Three weeks had passed since Kurt and Blaine's, as Wes called it, "fight of epic proportions."
Blaine was handling it very well, too. After all, he'd mastered Angry Birds on his iPhone. He had managed to watch three entire television series on Netflix with Adrian around the many hours spent on their shared internship. In fact, he was handling it so well that he'd even found a date to the Charity Ball.
Not Adrian.
That would have been way too awkward.
Instead, he'd invited Ashleigh. Was it the smartest thing to invite a girl that clearly liked him? Maybe not but at least she knew he was gay. It wasn't like he was leading her on. And this way, he didn't have to find a guy to take who he would have lead on seeing as Blaine was the most oblivious person in the United States.
"Wait." Wes, who had just found out who would be accompanying Blaine to the ball, dropped the beanie bag he was throwing at their front door and blinked at Blaine. "You're bringing… a girl?"
Blaine looked up from his phone briefly, eyebrow arching.
"I mean… Can you just… repeat that?" Wes asked.
"Why not? She was heading to Ohio anyway because her family is in Northern Ohio. This way she catches a ride with us, I don't look like a complete dufus without a plus one." Blaine said. "If you'll excuse me, I'm about to beat my high score on—DAMNIT!"
"I'm sorry for what I'm about to do." Wes said before leaning over the back of the couch and snatching Blaine's iPhone out of his hand.
"Wesley!" Blaine dramatically whined.
"Get a hobby."
"Bejeweled is my hobby, okay? And look. Gary and I are in an awesome Draw Something duel."
"Isn't that Adrian's roommate?"
"And my classmate. I don't know why everyone is so concerned with Adrian. When I ask him to dances, then you worry." Blaine rolled his eyes. "Let me have the phone back. He only has fifteen more minutes before his lunch is over."
"Blaine, listen to me. Summer is going to your head."
"I get my daily exercise, mother. Besides, when I was 13 I missed the gaming thing. I was too busy reading Harry Potter fanfiction."
"You were… what?"
"Don't judge me, you manslut."
"You're cramping my style." Wes accused. "The last girl I had in my room left because you were listening to what she called 'broken hearted songs.'"
"If I have a problem with being broken-hearted, you have a problem with having sex with girls." Blaine said. "It's called a fear of commitment."
"You were with Kurt for, what, five years and didn't propose!" Wes exclaimed.
"Your longest relationship has been three days." Blaine's brow furrowed. "And don't bring Kurt into this."
"Fine. If you listen to your depressing songs on your iPhone—with the headphones in." Wes pointed at him. "Please."
"Fine. I'll only listen to the Spice Girls from now on."
"You heard?" Wes gasped.
"I'm pretty sure you could hear it from any room in the house." AJ said walking through.
Wes sneered. "Nobody asked you."
"Heads up, that girl you're planning on seeing tonight? She has Herpes." AJ added.
"How do you know that?" Wes asked hesitantly.
"I overheard a phone conversation with her ex-boyfriend."
"Is this the one you've given rides to?" Blaine asked, head tilting.
"I need to go clean my car seats." Wes said, heading for the door.
"Does she really have it?" Blaine asked AJ once the door closed.
"I wouldn't lie about that." AJ said. "They didn't do the deed yet, did they?"
Blaine shrugged, nose scrunched up.
AJ plopped on the couch by him, glancing at his phone. "New high score?"
"Oh yeah! I've beat last night's twice now." Blaine explained.
"Are you… switching between two games?" She asked.
"Mhm. Three, actually." Blaine nodded and then exclaimed, "WOO! Take that, green diamonds of doom!"
"So what kind of dance are you and Wes going to?" AJ asked curiously.
"A charity one to raise money for Alzheimer's." Blaine didn't glance up.
"Are you two going together?"
"He's going stag but I'm taking this girl Ashleigh." Blaine said, still not even glancing at her. "She's in a lot of my classes and was heading to Ohio anyway, so we're taking her in our car and she's going to go with me to the dance."
"Oh."
"Maybe you can go with Wes." Blaine teased, glancing up.
"No thank you." AJ forced a laugh.
"Blainers, dude, I need you!" Wes called from the kitchen.
"I'm not helping you clean your car seats! Yeah right!" Blaine called.
"Just get in here!" Wes snapped.
"Be back later." Blaine sighed and put his phone down, heading out of the room.
"Could you be any more oblivious?" Wes asked in a hushed whisper once Blaine made it into the kitchen.
"What?"
"She was clearly trying to get you to invite her as your date." Wes informed him. "It was classic. Did you hear the instant change in her tone as you crushed her dreams?"
"Uh… there wasn't a tone change. And I didn't crush her dreams."
"Blaine, I'll say this as bluntly as I can. She still thinks you are straight. She likes you. She wants the D."
"The—oh. No she doesn't. I mean, she thinks I'm attractive but she doesn't like me." Blaine said.
"This is Thad all over. Why does she want to sit and talk to you about what games you're playing on your phone?" Wes said, dragging Blaine outside and to his car. "Tell her you're gay."
"She has to have figured it out on her own."
"No. She hasn't." Wes said. "You tell her or get Adrian to casually mention it to her. It's going to get worse."
Blaine laughed. "I'm not telling her I'm gay."
"You don't know girls, Blaine. Trust me. Wasn't she even hanging out in your room last night?"
"I was organizing my books and we'd been talking about music before, so…" Blaine shook his head. "No. You're trying to get in my head."
