Me: I'm not writing 5,000 word chapters anymore it's too much work.
Also me: *casually writes a 5,709 word chapter*
"If you're gonna invite me out to dinner you're gonna have to fuck me first."
ITACHI GRABBED A FISTFUL OF HIS SOOT GRAY LOCKS and squeezed them between his fingers, hoping that the light tug at his hairline would help him concentrate on his class instead of fixating on the words Deidara whispered into his ear over dinner the night before.
But the problem lie in the fact that Itachi didn't need to be attentive to understand the parameters of the assignment in front of him. The rubric he'd been given was clear and concise. All he needed to do was pair up with two or three other students, divide up the work and focus on his portion which left his brain free to grapple with issues in his social life and what he was going to say to Kisame at lunch later on.
Itachi deserved Deidara's words, vulgar as they may have been. Deidara established his boundaries when he explained how Itachi's actions affected him. He told him to stop being nice to him and what did Itachi do in return? Invite him to dinner. Granted the dining hall was probably the least romantic place one could share a romantic dinner with but the fact still remained: Itachi overstepped.
And to make matters worse, Kisame had warned him of that exact thing and could picture the look of confusion when he told him "I thought I told you to keep your distance from him…"
Pride, Itachi supposed, was one of the easier deadly sins to deal with as opposed to something more volatile and destructive like wrath. At least he could self-destruct on his own and shield everyone else around him from the fallout instead of dragging everyone else down with him. And that's what he resolved to do.
Except for one thing. Kisame could be extremely perceptive when he wanted to be and Itachi hiding things from him wasn't Itachi's strong suit.
"Is everything okay?" Kisame asked almost as soon as he joined him at the lunch table.
He hadn't even said anything to the man yet and already he was looking at him with concerned eyes and waving a hand in his face. Was it his posture? Did they have a routine greeting he was unaware of?
Unsure of what to do he nodded his head and sucked on his bottom lip hoping to appear absorbed in matters lightyears away from now.
Still scrutinizing him, Kisame smiled and asked. "Did you eat more than a scone this morning?"
Despite the murky thoughts clouding his brain he couldn't help but crack a smile. Ever since their aquarium trip Kisame had taken it upon himself to monitor Itachi's morning diet. Three days in and he hadn't missed a day nor had Itachi eaten anything less than a single scone. Instead, he ventured to the dining hall and pushed himself to eat at least one thing from each of the main food groups. "Yes I had waffles with a side of bacon and sunny side up eggs this morning." He finally answered.
This appeased Kisame momentarily but did not deter him from investigating further. "Are you…stressed about finals?" He asked and inhaled so quickly Itachi had to turn around to see if there was anyone behind him. "But if you're stressed about finals then I'm surely doomed!" Kisame cried in mock panic.
Itachi sighed and turned around to face Kisame. "You'll do just fine." He said. "Try to complete all of your assignments to the best of your ability. It'll help level out your overall grade even if you do poorly on your exams."
Kisame forced a stiff smile which caused the dimples on his cheeks to become more pronounced and elongated. "Gee, thanks. I feel so much better now." He said and presented Itachi with a handful of fries inches away from his face. "Eat these it'll make you feel better."
As much as he wanted to decline the smell of salt tempted his nostrils and made his mouth water. "Thanks." He said and gingerly accepted the small bundle and dumping them into his free hand.
"So I've been thinking." Kisame said.
"Yeah?"
"You said you like studying at café's right?" When Itachi nodded through a mouthful of fries he continued. "Well I was thinking maybe we could study at a café together tonight instead of cooking like we usually do. You know, because finals are coming up and you have your own stuff to worry about."
Well that was an unexpected surprise. He licked his lips and sent a longing stare in the direction of the rest of the fries. Kisame obliged and nudged the fry basket between them. "I'm fine with that." He said. "Although if I'm working on my own assignments it would take away from helping you with statistics."
Kisame tried to put on a look of determination but despite his best efforts his smile faltered. While Itachi could tell he was doing his best to show up to class on time, pay attention and take decent notes the material only increased in difficulty. Sometimes he forgot formulas learned in the beginning of the year. Sometimes he used the wrong formula altogether. More often than not such mistakes caused him to get sloppy and input the wrong numbers which skewed his graph altogether.
