September 13th, 2020 (Month 8 – Week 3):
"Hi, hello, welcome back, it's wonderful to see you." Kurt's PR person, Jason, rattled off coming into his office before Kurt could even pull his seat all the way into his desk. "We've got to talk."
"Yeah, I don't care if you date the wedding photographer. Whatever." Kurt said, looking amused.
"We are actually getting ice cream on Wednesday but this is not about…that." Jason tilted his head, confused. "How did you know?"
"My second calling is matchmaking. At least, I wish it was. You walked her to her car when she left the venue. That was sweet." Kurt grinned.
Jason, who wasn't that much older than Kurt, blinked at him for several seconds.
"Anyway, it's fine. What is up?"
"Have you been on your social media except for posting that one wedding photo?" Jason asked, sitting in a chair that he pulled behind Kurt's desk and opening his laptop. "You picked a really good one, by the way."
"Thank you. And no, I haven't checked anything. I was otherwise preoccupied and Friday we had a baby scare, so no."
"Have you had your coffee yet?" Jason reached over and grabbed Kurt's coffee off his desk. He could feel it was mostly full and pushed it towards him. "Drink this."
"Oh god. Are you quitting?"
"Are you kidding? We're just getting to the fun part." Jason turned his laptop around and pointed to Kurt's Instagram follower count.
Kurt, who had actually just took a sip of his coffee, swallowed it and began to cough.
"I haven't seen a jump that big the whole time I've been doing this either, so I deserve a raise. Don't worry, though. That's all Marc but, honestly, we could totally do it on our own at this point. You have 243 more followers than him as of 2 hours ago."
Kurt stared at the screen, his eyes wide.
1.3 million followers.
"Wait. How do you know 243 more?"
"Because I am your PR person… also, I've got a computer program that shows me the full follower amount which is besides the point." Jason said. "Do you see how good at I am at my job? Aren't you so happy I'm in your life?"
Kurt stared at him, confused.
"Speaking of the fact that you're now married, you posted this picture, and your precious husband is eye candy… we've got to talk. They know his name. It's only a matter of time before they find out more and now that you're married, they could very well be relentless towards him."
"What?" Kurt asked, stomach knotting up.
Relentless towards Blaine?
Who had literally nothing to do with Kurt's career?
"Because you two are officially married and, you know, fans that are up with your social media and tags have already been talking about how adorable he is since that first picture was posted of you two in the gas station where you were glaring at him as he laughed… but you just got an additional, you know, 700,000 followers in the span of a week and… well, he's attractive as far as guys go… and you two even have a official ship name. Klaine."
"Wait. What?" Kurt glanced at the computer.
8:04 AM.
Definitely too early for this.
"I would have rather Blurt but that's just personal preference. Kurt, do you really just only post pictures and never read the comments?"
"Well there are too many to bother with reading…" Kurt looked confused. "Plus, I barely post. Usually it's you that posts the promo stuff."
"Kurt, trust me. They know when it's you and when it's me. That's why the ones you post get thousands more likes and comments. They're hoping since you were logged in, just maybe you'll see their one heartfelt message amongst the thousands of heartfelt messages… and the homophobes, but whatever." Jason shrugged. "You are so disconnected from how popular you're getting. It's endearing but I'm afraid that you're having babies soon—which is still not out to the masses officially as far as I know but thanks to someone named Thad, the rumors have started which we also need to discuss—"
"Thad?!" Kurt said, making a mental note to point out that once again he was right. He'd mentioned in Thad's anger he might retaliate and… well, he obvious had.
"Yes and that means we're going to have to have some discussions about how we're going to handle the future."
"Handle the future…?" Kurt repeated.
"All of the future. How much you'll have your kids in the public eye, whether you want to go after people who leak this kind of information, how you want to ensure safety if you get crazy fans, and also Blaine. He's a lawyer in a high profile office. I know. But that's nothing on tabloids. They won't care to post all the photos they can get ahold of. "
"Tabloids?"
"Again. Disconnected from how popular you're getting." Jason grabbed a tabloid magazine up and turned it to a folded page—it was small, but there was a picture of Kurt and Blaine walking together in Disney holding hands. Underneath was a caption—Klaine is married! Sorry, gay community. They are both officially taken. "The fact is they will find other pictures where you're looking angry or bored. Bam, marriage problems already. Divorce. Splitting twins up. Anything to get a hit on a site. Paparazzi are relentless."
Kurt's jaw dropped.
"Does Blaine use social media?" Jason asked.
"Uhm, yes." Kurt said.
"Pull it up for me? Facebook first."
"Are you serious?" Kurt gave him a look.
Because… really?
This is how his first day back at work was starting?
"I am dead serious and I'm going to show you why." Jason said. "You'll thank me."
Kurt signed onto his Facebook—okay, really his 'official' facebook— and looked up Blaine who (sweetly enough) had liked Kurt's professional page.
"Right there. Picture of your house. You can see the numbers." Jason took the mouse, scrolling. "Cute baby but Mom and Dad probably don't want it all over the internet just because Blaine's holding it, oh, there's Blaine's—is it his dad? I was kind of confused because his last name isn't Blaine's... Either way, his family may not want this other picture floating around just because you can see Blaine's elbow in the background. How can I tell that's Blaine's elbow? The previous picture has the same elbow pad. Kurt, they're like flies on dead meat. They. Notice. Everything."
Kurt stared at Jason like he'd lost his mind.
"Do you see what I'm saying? Oh, there's your car in this one! That's not good. They use the license plate number, use Google map, find a house matching the picture with the same numbers in that other picture and bam. You've got people mailing you stuff or, worse, trying to break into your house."
"But I'm the one who is famous. Why does Blaine's social media matter?"
"He's the David Burtka and you're the NPH." Jason said. "Show me Blaine's Instagram please?"
Kurt pulled it up and switched seats with him.
"Not a lot of followers because people haven't found it yet but again… There's mail on that table. You get someone good with a computer or even basic computer skills and they've got your home address with no work besides zooming in on the picture. Some phones could probably do it." Jason said pointing to a photo of he and Blaine sitting at a table with a clear view of their neighbor's house from across the street. "Kurt, we're here. People are going to find his social media and if it's not private, which it looks like it isn't, they will screenshot the hell out of it, repost the pictures… I mean, some fans get kind of crazy. Charly and Marc don't care that much but… but you and Blaine seem more private and I know he's got some family issues that he probably doesn't want out to. He may want to look into making accounts private, unsearchable, or deleting a lot of stuff that he wouldn't want getting out." Jason said. "Plus, he's eye candy, Kurt. Gay men and boys, girls and women. I mean they do it to you too."
"What?!"
"Again. If you read the comments, you'll know." Jason said. "Did you just think I was exaggerating these last six months?"
"Well… kind of." Kurt admitted. "It's just so weird."
"You're putting yourself out there in this profession. Hell, your section of the new line will be released in two months. It's only going to get worse and it will keep getting worse. You can mitigate it by having your social media accounts private—and it wouldn't be a bad idea if close friends and family do too." Jason said. "Or at least request they don't post photos of yourselves or your homes or cars without permission."
Kurt nodded, suddenly feeling like he was on a TV show or something.
"I know. We've moved from level three to level six and it's overwhelming." Jason nodded. "It's easy to manage if you start now before you get bigger—and it's coming. We've both seen the numbers."
"Is Blaine in danger?"
"Of people asking him for pictures and stopping him in the streets maybe but most likely not." Jason said. "But we also need to control anything that might get out that he wouldn't want getting out. That guy wasn't really his dad, right?"
"No. His real dad is that corrupt physician from Westerville, Ohio… and his mom was the senator." Kurt said.
"He did that video about the camp!" Jason said. "That's why he looked so familiar. Okay, well, I wish I had known that but if the public knew, I'd know. I'll get on that and making sure a connection isn't made. Go through your social media pages—both of you if you have a private one you're not fessing up to. Censor private ones you don't want to divulge and Blaine needs to censor his public Instagram and Facebook. Clear out friends lists of people you aren't close to."
"When am I supposed to find the time to do that?" Kurt asked him.
"If I were you, I'd lock your door and go through yours now… and text your adorable hubby and give him a head's up. At the very least, tell him tonight. I assume if he had thousands of followers of friend requests he'd have told you already. It was a good call not tagging him in the photo."
