Chapter 9: Bow at Sunset
"I'll just be a second," Emma calls from behind the screen.
Rose sits with Sybil on her lap in the couple's second-class cabin. Rose is dressed in the nicest of her dresses, nothing too fancy as per Emma's request. Rose can't help, but feel happy for the couple, engaged and now tying the knot. She had to feel happy, despite the misgivings and mixed feelings she has about her own relationships. She knew that Jack was invited as well, but she wasn't quite ready to face him after what happened in the gymnasium. She had her moral duties to Cal and her mother, but more importantly, he'd hurt her or Jack if she continued to see him.
"Okay," Emma calls.
She steps out in a pair of black flats. Rose's eyes go wide. The young bride-to-be is dressed in a cotton and silk white dress that goes down to her ankles. The outer layer is covered in beautifully crocheted lace. The bodice was also cotton but engraved with blue beads along the sides and the sleeves were short, covering her upper arms with another round of elegant lace.
"What do you think?" Emma asks. She gives a small twirl for her audience of two.
Rose couldn't lie. "You look amazing," Rose smiles.
Sybil squeals in agreement.
"It was my mother's. She made it herself." Emma whispers. She swallows hard. "So, in a way, she'll be with me."
Rose gets up and pulls the girl into a long hug.
"She's always with you," Rose whispers. "And today, I'm sure she could not be prouder."
"Thanks, Rose. Do think when you get married, your mother will be proud of you?"
"More likely relieved..." Rose sighs.
"What do you mean?" Emma asks, taking Sybil into her arms.
Rose swallows hard and turns red. Until then it was a carefully guarded secret between their family's financial advisers, her mother and herself, but Rose knew the truth was going to come out eventually. It had not reached the Hockley's yet, but somehow Rose knew that Emma could keep a secret. The knowledge of their debts is a burden that her mother forces her to carry alone and is never afraid to remind her of the reason she is engaged to Cal. The pressure to save their family name was a lot for Rose to handle, coupled with the fact that Cal was prone to violent outbursts like the one he had this morning was taking its toll on her mentally and physically.
"My father died a few years ago and unbeknownst to us, he left my mother and me with large debts that need to be paid off. We're struggling to keep our family name intact if not my mother becomes a seamstress and we lose everything we have."
"Is that why you're in this relationship with Cal?" Emma asks. "To save your reputation?"
"Mother's more than mine," Rose says defensively.
Emma stares a Rose for a long time. She cocks her head to the side, trying to analyze the situation.
"You don't seem like the type of person who cares about what others think about you." Emma points out.
Rose sits on the edge of the bed and lets some tears fall down her face. Emma puts Sybil in the cradle and sits next to Rose, pulling her into a long-needed hug.
Emma knew from the start that Rose was different. She was special and definitely did not belong in the world in which she lived. Rose was given pressures that no one at her age should have. Until her parents had died, Emma had no pressure to get married but to try new things and explore to her heart's desire. She was also able to try and find out what love was and what it meant to her. This exploration was the reason she had met Peter and how she realized what love meant. Emma did have a lot more responsibilities now; being the guardian of her younger sister and the sole heir to her father's company. To be honest, Rose's responsibilities seemed to be petty or if not easy to get out of.
It seemed typical of rich people, they make it sound like their problems are going to mean the end of the world, at least this is how Emma thought of it. Many families struggle to get the basic necessities for their own family like food, water or shelter and here is Rose and her mother worried about the family name and remaining filthy rich.
Emma stops herself. She realizes that it is only the mother who cares about their name, Rose does not. From the way Emma watched Rose and Jack dance the night away last night, the lively redhead couldn't care less about what others thought about her or Jack. It seemed as if the burden is Rose being rich.
Emma suddenly remembers her father's words about the rich living loveless and shallow lives, ones that were all based on status and money, never love and care. She could see that Rose did not want that type of life; it was clear that she hated Cal and he was possibly even abusive. Rose is ambitious and carefree. She needs to follow her passions and feelings and there should be nothing else to it.
