"Hey, there is a car that looks just like Da—." Blaine trailed off.
"David's?" David asked, grinning.
Blaine threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around David in a tight hug.
"Hey, Blaine." David said as he hugged Blaine back; he was beginning to feel guilty for not having come sooner. He had to make a point to visit more, especially with Blaine in his current state—not eating enough, going between sleeping too much and not at all, not giving 110% in school, barely talking… From what Wes had said, Blaine wasn't okay. He was far from it—and it didn't take a genius to see that, either. Blaine had clearly lost at least ten pounds.
"Why are you here?" Blaine pulled back, trying his hardest to look happy but there was only so far acting could take him and his eyes gave away the rest.
"Wes asked me to come." David said. "Blaine, you're not okay."
"I'm fine." Blaine attempted a cheerful smile although it was useless. David and Wes knew him better than anyone—better than Kurt, even.
Kurt.
"If you're fine, I'm an Indian." David eyed him. "Can we go out? All three of us, to get food and talk?"
"I don't feel like talking. I'm really tired."
"I came all the way from New York, Blaine." David didn't break eye contact. "I'm not leaving until Monday and I would much rather have this discussion out of the way so there isn't tension until I go home."
Blaine gave a resigned sigh and nodded. "Alright. Fine. But I'm not happy about it."
…
"I can't lie and say I know what you're feeling right now." Wes said an hour later as he, David, and Blaine sat at a booth in a Mexican restaurant. There was a large plate of Nachos in front of them, but the three of them had yet to touch them. "I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I can't relate at all. But I asked David to come because I'm worried about you. You're withdrawn, you're not putting as much into school as you did before spring break; you're not eating and sleeping like you should be. I don't like seeing you this way."
Blaine busied himself by staring at the patterned tile of the table they were sitting at, tracing the orange sun with his finger.
"Break ups suck, Blaine." David sighed. "But you're going to be okay."
"It doesn't feel that way." Blaine mumbled.
"You will." David promised. "Remember after you… wanted to kill yourself? When you called?"
Blaine didn't respond.
"It took you a long time to bounce back but then you did. The thing is now… Now, unfortunately, you don't have the luxury of not taking care of yourself or not giving 110% in school. Because if you make yourself sick and have to miss school, that could be detrimental to your grades. And if you get sick and miss or just slack off and do badly in your classes, it could hurt your chances of getting a job in two and a half years when you graduate. With a Harvard degree, you've got to want to be the best and… and you can't settle for being the standard." David sighed. "I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you but… you can't let the break up negatively affect school… School is important."
Blaine bit his lip.
"So what can we do to help you?" This time Wes spoke, watching Blaine carefully. "What do we do to help you get over him?"
"I don't want to get over him." Blaine mumbled. "I want to just wake up and not remember him at all."
"That's not going to happen, so you've got to find a way to… for lack of better words, get over it." Wes didn't take his eyes off Blaine.
"I don't know how to do that." Blaine finally raised his head, looking between the two of them. "He has been such a huge part of my life for years. Everything I have reminds me of him or a day we had. When songs come on the radio, I remember singing them in the car with him. Sometimes I see people at school dressed similar to how he would dress and I get so excited because it's like I think it's Kurt and then I realize it can't be Kurt because Kurt doesn't love me anymore and wouldn't want to see me in the first place and…"
"Stop." David cut him off. "This is what needs to not happen. Listen… You are wallowing. And it was okay. Everybody gets a two-week pass for wallowing in self-pity, but it's been almost a month, Anderson. It's time to buck up and move on."
Blaine looked at him, wounded.
David continued, unfazed. "I'm sorry but there's no way to even sugarcoat this. You miss him, and you're heartbroken. But you're an adult now and… and it's time to get on with your life. You don't have to forget Kurt. But you've got to move on. There's no alternative. It's been too long. You've got to."
Wes nodded in agreement. "You can't be unhappy the rest of your life."
"I don't know how to be happy without him."
"Then fake it. Fake it until you make it, Blainers. What you're doing isn't healthy and we're—."
"We're not going to let you do it anymore." David finished. "Give me your phone."
"What?" Blaine asked.
"Just give it to me." David held out his hand.
Blaine sighed, dropping his iPhone into his hand. He watched David go through, deleting Kurt's text messages.
"Some of those were important!" Blaine said, reaching for his phone.
"Not anymore they aren't." David moved on to Blaine's photos.
"David, stop it!"
"You can't sit and stare at this crap all day, Blaine! How do you think you can get over him if you keep looking at pictures of you all doing stuff?" David asked.
"That's stupid because they're all backed up anyway." Blaine scoffed.
"Put in your Facebook password and give me the phone." David handed him the phone back.
"David, maybe you…" Wes trailed off.
"No. All contact is gone. No more Facebook stalking, no more reading texts from three years ago, no more looking at pictures from high school. You can't start healing as long as this stuff is staring you in the face because if it's there, you're obviously going to look at it because it's what you've been doing." David said, looking at Wes while his words were aimed at Blaine who was surprisingly actually signing into his Facebook for David.
"Here." Blaine's voice was barely above a whisper as he passed it back to David. He looked away as David went to his friends section on the app and the un-friended Kurt.
"Did you return the ring yet, Blaine?" David asked, his voice much gentler than it had been. Maybe he felt bad, but it was called 'tough love' for a reason.
Blaine shook his head, staring out the window with tears stinging in his eyes.
"You said you returned that." Wes stared at Blaine, taken aback.
"I went to but couldn't make myself go in." Blaine took a deep breath. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry.
"How long do you have to do it?" David asked.
"Three more days."
"We'll do it tomorrow." David said. "And tomorrow we'll close down the joint bank accounts you and Kurt have. You already opened one up here anyway for your loans and stuff. Just take what is yours, put Kurt's in his account, and close the joint one."
Blaine wiped his eyes, biting his lip hard. "Fine. Can we please stop this now?"
David nodded. "For now."
Blaine tossed ten dollars on the table and rushed out the restaurant.
