Author's note: It seems like I'm always apologizing lately for taking so long with updates, but this year has been one thing after another and it's only half over. My sweet little kitty, Luna had to have surgery to remove a ruptured cyst from her chest. It's been a stressful time, but Luna is five days post-surgery now and she seems to be on the mend, so hopefully things are looking up. I finished up this chapter and edited it with my sweet little furbaby sleeping on the couch next to me…until the noise from the fireworks scared her away.

The Space Between Us
Chapter 15 – Starting Over

Who the fuck was he kidding? There was no way Richie was going to be able to 'sleep on' anything as long as he was in this room by himself. Just in the last few days, he'd become so dependent on Eddie sharing the bed with him, and now it honestly felt too big, and empty, and scary for him to be in by himself. He couldn't even bring himself to lie down, couldn't let himself be alone in such a prone and vulnerable position.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes darted to the large windows that looked out over the backyard, to the dark grass and the blackened sky beyond. He kept thinking about everything that was out there that he couldn't see – people who weren't welcome standing out there and watching him. Waiting until he was completely defenseless to attack him. Even though there were police officers stationed at the front of the house, there were so many things that could happen before they were alerted to any trouble. So many things.

Richie, however, had no one to blame but himself. That very morning, he had more or less told Eddie that he could go back to his 'own' room (which really wasn't even Eddie's room, was it?). Now, Richie had left Eddie out in the living room, because he needed some time to try and process everything by himself. He felt like he needed that and he thought he had a right to be upset.

So very much had happened in the course of an hour, Richie could barely even comprehend it. He and Eddie were married. Married. He had married the fucking man of his dreams and he wasn't going crazy. All those urges he had to touch and be close to Eddie was normal, because Eddie was his husband. Richie wasn't alone in his feelings, and that was probably the biggest and hardest thing he had to wrap his mind around.

"My husband," Richie said aloud, because maybe that would make it seem more real to him. He tugged off his glasses, rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, and stared up at the ceiling in confusion. He had so many questions.

Richie assumed that it had happened after they battled Pennywise for the second time, but he couldn't quite grasp how. Had he been the first one to say something? He rather doubted it, because he didn't think he had even come out yet at that point. Not to mention, he was sort of a coward when it came to revealing those deepest, darkest parts of himself. It took every single part of himself to be honest with Eddie about his feelings now, let alone before he'd even had the courage to be truthful about his sexuality.

So had Eddie come to him first? Did he just say the words or did he do something more demonstrative like taking Richie in his arms and kissing him? How did Richie react? Did he melt into Eddie's arms like he was going home? Did he kiss him back so feverishly like he'd always wanted to do for his entire life? Or did he kiss Eddie so tenderly like he might disappear as if he was a beautiful dream in the cold light of day if he kissed him too hard?

Letting his glasses dangle from his fingertips, Richie pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, like that would help him to remember everything. Like that would magically make those forgotten images spring into life in his mind. He knew they were there. It was like he could feel them lurking in the darkest recesses of his mind, hiding just out of reach, and it was maddening. Infuriating to think that those memories had been stolen from him and he might never get them back.

When Richie dropped his hands back to his lap, his eyes fell upon the collection of pictures on top of the dresser. Richie had seen them since he had come home of course, but this was the first time he really stopped and took time to examine them. Maybe because it was a little bit painful to be reminded of so many happy memories that he had forgotten, like they were mocking him. Or maybe Richie was terrified of what he might remember, despite the fact that he craved it at the same time. Despite the fact that Richie just wanted to be normal again.

Even though nothing Richie had ever done in his life had been normal.

The pictures were of himself and Eddie on various trips they had taken – one at the Santa Monica Pier, one at the Golden Gate Bridge, and one from a body of water that Richie thought he recognized as Clear Lake in California. The crystalline blue water spread out behind them in the last picture, and it was almost impossible to tell where the sky began, almost seeming to fuse into one gradient of blue. The only clues that the sky was dipping down toward the horizon was the thin line of mountains seeming to rise out of the water and the fluffy white clouds floating blissfully above them.

Richie had an arm slung around Eddie's shoulders, a huge shit-eating grin on his face. Just like in their wedding photo (and that was such a mind-blowing thing to think about – their wedding photo). Eddie, meanwhile, had one arm snaked around Richie's waist. Eddie's other hand was near his shoulder, his fingers intertwined with Richie's tightly. For the first time (at least since he had been injured), Richie just noticed the silver rings on their left hands where they were joined together, glittering brightly in the sunshine. They weren't even that noticeable in the picture – just tiny little silver reflections – but now that Richie had seen them, they were impossible to ignore.