"You know..." Emma says softly. "When Sybil and I first met you, we knew that you were different, Sybil more than me at first. I've had bad experiences with people of your status and I always assumed you guys were obnoxious, pompous jerks with sticks so far up your asses, you couldn't think except straight. But by the fact that you actually caught me from falling instead of letting my face hug the pavement and then just talking to us as if we were normal people. And the way you played with Sybil, told me that you were different. That you have a loving heart and passions that are all your own."
Emma gets up and rummages through her suitcase. She pulls out Rose's white glove.
"I meant to give this back to you, but when I saw the way you danced with Jack and how happy you looked, I realized something. These gloves were just a way to conceal who you were; making you unable to touch anything and really connect with it. I never understood why you would need gloves anyway except for in the winter time, but this glove was trapping you, forcing you to conceal, not being able to feel and unable to be who you are. You're being I like to think of it as if Sybil started you on a path, a path that you've gone forward and backtracked on. That glove was the key to opening that path to you. That was just the start, the catalyst if you will, the rest was up to you on whether you continued on that path. You did almost throw it all away when you wanted to jump off the back of the ship..."
Rose looks up at Emma, surprised she knew the details of her attempted suicide.
"How'd..."
"People talk on a ship," Emma smiles. "News travels fast around here. But you got back on track when you invited Jack to dinner the other night, wanting to explore more and try to find your way. You made leaps and bounds (pun intended) along that path last night, you danced your heart out and enjoyed every step of the way."
Emma pauses, she sits back down on the bed next to Rose.
"But part of me is sensing you're backtracking again, running back to the start all out of fear. This glove is going to smother you and if you take it back, the gate will be closed, and you'll be back to where you started. Be the two gloved girl who's merely there to be seen not heard. But when you had one on one hand and none on the other, it represented who you were and how torn you are right now. You're being pulled in two different directions, the life you want and the life you think you want."
Emma hands the glove back to Rose.
"It's time to decide whether to put that back on or not. Become who you want to be and whether you need these gloves or not."
Emma puts her arm around Rose for a long moment and then stands up,
"Speaking of time, it's almost sunset. We need to go, or I'll be late for my own wedding."
Rose slowly looks up at Emma who's looking at herself in the vanity mirror. She's glowing and smiling from ear to ear. She pulls her hair up into a simple, but still fancy-looking style, with the intention to keep it out of her eyes.
She reaches into her drawer and pulls out a small wooden box. Rose turns in curiosity.
"My mom's hope chest," Emma explains. "She made it for me after I was born. She's been keeping something special in it and told me I'd only get to open it on the day I got married."
Rose stands up, so curious as to what lies in the box. Emma opens it.
A beautiful ornate comb lies on the inside. It is silver and gold, the metal strands woven together with tiny jewels arranged to look like small flowers. The object seems to shine in the light and radiate beauty. It is simple but elegant.
Emma lifts it out of the box.
"It was my great-grandmother's" Emma whispers. "Passed down from mother to daughter and every bride who has worn it has lived a long and healthy life in a happy marriage."
Emma tears up as she holds the thing in her hands.
"Today I wear it, someday Sybil will wear it and any other beautiful woman in the family whose sole purpose is to marry the man they love."
Emma turns it over and there is an engraving just above the comb's teeth.
Forever and always
"Forever and always" Emma reads. "The family vow."
Emma turns to Rose with a sad smile. "Would you...?" she asks.
Rose is taken aback by the offer. Her heart beats quickly, and she herself tears up.
"I'd be honoured," Rose whispers.
Rose takes the delicate thing in her hands and slowly combs it back in Emma's hair. She's worried she might drop the thing, but in the end, she sets it perfectly in Emma's hair. It was as if it was always meant to be there.
Emma stands up still staring at her reflection.
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life," She whispers.