"I mean, I still have to write papers and stuff for my other classes too. I'm not worried about statistics because I know I can count on you to help me out. I think Jesus Himself is gonna have to take the wheel for me to make it through everything else though!"
He made a decent argument. It made sense for him to want to study in the company of someone as studious as Itachi, given the haphazard way Kisame often accomplished his work. He was willing to give it a try at least. "Okay." He finally agreed. "Do you have any reservations about having breakfast for dinner? Because there's a place I've been meaning to try that's a five-minute walk from here." He asked.
Kisame's eyes sparkled like sparkling wine. "Are you kidding me? Who doesn't love breakfast for dinner? Count me in coach!"
"Perfect. Then it's settled. Stop by my dorm around 4:30 and we'll walk unless you want to drive there?"
"Are you kidding me? I'd be an embarrassment to my field if I turned down a five-minute walk." He agreed.
"One of the concepts that emerges from this story is the idea that the memories of our youth shape—"
"You know what I don't understand?"
Itachi dragged his gaze away from his English assignment and exhaled in exasperation. "What?"
The deal was: go to a local café to eat and study together.
His mistake was assuming that Kisame would follow his example and complete his work in silence instead of fidgeting, complaining and interrupting him every five minutes with an observation or random thought he had during the day. It brought him back to their initial studying sessions in the library last semester when they shared philosophy together. He suddenly remembered why he was so relieved to not be sharing the same class as Kisame. It was impossible to complete his own work when the athlete was around.
Kisame propped his chin up in the palm of his hand and looked somewhere in the distance, lost in a world of his own, oblivious to Itachi's seething glare. "Do professors think we don't have anything better to be doing with our time than reading five chapters out of the textbook and doing online quizzes?"
Itachi shrugged returned to his own work, hoping the lack of verbal response would give Kisame the hint that he didn't care for the frequent disruptions. And to think that he was actually kind of excited about the prospect of Kisame taking his studies so seriously earlier. He should have known better.
"Like, I have a paper for school wellness class, a group project for Net and Wall Games which I forgot about – shit!"
Net and Wall games. Kisame explained the premise to Itachi once. It was a class that taught aspiring P.E. teachers how to effectively teach sports that involved nets like volleyball, tennis, badminton and the like. Though when Itachi first heard about it he imagined students climbing netting strung against a wall like a sort of obstacle course. He supposed one could devote a month to the techniques of each sport and how to assess the skills of that sport. Still, it made him a little jealous when he thought about his own group project for his Introduction to Linguistics class in which half the class consistently showed up to.
"Itachi?"
He hadn't realized he'd been daydreaming until Kisame called his name. Snapping back to attention he said "I'm sorry; can you repeat that?"
Kisame chuckled quietly and gave him a forgiving smile. "I said what about you?" He asked. "What all do you have to do before finals?"
An excellent question. He lowered the lid of his laptop and crossed his arms over the table as he considered his workload for the next couple of weeks. "Let's see I have a group project for linguistics, an accounting project, a history paper and project, a couple of English papers, a programming project and a group project for economics."
"Damn!" Kisame exclaimed and brought his fist to his mouth. "How many classes do you even have again?"
Itachi thought that by entertaining his question he'd get the hint and leave him to his studies. Seemed he missed the point entirely. "Seven."
"Damn!" He said again and looked skyward. He appeared to be counting his own classes, silently mouthing the names of each as he went. "I've only got five but I can't imagine adding two more to the stack. Thank God I'm not a double major."
Despite that you still ramble on without a care in the world, Itachi thought bitterly. When it seemed that Kisame had returned to his own work Itachi took the opportunity to reopen his laptop and cover as much ground on his end as he could before Kisame started up again. He reread his last sentence, finished typing his thought and consulted his notes to make sure he was on the right track. When he found his groove Kisame spoke again.
"By the way, did you ever have dinner with Deidara? I meant to ask you that earlier but I forgot."
"Hm-hm." Itachi hummed, not giving him the satisfaction of a proper response. Perhaps he'd take the hint and drop it.
"How did that go?"
He still wasn't getting it. "Swimmingly." He answered sarcastically.
"Swimmingly, huh? Uh-oh. What'd he do this time?"
Studying be damned. Kisame was clearly checked out and had no intention of focusing on his own work which meant he was going to drag Itachi down with him. "Kisame why did you want to come here in the first place?"
