So here is the last part of this bizarre dream sequence fiasco...still don't quite know where I got it from but there you go, the author's mind works in mysterious ways! :D This is dedicated especially to halabala33...I still don't know what the hell Journeyman is, but I'm glad you like it.
If you want some musical inspiration when reading this, I reccommend going onto youtube and typing in 'Hancock soundtrack: The Trailer' its an awesome score by John Powell and goes with the story from the point where Matt comes into it. Try and enjoy and as always I would be positively thrilled if you'd leave me a review!
Allie waited patiently as she leant against the bathroom door, dutifully holding the pint of iced water and tapping her foot.
It only took three more violent retches for the door to open and Lara to pad out in her pyjamas, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail and plastered to her sweaty face.
"I hate your brother," she muttered, accepting the pint of water and moving into the kitchen where she promptly threw herself into a stool and leant her head on the cool marble counter.
"I know," Allie smiled. "But just think, in nine months when you've got a mini-me running around, it'll all be worth it,"
"Not to mention my arse will be the size of Texas," she rolled her eyes.
"Hey," Allie nudged her, placing a bowl of pineapple in front of her and watching her eyes light up. "You look gorgeous,"
"Liar," Lara mumbled with her mouth full. "But as you brought the word up…I hear you were talking to that hottie from Steve's work last night,"
Allie froze and gulped down her coffee, cursing when she burnt her tongue.
"I thidn't thalk tho thanyone," she lisped, taking a large gulp of orange juice to quell the burning.
"Bullshit," Lara laughed, munching on the bowl of fruit. "And by the way I love how you didn't deny he was a hottie,"
"He was rude," Allie frowned. "And bloody annoying,"
"And hot," Lara chimed in.
"He called me Allie," she whispered, looking down at the counter top and drawing invisible patterns on it with her fingernail. "Isn't that weird?"
"Not really," the red head swallowed. "That's your name."
"Yeah but Will always introduces me to his work buddies as Alyssa," she shook her head. "He called me Allie straight off and then…then he said something about knowing I hated being called Alyssa,"
"Maybe he's a stalker?" Lara guessed with a grin.
"You're not helping," Allie laughed. "I just…it was creepy, y'know? I felt like…"
"Like you wanted to shag him on the table in front of Will?" Lara finished for her.
"And we're done," Allie laughed, slapping her lightly on the arm. "Things would be so much simpler if I didn't have some fat whore as my best friend,"
"That I am," Lara grinned proudly, patting her barely there bump. "But you know what would actually make things a lot simpler?"
"What's that?" Allie raised an eyebrow as she smeared butter onto a cinnamon bagel.
"Admitting that you don't love Will and that this engagement is making you miserable,"
Allie stopped mid-bite and glared at her friend, shaking her head and dropping the bagel back down onto her plate.
"We're not going into this again," she snapped.
"Why, Allie?" Lara demanded. "Because you're scared that you might actually admit the truth and work out that you're not happy?"
"I am the God damn picture of happiness, alright?" she sighed.
"Oh yeah, you seem it," the red head snorted. "I mean, Will's rich, he's arrogant, he criticises everything you do and from living with you at Uni I can also hazard a guess that he's not that great in the sack," she shrugged. "What's not to love?"
"Lara, just…" Allie shook her head. "Just drop it, ok?"
She opened her mouth to argue, stopping only when Allie looked up at her with tears brimming in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling slightly as she fought for control.
"I'm never going to have what you and Harry have, ok?" she whispered. "But I do have Will and I can't let that go just because of a couple of nit-picks…"
"Nit-picks?" Lara laughed. "Allie, sweetie, the guy tells you what to wear for fuck sake! You're 24 years old you should be able to…"
Lara was cut off when her phone started ringing, the shrillness of the sound breaking through the silence in the kitchen and through Allie's mild hang over.
Recalling how after kissing Pete she had headed straight to the bar in hopes of forgetting it ever happened, she realised what the taste was in her mouth.
"Who the hell is calling me now?" Lara grumbled. "If it's your brother calling to check up on me again, I swear to God, I'll cut off his…"
She paused and stared down at the screen with a frown on her face.