Kurt nodded, forcing a smile.
"We'll get it all done. I just want to get it done quick and smoothly." Jason reassured him. "Welcome back to hell, Kurt."
"Yeah. Thanks." Kurt sighed as Jason left his office, closing the door behind him.
Really, Marc had told him this would happen… but he hadn't expected it to be the literal day he got back from the honeymoon.
And people had taken their pictures on their honeymoon?
Lastly, what the fuck would they do it word got out about Blaine's crazy family?
….
Blaine didn't know what he was expecting when he made it to CMJ on his first day back.
Especially since he'd seen Bob a handful of times but they hadn't talked about the trials—both Adrian's trial or the one the next day with Blaine's father. Blaine also knew Bob was supposed to be taking a much needed personal day that day. Judging by the fact that Bob's car hadn't been in his driveway and that his office door was half open, though, he knew Bob was somewhere in the building.
So, no, he didn't know what to expect… but it sure wasn't his mother sitting in front of his desk.
Blaine couldn't really see her face but he knew the two ways she'd always styled her hair.
And he was staring at the stupid 'cute bun' she always did when trying to impress people. (And it was not, in the least bit, cute.)
Blaine took three more steps to ensure Bob wasn't in his office. He wasn't sure what he wanted. Back up? A witness? Emotional support? A body guard? Any or all the above?
Things he knew Bob would be willing to do without even being prompted.
Or maybe he didn't want Bob to be there at all?
But he wasn't in there so that really didn't matter.
Not that Blaine wasn't aware since the door was half open… mostly from Bob's half-assed attempt to close it but not caring enough to actually make sure it was closed since his office was at the end of a hall and not many people would come down that hall anyway.
Blaine went into his own office, stood in the doorway for maybe .2 seconds, and then went around his desk.
"Blainey!" She got a bright smile on her face. "How are you? Did you have fun in Florida? How are your babies?"
"What?" Blaine asked sharply. Because… was this real life?
"Is it really twins? Your father saw two cribs." She asked, smile still there implying she actually cared.
"Why are you here?" Blaine asked as he sat his bed on his desk but did not sit down himself.
"What do you mean?"
"You do know I have a Personal Protection Order against you, right? Both Kurt, I, and any children we bring into the world." Blaine spoke slowly, being sure to not clarify that they were, indeed, about to be fathers.
"But that was mainly for your dad. He is the one that did all of that stuff." Blaine's mom said as Jake walked past Blaine's office, clearly on the way to Bob's office.
Jake halted in the doorway and then leaned against it, making eye contact with Blaine.
If he couldn't have Bob, Blaine thought, at least he now had Jake— who was rumored to be an even bigger ass… probably why he was the top lawyer in the state for the fourth year in a row. Which was funny, kind of, because Blaine wasn't all that sure what type of cases Jake did that even made him so special. When he'd asked Bob what kind, Bob had said 'a clusterfuck of shit' which hadn't been helpful in the least.
Regardless of what cases Jake did, Blaine was still glad to have a witness.
"No. There is one against you too. That means you can't be here." Blaine's sharp tone did not change.
"You're starting to sound like your father." She looked him in the eyes and Blaine was pretty sure she looked amused.
"You need to leave or I'm going to call the police." Blaine said slowly.
"You wouldn't have me arrested, Blaine. I never did anything to you. I protected you." She looked at him, a dumb surprised expression on her face. She clearly had no idea anyone else was in the room with them.
Blaine stared at his mother with wide eyes.
Because really?
What?!
"What do you mean, you protected me? You left me alone in a hospital for four days after I was attacked after the Sadie Hawkins dance. You let Dad almost throw me over the staircase at least three times. You sent me to those camps for four summers. You knew how depressed I was and you were never there for me, you never stepped in unless it was about to get 'too physical.' Remember those words?"
She stared at him, obviously clueless.
"Any time he would get physical you would watch but then warn him to quit when he was getting 'too physical.'" Blaine deadpanned. "Sorry but that's not protection. Allowing child abuse to happen is still abusing a child."
"I did it to protect you. You're my son."
"Protect me? You let him punch me around and emotionally torture me. I almost killed myself. You let him abuse me to the point where I wanted to die. You let him force Alex's girlfriend to get an abortion."
"I was protecting both of you."
"No. You were protecting the money you thought you would get when the will's timeline ran out." Blaine said slowly, watching Jake tapping on his phone—presumably texting Bob if Blaine had to guess. "You may have given birth to me but you quit being my mother the day I turned eleven. You probably never even deserved to be called a mom before then either. I just didn't know I was some freaking pawn in the stupid Anderson Family Show until you both showed your true colors wen I came out. Do you have any idea what that was like? And did you even want kids? Did you even care about Alex or me outside of looking like a perfect family to further Grandmother's career? Because you sure didn't seem to give a shit about us when we needed a mom."
Tears filled her eyes. "That is a horrible thing to say. I had your father try to rebuild that car with you. That was me."
Blaine let out a loud sarcastic laugh. Because no.
"That wasn't why you forced that and you, like always, didn't answer the question just like every single time I'd try to talk to you about it back then."
"If it weren't for me, he would have killed you. You'd never have met that boy, you—"
"That boy's name is Kurt and don't you dare take credit for us meeting!" Blaine exclaimed. "And you still didn't answer the question! Just admit you had two kids to look like you had a perfect family when you and Dad were screwing around with other people, not taking care of Alex and I because you hired nannies, and then once we were too old for that you just waited for the first kink in your plan and boom—abortion for Alex's girlfriend, spiraling him into depression and making him leave the country to get away from you. And boom again—I come out as gay and you throw me in a metaphorical and literal closet hoping I'd off myself or at least play straight until I was eighteen and go out quietly like Alex did. Run far away so you could keep up with the lies. You would have been golden, too, if you hadn't done that to Alex. That's why you got cut out of the will."
Her eyes widened. "How do you know that?"
"Which part? That you did that to him or that it's why you two got cut out of the will?" Blaine asked, aware he was still just prolonging the conversation but now almost wanting to hear what she thought was her version of 'the truth.'
"How do you know why we were cut out of the will? Your grandmother didn't know why. She didn't know why she was either."
"Because I had someone look over everything in the will and contract before I signed anything because I didn't trust you or what some other lawyer I'd never met said. I got the amended version as well. Someone looked over all of it and found our that Grandfather's best friend made the amendments. He's the one that took you all out of the will. I guess he took her out too without her knowing? That part is still confusing since they were married and that shouldn't be legal but I don't know. All I know is Alex and I know you all three were corrupt, that they were stealing money, and that's why Grandmother is the only one that could even sign off on us getting money out." Blaine said.
Jake, who was still watching, let his mouth drop. Bob silently slipped into the room, pocketing his own cellphone and standing next to Jake.
"Grandfather's friend kept in touch with Alex and Alex got him involved. That's how we know so much. How you all tried to have the amendments removed but the original lawyer fought tooth and nail to keep that from happening. We may not know all of what happened but we knew enough to know that all three of you were criminals and Grandfather figured it out."
"That's not true. Your grandmother didn't start until after your grandfather die…" Blaine's mom trailed off. "That is ridiculous. You're lying. We were set up."
Blaine's eyes widened but he was so shocked he couldn't even come up with a rebuttal. He saw Bob and Jake exchange a look behind his mother.
"Regardless, you never would have met that—that Kurt if it hadn't been for me convincing your father to let you go to that gay school."
"You were hiding me!"
"I'm your mother."
"No! You aren't!"
"You're my son!"
"I stopped being your son the day I came out… and I know why you're here. The only thing that would ever make you talk to one of us without Dad's involvement or instruction is money. Dad's in jail and bankrupt, you've lost the house, and you want money?" Blaine asked.
"Just enough to—"
"Out." Bob said, going and standing half in front of Blaine. "Get out now."
The woman turned to look at him. "This isn't your business."
"The fuck it isn't. I own this building. Get out or I'll have you forcibly removed." Bob said slowly.
"Blaine, I have nothing." She looked at him.
"Not his problem." Bob said before Blaine could even open his mouth—not that Blaine knew what to say. "You left him without a home. Without a guaranteed meal. Without love and support. I hope you enjoyed that fucking money while you had it because you aren't getting one cent out of him or your other son and if I ever see you in this state again, I will have you arrested. Don't fuck around with me. Also don't try going to Rhode Island to pull the same shit with Alex because I represented him as well and I would love to see you thrown in the slammer too.."