"No, Blaine. I'm trying to help you out here before you have this hot girl thinking you're straight and falling in love with you. Then you'll feel bad." Wes said. "So put an end to it now."
"It was only a conversation!"
"But you made it worse saying the girl we're taking is just a classmate heading there anyway. That was almost as if saying, 'Hey, I would have invited you because you're hot but I asked her first. Sorry.'" Wes said.
"Hot? Since when do you think she's hot? You said she was a plain Jane." Blaine scoffed.
"Fine. Don't listen. Go back into Oblivious Blaine Land." Wes said, completely ignoring the plain Jane comment.
"I don't understand why you and David think everyone likes me. Thad loooooved me, Kurt looooved me, and now AJ? We've only known each other a month. We're getting to know each other. She's nice."
Wes banged his head on his car window. "Fine. You're the girl expert, clearly."
"Well clearly I can't have girl friends or boy friends because I send the wrong messages, so I'm gonna go become a pineapple or something." Blaine headed into the house, pretty sure Wes called him Spongebob as he walked away.
***LTC***
"I have a problem."
"What's that?" Kurt asked as soon as he reached Alec, who was sitting on a bench outside of Parsons and waiting for him. They had been to the campus many times together over the last few weeks because it was half way between their houses and, besides, they liked it on campus. Spending time there would help with their adjustment in the fall.
"First of all, Eric's mother keeps calling me and asking me to take their last name. Which I cannot pronounce let alone spell." Alec said. "Second of all, the Sims."
"The Sims?" Kurt asked. "As in… the game?"
"Yes, as in the game. Eric created a new family and not only is addicted but he made him and me. We've got all these pets and one of our children is a clown and the other one looks like a murderer and to make matters worse, he drowned me and now I'm a Zombie." Alec sat next to him.
Kurt threw his head back, laughing.
"It's not funny! I feel like I have to watch myself around him and running water!" Alec exclaimed. "And to make it worse, we had a baby but Sims CPS took it away."
Kurt bent, laughing into his knees.
"This is him inadvertently telling me he doesn't want kids."
"I don't think you should want kids with him." Kurt gasped.
"His mom is on about that too! Like I can raise a kid! I'm 21!" Alec groaned. "She keeps calling Eric but asking to talk to me and goes on and on about the wedding and last names and kids and moving home. Sorry but no."
"Just elope and get it over with… and make him take your last name."
"He's going to have to because I'm not having a last name I can't say."
"Are you exaggerating?"
"No. His dad is Greek, so it's really long and doesn't sound like its spelled." Alex explained. "And we talked about eloping next year. Cheaper but more drama. I think both of our parents would murder us."
"That's too funny." Kurt laughed.
"You're in a good mood."
"I had breakfast with Rachel and Mercedes before I came. It was fun. I got caught up on all the drama… which there is apparently a lot of but 'none that tops you and Blaine breaking up.'" Kurt quoted, "Which is sad considering that happened in April and it's the beginning of July."
"You know girls. They love their gay boys." Alec laughed.
"It kind of stinks because I won't be thinking about it and then they'll bring it up." Kurt admitted. "I'm trying to give Blaine time and not think about it until we're to a point where we can talk about it. There's nothing I can do now, you know? It just makes me sad to think about it all the time."
"So you're not thinking about it at all? This time last week you were beating yourself up."
"I'm fine during the day when I'm busy. At night, not so much." Kurt bit his lip.
"But better is good." Alec smiled. He looked behind them, at Parsons. "It's kind of terrifyingly big."
"CCAD seemed big at first too." Kurt reminded him.
"I guess you're right." Alec said.
"And we found our classes and stuff. There isn't that to stress about."
"It's weird to be here." Alec said. "Honestly, I was afraid the professors at CCAD would tell me that I wasn't cut out for it. And I was one of the top students."
"I had to work hard to keep up with you." Kurt confessed, staring at the building as well.
"God, you hated me." Alec laughed. "I bet you still do. Keep your friends close, enemies closer."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I didn't hate you… Okay, maybe a bit."
"I'm glad we got partnered together." Alec said. "And I'm really glad we'll both be at Parsons together."
"I'm glad too." Kurt smiled.
"So what do I need to wear to this charity Gobbler Ball or whatever?"
"Warbler." Kurt laughed. "And you need to dress nicely. It's a prep school event."
"Ah." Alec nodded once. "I can do that. I'm kind of excited to do something. My life hasn't been too exciting since we got here."
"Why don't you go around?"
"Every time I do, I get lost and Eric has to find me." Alec groaned. "He's saying they need to get a tracking anklet on me in case I lose my phone."
"Eric is funny." Kurt shook his head.
"He tries." Alec rolled his eyes.
"How is living together? Officially, I mean?"
"Apart from the fact that I have suspicions he's going to try to drown me, it's good." Alec said. "We keep bickering over bathroom space."
"Blaine and I had to get separate shelving things because we kept getting angry with each other. We would put our stuff in front every time we—."
"Yeah. Yeah." Alec didn't even let him finish. "Us too. Separate shelving units, huh?"
"It was expensive but it was also worth it. I mean, Blaine's a neat freak and I don't just throw my stuff in there. It has a spot. It's not as organized as he'd like it, so he'd keep trying to—."
"Fix it." Alec finished. "But we don't have that problem in the bathroom. It's the kitchen. He puts peanut butter, bread, and cookies in the fridge. Who the hell puts that in a fridge?"
"I caught Blaine eating frozen French fries like five times. I don't know what to expect from people when it comes to food anymore." Kurt shrugged.