The truth had been right in front of Richie this entire time and he hadn't even noticed it. Hell, those two rings had been on Eddie's left hand since he had woken up in the hospital, and Richie had never even realized. Realized what they meant, what they stood for, what they symbolized. Jesus, how on earth had he been so blind? Maybe Richie just hadn't been ready for the truth yet, but was he now? Was he ready to confront everything he had forgotten? Everything that had been forced out of his brain on that moment of impact?

Richie almost wanted to look away from the picture, but he couldn't. It held his gaze, claimed his attention like a magnet, just as Eddie had done for his entire life. And unbeknownst to Richie, just like he apparently did to Eddie. The two of them were inexplicably drawn to each other. Had been forever, and Richie wasn't alone in that.

Eddie actually shared in his feelings. And not just shared in them, but loved him so much that he had married Richie. They were married. The man of his dreams had married him.

"I actually got the guy," Richie whispered. He let out a laugh of disbelief, but then the sound somehow morphed into a sob. A sob that hit him out of nowhere, that he hadn't seen coming. Richie hiccupped loudly before pressing the back of his hand over his mouth. He could feel his bottom lip shaking impossibly hard against it, could feel the burning sensation exploding to life in his eyes. Before he knew it, tears were springing to life there and a moment later, they were falling down his cheeks.

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten so much. That he had forgotten his husband. It was always his dream to marry Eddie, and he had forgotten it. He had forgotten what were very clearly so many happy memories between them, and that thought hurt perhaps more than any other. Maybe even more than the fact that Eddie had lied to him.

Richie tried very hard to think about how Eddie must have been feeling in all of this, and Richie supposed he couldn't really blame him. Despite the fact that Eddie said he didn't have any negative feelings towards Richie for forgetting their entire relationship, Richie couldn't help but wonder if that was entirely true. Richie thought he would be at least a little bit hurt and disappointed if he found himself in Eddie's shoes. With all of that taken into account, then Richie almost thought he could see why Eddie had lied. Was it because he was upset with Richie for forgetting so much about them?

Although Eddie insisted that wasn't the case, that he was only trying to protect Richie in all of this. Richie thought he could see where Eddie was coming from. Again, if the situation was reversed, then wouldn't Richie be doing everything in his power to protect Eddie from further hurt? The answer was always yes; Richie would unfailingly do whatever it took to protect his friends, most of all Eddie. If Richie thought he could save Eddie from some heartache, then Richie supposed he would have lied too.

At the same time, however, it still hurt that Eddie had lied to him. That the one person he trusted most in the world had deceived him. Richie tried so hard to give Eddie the benefit of the doubt, but he couldn't quite accept the fact that the perfect bubble of their friendship and relationship had been shattered. Never again could Eddie claim that he had never lied to Richie, because it just wasn't true anymore. And that hurt so much.

His eyes still flooded with tears, Richie glanced back up at the photograph of himself and Eddie at Clear Lake. He couldn't see it clearly anymore through the tears coupled with his own horrible eyesight, but all at once, he didn't need to. His brain was suddenly supplying what his eyes couldn't, was making up for his blurry vision.

At first, it felt like it was coming to him from the other end of a long tunnel. It sounded so very echoey and far away and it was nothing but a mass and swirl of colors at first. Richie squeezed his eyes shut against the sensation before everything came into stunning focus for him.

"But why did we come all the way to a lake if you're not going to let me swim?" Richie asked around a pout. The sun was high in the sky, beating down all around them, throwing glistening diamonds across the clear blue water. It looked so warm and inviting.

"Jesus Christ, Rich," Eddie snapped. "For the same reason why I wouldn't let you swim in the quarry that last time after defeating Pennywise. That water was gross and while this lake isn't quite that bad-" he gestured out over the water, "-it isn't safe either. I told you there were dangerous levels of cyanobacteria and mercury deposits here. You can't actually want to swim in this."

"Why not?" Richie asked, blinking in confusion. "We used to swim in that fucking quarry until the cows came home in the summer and we never died or developed any serious infections."