"You'll need help with your babies." She looked at Blaine.
Bob held up his hand when Blaine went to speak again. "No, he doesn't need help and definitely ot from you. He doesn't need you because he's got plenty of support. Leave or I'll have the police escort you out… and you're breaking your PPO, so you will go to jail if they see you here."
"Just so you know, Blaine, we didn't even want you. When we found out I was pregnant, you were too old to legally abort. I told your father we should have put you up for adoption but your asshole grandfather wouldn't let us. Right now I wish we'd done the illegal abortion or that the other twin had survived and not you. That boy's family can have you." She snapped, shoved past Jake and stormed out.
"HIS NAME IS KURT!" Blaine ran forward, accidentally hitting Bob pretty hard with his shoulder on the way to the door. He poked his head out and said, "KURT!"
"Come on, Blaine. It's not worth it. She's not worth it." Bob said, gently tugging him back into the room.
Blaine looked up at the ceiling after coming back into his office, not speaking.
"Are you okay?" Bob asked gently.
"Just peachy, thanks." Blaine snapped and then frowned. "Sorry."
"It's okay, Blaine. Come on. Let's go somewhere and talk about what she just said. I know you're—"
"I guess they really did hate me since before I was born?" Blaine threw his hands in the air, interrupting Bob. "Can someone just explain to me why I can't get away from them? Was she there last week at the trial?"
"Yes, she was." Bob nodded.
"So, my dad is in jail?"
"Did you doubt me? I told you I was going for eighteen months for each aggravated stalking—three that we can prove with Danny's injury, then Kurt's, and then yours. He's in jail a minimum of three years, maximum of six. Given the situation, he's carrying out his sentence in Ohio since you and Alex are local to this area. He's also got about $20,000 in fines as well." Bob looked thoughtful.
"So you nailed it?"
"Yep. He tried to get handsy with me too so that's where $7,000 of his fine came from. Luckily it caught me off guard so I didn't have time to react or I'd probably be in jail too."
Blaine nodded but didn't say anything.
"Let's go somewhere and talk." Bob said, his voice gentle again as he put his hand on Blaine's shoulder.
"No. I don't want to talk about the fact that my mom thinks she can waltz in, act like she's my best friend, defend herself and her actions, and then ask for money… and then tell me I wasn't planned and they should have aborted me or given me up for adoption!" Blaine's voice rose. "They were hoping I would kill myself! How fucked up is that? Even she was!"
"Blaine… Hang on a second." Jake said slowly. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I have an important question. Did you say that your parents thought they were getting an inheritance but that they were taken out of the will after something happened?" Jake asked slowly.
"Yeah. My grandfather left my brother and I inheritances once our grandmother passed away." Blaine said absentmindedly, still upset. "Why?"
"What is your grandfather's name?" Jake asked slowly.
"Mark Anderson. Why?" Blaine asked.
"I'll be right back." Jake said, leaving the office.
"What… was that about?" Bob asked.
"Can we go talk?" Blaine sighed. "I don't care what it's about. I just want to get out of this room."
"Just give me a couple of minutes." Jake said, walking back into the room with two binders—one looking very old and worn, the other not so much.
"What is that?" Blaine asked, confused.
"I believe this is your grandfather's original will that I wrote up for him and the updated will with the amendments…" Jake placed both of them, side by side, on Blaine's desk.
"How do you have these?" Blaine asked. "Because if you are—"
"No." Jake said slowly. "I have these because I drafted the original version when I was relatively new to contract law."
"But you were in New York City and my grandfather was in Westerville, Ohio." Blaine looked at him, still confused.
"My parents grew up in Westerville, Blaine. You know my dad."
"I don't know your dad." Blaine said. "Has everyone gone crazy?"
"You know my dad because you met him… he's the one who did the amendments. I wrote the original will about twenty years ago. My dad basically asked if I could do it and he supervise so I would get the practice." Jake explained. "When your grandparents figured out what was going on with your dad, when you were about two maybe, they both came to make an amendment. First the gave Alex a significant portion of his early so he could move to Italy. Second, they removed your parents."
"No. They removed my grandmother and my parents." Blaine argued.
"Blaine, I was there when the amendment meeting happened and when they signed off on it a couple of weeks later when it was completed. I didn't do the amendments because it was still a little over my head since the original will was so complicated but… but I was there for all of the meetings. I'm good at contract law but your guys' one was a fucking beast. I asked for my father to do the amendments, so they'd be done right. I didn't want to fuck it up…" Jake trailed off and then said, "Your grandfather was a great person, Blaine."
"What?!" Bob asked.
"I thought I recognized Alex in the office that one day and at the wedding but couldn't tell where I remembered him from. I remembered him from the family meetings."
"Wait. What did my grandmother mess around with? Didn't she illegally change stuff that postponed mine being released?" Blaine asked.
"Not your grandmother. Your father made false documents to have stuff changed." Jake sighed. "I had to get out there with the originals to prove he had manipulated versions. Where do you get your info?"
"Alex… I don't know where he gets his information. I assumed it was you." Blaine said. "Your dad was very nice. Is very nice."
"Yeah. I take after my mom." Jake joked. "Or Bob. Our moms argue over who made who an asshole."
"My grandmother was corrupt, right?"
"Yes. I don't know when that started but it definitely made my life hell when it all broke out… not more than yours, though. Sorry." Jake shrugged. "But she is the one who had the idea to make your parents believe she didn't have access to the money. She didn't want him trying to get her to change it back and she also wanted it to be split between you and Alex halfway after she died. Your grandparents were very serious about protecting you. I… I don't know why she didn't get you out of the house. I know they were keeping an eye on things and when the time was right, she was going to get you out of that house. There was a boarding school. They talked about it… how upset your parents were that you were gay and how it would probably get worse… they didn't want what happened to Alex to happen to you. Your grandfather said that when an opportunity arose, to get you the hell out of there."
"… She got me out after I was beat up in freshman year." Blaine said slowly. "It was pretty bad. I was in the hospital a couple of days… she was able to corner Dad into it. I remember hearing them arguing about it."
"Just… I know your parents were horrible… and your grandmother did end up corrupt… but she may have been laying low to protect you. I just know she was just as pissed about what happened to Alex as your grandfather was and they had long discussions during the amendment process about options for you..."
"Can we, uhm, not talk about this anymore? I appreciate it but this… this is a lot and I'm upset and…" Blaine began.
"Yes." Jake nodded. "I just wanted to clarify since there seemed to be some confusion."
"Thanks." Blaine looked down, not knowing what to think.
"Small world." Jake said. "I'm sorry about your mom. I do have to get to court, though. I've got arraignment in an hour."
Blaine waited for Jake to leave the room before looking at Bob. "Did you… know?"
"No. I remember him complaining about that contract a lot, though. Biggest reason I avoid writing contracts, actually…" Bob said. "I never put two and two together… and you gave me the amended will. I must have no even paid attention to Jake's name on it… but it's funny since he was probably the one that even gave it to you… mail, I guess?"
Blaine frowned.
"What?"
"They really didn't even want me. I wish she had put me up for adoption." Blaine bit his lip.
"I don't wish that because then you might not be here today." Bob said slowly. "I can't imagine my life without you, Blaine."
"Well it's too bad you couldn't have adopted me." Blaine sighed and shook his head. "I've got paperwork."
Bob stared at him, barely blinking.
"What?" Blaine looked up.
"Come on. We're leaving." Bob said.
"What?"
"Get your jacket. We're leaving." Bob repeated, leaving Blaine's office and going into his own.
Blaine grabbed his bag and jacket, going out into the hall. "Where are we going?"
"We're stopping by Mount Sinai to see Sarah and then we're going to the courthouse."
"Neither of us have trials today." Blaine looked at him like he was crazy.
"Come or don't come but I've got to make it to the courthouse by 3:00 and if you aren't ready to go now, then don't worry about it." Bob said impatiently, tugging on his jacket.
"What about your bag?"
"Is your wallet in your bag?" Bob asked.
"No." Blaine looked at him with the same expression on his face—maybe Brady was right and Bob really was crazy.
"Great." Bob took it from him, set it on the floor, and locked both of their bags in his office. "Now come on. I don't know how quick this will be."
"… Are you okay?"