"Frozen?"
"I mean, I hope he let them thaw a bit but I hardly doubt it. His stomach is a black hole." Kurt snorted a bit and then gave a sad smile.
"Eric has completely normal eating habits… sticks to the food guide pyramid to the T almost." Alec said. "I, however, do not."
Kurt laughed. "You don't at all."
Alec laughed also and looked around them again. "We're definitely not in Ohio anymore."
"You used to live in LA, though. You'll adjust quicker than me." Kurt pointed out.
"LA is completely different." Alec said. "Completely."
"Completely what?"
Alec jumped, turning to see Eric behind the bench they were sitting on.
"Creeper!" Alec said, reaching and punching his arm.
"We were just waiting to see if any drug deals would go down." Kurt informed Eric.
"That sounds exciting but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen in front of a campus in broad daylight." Eric pointed out, bending down and loudly kissing the top of Alec's head.
"My hair." Alec grunted.
"He talking about how he's sick of me already?" Eric teased.
"That and how he's afraid you're going to drown him."
"I told you it was an accident." Eric looked to Kurt. "I sold the door because I needed money to buy a new coffee maker and—."
"This just makes it sound worse!" Alec said. "Oh my God."
"I have needs and coffee is one of the big ones. I'm sorry that some sacrifices had to be made."
"I'M A ZOMBIE!"
Kurt couldn't help but laugh.
"It's a game, Alec." Eric said.
"Yeah well I'm starting to think you might have homicidal tendencies." Alec huffed.
"Wanna come over for dinner tonight, Kurt?" Eric asked, wrapping his arms around Alec.
"I hope that means you're cooking." Alec said, patting Eric's left arm absent-mindedly.
"You ate the microwavable food. I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Eric teased. "What do you say, Kurt?"
"Please oh please." Alec begged. "You have to come. You had breakfast with your friends, have dinner with us."
"Okay." Kurt smiled.
"Well come on, youngsters." Eric gently tugged Alec up by the hand. "Let us go eat."
***LTC***
"I am so sorry, Kurt. Eric has been throwing up for seven hours straight. There's no way I can leave with you tonight to go to that thing."
Kurt, who was nearly ready to leave for Ohio several days later, frowned. Honestly, he was mostly frowning because Eric was sick as opposed to it being because Kurt would now have to go to the ball alone.
"He keeps trying to get me to go but I just got him to sleep, his fever is 102.7 and I can't leave him."
"No, no, it's okay. You should be with him." Kurt said, mentally debating not going to the charity ball at all. Then again… his family was already expecting to see him before the ball. He couldn't bail on them because he didn't want to run into Blaine alone.
"I'm so sorry. I really am. I feel horrible. Look, you should just stay in New York. Hang out with your brother or something." Alec suggested.
"I'm still going to go. I want to go to Ohio to see family anyway." Kurt responded. "But really, don't worry about it. Are you going to take him to the…"
"Doctor." Alec snorted. "He's on some medicine already but it's not quite kicked in. I think—Babe, did you—I gotta go, Kurt. Sorry! I'll text you later!"
Kurt looked at his phone as Alec abruptly hung up. He then tapped out a text (Everything okay?) before facing his packed bag.
If he hadn't wanted to go to this ball before, he really didn't now.
***LTC***
A glimpse.
That was all Kurt had seen of Blaine in the hour and a half that he'd been at the Warbler Ball. He had walked across a hall, laughing with Thad and some girl that Kurt assumed was Thad's date. He was pretty sure Blaine hadn't even seen him.
Coming to the ball hadn't been that bad, really. He had been a little worried that everyone would be rude to him or avoid him entirely. Many people, however, had come up to him and had entire conversations.
Still, he wished he were here with Blaine. That people were making comments about how they knew they'd last, not looking shocked when Kurt said they weren't there together. He wished that Blaine would even say hello, look his way, something. He could only figure Blaine was avoiding him because everyone else he'd run into three times.
"It must be hard to be here without Blaine."
Kurt spun around, only to come face to face with… Derek? But… What?
"And he brought a girl. She's kind of pretty, I guess, but I always thought he liked dick." Derek shrugged his shoulder. "Anyway, how are you?"
Kurt stared at him, struggling to understand what was happening. Why was Derek in Westerville? At a Dalton Academy charity ball? He knew for a fact that Derek hadn't gone to Dalton, much less been a Warbler.
"You don't look very excited to see me. I'm hurt." Derek said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "What do you say we ditch this joint? I mean how many people have said hello to Blaine versus how many said hello to you?"
"All of the Warblers said hello to me actually." Kurt responded coolly. "All of them except—."
"The one with dark hair who keeps glowering at you?" Derek snorted. "Let me guess. He liked Blaine and you got him. I mean, I have to give you credit. Blaine's very attractive."
"Why are you here?" Kurt snapped. "I'm not playing games with you, Derek. Did you follow me here?"
"Don't flatter yourself, Kurt. I was invited here the same as you." Derek smirked.
"Why are you here?" Kurt repeated.
"Shouldn't you be more focused on the fact that I'm the only one who has probably said more than five words to you all night?" Derek's smirk only grew.
"That isn't true." Kurt said irritably.
"Come on. Let's ditch this place. Grab my hand and we'll walk out. Can you imagine what it would do to Blaine?"
Kurt turned, walking away from him. Derek wasn't worth the annoyance he caused. Kurt wanted to leave anyway.
