Chapter 48
I knew that I was waking up because I could hear a faint noise in the background and a smell that seemed familiar that I didn't like. My head felt like a ton weight, and I tried to move but my muscles hurt too much, and I was sure that a new sound was of me moaning with the pain.
Images. That was all I seemed to be able to see. Fleeting shadows that held no detail or substance. Hands reaching out to me that had me freezing with fear. People, whose faces seemed blurred and unrecognizable. Voices that were mumbled or so soft that I couldn't recognize who they belonged to or what they were saying. The emotions that waged through me brought both a feeling of fear and of panic that I just couldn't control. Periods of darkness became a friend that seemed to blank out any awareness of what was around me or where I was.
Flashes of scenes went through my mind, fleeting and unsubstantial not giving me anything to grasp hold of which had a sliver of panic run through me. I couldn't be could I, I couldn't be back at Joe's house, could I? I was on the verge of an all out panic attack with no way of controlling it or seeing a way out until I thought that I could hear someone calling my name.
"Babe, it's okay, you're going to be okay"
I focused on that voice unsure of how it was there but began to calm down knowing that Ranger was with me. Then it came back to me, the fight that I'd had with Kinley and how vicious it was.
"They had to put a pin in your arm, and you have some internal bruising so it's just the anesthetic that's making you feel worse"
I felt his touch on my cheek, and that comforting movement of him tucking a hair behind my ear, before I allowed myself to fall back to sleep knowing that I was safe now that Ranger was with me. No more dreams interrupted my mind, and it was with a clearer head that I came back to consciousness. After focusing and turning my head, my eyes were drawn to the figure in the chair. He looked relaxed, if not a bit rumpled as he slept. Growth on his face and lose hair falling over his forehead gave him that sexy dangerous look, but I knew better. He was gentle and kind, loving and passionate and he was all mine. My protector, my partner, my lover and my soulmate.
As I soaked up his presence his eyes began to open, almost as if he was aware that I was watching him. The smile that he gave me as he stood up and came over to me made me forget why I was even laid in bed with him watching over me.
"You look better, how are you feeling?"
"Better, when do I get out of here?"
I asked as he sat down on the side of the bed and took hold of my hand. I expected a kiss when he leant over me so was surprised when instead I heard a soft whisper.
"When the doctors say so"
Yeah right, I thought. No way was I staying here longer than necessary. Feeling the bed raise up gave me a better view of the room that I was in, though the only surprise were the amount of flowers that adorned the window sill and table. I suppose at least I had no machines hooked up to me but looking at my hands that were swollen it had me wondering just how bad I looked. Another cast on the same arm as before had me remembering what Ranger had told me.
"I look a mess, don't I?"
"Not to me. You'll always look beautiful to me"
Which was followed by a gentle kiss to my lips before he passed a glass of water over to me, with the usual straw of course. It wasn't long before I was drifting to sleep again which to be honest was annoying. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask because I had no idea what had happened between Ranger and Sinclair. Then there was Kinley, what would happen to her and Sorenson and Morelli and those bounty hunters?
The next time that I woke up I was surprised to see Hector sat in the chair and was slightly disappointed. That soon disappeared when movement from the side of the bed resulted in a cold wet nose pushing against my hand.
"Ansgar, you're okay, I was so worried about you"
Allowing him to put his paws onto the bed gave me a better access to stroke his head and rub him behind his ears. As he dropped back down to the floor Hector pulled his chair closer to the bed. If Hector was here, then that meant that Ranger was busy off doing something important.
"Where did Ranger need to be?"
"With Sinclair talking to the Attorney General. Dresden was eventually tracked down so he's being confronted with the evidence and is expected to be charged"
Wow, so Sinclair had been telling the truth about being asked to investigate. So was it over now, were the others who were party to working with Dresden being arrested as well?
"Sorenson and Morelli?"
