Chapter 20: Polite Conversation
This chapter is in memory of Harold Bride, one of the heroes and survivors of the Titanic. This is also in honour of those men who bravely clung to Collapsible Boat B and survived the horrible night in the sea. And to those who passed away on this boat and tried to hold on till the very end. They will always be remembered.
Emma and Harold cling to the underside of the tiny lifeboat. Around them, the muffled screams of those unfortunate souls freezing and dying in the water haunting them as they float inches above the black sea. The boat occasionally rocks as either survivors climb aboard the upturned lifeboat or the more horrifying thought, the dead are falling off to a watery grave.
Tears fall from Emma's face. She prays that someway, somehow, Jack and Rose are safe.
"What a night eh?" Harold whispers.
Emma squints in the dark to make out the face of this man. He's young, can't be more than twenty years old at the most. His legs hang limply over the water, one bend at a weird angle. He breaths profusely as he tries to catch his breath and calm himself. Emma assumes that he wants to simply chat with her to distract both of them from the disaster they had both just witnessed.
"Yes," she sighs. "What a night."
"Got family waiting for you in New York then?" he asks.
"No..." Emma says. "I lost my mom a few months back and my father last month."
"I-I'm sorry," Harold says.
"I've only got my husband and my baby sister."
"Were they on the ship?" he asks.
"They were, but they managed to get away on a boat,"
"How come you didn't go with them?" Harold pauses. "Forgive me... I-I stepped out of line... "
"It's all right," Emma says. "In such a situation, manners are the last thing I'm concerned about. I went to help a friend, who's loved one had been arrested and trapped down in the ship."
"Did you save him?"
"We did...but it seemed fruitless in the end. They-they are probably among those in the water now..."
Emma can feel more tears come to her eyes and she sniffles loudly.
"I-I'm sorry." she squeaks.
"That's quite alright," he says, and Emma can faintly see him nod towards her. "But help is coming..."
Emma's heart skips a beat.
"It is?!" she gasps. "When? Where? How do you know that?"
"I'm the junior wireless operator of the ship," Harold explains. Emma can hear a slight bit of pride in his voice over his title. "My partner, Jack Phillips and I were working until the water came into the room. We received several responses from ships, including her sister Olympic, but the Carpathia is on her way."
"How far away?!" Emma asks, hope filling her up with warmth and excitement.
"They were four hours away last we spoke to them."
Emma's heart sank, her stomach twisting up and she let more tears fall on her cheeks.
"Most of them will be dead by then," she whimpers. Her body begins to shake with sobs, rocking the boat slightly.
Harold sighs and remains silent. Reality has hit Emma and it has hit her hard. There was little chance that those who were still aboard as the ship went down will survive until rescue could come. She knew as well as anyone that in such cold waters, people had a twenty-minute or less lifespan. She begins to pray that the lifeboats are going to pick up as many survivors as possible and hopefully Jack and Rose are among them. They are strong, and they had each other, they had to have survived.
"I can barely see you, but your dress is quite noticeable. What was the occasion?" Harold says, breaking the prolonged silence.
"I just got married on the bow of the ship last night," Emma explained. She sniffles again and thought of her wedding. It seemed like such a long time ago and yet, it had only been a few hours. She thought of all the caring and loving people who were kind enough to attend and help with the ceremony. All those people might be dead by now. Jack's friends, that kindly old woman, the pastor...even the children...
She sighs once more and wipes the tears from her face with her good hand.
"Congratulations," Harold says with as much enthusiasm he can muster.
"Thank you," Emma says, smiling even though she knows Harold can't see it.
They are quiet again for quite some time. The boat continues to rock back and forth, swaying both of them and letting out more air. They remain in their stiffened positions until they see the water is almost upon them.
"Do you think we should see if there's room on top?" Harold asks. "The air won't last much longer and soon the water will soak us to the bone."
"Yes..." Emma says quietly.
Harold begins to lower himself into the water and Emma hears him gasp in pain.
"What?" Emma asks.