Derek followed him out into the hall. "You can't honestly be pining over him. He's clearly got daddy problems. It'd be too much of an effort to get anything out of the guy. He went states away for school to get away from you. I'm right here."
"You're going to California for your grad degree." Kurt deadpanned.
"I'm not looking for anything long-term. And maybe a few romps in the sheets would—."
"How do you know Blaine?" Kurt demanded.
"Excuse me?"
"I never told you about Blaine's family and you said those things to him. How do you know him? Why are you at this ball? Are you doing this to get at him or me?"
"My father is a member of the Dalton Academy committee." Derek responded. "He is also a judge. He works very closely with senator candidate Barbara Anderson. As for why I'm here, well… Mainly to get at him since his dad offered me a bit of a reward for my troubles… But if I get a nice piece of ass like yours out of the whole thing, well… who doesn't like bonuses?"
Kurt clenched his fist.
"When I was on your Facebook and saw this Blaine that you dated looked exactly like a younger version of Barbara's son… well, you don't need a law degree to add two plus two and get four." Derek continued. "So I was visiting my father one day when dear old Blaine's dad was visiting Barbara and we had a chat about his old ways, you know? Funnily enough, as soon as he found out that I wanted you… he got to talking really fast. I probably know a few things about your ex that you don't. All because Blaine's daddy doesn't like him having a boyfriend."
"You are a pitiful excuse for a human being!" Kurt exclaimed, angry tears stinging in his eyes. This was his fault. The irony of Blaine making his Facebook private, yet someone with connections seeing Blaine on his?
And his father.
Blaine's father.
"The funny thing is when Blaine and I were 12, 13, even 14 we sat together at like five galas. Guess he was too depressed to even notice me back then. That or he's too stupid to recognize me no—."
There was a loud smack as Kurt's hand collided with his cheek.
"You little turtle faced pansy!" Derek yelled, pushing Kurt against a wall and raising his hand to punch him.
"Get off of him!"
Kurt's eyes widened in shock when Wes pulled Derek off of him.
"Do you have a problem?" Wes demanded, voice angrier than Kurt had ever heard it.
"This isn't your business." Derek spat.
Wes gestured for Kurt to move and then pushed Derek into the wall. "Actually when you have my friend pinned up against a wall, it becomes my business. Don't even get me started on what I just heard you say about Blaine because, dick, you do not want to go there. The last time someone messed with Blaine in front of me, he ended up in the hospital with an arm broken in three pieces."
Kurt got a sliver of personal satisfaction when he saw fear flash through Derek's eyes. He then looked over, seeing Blaine and the girl he was with walk out of the dance hall. Blaine's eyes zoomed in on them and he walked up without a word to the girl.
"What's going on? Why is he here?"
"Tell Blaine you're sorry." Wes said, holding Derek into place.
"Bite me."
"I said tell him you're sorry." Wes hissed.
"I'll tell your father you said hello." Derek sneered.
"Are you two here together?" Blaine asked Kurt. "Is that really—Are you and—."
"Blaine, shut up." Wes said, briefly looking at Blaine. He then looked back to Derek. "Scat or I'll make you."
"Getting in your pants isn't worth this." Derek sneered in Kurt's direction and stalked out of the hallway.
"What did you say my name for? Apologize for what?" Blaine asked.
"For Christmas break." Wes lied. "Go on."
"Come on." The girl with Blaine said, tugging his arm a bit. "Let's go back and dance."
"Fine." Blaine sent Kurt a look—which was really more confused than anything—and then let his date lead him back into the dance hall, half laughing at something she said.
"You okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Wes asked Kurt, surveying him.
"No, I'm fine." Kurt said, looking back at Wes. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Wes gave Kurt a sad smile. "I've meant to text you actually. To see how you're doing. I've been busy though. We had a roommate move in and then we went to Canada and… How are you?"
"Great." Kurt said before shaking his head. "Not great."
"You didn't come with that asshole did you?" Wes asked.
"No. I came alone… although now I'm wishing I hadn't come at all." Kurt admitted.
Wes gave a forced smile. "He comes back and messes with you again, you come find me and I'll take care of it."
"Thanks, Wes." Kurt said.
"See you around." Wes forced a second smile before heading back into the dance hall
Stay a few more minutes, wait and see how much money Dalton raised, and then go. If you leave before that, it'll be obvious why you're leaving.
Kurt didn't want to stay, though. He was pissed.
Blaine's parents had gotten to Blaine through him. This was his fault, all because Derek wanted in Kurt's pants.
Their break up was inevitable. He knew that. However, he also knew that Derek had played a huge role in the catalyst that set it off. Maybe if the Derek thing hadn't happened… Maybe it would have been more bearable. Maybe Kurt wouldn't have gone off the edge. Then again, life couldn't be based off of maybes. It was and it wasn't as simple as that.
He made his way back into the dance hall. At first, he didn't see Blaine, Wes, or David. He saw Thad dancing with some girl although neither of them looked like they wanted to be there. Jeff and Nick were in a corner, making out with hands groping everything that wasn't inappropriate enough to have the police called on them (not that anyone would have, but Kurt had to give them props for holding back). It wasn't until he had sat down with a drink that he saw Blaine. Blaine and his date, the girl.
Because, now that Derek wasn't preoccupying his thoughts, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Blaine had brought a girl. Blaine was in the middle of the dance floor, dancing comfortably and happily with a girl. A girl with blond hair, blue eyes, a gorgeous purple dress, and breasts. Breasts and a vagina. She was a girl. All pressed up again Blaine. His Blaine.
