Chapter 23: Prisoner

"Ma 'me I assure you she'll be okay…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's minor hypothermia and dehydration, she will make a full recovery."

It's nothing, but darkness. The voices are loud and strong, and they make her headache. She's surrounded by something soft and the warmth around her is slightly comforting. Rose has little strength in her body; her joints feel stiff and her mouth is dry.

Very slowly she tests out her limbs to see if they are working. She doesn't want to open her eyes just yet to face a screechy voice that is oh so familiar. Questions begin shooting through her mind, but the major one is, where is…

"Jack…" Rose says weakly.

Ruth enters the cabin when she hears the noise.

"Rose darling, you're awake!" Ruth screeches falling to her knees in front of the bed Rose has been lying in. Tears are in her eyes and she pulls Rose into a tight embrace, so tight that Rose grunts in pain as her limbs are quite sore and her breath is being squeezed out of her.

"I'm so glad you're okay, I was so worried, you have no idea how worried I was, but then Cal saw you being brought on board and he carried you here to me, saved you from being thrown into third class…"

Rose blocks out anything else her mother says, she's still trying to process everything and come fully into consciousness again.

"I'll call the doctor over and have him look at you," Ruth says and leaves the cabin, locking it behind her.

Rose attempts to sit up, her body protesting for her to lay still. She lays in a bed in a small cabin with the heat turned up to the maximum. There are blankets all around her as well as cushions underneath her head. She pushes back a few of the thick blankets to bring herself into a sitting position. Across the room from her is a mirror. The figure staring back at her is thin and pale, with her face sunken in slightly and her flaming hair a matted, partially dried mess. She no longer looks beautiful nor does she feel like it. Her face is showing the experience of the sinking, someone who has seen horror and sadness, someone who has lost everything. Her green eyes reflect the sorrow and despair of the night's events. She then thinks about where this is coming from…

Jack! She had to find him. They were both in the lifeboat together when she passed out, he must be okay… he must.

She starts to get out of bed, pushing back the covers and sitting up fully. She looks down, realizing that she is in a heavy unknown nightgown and barefooted. She shudders thinking who took the time to put her in these things. Her body aches the entire time she tries to put her feet on the floor.

Just then Ruth comes back with the doctor. He is dressed in a white coat and carries his bag with him. Little does either of them know that this same doctor had just treated a young man with a bullet in his leg, who is heartbroken over the loss of his wife.

"Rose get back in bed!" Ruth orders.

"I need to find Jack!" she insists, the anger of her mother's word empowering her to rebel.

"You need to be in bed," Ruth says, back to her usual ways of ordering her daughter around to keep her in line.

"Please Mrs. Bukater, why don't you go get your daughter a cup of tea while I examine her?" the doctor suggests, attempting to keep the peace.

"If only Trudy were still here, she could fetch it…"

"Mother…!" Rose growls.

"PLEASE, Mrs. Bukater, it would be in your daughter's best interests to do as I ask," the doctor insists. Rose can tell by his voice that he is becoming impatient with her mother as well.

"Alright, I will be back shortly," Ruth sighs, leaving and locking the door behind her.

Rose still tries to get up and move.

"Please Miss, you need to lay down, so I can examine you,"

"I need to find Jack," Rose says again.

"You can find him as soon as you have fully recovered," the doctor says. "Please don't fight miss, you've been out for two days."

"Two days!" Rose says in shock.

"Yes, when you were brought aboard you were rolling in and out of consciousness and hardly able to walk, you had to be carried to this cabin here. I do recall that you did throw up at one point. Lay down for me please."

Rose decides there is no point in fighting right now, she still feels weak and she needs to take care of herself before she searches for Jack.

The doctor begins inspecting her legs and knees to see if anything is broken "Tell me if you feel any pain," he says. He talks as he works, he rotates her ankles to ensure there's no sprains or fractures. "Your mother insisted that I check on you every hour, but I told her I had other patients to tend to, she thinks that she is the most important person here…"

"She's like that," Rose sighs. "She's always been like that. I'm so sorry about that."

"No trouble, I can understand what she's going through. Almost everyone I've treated has either been in states of shock or hysteria. Your mother is one of hysteria. Anyway, there were others in much worse shape than you were," the doctor says, pressing on her stomach in which Rose winces slightly. "I had to help a gentleman who had two broken ankles and severe frostbite that he acquired in the sinking and another who nearly bled to death in a lifeboat."

Rose continues to lay back as the doctor checks her neck and rotating it. She can feel tears in her eyes thinking about all those who never made it to the boat.