"And that had to be by extreme luck!" Eddie cried, waving his arms. "When I think about the literal shit we submerged ourselves in-" Eddie was cut off by a gagging sound, pressing his hand over his mouth. "I can't believe I let you guys talk me into that."

"Well, this is only mercury and…whatever the hell kind of bacteria you said," Richie said. They were standing at a small clearing, the trees forming a protective barrier around them from prying eyes. Richie came up behind Eddie, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his nose into Eddie's hair. "Like you said, that was literal shit. Isn't that kind of worse?"

"It's cyanobacteria, but there is no 'worse' here!" Eddie exclaimed, playfully elbowing Richie in the ribs. "You are not swimming in this! I am not letting my husband get mercury or cyanobacteria poisoning! Do you have any idea what could happen to you between the two?!"

"No idea." Richie tightened his arms around Eddie's waist and kissed the back of his neck. "You're just going to have to keep me otherwise occupied."

"Oh my god! I am not having sex with you to keep you out of the water!" Eddie scoffed at him and then laughed out loud, his tone suggesting that Richie might be driving him to insanity. "We are in public!"

"Well, then…" Richie said before releasing his hold on Eddie. He stepped around Eddie and started heading towards the water before Eddie grabbed his hand and abruptly pulled him back.

"You are not swimming." Eddie's eyes were narrowed and his current tone left little room for argument.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

Eddie tugged him even closer, his free hand clutching the front of Richie's t-shirt. "I said sex was off the table in public. I didn't say anything about…other stuff." He let his hand drift down to Richie's belt, pulling his husband flush against him.

Richie immediately groaned when he felt Eddie's growing excitement against his own crotch.

"Remember our last time at the quarry in Derry?" Eddie asked, staring up at his husband through his eyelashes. "Just kissing you was enough to keep you out of the water."

"Mm," Richie hummed in response, his free arm snaking around Eddie's waist again. "That was the first time you kissed me though. You might have to step up your game now."

Eddie's eyebrows went up and his mouth dropped open. "Are you saying my kisses aren't enough to distract you anymore? They always used to be." It was Eddie's turn to pout, his bottom lip sticking out just a little bit and his eyes going wide in that way that Richie couldn't resist.

Richie grinned and leaned forward to kiss that beautiful pouty lip. He pulled away momentarily and said, "Maybe I was wrong." He leaned back in, Eddie's arms reaching up around his neck and pulling him closer. Richie kissed him again, and suddenly, swimming was the very the last thing on his mind.

"The quarry," Richie said, blinking his eyes rapidly. His breathing was coming hard and fast now, because damnit, it was there. That memory that he wanted so badly to remember – when he and Eddie had first gotten together – was hovering just outside of his realm of consciousness. It almost felt like he could reach out a grab it, but it kept escaping him, like he was trying to capture smoke in his bare hands.

"The first time he kissed me was at the quarry. The fucking quarry." Richie dug the heels of his hands into his eyes again before pushing his hair back from his face. His hands curled into his locks out of frustration, like that would help him to grab onto that memory that eluded him. "The first time he kissed me was at the quarry. The last time we were there. It happened the last time we were there."

Replacing his glasses on his nose, Richie turned around on the bed, staring at the closed door that led to the hallway. All at once, he wanted Eddie there, wanted Eddie to tell him about that moment so that he could remember. That was all he wanted to do, just remember. Remember that one simple moment, and he couldn't. And he didn't know why that one memory felt so important to him, but it almost felt like a dam that was somehow keeping everything else about their relationship blocked off.

All at once, Richie got up from the bed, quickly skirted around the mattress, and flung the door open. It banged against the wall as he went, something that Eddie would surely freak out over, but Richie couldn't bring himself to care. He hurried down the hall to the living room, needing Eddie to talk to him before that memory was torn from his grasp completely, lost to the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind.

As soon as he got to the living room, however, Richie froze in the doorway. Just over the back of the couch, Richie could see that Eddie had curled up there, almost in a fetal position. The rise and fall of his chest was deep and even, signaling that Eddie had fallen asleep, leaving Richie to wonder just how long it had been since he had left Eddie there. Or perhaps Eddie was simply so exhausted from everything, it hadn't taken him very long to drift off at all.

Richie slowed his steps, coming around the couch so that Eddie was in full view. His eyes were slightly red and puffy, evidence that Eddie had been crying before he had fallen sleep. Eddie. His Eddie, the fingers of his left hand clutching at the pillow below his head. Those rings still sat there, on his ring and index fingers, the faint moonlight from the windows hitting them just right.