Was he trying to make Kurt jealous or angry? Was he trying to be straight? Was the girl his date or his date? Maybe she was technically Wes' date but… no, Wes was flirting with some girl in a corner.
Blaine had seriously brought a girl as his date. They were talking quietly, swaying—close but not too close, thank God. And then it happened. The girl leaned in, lips parting, and kissed Blaine.
Kurt's jaw dropped. He didn't wait for Blaine's reaction. He didn't want to see it.
He stood and ran out of the dance hall. Let people talk. Kurt had to get out of this goddamn place. Why had he come in the first place? The second Alec bailed he should have backed out but no. He'd be fine. Bull-fucking-shit he'd be fine.
Fine? Going into a place that worshipped Blaine? He was lucky Derek was the only guy who had tried to punch him so far.
"You had to make a scene!"
Kurt spun, seeing Blaine running up behind him.
"You just had to!" Blaine looked furious.
"You brought a girl?" Kurt asked.
"That's what you say? You brought a girl?" Blaine laughed. "This is great. Now everyone in there is going to think I did something wrong because you're running out here like you aren't the one who broke up with me! This is great!"
"Don't play the victim. Haven't you been playing the victim long enough?" Kurt snapped.
If possible, Blaine's face looked more furious than it had seconds before. Kurt was really on a roll.
"I'm playing the victim?" Blaine questioned. "Yet someone kisses me and you flee the room like you were left at the altar! You left me!"
"Stop acting like you played no part in this!" Kurt shrieked.
"I can't do this. I can't believe you're seriously acting this way right now." Blaine shook his head.
"You're the one that followed me out here." Kurt lowered his voice as a few Warblers came out of the building. "Can't we just be civil?"
Blaine let out a hollow laugh. "I don't want to be civil with you, Kurt. I don't even want to talk to you."
"Then why did you follow me out here?"
Blaine didn't speak. Honestly, he didn't know what to say. Maybe it was just a gut reaction, running after Kurt to comfort him. Mostly it was a mistake.
"I don't want to be this way forever." Kurt swallowed.
"You're standing in here like you care or something and, frankly, it's insulting."
"I do care!" Kurt's voice rose.
"If you cared, you wouldn't have done this to me!" Blaine narrowed his eyes.
"Would you stop and think of things you did to contribute to this? To the outside world maybe you can pull off this picture perfect version of yourself but, Blaine, I know you better than that!" Kurt exclaimed, trying to keep his voice quiet enough that they couldn't be heard.
"Anything I did is nowhere near as bad as you pulling the plug." Blaine snapped.
"Just think about the things you're saying!" Kurt exclaimed. "There isn't only one victim in this break up, Blaine, and it's time you figured that out so maybe we can move on from this!"
"I don't want to move on from this, Kurt!"
"Why? Why won't you talk to me?"
"Why should I want to?"
"Because I am trying to show you how sorry I am." Kurt bit his lip. "Blaine, I overreacted. I'm sorry. You know I am. I never intended to break up with you."
"You're lying. That just doesn't slip out!"
"Please, just—just listen to me! Ever since you left for Harvard you haven't been listening! I am tired of trying to be heard!" Kurt exclaimed. "Blaine, I'm so sorry. I … All I want is to fix this and… and I know I can't. I know that I can't flip a switch and we get back together, or even be friends, but—but Blaine, I'm trying! I'm trying to fix this or at least get us in the right direction. I just—I need you to help. If we could talk—."
"It hurts too much." Blaine looked away, voice not sounding angry. Instead, he just sounded defeated. "It hurts too much to see you or hear you. Every time I look you in the eyes, my heart breaks all over again."
"I'm so sorry." Kurt's voice cracked.
"I know I had fault in it too, Kurt. I do know that. You keep saying I don't and I do but I—I don't want to think about it. I don't want to talk about it or anything. I want to be happy and being around you breaks my heart. You're hurting me."
"What can I do to fix it? What can I say? Are we ever going to be able to get back to how we were?"
"You don't get it! You just don't get it, Kurt!"
"Then explain it to me! For once, explain something to me instead of letting it build up and explode!"
"I shouldn't have to explain to you why I can't talk to you! If you knew me as well as you claim to, you should know!"
"Humor me then."
"I can't talk to you because, until April, I thought you were the love of my life." Blaine snapped. "You have been a huge part of my life since I was seventeen years old, we fought so hard to get to where we were and I didn't want to throw that away! I have—I had four good things in my life, Kurt. Wes, David, Harvard… and you."
Kurt stared at him.
"And you ripped one away from me. One of the four things I had. You didn't fucking give me a chance to fix anything! And I had no say in it! Just gone!"
Kurt didn't look away, although he wanted to. He could see Blaine's anger escalating quickly.
"I feel so stupid for trusting you. You hurt me worse than my family. Because with them, I knew it was coming. But I trusted you, Kurt, and you're gone. You were one of the three people I thought I would always have and you…Not only you… Everyone throws me away like I'm trash! I never meant to hurt you by going to Harvard! I just want to feel like I'm worth more than the trash everyone thinks I am."
"Please don't say that." Tears filled Kurt's eyes.
"You're not here anymore. It's like I was waiting for this person to swoop in and make everything okay. To make me feel like I'm not worthless. All of my life I've heard how I should have been aborted, how I'd never be anything, and I am trying so hard to prove my parents—my dad—wrong! Honest to God, Kurt, Harvard had nothing to do with hurting you! It has everything to do with my parents! It has everything to do with the fact that it's one of the few things I have that nobody can take away!"