"Do you think we were too hard on him?" Wes asked.
"Something has got to snap him out of this." David shook his head. "He can't pine over Kurt for the rest of his life. After how Kurt just ended it, without even giving Blaine a real chance to work through things… there's no reason for him to pine over Kurt like this. Clearly Kurt didn't feel about Blaine the way everyone thought he did. It's time for Blaine to move on like Kurt obviously has. I'm pretty sure Kurt's been moving on since he found out about Blaine's acceptance letter."
"Don't say that." Wes sighed, pulling out his wallet. "They could get back together one day."
"I don't care if they do. He hurt Blaine. From the day he sent Blaine crying to my house over winter break, I knew Kurt wasn't good enough for Blaine anymore. I don't see my mind ever changing." David stood, adding money to the pile Wes and Blaine had made before going up front to pay with the bills.
Wes went out, going to stand behind Blaine who was standing outside Wes' car and looking down, tears every so often making their way down his face.
"I'm sorry, Blaine." Wes whispered, putting his hand on Blaine's shoulder.
"Me too." Blaine sniffled loudly.
"Do you want a hug?" Wes asked, squeezing his shoulder.
"P-Please." Blaine nodded.
Wes pulled him into a hug, hand petting Blaine's ungelled curls. "It's going to be okay. We've got your back. We've gotten you through worse."
"T-Thanks." Blaine sniffled again as David came up, straightening himself out. "Even if I'm really u-upset. Thanks."
"Anytime, Blaine." David put his hand on Blaine's back, rubbing up and down a few times. "Let's get back to your house and watch some trashy TV."
"As long as it's not the Bobby Brown show, I'll watch anything."
***LTC***
"Why do I have $2,000 extra dollars in my checking account?" Kurt said out loud, staring at his PNC Bank account's website. He went over to accounts to check the others before noticing… there wasn't anymore. His joint savings and checking account with Blaine was gone. Just… gone.
He blinked at the screen, swallowing hard. There had been $1437 in the joint savings that was his portion and in his checking… $563. That was $2000.
Blaine had closed the accounts.
He had closed the accounts and moved Kurt's money back into Kurt's personal checking account.
Kurt swallowed again, logging off and hurriedly signing onto Facebook. He raised the mouse to the bar, began to type in Blaine Anderson. His Blaine wasn't there. Some infantry something guy named Blaine Anderson showed up with a little "Add Friend+" icon next to it.
Blaine's profile was unsearchable. He had to add you before you could even look at anything. There wasn't even a way to see his profile picture. Not even a stupid profile picture. The pictures he'd been tagged in gone and any of Blaine's past wall comments were gone, all gone. Just… gone.
Kurt took a deep breath. Maybe he shouldn't have spent so much time on Blaine's Facebook, looking at pictures, remembering good times, laughing at Blaine's old statuses because while Blaine rarely posted on Facebook… Whenever he did, it was always funny or so rude that it was funny. And to have that taken away… What way did he have to keep tabs on Blaine now?
Realistically, Blaine hadn't posted on Facebook even once since the break up and he'd only shown up on Facebook Chat for mere seconds at a time. But still. There was still that form of connection… But now? It was gone.
Blaine wasn't answering calls, texts, emails, and now he couldn't even see his Facebook, didn't have a joint account.
"I'm not going to cry." Kurt said out loud, standing up. He looked around the sitting area of his internship, where he had been sitting for over an hour waiting for his shift to begin. Why had he checked his computer? Why right before he had to work his last shift? Why? "I'm not going to cry, it's okay. This is what happens in break ups. This is what you wanted."
This wasn't at all what Kurt wanted.
But fine.
It was fine.
He didn't have time to think about it. He had to be 100% on the last day because if he botched this last day up, it could affect recommendations the place would give him. So Kurt had to man up, push it out of his mind, and try to finish out the day. Besides, Kurt reminded himself, this was a break up. This all had to happen eventually.
He gently set his laptop inside its case and zipped it up. He put on a smile as one of the designer's assistants approached him.
"He left the folder of stuff for you to do on the desk in the copy room." The woman said, smiling.
"Thanks." Kurt nodded, putting his bag over his shoulder and making his way towards the copy room.
The copy room where, of course, Derek was standing around. Because Derek seemed to always be around when Kurt needed somebody to punch.
Derek looked up as Kurt entered, a smirk spreading across his face. "Hey, Kurt."
Kurt walked past Derek without even a glance, grabbing his folder off of the counter and turning to leave the room.
"Don't be that way." Derek said, hand reaching out to wrap around Kurt's wrist as he made his way to exit.
"Don't touch me." Kurt said, voice surprisingly composed.
Derek's grip tightened. "Don't be that way."
"Let go of me." Kurt said, tensing.
Derek dropped his wrist, smirk still plastered on his face. "You haven't been very friendly with me, Kurt."
"Yeah? Take a hint." Kurt began to walk away. "I have stuff to do."
"Are you still mad I overheard your conversation with Alec? I don't know how many times I can say sorry." Derek moved in front of Kurt, blocking him leaving.
"Apology accepted." Kurt said through gritted teeth. "Move."
"Where are your manners?" Derek leaned back against the door frame, watching Kurt carefully with dark brown eyes.
"Some people don't deserve manners." Kurt remarked. "Move."
"I think we both know what's really going on here." Derek said, eyes not leaving Kurt. "You're acting this way because you have feelings for me and don't want to look like an asshole for moving on so quickly. Who cares what people think?"
"Are you as dumb as you sound?" Kurt hissed.
Derek leaned over, whispering in Kurt's ear. "I get over people within hours, Kurt. I mean I know he was loaded but there are people with more money than him… Like me."
Kurt froze, unable to even speak. Blood rushed in his ears. Derek thought he was the kind of person to stay with someone for money? Blaine's money meant nothing to him. Nothing.
Then, it hit him.
"How do you know how much money Blaine had?" Kurt demanded, moving away from him.