"What?" Allie sniffed, wiping her eyes and happy for the distraction. "Who is it?"
"Uh…its you," Lara held up the phone showing the caller ID complete with the photo of Allie passed out wearing reindeer antlers that always flashed up when she called.
"What?" Allie frowned. "Answer it!"
"I don't want to!" Lara shoved the phone at her. "What if it's Will?"
"Why would Will have my phone?" Allie rolled her eyes.
"I don't know, do I?" Lara shook the handset at her. "Just answer it!"
"Oh God, fine!" she sighed, flipping it open. "Hello?"
"Thought this might get your attention,"
Allie's mouth fell open, her half eaten bagel falling to the floor as she gawked at Lara.
"What?" the red head whispered. "Who is it?"
"You stole my phone?" Allie shook her head.
"Actually, you left it in the garden right after you twated me one," Pete smirked. "Nice right hook by the way,"
"So you took my phone?" Allie snapped, growing annoyed already. She didn't like what the sound of his voice was doing to her.
"I figured it would give us a chance to talk." Pete answered.
"Yeah, well that won't work," Allie told him bluntly. "I'd rather go out and buy a new one than spend a second with you,"
"Ouch," Pete laughed. "Fuck me, you don't 'alf know how to shoot a bloke down, do ya?"
"When its you, I'll make an exception," she told him sweetly.
"Look," Pete smiled down the phone. "I'll be at Osteria Romana at 1 today, I'll 'ave your phone so all you 'ave to do is show up and I'll hand it over,"
"And we have to go to a restaurant to do that?" Allie snorted. "What'd you take me for?"
"A stubborn brat," Pete laughed. "Now are you coming or what?"
Allie bit her lip, staring at Lara who was still mouthing words at her, obviously trying to suss out what the hell was going on.
"If you're not there at dead on one, then I'm leaving," Allie told him curtly. "You hand me the phone and then I leave, alright?"
"That's the deal," Pete told her, trying not to get too excited.
"Fine," she closed her eyes, trying to convince herself that she wasn't nervous.
"See you then," he whispered. "Oh and Allie?"
"What?" she sighed, wanting the conversation to be over.
"You sound really fuckin' sexy first thing in the morning,"
Against her will a grin spread across her face so wide that she had to bite down on the inside of her mouth to try and get rid of it.
"Whatever," she muttered, hating herself for the fact that she knew he could hear the smile in her voice.
Hanging up before he had a chance to do anything but laugh, she placed the phone back onto the counter and let out a deep breath.
"Come on!" Lara shouted suddenly, making her jump. "What the hell was that all about?"
"That was…" Allie stared down at the phone. "That was just…something I have to do,"
"Something or someone?" Lara raised an eyebrow. "That was a guy wasn't it?" she gasped. "Oh my God! Was it Pete?"
"How do you know his name?" Allie frowned.
"I have my ways," she wiggled her eyebrows. "You're having lunch with him?"
"No," the blonde shook her head vehemently. "I'm getting my phone back and then he can go off and do whatever it is he does,"
"Right," Lara nodded slowly. "So you're not nervous about seeing him again?"
"Why would I be?" Allie held up her hand and pointed to her engagement ring.
"Oh as if I give a shit about that thing," she waved it off. "£50 says you kiss him,"
"I'm. Getting. My. Phone. Back," Allie told her, over pronouncing the words so she would understand.
"Yeah, from a hot guy with a nice arse," Lara snorted. "And I don't doubt that you need a good-…"
"Alyssa," Will shouted, his voice booming through into the kitchen.
"Not a word," Allie warned Lara, ignoring the smirk on her face. "In here," she called back.
"Oh," he stepped into the kitchen and placed his briefcase on the table. "You're still in your pyjamas,"
"Uh…yeah, well I've only just woken up," she forced a smile.
"Bloody hell, how will you cope when we've got kids?" Will laughed, picking up an apple and munching it loudly. "There'll be no sleeping in till 9 then,"
Allie forced a laugh, her toes curling as she fought the urge to pick up his briefcase and brain him with it.
