Irina slowly opened her eyes, her eyes getting accustomed by the light as she did so. Her head was cushioned by multiple pillows and the fire from across the room looked to have been rekindled. The logs had barely turned black.

Her eyelids were heavy and she felt exhausted but no pain, only sore muscles. The type of feeling you'd get after a day of exercise, nothing severe. She licked her lips and her eyebrow rose in question when she tasted a metallic yet sweet flavor, she knew it was blood.

But how...? her thoughts were cut short when the door of the room opened and the sound of boots against stone was heard.

The elf saw Serana approaching with a potion in her hands, she held the bottle with one hand on the neck and the other on the body. It was one of the same that Irina had seen littered around the castle.

Once Serana made it to the bed she sat on the edge and set the bottle down in her lap. Serana spoke after a moment of silence, "how are you feeling? You look just about ready to fight again"

Irina flexed her arm and moved it around a bit causing the blanket that was around her chest to lower slightly revealing the top of her breasts. In the time she slept she was still only in her small-clothes.

"Fine, I don't feel any pain from moving…How long was I asleep for?" she asked sitting upright and pulling up the sheets to cover her bosom, the nord tried to remember "around two days I'd say, a little less? I was giving you potions of blood to speed up the healing for your burns. Silver is the worst metal for undead"

"The potions did their job, thank you Serana" she said in courtesy, the nord smiled in return.

"Where's my armor?"

Serana pointed at the wardrobe from across the room, "I placed the armor in that wardrobe, do you want me to go and get it for you?"

The bosmer nodded in appreciation and the nord swiftly went to go fetch it. When the nord came back to her Irina removed the sheets and stood up from the bed, the small-clothes left little to the imagination and Serana swallowed nervously at seeing more of the bosmer than what she expected.

"Don't be shy now, we're both women. Nothing too different to look at" Irina spoke with a half-teasing voice.

"Oh, please..."

As the woman strapped herself into her armor, Serana watched with a curious glance. Irina had obtained new marks to her body, four perfectly small circles. Serana spotted them easily since she had been the one to relieve the woman of the bolts herself, two in the arm, one in the stomach and one on her thigh.

New scars to her body, ones that could be mistaken for birth marks given their size.

"I think I might take a small respite from the castle, all I've been doing in these walls is sleep. It's not very appealing" Irina remarked as she adjusted her gauntlets. She looked properly suited for an adventure, her armor was beautiful as well it shone against the dim light of the fireplace. Pale blue armor against bronze skin, it was quite the combination.

"And where would you go? Do you have someone to go home to?" Serana asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well- yes, actually. But I'm not concerned with my husband, I want to see my loved ones. He is not counted among them..." Irina trailed off with a shrug. She looked eager to get up and out of the castle.

"I'm not going to ask about that, unless you want to share- but It's your business." Serana said with her hands in the air.

Irina shook her head and leaned against the dresser, "There's not much to tell, I married him for business relations. Unfortunately, he's quite in love with me now. I'm sure he's aware of my lack of interest, we've not spoken very intimately in quite a while. Married only on parchment" she added the last part with a nonchalant shrug.

"Moving on from your husband... is it alright if I come with you? I get pretty bored in the castle and found your company quite nice." she added the last part as if it were natural.

Irina gave her a grin, "I don't see why not, we should get a head start on the journey. I'd hate to be trapped in another snow storm"

As they made their way out the castle and to the docks Irina held out her hand and collected the snow before squeezing the clump within her hand.

"Where are we headed off to first?"

"Whiterun and Riften are the two that're on my mind mostly. Lots of friends there, and a pilgrimage to High Hrothgar would be great but I'd hate to have you exhausted on the trip. But we'll see" she said as her fingers worked to untie the boat from the dock.

Irina seated herself within the jetty and glanced to the nord to follow, she climbed into the boat and placed delicate hands in her lap. Irina grabbed the oars and began to row the two of them across the water. As they began to move Serana focused more on the ocean, she enjoyed the peaceful silence for a short while.

"I told Garan Marethi that we were leaving for a short time. Had to make sure they knew we wouldn't be in the castle for long"

"That's appreciated, it covers my hide. I would hate for it to look like I was running off with this new power. Your father seems like a cautious man, I expect it'll take time to earn his trust."

