A/N: Hi. You're all great. We don't have a lot to say today, but we hope you enjoy what we've written. Thanks for your reviews.
Disclaimer: Neither of us own Chuck or profit off of it monetarily...it does bring joy to our hearts however.
He waved over his shoulder at his sister as she walked into the apartment, keeping his eyes on the latest Call of Duty map, looking for the asshole bush wookie who kept taking his teammates out, and he felt his sister kiss the top of his head and ruffle his curls.
"Hey, how was the grocery store?"
"A grocery store," she said drily, snorting.
"Touché." He chuckled.
"I picked up some pork chops for dinner tonight, and some applesauce, but I'm too lazy to do this veggie dish Devon picked out to go with it, so we're just doing asparagus. What do you think?" she asked, and he heard her set the grocery bag down on the counter in the kitchen.
"Oh. Um…" He left his game, then turned it off, setting his controller on the console and moving towards the kitchen.
She was eyeing him funny. "What?" she asked dubiously, her hand halfway inside of her reusable bag.
Chuck scratched the back of his head. "If we do dinner tonight, can it be earlier? Like on the early side?"
"Sure. Six okay? Devon's home around six-thirty and he can just eat then."
"Perfect. Yeah. Thanks."
"Why?" Ellie asked, tilting her head. "Please don't tell me we're pushing dinner up so that you and Morgan can do one of your all night gaming sessions. Please."
"No, no," he laughed, moving to help her take things out of the bag and put them away. "Sarah's picking me up at eight. You know, for, like...a date so…"
Ellie stopped and spun around to face him so fast that he nearly staggered straight inside of the refrigerator he'd opened to put the asparagus away. Her eyes were wide as she closed the distance, grabbing his arm. "Sarah? Like the girl you went on a date with the other night?"
"Uh. Yeah. Same one."
"Oh my God, Chuck."
"The intensity that's going on here right now might be a little much, El. I'll be honest."
"Sorry. Sorry, sorry." She dialed it back and cleared her throat, smoothing a hand down her hair and letting him go. "I just... A second date. That's pretty...great, Chuck. I mean, that you liked her enough after the first date to ask her on a second one."
"Oh, she asked me." He shut the fridge and just stood there, giving her a wan smile as she gaped.
"I don't know anything about her, but I already like her. She has good taste."
"Dear God, please don't."
She giggled. "I'm just saying. And, um, she's asking you out? That means she liiiikes yooou."
"Are you...teasing me right now? Like...middle school status?"
"Oh hell yes I am. I never get to do this, Chuck. So you're letting it happen. You have no choice."
He laughed then and he heard a voice float down the hallway. "Hey, man! Thanks for leaving my door unlocked. 'Cause it was locked a few nights ago when I came by to HALO and—Oh, shit. Ellie's here. I mean, oh good! Ellie's here! Hi. Hello." Morgan leaned his hand on the doorframe and posed a bit, grinning. "How was your day? You go grocery shopping? That's great. What's for dinner?"
"I don't know, Morgan. Why don't you ask your mom?"
He made a face and lowered his arm back to his side. "That's fair. Fair."
"I was just telling Ellie I've got a date tonight, Morgs. So we can't hang out. Sorry." Chuck shrugged as Morgan gaped at him just as his sister had a few moments earlier. "Whaaat? Why are you guys so surprised? That's not great for my pride, you know."
"It's not surprise, it's happiness," Ellie said. "Happiness that there's a girl who recognizes your great attributes."
"Yeah, finally."
Chuck huffed and walked past Morgan, heading down the hallway towards his bedroom. He was trying to remove himself from the situation, and instead he heard them both following him, chattering, Ellie telling Morgan to get lost, get out of her face, et cetera.
He figured since they were both apparently not going to leave him alone, he could at least get their opinion on an outfit. Well...his sister's opinion, at least. Of course, Morgan immediately turned on HALO and began playing, so he was out of the conversation completely.
"Hey sis, what do you think of this shirt?" he asked, grabbing a blue striped button-up and holding it against his torso, eyeing himself in the mirror. She reached around him and grabbed a handful of hangers with other button-ups right out of his closet, starting to go through them one by one, holding them up and squinting between him and the shirt.
"Chuck, do you remember when you went on that blind date with Caroline? That OR nurse I introduced you to."