Lara merely stared at her in horror, dropping her head into her hands in defeat, still unable to believe that after three years, this idiot was the man that got to marry Allie Harding.
"So what are your plans for lunch?" he asked her, spitting some apple onto the counter next to Lara.
"I'm um…" Allie looked at her friend who was staring at the apple crumbs in disgust.
"I just thought we could go wedding dress shopping," he grinned at her. "How's that sound?"
"Wedding dress shopping?" Lara laughed, flicking the apple flecks onto the floor. "You're kinda in my domain there, Willy,"
"Its Will," he snapped without bothering to look at her. "And I know its traditional for me not to see the dress but I thought why take the risk when we can pick out something we both like?"
Lara stared at him with so much hatred in her that she briefly wondered if she could stab him with the breadknife and get away with it if she blamed it on her pregnancy hormones.
"Actually, I'm busy," Allie told him, surprising them both. "I have a…uh, I have a meeting,"
"You didn't mention it before," Will frowned.
"I know," she laughed. "I just…I was so busy with last night that I forgot and it's a client of mine and Lara's so I really have to go and take care of it, right Lara?"
"Yes!" Lara nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I mean this is a big, big deal and we'd be completely stupid to not go considering our current position with our other client,"
"Right," Will nodded slowly. "Well, give me a call when you're done, perhaps we can see a film or something tonight?"
"Sure," Allie smiled, knowing that she'd be dragged to some artsy cinema once again to watch some modern crap as per usual.
"Ok, well you have fun," he kissed her cheek.
"I will," she called back as he left. "Trust me, I will,"
It had taken Pete Dunham forty minutes to get to Lambeth place, it had taken him ten minutes to locate the Denver Building which overlooked the Thames. It took him exactly four minutes to get the elevator from the bottom floor to the penthouse, stopping four times to let various people on and off.
It took 2 minutes for him to walk down the hallway and locate penthouse apartment 6E.
And it though it took Matt Buckner twenty seven seconds to answer the door, it only took Pete Dunham five seconds to pull his fist back and slam it into his face.
"I think you broke my nose,"
"I didn't break a fuckin' thing," Pete muttered, tossing a wet towel at the American as he sat on one of the leather arm chairs in the monstrously sized living room.
Perching on the edge of the sofa, Pete laced his hands together in front of him and sighed, trying to work out where to begin.
"So you ignore every phone call, every text and letter for two years and then you show up at my front door just to punch me in the face?" Matt frowned.
"That's what it looks like, ain't it?" Pete shrugged. "And what'd you mean every phone call? You only got in touch with Steve about this piece of shit,"
He lifted a copy of the book off of Matt's coffee table and looked at it in disgust.
"And why the hell would I bother calling you after what happened last time?" Matt laughed.
"Last time?" Pete shook his head.
"You know, the time when you showed up here with Ike and Swill, beat the shit out of me, blamed me for Bovver's death and told me that if I ever tried to contact you again, you'd finish the job?"
Pete blinked in shock, looking closer at his former friend and making out a scar beside his eye. Had he really done that?
"I blamed you?" he shook his head.
"Of course you did," Matt snorted. "After all, the reason Tommy went after you was because you were trying to protect me and Shannon and the reason Bovver got killed was because he stepped in and Tommy stabbed him,"
Pete went cold, his eyes closing for a moment as he tried to force the image out of his head. Bovver, his best mate, his other brother practically had died saving his life.
"I don't remember any of it," he whispered.
"Oh come on, Pete," Matt stood up and tossed the bloodied towel into the sink. "How about telling me why you're really here?"
"I don't…" he shook his head. "Fuck…"
Matt stared at him for a long time, his anger fading when he saw the sincerity, the genuine fear and concern in his friend's eyes.
"What'd you mean you don't remember?" he asked.
"As if I'm gonna tell you," Pete scoffed. "You'll probably use it to start your fuckin' sequel after I leave,"
"That wasn't what the book was about," Matt protested.