"Bloody ankle, I think it's broken and the cold is not helping much either."
Emma begins to lower herself off the seat, making cracking noises as her dress had frozen to the seat. She feels the sharp pain come back to her shoulder and she moans, biting her lip to keep herself from screaming and scaring Harold.
"Are you, all right?" Harold asks.
"I was shot in the shoulder by someone. I guess in the chaos they didn't know that they would hit someone."
"Will you be okay?"
"I think so."
Emma braces herself as her feet hit the water. It still felt like a thousand knives stabbing her as her body meets the cold again.
"I'll go under first," Harold explains. "Follow me closely."
Emma nods and she hears Harold take a deep breath and submerge. Her heart is pounding as she treads water in the blackness that threatens to swallow her up and drag her down into oblivion. She can see her breath and she can feel her eyes tearing up again. She holds the edge of the boat, so she knows where she's going through the darkened void beneath her.
Under and up! she thinks to herself. Under and up!
She takes a deep breath and goes under.
The cold threatens to cause her body to seize up and sink, but Emma pushes herself onwards. She blows out bubbles and pushes her head up. She looks around and can see the stars looming above. It looks so beautiful. She turns to see Harold struggling to climb on top of the boat.
"Make way! Make way!" a voice yells out.
"There's a woman down here!" Harold yells. "She and I need to get aboard. The woman is wounded!"
"Someone pull them up!" the same voice yells. Emma can faintly see and hear the water lap at her face as the body of Harold Bride is pulled on top.
Emma reaches over and feels the slippery pattern of the boat's wood.
"Can I get some help, please?" Emma asks. "I was shot in the shoulder."
Two pairs of hands come down and Emma grabs for them. With much effort, she manages to help the men, even a little bit to get out of the water.
The boat immediately rocks forward, the weight of Emma being pulled tips it dangerously forward. Emma immediately grasps for the wood, trying to get some traction. Her arm also explodes in pain as she's pulled up and out of the frigid water.
The cold nips at her nose and hair and Emma does her best to curl up into a ball to conserve her remaining body heat. At least, under the boat, she was protected a little bit. Here, she could die of exposure. She can hardly see anything, except the shapes of several other men, their dark figures contrasting against the starlit sky. She can hear their faint and exhausted breaths, doing their best to keep themselves alive. The boat continues to rock back and forth with the water splashing everyone on both sides.
"Let's level this boat out!" the officer in charge yells. "You Sir over here, go slowly as you can...careful...!"
Emma is happy to see yet another officer trying to keep calm in the face of danger. They attempt to put on a brave face at the moment of death and tragedy.
"You there in white, move towards your left more!"
Emma carefully moves herself to where the officer wants her to be and remains silent most of the time that they do this. There are several men on each side of her as they level the top of the boat out.
Everyone does as they are told, and they shift their weight constantly to keep the boat steady. Eventually, the boat is even, cold water laps at everyone's feet, which Emma does her best to avoid it, by curling into a ball.
"Does anyone know of a prayer we can say together?" a voice rings out from the boat. "Pray to our God."
Immediately, people begin calling out their religions and Emma mumbles hers to them. They are all from different walks of life and Emma swears she can hear Harold Bride call out his religion too. So many different people of different classes, come together in a time of disaster, scared and alone in the middle of the ocean.
"I think that it is best that we say the Lord's prayer," the same voice who had asked.
In almost unison, everyone begins to say a prayer they all knew from their days in grade school and masses.
"Our Father who art in heaven..."
As they say this, Emma looks up at the sky, the stars shine just like they did in her dream, like diamonds and she can almost hear Peter saying that none of them were as lovely as her.
"Give us this day our daily bread..."
She simply then prays to God that Rose and Jack are okay, in a boat somewhere out there, safe and warm. She also prays for Peter and Sybil, who are probably shivering in a boat out there as well, praying the same thing for her safety.
"But deliver us from evil..."