Bob gave him a look, put his hand on Blaine's back, and gently nudged him forward.
…
"What is he doing?" Blaine whispered to Sarah an hour later, sitting next to her on a bench outside of Judge Hardigree's chambers.
"It's pretty cool out for early September, isn't it?" Sarah smiled at him brightly and patted his thigh. "There are some cute lawyers in New York City. Kurt's cuter, though."
"You're ignoring my question."
"Sweetie, Bob doesn't even know what he's doing half of the time. He'll walk in to buy a shirt and leave with a car." Sarah laughed.
"But you know what he's talking to her about." Blaine said.
"He'll tell you soon enough." Sarah smiled when Bob came out of the chambers, two folders in his hand.
The judge followed behind him, said a hello, and left the building.
"Is there a reason you made me sit out here for this long?" Blaine asked him. Was he actively accepting cases? No, because the twins' due date was nearing. But still. He could have been sulking in his lonesome in his nice, comfortable desk chair.
Bob held out one of the folders.
Blaine gave him a weird look before opening it and read out loud, "Petition for adult adoption?"
Sarah tiled her head, waiting for it to click as Bob took that sheet.
"Consent to adult adoption by adoptee." Blaine read out loud, confused.
Bob watched him carefully.
"I'm confused. Why are you handing me this?" Blaine asked.
"Because you said it was too bad that I hadn't adopted you and, Blaine, maybe I couldn't when you were eleven or twelve or even sixteen when it was really bad… but I can now." Bob said, his voice slow and deliberate. "Sarah and I want to adopt you. I don't know why it never occurred to me before you said it."
"We love you." Sarah said, smiling. "You've been a part of this family for a long time. Everyone loves you. Everyone. When all the kids are home and you aren't there, they always asks where you and Kurt are and why you aren't there."
"When I said that—I didn't—" Blaine sputtered.
"You meant it." Bob interrupted him. "Not to say it in the heat of the moment, but you meant it."
Sarah wrapped an arm around Blaine. "It's up to you but we've discussed it and you actually don't have a choice."
"W-What?" Blaine laughed as Bob covered his face.
"C'mon, Blaine. Half of the family is assholes and we need your sweetness to even it out. With you and Kurt official members, it'll balance out perfectly." Sarah smiled.
"Until Emily starts her period." Bob added.
"Oh, you're so sheltered." Sarah sighed. "She's had it for a year already, Robbie. She didn't want you to know."
"Well that's rude." Bob huffed.
Blaine looked down at the sheet and back up at them.
"I'm not suggesting this out of anything but love." Bob said gently. "If you don't want to, it's okay and I won't bring it up again but, Blaine… we've basically been doing this for almost four years now and we were getting there the first two. We both love you and want to do this. We want to make it official. Kurt will be okay because it'll get him more free meals."
Blaine's eyes teared up and he took a deep breath.
"Join the dark side." Sarah said, running her hand up and down his arm soothingly. "We have cookies."
Blaine let out a half-laugh half-sob and wiped his eyes.
"Need to think about it?" Bob asked gently. "You can. It's not like we can do it without your signature."
"Although if we could, we would." Sarah chirped, hand still rubbing up and down.
"It's just been a really weird day." Blaine sniffed, wiping his eyes again. "To go from hearing that to this is a lot and everything with Baby B and I just…."
"There's no expiration date." Bob looked him in the eyes.
"What's wrong with Baby B?" Sarah asked.
"I… I don't know. He's not growing as fast as he should and they're moving us up to more frequent visits in case it… I don't know." Blaine said and looked at Bob. "Sorry. I didn't even get the chance to tell you that. It's why I was late."
"Yeah. It's not a good time to make a decision." Sarah said as Bob squeezed his shoulder. "You should go home and rest and try to take your mind off of everything."
"… Did you just tell my lawyer to not go back in?" Bob asked.
"Yes, I did. If anything he should go and stalk Kurt at work. Nobody wants to be cooped next to you when they're this upset." Sarah joked.
"He usually makes me feel better." Blaine admitted.
"He must really like you then. Half of the time he tells me, 'What do you want me to do about it?'" Sarah laughed.
"… It was a spider, Sar. Slightly different situations."
"It's a phobia, Robbie." Sarah snapped.
"Yeah…Sorry if I can't reach your thirty foot ceiling to get to it. I'm not Spiderman. See what I did there?"
"It's okay. Sammy got it down with a Nerf gun. I like the 2.0 version better." Sarah shrugged.
Blaine let out another half laugh and took a deep breath.
"Come on." Bob said. "She's right. Don't worry about work, the twins or the adoption. Just go home or go see Kurt or, hell, hang out with Matt. I'm pretty sure he's on fall break. That kid can cheer anyone up."
"Is that okay? Going home?"
"Yep. Just promise me you won't sit there and think about this morning." Bob sighed a bit.
"I'll try." Blaine bit his lip and then nodded.
"One stipulation. You and Kurt come over tonight." Sarah added. "Otherwise you have to go to work and listen to him be grumpy."
"Okay. We can come over tonight." Blaine nodded.
"Only if you want to." Bob said.
"Nope. It's mandatory." Sarah shook her head. "They're coming or they're grounded."
"We will." Blaine laughed.
…
"So, we need to talk about social media." Kurt announced sarcastically, coming in the front door. He then added, "I can't believe you made it home before me on a Monday."
Blaine looked up from the TV and his package of Oreos.
"Oh no. Oreos and sweatpants at 5:30?" Kurt's eyes widened. "What happened?"
"What about social media?" Blaine sat up straighter and put the Oreo container on the coffee table.
"No. You first."
"You. Please." Blaine sighed.
Kurt sat next to him hesitantly and then sighed himself, showing Blaine his professional Instagram account.
"Holy shit. 1.3 million?!"
"Yeah." Kurt sighed. "So, Jason asked to see your social media pages—I didn't show him my private one."
"What?" Blaine asked.
"There's pictures with our house number, a couple of pictures of Miles as a baby, the neighbor's house in a background… stuff like that. He said we may want to go through and either make our profiles private and unfriend people we aren't close to or go through and delete a lot of pictures and posts… He also said he could take a look and go through stuff if you wanted him to as well…" Kurt said, choosing to not tell him about Thad's leaked information yet. It clearly was not the time for that with Blaine so upset about something.
"I'll just make new accounts or purge stuff. It's fine." Blaine said.
"What happened today?"
"Uhm… well, my Mom showed up asking for money… basically admitted they never wanted me and found out they were pregnant too late to get an abortion… she never cared about me. Which I knew but just hearing it… you know?"
"I'm so sorry, Blaine."
"No. It's okay. I also found out Jake is the one who did the will and stuff."
"Bob's Jake?"
"Yeah… and I got really upset and said something about wishing I had been adopted, Bob said he didn't wish that because that meant he wouldn't have met me, and I was like 'Well I wish you could have adopted me.'" Blaine continued.
"Blaine."
"I know. I was upset." Blaine sigh. "I was upset and just running my mouth but he made me leave with him… and then he went to get Sarah from work and I guess they talked a bit before they both came back out… and then we went to the court house and then he went into Hardigree's chambers and Sarah was sitting out with me and when he came out forty years later."
Kurt's eyes widened.
Blaine handed Kurt the blue folder that was sitting on the coffee table—the one Bob had given him earlier that day and the same one he'd stared at for countless minutes.
Kurt opened it and his eyes teared up. "Blaine."
"And I just started to cry because the stuff with the twins this morning, and then my mom, and… and I shouldn't have said that… and Bob shouldn't have taken it so literally… I don't know what to do." Blaine bit his lip.
"What did you say?"
"I don't even know… but he said I could think about it… and Sarah said I could but they were going to do it anyway." Blaine sighed. "I mean… I know I had a bad day but I just… don't want to be that needy person who basically guilted him into adopting me."
"Blaine." Kurt sniffled. "You are so clueless sometimes. That paper wouldn't even change anything. He's pretty much been your dad since the stuff with the will… It's not like you and my dad. You're close to my dad for sure but Bob is… he's Bob. You told him first when we got engaged, when we got pregnant…"
"I don't know." Blaine took a deep breath. "I feel like he did it because I'm so upset but I'll be fine."
