Time Scale: Nano-click: second ; Cycle: Minute ; Groon: an hour ; Mega-cycle: days ; Orn: 13 days ; Steller Cycle: year ; Vorn: 83 year

Chapter 19: A Light

Sentinel felt like he had lied there forever, staring at his hands. Well, his mangled hands. He still hadn't given Restart an answer yet and the healer had already replaced his optics and started on his legs. The mech said it was best to work on his legs while he couldn't feel anything. Luckily, the healer had the foresight to at least put a sheet up so he could not see the work being done, but it had been three steller cycles since they had had the talk about his spinal strut and one could just feel the tension on the ship.

He could have cut through it with his lance it was so thick. Not that Sentinel blamed the mech; he really did look swollen and ready to pop. He knew they couldn't wait much longer. He had to make a decision. True, if he kept it, the sparkling would be delivered in the middle of space as they headed towards Docker City … if he didn't keep it he could injure his spinal strut further and perhaps become disabled.

Oh, choices.

And yet, as he stared at the swollen metal around his abdomen, he found a deep sorrow at the thought of the second option. This thing, this sparkling, would love him unconditionally. A deep part of him knew that and … yearned for it. Not the sparkling in particular, in all honesty, but someone to love. Someone to share his thoughts and life with. Someone to take care of and that would take care of him in turn. Yes, if he kept the sparkling he would do most of the caring, but he had seen children comfort their creators and fill their sparks with joy. After all of this, the depression and his tick and his career falling through … it would be nice to know that someone would love him despite becoming a nobody and a failure.

It would be nice to be loved unconditionally.

Yes, he would have preferred someone to bond with and share his life. A pretty femme, someone like Elita-1.

Though, looking at his swelling belly, he knew that would never happen now. Even if he did abort it or give away the sparkling, he doubted he would be able to find a femme. Femmes just seem to know when a mech had carried. And though it was not taboo, since the loss of Allspark and femmes higher fertility rates, most femmes would rejected a mech that had carried for it showed that the mech's carrying chamber was healthier than his nanites. He didn't know why that bothered femmes. Perhaps, it was a survival instinct that the species had imbedded in itself when their population had suffered during the war with the loss of so many model types. Or perhaps it was just the lack of the Allsparks presence in their youthful society, but he expected nothing but rejection from the femmes in the future.

As for the subject of finding a mech, Sentinel couldn't even bear the thought. For one, he just wasn't sexually attracted to most mech types with their bulky frames. And given that he had carried, he would probably always be the mech on bottom and he wouldn't be able to handle that. He doubted he would ever want anything in his valve again actually. Primus, he couldn't even take a full medical evaluation the equipment.

Besides, even though she was more of a nightmare now days, he knew he would never get over Elita-1. He would never love again. At least not romantically, but the sparkling would love him … especially if it was anything like Optimus.

Wincing at the thought, Sentinel pressed down on his belly, wishing that the shell had life for a moment so he could feel it move, so he wouldn't be alone with his new revelation.

Yes, Optimus was a good mech. He … had done nothing wrong in the sewers or really ever except for caring too much. He was a good mech, better than him. They had been friends due to his kindness and if Elita hadn't been there to distract him … it might have even become romantic. There was just something about Optimus Prime, pure and resilient that deserved respected. True, he knew he would never have the levels of empathy that Optimus did, but he had the rules and they were just as good. Following the rules showed fairness and caring for a society at whole.

Too bad that never got him anywhere.

It just gained him hate.

So, perhaps he deserved it. Perhaps, he came off as cruel. After all, Sentinel had always trusted the Magnus' opinions and the Magnus had called him faulty, a failure in oh so many words. Perhaps, he wasn't meant to have his dreams come true. Perhaps, given the choice, fate had decided that if this rape was going to happen, Optimus was more important and Sentinel was stronger. He could bare the memories and the truth of the sparkling's dark creation alone. He could do this alone.

And so, a sob escaping his throat, a deep part of him accepted the death of his dreams and the loss of fate's favor, and he called Restart into the room.

He had made his decision.

…

"So … is it true?"

Aquila, looking up from his digi-pad, gave the femme a bored look from across the galley table, his expression un-amused.

"Oh I don't know, the temporary nursery might just be for show Sonic Trip. You know, we love doing stuff like that. It amuses us greatly," said the flier sarcastically, the femme giving him a look.

"You are just mad that they put it in your room and are making you room with your brother for the remainder of the trip," she joked, still too excited at the prospect to be put down by the jet's foul attitude. "I … just can't believe he is going to keep it. This is wonderful. There is just something about that sparkling. I can feel it. He or she will have a destiny."

"A destiny, huh?" murmured Aquila as Graph gave him a glare from over the counter. "I didn't think you were the superstitious type."

"I'm not," said the femme, her optics staring at a roaming shadow on the wall for a moment before she kindly accepted a warm energon cup from the group's designated cook, Graph. "There are just some things that you know. And I know you think that Primus has punished Rift Ring by doing this to him, but I look at it a different way. Primus gave him a light. Primus gave him a gift."

It was then, Aquila giving the femme a confused expression that Skyfire stumbled in, the smell of solvent and medical cleaners on his body as he happily proclaimed, "The back strut surgery was a success … and the sparkling dropped safely not even nano-clicks later. In fact, the spark is bonding with the shell abnormally fast. I wouldn't be surprised if Rift Ring will be going into labor in a mega-cycle or two. It seems he or she really wants to come out and meet the world."

And so, despite the sparkling's far from friendly origins, Sonic Trip's words started to ring true, because that night there was a small celebration among the crew. A sparkling that hadn't even been born yet was the cause for the celebration, for it had become a light at the end of a grueling tunnel.

The sparkling, the light, that Sentinel had decided to keep.

XXX

Paw07: Short, sweet, and an overall happy chapter. Also, we are almost done with this story arch of the tale. One birthing scene later and then we are going to have a time skip. Then will begin the final arch of this story. Yes, I can see an end in sight!