Because Joe was the one person who I wanted to get his comeuppance. He'd lied when he'd said that he was just passing on information to Katrina because that wasn't how the system had worked. I bet that it was Katrina that had made contact with Joe in order to work out exactly where his loyalty lay. Did she shoot him? That didn't fit in with how she normally worked. The murders that the FBI had assigned to her were all subtle. Poison, drug overdose, a fall down some stairs or electrocution. Her murders never had her getting her hands covered in blood. Surely Joe would know who had shot him, wouldn't he, though I had never found out the exact circumstances.
"The chief has started an internal investigation and those two bounty hunters are being looked at for the death of Harley Chroma"
That Hector had missed out saying anything about Joe didn't go unnoticed by me and as he hadn't volunteered the information, I wasn't going to ask him again. After Hector left, I didn't really get much time to myself. News of me feeling better had spread so I had an influx of visitors, mostly my Merry Men and of course Lula and Connie. I wasn't sure how to feel that my parents never came to visit but Val did send me a card apologizing that she couldn't come because Lisa had come down with chicken pox.
I wasn't sure who to expect the next morning so was so pleased when Bobby appeared with my doctor and a breakfast prepared by Ella. After lunch the consensus that was agreed to for me to be able to leave with Bobby being in charge of my convalescence. I wasn't sure where I would go, Rangeman or my apartment, especially as now the danger to me was over with. I'd hoped that Ranger would have been back, but no such luck.
"Rest for the rest of the week. No strenuous activities and no working"
Were my orders as Bobby wheeled me from my room.
"Where to Steph?"
A question from Bobby that threw me slightly. I'd expected him to have orders from Ranger as to where I should go.
"My apartment"
Was an automatic response so I'd wait and see what Ranger did, leave the move up to him. Afterall, he had never actually asked me to move in with him. Okay, he'd said that I part owned that house, but I would only ever go there with him.
In true Rangeman fashion Bobby cleared my apartment before he'd allow me over the threshold. I stepped inside surprised to see how tidy the place seemed, certainly free of any dust that would have collected. I sighed as I realized it hadn't changed. It was still that shabby apartment that I remembered but I suppose that it was my shabby apartment.
Stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom had me sighing out loud. I looked a total mess with bruises on my face and the start of a black eye. My chest and thighs were black and blue and don't even go there with the state of my knuckles. I decided to soak in the bath where at least I could hang my casted arm over the side, enjoying the feel of the hot water as it eased the aches from my muscles and inhaling the fragrance from the vanilla bath salts. Getting out was a bit of a struggle and the choice of clothes was limiting. Most of my clothes were at Ranger's apartment so why the hell had I asked Bobby to bring me here. If I'd had a car, I think that I would have driven over to Rangeman.
Dressed in some old pajamas and an old robe I was surprised that Ansgar was sat at my bedroom door as though guarding it. That had me feeling a little tense. He knew Ranger and the men from Rangeman, so wouldn't be behaving like that. Slowly I opened the door to look through to the living area, totally surprised to see my mother sat on the couch. She looked pale, even gaunt, and was just sat there staring into space. Why would she be visiting me here when she hadn't bothered to come see me at the hospital?
"Mum"
Came from me softly as I walked around the couch and sat down opposite her. It took a few seconds for her to realize that I was there before she turned and looked at me.
"I, I've been such a bad mother to you. I only ever wanted what was best for you"
"I know mum"
As she shook her head, I was becoming increasingly worried why she was here and what she was going to say.
"No. I thought that Joseph was the right man for you and was so annoyed when you didn't see him as I did. I couldn't understand why, well that was until I went to see him"
Why the hell would she go and see him? Surely, she hadn't still been determined that I should settle down with him.
"He was home, but not alone. He had some bimbo upstairs in his bedroom and the noise, it was so disgusting. I didn't know what to do, I was so disappointed and so annoyed. Annoyed that I'd never believed you. I decided to wait for him, and it was just there, laying on the counter in plain view"
Oh God what had she done, what was she going to say?
