I am back! Man, what a week has been!
But you don't care about it, do you? You just want to know what the last flashback might mean?
Well, time to find out.
His neck was stiff and sore, forced as it was in that uncomfortable position.
His mouth and throat were dry as the desert, he could have killed for a sip of fresh water.
His head was pounding and he could clearly feel the familiar sign of a painful cramp about to seize the whole of his right hand.
He was sweating profusely and could't do much about it, unable to move or speak.
He was stuck, trapped and with no way out. He had to do something, anything.
He had to get out of that phone call before he would completely lose his mind.
It had been going on for more than one hour- Nearly two! Cal groaned as he noticed the timer on the screen hitting 1 hr 47 minutes, then sighed loudly into the muted microphone and slumped back on the chair. How could anybody talk for so long without needing a break or pinch to stay awake?! Cal was the kind of person somewhat enamoured with his own voice, provided that he had something smart to say, but how could someone talk for so long without realising there was such a thing as too much?
Yeah yeah, it was an important call. The Group had been hired to help the Attorney General office to support a consumer protection case against a big corporation, a classic case of dodgy management turning a blind eye to safety and environment for the sake of saving some bucks. It was going to be a big case, possibly re-writing legal literature in the matter, and the DC Attorney General wanted to get it right, meaning they needed the group to help with jury selection and vetting witnesses and experts. All good and grand, too bad that the lawyer on the other side of the call seemed to think they had to decide everything right that moment even though the case was still weeks away from entering any kind of active phase.
He had drawn the short straw for that, partly because Gillian had also thought there was no need for her to be involved at that early stage. While he was stuck on the phone with "Mr McPreppy", she was supposedly going through training and induction with two of the new interns they had recently hired. Normally he'd stayed away from that cumbersome occupation and avoided it like the plague, but he had really thought he was getting the best end of the bargain. She owes me, Cal thought then, moaning frustrated when his interlocutor once again mentioned the importance of vetting experts on both sides. She owes me big time!
With that thought, Cal's mind easily drifted away to some of the ways in which Gillian could pay him back, which was why he was beyond distracted when the man on the other side of the line seemed to be ready to finally end the conversation. It was almost too good to be true, and Cal urged to agree that yes, they should definitely wait to get the test results on the contaminants found in the soil before taking the conversation any further.
When he was finally able to hang up the phone, Cal felt spent. It was late in the afternoon and he felt as if the second half of his working day had been swallowed by that one call, not to say wasted. The only consolation was that he was now closer to the end of day, and considering the plans ahead he felt more than entitled to be lazy for the remainder of the day. Emily had been home for a couple of days, and she had teamed up with Gillian to drag him out for an evening of dinner and movies. He obviously was all for it even though he was ready to put money on them taking him to see some sappy romantic comedy, but the prospect of spending a long evening with his two favourite ladies was always more than welcome.
But first thing first there was a series of far more basic needs he needed to take care of. Bathroom, definitely since his bladder was about to burst, then about a gallon of water and possibly a light snack to silence the food craving. With the short yet effective list printed in his mind, Cal finally got up from his chair and walked towards the door of his office, then opened it and stepped outside in the corridor. That was when he made a last minute change to his list and turned left instead of right, wanting to check out Gillian's office to see if she was done and that if so perhaps they could get out of there a little earlier. But she wasn't in her office so he figured she was still busy, then he reverted back to his original plan.
Walking down the corridor, Cal spotted Anna ahead of him and trotted after her, stopping her before she could turn the corner.
"Dr Lightman, I haven't seen you in hours! I thought you were out with Loker."
"I wish!" He quipped with a smirk. "Just got stuck in the longest and most boring phone call ever."
"The Attorney General case?" Cal nodded, absently rubbing his beard. "Aw, poor you!"
Cal grinned, he had always liked how she seemed to have zero filter and even less reverence for him. There was respect, that was important, but it was refreshing to have someone like her around.
"Tell me about it! But it's all done now, so if you tell me where Foster is I'd be happy to share the burden."
"She was just in the lobby five minutes ago. A man came looking for you and she offered to talk to him since you were busy." It was a simple and harmless explanation, but then her face changed as if something had just occurred to her and she looked at him with a strange curiosity. "Come to think of it, he looks a bit like you. Certainly has the accent-"
Cal was gone before Anna could finish, both the sentence within her mouth and the thought in her head. Not only was he gone, he nearly ran away from her and straight to the main entrance, cutting the corner and bumping into people with no regard for the impact. His eyes were pointed straight ahead, so when he turned the last corner the first thing he saw was Gillian, with her back to him and hallway and somewhat shielding the man she was talking to from his view. She wasn't doing it on purpose, and might as well because Anna's notes and the small glimpse of the older individual Cal caught as he approached were all he needed.
