. He seemed like a good kid so I knew my idea would give him the opportunities that he needed to take control of his life away from his abusive father. After Ben left the house I did some exploring, avoiding the rooms downstairs that I knew had been used by Latisha's clients. Upstairs I found what must have been her rooms with all her belongings still folded neatly away in the closet. As I rummaged through drawers and the closet, I was relieved to find that Latisha owned what I would call normal clothes, well ones that weren't see through or revealing. I returned to the kitchen armed with what I would need before placing a large pan of water onto the cooker.

I may have been using a sponge and shower gel and washed one part of my body at a time, but it felt amazing once I was clean and dressed in clean trousers and a sweater. I'd even managed to use a jug and wash my hair over the sink. My old clothes went into a trash bag that I left outside before sitting at a window upstairs and watching the track that led here. The snow that had been falling when I arrived here was all gone now making me wonder how long I'd actually been here. The sky was cloudy giving the feel that it was later than it actually was. It was the sound of music that had me aware of an impending visitor and there was only one person that I knew who played rock music at that volume.

"White Girl, what the hell you doing here? The streets buzzing with how you disappeared. That man Ranger, he's like a bear stalking around looking for you"

I pulled Lula in through the entrance way and the large room until we were in the kitchen.

"Lula. it's complicated"

"Don't you give that as an excuse. Uncomplicate it and tell me what the hell's going on"

I'd thought very carefully about what I'd say to Lula knowing that I didn't want her to get too involved. Hell, if she decided to help me too much, I hated to think what might happen.

"Is Ben okay?"

That threw her, probably because she didn't expect me to be asking after him.

"Of course. He's at the house where I work. He seems a nice kid and Tony has agreed to mentor him"

Good, at least something good had come from this but once this was over, I'd make sure to visit him.

"Okay, a lot's happened Lula and it involves some really bad people"

I saw as she rolled her eyes at me before she sat in one of the chairs at the table.

"Like that aint new for you"

She was right but this time what she didn't know was that I wouldn't be asking for any help from anyone else.

"Jimmy Choo shoes Lula. Where would a woman buy them from?"

"Shoes! You got me all the way out here to ask me about shoes?"

Shit that didn't come out as I wanted it to.

"I need to find a woman who wears those shoes exclusively"

"Short Hills Mall, Riverside and the one in New York City"

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at Lula because I could swear that any designer shoes that she wore were knock offs.

"Hey, I look to see what the latest designs are, so I know which ones to buy from Dougie"

Okay, so if I knew where that woman bought her shoes how did I find out exactly who she was.

"Girl, are we talking a lot of shoes?"

I nodded my head because I was pretty sure that woman bought them, a lot.

"New York it is then. They have the latest designs and carry the sizes"

"Fancy a day in New York, Lula?"

To sweeten my suggestion, I took Lula upstairs to the room where I believed Latisha had used and let her loose.

"Anything I want?"

Was all that Lula had asked before she began her rampage of the clothes. Me, I was looking at her makeup and the selection of wigs that she had, thinking they would be ideal as a way to conceal my appearance. We spent the rest of the afternoon trying on clothes and talking through our past antics, but it was as it was starting to get dark when I suggested that Lula should leave.

"You worry me. You aint told me nothing bout what you're up to and that aint good"

"The less you know the less involved you are"

Had been my mantra to dissuade her from asking me too many questions.

"Lula, you have to swear that you won't tell a soul, please"

"What about Ranger? He's as worried as hell about you"

Even at the mention of his name I felt guilty. Would he be so annoyed that the man that I'd seen down in Miami would take over? I had to push those thoughts to the back of my mind otherwise I'd end up getting in touch with him and I wasn't sure what his reception to seeing me would be. No, I had to do this on my own. Wasn't that what I was best at doing.

"Okay. I don't like it but you're my best friend and I aint gonna betray you"

As Lula left, I felt that I could trust her not to say anything to anyone. Fortunately, she didn't have to work tomorrow so we'd planned for her to collect me before we headed up to New York. I found some canned hot dogs and baked beans to have for my dinner and then went upstairs to Latisha's room to finish choosing an outfit for the morning and packing some additional clothes and wigs, just in case. I felt comfortable sleeping in her room but wasn't prepared for the dreams that came. They mirrored the events from the previous few days with Joe taking on a key role. Sinclair and Kinley also featured, but in each scene, it was me who was being lectured.

"You're the one who fucked everything up"

"That's classified information Miss Plum"

"Tell me what I want to know"

"You ruined everything by disappearing and then turning up with Manoso"

"Christ, Cupcake. You handed him everything on a silver plate. The man who's probably the assassin"

"Christ, what is it with women. Why is it that the ones that I come across can be so"

"What about Abruzzi? Do you really think that he committed suicide? Ask him about Solanas or Dunst, see what excuses he gives you for their deaths"

I felt drained when I woke up with my emotions all over the place. Nothing from my dreams made me feel positive about myself and had me wondering why. The way that people had used me was almost overwhelming and to be honest I had no idea who to trust anymore. Okay, so I knew that Ranger didn't fit into that, hadn't he told me that he loved me and needed me? That need to prove myself was so strong, to show myself that I could work this out. I was going to show everyone that I didn't need them and put an end to this clusterfuck that I'd got involved in. No more nice Stephanie who let people walk all over her. I was going to take control of my own life and do things how I wanted.