Kurt didn't speak.
"And I'm the top student in my year." Blaine let out a hollow laugh. "But it's like I can't enjoy it because of you. Constantly hurt, mad, fighting, upset. Then making up and two weeks later we're back to fighting again and half the time. Then in April you basically gave me two options—my school that I love or my love—and then you didn't even make it a choice for me! You chose! I know I don't have much but can't I even make my own goddamn decisions? And can't you at least be supportive? The whole time you were supportive, you really weren't."
"Don't say that!"
"Why not? It's the fucking truth! You'd say these supportive things to me but go and talk to other people about how hard it was on you. You even told me you weren't happy that I left, Kurt. You—Like we talked about last time—you saw it as something I did to you, to us. When it had nothing to do with you. All I wanted was support. But instead, you took yourself out of my life. Everyone takes it upon themselves to remove themselves from my life and I hate you so much!" Blaine covered his face. "I hate you, I hate you. I really hate you."
"Don't say that, Blaine."
"You said you'd be there forever and you left me. You left me. You made promises and you didn't keep them. I wanted you to be my forever and now we're nothing."
"I thought you were going to propose before law school and instead, you move thirteen hours away. Can you understand why… why I would…" Kurt paused, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. "Blaine, you threw this on me. You know that I want you to be happy."
"Kind of like when you threw the commitment card at me?"
"Don't even. I'm almost twenty-two, Blaine. We got together when I was seventeen." Kurt argued. "Before we talked about houses with red doors, kids, and stuff. Lately I mention anything and suddenly you might want to be married by thirty. What the hell? Then I break up with you and you freaking pull out a Tiffany's ring like you were going to propose?"
Blaine scowled.
"You didn't want to marry me. You wanted to shut me up." Kurt accused. "Right?"
"Wrong." Blaine snapped. "I felt cornered into it. Not that it mattered because you broke up with me anyway."
"I didn't want you to feel cornered. I wanted you to want to propose to me!"
"Did you want an engagement or a marriage?" Blaine questioned.
"Don't even—." Kurt took a step back.
"What would a ring on your finger matter? Either way, we'd still be living apart. We had the option of traveling like we did to UK and CCAD once you moved to New York City, Kurt, and you're the one who went to live with Quinn!"
"You never brought it up!"
"When did I have time to bring it up between your hissy fits about getting married and about cancelled plans?"
Kurt threw his hands into the air, letting out a growl of frustration.
"I have to get back to Ashleigh." Blaine said, scowl not leaving his face.
"Yeah. Don't keep your girlfriend waiting." Kurt scoffed.
"It is none of your business who I bring with me to anything, Kurt."
"Like it wasn't your business if I brought Derek?" Kurt snapped. "And, do you really think I would do something like that? Really?"
"I don't know. You've been full of a lot of surprises lately." Blaine retorted,
"Kind of like you trying to play the straight card?"
"I'm not playing the straight card." Blaine said through gritted teeth.
"You're making out with a girl in front of half the Warblers. What else could that be?" Kurt shrieked.
"It's none of your damn business who I kiss, see, date, or even have sex with. So move on with your own life and stay the hell out of mine." Blaine turned, heading back towards Dalton.
"Blaine, don't go! Please!" Kurt called, going after him.
"I am done arguing with you, Kurt." Blaine said, not even glancing at Kurt.
Kurt watched him grip the handle to the door, pulling the door open.
Blaine turned, an unreadable expression on his face. He then walked through the doorway, not looking back. He wasn't sure what he felt—upset, sadness, anger, maybe even relief. It didn't take long to decide, though.
"Anything you'd like me to tell your dad when I talk to him?"
Blaine turned slowly, seeing Derek leaning against the hallway wall. Evidently Wes hadn't run him off as much as they'd thought. It had taken everything in him to not seek Derek out and punch him after Wes had revealed the conversation he'd overheard between he and Kurt. Now, after arguing with Kurt, he wasn't sure he had it in him to walk away.
In fact.
Blaine didn't want to walk away.
He'd had enough.
"No." Blaine mustered the most cheerful voice he could, walking over. "I do have something I'd like to tell you, though."
"What's that?" Derek smirked.
Blaine raised his fist, punching Derek straight in the nose. "If you ever mess with Kurt again, I'll ruin you. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, and don't keep playing your little game. Because unlike anyone else who has ever been anywhere near your STD ridden dick, Kurt has morals."
Derek launched forward. "Coming from someone who lost his virginity in a conversion camp and had sex with a preacher's son the next summer?"
"Don't lay your hands on me. It's not the night." Blaine said, voice low.
"You two are fucking crazy. You deserve each other!" Derek raised his hand as though he was going to punch Blaine. He blinked a few times, as if debating, before side stepping Blaine and walking away.
Blaine waited until Derek was out of sight before rubbing his hand and whimpering, "Ow. That really hurt."
***LTC***
"How was last night?"
Kurt had avoided coming downstairs the morning after his argument with Blaine for this very reason. He knew the question was coming and he really didn't want to have to answer it. He looked at his father and then grunted a bit.
"That bad, eh?" Burt questioned, looking disappointed.
"The parts that didn't involve Blaine were bearable." Kurt poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the table, feeling very odd back at home and in the kitchen with his dad. It was almost like he was sixteen or seventeen again, not nearly twenty-one and some semblance of independent.
"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine!" Melody toddled in. "Call Blaine, Kurt! Call Blaine!"