In just a few fast paced steps he was caught up with them, just in time to hear Gillian telling the man that he should leave. She was calm and - God she always amazed him! - she sounded ridiculously polite. For a brief second Cal thought she didn't know who the man was, but judging by the way she was subtly pushing him back towards the exit he had a feeling that she did. How could she not? The man standing in front of her was Cal's near spitting image, safe for the missing beard, a couple of more decades and a generous amount of grey hair sprinkled on top of his head.
"Sir, I really think you should leave. We-"
"What are you doing here?"
Gillian bit at her lip when Cal's aggressive voice boomed in her ear, and she briefly closed her eyes as she took in a quick breath. She couldn't blame him of course, but she had really hoped she could take care of that without him knowing about it. She had been nearly there, close to convincing the visitor that Cal wasn't there and that leaving was the best choice, but Cal's sudden arrival quickly wiped away all of her progress. The older man had been one step away from recoiling and giving up, but the second he saw Cal his face seemed to lighten up with hope and renewed expectations.
"Look at you!" He seemed genuinely happy to see Cal, which didn't sit well neither with him nor Gillian. "Not a wee lad anymore, are you boy."
If he noticed how less than happy to see him Cal was, the man clearly didn't show. He looked at Cal with a smile, confusing and somewhat irritating Gillian for that obvious lack of ability to read the situation. She looked at Cal, who looked tense like a violin chord about to snap, then she glanced around at the people who had stopped to watch the scene.
"You really need to leave now," she said then, trying to put herself between Cal and his visitor for everybody's sake.
"You said he wasn't here, sweetheart. It's not very polite to lie to older people."
"Sir-"
"Don't you dare talk to her like that!" Cal hissed, stepping in front of Gillian and pushing her aside. She saw his face, red with tension and frustration, she saw a controlled fear in his eyes and more than anything she saw the rage in his flaring nostrils and clenched fists. "You don't get to talk to anybody like that, not here."
"Alright lad, no worries." He took a step back, raising his hands slightly, then he looked at Gillian with a fake smile. "I'm sorry sweetheart, aye? I just need to-"
"What in the bloody hell are you doing here?" Cal roared again, advancing threateningly and gaining confidence with every step at the way the man retreated. "What makes you think you even have the right to come here?"
"Now boy, why don't you calm down? I just want to catch up with my son-"
Not that either Cal or Gillian were paying attention to it, but the silent audience let out a collective gasp of surprise. Yes, pretty much everybody had already come to the same conclusion between the looks and the accent, but it was still quite the revelation to hear out loud.
"That's not how it works, mate," Cal aggressively cut him off, inching closer.
Gillian saw him clench his right fist and cock his hand back as if ready to strike and stepped forward, gently putting her hand on his arm. He froze and looked back at her, the only thing worthy focusing on really, and her steady gaze seemed to make him snap out of it for a moment as he relaxed a little. Then he gave her a small nod and turned toward his father - if the man in front of him could be called as such - calmer on the outside but still close to boiling point on the inside.
"Get out," he instructed then, happy with the way his voice sounded, steady and authoritarian. "Get out of here now."
"C'mon now, lad. All I want to do is talk." His father stepped forward, either completely delusional or blind to the hostile vibe all around him. "Don't you think it's time we sort things out-"
The succession of events was quick, leaving no doubt as to where everyone stood.
Lightman Senior stretched his arm as he spoke, probably going for a friendly gesture and looking to make contact with his son, but the moment his fingers touched Cal's shoulder he found himself on the ground with a bloody nose. Gillian immediately jumped forward to get hold of Cal before he could go down and hit the man again, while Torres and the closest staffers urged to get to the man on the floor, not so much to help him but to silently make it clear he'd better stay where he was.
With her hands seized tightly around Cal's upper body, trying to keep him back, Gillian could feel how badly he was shivering and how his body temperature had suddenly dropped. When she looked at him, at the way he was staring down his father daring him to make another move, she didn't fail to notice how his whole demeanour had changed internally despite looking pretty much the same on the outside. He had been mad, fearful but that in the same way a trapped animal would fight tooth and nail to save itself; now he was just scared, in an irrational way that made his fear only deeper and more terrifying, for himself and for her.