"To the college or the café?"
What did he think he meant? "To the café."
"To study with you!" He answered proudly. What, did he want Itachi to award him with a gold star sticker for answering correctly?
"And what have you been doing for the past ten minutes?"
They'd worked together long enough for Itachi to be able to pinpoint the moment when Kisame realized he'd done something wrong. He'd look skyward, stick his tongue in his cheek and give the answer he knew Itachi wasn't looking for. "Studying?" He answered sheepishly.
"Wrong. You've been distracting me by going on tangents all evening. If you wanted to talk all night we could have hung out at your place like we usually do."
Kisame nodded solemnly. "Sorry. I'll be quiet. Promise."
And he kept that promise; if you could call mindlessly scrolling on his phone and slouching so far back in his chair that his feet touched Itachi's ankles every now and again productive silence. On one hand, he was quiet and Itachi was able to get a lot more done in fifteen minutes than he had in half an hour. On the other hand it was a lot like babysitting a kindergartener. 'Nothing's stopping you from walking back if you're that bored.' Itachi thought to himself and eventually voiced his opinion aloud. "You can go home if you're bored you know."
"Don't mind me, Itachi." He said lackadaisically. "I'm storing up my energy like a panda eating bamboo so I can hit the books harder than ever before! Just you watch!"
Was that a quote from a tv series or something? Whatever it was, Itachi was unimpressed. "What if I decide to leave before you unleash this hidden storage of energy you speak of." He said. It wasn't so much of a question as it was a hint. If Kisame was going to sit there playing on his phone all night then there was no reason for Itachi to hold him up from doing other things back in his own dormitory.
Kisame thought about this for a moment and answered "Then I'll unleash my hidden potential when I get back!" He beamed. "After I eat some potato chips first though. That always gets the gears turning."
"Then let's do it." Itachi said and rose from his chair. "Let's get going before it gets too dark."
"And do what? Study at my place or something?"
Itachi shook his head and gathered his notebooks and texts. "No. I'm going back to my place so I can concentrate in silence."
"But I thought you liked studying at cafés because you liked the background noise?" He asked.
"Normally, yes, but you've been bored for the past half and I don't want to keep you any longer so let's just go."
"Don't worry about me; just finish your paper! I'm fine waiting! Really!" Kisame protested.
Itachi took a deep breath, trying to calm his frazzled nerves. Why was he angry right now? Was it because Kisame couldn't sit still? He knew that! Itachi knew that so why was he so upset with him? Why was he so upset with the only person who understood him since Shisui's death? Did he want to punish himself by pushing everyone around him away? "Why do you care?" He hissed so he wouldn't distract the other patrons enjoying their meals or working nearby. And just like that he felt embarrassed that they were even arguing in the middle of a café. For God's sake what was wrong with him lately?
"Why do I care about what? You getting your work done?" Kisame breathed.
Itachi threw his hands up. "I don't wanna argue about this anymore. We're being disruptive so let's just pay and go home." He said.
Kisame exhaled behind him but followed nonetheless as Itachi described how he wanted to split the bill. Before he could pull his credit card from his wallet, however, Kisame was handing the clerk his credit card. "Just put it all on this one ma'am."
"I just told her to split the bill, Kisame."
"Just charge both receipts on this card." He said, completely ignoring him.
The cashier looked between him and Itachi before slowly taking Kisame's card and running it through the register. Itachi was done arguing for now, especially in a public atmosphere such as this one which he would not be returning to after a show like this.
"What is wrong with you?" Itachi asked once they stepped outside.
"Why are you so upset?" Kisame asked, dodging the question.
"Tell me why you thought it was necessary to pay for both receipts when I already told the woman to split the bill!"
"Because somehow I made you angry and wanted to do something to make it up to you!" He cried and grabbed Itachi's shoulders lightly enough that it didn't hurt but enough that he'd have to pull away to untangle him from his grasp. "Can you tell me why you're so upset? Is it because I wasn't studying?"
I don't know anymore. I don't know. Was the only thought in his head at the moment. It made his eyes burn and his chest constrict and Kisame was looking at him like he was ready to break and holding him close and he couldn't take it anymore. He broke free of Kisame's hold and started walking towards campus.
"Did something happen between you and Deidara that you're not telling me?"