Serana nodded in acknowledgement, "is that why you were okay with letting me come with?"

Irina gave her a half-grin, "that's a part of the reason, though don't pretend to act offended, I know you just wanted out of that dreary castle."

The other woman opened her mouth to speak, to say something witty but the words didn't come.

They got caught up in her throat when she focused on the elf's neck, where her father's bitemark was. Her retort died completely and her mind filled suspicion toward the bosmer, she agreed so willingly and abandoned her position in the Dawnguard. Granted, she had no idea how the Dawnguard operated but even so... Did power tempt her that much?

"That castle has It's moments... but yes, I did want to leave and explore." She said.

Irina gave a knowing hum and continued to row in a companionable silence.

The trip wasn't as exhausting as Irina thought it would be, a solid six to seven hour journey by carriage. They'd left in the early hours of the morning and had the oppurtunity to watch the sun rise as they rode away from Solitude to Whiterun.

Six to seven hours of nothing but thoughts and the occasional small talk with Serana.

Three years since she'd last been to Whiterun, and anywhere else really. How much has changed, and how much hadn't changed? It was nerve-racking to think about. Especially since she had made the decision to live amongst the Greybeards for that long, it wasn't a planned time-frame nor was it a planned decision.

She felt as if though she needed some wisdom and guidance in her life. She'd hit her twentieth year while she recovered from her fight with Alduin, right on that mountain.

In her mind, her purpose in Skyrim was gone without the dragon bringing terror across the countryside. While she was overjoyed at the fact that she had won the battle of a life-time, the elf didn't know what to do next. What adventure could top defeating the World-Eater? What else was there to do in life?

The Greybeards helped her mind mature, and being on a deserted mountain helped with many distractions that were no longer present.

As she began to become more immersed in their teachings and way of life, she stopped writing letters. Eventually she stopped receiving them altogether, she didn't really know why she had stopped writing, but she did. Irina had found herself becoming more and more inclined to meditation and focusing her thu'um into a precise force.

The isolation had helped her keep her focus, spiritually she needed answers that only the woman could find for herself. Her masters influenced her only a little, her newfound way of thinking was a journey that she walked herself. As a result, her mind was never more clear. She found herself no longer prone to anger.

Something had motivated her to leave High Hrothgar. She couldn't place a finger as to why or what it was, but there was a sinking feeling that was in her chest. Like something was amiss with the world below her, similar to a call to duty. The idea was almost laughable, as she was no soldier. However, the feeling wasn't wrong.

The civil war was still at a standstill but the threat of vampires became more apparent and Irina knew that was the new problem she needed to deal with. A new crisis, a new purpose.

Irina brought herself back to the present and glanced at the road ahead, she could see Dragonsreach from afar. Would she be there? Looking as glorious as ever in her steel armor? Or had she perished somewhere out in the field defending Whiterun from any stormcloaks? So many possiblities for the woman to be anywhere out in battle.

She hadn't paid any attention to where her feet brought her and Irina didn't realize they dismounted the carriage until she was face-to-face with the gates of Whiterun. Her companion glanced to her with a curious gaze, "You seem off, Irina. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Only a little nervous to return to society, well- return to people that know me. It's been three years and I'm expecting an earful for not writing any letters." she said.

Serana looked confused "Three years is a small piece of time, compared to my standards. But I suppose for mortals It's a fair amount, did you leave the province for that long?"

Irina shook her head. "I didn't leave the province, I left to High Hrothgar. I needed to find myself spiritually, may not have been exactly to the ways of Jurgen Windcaller but... I am more at peace than I was three to four years ago"

The vampires eyes widened at the statement, spiritual healing... Serana could use a bit of that. She'd never had someone in her life to guide her through anything, not even her own parents. She supposed that Irina was the same considering she thought the best course of action was to isolate herself at the throat of the world.

A plethora of questions came to the front of Serana's brain but she let them pass, Irina looked nervous enough already. Now was hardly a time to probe into her past.

They passed through the gates and Irina felt the smell of the city hit her. The scent of the forge was first, heating up ores into ingots. It was nostalgic, no one was outside yet. Adrianne must have been somewhere inside the shop. As the pair walked deeper into the city, the smell of bread from the Drunken Hunstmen filled Irina's nose.