Lightman Senior groaned as he tried to get up from the floor, finding a human barrier denying him access to his son, but didn't give any real sign of backing up as he wiped some blood off of his face. Cal stared at him, honestly admiring the damage he had been able to inflict with just one punch, but as the man didn't seem to be that bothered he suddenly lost his confidence. That was when he became aware of Gillian's hands holding him, of the people staring at him and of the whole situation…and that was when whatever had been keeping him together up until that moment just crumbled away.
Just as quickly as it had all happened, him arriving on the scene, trying to get his father to leave and breaking the man's nose, Cal took a step back and left. Retreated was the better word, but given the situation anybody who would have noticed would have easily cut him some slack. The same way he had paced the hallway to get to the lobby, like a racehorse with blinders on, Cal left and walked away, leaving a scene of silent chaos behind.
Gillian had to fight the urge to go after him, knowing there were other things to take care of first. Then she turned around to look at his father, finding that she didn't know what to make of the man's expression and overall attitude, and deciding that it probably wasn't worth her time nor her skills.
"I think you should leave now," she said then, no longer polite and accommodating. "We're going to call the police if you don't. Or if you come back."
The man stared back at her with a surprised face so genuine that Gillian really didn't know what to make of it. It would have been easier, perhaps, if he had been openly confrontational, mocking her threat or dismissing what had just happened as an inconsiderate reaction. But he did none of that, maybe in part because when he looked around he saw about a dozen sets of eyes silently telling him he should take the hint and leave while he could.
Gillian waited for him to do so, keeping her eyes on him until he was well out of the door, then she asked Torres to make sure he left the premises and to inform the building's security that they were going to get a picture of a man who was to be kept away. The implication was that someone had to go through the tapes and capture said images, but she knew she didn't need to explain that part when she saw Loker nod back at her and make his quick way to the lab. As the boss there were probably other things she was supposed to say, like everybody could go back to work and could someone please clean the smear of blood from the floor and door handle: but as the girlfriend, as what she felt more than anything at that moment, all she wanted to do was to go and find Cal.
She left then, less in a haste then Cal but still clearly communicating she wasn't to be stopped, and marched straight to his office. She closed the door behind her once inside even before looking for him in the room, and when she didn't see him she went straight for the library. That was where she found him, sitting on the floor in a corner, legs bent and bracing his knees tight, breathing erratically and with a thin film of cold sweat on his face. Her primal instinct was to rush to him and hold him, but as a psychologist she knew he was having a panic attack and that it had been going on for a while already. So she approached him slowly, sitting next to him without saying a word and trying not to look at him too much but just throwing brief glances his way to try and assess him.
He wasn't crying, it wasn't the kind of emotion such an encounter would elicit, but he was still in a fragile state and even though Gillian knew the reason for it she didn't quite know what to do for him at that moment. So she waited, ready to break her own resolve if his breathing didn't go back to normal soon, sitting shoulder to shoulder and hoping the silence of the room around them could help him. Eventually, slowly, Cal's breathing did go back to a less frightening pace, opting for longer and deeper intake of air. That started changing everything, little by little: he stopped bracing his legs and looked up, even looked at her for a brief moment as if realising she was there only then, and Gillian could see his skin fading to a healthier and natural colour.
Gillian was glad he was recovering but still didn't move, knowing all future moves were up to him. She didn't have to wait long, and was extremely relieved when Cal slowly let go of himself and Gillian felt him lean on her a bit. That was her cue, but she still moved slowly and carefully when she shifted closer to him and wrapped her arm around him. Cal immediately abandoned himself to her gentle touch and leaned on her, finding comfort in the safe cocoon her body provided, soaking in the protective sensation until he felt ready.
"20 years," he whispered then. "20 something years I haven't seen the man, maybe more… It took 5 minutes with him and I lost it."
Gillian didn't say anything, although she did want him to know that he hadn't lost anything in her eyes. Sure, she had tried to shield him from the sudden visit and get the man out, but as far as she was concerned his reaction was more than justified. And maybe, she realised, that was what he needed to hear after all.
"I sent him away," she informed him then, as a start. "Loker is getting his picture from the feed, we are going to give that to the building's security and make sure he doesn;t come back." Cal pulled back a little, looking at her with confused surprise, but she shrugged. "Why? You didn't expect me to tell you that you should have listened to him, did you?"
It was clear by Cal's face that yes, he somehow had. She was the expert in that sort of thing, more than him, and as a human being she was definitely more prone to dialogue rather than violence. He hadn't thought for a second to give the old man the chance to speak to him, but he did find oddly surprisingly that an emphatic and kind person like Gillian was on the same page.