Sinking down onto the coffee table, Richie brought his own left hand up, using his right thumb to rub against his ring finger. At that area where his ring should have been.

He knew it.

It was now a very vague memory, lost in the toll of his recovery, but Richie recalled a moment in the hospital where he had been rubbing at that same area. Staring at it and feeling like something was missing. And he had just chalked it up to the fact that he wasn't sure what was going on at the time. To the fact that he had been having such a difficult time even understanding what was happening to him.

His and Eddie's wedding picture was still sitting next to him on the coffee table, so Richie picked it up. He set it down in his lap, once again letting his eyes drift over every single area of the picture, trying to commit it to memory. From the bright orange ball of sun reflecting off the water behind them, to the way their rings once again glimmered in the light, to the way their fingers entwined together.

Running his fingers over the rings in the picture, Richie sighed, desperately wishing with all his might that he could just remember. It was only now occurring to him just how bizarre it was to see pictures of himself taken not so very long ago, and to have absolutely no recollection of posing for them.

Richie's eyes drifted back up to Eddie, to the very real rings on his fingers, and Richie wanted nothing more than to reach out for them. To run his own fingers over them like the very texture of the diamonds set into the platinum bands might spur something in his mind. He wanted that weight, that presence back on his finger, thinking that it might make him feel grounded in some way. But he held back, afraid of waking Eddie from his slumber, afraid that his touch wouldn't even be welcome at this point.

"I'm sorry, Eds," Richie said, even though he wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for. Perhaps for forgetting his husband. For the way things now felt so very distant and fractured between them and probably would for a long time. For the way Richie couldn't even be called a 'husband' any longer.

And here was his Eddie, sticking by Richie's side no matter what life threw at them. Eddie should be able to depend on his husband to give him strength during times like this, and Richie couldn't even provide that. Richie couldn't even imagine how Eddie must be feeling, having lost his husband and still having to remain strong for the both of them.

Eddie was visibly trying, and Richie had gotten mad at him. Richie still thought he had a reason to be, but maybe he should have tried harder to see things from Eddie's point of view. Richie knew they still had so very much to work out, but Richie wished he hadn't been so quick to let Eddie believe that things might be irretrievably broken between them.

Richie certainly didn't want that. Eddie was the fucking love of his life, and he wasn't about to give up on the relationship that he'd wanted all his life. Not for this. Hopefully, Eddie would still be open to the idea of trying to work this out and talk things over.

While Richie remained very hurt and disappointed that Eddie had felt the need to lie to him at all, Richie didn't think that their relationship was over. At least, he hoped it wasn't. Richie had just let his anger get the best of him and had said some things he didn't mean. In the end, Richie supposed he had made the right decision in ending their conversation there and then, and he rather doubted that they were in the right place to pick it back up so quickly. Nor was Richie ready to awake Eddie from what seemed to be a pretty peaceful slumber, so Richie would wait and give them both of them the space they so very clearly needed.

Almost without even thinking about it, Richie lifted his wedding picture up from his lap and pulled it protectively against his chest, just as Eddie had done not so very long ago. Richie got up from the coffee table, but paused, his eyes once again falling on Eddie's prone form.

Eddie shifted in his sleep, and for a moment, Richie thought he was about to wake up. Then Eddie shivered before stilling once again.

Richie leaned over, grabbing the blanket on the back of the couch with his free hand. He gently pulled it until it fell on top of Eddie in a heap. Richie paused, hoping that the movement hadn't disturbed Eddie. When Eddie didn't move again, Richie carefully unfolded the blanket, spreading it out over his husband.

Eddie curled up more tightly under the fleece material, one of his hands clutching at the fabric. As Richie tiptoed around the couch to return to his bedroom, he just missed the smile that formed on Eddie's lips.

Eddie wasn't sure how long he had been asleep; it was still dark outside, but he suspected it had been quite a while. He turned over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, groaning quietly at the way his muscles screamed in pain. He really needed to stop sleeping on the couch.

It was then that Eddie realized that someone had covered him up with the fleece blanket from the back of the couch during the course of the night. He grasped at the edge of the blanket, warm fuzzies seeming to erupt in his chest at the thought that Richie had apparently come to check on him. Maybe he had even felt ready to talk things through, only to find Eddie had fallen asleep. Was that too much to wish for?

