"Well, can't believe it. But we're here, our new apartment." Judy said as she, Nick and her twin brother Davies entered their new home.
"About time, I don't think I could take another day using a dining room chair in place of a proper office chair," Davies said as the three brought in boxes, he set down a box and loudly cracked his back.
"Just be careful Happy Feet, we don't want you hurting yourself on those soft chairs," Nick said sarcastically as he unpacked a box.
"You know… I know you're being sarcastic. But still, the only real way I could hurt myself on an office chair. Would be if I took up the chair and started hitting myself with it on my head. I mean that's just… that's just dumb." Davies said as Judy laid out a pair of sleeping bags into one of the apartment's bedrooms.
"Okay, so until we can work out proper furniture. We'll mainly be living on the floor." Judy said.
"And we won't be eating off of the- THERE'S A BAR HERE!" Davies said as he wandered into the kitchen.
"Really?!" Nick said as he went into the kitchen. "Dang it, I thought you meant… something unrelated to a granite countertop." Nick said in disappointment.
"And you thought there was hooch included. How many apartments would even have that?" Davies said. There was then a knock at the door, Judy opened it and saw Benjamin Clawhauser, and his roommate Kaitlin Ulricsdottir.
"Welcome new neighbors! Here's a little housewarming gift." Benjamin said as he presented Judy with a gift basket and some pastries.
"Wow… I'm actually surprised that these don't have bite marks." Judy said as she looked over the donuts.
"You can thank me for that officer, made them myself… while Mr. Clawhauser had problems with the bathroom door." Kaitlin said.
"She used a chair to keep it closed," Benjamin said in annoyance.
"And the last time I made my famous donuts, you ate the whole batch right out of the oven. Not joking here, his lips were almost fused to the tray, and he burned his paws. Trust me; it was for your own good." Kaitlin said.
Davies then rushed into the room in a flash. "I call dibs on every chocolate one here," Davies said as he eyed the chocolate doughnuts like a hungry predator.
"You can have one for now Davies. Speaking of which, that program is doing wonders for you Benjamin. I think you've lost a chin since we started." Judy said as Davies glared at her.
"I feel like I die every night," Benjamin muttered.
"The important thing is that you're getting healthy Ben," Kaitlin said as she and Benjamin left. Before long there was another knock at the door. Judy opened, and on the other side was a fox vixen with crimson red fur.
"Are you the new residents?" The vixen asked, speaking with a clear Irish accent.
"Yes! I'm Judy, your new neighbor! And that's my brother Davies- you're not sneaking Kaitlin's donuts are you?" Judy said.
"I have more self-control regarding sweats then you, and you know it, Judy!" Davies said indignantly.
"Anyway, that's my boyfriend Nick Wilde," Judy said as Nick arrived near the door. And upon seeing the vixen, froze in terror.
"Crimson… how long has it been? Six months? Seven?" Nick said, trying to put on a brave face.
"High School graduation actually, you remember me right Nick? You took me out to prom… and got that fennec fox with the weird voice to drive the limo. And I did the fireworks but no one knew it was me." Crimson said.
"Okay… so you used to date?" Judy asked.
"Yes, now can I speak to you in private Carrots? Crimson, please wait out here." Nick said as he closed the door on Crimson.
"Okay, why are you acting so weird?" Judy asked.
"Well, it's like this. How many bunnies have you dated in your life?" Nick asked.
"Does it matter if I did the actual dating? Cause if so, then no she's never dated a soul in her life." Davies commented.
"Oh… well, I've dated before you. About… seven other mammals including Crimson, sorry for never mentioning that sooner, but I didn't think it was really important to share." Nick admitted.
"And the reason why you're so skittish about your ex?" Judy asked.
"Well… we never OFFICIALLY broke up, at all. As in, neither of us ever stopped being boyfriend and girlfriend-"
"You know Slick Nick; it's rude to talk about people when they're in earshot," Crimson said, standing in the room looking annoyed.
"How… Nick, did you lock the door?" Judy asked.
"I thought I did!" Nick said.
"Oh you did, but still. It's exceptionally rude to speak of people when they're within earshot." Crimson said curtly.
"And before you even suggest it, Nick. No, we're not moving out just because one of our neighbors is an ex-girlfriend of yours!" Davies commented.
"Look, we're getting off on the wrong foot here. Crimson-"
"My name is actually Ester A. Foxgerald. Crimson, is just a nickname. What'd he give you? Carrots? Or something less obvious like big-foot, or… Bucky? I'm just spit-ballin' here." Ester said, interrupting Judy.
"Well Ester, I'm sure. Despite you're… apparently rocky history with Nick-"
"Oh it wasn't bad at all; fact is my days with him were the best of my life. Though there are some… questions I'd like to ask ole Slick Nick myself." Ester said.
"Well, we could go out and-"
"Right here, right now," Ester said, then without warning, she snapped her fingers and she and Nick disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.
"Oh… oh boy, I was not expecting that." Judy said as she started dialing her smartphone.