"Um, I guess."
"You nearly went on that date in your Nerd Herd uniform, pocket protector and all."
"That shirt is cut really well. It fits my shoulders nicely, okay?"
"Chuck." She gave him a flat look. Then she folded her hands under her chin. "Loooook. You're picking out clothes and asking me for my opinion. For a second date. This is so cute."
"You're really killin' it, here, sis."
"This is very exciting!"
"It's not that big a deal," he groused, deciding he liked this shirt he was still holding. It was blue. Did Sarah like blue, he wondered? Her eyes were blue. Nearly the same color as this shirt, but so much nicer. And then he had to remind himself that for as much as this was a date, as much as she'd asked him out on said date, the U.S. government had practically ordered them both to do this. It wasn't real. None of it was. And it didn't matter whether she liked his shirt or not, because either way they'd still have to pretend to be dating afterwards. And yet, he still hoped she'd like the shirt. Damn it.
"Yes, it is," Morgan interrupted. "She is hot." Chuck rolled his eyes. "Jeepers. I'd go with the first shirt, too; it goes better with your skin tone," he added quickly.
"Oh, yeah?" He turned to face Morgan, a thoughtful look on his face. But then he saw the gobsmacked look on Ellie's face and he thought maybe he was in trouble for...something.
"Wait a minute! Morgan has met her and I haven't?!"
"Well…"
"Yeah…" Morgan gave a bit of a condescending sigh. "He confides in me, Ellie. Ya know? He tells me his deepest, darkest secrets…" Chuck gave him a dubious look for that one. "Which...you could, too...by the way." Morgan paused the game and looked up at her with that pining look of his he'd worn so many times before. Since they were kids, practically.
"Here's one: I loathe you," Ellie said without missing a beat.
"That's not a secret," Chuck said. Morgan pouted a little bit. "And anyway, El, Morgan met her because he was there when she came up to the desk. Don't let him make it sound like he's so special."
"Hey! I'm special. And oh God yes, I was there. It was like the clouds parted and this...angel in a leather jacket just...glided up...glided? Is it glided?" he muttered. "Gloud?"
"Anyway," Chuck interjected, giving Morgan a shut up look. "Seriously, it's just...it's a date. Everyone needs to calm down. See this? This face?" He pointed to his face. "I'm calm." He most definitely wasn't calm, though. About any of this. And if it was a fake date, shouldn't he be calm? Technically, he could be the worst, spill a drink on himself, trip and fall face first into the pavement, and she'd still be stuck with him. He shouldn't be freaking out about this at all.
"Well, I need to meet this girl," Ellie said, shoving his shirts back into his hands. Whoa. Whoa...what?
"Uhhhh…"
"Dinner. Tomorrow night. Ask if she's free."
"El, that's...I mean...This is just the second date. Maybe…"
"Invite her! If she wants to, she will. If she doesn't want to, we get it. We totally get it, but invite her," she said, pointing her finger at him. "Don't just say you're inviting her to me and that she can't come, but actually just never ask her."
"I don't...do that."
"You literally did it last year when I told you to invite Vera to dinner a few months ago."
"In my defense, she was not a great person."
"True, but still…"
"Okay, okay!"
Morgan followed Ellie as she walked around the bed towards the door. "Don't you think it's a little too soon for her to be seeing the Tron poster?" he asked, chuckling. "Not exactly a natural aphrodisiac."
Chuck glared openly at his best friend. But it was nothing compared to the way Ellie wordlessly stopped and stared at Morgan, her features unmoving. He must've felt her white hot burning gaze on the side of his face because he glanced up and immediately looked away, his face much paler than it had been.
"Dinner. Perfect. I'll...clear my schedule."
With one last sweet smile, his sister strode out of his bedroom. He took a deep breath, hanging up the rest of his shirts. This was going to be...interesting. Interesting was the word he was using...Interesting. Dear God.
}o{
Sarah spotted Chuck standing at the sidewalk outside of his apartment complex, his hands stuffed in his pockets, staring down at his feet as he shuffled his weight back and forth. And he looked up as she turned the wheel and pulled up against the curb beside him, her tires screeching a bit as she stopped.
She looked out of the open passenger window at him and sighed as he blinked at her Porsche. "Get in," she called.