Derek smirked. "Don't worry about it. Well off families know their competitors. I know you wouldn't understand that."
Kurt gritted his teeth. Derek really was as dumb as he sounded.
"Come on. He wasn't that cute. Someone like you could do so much better." Derek pulled back, smirking. "You deserve better. I'm better."
"Go." Kurt said, moving away from him.
"I could give you better, Kurt." Derek called as Kurt walked away.
Kurt spun around, walking back up to him. "It will never happen."
"I like this side of you, Kurt. It's much better than you moping around over your frizzy haired ex."
"It will never happen." Kurt repeated in a low voice. "So leave me alone."
"Better get those copies made." Derek stepped aside, checking Kurt's body out and then leaving the copy room as a designer walked in.
"Everything okay, sweetie?" The woman designer asked, smiling.
"Fine." Kurt responded, forcing a smile and opening the copying machine. He wasn't even supposed to make copies, but he would have looked absolutely insane for being in the copy room if he didn't since Derek had made his statement. He let out a deep breath when the woman left, grabbing the copies off of the machine and tossing them into the trashcan on his way out. He tried to ignore Derek's smirk as he walked into the main office, instead focusing on the papers in the manila folder telling him what needed to be done before he received his papers for successfully completing his internship.
Getting his work done would have gone by a lot quicker if he hadn't spent the time wondering exactly how Derek had really found out about Blaine's money. Did it really matter, though, since it was the last day of the internship and theoretically the last time he would ever see Derek again? Or since he and Blaine were broken up anyway?
Man, it was turning into an awful day.
…
"I have tried to be positive about today." Kurt dropped into a seat across from Alec a few hours later. "No, wait. I really haven't. Because this has been one of the worst days of my life."
Alec, who had been looking over his portfolio, looked up. "What's wrong?"
"Blaine deleted me on Facebook and closed our joint bank accounts." Kurt sighed.
"Did he block you? Just get on mine."
"Are you his Facebook friend?" Kurt asked eagerly.
"No."
"His is completely private. His name won't even show up. He has to add you." Kurt sighed again, looking disappointed. "Last week I was fine. I was even relieved when it came down to all of this stuff. But I just… I'm sad. I really hate this back and forth."
"You've been a lot more positive than you were even two weeks ago, Kurt. I'm sure there are good days and bad days." Alec reassured him. He wasn't a pro when it came to break ups but he did know that Kurt had been doing a lot better.
"He won't answer my calls or texts, Alec. I can't even see a profile picture anymore. There… There is no contact between us. Period. He still hasn't called Carole and that breaks my heart because she loves him like a son. I'm her stepson and she loves me, yeah. She and Blaine bonded when he moved in and now they aren't even talking."
"Has your stepmom tried to call him?"
"She called him two weeks after the break up and she tried again last night. She left a voicemail saying that she was trying to give him time but to call when he was ready to talk."
"She told you that?" Alec looked surprised. "I thought they weren't mentioning his name in front of you or Melody."
"No. I overheard her making the call." Kurt massaged his forehead.
"What about your dad?"
"They talked." Kurt sighed. "Apparently Dad texted him the day of the break up and they've texted off and on, but last week they talked on the phone."
"So he's talked to your dad and not Carole?" Alec looked surprised again. "That's weird."
"He's really, really weird about communication." Kurt shrugged. "He finds it harder to talk to people he knows better. I don't know how much longer I can talk about this without getting really upset."
Alec continued, not quite ready to end the conversation just yet. "I don't know. Maybe that's a good thing. By not talking to Carole, maybe it means he's trying to move on. If it's not going to work between you two, there's no real reason to have any lines of communication open. Right?"
Kurt looked at him, not offering up an answer.
"I mean… ultimately, it would make the break up harder. If Eric and I broke up, I wouldn't talk to his parents." Alec continued. "You're handling the break up better than you were a few weeks ago, right? You should want the same for Blaine. Being close with your parents will probably make it harder on him."
"I don't know how much better I'm doing if I'm this upset he deleted me on Facebook and closed our joint accounts." Kurt muttered, frowning.
"You're getting there." Alec patted his shoulder. "We've been over this. It takes time. If I were you, I would be glad he isn't talking to Carole."
"But they were really close…" Kurt frowned.
"He'll call her when he's ready and hopefully by then, he'll have moved on." Alec reassured him. "This is a good thing."
"How do you know it's a good thing?"
"Because you broke up with him and he's trying to move on." Alec said slowly. "This is what you wanted, Kurt. Remember?"
Kurt sighed. How did he explain that none of this was what he wanted? What he wanted was for Blaine and he to remain together, in school, until they got real jobs? That he wanted to marry Blaine, to have kids with him. At least, that was what he'd wanted for a very long time. It was hard to just throw those thoughts and feelings out the window.
"Anyway…" Alec tried to change the subject to something happier. "Are your pieces for the fashion show ready?"
"I finished at five this morning." Kurt nodded, perking up a bit. A distraction from break up talk would be nice.
"Lucky. I've got three pieces to finish." Alec moaned.
"You've got two weeks left." Kurt forced a smile. "You'll be fine. Plus, you work best under pressure. I'm the complete opposite."
"Yeah. That's exactly what Eric said last night, trying to get me to fool around. 'C'mon, babe. You know you work better putting it off.'" Alec rolled his eyes.
Kurt actually laughed. "I bet he's excited."
"Yeah. All he's got is graduation left." Alec smiled. "His parents will be over in a few days so he'll be going back to Toledo."
"He's really been spending a lot of time in Columbus." Kurt noted.
"I think he and his roommate are getting on each other's nerves." Alec snorted.
"Is he still getting on your nerves?" Kurt laughed again.
"Oh we always get on each other's nerves. I don't know how we'll actually live together once we get to New York. It's a good thing he's a doctor because I'll never see him." Alec laughed loudly at himself. "We are in trouble, Kurt."
"You two will be fine. You can tell by looking at you." Kurt promised.
"How long did it take to adjust to living alone together?" Alec asked.