"Besides, there wasn't much I could do until you regained consciousness. You were breathing so you were on my lower list of concerns."

"Of course," Rose says softly.

The doctor shines a light in both of her eyes to test her pupils.

"Do you feel sore anywhere?" the doctor asks.

"No sir," Rose says.

"You were one of the lucky few that was pulled from the water…"

"Doctor!" Rose says suddenly, catching him off guard. "Have you treated a young man by the name of Jack Dawson? He has blue eyes and blonde hair, he was wearing a white shirt and overalls"

The doctor ponders for a moment and shakes his head sadly. "I'm sorry, doesn't ring a bell, I've treated many patients over the past few days, it's hard to remember names, let alone faces."

"But wasn't there someone with me when I was brought aboard?!" Rose asks desperately. Her heart is slowly sinking with every rejection.

"I can't say, my dear, there are a few Jane and John Does in the infirmary, but none of them that I can recall matching your description."

Rose begins to cry into her hands.

"I'm so sorry, child, I really am. I also cannot allow you to go wandering the decks just yet. You are still very weak and dehydrated, I must insist you stay in bed until your strength returns. That cup of tea from your mother as well as other fluids should help you feel better very soon."

"But I can't leave him…" Rose sobs. "I promised."

"You can check the survivors' list," the doctor says, trying to give this girl at least some hope. "They've been making it for a few days now. Speaking of which, can I have your name, so I can give it to them?"

Rose takes in a deep breath. "Dawson, Rose Dawson."

The doctor does not question it as he writes it down on a scrap of paper until there is a knocking at the door.

The doctor opens it. Ruth stands there with a steaming cup of tea.

"Thank you, sir," she says politely. She brings the steaming cup of tea to the bedside table and sits beside her daughter. "How is she?"

"She's perfectly fine Mrs. DeWitt Bukater. Nothing is broken and there are no head injuries. She needs to stay warm and hydrated and soon she'll be her old self again."

"Thank you so much, doctor," Ruth says

The doctor packs his things and turns to leave.

"Doctor," Rose says. "One more thing,"

"Yes?"

"What ship is this?"

"The Carpathia, ma 'me"

"Thank you," Rose says and the doctor exits the cabin. Ruth gets up and locks the door as the man leaves.

Ruth looks over at her daughter tears coming to her eyes.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Ruth says. "I'd thought I'd lost you."

You would have… Rose thought. You should have.

All her hateful anger towards her mother comes back up to the surface. It seems she had done so much to escape the life she hated, only to be trapped once again in the world that was trying to put her in gold chains. Everything that had happened with Jack seems to have been in vain now.

"Well, …you didn't…" Rose says through gritted teeth.

"I've come to understand that everything you said on the boat was due to the stress and I felt so relieved that I would not have to explain our financial situation to the Hockleys..."

Rose's hands ball up into fists at this. It took every ounce of strength within her not to scream or punch her mother. So many people have just lost everything they had, their lives, their loved ones, their possessions; and all her mother could talk about was their own situation. To distract herself, Rose grabs the cup of tea and begins sipping it. Despite the bitter taste, the warmth of the liquid is comforting and would have been soothing if it wasn't for her mother's constant bantering.

She simply tunes out anything else her mother says and begins thinking about Jack. The doctor may not have treated him, but there's still a chance he's alive. His name could be on the survivors' list. He was always strong, and he was a survivor. It seems that all that effort to stay together would've been in vain had he not survived.

Rose spends the rest of the day drinking tea under the covers of her bed and being tortured by her mother's conversations. Her mother was doing her best to play nursemaid to her daughter but was failing miserably, she eventually had a nurse come in and help keep Rose hydrated. Rose wonders what she had done to deserve this treatment. She watches as her mother constantly leaves, locking the door behind her. She really was trapped in this first-class world once again.

When the nurse leaves as it begins to get dark, there is a knock at the door. Ruth goes to answer it.

"Caledon do come in," Ruth says.

Rose's heart jumps into her throat and she immediately recoils away from where Cal is entering. She moves to the farthest corner of the bed. She begins searching for an escape route but is unable to find one. Despite the night that he must have gone through to survive the horrible sinking, Cal still looks fairly presentable, his suit and tie still straightened, and his hair slicked back. He looks ready to go to a business meeting than to recover from the disaster.

Ruth shuts the door again as Cal comes closer to Rose. She pushes herself as far away from this man as possible, pressing her back against the wall.

Cal says nothing

"I'll leave you two alone," Ruth says and she exits, shutting the door behind her.