"Really?" Pete laughed. "Because I've read it mate and I gotta admit, you did one hell of a job making us sound like a right bunch of cunts,"
"You don't think you might have done that all on your own?" Matt shot back. "Jesus, Pete do you have any idea how much shit we all went through that year? You were in hospital for three months, Bovver was dead, the firm was on its ass, Steve was barely walking and my sister was…"
"What?" Pete snapped his head up to stare at the younger man. "What 'appened to Shannon?"
"What's with all the questions, Pete?" he demanded. "Did someone finally hit you hard enough to destroy the few brain cells you had?"
"You really wanna play the smart arse with me?" Pete glared at him. "Didn't think so,"
"Look, it's just…" he sighed. "We went over this in the hospital, we agreed that we wouldn't talk about it again…"
"Yeah, well I changed my mind," Pete snapped. "Now tell me what 'appened,"
"That night that we visited Steve in the hospital," Matt murmured quietly. "You were barely walking, you were so messed up from the fight and…Shannon had lost Ben a couple of days before, social services had taken him away after the fight with Hatcher. Steve had told the police that Shannon had knowingly put him in danger by going to the Warf and they sided with him."
"So Steve lied to the police to get Ben?" Pete frowned.
"No," Matt shook his head. "He wasn't lying, Pete come on, you were there. Tommy went for that kid, he wanted the same thing that Steve had taken from him…and if you hadn't gotten to the car in time then…"
The American noticeable shuddered but carried on, nervously lacing his hands together.
"We went to see Steve at the hospital and Shannon was there…" he gulped. "She was…she was trying to pull the cords out of the oxygen machine. We went in there and we stopped her, you told her that she'd never get Ben after this and that if it was the last thing you ever did you'd make sure that she ended up alone,"
Pete swallowed hard, feeling sick at the thought but not completely unable to imagine the words coming out of his mouth.
"She killed herself a few weeks later," Matt sobbed quietly. "You didn't even go to the funeral, you just shut down…no one heard from you for months, Pete. You quit going to physiotherapy, you trashed the school one night and just disappeared off of the face of the earth,"
Pete stared at the floor with tears blurring his vision, his hands shaking despite being clamped together in between his knees.
"You lost your job, you moved out of the flat you and Bovver had had since University and turned up six months later looking like shit on my doorstep," Matt shook his head. "You then proceeded to beat the shit out of me and blame most of what had happened on me, then you were gone again,"
"How did…" Pete swallowed hard, fighting the urge to scream. "How did I get that fucked up? I mean after the fight, what happened that made me so…"
"You had nothing to live for anymore, Pete," Matt told him. "Once the GSE was done, what the hell did you have left? Bovver was dead, your mum didn't want to know you, you blamed yourself for Shannon's death…you had nothing."
Because Allie wasn't there, he realised. The only thing that had kept him going after the fight with Hatcher had been her, the thought of being with her, of starting a family with her.
But in this world, Pete had never known her, so without her there to hold him together, he'd inevitably fallen apart.
"Why'd you write the book, Matt?" he whispered. "After all that, you sold out just to make a quick fuckin' penny? If I'm twisted, then what the fuck does that make you?"
"Have you read the book, Pete?" he laughed softly. "Have you even opened up the first page?"
Pete stared at him as though he was mad, eyeing him warily when he leant forward and picked up the copy on his coffee table, handing it over and gesturing for him to open it.
For Shannon Dunham, the sister I lost and For Pete Dunham, the brother I never had.
This is their story, not mine.
Pete shook his head and stared down at it, not bothering to try and blink back the tears this time.
"This don't prove a thing," he whispered hoarsely.
"I don't know why you have all these questions, Pete," Matt shrugged, wiping his eyes bashfully. "But all the answers you need are in there,"
He stared down at it for a long moment, his hands resting on the cover as he tried to compose himself.
"You know what?" he murmured, leaning forward and placing the book back next to Matt. "I don't think I want anymore answers,"
Standing up, he wiped his hands on his jeans and shook his head.
"It should 'ave been different," he told him honestly. "I can't take back none of this shit but if it means anything…" he shrugged. "I would if I could, mate,"
Matt laughed and stood up next to him, looking out over the Thames and leaning his head against the cool glass.