"I think he probably did it because hearing it out loud made so much sense." Kurt said slowly. "I mean, how often does adult adoption happen? Probably not much but… I don't think there's any other action or words to say 'I love you' better than adopting you when he doesn't even have to."
Blaine's eyes teared up.
"It kind of makes sense." Kurt continued. "Have you noticed how over this last couple of years, everything has kind of fallen into place?"
Blaine shrugged.
"No, listen." Kurt said. "We split up and around that time you met Bob… We got back together and you and Bob started to get closer. The stuff with the will happened and, let's be honest, you two never had an intern-boss relationship after that day. It's so obvious he's always cared for you, Blaine. He made you take off a week of the internship to sleep. He came to your graduation even though his dad had just died—and I know it wasn't anyone else he came for because you're the only one he came up to after that. And not too long after that you told him about the night you wanted to kill yourself and you to got closer. Then we got engaged and you told him first. We started the journey to get pregnant, it took forever, it finally happened, and you told him first. Your dad started acting up again and we literally moved four houses down from him."
"Five." Blaine said distractedly.
"You're even turning into him." Kurt laughed. "He has been on the whole situation with your dad from day one. He has been there for you for so long but after the thing with the will… he has way surpassed the relationship of your boss. You two are so close and he loves you like you're his son and I know you see him as your dad because the stuff I tell my dad first, you tell him. I know you don't have to do the adoption and you know that too but if you're just telling yourself that he doesn't really want to do it and that he feels guilty, I promise you that isn't the case. I know how you feel about him and, Blaine, he feels the same way about you."
Blaine bit his lip again.
"What about our lives has been conventional? We do stuff out of order all the time. I'm only saying this because I know you, I know what you're thinking, and I know what you want. Do what he said. Take some time and try to not stress about it." Kurt leaned over and squeezed his thigh. "Just let me know when you want to head over there. I'm going to take a shower."
Blaine nodded, still chewing on his lip as Kurt went up the stairs.
He then took a deep breath, pulled the first couple of sheets out of the folder, and began to fill them out.
Just in case.
Because, Kurt was right.
With all of the craziness going on in their lives right now, Bob had always been a constant.
Deep down, the idea of Bob being as close to his actual dad as legally possible made him just as happy as Kurt made him… and, also, just as happy as having the twins made him.
Maybe he really had his own family now.
…
"I, for one, would like to give you a couple of reasons you should do it and more reasons why you shouldn't."
Kurt looked at Sam and laughed. He and Blaine were sitting on Bob's living room floor in a circle with Charlie, Brady, Sam, and Emily.
"Let's be real. The wild card here is Dad. Pro is he's really good at Christmas because he'll literally get you whatever you want. He just runs the card and doesn't even look at the price—verified it. Pro is he has good taste in cars. Pro is alpaca because I'll never quit bringing that up." Sammy said, counting on his fingers. "Con is his complete disregard of music that has come out since he graduated University of Maine."
Charlie snorted. "It's true."
"Con is we're waiting for the post-toddler depression that happened with Emily. Still not convinced they didn't actually get pregnant on purpose and don't want to admit it." Sam continued. "He's, like, really grumpy until five at night because that's when he gets to leave the real world and come home."
"Ooh, con is he is very clueless to so many things." Brady said. "And his reactions for big news is less than stellar. Who the fuck says 'I know' when you come out? Really?"
"But… we did not." Sam said, sounding exactly like Bob which made Kurt laugh again.
"Oh, another con is he never shuts up about politics when it's election time… actually, he hasn't shut up since Trump got voted in." Charlie added. "Oh, and he is always going to be your kids' favorite. Honestly, I'm not sure why he didn't just open a daycare or something instead of going to law school because babies love him and toddlers flock to him. However, this will be disguised as a pro when you need sleep but try to take the kids away and he'll try to distract them from leaving."
"I'm pretty sure he's playing with Katie and Miles now." Emily said. "But I don't think he has any cons."
"You're the princess." Brady said. "Of course you don't. You also aren't in high school yet. Just wait. Your time is coming."
"PRO!" Sam said. "He can't say shit if you do because he got drunk, bought an alpaca, had Jake drive it home because he was grounded from being drunk before, and then he—"
"We know." Charlie said.
"I'm sorry. Just the thought of him laughing until he cried off and on for three hours because he was drunk is the most hilarious thing ever. Although as long as I don't total a sports car, I can't do as bad as Brady."
Brady glared at him as Miles came in.
"Con is Sam is basically dad and Brady is this really scary 50/50 version of Mom and Dad." Emily said. "I think Mom is scarier than Dad honestly. Dad gets over stuff pretty quick but Mom holds grudges."
"You have to know to sweet talk her when she starts to get that mad." Charlie said. "It's so easy."
"Wait." Blaine asked. "What happened with an alpaca?"
"I'll tell you later." Charlie said. "If Sam starts talking about it, he'll just laugh hysterically and it doesn't really end. He really is Dad. That happens if anyone talks about it… especially Jake."
"Pro! Jake has the best stories about Dad." Sam said. "Okay, I'm done. I'm actually probably not done."
"Pro is it's hilarious hen Mom and Dad argue. So funny." Brady said.
"I heard that." Sarah said coming into the room. "Pizza? There's too many of you to cook for."
"Why is it always pizza?" Brady groaned.
"Because there's too many children to feed." Sarah said. "It's the most affordable option."
"Shut up. Dad's got so much money stashed in places we don't even know about." Sam said. "Cop out."
"See?" Charlie whispered to Kurt and Blaine. "He really is Dad."
Kurt smiled and nodded—he didn't have to be told.
"I'll be right back." Blaine whispered to Kurt before going into the kitchen for some water.
He saw Bob at the kitchen island—the kids had been wrong because Miles and Katie weren't even in the room.
"What's that?" Blaine asked.
What's that? A computer. Duh.
"Just checking on stuff from Adrian's trial." Bob, who was in jeans and a t-shirt, looked up from his laptop. "I heard the kids steal you and Kurt right when you walked in the door."
"Did you make Charlie and Brady come over tonight since you knew I'd be coming?" Blaine asked.
"Actually no… sometimes it just happens that way. Charlie doesn't work Mondays so he usually drops by so we can see Katie. Brady's class gets out at 4:00 and his boyfriend has a 5:00 class, so he usually comes over too." Bob shrugged and shut his laptop.
Blaine sat at the island next to him. "What happened with Adrian's trial? He said that you all won."
"I guess they ran into some admit problems but he's locked up now. Adrian's due back tomorrow so I wanted to double check before he comes back to New York. He was supposed to today but I gave Matt a head's up that they were having issues and I guess he made something up." Bob sighed. "Feeling better from this morning?"
"Yeah. Sorry." Blaine bit his lip.
"No. Don't be." Bob shook his head. "I get it. Well, I understand where you're coming from but I haven't been in the situation so I don't get it."
"She never just shows up. The only times I ever saw her, unless my dad dragged her to harass me, was our weekly Sunday lunches." Blaine rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I shouldn't have been surprised and I shouldn't have argued with her but every single time I think it might actually be over, it's not. It's been this way since I moved out when I was sixteen… only usually it was my dad."
Bob watched him carefully, nodding.
"The second I saw her I knew what she wanted. I was going to just kick her out but she said this crap about protecting me and I'm just so over it that I mouthed back off." Blaine sighed. "Which Kurt thinks is great but me not so much."
"Well I agree with Kurt. I think the only way it'll bother you less is if you get the frustration out. Honestly I wish you'd been two thousand times more hateful to her but I don't know if you've got a mean bone in your body." Bob said.
"That's not true?"
"I disagree. I mean you're good in court but outside of work you're just… nice."
"You've watched me in court?!" Blaine asked.
"Are you joking? I'm also your boss, you remember? Of course I've watched you. If we tell people before they go, sometimes they get anxious… the new ones at least."
"Well that's embarrassing." Blaine sighed.
"No. All four times you've been great and have gotten much better each time. I do it once a year the first five years someone works with us." Bob watched him carefully.
"I want you to adopt me." Blaine blurted. "But I'm nervous you're just doing it because I'm upset."
"No." Bob shook his head. "If I'd thought about it four years ago, I probably would have suggested it then. I love being the one in your corner and I love getting to see you come into yourself at home and in your career. I don't know how many times I've told you I love you and I've meant it every time. I love you like you're my son. I don't need a paper to know that but… but maybe you'd like something that's actually official?"