"I don't know. It just happens naturally and gradually… You two will fall into new routines together and you won't even realize it's happened." Kurt frowned, looking down.
"Hey… I have an idea that might cheer you up." Alec said.
"What's that?" Kurt asked, looking back up at him.
"Well in a month we'll be moving to New York and I for one have no idea how anything down there works. So I was thinking we could take a weekend trip there together? It will give you a chance to have some fun and not think about things and it will give both of us a chance to get acquainted with the city. I, for one, am very directionally challenged and could use all the extra practice I can get." Alec grinned and then added, "Just me and you. You've got aunts and friends up there. If we can stay with some of them, it won't even be that expensive. And I have like tons of gas cards and Visa gift cards from my parents that I haven't been able to use."
"Haven't been able to use? Why didn't you spend it on clothes?"
"I always forget about them." Alec admitted, shrugging.
"Well I could call my aunts tonight and see if they care to let us stay there. I'm supposed to go there anyway to be shown around and I'm sure they won't mind you staying at their house. I just have to warn you that they're very… odd sometimes." Kurt said, feeling a sense of excitement run through him. "I like your ideas, Alec Davis."
"You know, I've had a few good ones in my time." Alec grinned. "Awesome. So let's do it. We'll have a mini vacation in New York. You can even see your friends and stuff! It'll be amazing."
"I'm really excited." Kurt smiled—and not a forced one. This was good. Distraction is just what he needed to move on completely from the break up. He would focus on the fashion show coming up and their trip to New York, pushing his feelings about the break up or even his frustrations about Derek aside.
"Me too. It'll be nice." Alec stood and grabbed his bag. "Let's get some ice cream or something. I'm not ready to go home yet."
"Is he still in the same pajamas from Tuesday?"
"Don't talk about it." Alec cringed. "He's like 'Well at least I changed my boxers.' I don't give a damn if you haven't been able to lie around in your pajamas for eight years. At least change them."
"Has he been showering?"
"Yes. He just puts the same pajamas right back on." Alec rolled his eyes. "I told him he could wear a pair of mine when his were in the washer. I told him to sit around naked for all I cared when I was at school, but he's not washed them."
"He probably has washed them and is telling you he hasn't." Kurt pointed out.
"God, I hope." Alec groaned. "Men are so annoying."
"Speaking of annoying men," Kurt interrupted. "I have to tell you what happened with Derek today."
"Oh no. Is it going to piss me off?" Alec asked. "I told him to lay off bugging you. Alright, go on and tell me. What happened?"
"Well…" Kurt began before launching into the story.
And, yes. Kurt was pretty sure it would piss Alec off.
***LTC***
Blaine turned his phone over and over in his hands, biting his lip. David had finally gone back on New York and that was good. In fact, it was amazing.
It wasn't that Blaine hadn't wanted him there.
However, when Wes and David were together, they tended to tell Blaine everything he was doing wrong to deal with the break up and everything he should have been doing instead. It had taken everything in him to not go off on both of them earlier when he had returned Kurt's ring.
Don't you feel better now?
Aren't you glad that's done?
NO. No, he was not glad he had returned the ring he was going to use to propose to the love of his life.
Ex-love of his life, that is.
Was Blaine supposed to be happy he'd been ready to pop the question (Okay, ready to do it sometime in the near future) and instead ended up single? Ha. Ha ha ha. The answer to that surely couldn't be yes.
He clicked onto his contracts, scrolling to the "C" section. His finger hovered over Carole's name before he locked the phone, setting it down.
He wanted to call, he really did. But what did he say?
Sorry for not answering your last two calls?
Sorry I didn't tell you I'd gotten your care package, it just made me cry for three hours?
Sorry I ruined things with Kurt and now you probably feel obligated to talk to me?
Blaine rubbed his forehead and bit his lip. He'd wanted to call her but he couldn't make himself actually do it. What if she was mad at him for not calling sooner? What if she didn't want to talk to him at all anymore?
He was mostly being silly, he knew that. But he couldn't help it.
He unlocked his phone speedily and pushed her number, closing his eyes when he heard the dial tone.
One ring…
Two rings…
Three…
Maybe he should hang up now, before she answers. He can text her, say he called on accident, butt dialed her, something, anything…
"Hey, hon."
Blaine bit his lip hard, feeling tears spring to his eyes. He then swallowed and said, "Hi, Carole."
"Hang on one second, sweetie." Carole said. He could hear her saying something to someone, saying she'd take her lunch early, and that she'd be back soon.
Of course Carole was at work. Why hadn't he thought of that? Would it make her mad? Look like he had no regard for the things going on in her life?
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Are you still here?"
"Yes." Blaine said, voice sounding higher than he meant it to. He was nervous. He was nervous to talk to Carole. He never thought he'd feel this way. And it made him feel like an absolute baby.
"I'm so glad you called. I've been worried about you, Blaine." Carole said, her voice gentle and soothing. Could she tell he was crying? Did she just know? She had always been excellent at knowing when he was upset. "How is school?"
Blaine felt a rush of gratitude at her for not having asked how he was, but instead how school was. "It's normal."
Say more. Say more.
"You're getting close to the end of your first year! I'm really proud of you, hon. Are you still top in your class?"
"Yeah." Blaine wiped his eyes, trying his hardest not to sniffle. "I'm sorry."
"Honey, what on Earth are you sorry for?" Carole asked gently.
"I w-wanted to call but didn't… know what to say. And I still… don't." Blaine couldn't stop the sniffle, wiping his eyes again.
"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay. You can call me back if you want. You can take all of the time you need. I'll still be here."
Blaine let out a quiet sob. "I don't want to call back. I want to t-talk."
"Then we'll talk." Carole promised. "Did you have classes today?"
"Study group." Blaine sniffled. "I've been home an hour."
"Don't cry, Blaine. It's okay." Carole's voice was still soft and comforting. Why wasn't Carole his mom? Or, better yet, why wasn't his mother like Carole? Why did Blaine have no family to turn to?