"Y'know I really, really hate this place," he whispered. "There's not a day goes by when I don't wish I could go home,"
"You and me both," Pete snorted. "So why don't you?"
"What?" Matt frowned.
"Go home," he explained. "Go back to Harvard, do what you wanted to do to begin with,"
"I can't go back, Pete," he faced him, a single tear falling down his face. "None of us can,"
"I know," Pete nodded. "That's what scares me,"
Allie checked her watch for the third time in less than a minute, noting with disdain that it was still 1.07 which meant Pete was late.
Pulling her coat tighter around her body, she sighed and glanced around the restaurant, trying to establish whether she had simply missed him, whether he was sat around the corner waiting for her.
Gaining nothing more than a few sympathetic looks from the waiters, she bit her lip and shook her head.
"Screw this," she whispered, adjusting her bag on her shoulder and pulling the door open, preparing to step back into the cold.
"You're eager,"
Looking up, she met Pete's eyes and hated herself for feeling her heart start to pound. She hadn't noticed in the dark but they were gorgeous, deep green flecks running through the light blue.
"To get away from you?" she cocked her head to the side. "Always,"
He smirked alf heartedly, his stomach still unsettled from everything Matt had told him earlier. How had his life become such a mess? How had he screwed himself up so badly that he'd lost everything he'd ever cared about?
"So where is it?" she asked expectantly.
"Where's what?" he frowned.
"My phone," she sighed. "The whole reason I'm here, remember?"
"Oh, right," he winked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the battery, dropping it into her hand and watching the angry fire leap back into her eyes.
"What the hell is this?" Allie demanded.
"It's the battery," he explained. "I figured if I could get you here then…"
"Then what?" she snapped.
"I've got your phone," Pete shrugged. "It's just not all together. So I'm gonna ask you some questions and for every one you answer, I'll give you another bit,"
"Jesus Christ, you really are a psycho," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair. "Look, I'm really not in the mood to mess around so…"
"You have a lady bird tattoo on your hip," he interrupted, watching her eyes widen in a mixture of fear and shock. "You got it in Camden when you were 16 because it's what your mum used to call you when you were little."
Allie stared up at him with tears in her eyes, her breath catching as she fought to get words out.
No one knew that story other than Lara and Jack who'd been with her on the day. How the hell…
"I'm asking for ten minutes, Allie," Pete looked at her seriously, his thumb brushing over her knuckles where he was still pressing the phone battery into her hand. "Please?"
Not taking her eyes off of his, she shot her hand out as a waiter passed by them and tried to blink the tears from her eyes.
"Table for two," she whispered.
Pete slid into the chair, grateful that the waiter had put them at the back of the restaurant where only one other couple were sat.
Watching Allie, he could see her hands shaking as she placed her napkin on her knee and licked her lip, preparing to speak.
It was then that he caught it.
"What's that?" he asked, gesturing to her wrist.
"What?" she whispered, looking down at seeing the long pink scar that ran along the skin. "Oh um, it's nothing just an operation I had…"
"What operation?" he frowned.
"A couple of years back I had a fight with Will and got on a train on my own," she began.
Pete felt his stomach seize up, knowing that he wasn't going to like this.
"I uh, I got attacked, I guess," she shrugged, pulling at the sleeve of her sweater to cover it. "It was just a group of drunk guys, one of them stamped on my wrist and I had to have metal put in."
The night he was supposed to have met her, he realised. Shit…he should have been there.
"I'm sorry, Allie," he told her.
"Why?" she snorted. "It's not your fault,"
Shaking his head, Pete rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms and wondering what the hell he had been thinking asking her to come here. What was he going to get out of this exactly?
"How did you know about my tattoo?" she blurted out. "I don't tell anyone about that, let alone Will, I mean he hates it, he doesn't know the story behind it…"
"I can't…" Pete sighed. "I get to ask the questions first, right?"
"What about me?" she laughed. "You can't just throw something like that at me and then expect me to just…"
"Allie," Pete interrupted, his tone of voice stopping her rant midsentence. "Please?"