He'd stooped down to let his eyes run up and down the sleek body of the car, and she let him, smirking a little, at least inwardly.
"Wow, Wienerlicious really pays well, huh?"
She didn't have much patience tonight, though. Not after that meeting about Dr. Zarnow. She hadn't received much reassurance from the way her superiors had talked about the experiment with the doctor and Chuck. They thought he might know how to retrieve the secrets from Chuck's brain again. Or at least, he was apparently the best person to figure out how to go about handling the situation. But the entire meeting was about "the asset" and making sure they kept him in the dark as best they could. He could know nothing.
And Beckman had given her agent a bit of a look when she mentioned they couldn't have Dr. Zarnow seeing Chuck. Under no circumstances, she'd emphasized. And while she knew that was to ensure Chuck's identity was kept a secret, it had felt strange. There was something about this that felt bigger, and she would have to keep her guard up extra, she thought. Around Casey, especially.
Normally, she might bring this up with her own superior, as Graham had likely missed the look the general had given Casey, but she thought she had a good enough reason to keep it to herself this time.
"So, uh...what are we doin'? We, uh, we goin' to a movie, or…?" Chuck asked then, moving to the door and opening it. For a moment, he looked almost hesitant to be getting into her car, as though he realized he was about to climb into a Porsche, as though he was almost savoring the moment. And it made this stupid date feel...grosser.
"Not exactly," she said, not caring if he heard a bit of annoyance in her voice. It wasn't directed at him, after all.
She saw him turn to look at her, his brow furrowed, lips pursed, and she took a moment to take in how cute his incredibly long legs looked all scrunched up in the small space. "Wh-what d'ya mean...not exactly? What does not exactly mean...exactly?"
Sarah found herself smiling at him, or maybe rather...about him...as she pulled away from the curb and drove along the streets to the Buy More. He'd find out soon enough, but she had to be extra focused tonight. For a good chunk of it, she'd be outnumbered if anything went south.
And if she was going to be focused, she couldn't let this man's little quirks throw her or distract her, the way they had on their...first date.
When they pulled into the Buy More parking lot after a comfortably quiet drive, Chuck became visibly confused. "Whaaaat are we doin' here?"
But she knew he was smart enough to figure out by now that this date she'd invited him on wasn't going to be anything like an actual date. No movies. No food. No walking him up to his door for a goodnight kiss. Instead, a doctor who may or may not be able to get the secrets out of his head, a doctor who may or may not actually be a threat to him. And, of course, there was Casey.
"Well, not a movie. Really. Sort of one. But not really," she said, climbing out from behind the steering wheel. He was a lot less graceful getting out of the passenger seat, she noticed, almost as if he'd forgotten how to work his own limbs, staggering out and standing with a relieved grunt. He cleared his throat, brushed off the shoulder of his shirt, and shut the passenger door. "You good?" she asked.
"Yes."
And she smiled at his back as he walked ahead of her, shoving his hands in his pockets again.
He unlocked the door and let her in first, locking it again behind him and turning off the alarm, and they stepped fully into the store together.
"So! Here we are on our date at the Buy More…" She watched him turn in a full circle, taking everything in. "Is this all part of 'the plan', or a chance for me to clock in on some over time?"
There was no sense in keeping Chuck in the dark on everything. She'd decided that in the car on the way from her place to Chuck's. As much as her superiors might've wanted Chuck to just walk in, do what they told him to, and leave again without asking questions about what in the hell all of this was, they all were seeming to forget this guy was also a human being. Not an asset, and not a computer. A person. She couldn't let herself forget.
And so she'd have to tell him before they got to the theater room. Before they had ears on them.
"There's a doctor coming to see you, Chuck. He apparently knows about this program Bryce sent you. He worked on the encoding process for the thing...that...put those secrets in your head." She hated that she didn't have the clearance to know more than that. It infuriated her. "He's coming to examine you," she finished. And that better be all, she thought to herself.
"Uh huh…" Chuck looked nervous for the first time since he got into her car suddenly. "And does this...examination involve, oh I dunno, say...needles? Or perhaps probing of some kind?" His eyes widened.
"The doctor is our best shot at helping you." He took a deep breath and she gave him a reassuring smile, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "It's what you want, right? To get the secrets out of your head?"