"NO." Itachi called over his shoulder.
"Are you sure? Because you've been avoiding the topic all day!"
Itachi spun around to face him. "Nothing happened, okay? You were right when you said to give him some space."
"Why? What happened?" Kisame asked.
There was so much concern in his voice that if Itachi gave him the command he'd probably sprint back to campus and hunt down the blonde if he wished it. But he couldn't understand why he was so invested in him and his relationship with Deidara. It didn't add up. "I told you. Nothing happened. He told me to leave him alone and give him some space. That's all."
"Are you telling me the truth?" Came a soft whisper from behind him.
"I'm telling you the truth." Itachi confirmed and slowed his pace slightly. "Though answer me this: why does it matter to you so much? Why are you so invested in finding out if something happened between us or not?"
"I'm invested because I know how it important it was to you to make up with him." Kisame grunted. "And the last thing I want is for you to get hurt from someone like that."
"Someone like what?" Itachi asked. He turned to look at Kisame just then who's eyebrows were tightly knitted together in thought and his mouth a deep line that suggested he was gritting his teeth behind his sealed lips.
"Someone who's so preoccupied with themselves that they see that you're vulnerable and hurting because I get it – you two had it out a while back and he's licking his wounds. But you were hurting to begin with and he took advantage of you and for some reason you're the one trying to move mountains to make it up to him when it wasn't really your fault." He said.
Kisame's words hit him like a sheet of ice, stopping him dead in his tracks. All this time…all this time he'd been trying to do exactly as Kisame said – make things right with Deidara. But in the end he was trying to make up for something that was a result of his own grief and pain. How could someone like Kisame see it so clearly when Itachi himself had been blind this entire time?
Someone like Kisame. What did that even mean and why was he always surprised whenever Kisame said something unexpectedly in depth?
From beyond the strands of his bangs he could tell that Kisame was standing nearby, just within arm's reach. Close enough to touch and pull into an embrace if he needed it but he wouldn't allow himself the gratification. Kisame had his eyes on someone already. It wasn't Itachi's place to seek his comfort or cause him to worry about something as petty as freshman drama.
"Despite what you may think I'm human too." Itachi whispered.
"I already knew that about you, remember?" Kisame said. "I meant what I said when I told you I found you interesting. Back at the library in November when we were studying war theories."
Now that Kisame mentioned it he did remember that.
"I think I'm just stressed out and tired." He said. "It has nothing to do with you or Deidara or anyone really." He said and started to walk again. He could see the campus just up ahead past this next stop light and wanted nothing more to collapse in his bed and forget about the world for a while.
"You probably are." Kisame agreed in voice as gentle as a feather. "You don't have to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders you know."
Itachi nodded.
"And I meant what I said when I told you that you could talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"
He did know that. Painfully aware of it in fact. So much so that when he opened his mouth to tell Kisame what he really wanted to say his chest constricted and his throat closed up. So he kept it all bottled up inside in order to maintain a façade of perfection. "Yeah."
The two walked in silence as they crossed the street and traversed the main road that bisected the campus in two. When they finally reached Itachi's dorm Kisame said "Do me a favor and take it easy tonight, okay?"
"I think I'm gonna turn in for an early night." He wearily admitted.
"Sounds like a plan." Kisame said and tapped him on the shoulder. "See you around, Itachi."
"See you." Itachi mumbled and quickly stalked off in the direction of his dorm.
It was nearing 6 o'clock which meant Deidara would have left for his art class by now. It was one of many late classes the blonde scheduled throughout the week which meant that he wouldn't be back until close to nine thirty. Itachi hoped to be fast asleep by then. In cases like that Deidara often padded quietly throughout the room with only his bedside lamp on as to not disturb his sleeping roommate.
"I decided to skip it tonight, yeah." Deidara said by way of explanation when Itachi entered the room. He was sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by mounds of shredded paper. Not paper that was put through a shredder mind you; papers that had been physically and brutally torn out of the open books laying among the carnage. If Itachi didn't feel like throwing up then he certainly had to repress the urge to do so when he realized the books Deidara destroyed were actual textbooks.
"They're not my textbooks in case you're wondering, yeah." Deidara said. "I bought them from the bookstore."