Closing her mouth, she nodded mutely and began playing with her knife and fork on the table.
"Why the fuck are you marrying this bloke?" he asked her.
"What?" she narrowed her eyes.
"I'm not trying to piss you off," Pete leant forward and held her gaze. "But you're not happy, not by a mile."
"You don't know me," she laughed.
"Say for arguments sake I do," he shook his head. "Say I know you better than you probably know yourself, look me in the eye and tell me you're happy,"
"I'm happy," she whispered with a shrug.
"You're shit at lying," he snapped. "Allie, why?"
"Because," she snapped. "He loves me, alright? He's not perfect but he loves me and I'm supposed to give up on that on the off chance that I might meet someone better suited?" she snorted. "You sound just like Lara,"
"You hate Will," he told her firmly. "He's a prick and more to the point…you're better than him,"
"Listen, Pete," Allie smiled tightly, trying to mask the tears in her eyes. "This was a mistake ok? Just give me my phone and let me go,"
"No," he shook his head. "We're not done here,"
"Yeah, well I am," she dropped her napkin onto her plate. "Sorry,"
"What about your phone?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Keep it," she shrugged.
"Wait," Pete shouted as she walked away. "Allie!"
"Look," she snapped, turning on her heel and glaring at him. "I don't know who you are, I don't know how it is you know all this shit about me but right now, I don't care. I just want to go home,"
"Home to what?" he laughed. "The empty house where you'll sit and wait for Will to come home? Fuckin' 'ell Allie, that's not you,"
"I do not have to listen to this," she spat at him, turning again and striding over to the door, yanking it open and stepping out into the blistering wind.
"Oh yes you fuckin' do," Pete shouted, slamming out of the restaurant after her. "You know the reason you're storming off?"
"Because you're annoying?" she called back in a sing-song voice.
"Because you know I'm right," he laughed.
"And why would I take your word on anything?" she shook her head. "I met you 24 hours ago,"
"Yeah, well I met you two fuckin' years ago!" he shouted, not caring about the consequences anymore.
"You what?" Allie practically screamed. "What the hell is wrong with you? Where the fuck did you escape from, Pete? We just met!"
"Then how come I knew about the tattoo?" he smirked, getting closer to her. "How come I know about the little birth mark on the back of your left leg? How come I know what a fuckin' awful drunk you are or that you're the only person over the age of 11 who still cuts the crusts off of their sandwiches, I know that you keep a copy of Charlotte's Web under your pillow because it's the story your mum was in the middle of reading to you when she got sick,"
Allie backed away from him, shaking her head in disbelief as she sobbed.
"I know you cry every time you watch Little Women and I know that you're favourite place to be is in Hyde Park when it snows because its where you're mum and dad taught you to ride your bike, that's the earliest memory you have, right?"
Allie stared up at him in horror, the tears streaming down her face freely as she tried to move away from him.
"How…" she whispered brokenly.
"The same way I know you're not happy," Pete whispered back to her. "Because I know you, Allie."
Letting go of her, he reached into his pocket and produced the rest of the phone, holding it up in front of her.
"One more question," he gave her a small smile. "Follow me?"
"What?" she shook her head.
"Follow me, just to this one place and I'll give it back to you, you can go and I won't bother you anymore," he met her eyes. "It's the best offer you'll get out of me,"
Her eyes moved rapidly from him and back to the phone until with a short gasp, she nodded and closed her eyes.
"Yeah?" Pete asked her again, smiling when she nodded. "Come on then,"
He held out his hand, temporarily forgetting that she was afraid of him but a second later when he felt her fingers link through his, he let all thought drift out of his mind.
Allie stared down at the book as Pete sat next to her on the sofa, placing a mug in front of her and then sipping his own.
"Is this supposed to mean something to me?" she whispered, staring down at the cover. "What the hell is Green Street?"
"This might sound fucked up," Pete admitted.
"After everything you've already told me," she raised an eyebrow.
"Alright, when you put it like that," he smirked, tapping his finger on the front cover. "All of this…it wasn't meant to happen,"
"The book?" she frowned.