"And you look beautiful," Rose smiles. She leans forward and pecks Emma on the cheek, tradition that is often done by mothers or sisters before a wedding.
"For luck" Rose explains.
Emma pulls Rose into another long hug. When the two break apart Emma picks up Sybil and they begin the long trek to the bow of the Titanic. The entire way, Rose remains rather silent, her heartbeat echoing in her ears. She keeps her hands in a fixed position, squeezing the glove tightly in her hand.
When they reach the lower deck area in third-class, a brisk and cool breeze meets the young women as they approach where the wedding will be. Rose shivers and pulls the shawl she acquired up. She's about to offer one to Emma but the cold doesn't seem to bother her. They walk around a staircase, leading to the lower decks, Rose can now see a crowd of people, most likely there to just support the young couple. Many of whom Rose recognizes from the party last night, even Cora, her mother, and her father are there. All of them are smiling and wishing Emma good luck. An elderly woman comes up and hands Emma an impromptu bunch of flowers, mostly wilted roses.
"Had to swipe a few from a vase from the upper decks. It's not much but..."
Emma stops her.
"It's perfect," Emma smiles.
"Like you my child." the elderly woman smiles and kisses Emma on the cheek.
"Is everything ready?" Rose asks.
"The good father is ready and so is the groom." the elderly lady answers.
A voice rings out. "Will everyone please rise so we can begin our first hymn."
Rose can't help, but feel nervous, even though she's not the one who will be getting married. Her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts that she can't quite comprehend the meanings of. The crowd of people is all standing in a formation that is supposed to be the impromptu aisle. Many voices bellow out the lyrics to a single hymnal that they know only by the heart.
"Get ready Rose," Emma whispers. "You're going first."
Rose turns in surprise, confused.
"What...? But I..."
"And here comes your escort," Emma says, with a smile, not knowing what had transpired between the two. Rose's eyes go wide when she sees Jack coming towards the couple. Rose cannot read his face. It is a mix of emotions and Jack is trying not to look at her, obviously still reeling from their discussion earlier.
He awkwardly offers his arm out to Rose as the hymn continues.
"Miss DeWitt." Jack murmurs, still trying to avoid Rose's eyes.
"Mr. Dawson," Rose replies softly.
"Shall we?" Jack asks awkwardly. He turns once to smile at Emma. "You look amazing and good luck," he says to her.
"Thank you now, go," Emma says
Jack cocks his arm for Rose to put her arm through. She grabs a hold, her heart beating wildly with this contact. Her arm and hand sit comfortably in the crook of Jack's arm as if they were meant to be connected.
Jack begins to walk slowly down the makeshift aisle, Rose trying to follow carefully. The couple steps in the careful rhythm of the hymn as they approach the pastor and Peter, who is wearing a formal suit with a small rose pinned to his breast. He looks very handsome and is beaming from ear to ear. Rose can see the excitement in his eyes and nods to acknowledge the couple. Once the end of the aisle of people is reached, marked by Jack's friends Tommy and Fabrizio, Jack lets go to stand next to Peter. Rose can't help but feel as if Jack is being ripped from her arms. She feels once again, the feeling of sadness and of separation.
Meanwhile, Emma's heart is pounding as she holds Sybil. There are butterflies in her stomach and she can feel tears threatening to come to the surface. She desperately wishing that her father was here to walk her down the aisle and to see her mother's teary but joyful face as she walks towards Peter. In her heart, she knew that they are watching her from heaven and smiling all the time. Emma sucks in a deep breath and begins walking down the aisle. Her baby sister, sitting comfortably in her arms. Despite how unorthodox it seems to carry her sister down the aisle with her, it feels right because not only are Peter and her going to be married. but all three of them are becoming a family. Sybil is playfully fiddling with the flowers in her sister's hand and yet remaining quiet for the momentous occasion.
With every step, Emma feels more and more nervous, but at the same time, more and more joyful. She sees her handsome fiancé beaming at her, ogling her beauty in the late evening sun. Emma herself does not need the sun to show how amazing and glowing she feels on the inside.