"To rip them up?" Itachi breathed. His breath left his body in ragged, uneven puffs as he tried to piece together any logical reason someone would go to such lengths for a silly art project.
Deidara nodded enthusiastically, unaware of Itachi's crumbling mental state in the doorway as he ripped away. "I'm gonna paint a picture of someone ready to blow their brains out and glue them around the edges or something, yeah. A symbolic representation of the human mind during finals!"
It just got worse with every word that left his mouth. "Deidara are you…okay?"
Deidara nodded. "Oh yeah! I'm not suicidal if that's what you're thinking. It's just an expression, yeah. Don't read into it too much."
Itachi nodded and tip toed around the mess, trying not to step on anything and add to the damage that had already been done.
"It's kinda like, when your head is full of pointless shit that's not gonna even be on the test and it feels like it could explode at any minute?"
"Sure." He said when in actuality he couldn't relate. Reading and learning new things fulfilled him in the way that video games and watching movies fulfilled others. He was in the slim percentage of college students who actually read through the assigned readings because he wanted to, not necessarily because it was required or would be on a test. If anything it could serve as a conversation starter in the future or be the answer to a difficult crossword puzzle.
"Not feeling well or something?" Deidara inquired when Itachi crawled into bed still in his street clothes.
"Kinda." Itachi told him. "I have a headache so do you think you could do that when I'm not here?"
"Sure thing. You know I actually have more than enough I just liked the sound of tearing pages and couldn't stop, yeah!"
As Deidara padded around the room scooping up piles of shredded papers into a trash bag Itachi thought about what he told him. Did Kisame feel like that when they studied together? He wondered. Did he want to "blow his brains out" when he couldn't absorb anymore knowledge?
God Itachi had been an asshole tonight when Kisame hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. On top of that he'd been especially kind to Itachi lately – taking care of him at the aquarium and paying for his meals. He didn't deserve to act as the target for Itachi's frustrations or carry the brunt of his stress.
He pulled his phone out to compile a text when an idea hit him. He turned over in his bed to find Deidara picking up the remaining textbook shreds and asked "Hey Deidara?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you already cleaned up but do you think I could take a picture of that?" He asked.
Deidara regarded him cautiously. "What for? You know you're lucky to see my art in its beginning stages, yeah. Most people don't get sneak peeks."
"I…was hoping to send a picture to Kisame. Is that alright?"
Deidara considered this for a moment and stood up, still holding the edges of the trash bag. "Tell me when you're ready and I'll count to three, okay?"
"Is that a yes or…"
"Get your camera ready and trust me, okay?"
Unsure of what to expect from the blonde, Itachi readied his camera. Deidara counted to three, hoisting the bag high over his head and spilled the contents onto the floor. By the time Itachi realized what was happening it was too late and he had no choice but to snap the pic he requested.
"Send that to me, okay?" Deidara chuckled when he saw it.
"Sure." Itachi said. The picture was a blur of shredded papers falling from the sky like a snowstorm on a windy day. The only visible parts of Deidara were his arms, bits of his hair and the black trash bag in the upper corner.
He sent the picture to Kisame with a text that read "Is this how you feel when you study? (Deidara ripped up a couple of textbooks for an art project). I'm sorry about tonight." He typed and thought about what to say next. I was stressed out? I was never upset with you? I'm sorry about what I said? You didn't deserve to be treated that way?
"I know I'm the one who made the mess but the least you can do is help me out, yeah."
"Right. Give me one second." Itachi said.
He needed to say more but Deidara was right. He asked him for a picture. The least he could do was help clean up. So he quickly finished the text with "I hope you can forgive me. Talk more tomorrow." And hit 'Send.'
But Kisame didn't show up to lunch the next day. After ten minutes of waiting Itachi pulled out his phone to be greeted by a text from Kisame shortly before his class ended. 'Didn't sleep well last night. Skipping class to take a nap before NutPed. Won't be at lunch either.'
Wanting to catch up on sleep was normal every now and again but after their argument the night before Itachi wasn't too sure Kisame was telling him the truth. Especially considering how highly Kisame spoke of eating three meals a day. He hoped that wasn't the case but the last text he received from Kisame wasn't too reassuring. "Me? Never." And that's all he wrote in response to the picture he took of Deidara and his textbook snow shower. Kisame's usual sarcastic tone was there but the message was short and didn't touch on the apologetic notes of Itachi's text message to him.