A look to her right and she noticed her small home, Breezehome. Cozy little home, fit for a spouse and child. Irina had mentioned briefly as a joke to Erikur about leaving the capitol and deciding to raise a son in the home. This was a joke at the beginning of their marriage, where he only wanted her for her body.

He denied the idea with a gentle laugh and shake of his head.

Thank the divines for that.

The man would've been more than happy to oblige to that now.

"It's the same as I remember it to be…" she spoke fondly. Serana took in the city for herself and thought the layout was a little strange.

"What a curious city…it's so open" the black-haired nord said.

They passed into the wind district walking by a few houses and the temple of Kynareth, just over the tiny bridge to the center of the district was the Gildergreen. Irina marveled in It's beauty, how long ago did she restore the tree? It still looked as healthy as the day she first gave it sap. Irina took a glance to Serana and figured that she would appreciate that story but the nord too entranced with everything around her that she decided to save it for another day.

She looked so englufed with the city.

"Irina? Is that you?" a child's voice asked.

Irina turned around as did Serana, they found themselves both staring back at a boy who looked no older than thirteen. His eyes widened with excitment and a big smile graced his features, "It is you! It's been so long since you last came to Whiterun!"

"Lars... good to see you again, how's your father?" the boy pointed behind him and said in a drawled tone "he's stationed somewhere in the rift, but judging from his letters he's been doing alright" Irina nodded in understanding and spoke once more "you've gotten so much taller than when I last saw you" Lars before came up past her waist but now was almost past her shoulder. Granted, Irina was short to begin with but still.

"As soon as you defeated Alduin, my da let me practice my swordsmanship. I'm getting a new a steel one from Eorlund Gray-Mane but that's a secret from my family" he said in a hushed tone so only the two women could hear, Serana thought the boy was cute walking around with a sword at his belt since it was made to fit his size.

It looked small, and was certainly not capable of piercing steel. Irina chuckled and patted his head "I promise I won't say a word" he smiled and blushed at her fingers brushing through his hair.

"Lots of people missed you, Irina. Are you planning on returning to High Hrothgar anytime soon?" he asked her. There was a pleading tone in his voice and Serana felt her heart being touched at the concern the bosmer had from the boy. Irina gave him a reassuring smile and shook her head, "I'm not planning on it, I'll try to visit some more given there's no more dragons lurking about in the skies"

"With Alduin gone, I doubt it" he said with his arms crossed.

"You never know child, there are many still alive out there. Always keep an eye on the skies" she said with a faraway tone. Lars shivered at the thought and shook his head, a small pout graced his face "no way, that's why you're here."

Irina chuckled and nodded, "that's what I'm here for. Go on now, you need to discretely fetch some steel from a certain somebody."

Lars waved her goodbye to which she lazily returned. "He said Alduin, the World-Eater..."

"You killed Alduin, the World-Eater." Serana said with a shocked tone.

Irina let out a disagreeable sigh "defeated, would be the correct word, I didn't absorb his soul when he fell."

The elf remembered the battle like it was yesterday, she had been covered in her own blood and some of Alduin's when she came from Sovngarde, her muscles were sore, two of her ribs shattered and her arm had been broken. If it hadn't been for the heroes of old fighting with her, she would not have stood a chance.

"I can only imagine the number of people it took to bring him down" the undead nord spoke in amazement as they proceeded to the Gildergreen.

"Not as many as you'd imagine. Only four, including myself and three of them were souls residing in sovngarde. We combined the power of our thu'um to keep him at bay..." Irina trailed off stupidly, while Serana had been listening but also admiring the Gildergreen Irina had taken a glance behind her back, her orbs locked themselves onto a certain nord with brown hair and her voice caught up in her throat.

Serana looked to her with a confused expression and followed to where her eyes were, down in the center of the marketplace.

Stores were barely just opening and already there was a handful of people purchasing goods. Irina's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the brunette, it couldn't have been who she thought it was. When did Lydia ever rise early? Yet no one else had those distinct scars strewn across her shoulders and forearms.

"by the eight…" The dragonborn murmured quietly walking down the stairs to the plain district and past a few imperial soldiers.