Once she reaches the end of the aisle, she swallows and stands next to Rose, she turns to face Peter.
The song ends and Emma slowly hands Sybil to Rose, so that she can hold Peter's hands.
The pastor begins his sermon. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bring this man and this woman together in blessed and holy matrimony. To bond Peter Alec Whitman and Emma Lillian Carson together for as long as they both shall live."
The pastor goes on, but Emma can hardly hear anything, her mind overflowing with happy thoughts, memories of Peter, herself, and Sybil together. She doesn't need a fancy ceremony or a lengthy sermon to express their love, they had all they needed.
"We will now hear the vows of each individual." the pastor says.
Peter goes first.
"Emma Carson, I knew from the first moment that I saw you that you would be my wife. Even though I didn't even know your name then, I knew someway, somehow, we would be together. When I went up to introduce myself, it felt like I was jumping off a cliff into the vast ocean. The ocean of love and passion. It was never your fair looks or status that drew me to you. It was your wonderful smile and infectious laughter that made me want to be with you for as long as I could. The love you give to others is rare to find, rarer that some even some treasures in the world. The joy you create also has no price; your radiant and passionate lust for life could move the earth in the most amazing ways. You never let anything hurt you or others and nothing will ever get in your way if it means protecting what you love. But most of all, it is you, who you are that I love the most. No matter what obstacles may befall us, I know that our love will always be there and flourish with the brightest light that even God himself can't create. I love you forever and ever."
Emma takes a deep breath, trying to fight back happy tears. The hair comb winking in the setting sun as she clings tightly to his hand.
"When I was growing up, I'd always been told that there was no such thing as the perfect man, that he was merely a fantasy created in fairy tales. But I knew that the minute you came up to me and asked me to dance that you were the perfect and only man for me. Your smile, your passion, your heart, its what makes me love you more and more each day. I could never have asked for more of a perfect man to talk to me, to comfort me...to love me the way you do. I also love that you've been there for me through the thick and the thin. You welcomed Sybil with open arms, understanding that she means just as much to me as you do. You were there for me in my darkest hour and managed to get me to smile again, see the light when all seemed dark, give me hope when I saw none. And now, standing here today, I can't help but feel that you are more perfect than I could have ever imagined. I love you Peter Whitman...forever and always."
Rose's eyes are filled with tears as she watches the two exchange vows. Their love for each other is so pure, so hopeful, so passionate so...perfect. Her heart breaks slightly, wishing... wanting to have what the young couple had. Her mind goes to the steel tycoon who could give her what she needed. She then looks over at Jack, the man who could give her what she wanted and more. Deep down she knew all along that he was perfect for her, it just took her little longer to get there and understand it. That fire that Jack had talked about, now engulfs her entire body, the fire that would very much be doused if she married Cal. Jack fans the flame inside of her, so much so that it could burn for eternity...forever...and always.
"Do you, Peter Whitman, take Emma Carson to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?"
"I do," Peter says
"And do you, Emma Carson, take Peter Whitman to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?"
Emma smiles. "With all my heart I do."
"By the power vested in me and by the loving hand of God there to guide you, I pronounce thee man and wife. You may now kiss the bride"
Emma leaps forward, wrapping her arms around Peter and kissing him with all her might. Her tears now pouring down her face in pure euphoria and joy. Peter holds her just as tightly and kisses her with just as much passion. The crowd around them applauds and begin cheering. Some of the men throw their hats in the air and the ladies toss rice as the couple remains embraced. Emma eventually breaks from her hold on her husband and pulls her sister into the hug as well. Sybil manages a tired smile, very close to falling asleep. The couple carries Sybil down the aisle, laughing and cheering following them as the aisle melds into a crowd of congratulating people.