Cal sits on the edge of the bed, quite a distance from where Rose sits. He lets out a deep sigh. Rose refuses to look him in the eye, the haunting memories of what he'd done as she and Jack ran for their lives into the sinking ship. She curls up, pulling her legs to her chest to protect her body from him.

"You won't even look at me anymore."

Rose remains silent for a moment. "I hardly think you deserve it after what you did…" she says. "You unimaginable bastard."

Cal sighs. "I probably deserve that…"

"You do! And everything else you did, you're a monster,"

"I was…" Cal says calmly.

"ARE!" Rose snarls.

"Was" Cal insists. "Rose…I was heavily intoxicated that night and I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Using Sybil as bait and setting everything up hardly sounds like a man who was intoxicated!" Rose points out.

"I was also very angry and confused, I let my emotions get the best of me…"

"You tried to shoot at us…" Rose shouts.

"Please calm down Sweetpea."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she hollers.

"Please try to understand…"

"Understand that you're a monster!"

"I acted irrationally and foolishly, I was in a state of panic and I can hardly remember what happened after the robbery…"

"That's a lie!" Rose insists.

"Please, Sw…Rose try to understand. I regret my actions. I hate myself more and more each day. When I was in that lifeboat, I had a lot of time to think and I realized that I had indeed been a monster and acted out of anger. I saw the desperation of all those people, including the child I managed to save that night…"

Rose doesn't want to hear this, she turns away, tears still in her eyes. She does not want to hear any of this. His actions were inexcusable and she didn't want to be in the same room with him. She knows that everything he is saying is a lie, she had seen it before, something he did to allow someone to let their guard down before he attacked again.

"Why should I believe anything you say?"

"I can tell you about his fate…"

"Jack's?" Rose says. Her stomach begins to turn, perhaps Cal is pulling this stunt to gain her forgiveness

"Yes, his…" Cal says.

Rose looks at his face. She can see what looks like forced sadness.

"I'm sorry Rose… he didn't make it."

"You're lying!" Rose yells. "I know you are!"

"I wish I was. I didn't see him when you were brought on board, you were my priority at the time and I was very distracted by your condition that I forgot to check. Eventually, when you were safe, I knew you would want to know if he was alive, so I checked."

"You're lying you bastard!" Rose snaps.

"Please Rose!" he insists. Rose can actually see some tears in his eyes, but she is not buying it. "I did think that he may have survived until…"

"What?!" Rose says.

"I saw someone being buried at sea a few days ago. I asked who it was, but they couldn't say. His name is also not on the list of survivors and I checked twice."

Rose's eyes fill with tears, she feels as if her heart has been ripped out of her body and stomped on. She doesn't want to believe him; he must be lying. He is just doing this to manipulate her!

"But he was with me, he was alive when we were put in the lifeboat. I don't believe you."

Rose begins to shake her head and lean against the wall to prevent Cal from coming any closer. She denies it over and over in her head, but she thinks about what the doctor said. Jack was in bad shape, he would've needed medical attention and the doctor said… She shakes her head and begins to cry again. If Cal is telling the truth… she curls up in the fetal position.

Cal leans over and kisses her head. She is surprised that he is offering her any sort of comfort. She pushes away from him violently.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yells.

"I'm so sorry Sweetpea…"

"How can you be sorry? You wanted this to happen!" she barks with all her strength. "You wanted him dead, you wanted them all dead!"

Cal says nothing more and lets Rose to cry it out. He does not attempt to make any further contact.

"Try to get some sleep, Sweet… Rose"

Cal gets up to leave.

Her body is wracked with sobs, the pain of losing Jack is agonizing, leaving a very large hole in her heart. With the addition of Emma being lost as well and Sybil being without a sister makes her cry even harder. She also cries for those who were left in the sea, bodies floating in the cold ocean, lost and alone, their last minutes of terror and pain etched on their faces. Their screams for help that would not come. All Rose wanted right now was to die, to be with Emma and Jack and all the others. Fabrizio, Tommy, little Cora, Mr. Andrews, all those who are now lost at the bottom of the ocean. She curls up into a ball again and continues to sob.

Cal dims the light in the room and shuts the door and locks it. He allows her to cry in private.

Rose continues to cry, all through the night. Despite the jumble of anger, grief, hurt, and sadness, she still notices something. Something that made her cry harder. Despite the supposed sympathy, her mother and Cal are giving off, she knew they are trapping her. Closing in on her to get where they needed her to be. Use her for their own selfish purposes.

Despite everything that has happened, Rose is sure of one thing. She is still a prisoner.