Just then, Eddie noticed out of the corner of his eye that something was missing from the coffee table. Something that had just been there before he had fallen asleep. For some reason, that got him moving. Eddie sat up, the fleece blanket pooling in his lap as he went. He stretched out his fingers towards the table, towards the space where Richie had left their wedding picture, but it was no longer there.

"Richie?" Eddie asked aloud to the empty room. There was no response right away, but then Eddie suspected he knew what had aroused him from his slumber. Eddie thought he heard the very faintest moaning emanating from the bedroom. It was hard to hear with the door closed, but now that Eddie had noticed it, it was impossible to ignore.

"Rich?" Eddie asked again when he got to the bedroom door, pushing it open slightly.

The overhead light was still on in the room, something that Richie couldn't bear to close his eyes without. The light was reflecting against the windows and throwing the tiniest bit of light onto the lawn just on the other side of the glass. Richie was curled up into a tight ball on his side, their wedding portrait laying next to him on top of the covers. Richie's fingers were splayed across the glass of the frame, like he had fallen asleep that way – hoping to be able to absorb some of those lost memories in his sleep.

Richie kept moaning, his eyebrows knitting together furiously. It almost looked and sounded like he might be having another nightmare, although this one was nowhere near as violent as some of his others had been. Maybe it was even bordering on a more unpleasant dream rather than a full-blown nightmare. Eddie hoped so, because he hated seeing Richie struggle just to get some rest; he'd had enough nightmares to last him a lifetime by now, and that wasn't just counting the ones that happened in his sleep.

Eddie bit at his bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to wake Richie, but he hesitated. He knew Richie still had some rather strong feelings about what Eddie had done, so Eddie wasn't even sure that he would want Eddie to try and comfort him right now. Eddie, however, couldn't bear to leave Richie in any sort of distress.

Stepping forward quietly, Eddie carefully dropped down onto the very edge of the mattress. He took care not to jostle the mattress too much, deciding not to stir Richie from his sleep unless he absolutely had to. Eddie didn't bother trying to get under the covers, but simply turned towards Richie, lying down just on the other side of their wedding portrait.

Eddie let his hand come to rest on the glass of the picture frame as well, wanting so badly to take Richie's hand in his. Still, he didn't know if something as simple as his touch would be welcome. He stretched out his fingers, keeping them just out of reach of Richie's.

A moment later, Richie groans died down and he seemed to drift off into a deeper and dreamless sleep then.

Richie had really tried this time. More and more, he was coming to realize just how much he was drawn to Eddie like a magnet. There was no other way to describe it, and it had been that way ever since they had been children. The clown aside, it was why they had found their way back to each other at all. Even if Mike hadn't called them back to Derry, Richie and Eddie had both agreed that they would have reconnected again at some point. They would have found themselves giving into their feelings for each other eventually too. It was inevitable. They were inevitable, just like the ebb and flow of the ocean waters. Just like the sun was destined to set every evening with the moon rising in its place.

Richie hadn't even realized that Eddie had gotten into bed with him, but sometime during the course of the night, he had moved ever closer to his husband in his sleep. The edge of their wedding portrait was pushing uncomfortably into Richie's chest, but that hadn't seemed to bother him in the least. His hand had come to settle on Eddie's hip, his fingers clenching ever so slightly around the fabric of the jeans he had worn to bed. Meanwhile, Eddie's arm was resting on top of Richie's, his fingers curving around the back of Richie's elbow, as if holding it in place.

His first instinct was to pull away, but all at once, Richie seemed to change his mind. He was past the point of having to force himself to stop touching his husband, wasn't he? Yes, a part of him was still angry about everything that happened, but it didn't change the fact that they were married. Eddie had never shied away from touching him since Richie had woken up in the hospital, and now he knew why. It wasn't because Eddie felt sorry for him or pitied him, but because Eddie was in love with him, and that gave a whole new meaning to everything that had transpired between them since the attack.

So why should Richie ignore those same urges? Why should he deny himself something that he now knew he and Eddie both wanted? The fact that things were rocky between them at the moment didn't change the history they shared and it certainly didn't negate their marriage. Not in the least.

Just then, it was like Eddie had heard, had sensed Richie's very thoughts. He jerked awake, his eyes going wide at the position he found himself in. Like he and Richie had been caught making love somewhere inappropriate or something else just as scandalous. Eddie sucked in a breath, lifting his hand from Richie's arm.