As the excitement continues, Rose slowly wipes the tears from her eyes, she could not be happier for Emma and Peter. Her smile is the widest it had been in a long while. She keeps her distance from the insanely happy crowd, that buried the couple in joy and praise. Rose didn't want to look at Jack, at least not yet.
"All the ladies gather round," the elderly woman shouts. "It's time for the bouquet tossing."
All the eager faces of the happy third and second-class passenger-women gather as Emma shuts her eyes.
"Here's to a lucky woman for a blessed wedding union," Emma yells. And throws.
The wind carries the small makeshift bouquet up and over many eager hands. The sounds of excitement carry upwards as all the women hope for the chance to grab the flowers.
The flowers land at Rose's feet. With little hesitation, she picks them up off the deck.
"Congrats to the young lassie!" an Irish voice yells. "Now off to the dining hall the lot of you. It's getting cold out here."
As the crowd disperses, Rose sits down on the deck, stroking the petals of the small bouquet. A tear rolls down her cheek as she plucks a petal off. It's a white rose. She lets it blow away in the wind.
She stands back up to see Jack standing at the rail of the bow, gazing out at the sunset.
"Hello Jack," she says gently. Jack turns to her.
Rose swallows. "I changed my mind."
Rose can almost see a smile on Jack's face.
"They told me you might be up here and..."
"Shh!" Jack says, holding his arm out to her. "Give me your hand."
Rose looks at him strangely but reaches out to him.
"Now, close your eyes..." he waits. "Go on close them."
Rose closes her eyes.
"Step up. Now hold on to the railing. Don't peek."
"I'm not," Rose says.
"Step on the rail. Hold on, keep your eyes closed. Don't peek. Do you trust me?"
"I trust you," Rose says without any hesitation.
Jack slowly lifts her arms out as if she was about to grow wings. He puts his hand on her waist.
"Alright... open your eyes," he whispers.
Rose gasps with amazement as the wind took her hair and her arms sprouted wings, wings that were beautiful and free.
"I'm flying!" She whispers. "Jack!"
Jack is slowly humming Come Josephine in My Flying Machine in her ear.
The couple watches as the sun glows, sinking on the horizon. Rose closes her eyes, feeling herself floating weightless far above the sea. She smiles dreamily, then leans back, gently pressing her back against his chest. He pushes forward slightly against her. Slowly he raises his hands, arms outstretched, and they meet hers... their fingertips gently touching. Then their fingers intertwine. Moving slowly, their fingers caress through and around each other like the bodies of two lovers.
Jack tips his face forward into her blowing hair, letting the scent of her wash over him until his cheek is against her ear. Jack reaches his hands out and they sail along together.
Rose's heart is beating at an alarming rate. She can feel that the spark had ignited a burning inferno. She never felt more in love, more empowered than now. Nothing else mattered anymore except Jack and their love. Rose is free of the burdens she carried for so long and had taken flight. She was leaving everything else behind, not caring what would happen anymore, as long as she had Jack with her.
Her head leans back so she and Jack are face to face. Rose turns her head until her lips are near his. Their eyes on each other, their breath mixing together as one. Their lips touch started touching slightly. She lowers her arms, turning further until she finds his mouth with hers. He wraps his arms around her from behind, and they kiss like this with her head turned and tilted back, surrendering to him, to the emotion, to the inevitable. They kiss, slowly and tremulously, and then with building passion. Jack leans forward more and Rose opens her mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss and connect on another level. Jack's arms went around her and she pulls him closer, running her fingers through his hair.
Jack and the ship seem to merge into one force of power and optimism, lifting her, buoying her forward on a magical journey, soaring onward into a night without fear.
She has now passed the path that Emma had mentioned, and she is no longer walking, but flying along, she had opened a new path for herself. A new journey with a new destination.
In a brief break between kisses...
"Forever and always," Rose whispers.
"Forever and always." Jack agrees.
As she and Jack step down from the rail, Rose takes out the glove that Emma had returned to her. Without a second of hesitation, she lets the wind carry the small white thing away.