"I do." Blaine said after licking his lips anxiously.
"Okay." Bob smiled. "Well, we can't start anything until yours and Kurt's last names are changed. Also, it'll take a while to be official. Hardigree said that she would get it through as quick as she could but it's still a process."
"How does it work?"
"We petition, we sign, it goes through the system, and she'll make it official. It's like a child adoption, really." Bob explained. "I've never actually done one which is why it never crossed my mind but you said that and it just… clicked. I could go from unofficially adopting you to actually physically adopting you."
Blaine nodded.
"Are you sure you want to?" Bob asked. "It won't upset me if you don't want to do it."
"No. I know you technically aren't my dad but it still feels like you are..." Blaine's voice was soft. "It would actually mean a lot if you really were."
Bob smiled again and leaned over, squeezing his shoulder. "Great. It's unofficially official."
"What about people at the office?"
"You really do need to quit worrying about it. Who the fuck even cares what other people think? Honestly… you do know Kurt's blowing up, right? There are going to be a lot of people saying a lot of different things and most of it might be bullshit." Bob looked him in the eye.
"I care more about what the people I know think." Blaine sighed a bit. "Apparently I have to go through my social media and either delete half of the stuff or make everything private."
"First of all, if they're going to think stuff that is negative about your or stuff that isn't true, screw them." Bob said. "And clearing your social media would probably be a good idea. I heard about your wedding on the radio this morning… which was really weird."
"That is weird." Blaine nodded. "Maybe you'll accept my friend request finally once I clear out my Facebook?"
"Huh?"
"Facebook. You're the only one in this house who hasn't accepted it… you know, of those who have Facebook and Instagram." Blaine said. "Pretty sure it's been three years since I sent it."
"Oh. Yeah, I don't even check that. Sorry." Bob shrugged, not seeming sorry in the least.
"It's okay. I didn't take it personal. I know you." Blaine laughed as Sarah came into the room, yawning.
"Well, he's agreed to let us steal him." Bob grinned.
"Excellent. Another boy to force to do the stuff I don't want to do." She beamed and ruffled Blaine's hair as Kurt and Charlie came into the room, Miles running behind them.
"Well?" Kurt asked.
"You were gone too long. We can only assume." Charlie added, smiling.
"We're going to make it official." Bob said.
"What's official?" Miles asked, pulling himself onto Bob's lap.
"Blaine's your brother." Charlie said.
"Blaine wasn't my brother?!" Miles looked confused.
"We're jut getting a paper." Blaine laughed.
"It's Melody all over again." Kurt laughed too, squeezing Blaine's arm.
"Oh. That's silly." Miles shrugged and then yawned.
"So, I'm totally going to court when you do it." Charlie said. "Does this mean I'm technically not the oldest sibling anymore?"
Miles looked at Charlie, confused again, as Bob rolled his eyes. "I don't get it."
"Honey, nothing involving your dad makes sense." Sarah laughed and ruffled his hair.
"He's losing the chubby cheeks." Kurt pointed out.
"So, Kurt, what are you doing for all of the fashion weeks?" Charlie asked.
"Well I was supposed to do New York when I was on my honeymoon… I was supposed to do London this week and Milan next week but with the twins, Marc went by himself. Well, not by himself but the person that went with him is a lost cause." Kurt sighed.
"Did the doctor say you had to stay close?" Sarah asked.
"Not exactly but Quinn's been having some minor issues and our high risk is slightly more elevated. Marc didn't want me to take the chance of missing an early birth or something."
"What kind of issues?" Bob asked. "Blaine, you never did get the chance to tell me."
"They think she may go into labor early. I don't know specifics but stuff is happening and she's gone from bed rest to total bed rest." Blaine said. "And if it doesn't turn around soon, it's possible she'll have to stay in the hospital for close monitoring."
"All twins get born earlier because there's only so much room." Charlie said. "That's normal."
"Well, the lower twin is where he should be and the other one is growing slower than he should." Kurt said. "Three weeks behind, I think?"
"Okay? He's got, like, at least a month and a half to catch up… and sometimes babies are just born small." Charlie said. "Plus, Eric is on it and his dad is like a medical god or something, so I wouldn't worry too much."
"Eric is so cute." Sarah sighed. "I love him. He's my favorite doctor in the hospital."
"Gee, thanks, Mom." Charlie scoffed.
"What about David?" Blaine asked curiously.
"Oh, he's so sweet with the kids. I just wish they'd keep him out of the ER because it's wasted talent, reallly. You know that Jamie offered him a position at their pediatrician's office at your wedding?"
"What?!" Blaine gasped.
"Yeah. They offered him a shit ton of money too. I told him he should get out while he can. I mean, Jamie is awesome." Sarah nodded. "But there is something to be said when a job will let you and work wife work together and has an in-building daycare. I get it."
"I love Jamie." Bob said. "It's still weird they don't want to know who is the actual father of the babies."
"They both are." Sarah and Charlie said together, looking annoyed.
"I know that but I mean genetically."
"Let's be real here." Brady came in. "The youngest one looks exactly like Ryan and the oldest one looks like Jamie. We all know who the biological dads are but it doesn't matter. Fight me on this."
"I will because—" Charlie began.
"No, no, no. Every time one of you says 'fight me on this,' Sar and I have to hear arguing for three weeks. We're too old." Bob snapped.
"We only fight because Brady doesn't know how to admit he's wrong… like you, Dad." Charlie said.
Sarah covered her eyes and said, "Here we go."
"I admit when I'm wrong."
"Yeah, when you want the arguing to stop. But you never really think you're wrong, Robbie." Sarah sighed.
"It's called survival."
"You can still back out, Blaine." Sarah said as Brady and Charlie started to argue. "In fact, you'd probably be smart to… mostly for your twins' sake."
"Pfft." Bob rolled his eyes. "They need the baby whisperer, Sar."
"He's only a baby whisperer because he's still actually a baby." Sarah whispered to Kurt and Blaine, who both laughed. She then looked at Bob innocently and asked, "What?"
September 15, 2020 (Month 8 – Week 3):
"You are… what?"
Kurt hadn't known his dad was still in New York let alone… what he thought Burt had just said.
"You heard me. Rachel got that part on boardwalk or something and your brother needs help, you two are gonna need help soon, so we are temporarily relocating to New York."
Kurt nearly spit out his coffee, literally pulling his phone back to look at it and make sure he really was on the phone with his dad. "What?"
So, Kurt had heard it right.
Okay.
"Yeah. Not in the city but close. That way we can help Finn when Rachel's busy and, honestly, we were already planning on coming and staying a couple of weeks when the twins are born. You and Finn are both in New York and it only makes sense. It's not forever as of now but Jeff can handle the garages and, honestly, we want to be closer to all of you right now."
"Wait." Kurt said, deleting several emails from Martie—most of the subjects being Blaine Acting Inappropriate in Front of Paps Again! "What?"
Because, honestly, seeing the video where Blaine told someone on camera that he didn't speak English in English had made him laugh a lot more than it should have. And, really, he was lucky that Blaine took it all in stride. Blaine had been stopped daily since returning from their honeymoon and his reactions only seemed to make people like him more. Even when lying about what language he spoke, he still had his bright smile on and… well, everyone Blaine knew loved him.
"We are moving to New York. Kid, are you even listening to me?"
"Yes. Sorry." Kurt looked away from his computer screen. "When? Do you need help? Where are you staying? How long are you staying?"
"We figured we'd stay until after the holidays. We'll be around to help you, Blaine, Finn, and Rachel out. The second garage is doing great, the first one is too, and honestly we miss you all. All of you guys are going through so many life changes and we're a long plane ride away. It sucks."
"That's, uh, great. But do you know how expensive it is to even live on the outskirts of the city?" Kurt asked. "You hate the city, Dad. That's where we live. If you're coming to help us, that's where we'll be."
"Kurt, Carole and I discussed it and it's what we're doing."
"Wh—" Kurt trailed off, tilting his head. "You're really moving up here?"
"Like I said, Rach got that job and they've got two kids. You and Blaine are about to have two. You guys are kinda outnumbered and you're gonna need some help." Burt repeated.
"When are you coming?" Kurt asked.
He looked up when his office door opened and Burt was standing in the doorway.
"Today!"
Kurt's eyes widened and he hopped up, going to hug Burt. "Dad!"