She smiled bitterly at his confusion, then switched things around in their physical comfort stance and laid down on the floor resting her head on his lap. Cal was taken aback, both because he didn't expect her to do that and because despite the change of position he still felt the waves of soothing comfort coming from her proximity. Then he looked down at her, finding her smile wider and serene staring right back at him as she brought one hand to his chin to gently brush his beard. She had developed a way to do so that was incredibly calming to him and, Cal suspected, thoroughly enjoyable for her too.
"You are right Cal, he has no right to show up here and just expect to be able to talk to you," she said then. "I can't think of anything he would have to say that you could possibly be interested in hearing."
Once again, Cal was baffled by how easily she was taking his side. Not that he had had much time to think about it rationally, but during those short flashes or lucidity he had really thought that Gillian would advise him to hear the man out, if anything for closure and to get rid of him. He had not expected that, how fiercely and unquestionably she was protecting him by recognising that nothing good would come out of that confrontation. Not that it was a surprise, but she got him like nobody else ever had or ever would, and for a moment the power of her love for him made his breath skip again, although for very different reasons.
Unable to put together a coherent thought, afraid that anything he could say would ruin the perfect moment she had created out of nothing, Cal just looked down at her and gently caressed her face. It was then, after a while, that they both seemed to remember he had just punched someone and that his hand needed tending. Gillian held it gently, studying the bruised and bloodied knuckles, then she kissed them softly and slowly got up while still holding his injured hand. Cal followed, shocked by how calm and steady on his legs he felt despite everything, all thanks to her. Then he followed her in the main office and sat on the couch, waiting for her to come back to him with a glass of bourbon and the small first aid kit he kept in his office, then she sat on the table in front of him.
She didn't say anything while she cleaned up the superficial wound, and Cal sat there absently sipping his drink and wondering about the marvel the woman was. Not only she totally got his point and shared his feelings, not only she was there playing nurse and offering free booze to boot; she had tried to prevent all of that, to deal with it herself and keep him out of it, and she had already taken steps to prevent that from happening again while he had cowered away in his office having a mental breakdown like the scared child who used to let that man beat him around.
Lucky son of a bitch didn't even come close to describing how he felt for being with Gillian.
When she was done with his hand Gillian had just about the time to close the first aid kit and turn around that he was all over her, his face inches away from her for a second before he closed in to kiss her. It was a kiss charged with all his pain and sadness, and also with his gratitude for her, a kiss that could have gone on for hours without leading to anything else. It wasn't about lust, not about desire if not the human one to connect and be heard, be felt. Cal brought his now mended hand up to her face and stroked it gently, sending his tongue deep inside her mouth while Gillian leaned closer, her hands resting on his thighs and gripping gently trying to give back some of that meaningful contact. When Cal pulled back he was smiling, realising the recent events had been easily erased by such follow up, then he kissed her again and this time Gillian moved to the couch next to him when they broke apart again.
"Why don't we stay in tonight?" She suggested then, absently combing his hair with her hand. "I can cook while you laze on the couch with a drink, we eat and then you drink some more."
"Sounds marvellous," Cal whispered, closing his eyes to enjoy her simple touch while his own hand wandered on her leg. "But I don't want to change our plans because of him. I let him get to me enough already, and I don't want him to affect you and Emily."
Gillian wondered if he had any idea of how powerful his words were, but looking at the way he relaxed, leaning back with his head to accompany her touch with his eyes closed, she concluded that he likely didn't. Sometimes she wished he did, that Cal would really grasp how much he could impact their relationship with things he thought were unimportant but that were indeed precious. But then, like at that moment, she thought that maybe if he had known how much weight those things had he'd probably be more parsimonious with them.
Then she leaned forward and kissed his temple, then the corner of his mouth as his lips turned upwards in a soft smile, whispering 'I love you' as she pulled back slowly.
"Let's go home then," she said then. "I don't know about you but I've had enough for today."
To say that Cal agreed would have been an understatement and he stood up right after her without hesitation, going over his desk to get his coat and then accompanying her to retrieve her things from her office. He watched her going through the motion, switching off her computer, gathering her things and putting her own coat on, then he stood in front of her and snuck an arm around her waist, pulling her closer for another one of those loving kisses, needing to feel that type of connection with her once more, more than anything else.
As for the previous chapter, I went with my own take on the info we had on the show. It was never stated that Cal's father was dead. so I went with him being alive