"So… are they still here or did they just leave?" Davies commented.
"Just stay in your room Davies, and let me handle this," Judy responded. "Nick… what mess have you gotten yourself in this time?" Judy said to herself.
XXXX
"So I bet you're wondering how this happened," Ester said as she and Nick appeared in a dark room covered in glyphs and magical artifacts.
"You took up magic at some point? So is this your apartment, cause this… never figured you for Witch decorum." Nick said nonchalantly.
"Uh… no, this isn't my apartment. This is a room I've been renting from my mentor for magical practice and study." Esther said.
"Ah, so did you attend Hogwarts or-"
"Nick, why aren't you more surprised by all this? The teleportation and the weird magic stuff!?" Esther said in irritation.
"Oh, I am surprised! I really am! I had no idea that you were a witch!" Nick said in mock surprise.
"I… okay. I'm just going to get to the point. First I'm not a witch, I'm a sorceress. And why are you living with a pair of rabbits? And why haven't you attempted to contact me since our senior year? I tried friending you on Muzzlebook, but you blocked me!" Ester said in irritation. Nick looked guilty.
"It's… well, it's not that I don't like you anymore. It's just… it's just that I try not to dwell on the past. You know, 'keep moving forward' and all that jazz." Nick said.
"Like how you didn't dwell on that botched attempt to join the Junior Ranger Scouts. Oh, wait! You did!" Ester said mockingly.
"That… I was eight when that happened! Nine at the latest! There's a big difference between being muzzled, and not seeing your High School crush for… how many years has it been again?" Nick said defensively.
"At least five, six years, in the meantime I've been studying arcane tombs and practicing magic. But now, to my surprise, I find out the one man I've ever truly loved is not only a police officer. But that you're apparently dating a BUNNY, of all mammals!" Ester said angrily.
"Look… I'm sorry, alright Ester? I mean I've dated other mammals since you but Judy-"
"I mean I respected you for marching to the beet of your own drum… but dating PREY?! That's… there's going off the deep end. And then there's going to the BOTTOM of the deep end. Taking a shovel, or a drill or some other digging equipment, and you just started digging an even deeper hole from where you started!" Crimson ranted.
Nick was silent for a moment. "…I dated a skunk once. Long before I met Judy. Does… does that count as dating prey, or just another predator? I never really cared for the more blurring species-barriers where they showed up."
Ester was stunned for a moment. "…Did she break up with you when she learned you were a con-artist?"
"No… she broke up with me when she learned I wasn't a licensed doctor. I mean I was working out of an alley at the time, and she wanted to get rid of her stink glad for the cheap. It took her a whole year before she realized that." Nick said.
"Oh… well, look. Why are you apparently dating this bunny? Why are you even a cop?" Ester asked.
Nick just sighed. "Well… she showed me, that I could be more than just a shifty, dishonest fox."
XXXX
Later on, Judy was in Finnick's van. "You know, it's been years since I've really looked through these photo albums," Finnick said as he removed a book off of a shelf. "Though I gotta ask, do you really want to know Nicky boy's romantic life?" Finnick asked.
"I know, I should just start trying to actually find him. But I have no idea where that Ester woman took him. I mean where… and you're going to think this is crazy. But she had magic and-"
"Ah, so she's become a sorceress since High School then?" Finnick said nonchalantly.
Judy was stunned for a moment. "…how would you even know something like that?" Judy asked.
"Kid, the less you know about what I know the better, now about Nick's girlfriends," Finnick said as he opened the photo album. "Now this is Ester Foxgerald. The first girl I ever saw him sweet on. Called her Crimson because of… well, I'm certain you can guess." Finnick said as he pointed to a picture of Ester that had a crimson paint sample on the photo.
"And the reason why he hasn't even spoken to her since graduation is that?..." Judy asked.
"How should I know? He doesn't tell me everything, and I ain't-a mind reader! She went to college, and Nick stayed with me to be a con artist. Speaking of which, that brings me to girl number 2." Finnick said as he pointed to a picture of a skunk doe.
"Wait… he dated a skunk?... was she-"
"The skunk that he got the fur for that wall rug that got him on Mr. Bigs bad side? To be fair we hadn't nailed down the 'resell giant popsicles as smaller ones' con yet. So we operated as back-alley doctors, Nick even took a class from one of Mr. Bigs surgeons. This brings us to Rachel Smellsworth. Poor kid wanted her scent glands removed, but couldn't afford a legal doctor… or no doctor wanted to be near a skunks butt when it goes off. Either one wouldn't surprise me." Finnick said.
"I was always under the impression that it's surprisingly easy to remove a skunks stink glands," Judy said.
"Well we didn't, in fact, it wasn't until AFTER the pre-op butt shaving for either of us to remember. That they were located right up-"
"Okay! I get where you're going with this!" Judy said.