"Don't," Richie said quietly, squeezing Eddie's hip ever so slightly. "Don't go."

Eddie's hand hovered over his arm, as if he wasn't quite sure what to do with it at first. "Are…are you sure it's okay?" Eddie asked, his hand still hanging awkwardly in the air above Richie's own.

"Positive," Richie reiterated, his fingers curling a little more tightly around Eddie's hip. "If you're okay with it."

A gentle smile broke out over Eddie's lips just before he let his arm settle back into place over Richie's. "Yeah," Eddie replied, his thumb brushing against Richie's bicep.

Richie's heart abruptly pounded against his ribs at the thought that he was lying in bed with his husband. With the man of his dreams. This was something that Richie had wanted all his life, and he fucking had it. He and Eddie were together and that thought alone was dizzying. In fact, Richie almost thought that the swirling sensation in his head was due to his injuries, but at that moment, he knew it wasn't; it was because he now knew the truth.

At the same time, however, they still had so much to talk about and work through. They were so very far away from where they had been – at least, that was what Richie assumed – and things weren't going to get any better if they didn't try and fix them. A part of Richie wanted to hide from it, wanted to run away from it just like he had done with everything his entire life, but this was Eddie. This was the man that he had wanted all his life, and Richie wasn't about to give up on this without a fight.

"Listen," Richie whispered, his eyes going to down to the wedding picture still stuck between them. "I'm sorry if I said anything last night that…upset you." There was so much more Richie wanted to say, but his heart felt like it had wedged itself in his throat. He swallowed hard, trying desperately to force the feeling away.

Eddie shook his head against the pillow, his normally neat hair in a clump against the cushion. It was like Eddie had run his hands through it multiple times over the course of the night, and it was something that Richie immediately felt guilty for.

"Don't apologize," Eddie said. "You didn't…" Eddie stopped, his teeth pressing into his bottom lip as he seemed to reconsider his words. "I understand why you were upset. I fucked up and…I know that."

"Yeah," Richie agreed. "I'm not going to pretend that it didn't hurt, but…I'm trying very hard to understand where you were coming from. I know your intentions were good and…I suppose I can't blame you."

There was that smile again, ghosting ever so slightly across Eddie's lips. "And that's all I can ask for at this point." He diverted his eyes away from Richie's, glancing down at the picture tucked in between them. He frowned slightly, perhaps wishing for that moment that seemed completely lost and locked away inside Richie's mind.

"You asked me last night if things were completely fucked between us and…I don't want them to be." Richie didn't say anything else, his heart doing somersaults in his chest as he waited for Eddie to answer him.

Eddie's eyes were round and hopeful when they met Richie's again. Richie could see him swallowing before he said, "I don't want them to be either." His breath was now coming rapidly, and Richie could feel him shaking slightly under his grip. "So where does that leave us?"

"I've been asking myself that all night," Richie admitted. "Did…I mean, we had a good marriage, right?"

Eddie nodded, his bottom lip quivering as he did so. "The best." His eyes were watering as he said, "We…" but then he stopped just as abruptly. He shook his head, pressing his lips together in an effort to silence himself.

"Tell me," Richie requested. "Tell me what you were going to say. We…told each other everything, didn't we?"

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "Until I fucked shit up."

"I…didn't mean that," Richie insisted. "I just…I want us to talk about things and it doesn't bode well for us if we continue to hide things from each other."

Eddie opened his mouth, but then a blush rose up in his cheeks. He seemed to be on the verge of laughter before he said, "What I was going to say, if you must know, was that we made love the morning before you got attacked. So yeah, we had a good marriage."

Richie had known that if they were married, then they had obviously made love at some point along the line, but he had forced himself not to think about it too much. It was a little intimidating, not knowing what sorts of things had transpired between them in bed. It was still something that Richie craved, but it made Richie feel oddly inexperienced in terms of what Eddie knew had happened. It made him feel new to all this, almost like a virgin, but Richie suspected he was far from it where Eddie was concerned.

"Something you said makes sense now," Richie said.

"What's that?"

"You told me that I talk about sex a lot, but…you're the only one I've…ever wanted in that way." Richie could feel his own cheeks growing warm, but he forced himself to go on. "Even if there was someone else that I found oddly attractive, I couldn't imagine throwing that in your face. I…would never want you to think, even for a second, that I wanted anyone else. It's only ever been you."