"Blaine's busy at school." Burt said before Kurt could even speak.
"Call Blaine please?" Melody questioned, pulling herself onto Kurt's lap with some great skill for a toddler.
"We'll try to call him on Monday." Carole said as she came into the kitchen. She walked to Kurt, ruffling his hair. "Did you have fun last night?"
"The most pleasant part of the evening with smacking someone. Other than that, it was uneventful."
"You smacked him?" Burt stared at Kurt in disbelief.
"Not B-L-A-I-N-E." Kurt said.
"Smacking is not nice." Carole said, voice geared at Melody. "We learned that yesterday, didn't we? Burt, your children are violent."
"Did you two talk at all?"
"Burt…" Carole shook her head. "If Kurt wants to talk about it, he will."
"We talked. It didn't end well." Kurt responded, voice emotionless. "I'm going to leave it be. If he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch."
"Oh, sweetie." Carole frowned as Melody walked out of the kitchen.
"It's okay. The arguing is actually kind of… good. We need to say this stuff. Maybe once everything is said and done, we can work on fixing the relationship… or at least becoming friends… It's the situation we're in now. But I think he still loves me and I know I still love him.
"At least you two are fighting through these things." Carole said.
"There's no way Blaine doesn't still love you." Burt added gruffly. "He was going to propose."
"He wasn't going to propose. And if he was going to, it was only because he felt cornered." Kurt said shortly.
"All I'm saying is, it'll work out. Eventually."
"I'm sorry. I know you had high hopes of us both walking in this morning."
"Yes, well, it was unrealistic." Burt admitted. "I want you happy, kid."
"I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. I've been going back and forth since the breakup, though. Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm sad. I'm starting to feel a little bipolar." Kurt sighed. "I was really upset last night but… I can't keep doing this to myself. It is what it is and it will remain this way until he makes a move to talk to me. I'm not going to try anymore. He can come to me if he wants. And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy New York and school and the internship once school starts up."
Carole smiled. "I think that's a good attitude to have, hon. I know this break up is hard but you've wanted to go to New York since I've met you."
"He's wanted to go since he was four." Burt pointed at Kurt, a proud grin spreading across his face. "And he made it. My boy made it to New York. I must've done somethin' right with this one."
Kurt smiled a bit.
"Enjoy New York while you can. Enjoy being young while you can. It really does pass by so quickly… and you deserve to enjoy this." Carole continued. "You worked very hard to get to where you are today. Don't let anything ruin it for you."
"I won't." Kurt promised. "If you want to let Melody call him, it's fine. I don't care. I can go in the other room."
"We usually call on Mondays. It's his lightest school day." Carole said. "And we don't call him every week."
"Does she… ask about him a lot?"
"No." Burt shook his head. "She doesn't a whole lot but once she hears his name, she'll want to talk to him."
Kurt nodded. "Do you two… talk to him?"
"He and I talk about twice a week, but sometimes less." Carole said.
"He texts me." Burt confessed. "We don't talk about a whole lot though. How he's doin', school, that type of thing."
"Is he… doing okay?"
"He seems to be just fine." Carole nodded.
"Good." Kurt let out a small sigh.
"Alright, hon. Would you like some sausage and eggs for breakfast?" Carole squeezed his shoulder.
"I can make myself some food." Kurt moved to stand.
"Ah ah ah. The good thing about coming home is having people wait on you hand and foot." Carole gave him a bright smile. "Eggs and sausage?"
"Oh. Sure." Kurt smiled. "Thanks, Carole."
"You're very welcome, sweetie." Carole beamed.
"So, kiddo. Tell me about New York. Your aunts driving you crazy yet?"
***LTC***
"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TOOK HER!" Adrian, who was sitting inside of one of Harvard's libraries with Blaine, banged the palm of his hand on a table.
Blaine nudged him as the librarian stood, clearly coming over to yell at them.
"Sorry!" Adrian loudly whispered and then lowered his voice. "We're the only ones even in here. She's probably waiting for us to leave so she can live in a world of silent solitude forever."
Blaine snorted loudly as the librarian sat back down.
"Seriously, though. I cannot stand how annoying girls think they can kiss a guy and turn him straight. She's pretty but she's no Natalie Portman." Adrian scoffed. "What did you say?"
"Well Kurt caused a scene so I ran after him."
Adrian's eyes widened.
"Then we fought and then we all left. Ashleigh and I didn't talk about the kiss. I had other things on my mind." Blaine sighed. "I guess we need to."
"Time to pull on your big boy pants and pull the Band Aid off. Tell her she's pretty, blah blah blah, but you'd rather have relations with members of your own sex." Adrian said. "And don't feel bad about it. She knows your gay and still kissed you. She should feel bad. I hate girls like that. They get rude if some straight guy walks up to them in a bar and kisses them spontaneously but they think they're can just to try to turn guys straight with their lips and their breasts? Ugh."
"Has this happened to you before?"
"No but it annoys me. Double standards." Adrian huffed. "I am, however, glad I was right. I like to be right."
Blaine laughed bit.
"Speaking of being in the right…" Adrian, who had slouched down, straightened himself out. "You've gotta talk to AJ."
"Why?"
"Because she thinks you're straight and she likes you. It's not my place to tell her you're gay." Adrian shrugged. "I don't want her to get hurt. She's a good person. You should talk to her now and save her some embarrassment."
"She really thinks I'm straight? I blast musicals in my room all the time. I listen to Taylor Swift."