"The stuff in it," Pete explained. "Its all wrong…all of this is wrong. And it's because of you,"
She blinked and looked at him seriously.
"I'm sorry, what?" she shook her head.
"Not that…you didn't do anything wrong," Pete assured her. "It was both of us…see when you were…fuck, I should have been there,"
He picked up her wrist and ran his finger over the scar, his heart quickening at the thought of her hurt. He should have been there.
"What are you talking about?" Allie shook her head.
"You should never have gotten hurt," Pete smiled sadly. "I don't know why I wasn't on the train that night but if I had been, you wouldn't be like this…"
To her amazement, he bent his head down and kissed the scar, his lips barely brushing the skin but sending her heart soaring.
"I lied," she whispered. "About the scar…" she rolled her eyes. "Well, half lied…"
Pete looked at her strangely, waiting for her to continue.
"After I got out of hospital, Will proposed," she smiled. "He said that he never wanted to fight with me again and that I was the most important thing in his life. I don't know why I said yes but…he had everything planned out for me, y'know. Kids, schools, the lot. He made me quit my job, I used to work at Vogue," she informed him. "I'm a secretary at his law firm now, I earn about 10K less but at least he gets to know what I'm doing,"
She sobbed and looked down at the scar.
"One day I got an offer from Vogue, they got back in touch with me," she smiled. "Wanted me to go to New York for three months and work on the issue, it was what I'd dreamed of since I was a little girl. Lara, my dad, both my brothers were pushing me to go,"
Pete watched as she sobbed, shaking her head.
"I got home and Will was stood there with some champagne, I thought he'd heard the news but instead he'd uh…he'd promoted me. See I'm his secretary now and I was supposed to be so thankful for that. My dad had told him about the offer from Vogue earlier in the morning and he'd…he'd called up and told them that I couldn't go because I was pregnant,"
Pete blinked as she laughed; how the fuck could Will have done that to her?
"He controlled everything," she whispered. "And I couldn't take it anymore so I went into the bathroom and I pulled the blade out of my razor and I ran it over to scar,"
She stared down at it intently, remembering back to the moment.
"And then I pushed," she whispered harshly. "I pushed so hard that I could barely feel it anymore,"
Pete felt the air leave his lungs, his heart slowed to a stop, his eyes brimming with tears.
Oh fuck, no…
"Will found me, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes," she shrugged. "I went to hospital and we never talked about it again. He told everyone I was stressed, not even Lara knows…"
"Allie," Pete shook his head. "Jesus…"
"So if you know me so well," she sniffed, jerking her chin up indignantly. "Then why is it you think I'm this amazing person? I shouldn't even be here, Pete," she shook her head. "I don't want to be here,"
His eyes drifted down to the scar again and his chest tightened. She needed him as much as he needed her. His life was nothing without her in it just as hers was without him.
"Allie…" he reached up and wiped a few tears away with the pad of his thumb.
"I don't want to be here," she repeated brokenly. "I just want it all to go away,"
Shaking his head, Pete pulled her to him, kissing her lightly at first and then harder, tasting the saltiness of the tears on her lips.
Allie kissed him back, cupping his face and letting her sobs subside as he deepened the kiss, tasting her.
Without even knowing what she was doing, she found herself sliding her hands under his shirt, pushing it up over his head and laughing lightly when she caught the West Ham crest on his chest.
"You told my dad you were a rugby fan," she whispered.
"He told me the bar was free," Pete whispered back. "I had to get my revenge somehow,"
Silencing her laugh with another kiss, he picked her up and carried her down to what he knew to be his bedroom, pushing her against the closed door and peeling her shirt off.
He let his hands drift over her, kissing her stomach where their child should have been, where Poppy and Alex should have been. His heart clenched with the knowledge that they would more than likely never exist, that he would never see Poppy take her first steps or listen to his son's laughter.
Kissing the tattoo on her hip, Pete made fast work of her jeans, sliding them down her legs and kissing every inch of skin he found.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," she whispered when he finally reached her mouth again. "I barely know you,"
"But this feels right, doesn't it?" he whispered back, kissing her neck softly and feeling her soft moans vibrating through her skin.