The brunette's eyes found Irina's gaze and she tilted her head to the side in bewilderment, though upon realization the brown haired nord widened her eyes and she brought a hand to her mouth. They both registered each other at the same time.

Irina had basically ran to the woman with how fast she'd moved, Serana followed behind with a confused expression. "thane, is that really you?" asked the housecarl.

It was Lydia.

Her hair had grown past her shoulders and she looked slimmer if not younger than before. Her build was more feminine and the elf could tell that she was out of practice with a sword. She looked so tender and filled with life. The joy Irina felt in her chest brought a pink hue to her cheeks, Serana could see the admiration in her eyes.

Irina nodded and she began to smile brightly "Lydia…you look different, how are you?" Serana seemed surprised at how Lydia addressed her as thane, and didn't the courier from Windhelm address her as thane also?

"I've been well, 'Ri" The elf chuckled at the use of the old nickname, something the woman had taken to calling her after a child had failed to pronounce her name correctly. "I'm actually…" Lydia trailed off placing a hand on her stomach. Irina's eyes widened taking notice of the woman's rounded stomach.

She was pregnant and by the roundness of her belly, she was due soon.

Seeing her shocked expression made Lydia laugh softly. A beautiful sound. "this is no place to talk after so long, let's go into Breezehome I hope you're not mad I've been living there for a while"

The elf blinked back into focus and shook her head "n-no, of course not…I haven't even stepped inside Breezehome since Alduin, b-by all means you may have it" Lydia smiled in appreciation. There was a connection between the two that Serana noticed almost immediately. She couldn't quite place what it was, but she could see the knowingness behind Lydia's smile and warm presence.

Lydia turned to face her and spoke "and what's your name?" the black-haired woman smiled and made sure not to show her fangs, "my name is Serana, good to meet you"

"Likewise, my name is Lydia but I'm sure you caught up on that, come on we'll go inside and talk some more" the two vampires nodded while the housecarl lead them to Breezehome.

"I mainly kept everything the same as how it was when you left, didn't want to tamper with anything you had after all, I always knew you'd come back" Lydia said with a confident tone in her voice. Irina smiled and pulled out two chairs for herself and Serana, the three of them were seated by the fire set in the living room. Irina took a glance at Lydia's stomach and asked, trying not to sound annoyed "so who's the father? And how far along are you?"

"I want to say I'm six months, I can't really tell myself. The father is Vilkas, from the companions. We've been wed for nearly a year" Irina's jaw went slack, her and Vilkas? That was a match she could've never seen coming… she had missed a lot the last three years.

"That's certainly a surprise, I never knew you talked to any of the companions."

"Well after the news of you killing the World-Eater reached us, the jarl had thrown a celebration in Dragonsreach the entire city had been allowed inside the keep. That same night we formally met, and... oh my, was he so charming" Lydia explained with a light blush, the elf put on a strained smile and nodded.

Irina had expected anything else.

Quite literally, anything else. The pain in her chest was something she'd never felt before, she knew where it was from and yet... well, three years was quite the length of time and despite how long it took for the bosmer to realize her own feelings, she was too little too late. Lydia spoke of Vilkas with such admiration, Irina knew whatever small spark had been between them was long gone.

"Lydia, I came here to tell you something important and hopefully you can relay the message to a few others in town, I just wanted to hear your answer personally."

The housecarl raised an eyebrow, her smile faltered and she gave the bosmer her full attention. She awaited the dragonborn's answer and when Irina opened her mouth, she found it hard to speak. Her mind was plagued with one too many thoughts of regret and uncertainty, could anyone blame her?

Serana leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she gave the bosmer a light squeeze. The nord was no fool, her heartache was masked well but Serana was an outsider looking in and with an objective eye, she could see the woman's pain clear as day.

"Tell me, Irina."

The bosmer bit her jaw before she decided to speak.

"I've once again turned to vampirism. Instead of contracting the disease, in this instance... I had been offered the choice of remaining mortal or becoming immortal. I know the last time I had the affliction it was purely accidental but this time was not, I chose this" she'd said the words slowly to let them sink in.

The brunette sat and listened to her words. One look into Irina's eyes and Lydia could see the truth for herself, how she didn't notice earlier was beyong her.