Blaine took a deep breath, nodding although she couldn't see it.
"It's okay." Carole repeated gently. "You're fine. It's okay."
"I j-just know you're i-in a tough spot a-and I don't want to make things awkward for you." Blaine sniffled. "I don't want you to f-feel obligated."
"Honey, I don't feel obligated. I care about you. I care about Kurt too, but I deeply care for both of you. I hate that both of you two are going through this." Carole said. "I didn't call the day of the break up because I… I didn't know what to say to you, Blaine. I figured you would want your space, but I'm sorry I didn't call that day. But I'm here for you, sweetie. I'm always here for you. I hope you know that."
Blaine wiped his eyes again. "I don't want to not talk to you. I… I have a hard time f-finding people that care for me and that I care for and I… I don't want to lose you… if that's okay."
"Honey, you won't lose me. I'm here as long as you want me here." Carole promised.
Blaine gave a watery smile.
"How are you holding up?"
"I don't know." Blaine admitted, pulling his knees to his chest. "I uh… deleted him on Facebook and closed our accounts yesterday… and today I… I returned the engagement ring. I'm having a really hard time… accepting it, I think. Sometimes I'll wake up and not… not remember we're broken up and then I do and I just…" he trailed off. "I'm trying to not let it affect school and everything but it's hard."
"Has it been getting easier?"
"Not really but school's been distracting me a lot and Wes and David are being their usual big-brother selves. Wes and I are trying to find a new roommate… Well, we should be trying but we haven't actually had the discussion yet."
"Oh? What happened to the other one?"
"He and I got into it and I gave him a nosebleed, so he moved out." Blaine actually snorted. "Wes' dad has been fronting the other guys' rent portion but we still need to look. It's hard to get time to actually talk when we see each other. Every time one of us doesn't have a test, the other one does."
"That's how it goes." Carole laughed.
"How is work?"
"It's not going too good. I may end up quitting. The hours are becoming sparse and it's too much work to get Melody picked up by the daycare's closing time." Carole said. "Burt and I need to sit and do the math but we're pretty sure we'd save money in the long run if I stayed home until she goes to actual school."
"I'm sorry." Blaine frowned.
"Oh, honey, you don't have to apologize! Staying home for a while might not be so bad. Maybe I can keep up with Melody's laundry. She goes through three outfits a day sometimes." Carole laughed again. "How is your friend? Wes?"
"Wes is alright. He's at a study group thing now… which might not end well. He and his partner absolutely hate each other. They're the top two students and she thinks he's obnoxious on top of everything else." Blaine bit his lip.
"Sweetie, my lunch is over so I have to go. But… we'll talk again, right?"
"I'd… I'd like that." Blaine answered.
"Soon?" Carole asked.
"Yeah. Soon." Blaine smiled a bit. "Thanks, Carole."
"For what?"
"For being the only person to not make me talk about the break up." Blaine took a deep breath. "I'll try to call you later this week. Tell… Tell everyone I said hi, I guess."
"Alright, hon. Keep your head up. It'll get easier. I promise." Carole assured him. "Bye."
"Bye." Blaine hung up and set his phone down, feeling as though some weight had been lifted off of his shoulder. Carole did seem to still want some sort of relationship with him despite the break up and, like he'd thanked her for, she hadn't pestered him about the break up. It hadn't been the most intellectually stimulating conversation he'd ever had, but he was fine with that.
It was something.
…
"My father says, and I quote, 'Get a roommate.'" Wes announced two hours later, barging into Blaine's bedroom. "Oooh, whatcha looking at?"
"Old cases." Blaine said, squinting.
"Blainers, do you need glasses?" Wes grinned. "I bet you'd look hot with some Ray Ban's. You know, ones that aren't sunglasses."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "I don't need glasses. I'm just tired."
"Uh huh. You'll need glasses soon enough if you keep having to read print that damn small." Wes peered down at Blaine's notebook. "Jesus Christ. Hey, did that say the dude robbed a manger?"
"Yeah. He stole the little baby Jesus." Blaine actually laughed. He was surprised at how casual the conversation was going. Most of them consisted of 'How was your day?' which really meant 'Have you cried today or do you need to cry?' That or 'You should do such and such to take your mind off things' which really sucked in the instances Blaine wasn't thinking about the break up.
"You're studying that at Harvard?"
"No. That was an add on charge." Blaine explained. "He also stole a heating and cooling system from the church he stole it from… and nearly $200,000 cash…"
"And that is why it's a case study being used at Harvard."
"It ended up being a mistrial." Blaine shrugged. "We're supposed to be finding what went wrong. Well, it's more in depth than that but that's the gist. We'll be discussing it in class so I'm writing anything that jumps out. How was the study group?"
"I regret leaving music theory." Wes sighed, taking a look at Blaine's notes.
"Oh, you're like the number one student." Blaine rolled his eyes.
"This Alicia girl is getting on my last nerve." Wes moaned. "Whine, whine, whine. She gives girls everywhere an annoying name."
"You'll survive." Blaine closed his notebook.
"Really, though. We need to try and find someone. Dad is pulling his whole 'You're too old for me to be helping you pay rent' thing. It's 'like you think tuition for a Harvard masters isn't enough.'" Wes mimed with his hands and he spoke. "I probably shouldn't have called right as they were doing dishes. He's never liked washing them."
"Well coming from someone who took out like nine loans to go to Harvard himself, he did fork over a lot of money." Blaine pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know anyone who needs a roommate?" Wes asked.
"Not offhand. I really only talk to Adrian, Ashleigh, and the people in my study group, though." Blaine shrugged. "I'll ask around. Do you know anyone?"
"Nah." Wes shook his head. "Well a few people but nobody I'd want to live with. But I'll try to ask around too."
Blaine nodded. "Alright."
"Good day? You seem… better." Wes plopped down by him.
"Yeah. I… uh… I called Carole."
Wes looked surprised. "Why?"