"For me too."

"And that's something else I've been thinking about," Richie said. "Yes, you lied, but it wasn't like…you wanted to deceive me for self-serving purposes. You…weren't trying to have an affair behind my back or anything."

"Oh, god, no," Eddie whispered, shaking his head wildly. "I would never do that to you." For the first time since he had woken up, Eddie finally seemed to relax into Richie's touch, letting his hand drift ever so slightly higher on Richie's bicep. "You're everything to me, and you can rest assured that there's no one else in this world that would make me turn my head."

"I know," Richie replied. "And I need you to know that I doubt I'm going to be ready for that part of our relationship again for a while-"

"And that's perfectly okay," Eddie cut him off gently. "You don't need to be. I don't expect you to be and there's definitely no pressure. I want you to take as much time as you need."

"And I appreciate that, but…you miss it, don't you?"

"Intimacy with my husband?" Eddie asked. "Of course I do, but…there's no expectations, okay? I understand that it's not something you feel ready to jump back into, and I wouldn't want you to. We…have a lot to work out before we even get back to that point, and I'm okay with waiting. For as long as you need. I love you way too much to even try and pressure you into something you're not ready for."

Richie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Even though he knew deep down that Eddie would never put that sort of pressure on him, a tiny part of Richie wondered if a lack of intimacy would be a deal-breaker. He thought it might for some people.

"Okay," Richie said at the tail end of his breath. His palm on Eddie's hip felt sweaty, so he moved his hand over the cotton of Eddie's jeans, attempting to dissipate the moisture. And maybe it was in an attempt to try and convey to Eddie just how much his patience meant. "And you asked me where that leaves us."

"Where does it leave us?"

"I want us to work on things," Richie said. "By no means am I remotely ready to pick up where we left off, even in an emotional sense, but…can we get to know each other again?" Richie shut his mouth then, because damn it, he was good at saying dumb things. "And I realize how stupid that sounds. We've already been married for…I don't know how long."

"Six months," Eddie said. "It's been six months. It was six months on the first."

Richie thought about this for a moment before he said, "October. We got married on October first."

"Yeah." Eddie's hand drifted up even higher on Richie's arm, sneaking underneath the sleeve of his t-shirt to grip his shoulder now. "We were sort of trying to get rid of all the bad mojo surrounding that time of year, you know?"

"And did we?"

"Fuck yeah, we did."

Richie smiled only to be hit with a pang of guilt that he couldn't even remember his own fucking wedding.

"It's okay," Eddie said as if he knew without a shadow of a doubt what Richie was thinking. His hand squeezed around Richie's shoulder, and Richie shivered at the sensation, loving the feeling of Eddie touching him like that. So lovingly. So patient and understanding.

Richie stretched out his hand on Eddie's hip, his fingertips drifting across the gentle curve of Eddie's ass through his jeans ever so slightly. "So can we…I suppose it's going to be like starting over again, which I realize is probably a really shitty thing to ask of you."

"Yes, we can do that," Eddie replied immediately, forcing out a breath. "I do miss what we lost, but…you're my husband, Rich. If starting our romance over is what we need to do, then…I'm more than okay with it. Bill even brought up this possibility while you were still in the hospital – if I'd be willing to start over with you if you never remembered anything. I told him yes, that it would be enough knowing that…nothing could make you stop loving me."

Richie's eyes burned slightly and he tried to blink the sensation away. "Nothing," he said, his voice betraying his emotion. "Ever. Loving you is who I am."

"Me too."

Richie was breathing hard and felt the same urges he always had with Eddie come flooding back in full force. He wanted to take Eddie in his arms and kiss him. Maybe even roll over on top of Eddie and revel in the way Eddie's body felt against his. Richie didn't think that would be something that Eddie would be averse to, but Richie felt like they were still skating on very thin ice right now, and he didn't want to do anything to push his luck.

Didn't want to do anything to spoil the feelings that were coursing through Richie. The electricity firing through him at the possibility of fixing things between the two of them. The sensation of being pulled towards Eddie like a magnet. Richie only wondered if Eddie could feel it too.

To be continued…

Author's note: Again, not too much going on in this chapter, but I felt it was important to show where Richie's and Eddie's minds are at. We'll get back into the actual storyline in the next chapter.