Adrian cringed. "No. No. That girl needed to stop making music back in 2012 when her music started to suck more than it did in the beginning. I don't care if you need a break up soundtrack. Listen to freaking Katy Perry."
"I happen to love Katy Perry but every time I listen to her, I want to sit in the bathtub, in my pajamas, with a tub of ice cream, and cry." Blaine frowned.
"Kurt thing?"
"Something like that." Blaine groaned. "What am I supposed to say? Do I have to?"
"I mean, I can't make you. But I wish her crush would end. She keeps trying to get me to agree that you're 'precious' and 'adorable.' It's a good thing she didn't see you before your growth spurt."
"Growth spurt?" Blaine questioned.
"You're at least an inch and a half taller now. Probably two inches." Adrian laughed.
"When did this happen?" Blaine jumped up, glancing down at his jeans. Normally that pair dragged the ground but now they… fit.
"I don't know. I noticed it about a month ago."
"That's why it was so much easier when I changed my light bulb…" Blaine thought out loud. "Usually I have to get Wes to help and—why are you laughing?"
"You have got to tell AJ because you keep saying and doing adorable things. It's only going to end poorly for her."
"I'll just quit being adorable around her."
"I don't see how you could turn it off." Adrian shook his head.
"Are you saying I'm adorable?" Blaine questioned, eyebrow arching.
"As someone who has a date with someone tonight that isn't you, yes. You are adorable. You say these funny things, you're oblivious at an alarming rate, you're just… adorable." Adrian shrugged.
"Another date?"
"Sort of. Gary's new boyfriend has a friend. I don't know, he's cute on Facebook but we know how that goes." Adrian said before taking a drink from his Coke when the librarian was looking the other way. "So, you're going to talk to her?"
"I guess. I don't really see her a lot. But the next time it seems fit to tell her, I will." Blaine promised.
"Good." Adrian took another drink of his Coke, this time not even bothering to check to make sure the librarian was looking. He then sighed. "I guess I should go."
"Alright." Blaine nodded, watching as he stood up.
"Sorry the charity thing sucked for you." Adrian put his messenger bag over his shoulder.
Blaine shrugged one shoulder. "Sorry you're going on a blind date."
"Not as sorry as I am." Adrian laughed. "See you tomorrow at the internship?"
"Yep. Be safe tonight."
"Got my mace." Adrian jiggled his key chain and flashed a grin. "Bye, Blaine."
"Bye." Blaine looked down at his book when Adrian left, biting his lip.
"Blaine?"
Blaine looked back up, turning in his seat to face Ashleigh.
"Hey…" She looked hesitant. "Can I sit with you?"
"Sure." Blaine moved his bag.
"It might be a tad bit sad you're at the library during summer." Ashleigh teased. "But I guess that's why you're the top student in our year."
"Internship work." Blaine explained, laying his bag over his lap.
"I actually wanted to apologize." Ashleigh took the seat Adrian had sat in. "I shouldn't have kissed you."
"Oh." Blaine looked shocked.
"It's hard being twenty-two and still without that one true love, you know?" She asked. "I know you're gay and I should have respected that. I heard you broke up with your boyfriend though, and I guess I just thought I would try… But I've felt extremely guilty ever since it happened. I would like to say that I am very sorry for… for kissing you. And I hope it won't jeopardize any work… or friendship… we may have in the future."
"Well thanks. No hard feelings." Blaine promised, giving her a small smile.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Blaine nodded. "But… it won't happen. Ever. I'm gold-star gay. I haven't been with a girl and I don't ever plan to be with a girl. It's not that I don't like girls—Actually, I don't really get along with girls that well, to be entirely honest. I get along with you but… I'm not interested. I like guys and that's just who I am."
"I know." She gave him a small smile back. "You forgive me?"
"As long as you don't try to kiss me again, of course." Blaine's smile grew. "No harm, no foul."
"Hey, I'm sorry about your boyfriend. That time when we met for coffee with Adrian… it sounded like you really…"
Blaine frowned.
"God, I didn't mean to bring it up like that. Or to upset you. This is probably why you don't like girls, isn't it?" Ashleigh asked.
"It's fine." Blaine bit the inside of his cheek.
"I hope everything works out. I'll see you around." Ashleigh stood, looking at him. "And next year, you better bring it. I'm going for Valedictorian."
"Consider it brought." Blaine said, waving as she walked out. He looked around before banging his head on the table. On the one hand, at least Ashleigh had brought the kiss up to him and he didn't have to worry about that awkwardness. On the other hand, however, he still had to find some way to casually slip in that he was gay to AJ. All while reading up on information to help him during his internship, trying to keep his mind off of being twenty-two and alone, and managing to train his new puppy—which, for the record, had not been going well. There was a reason Kurt had trained Kreacher and that was the fact that Blaine was clearly inept.
What a summer it was turning out to be.
***LTC***
From: AndeBl4
To: KurtHummel
Time: 10:46 pm EST
Date: 18 July 2015
Kurt,
I've been thinking a lot about everything between us and there are things I'd like to say to you but not over an email, a phone, or a computer. I'm not ready to talk yet but I'm hoping that in two weeks you'll agree to meet me half way between Cambridge and NYC. I can do it any day the week of August 1-7th because the office I intern for is closed that week for renovation. If you can't meet any day that week, let me know and we'll try to figure something out.
Also, Ashleigh was my date to the dance but we're not actually dating. She was going to Northern Ohio last week anyway so it was convenient. I don't know why you'd care, though.