He gave her a long look and for once, she couldn't read it. And then he burst out, "Yeah. Yeah, of course."
Deciding not to think much on it, she strode away from him.
"You-You're still being very vague about the probing and I'd like to know the answer to that."
When they got inside, she noticed Casey wasn't there. Frowning to herself, she decided she'd set it all up herself. The NSA agent was probably making sure Zarnow was set, too. But her guard was still up as she led Chuck to the desk.
She grabbed the headset and handed it to him. "Here, put this on."
"Oh. Rad. Think the government has an extra set of these I can use for my Call of Duty sessions? This would be perfect for late at night when Ellie and Awesome are sleeping. Really cuts down on the noise."
Sarah just gave him a long look.
He blushed a little and cleared his throat. "That's a no, then. Figured, uh, figured I'd just...ask. Alrighty, then."
Chuck put the headset on and turned to face the rest of the room. She put a hand on his shoulder and gestured to the couch. "Have a seat, Chuck."
"Right. Okay." He moved to the couch and plopped down as she crossed the theater room to pick up the remote for the curtains. She tried not to dwell too much on how eagerly he was following her instructions.
And as he sat down, she decided a bit more explanation might be required. "We rewired the home theater room for this test." She pointed the remote at the windows and pressed the button, the grey curtains behind Chuck sliding closed. "When the images start, just say what they are."
He looked a bit confused again, startled almost. And then he looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "That's it?"
"I'm sure you'll find a way to screw it up."
Sarah rolled her eyes, feeling incredibly tired suddenly as she turned on her heels to see Casey leaning against the doorframe jauntily, proud of himself for the line he'd just delivered, the asshole. "The doctor's here," the major said, looking at her. She nodded, ready to leave Chuck alone in the room, but then he spoke up.
"When do I get to meet him?" he asked, innocent curiosity in his voice.
"You don't," she explained, setting the remote down. "It's important that he doesn't see you. You're too valuable."
She walked right out of the room, hearing Chuck's sardonic, "Thaaanks, I'm flattered and totally freaked out."
She chose not to look at him right then, afraid of what she'd see on his face, and she let Casey shut the rest of the curtains and shut the door behind them.
"We sure about this Zarnow character?" Casey asked then as they slowly made their way towards the center of the store. She saw the doctor standing there, waiting for them at the Nerd Herd desk, half shrouded in shadow.
"He worked on this thing, didn't he?" she asked over her shoulder. "If anyone can help, hopefully it's him."
"Good, 'cause I want the hell off this ride. If I gotta sell one more freakin' DVD player…" He stopped then as they closed in on the doctor. "Dr. Zarnow…"
"Agent Casey. Agent Walker."
As he reached out to shake her hand, she said, "Thank you for meeting us at a neutral site."
"Let's begin." And he made his way around behind the desk, setting his briefcase and laptop bag on top of it and unloading everything he needed. At least he was getting down to business, no glitz and glamour to speak of.
Sarah kept one eye on the home theater room as the scientist continued to set everything up, and when he finally turned on his computer and nodded to them, she turned to give Casey a long look. He met her gaze, but she couldn't read his stoney features.
"I don't understand why I can't see my patient," Dr. Zarnow said then, typing away.
Sarah watched him closely as she answered. "For your safety, we're keeping Patient X's identity a secret."
He didn't say anything for a moment, but his fingers slowed down on the keyboard and he glanced at her quickly, before he went right back to work. "And does...Patient X work here?"
Red flags went off immediately at how forced his nonchalance was. She crossed her arms and turned to watch as Casey took point in answering that question. "Patient X...with the secrets he has in his brain...working at a Buy More?"
"Ridiculous," Zarnow scoffed, nodding and going back to his computer again.
She and Casey exchanged a look at that. And she wondered if he had similar misgivings at the moment, considering this guy was asking questions he really shouldn't be asking. Questions he knew he didn't have the clearance to ask.
"All right. We're ready. Connect me with Patient X, please."
Casey reached over, connected the mic, and gestured for Zarnow to start. "Go 'head, doc."
"After the tone, we will begin," he said.