"It was dark when he came downstairs, so maybe didn't see me. He was drunk or high on drugs as he staggered around. It was so easy to do it. I never gave it a second thought, to shoot him, to watch him fall and it felt right at the time. That woman was soon downstairs which panicked me but she, well she removed the gun from my hand and wiped it before she threw it into the back yard. As she walked out of the door she smiled and said, he was an arsehole and deserved what he got"
I didn't know what to say, what the hell do you say to your mother after she admits to shooting your ex boyfriend? She looked so fragile as she sat there, nothing like the woman who had berated and shouted at me.
"It's all my fault, Bella going after you and you getting hurt"
I felt the need to console her and tell her everything would be okay, that she wasn't to blame for anything. In order to do that I knew that she had to know the truth.
"He's not dead mum"
Was the first thing that came into my mind.
"Of course, he is. I watched while they buried him. Angie, she was so upset that she decided she had to leave and then Bella. That she blamed you, what am I going to do, how do I put this right?"
I reached over and took her hand in mine, waiting until she was looking at me with tears running down her cheeks.
"Mum, I spoke to him a few days ago. He's alive and well"
"But, he can't be"
Squeezing her hand, I knew this was going to be difficult for her to comprehend especially if she'd been living in denial all of this time. No wonder she'd seemed strange when I'd spoken to her because she was probably still trying to cope with what she thought that she'd done.
"He's alive, believe me. He was working undercover but things got awkward for him, so it was decided that he needed to disappear. He's part of the witness protection scheme. I don't think that he even remembers that you were at his house"
I waited and watched hoping that what I was telling her was getting through to her and knew when she began to frown that some understanding was beginning to emerge.
"So I didn't kill him?"
"No mum"
Her tears stopped and I could almost see her spine straighten. I just hoped that I was right, and that Joe had no idea who had fired that gun, or at least thought that it was someone else. No one had even suggested that my mother had been involved, so with a bit of luck, well a lot, she may well have dodged the bullet on what she'd done. The problem would be if she'd be able to live with her actions on her conscience.
"Have you told anyone else?"
I asked hoping that she hadn't.
"No. I was too ashamed and a lot scared to mention it to anyone. I never even told your father, though he knows that I'm upset about something"
"You've told me, so maybe that's enough. Maybe one day in the future when you're ready, you can tell him. For now, focus on the fact that you didn't shoot anyone, that Joe is very much alive. Just don't repeat that though to anyone else, okay?"
"Okay"
Was her response as she sat up and looked at me. Taking my hand, I could sense that she seemed more settled and that the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders.
"You're a good daughter, Stephanie, I never said that to you and I should have done. I'm so sorry for how I tried to mold you into something that you're not. As long as you're happy then I'll be happy as well"
Having said that, I watched as she stood up from the chair, straightened her jacket around herself and put on a brave face. It would take a bit of time for her to fully come to terms with what I'd told her, but she was a strong woman, and I was sure that she'd manage to overcome the emotional turmoil that she'd gone through. A few minutes later she was walking out of my apartment with her head held high. Was I worried about her? No, not really. If Joe had realized that it had been my mother who had taken a shot at him then he would have taken a great deal of pleasure in telling me. In fact, it wouldn't have surprised me if he would have used it to blackmail me, for information or for me to stay with him.
I felt drained after that encounter with my mother but also worried for her. Okay, she'd had me around for a few years getting involved in violent situations, but she'd always shunned them as me being stupid. Her experience and guilt would be a heavy weight for her to carry.
Throughout my mother's visit I'd stayed in the chair with my feet pulled up but needed to make myself something to drink. Fortunately, I had some instant hot chocolate, hot water was something that I had even if the rest of my shelves and fridge were empty. I pulled the blanket from the back of the couch as I sat down again and tried to make myself comfortable.
It was as I closed my eyes and leant my head back that the sound of my door opening caught my attention. Damn, I hadn't locked it after my mother had left but then wondered if maybe Ranger was back. That Ansgar was back into guard mode told me that he wasn't, in fact it told me that it was someone that he didn't know. I didn't have the energy to get up. If someone was here to do me harm, I couldn't stop them anyway. It didn't stop me from being curious and to be honest a lot worried. Seeing a figure walk through the door and closing it behind him almost had me sighing in disgust.