Itachi sighed heavily. He couldn't fault Kisame for wanting to avoid him. He had some major apologizing left to do but hoped that he could do so in person where he could best communicate his thoughts. If they didn't have lunch together he wouldn't see the upperclassman again until Thursday afternoon.
But like Deidara, maybe Kisame just needed space to process everything.
With that in mind, Itachi took out his notes for Chinese to review whilst eating his salad. Every so often someone would walk by his table so closely that he'd raise his head, imagining that Kisame had decided to show up after all but that was never the case. He spent the rest of his lunch hour this way, looking up at the people passing by and reviewing his notes in silence, wishing the only noise wasn't the crunch of his salad between the tines of his fork.
On Thursday Itachi received yet another text from Kisame saying he was going to miss lunch that day. His reason this time being that he'd stayed up too late working on a paper and needed to catch up on sleep again.
Did he intend to skip two days' worth of classes in a row? Itachi hoped not. Skipping a class here and there was a common trend among college students as finals drew closer and closer. While he couldn't condone such behavior for himself as the classes closest to finals often introduced new material or reviewed old material, he felt that a break every now and again was justified for those who needed one. Had someone asked him for his stance two weeks ago he might have looked at them strangely. But after Deidara explained the concept for his new art project his opinion changed.
Even so, something didn't add up in Itachi's mind. Just Tuesday night he couldn't sit still to complete one assignment much less write two paragraphs for an essay. What suddenly changed?
Itachi liked to think that his words, harsh as they were, ignited something in the upperclassman that made him realize just how close finals actually were. 'Try to complete all of your assignments to the best of your ability.' He'd told him that night. He did NOT say 'Disregard your need for sleep and skip lunch every day until everything's finished.'
Did he need help studying? If so, Itachi could help him. He could visit him after his statistics class and see what was going on. From there, they could work out a strategy so he wouldn't drive himself into the ground. The question remained, however: would Kisame want to after everything he said?
Itachi tugged on his pony-tail and draped it over his shoulder, running his fingers down the length. Things would be different this time. Itachi knew better than before. This time he would devote the entirety of his attention to helping Kisame instead of focusing on his own work. He could complete his own assignments at his leisure anyways.
And so Itachi found himself in University Hall after ten minutes of standing outside waiting for someone to let him in. When he reached Kisame's door he moved his hand to knock and froze. When was the last time he'd knocked on Kisame's door uninvited? Had he ever been so forward before? Most times Kisame greeted him in the lobby to let him in so there was never a need for him to knock before.
He checked the time on his watch. It was drawing close to 4 o'clock and Kisame's statistics class ended around three. That gave Kisame ample time to return back to his dorm, right?
He took a deep breath to steady himself and knocked on the door, hoping that Kisame would be the one to answer and not—
—one of his roommates.
"Is it Friday already?" Zabuza grinned. He propped up an elbow against the doorframe and leaning against it. He should have guessed. Zabuza came back from classes around this time on Tuesdays so it only made sense that he'd be around this time on Thursday.
Itachi ignored the question and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Is Kisame here?"
Try as he might to present a steeled resolve, Zabuza still had several inches on him and loomed above him like a storm cloud. "He's not." He answered. "Why? Do you have a cooking date planned?"
Itachi sent him a glare that showed his unappreciation for the man's crude attitude and uncrossed his arms. "That's all I needed to know." And with that he turned to leave. He couldn't stay very long anyways as he himself had a late class in two hours and still needed to eat dinner before hand.
"Wait!" Zabuza called out after him. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."
Itachi halted and looked over his shoulder. "What could you possibly want?" He asked, voicing his thoughts aloud without consideration to how they sounded. "Contrary to what you may think I don't cook with Kisame to cater to you." He said, surprised by the strength in his own words. He'd never talked to any of Kisame's roommates much before aside from Zabuza. Even then he never used such language when addressing the older student.
Zabuza raised his thin eyebrows, seemingly impressed by Itachi's gall as well. "I can see why Kisame likes you."
QUICK! SOMEBODY HURRY UP AND UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER DAMMIT! Oh wait, that's my job. Shit! Suckerssss - you're gonna have to wait until next year for an update! (If you know, you know).
I will ask a question though: why do you think Kisame has been M.I.A?