After the prayer had been said, there is a long silence. Extremely long. The only thing heard is an occasional sniffle or even a sob from one of the men around her. The lapping of the water is soothing in a way as they floated along the great black sea. Emma keeps herself curled into a ball and hides her face, crying once again. The silence is torture for her as well because she knew that this meant that most of those innocent people in the water are dead. She thought about her friends out there...they had to be okay... they were so perfect together and she and Rose went through so much trouble to rescue Jack. They were okay, they are survivors.
"Would you like some whiskey?" a man asks beside her. Emma can barely see a shiny, metal flask being held out her.
"Thank you," Emma says. She takes the flask and puts it to her lips. The strong smell of whiskey stings her nose and she takes a swig. She winces as the strong taste hits her dried mouth and throat. With much difficulty, she swallows it and she hands the flask back to the big man. She thought of all times she curled up with her father in his favourite chair as he read the evening paper, a glass of whiskey and ice in one hand and Emma under his other. He would read her the headlines and then simply cuddle with her in comforting silence until she fell asleep in his arms. Emma longed to feel her father's warm embrace again, sitting next to him by the fire. She had been so cold for so long, she wondered if she would ever be warm again. All feeling had gone from most of her body, even where she had been shot, is numb, with an occasional sting of pain.
As the night wears on, there were the occasional splashes as something hits the water. Emma does her best to ignore them and puts her hands over her ears, trying not to cry anymore. Those splashes are those who have succumbed to the cold and lost their grip on the boat.
Soon the daylight began to shine over the horizon. Emma stares at the sight, realizing that the night of hell and death, was over...at least partially. She couldn't bear to see such beauty after nature had taken so many lives.
The sea begins to pick up and the boat rocks dangerously again.
"On your feet, everyone!" the officer in charge yells. "We must keep this thing afloat as long as possible. We're losing air!"
Emma holds the man who gave her the whiskey and slowly gets to her feet. She does her best not to slip, but the smooth and now she can see, on the white wood of the lifeboat
"Everyone, face the bow, where I am! Two rows please!"
Emma stands in the row on the starboard side, cold water again laps at her ankles now. She tries to curl her toes, but there is no feeling left.
"Careful, Careful!" The officer yells. "Shift to the left... now to the right...left!"
The lone girl on the boat does as she is ordered. Eventually, all the survivors are working in unison to keep the boat's weight even to prevent anyone from being swamped. The officer then leads the groups in shouting "Boat ahoy" as loudly as possible and in unison. The water does begin to rise again as the tiny lifeboat loses its air. The frigid liquid now reaches their knees. She clings to the shoulders of the man in front of her and squints as the sun begins to rise. The officer's voice and the other men's voices become a mere drone to her as Emma shifts her weight as told as if she is a soldier marching off to battle.
The morning comes forward in a blaze of glory and the stars vanish from the sky.
"Boat Ahoy!" one of the men yells.
Emma can feel her heart racing, warming ever so slightly as she realizes she's going to be safe.
She eagerly wants to look around the men standing in front of her to see the ship, but she realizes her excitement could kill someone in the process.
The officer in charge blows his whistle and attempts to signal to the boat
"Come about!" the distant officer in the other boat calls.
Emma can feel some relief as another boat of the same pale colour comes up to them.
"One at a time please," another stern voice calls out.
Emma's heart starts pounding as she impatiently waits her turn to be put in the boat.
She sees the friendly face of the officer who had been directing them all night reach out and help her into the boat.
She's attacked with a blanket by one of the other survivors and she's made to sit on one of the benches.
Relief floods her entire body and feeling slowly starts coming back to her body.
Wrapped in a blanket, Emma puts pressure on her shoulder and lays back. She looks up as the stars fade in the morning light, she can feel as another tear goes down her face.
A loud voice eventually cries out. "There's the ship! I see a ship! God in heaven we're saved!"
Emma squints, trying to see the ship, the Carpathia, the saviour of the disaster, but she doesn't bother, she knows she's going to make it now.
"Row towards the ship!" the officer of the floating lifeboat orders.
She has survived her nightmare, scarred and frozen by it, but she's made it. All she had to do now was rest.