Chuck's voice came from Zarnow's computer speakers. "Uhhh! Uh, dog...hippopotamus...fat guuuuy..." Sarah raised her eyebrows at that as Casey let out an amused grunt. "Ugly building…" Zarnow typed quickly and hit enter. "Really beautiful woman at the beach." The scientist's features went hard then as he typed and hit enter. There was a long pause, and then Chuck's voice came through rushed, but almost droning, as though he was reciting something, or he'd lost control of his own mouth. "Cardinal One is the top Moscow spy in the White House office of…" He kept talking, rapidly, barely taking a breath as Zarnow continued clicking through each picture. The things he was saying... plotted assassinations, airlines being shot down, something about a base under the Denver International Airport. She'd never heard any of this before, and as she turned to look up at Casey, she saw his eyes were widening as well. Zarnow clicked to one last picture and there was finally silence for just a split second.
"Okay. Well, that's just a picture of a turtle."
Sarah wasn't even sure how long they'd been standing there, how much information Chuck had just spewed as though he was reading it straight out of top secret files, word for word. What in the hell was in his head? How was any of this happening?
Zarnow pulled at the connection to the mic so that Chuck couldn't hear them anymore and he let out a long breath. "This patient is phenomenal. We never imagined…"
"What didn't you imagine?" she asked, her heart racing a mile a minute.
He looked up at her, and then switched his gaze over to Casey. "The information he has retained in his brain...it's…" She watched as he changed tack. "It's a wonder he is still—"
"Can you get the secrets out of his head?" Casey interrupted. Sarah turned to glare a bit at the NSA agent. Yes, that was the most pertinent question, the thing they were here for, but what in the hell had they done to this guy? What had Bryce done to him?
"Yes," Dr. Zarnow finally answered, nodding slowly. "I think I can."
Relief spilled through her, but she kept it under lock and key as Casey sent her a sidelong glance, and she merely gave him a small, thoughtful smile, something he might take as a shared 'Thank God we can get out of this place' moment between them.
"H-Hey. Uh...G-Guys? The screen went blank. Is the screen supposed to go blank? Nothing's there. I think it's broken." Sarah smiled a little harder at the computer Chuck's voice was coming out of and then cleared her throat.
"Casey, do you want to make sure Dr. Zarnow gets back to his car all right? And I'll deal with...Patient X." She turned to the scientist and shook his hand. "Thank you for your help, Dr. Zarnow. Looking forward to getting things back to normal," she said.
"Agent Walker."
She moved away from the two men, and stole a quick glance over her shoulder at them as they spoke in low tones while Zarnow started powering down and packing everything up. Part of her didn't want to leave the two of them alone together, but more than that, she had no idea what sort of a state of mind Chuck might be in after over an hour's worth of...whatever Zarnow had been doing to him with those photographs. She didn't understand this program. It was above her clearance, she knew. But it was also above Major Casey's clearance. So why in the hell didn't he seem as spooked or surprised by what he'd seen Chuck do tonight?
Wiping any semblance of concern from her face, pinching her cheeks a little to get color back in them, she opened the door to the home theater room and stepped inside. Chuck whipped around from where he still sat on the couch, headset still on, and he immediately pointed at the television.
"Hey. Uh, I dunno if you could hear me out there. But the TV stopped. I mean, there's nothin' on it."
"Oh. Yeah, you're done. Test is over."
"Oh! Great! Okay, that makes sense. Good."
She turned on the light and saw him wince, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You okay?" she asked tentatively, stopping mid-stride.
"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Just…" He swept his eyes up to meet hers and shook his head. "Nothin'. I'm all good. Wasn't ready for the lights, that's all."
"Oh. Okay." She closed the distance and leaned down to gently take the headset off of him, wincing and apologizing when one of his curls got caught in it for a second. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," he chuckled. "I'm surprised I'm not bald with how often I've done the same thing while gaming. I have such cheap freakin' earphones at home. I just stopped usin' 'em."
She smiled and put the headset back on the desk. Casey could deal with the rest of this, she decided. She was taking Chuck home. He seemed quiet now, but he wasn't freaking out the way she imagined he might. No flailing and wondering how the hell he knew all of that. Had he forgotten? Did he even know he'd said those things?
Chuck climbed to his feet and tugged a little on the legs of his jeans, straightening his shirt. "I get, uh, I get why you said it's sort of a movie. Only thing was, I was watching it...alone." He chuckled. "While you were out there. Which...if this were a real date, that'd be super weird."