"I thought I was ready to talk." Blaine gave a half smile, although it was kind of pitiful. He was glad they had talked but if he was completely honest, thoughts of the breakup had plagued him the last two hours more so than the last few days. He wanted to talk to Carole again soon; he really did, but… Was it worth thoughts of Kurt flooding back when he was trying to move on?
"How did the talk go?"
"It wasn't anything special… Just small talk. But she… she still wants to talk to me. Even though Kurt and I… broke up." Blaine looked down.
"That's good, right?" Wes asked. "You want to talk to her?"
"I do want to talk to her but at the same time I keep thinking about Kurt even though we didn't even talk about him on the phone really. It's the association, I guess." Blaine frowned. "But Carole means a lot to me and I don't want to cut her out of my life. You know Kurt's family was like my own and it would be easier to cut his dad out than Carole but I really don't want to lose contact with either of those two. Burt—apart from that big Kurt fiasco way back when—has always supported me and Carole has been…"
"Sort of like a mom." Wes finished for him.
Blaine blinked, having never thought of it that way. But Wes was kind of right.
"I'm not ready to give it up. Is that weird?" Blaine asked.
"No. You were closer to her than even mine and David's mom." Wes said. "If you two can maintain that without you and Kurt being together, then you should. You don't have a whole lot of people behind you."
Blaine nodded.
"Just be aware that… with you and Kurt broken up… it may not be the same as it was. You need to have that in the back of your head. If things change or if you two end up not talking as much as it gets more complicated… you need to not let it hurt you. Alright? You're both in sort of… awkward positions." Wes spoke gently, trying to not say the wrong thing or make Blaine defensive.
"I know. I think that's why I waited so long to call her back." Blaine admitted. "I'll keep a guard up, okay?"
"Good. I just want to make sure you won't get hurt… again." Wes patted his back. "I'm glad to see you more cheerful, Blainers. You really look like you feel better. I'm glad you two talked."
Blaine smiled. "Me too."
"Back to the roommate issues, though." Wes sighed. "We have to find a new one. I just hope we don't get someone like Asshole… Speaking of, I found out his name. On a piece of mail."
Blaine grunted, not interested.
"No, Blaine. You're going to like this."
"Doubt it." Blaine mumbled.
"It's Dick. Well, Richard, which is often times called Dick."
Blaine looked up. "You mean I could have been calling him dick to his face?"
"I thought you'd get a kick out of that." Wes grinned.
"No. I just feel like I've been jipped an opportunity." Blaine pouted and then shrugged. "Oh well."
"Want to get dinner out tonight?" Wes asked.
"Sorry but I can't. Adrian and I are meeting because he's having problems with an assignment and then after we're probably going to get drinks depending on how early it is."
"You know… If I were gay, I would totally think he was cute." Wes wiggled an eyebrow. "Do you?"
"We're just friends, Wes." Blaine rolled his eyes.
"But he's gay. He said so at dinner."
"Yes after you nonchalantly asked if he did dudes or chicks." Blaine snorted. "I already knew he was gay."
"You just failed to mention the person you spend free time with is gay? Seems suspicious." Wes teased.
Blaine stood, looking at him. "It's too soon to tease me about boys… And it's way too soon for me to even think about dating someone. I don't want to date anyone else ever right now. I'm sure down the line that will change, that I'll 'love again' like your mom said, but now I just don't want anyone. Ever."
"Then maybe you should… call Kurt? At least for some sort of closure? Do you think you'd feel better?"
"Absolutely not. Plus, you know David would kill you if he knew you mentioned that. Remember the whole 'no contact' thing?" Blaine pulled his shirt off and then pulled on a t-shirt.
Adrian had mentioned a closure talk with Kurt as well. Frankly Blaine thought anyone who thought he should have any sort of chat with Kurt was out of their mind. For as much as he missed Kurt, he found that a lot of the sadness had been replaced with anger. Serious anger. He hadn't been talking about it much because he didn't like being so angry with someone that wasn't his father. But, needless to say, any interaction with Kurt Hummel was not a good idea. Blaine was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to hold back and he was even surer the conversation would have ended with Kurt in tears.
"It could help you get over him?" Wes suggested.
"Doubtful." Blaine responded, once again looking at Wes. "Look, I should get my stuff ready to go and meet him. Don't wait up."
"Use protection, son." Wes said, lowering his voice.
"I hate you."
…
"You make it sound like the simplest thing in the world. Maybe I should have been an English major." Adrian whined two and a half hours later as he snapped his notebook shut.
"What did you major in?"
"I double majored." Adrian said, taking a drink of his Sprite. "In two completely random and different areas."
"Oh?"
"Environmental Engineering and…" Adrian sighed. "Philosophy with a minor in Finance."
Blaine blinked at him. "What? Can you… repeat that?"
"Nope. No need to. You heard correctly."
Blaine arched his eyebrow and asked slowly, "So… why are you at Harvard Law?"
"Because I had 4.0 GPA, a raw score of 103 on the LSAT and I was in the 99.9 percentile."
Blaine stared at him. "Woah. You double majored, had a minor, and had a 4.0 and scored that on the LSAT?"
"I have a lot of free time." Adrian laughed a bit. "And see? I'm still not near as good as you. The LSAT score doesn't mean everything like they say. I bet you had a 4.0 too at the University of Kentucky."
"Yeah but I didn't double major and I wasn't in the 99.9th percentile." Blaine said, his hazel eyes wide. "You're like Einstein. Where'd you go to college?"
"University of Colorado Boulder."
"I have never even heard of that." Blaine said, looking confused. "I feel like I was just knocked down five smart pegs or something."
"Yeah, right. Now that you've picked your game back up in school, nobody else stands a chance at number one in any of the first year classes." Adrian rolled his eyes.
"Well if I don't find a new roommate soon, I may get evicted and have to move to Westerville, Ohio. Then someone can take my place." Blaine snorted. "Do you know anyone who needs a roommate?"
"Not a guy. Are you or Wes against rooming with a girl?"