"Yes," she nodded. "And I don't know why,"
"Best not to question these things," Pete told her with a smirk, lifting her back into his arms and dropping her onto the bed. Pushing one of her bra straps down, he ran his tongue along her collar bone, his hand pressing gently against the skin above her breast, feeling her heart beat and closing his eyes for a moment, revelling in the fact that she was alive and trying to forget the fact that had it not been for Will, she might not be.
"Pete," she whispered against his bare shoulder, her hands tracing patterns on his back.
"Yeah," he kissed her lips gently, smoothing the hair back from her face.
"It's snowing," she smiled.
"What?" he frowned.
"Look out the window," she laughed. "It's actually snowing,"
Staring down at her, seeing the smile on her face for the first time since he'd met her, the real Allie smile that he knew, Pete blurted the words out without realising.
"I love you,"
Allie's eyes widened as she turned her head to look up at him.
"What?" she whispered.
"I said I love you," Allie Dunham murmured, running her hand down Pete's face as he lay sleeping on the sofa. "Don't suppose you fancy waking up and saying it back, do you?"
In the distance she could still hear Benjamin and Chris fighting in the kitchen but her attention never left the man in front of her. They'd shown up a few hours ago, half dragging Pete with them, briefly explaining what had happened at the school.
"Ok, that's fair…because I know things are messed up with us right now," she shook her head. "And I know it's mostly my fault for being so…" she shrugged. "I just don't want to lose you, Dunham," she smiled. "You're kind of all I have left,"
Brushing her lips against his forehead, she closed her eyes for a long moment and rested her head against his chest.
"I think I forgot who I was y'know," she laughed. "That's about as melodramatic as it gets outside of the OC but…when Lara died," Allie bit her lip. "So much of who I was happened when I was growing up with her; she was the sister I never had, the one constant thing in my life and I…I couldn't talk to you about it because you still scare me, Pete."
"I love you so much, more than I ever thought I'd be able to love anyone and that scares the shit out of me," she laughed. "Because I know that I can be difficult and I can't bear the idea of screwing that up,"
Staring at his face, Allie sighed seeing that he would clearly be out for a good few hours yet.
"Ok, I'll shut up," she held up her hands and smiled at him. "Come back to me, Dunham," she kissed his lips softly. "You were never meant to leave,"
"Aye," Benjamin cleared his throat. "How's the patient?"
"Still unconscious," Allie turned and smacked his chest. "As flattered as I am that you did it in my honour, I really wish you could have gotten him back to the house without braining him on a bench,"
"He asked for it," Benjamin nodded, folding his arms. "Grumpy bastard,"
"Shut up," Allie laughed, elbowing him. "He just needs to sleep,"
"He's been konked out for four bloody hours," Benjamin snorted. "How much more sleep can the little tart need?"
"He must just be having a really good dream," Allie smiled, sitting down next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. "We'll have to ask him when he wakes up,"
"Fuck that," Benjamin snorted. "You can ask him all the questions you want, darlin', I'll be half way to Mexico by then,"
"He won't be that pissed," she laughed.
"I'll remind you of that comment in my will, shall I?" he raised an eyebrow, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"I've missed him," Allie whispered. "So much…"
"I think the feeling is mutual, sweetheart," the Scotsman promised her.
"I hated not having him here," she admitted. "It made me think about what if I'd never met him, what if we hadn't ended up here, without all this pain, would I change it?"
"And?" Benjamin asked her, squeezing her shoulder when he saw tears in her eyes.
"Not for anything," she whispered. "He's everything, Benjamin. I wouldn't be here without him,"
"Not that he doesn't already know it, but when was the last time you told him that?" he asked her honestly.
"Not for a while," she admitted, a tear leaking from her eye and falling onto her wedding ring. "But I will," she nodded to herself. "As soon as he wakes up,"
And we're back to normality...no more dream sequences or flashbacks I promise! :D But get ready for some fun, the next chapter is definately anything but depressing... ;)