She watched as he winced at what he was saying and shook his head, a self-deprecating chuckle coming out of him as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. But then he walked right towards the door to leave and she had to lunge to block him. He walked right into her and she had to put her hand on his chest to keep the body contact to a minimum. And yet…
"Sorry," she breathed. "The doctor might still be out there and we can't let him see you, or...vice versa."
Chuck gulped and nodded, taking a step back. "No, of course. I get it. Sorry, I, uh, I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay. I'll go check." She gave him one last smile and ducked out of the room, leaning to the side and peeking around towards the Nerd Herd desk. Zarnow and Casey were gone, it looked like. That had been mercifully quick. "Okay, Chuck...we're good."
He emerged out of the theater room and shrugged, checking his watch. His eyes bugged as he looked at it. "Oh...shit, wha—I was in there for almost two hours? That...that didn't feel like…" He shook his head and huffed. "No wonder my head kinda hurts. S'why my sister used to tell me to stop playing video games in the dark. Bad for your, uh, your eyes. I don't know what I'm saying. Um...what's next?"
"Come on," she said, gesturing for him to follow her back through the store. They caught Casey as he was making his way back in. "I'm taking Chuck home. You're cleaning up."
Casey grunted and gave Chuck a look. Something was different in it, she thought. Like what he'd just seen had given him a new appreciation. She inwardly scoffed at that. Appreciation…? Maybe not that. But at least, he might be intrigued.
Sarah was more than intrigued. All of this didn't sit right with her. How was she supposed to protect Chuck when she didn't even know the full extent of what she was protecting him from? This seemed much bigger than she'd been led to believe. None of this felt right.
"Uh...g'night, Casey," Chuck chirped, waving. They both watched as the man kept walking into the store as though Chuck hadn't said a word. "Cool," he murmured so only she could hear it. "Awesome...good talk. What a nice guy. Real friendly."
She sniffed in amusement as they made their way to her car and got inside again. She glanced at her watch and nibbled her lip thoughtfully as she drove back towards his place. It was only ten-thirty, she'd picked him up at eight…
"Chuck, you mind if we drive around for a bit?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Uh, n-no. Not at all. Why, if I may ask?"
"This date only lasted for two and a half hours and our first one went well past sunrise. At least, that's how it might look to your sister and her boyfriend."
"Oh. Ohh! Good point. That's probably not good for the cover, right? They might think the date went south or somethin', huh?"
"Exactly."
"Yeah. Makes sense. You hungry? We can maybe get some ice cream."
"Um...sure. Yeah. That's a good idea."
They took another hour to get ice cream, the conversation very light, Chuck telling her about the shipment they'd gotten at the Buy More earlier, and how someone had let his coworker Jeff have scissors and that he accidentally cut most of the product boxes trying to open the UPS parcels, and that most of it probably wasn't even sellable anymore. And Chuck somehow got chewed out by another coworker named Harry Tang, as though he'd put the scissors in Jeff's hand himself.
She didn't understand how he'd managed to be in that place for years with all of those people. How he didn't downright lose his mind in that time. And she wondered if maybe his brain was just that incredible. Considering what she'd witnessed tonight, she thought it had to be. She couldn't believe her eyes. And here he was sitting there in the passenger seat of her Porsche as she pulled around to the curb outside of his complex, alert, alive, his brain functioning normal enough. Except for the headache he'd complained about right after the fact.
Had what Zarnow done to his head caused it, she wondered? The pictures? Had it been overworked?
She fought down the worry at that thought as she finally brought her car to a stop and turned to look at him.
"So! Did I...pass the test?" He rubbed his hands down his pants a bit nervously.
"You did great, Chuck," she said sincerely. Because he had. To an extent that she wasn't even sure she understood yet.
"And this doctor guy? He can fix me?" His eyebrows turned down in the middle.
"He's hopeful. Yeah," she said with a nod. She felt ridiculous saying that, she felt like a liar, like she was just saying bullshit to keep him calm, pliable. And with the way he was looking at her, like he was searching for something, maybe something reassuring, something that would help him sleep tonight, she felt like she wanted to just sink into the pavement under her car.