"We actually never left." Burt grinned. "We're staying with Paige and Taylor now but we're looking into an apartment in Long Island. Once we get an apartment, we'll put Melody in school. Long Island is a lot busier than we're used to but we're close."
"Oh my God. Can you afford that?" Kurt asked.
"Not permanently but we can afford it through Christmas… and then we'll re-evaluate. We're not ready to pick up and move here permanently yet but we miss you guys and we want to be close to all four of you… and all of the kids." Burt gave Kurt a squeeze and stepped back.
"Yet? Does Blaine know?"
"That boy couldn't keep a secret from you if he tried." Burt chuckled.
"That is true most of the time." Kurt said, his eyes tearing up.
"What's wrong?" Burt asked, frowning.
"It's just been stressful with the twins and I'm really glad you're here." Kurt wiped his eyes and smiled. "Thank you."
"I had a hard time not telling you when you got here but we wanted to surprise you and we've been looking at apartments. Taylor's been helping a lot. Paige would but she's teaching and stuff." Burt went to hug Kurt. "Who's gonna tell Blaine? You gotta let me do it!"
"You want to go tell him now?" Kurt's smile grew.
"… Can you just leave work when you want?" Burt asked, looking confused.
"Yes." Kurt grabbed his sweater. "Marc is in London for Fashion Week meaning I'm the boss until he's back."
"You know, you'll really be the boss here soon. Have you two talked about you going solo? You and Blaine?" Burt asked, following Blaine out of the building.
"We have a bit… the plan is to wait until the next baby is four and then start the process. It'll take time but that way they'll at least be in school—the youngest preschool. It'll make the transition easier." Kurt said as they walked, going down an uncrowded route after seeing someone with a camera. "Plus, once I am solo it'll be a lot harder. Marc's literally always here. I want to be there when they're really little… once they're a bit older it won't be as much of a big deal."
"Was that guy trying to take a picture of you?" Burt asked.
"I don't know but I'm already so sick of phones and cameras. It's been a nightmare since we went back to work on Monday. Honestly Blaine's getting it the most but he has to leave the office for work a lot so they get more opportunities." Kurt explained, moving onto a busier street.
"I've been here too many times because I'm starting to recognize stuff."
"Well you've visited for been two births, three weddings, and last Christmas." Kurt pointed out, coming to a stop outside of CMJ. "And you helped us move into the first apartment."
"To think you and Blaine have jobs in buildings like this… Finn's a teacher at some private school and Rachel's about to be on boardwalk. It's amazing. I wonder what Mel will do." Burt said, looking up at the building.
"Whatever she wants to do." Kurt led him into the building and waved, seeing Adrian looking bored while talking to someone at the front desk on the phone. "Also, Dad, it's Broadway."
"No, I actually can't give legal advice over the phone… no, I can't do that either. Maybe you should actually make an appointment if you need help." Adrian said impatiently.
"Isn't that Blaine's fr—" Burt began.
"Yes." Kurt said before Burt could finish.
"Great you have a freaking lovely day too, asshole. I hate people." Adrian huffed, hanging up the phone. He then added, seeing the receptionist's face, "He had hung up. I promise. Looking for your husband, Kurt?"
Both Kurt and Burt got excited smiles on their faces.
"Give it five months and you'll hate when people say that." Adrian grinned, going to hug Kurt because he hadn't seen him since the wedding. "I heard Disney and Harry Potter was amazing."
"I'm looking forward to an actual vacation." Kurt laughed as Adrian led them back.
"Matt and I literally went to the coast and just sat on the beach. It was probably a lot less hectic than what you did." Adrian laughed. "But he brought be chocolate frogs so I'm not complaining."
Kurt had been here a couple of times but, like the last office, there were a lot of hallways and it was easy to get lost. He was grateful Adrian had been up there otherwise who knew where he'd end up.
"So, lawyers answer front desk phones?" Burt asked.
"Uhm, no. But this crazy guy keeps calling and asking for every lawyer under the moon… the receptionists can't transfer him anymore so they try to pass it off on a nearby lawyer." Adrian sighed. "I was the lucky one but I was out for a couple of weeks so I didn't fight it too much."
"Vacations are good." Burt grinned.
"It was family stuff so I would have rather been here." Adrian said smoothly. "Blaine's is the next office down."
"I didn't do it this time. I don't touch it anymore." Blaine called.
"Lies. I saw you over there this morning, Blaine." Kurt and Burt heard Bob call back as they stepped into Blaine's office.
"Guess who is—"
"We're moving to Long Island!" Burt cut Kurt off. "I told you I wanted to tell him."
"I was going to say 'visiting,' Dad." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"You're what? Wait. What?" Blaine asked.
"They are looking to rent an apartment in Long Island." Kurt clarified. "Through Christmas at least."
"… You're not sick again, are you? I literally cannot take more bad news."
"No." Burt said. "Rachel got an off Broadway or something."
"On Broadway, Dad. Les Mis is on Broadway." Kurt corrected.
"Oh God. Her head is going to grow six times." Blaine groaned.
"And also because of you two. These twins are acting iffy and, honestly, you're gonna need help. We figured we'd get a place in Long Island and we'll be real close to help when you bring them home. Carole's done it with both of Rachel and Finn's kids and they were just one at a time. You're gonna need the help. I know you've got a support system here but we figured with twins, you could use the all the extra help you can get." Burt grinned.
"Wait… why Long Island? You know it'll be super expensive for a really small amount of space." Blaine said.
"Well, we wanna be around to help you four kids with… your four kids." Burt said.
"… Then stay with us. We have four rooms." Blaine said slowly. "You won't have to pay a lot for rent, you'll have an address so Melody can go to school, and when you decide to just move up here 'for the grandchildren,' you'll already know your way around."
"Oh, we are not staying here permanently." Burt said, voice firm.
"I said that and I've lived here five times." Bob called over the wall. "First it was going to be a year, then it turned into five… same thing happened three more times, and now I don't think I'm ever getting out."
"Oh, that won't be happening." Burt repeated.
"Good luck."
Kurt rolled his eyes because he just knew Bob and Burt would be friends if they were around each other enough.
"He hates Thursdays." Blaine said, not even attempting to whisper.
"And all of the other days I'm here." They heard Bob mutter where he probably thought they couldn't hear.
"…. And all of the other days he's here." Blaine grinned. "Oooh, I'll get to learn to use power tools without ending up in the hospital."
"… What?" Kurt asked as Burt turned, silently laughing.
"You know what? With that reaction already, I'm not going to bother to tell the story." Blaine pouted. "Thanks, Burt."
September 18, 2020 (Month 8 – Week 3)
"So…" Blaine sighed, plopping on the couch next to Kurt after making it home from work. "On Monday AJ is going baby shopping with us since we 'need to be ready now' per Eric."
"Thank God." Kurt groaned, closing his laptop and covered his face. "I've been looking at bottles all day trying to find the best. Plastic versus glass. BPA free plastic but you have to replace them more often. Glass could theoretically break if it hits the ground right. Everyone says brands are great yet you've got all of these horror stories from others. I'm so overwhelmed."
"Me too! I talked to Marcy and we are not doing that Dock A Tot thing. Apparently, this baby came in super sick and there was a crapload of mold just sitting inside the Dock A Tot. Plus, I guess people use them for sleeping but you're not supposed to? So what's the point? I'd rather have bassinets than the twins getting sick from sleeping in mold."
"… That's fine but you do know that we'd have to clean stuff anyway, right?" Kurt put his laptop on the couch.
"Yeah but it seems silly to add the risk… when new can just wheel a bassinette with us and negate the risk. Bob said it sounds stupid but Ryan's youngest son swore by it. Everyone says something different." Blaine sighed and laid his head on Kurt's shoulder. "But we've got the big stuff so there's that?"
"There's that doesn't help when Quinn almost went into labor last night, Blaine." Kurt sighed this time.
"They stopped it."
"It's the first time she's actually gone into labor but you know her body was trying earlier too. I'm getting really worried. Can we wait until Monday?"
"I can see if she can do sooner. Or, you know, you could?" Blaine shrugged. "So… priorities."
"Basinets, the pack and play thing, everything for a feeding station, everything for a bathing station, everything for a diaper changing station. Everything."
"But we've got the furniture stuff. The cribs and dresser… and some clothes."