"Regardless, she and Nick started dating; he sold off the shaved butt fur to Mr. Big as a wall rug for a pretty penny. But she eventually learned that Nick wasn't a licensed doctor… right as Mr. Big was chewing him out for the rug that he buried his grandmother in. Then after Rachel was Skye, an arctic fox whose… I don't know. Some kind of secret agent, basically he got dragged into a mission of hers once. And decided that he'd be better off single, then worry about her. Least that's what he told me." Finnick said.
"She's gorgeous!" Judy said in admiration of the snow white fox.
"Then after her… is one of the weirder ones." Finnick said as he showed a picture of a fox tod.
"Wait… since was Nick-"
"Never, the whole relationship was one-sided. Tony was supposed to contact and… well the less said about Tony the better. Then there were the Nainshadou twins-"
"He dated twins?!" Judy said in surprise to the picture of two vixens in black and white gi's.
"Not on purpose, he only knew they were twins AFTER a dinner date went… wrong. He also learned that night that they were apparently ninjas. And they basically tore up the restaurant. Nick wouldn't say how exactly that happened." Finnick said as he showed pictures of the walls of said restaurant covered in shurikens and other ninja throwing weapons. "Then… right before we met. Like, maybe a month or two. Nick was dating this vixen." Finnick said as he showed a picture of Delphine… the same Delphine that currently works for Draco Long-Fang, and has a history with Anna Blackpaw.
"What's wrong with her?" Judy asked.
"Well… it's rather complicated. Suffice it to say, she's a piece of work in her own right. Most I could get out of Nick about her is that she uncontrollably laughs during horror movies. That… and something about her refusing to eat anything, except some kind of weird cherry juice from a thermos, and a fear of garlic… not sure what Slick Nick saw in that creepy Frenchie in the first place." Finnick said.
Then Judy had an epiphany. "These things are terrific!" Judy said as she ate the epiphany candy bar.
"Don't eat all my bars! That includes the flash, insight, inspiration, Oracle, realization, vision, sign, surprise, bombshell, discovery, lightning bolt, and shocker bars! I need those to live!" Finnick said in annoyance.
"You mean to tell me you only eat these bars? What are you, some kind of weird... Vampire…? Oh no…"
XXXX
"-then you teleported me down here and-"
"When I asked you to tell me everything, I didn't mean EVERY detail… your story was honestly rather boring at times." Ester said as she and Nick were eating Chinese food. Then, without warning, a fruit bat in a clown costume burst into the room.
"ESTER FOXGERALD… the mistress would like-"
"Josephus! Buddy! How have things been with you?" Nick said, recognizing the fruit bat.
"Nicolas… so anyway, the mistress would like to know when you'll be done down here. She desires this room to be used for a meeting tonight." Josephus said.
"Tell Anna I'll be out of her ears before nightfall," Ester said.
"And you know Little Bunny-Vamp-Vamp as well! Quite a small world." Nick said.
"That is a terrible nickname, and you should feel ashamed of yourself Nicolas," Josephus said in an unimpressed tone.
"And you know her how...?" Ester asked.
"The first case I ever officially worked on with the ZPD involved her. And by that, I mean she did a Vampire mind-trick on Flash, Flash Hundred Yard Dash. We got a tip on the Stampede of Doom, which I still think is a terrible name for a race. Anna was the winner and injured Hopps during the race, then after Carrots recovered. We asked her about it, and she admitted that she was there and that she's a Vampire... still don't know why she outright admitted such a bombshell for no apparent reason. And also, she has Davies on her payroll as a writer. And you know her how?" Nick asked.
"During college, I was stumbled upon a Blackpaw Specialty book," Ester said as she produced the book in question.
"'Magic for Beginners'... aren't there boarding schools for that sort of thing?" Nick said sardonically.
"Apparently not, you want to learn magic. Apparently, you have to call BPP directly for one of these things. And when I wasn't studyin' law, I was brushing up on castin' spells and... Well, I accidentally summoned a demon. And Ms. Blackpaw herself had to sort it out, and... For whatever reason, she decided to give me private tutoring on using this stuff." Ester explained as she displayed a ball of purple magic.
"Because anyone that can summon a demon. Using only a beginner's manual for magic has potential. And is also a danger, so they might as well learn from the manual's author." Anna Blackpaw said as she descended into the chamber.
"Ah, Little Bunny-"
"Mr. Wilde I've been eavesdropping on your entire conversation, including that terrible nickname. So please, don't say anything further that you'll regret." Anna said sternly.
"...how much did you-"
"Enough to know that your ex-boyfriend has dated... one of my Spawn, now, please. Tell me EVERYTHING you can about Delphine." Anna said to Ester.
"... Well if you made her a Vampire, which in hindsight actually seems obvious. You'd know more about her-"
"This is no joke, Wilde. Delphine had a paw in the assassination attempt on Bogo. And I need to know where she could be, for she and I not only have old business to settle for when I first...created her. But she serves Draco Long-Fang. So please Nicolas... help me protect this city." Anna said, pleading with Nick.
To be continued...