He didn't seem to find what he needed as he nodded back. "Okay!" He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned away from her to open his door as she felt her face crumble for a moment. But then he stopped and she schooled her features as he spun back with an, "Oh! Oh, I almost forgot! Uh. Dinner. Tomorrow. My place. If you can. With my sister and her boyfriend, Captain Awesome. She really wanted to meet you, so…"
"Oh." She plastered a smile on her face. "Okay, well that's a good idea."
"Meeting the family's kind of a big step," he kept going, not meeting her eye, "if our relationship were...remotely real." His short chuckle was so warm and sweet, and she felt her smile dim just a tad. And then their eyes finally met for a long moment, and he looked down with an equally sweet clearing of his throat. "So, um...If this whole examination thing works out then I guess—I guess we're through, huh?"
Sarah made a point of looking straight ahead, knowing where he was going with this. "Uh, yeah. Mhm." She spared him a quick, closed-mouth smile.
Again, she felt like he'd probably hoped for more out of her answer. She didn't know what. But something. And again, he hadn't gotten it. He just stared at her for a while, his brown eyes swirling, the air in the car suddenly getting almost a bit tense and uncomfortable.
"Okay, well…" He cleared his throat again and actually swung the door open this time. "G'night."
"Night," she said, noticing how quiet his voice had gotten, how soft everything about him suddenly was. And she watched him with somewhat of an ache starting deep in her chest. She suddenly just wanted to go back to her room, get out of here, be alone.
But then he turned again as he shut the door, leaning down and draping his arms over the door, looking in at her through the open window. Why'd he have to be so soft? Why couldn't he freak out, ask her what in the hell all of this was? Ask her what was happening to him? Why couldn't he be angry? Or upset? Instead of this...softness…
"Oh, and uh...just so ya know…" He smiled at her, the streetlight shining down on his curls and his shoulders in a way that made her want to scream. "Um. Tonight was probably the best...only...second date I've been on in years." He chuckled warmly, willingly admitting something she thought most people—guys especially—wouldn't be secure enough to admit. But she saw the insecurity there anyway, in the teasing self-deprecation he was so good at, she was coming to realize.
She couldn't do anything else but smile slowly, unaware of how much of that smile was in her eyes. Unaware that he could see it plainly.
"Drive safe," he finally said, thumping his open palm on the door, and then he straightened to his full height and walked away from her. A pang went through her chest, acute and painful and sudden, and she felt her smile drop away immediately.
When he got to the entrance gate that led into the courtyard, he turned a bit awkwardly and gave her a half wave. She waved back and forced a smile onto her face, keeping it there until he was out of sight.
Knowing what he knew, that an old school friend of his had screwed him over by sending him an email that forced government secrets into his brain somehow, that his life was potentially irrevocably changed, and for all he knew, for the worst… How was he still like...this? Joking with her, positive, asking her if she wanted to get ice cream to make this non-date last longer, seeking reassurance from her and not being actively upset when she couldn't give him what he needed…?
And even the simple kindness of telling her he enjoyed the non-date, even if he was teasing her, in order to get a smile out of her. That was his thing, though, wasn't it? She thought as she drove away. He did and said things to get smiles out of people. But, she noticed lately especially, he particularly directed his efforts towards her.
By the time she got back into her room, she went straight for her bed, climbing onto it, grabbing one of her pillows, and letting out a loud, soul-deep roar of a yell into it. It was supposed to be cathartic, but it only helped a little.
How was she supposed to keep doing this? She had to, and she knew it. But he was making it so easy for her, actively making it easy...and that made it so much harder.
She was afraid Casey knew things she didn't know, that his superior had told him more than her superior had told her. She was afraid Zarnow had something up his sleeve. She was afraid of the information Chuck had in his head and what it might mean for him and his future. And she was afraid she was alone in all of this, floundering, trying to find her footing.
She would have to do her best with what she was given. And in the meantime, she'd also have to see what else she could find out about this program Bryce had sent to Chuck, and why Graham felt it was so important that he was working with NSA to retrieve it, protect it until they could retrieve it. And she would have to do it all on her own, behind the scenes.
Agent Walker fell asleep that way, dress and heels still on her feet, and she didn't wake up again until just after sunrise...to the news that Dr. Zarnow had been murdered sometime in the night.
A/N: Thanks for reading! We'll be back, but we would love it if you reviewed this chapter in the meantime.
-SC and DC