"I'd room with an ape over my old roommate." Blaine muttered, saving himself from sounding immature for not using the name Asshole.
"She goes to Harvard for a graduate degree in the Sciences department. Her name is AJ. She won't be able to meet for three weeks, though. Family emergency so she's in Oregon. I can give her your number?"
"Please do. Is she nice?"
"Yes. She's awesome." Adrian nodded. "We went to undergrad together in Colorado. She was in a few of my electives. She's a close friend."
"Good enough for me. I'm sure she'll want to meet Wes and me but she can probably have it. She can even have the big bathroom… to herself. I'm desperate." Blaine said.
"Wow. You must really be desperate. I've seen how stuffed the bathroom is and it's the big one you're in now, right?" Adrian laughed and pulled out his phone, tapping out a text message. "There. She probably won't answer right away but I'll let you know what she says?"
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Blaine let out a relieved sigh and then pointed to Adrian's notebook. "So, do you feel better about it?"
"Yes and no." Adrian shrugged. "Some stuff is just harder to absorb, I guess. Sometimes it's harder for me to find the flaws than other people."
"Well you majored in Philosophy. Try to analyze it the same way." Blaine suggested and tapped his fingers on the table. "This is all the basics anyway. It's meant to be practice for next year."
"I still worry sometimes." Adrian admitted.
"Oh, come on. You're the fourth highest student in our year." Blaine rolled his eyes. "You're fine. You'll be fine."
"Do you worry?"
"I do. Sometimes I wonder how I got in." Blaine confessed.
"Well you certainly have nothing to worry about." Adrian reassured him. "How many internships called you for interviews? Each one you applied to?"
"Yeah. I'm hoping I get the CMJ one."
"Hey, I interviewed with them too. So I hope you don't get it." Adrian teased.
"They had three spots open." Blaine laughed.
"Oh, okay. Well I hope we both get it then." Adrian grinned, taking another drink of his Sprite. "You seem to be feeling better today. You're more talkative."
"I kind of do feel better." Blaine sat up a little straighter. "Not great, but…"
"Hey, anything is progress. It takes time." Adrian nodded. "You're doing well. Go at your own pace."
"Everyone else is trying to throw me out to the dogs. I had an intervention earlier this week." Blaine sighed.
"That just means your friends care." Adrian smiled, although it looked more apologetic than anything. "You'll get there eventually."
"Thanks." Blaine forced a smile back. "Hey, I should probably go. I didn't get much sleep last night. And I need to straighten up my room, de-clutter stuff."
"You're onto the clearing out stage?" Adrian asked.
"I'm going to try to get rid of everything that screams Kurt." Blaine sighed. "I promised Wes and David I'd do it this week."
"If you get too upset, stop and finish another time." Adrian gave him a sympathetic look. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, alright?"
"Alright." Blaine nodded as he gathered his stuff. "Have a good night."
"You too." Adrian waved. "Text me if you need to vent or anything."
"Thanks." Blaine looked at him, feeling a real smile come. Adrian really was one of the nicest people he'd met at Harvard so far—you know, apart from the girls that were too clueless to realize he was gay.
"Anytime." Adrian smiled again. "Bye."
"Bye." Blaine said and put his bag over his shoulder before leaving the restaurant.
***LTC***
"Look at you, smiling ear to ear." Kurt laughed, making his way towards Alec a few days later.
"Eric graduates tonight." Alec beamed. "Last night we had dinner with his parents and sister. He tried on his robes. I swear I almost cried."
"Aww!" Kurt sat down by him. "Are you leaving straight after class?"
"In the middle. I already had it approved." Alec bounced in his seat a bit, laughing. "You'd think my own child was graduating or something. He's just so happy and that makes me happy. He's worked so hard and he's going to be a doctor tonight. In six hours."
Kurt smiled, trying to push the voice in the back of his head away—the voice that kept saying he wouldn't have felt the same happiness for Blaine if they were the ones facing a graduation. Which made him feel incredibly guilty, but this was partially why they had broken up. Distance and feelings were getting in the way of things that should have been there. This was an example of why the breakup had been the right decision.
It wasn't the right decision, the voice in the back of his head said. That's just what you tell yourself to help you sleep at night.
"How are you? What's been going on?" Alec asked cheerfully.
"You may call me crazy but… I think I want to reach out to Blaine." Kurt sighed, looking him in the eyes.
"You're right. I am going to call you crazy. You're crazy." Alec said. "Why would you do that? You know he doesn't want to talk."
"I need closure… and I'm sure he does too." Kurt responded. "I mean, I can barely sleep at night. My dad has threatened to go through my room because he found out I've been taking Ambien to sleep."
Alec shook his head. "Don't."
"Don't?"
"Don't call him. It's too soon."
"It's been a month."
"He just deleted you off Facebook and closed accounts. He's trying to move on. If you go and start trying to contact him again, it's going to confuse him and that will upset him. He's at the end of the semester at Harvard. Think if the roles were reversed—he called it off and called you right before the Fashion Show." Alec shook his head again. "I understand you want closure. I really, really do. But it's crud timing. If you have to talk to him, Kurt, wait until after his finals. Give him time to move on before you go opening barely closed wounds."
Kurt rubbed his face. "You're right."
"I know I am." Alec looked him in the eyes. "Don't do it, Kurt. Not yet at least."
"Fine. I won't." Kurt agreed and sighed softly.
"Okay." Alec nodded. "What are you going to be up to tonight?"
"Color coding my room with post its, deciding what to take to New York and what to leave in Lima." Kurt responded, shrugging. "I also have to take Kreacher to the groomers. His hair is getting way out of hand."
"He's so cute." Alec laughed. "I wish Eric wasn't allergic to dogs or I'd have twenty."
"Eric doesn't want kids and you can't have a dog?" Kurt asked teasingly. "What in the world do you see in him?"
"Love does crazy things to the brain." Alec shook his head again, this time smiling.
"Sure does." Kurt nodded, pursing his lips as the professor came in. Too bad it hadn't worked out well for him. "Have a safe trip to Toledo, okay?"