"And all the crib bedding… only Carole told me what we have isn't enough. We were way ahead of the game when we first got pregnant. What happened?"
"We were planning a wedding and my family has been going crazy?" Blaine sighed. "You make it sound worse than it is. We've got some stuff."
"No. I know we do. Just nowhere near enough." Kurt bit his lip.
"I thought you picked out all the nursery stuff."
"I did but we only bought the furniture." Kurt groaned.
"So… do we break this into many trips? Do we just fill up eight carts with AJ on Monday?"
"AJ is pregnant. She would kill us if we did all of it with her right there." Kurt laughed.
"Well… we could go now and stuff that the options aren't as important? Like blankets, clothes, pacifiers, toys?" Blaine suggested.
"You mean… just go right now and…?"
"Blow a bunch of money on stuff for the twins?" Blaine grinned and hopped up. "You don't have anything else planned tonight, do you?"
"No."
"And you're stressing about getting it done?" Blaine prompted excitedly.
"Yes."
"And you don't think AJ will want to be there all day so…" Blaine bit his lip and said, "So we can just go and get what we can. It will be fun and exciting… and take our mind off the stressful parts."
"It's pretty late… and shouldn't we talk about this whole Dad and Carole moving in thing?"
"We'll talk about that on the way. We'll take your boat of a car because I have a feeling once we start, we won't want to stop."
"My car will fit more…" Kurt said thoughtfully.
"Great." Blaine pulled Kurt up and led him to the car. "We'll just get everything we want and we'll get the more specific stuff with AJ on Monday? Or we could even maybe go ahead and try ourselves?"
"Fine. Let me go wash my hair."
"… What?"
"Maybe people won't recognize me without my styled hair. There's already rumors going around we're pregnant and if we're seen in a baby store with a cart full of stuff."
"Washing my hair won't make a difference. They know about the curls. Thanks, Thad. I guess pissing him off wasn't my brightest idea but I also didn't now you were about to burst into stardom." Blaine grinned when Kurt went upstairs, raising his arms and shaking them in exasperation. "Sorry!"
…
"Oh… my God. What happened here?"
Kurt and Blaine were sitting on their living room floor surrounded by literal heaps of baby stuff. They looked up at Sarah, who was standing in their doorway with a confused expression on her face.
"HA! They went rogue!" Bob came in behind her. "I told you it wasn't a 'babies are here' text. Not with just a picture of Kurt's car full of stuff."
"Did you… buy all of Buy Buy Baby and Target out?" Sarah asked slowly.
"We might have got a little excited and…" Blaine trailed off.
"And we don't know what a lot of this stuff is." Kurt finished. "But it was in a baby aisle, so we need it, right?"
"Honies, did you go to classes yet?" Sarah bent down and peered into one of the bags. "Yeah… this is nipple cream which you probably don't need."
"We can just give it to AJ." Blaine shrugged.
"No, you cannot give someone nipple cream." Kurt said slowly. "That is weird. We can donate it."
"… To AJ?"
"Not to AJ!" Kurt and Sarah said together.
"You've got four mobiles and two cribs, boys." Bob said, looking in a couple of bags. "Also… you literally bought newborn diapers in all the brands?"
"Online said the babies might not like some of them and to have extras on hand to try." Kurt said.
"And we kept the receipt." Blaine added.
"You two should have taken Jake and Liz with you." Bob said. "Do you keep forgetting you know someone who had twins? Also, this brand sucks so that needs to go back… and this…"
Sarah emptied a bag and handed it to him.
"Did we mess it up?" Kurt looked crestfallen.
"No!" Sarah said quickly. "You just didn't do brand research which might have helped… and you may have gotten too many options which isn't bad in some cases for sure but you've got to have places for the stuff, you know? Otherwise you'll have a corner of a wall with a stockpile."
"Which we had with Charlie and the stuff that ends up in the stockpile usually doesn't get used. I'll get this section." Bob took a seat in the floor. He then took a bag full of onesies, tied tie bag, and tossed it onto a chair. "Can't go wrong with clothes."
"Or blankets. Aww, this is cute." Sarah said, beginning to move diaper boxes into a corner of the room. "I suggest you pick two brand of diapers to try initially… then take the other brands and get tons of diapers in newborn size and one size. We used Luvs and Pampers Swaddlers with most of ours, but we had to use some from the UK for Miles because he apparently wants to be ecofriendly? We went through so many to find ones that didn't aggravate him… but he's definitely the exception."
The front door opened again and Burt, Carole, and Melody came in.
"Woah. Target exploded in here." Melody gasped. "And not the fun section."
"… You two couldn't wait until Monday?" Carole looked amused.
"Apparently not." Bob said, throwing another bag of clothing into the chair.
"Carole, is it weird to give someone nipple cream?" Kurt asked sweetly.
"… Yes." She laughed.
"I get it. Alright?" Blaine said impatiently. "I obviously was not paying very much attention."
Carole bent down, hugging him. "It's okay, hon."
"I'm off tomorrow so I can try to return or exchange the stuff for you." Sarah offered. "I know everything's been a little crazy."
"I knew they'd gone a little crazy when Blaine sent me a picture of the loaded car." Bob told Burt and Carole, laughing.
"But we waited on the bottles." Blaine said cheerfully.
"Oh, those are easy." Carole gasped. "Why would you wait on that?"
"Because someone has been spending too much time online reading up on baby products." Blaine pointed at Kurt.
"Someone else hasn't spent enough." Kurt singsonged.
"It's okay." Sarah said before Blaine could protest. "You've got time… but getting this stuff was good. We just need to, uhm… re-evaluate and upgrade some choices, exchange some choices, and figure out what we still need to get."
"Are you sure you all wanna adopt Blaine? Because Kurt comes with him and sometimes he's a bit sassy." Burt chuckled.
"… If they can adopt Blaine, can we adopt Prince Archie?" Melody gasped. "He's so cute."
"I think Harry and Meghan might miss him, hon." Carole said. "Maybe next year."
"Okay." Melody shrugged and left the room, humming.
"She is so cute." Sarah said. "And, yes. We'll take both of them. We like to feel like we live in a zoo."
"Who needs quiet?" Bob shrugged.
"How quick will this thing happen?" Burt asked him.
"Well, he's gotta get his name changed. It can take months but there is a judge who favors him so as long as he gets his new social security card soon, it should be official on October 22nd." Bob said. "Hint hint, Blaine."
"Does adult adoption happen often?" Carole asked, tilting her head. "Not that it's bad! I've just never actually heard of someone adopting an adult."
"I think it's usually in cases when a kid turns eighteen and had a stepparent that was more like a parent but the biological parent wouldn't sign over rights… but it can happen with health stuff, for will and estate purposes, or almost anything." Bob said. "I actually don't do anything with adoption and always joked that I had unofficially adopted him and…"
"It's time to make it official." Sarah beamed. "I mean, Kurt and Blaine are already going through big life changes. What's one more?"
"We definitely appreciate all of the stuff your family does to help them. That's for sure." Burt said very seriously.
"Shit. They help us more than we help them. Miles comes down here and harasses them all the time… half the time without telling us. Blaine will take he and Emily to the park when Sar and I have to do something." Bob said.
"Well they can be a handful. Let me tell you." Burt chuckled. "Separately and together."
"That's rude. I'm perfect." Blaine joked, looking through a bag.
"On Mercury maybe." Kurt snorted, making a neat stack of baby blankets next to him.
"Let's not get hateful, Mr. Four Hour Skincare routine." Blaine scoffed.
"Well it's gone down from six." Burt laughed, causing Blaine to snicker.
"You know what? I'm a celebrity and you have to be nice to me now otherwise my minions might take care of you. By that I mean kill you… or post ugly pictures." Kurt pouted. "Plus, I can restrict baby holding privileges."
"Hon, you'll be begging to hand the babies off." Carole laughed. "Just you wait until November. Let's just get all of this organized, find out what needs to go back, and then we can resume picking on them, Burt."
"Hey, I said he could join the family. I didn't say I'd spare him humility." Burt shrugged.
"Too late. He's performed at theme parks. We addressed his lack of humility a long time ago." Kurt teased, bending over and ruffling Blaine's hair.
Blaine tossed a onesie at his head, ducking when Kurt threw one back.
"…. And they're about to be parents." Carole laughed again. "These poor, unnamed twin boys."