Her lips parted slightly as if she didn't know what to say, her expression was one filled with confusion. Her brows furrowed deeply and Irina felt as if she were against the willingness of her vampirism. After all, contracting the disease by accident was sure to happen to those who travelled. Serana could sense the nervousness of the woman and gave her shoulder another squeeze.

Lydia asked "how did this come to be? Last I heard about you, you joined the Dawnguard, they hunt vampires don't they…Why did you choose vampirism? Don't you know that the Dawnguard will discover of your betrayal soon?" her tone only implied perplexity and concern. Instead she seemed to harbor a fear for Irina not toward her.

"I don't expect you'll like the answer, you've never enjoyed it when we would speak of it. Though I hope at least you, would remember why I would do something as drastic as this"

"I wouldn't be able to...- no, I have an idea. You did it for power, but I know you're not as selfish as you make yourself out to be." Lydia said with a small smile.

Irina gave her a genuine smile.

One that could've melted the prison cells of other people's hearts, the bosmer never looked as expressive as she did today. Serana couldn't help but to stare in silent appreciation.

"I guess I can make do with that answer, thank you. For still understanding me, you're going to make me regret not asking for your hand earlier." Lydia dismissed her comment with a simple wave of her hand, although a light blush dusted her cheeks.

The mortal woman suppressed a smile, Irina was a gentle woman. No matter how nonchalant she seemed to the public, Lydia travelled the province with her for quite the length of time and was able to understand the inner workings of her mind.

She'd told Lydia something once, when she was very drunk almost four years ago, that she had wanted nothing more than one thing in the world. Irina had been thane of Whiterun as well as the thane of Falkreath, just when she barely discovered her dragonborn nature. Her life was going in all kinds of right directions, and so Lydia had to ask her why she would risk life and limb for people she never even met and her explanation startled her.

Irina sat by their makeshift fire, sitting atop a small boulder and swishing the contents of her fifth ale. She loved her drinks strong, the faster she could intoxicate herself the more she liked them. A disapproving habit of the fabled dragonborn, but nobody would dare question it.

"Can I ask you something, thane?"

"You can ask me anything you like, and you don't need to keep referring to me as thane" Irina added the second half of her sentence with a reassuring grin. The night sky was well-lit thanks to the full moons. Nasser and Secunda. They were a lovely pair.

"How is it that you can help almost everyone we've come across? Were you always like this, or did being named thane of Whiterun light some fire in you?" Lydia didn't know if she sounded rude or not, but the question had been picking at her brain ever since they'd started traveling together.

Granted, they'd only been traveling together for two months now but in that time Irina had managed to bring a woman ten bear pelts, from bears that she'd slain and skinned herself. Deliver supplies to the Greybeards for a man in Ivarstead, search in a cave for an old beggar's helmet in Solitude...

The list could go on and on.

"I understand the confusion, I do. That being said, are you going to do it for me?" Irina asked her with a half-grin. The question made Lydia raise an eyebrow in confusion, she did not understand.

"I don't understand what you're asking me" Lydia said.

"Let me ask you a different question then, that little girl in Whiterun the beggar child- what was her name...?" Irina trailed off with a finger to her chin.

"Her name is Lucia." came the swift response from her housecarl.

Irina gave her a knowing look and nodded, "lucia. Sweet little girl, a tragic story with her mother. So, to get back on track... you know Lucia. A beggar child with nowhere to go and barely any food to eat. How often do you give her money? How often do you help her with food?"

Lydia remaiend quiet. There were a few occasions where she'd gone out of her way to give the child some leftover food in the kitchens but that was only a rare occasion where she'd actually thought of the girl. Everytime she passed the child in the wind district, she wished she had brought some food with her at the sight of seeing her.

But out of sight out of mind...

"Not often enough." Lydia said with a soft voice.

"Not often enough, indeed. I'm not judging you for that either, you don't need to spend all day thinking about the hopelessness of others or take the weight of their depsair. However, I'm a different person... I tend to feel their pain, as if I'm the one actually experiencing their heartache. Which is foolish, and even arrogant to say" Irina said with a clarity to her voice that made Lydia believe she wasn't as drunk as she let on.