"Thanks." Alec smiled, patting his arm before turning his attention to the professor.
Kurt glanced down at his phone, the message he'd been drafting to Blaine, and pushed delete.
Alec was right, after all.
It really wasn't the best time for closure.
But maybe that was because Kurt wasn't ready to completely accept that it was over himself.
That was a story for later, though.
***LTC***
"None, zip, nada." Wes announced the next night, plopping down on Blaine's bed and cuddling up to him.
"I'm reading." Blaine said, trying to wave him back. "Scoot over some."
"You're getting your dress pants wrinkled." Wes teased, but scooted back to give Blaine some personal space.
"Nada on what?" Blaine asked, not looking up from his textbook.
"The roommate front. I asked around but nobody knows anyone needing a roommate."
"Adrian knows a girl who might be interested." Blaine said. "He gave her my number but she's out of town. She told him she'd get in touch with me later."
"A girl? Are you serious?" Wes groaned. "What if I've had sex with her?"
"Remember when you went to UCLA to be a Music Theory major with no sex experience?" Blaine laughed. "Go back to that mindset. We need rent money, Wes. Your dad can't keep fronting Asshole's portion."
"It's only the second month he's had to."
Blaine's smile faded. "Seriously, Wes. If it comes down to rooming with girl, we need to do it. And it might not be that bad."
"That's easy for you to say. You won't want to fuck her." Wes huffed.
"Did I want to fuck our last roommate?" Blaine asked.
"I don't know. Did you?" Wes asked.
Blaine rolled his eyes and then looked at him.
"Fine."
"She'll have to get the big bathroom, you know?" Blaine pointed out.
"So we're back to sharing a bathroom and have to share the small one? Your freaking hair products are taking over." Wes whined.
"Would you rather share with a girl?"
"Same difference probably." Wes scowled. "I am displeased but whatever. At least if I walk in on you, we've got the same junk. I guess anything is better than living with that homophobic douche."
"Really?" Blaine asked, eyes lighting up.
"Why are you so excited?"
"If you're really okay with it, this is one more thing off of my obnoxiously long to do list." Blaine shuddered. "You don't want to see the list. Believe me. Even one thing off of it is reason for excitement."
"Your life must really suck if you're excited our last option is moving in with a girl." Wes dramatically sighed. "I'm going to go and buy some alcohol. Preference?"
"Vodka. And Rum. Ooh, get it all. Just get it all." Blaine pulled his credit card out of his wallet and thrust it in Wes' direction.
"Oooh, you have American Express? Way to move up in the world, Blainers."
"Debt, woo!" Blaine said, although it sounded very unenthusiastic. He looked down as his phone began to ring.
"Who is that?" Wes asked, looking at the number.
Blaine held up a finger and left his bedroom.
"Rude." Wes scoffed teasingly, pulling Blaine's book onto his lap and skimming through it until Blaine came in. "Oh, wow. You look happy."
"That was the internship I wanted and I got one of the spots!" Blaine exclaimed.
"That's awesome!" Wes jumped up. "Congrats, Blaine!"
"Thanks!" Blaine grinned. "Should I text Adrian and see if he got the other position or wait until I see him tonight?"
"You're seeing him tonight?" Wes asked, surprised. "Again?"
"Yeah. We have a mock trial in three weeks but he has a big thing due in two for another class so we're going to get a head start." Blaine nodded.
"You two are hanging out a lot more than you used to."
"Well it's the end of the school year. There's more work." Blaine explained. "Plus, I think he's worried about me. I don't know why all of you are. I've told everyone that I'm fine a million times."
"And even you don't believe that. You're just trying to fake it until you make it." Wes frowned.
"I believe that was what you said to do. Was it not?" Blaine asked and looked down. "I'm trying to move past it, alright? I mean I just returned the ring. I cleared my room of all things Kurt-esque. It's not like a switch I can flip… and I understand the worrying and I know you want me to move on but… I have to do it at my pace. You need to trust me to do that and to come to you when I need comfort…"
"I draw the line at you not sleeping or eating, though. If it gets back to that, I'm stepping in." Wes said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "And I know you and Adrian are becoming real friends, not just study buddies, and… I think he's good for you. I'm glad you've got him. And he seems really cool. I like him."
Blaine smiled. "He's a good friend… but he's just a friend. So don't get any ideas."
"Are we talking like David just a friend or Old Kurt just a friend?" Wes asked, eyebrow arching.
"Like David just a friend." Blaine promised, holding out his pinky. "Pinky swear."
"Really?" Wes asked, looking at Blaine as though he were crazy.
"I'm very fragile, Wes. Don't leave me hanging." Blaine grinned.
Wes linked pinkies with him. "Tell David about this and you die."
***LTC***
It was done.
Exams finished, portfolio complete, and pieces for the fashion show more perfected than they would ever be.
Kurt should have felt a sense of relief but instead he sat on his bed, chin on his knees, staring out his window.
The last few days he had done really well not thinking about Blaine, how Blaine was probably preparing for finals, how maybe in two weeks' time he would be in Westerville, how maybe he'd stay in Boston and maybe… meet someone. Maybe he'd already met someone new?
Kurt sighed, pushing himself back until his back was rested against the headboard.
He was graduating in a little over a week. Why wasn't he excited, solidifying plans for his New York trip with Alec?
Instead he was sitting here, thinking about Blaine, missing Blaine, the same thing he'd done since August. The whole point of the break up was so he wouldn't be miserable without Blaine and, granted, most of the days had been good and positive.
Today, however, was not one of those days.
He crossed his room, pulled open his drawer, pulling out a framed picture of he and Blaine. He stared at it for several long seconds before tracing Blaine's face.
And that's when it hit him.
When he was in New York, he was going to do it.
Maybe not on his visit with Alec. Maybe it wouldn't be until he had moved in.
But somehow, someway, he was going to do it.
He was going to go to Boston.
He had to see Blaine.