"I can agree with the last part, you know not of their suffering... However, I can respect your noble heart. You haven't been crushed by the world yet-"

"I can assure you, pretty woman. I'm no stranger to suffering and I've tried to be selfish... but It's not in my character to be cruel" Irina chuckled softly. She sighed and looked at Lydia with a lazy grin, the nord felt her cheeks redden.

The housecarl averted her gaze and decided to drink some ale herself.

"I help people because I would like to think, that the kindness I gave to whomever in particular will spread that same gesture or feeling to someone else. Because I would like to see, before I depart this world- some sort of good in humans and mer."

"Before you depart this world?" Lydia asked.

"I know that my selflessness will be the end of me, I have it seen happen to others and I don't view myself above others to expect a different outcome. I will die in the service of the people, as a warrior or what have you-" Irina waved her hand in a grandoise gesture.

"It's my job to protect you and all that you own, so if anyone would be dying first. The chances are it to be me first." Lydia said with a determined look in her eye.

"My dear housecarl, you are too beautiful and strong-minded to be wasting away with me like that. I'd imagine you'd want a long life with children or a husband or wife, stories of adventure to pass on to friends... hm?" Irina painted a pretty picture. She was about to continue but a hand placing itself over top of hers made her go silent.

"Enough of that."

Lydia hadn't asked her about it the morning after, she had dismissed it as drunken ramblings.

But there were times when the elf had said something cryptic and vague, alluding to the fact that she wanted to die in battle or die doing something noble. They were always such subtle phrases and sometimes it would be the faraway look in her eye that brought the doubt back into Lydia's mind.

The poor woman.

Almost four years since that night, and still- she didn't have a single dream for herself.

Lydia could almost cry for her, almost. It was ironic that Lydia was feeling sorrow for someone who didn't even feel sorrow for themselves. Who was she to judge her way of life?

Lydia knew her well enough to know that Irina truly did not mind the thrill of adventure. In fact, it was probably what made the most of her good deeds, the thrill of doing the dangerous. Something along those lines.

Irina's voice brought her out of her musings and back to the present.

"So... I wanted to know if you would still accept my decision. Knowing that this was no accident" as soon as the words left her mouth the nord gave a smile, it was a beautiful smile. One that made the bosmer's ears burn "Irina please, I'm getting old... not afraid, of course I accept you" the wood elf let out a relieved sigh and after a few moments laughed lightly.

Irina shook her head "for some reason, I expected that to be your answer. I don't know why I was so nervous" Lydia walked over to her and clasped her forearm. "just to make a mental note on your part I'd like you to visit more often" Irina sheepishly smiled and nodded squeezing her forearm back in return.

"Rest assured that I will…" Irina managed out with a half-smile. Serana grinned to herself and removed her hand from the woman's shoulder. It was a relief to know that some piece of the woman's mind was at ease.

"Now then, how did you and my thane meet?" Lydia asked glancing over at Serana, who blinked in surprise but spoke nonetheless.

"That's a little complicated..."

The three women conversed for a long length of time, because when the two vampires left Breezehome it was midday. Irina let out a long and tired sigh, "I thought for a moment she was going to hack me into pieces, she may be pregnant but that woman's skills with a greatsword-" Irina shook her head and shuddered remembering one time they came across a bandit camp and Lydia cut an outlaw with two blows to his torso.

"Anyone else you want to speak with?" Serana asked her.

"I've already told her to tell others, she knows who I'm referring to so we needn't worry about that...though we cannot stay in Whiterun for much longer" granted they'd been inside a house for the majority of the time they'd been in the city but the elf couldn't take any chances with the Dawnguard up and about. Whiterun is where she had first met Durak, an orc who had stopped her in the middle of the road to ask her to join.

One could see how that made the elf worry, Serana spoke "do you want to start heading out?"

The elf nodded taking a look at Breezehome. "Yes, I don't want to endanger Lydia with the Dawnguard. Though with her husband being a companion, I don't imagine she'd be without protection" Serana nodded in understanding and they both continued to the city gates.

"So then, where to next?"

The elf hummed in thought and looked at her curiously, "do you think you'd be ready for a trek up a mountain? High Hrothgar, specifically"

Serana crossed her arms over her chest and smirked "of course I am" the dovahkiin smirked back as they continued forward.